Tag: instinct

Your Gut Instinct: Why You Should Listen to It

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At different times in my life, I have either met, or been around certain people whom my inner alarm tried to warn me about. I cannot explain the feeling I got. The only way I can describe this gut feeling is to say that something seemed to be “off” about these people and I would get a sinking, creepy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could literally feel the bad vibes that seemed to pour fourth from these people.

When I was young, I would often mistake this feeling for “just being paranoid” and ignore the feeling, which is something that a whopping majority of bully victims do. And it proved to be to my disappointment…every time! I have since learned that had I listened to my gut and avoided these people, I could have saved myself a truckload of heartache.

God gave us all that “sixth sense” or as it is more commonly called, the “gut feeling” or “instinct”, for a reason. Anytime you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you are not being paranoid, you are not over-reacting. You are picking up on a person’s energy. As a result, your inner alarm is trying to warn you about the person or situation and keep you safe. Here are a couple of excerpts from my book, “From Victim to Victor” that explains this even further:

“…My gut feeling warned me many times about my classmate’s personalities or that someone was about to harm me in some way, shape or form. I did not listen to my innate alarm because the faith in my own intuitive abilities had been shattered. As a result, I often mistook it for being overly suspicious.

Another example of poor decision making was that I became a very MEAN and VICIOUS person. As a result, I often repelled the people who had my best interests at heart, who were genuine and would have otherwise been true friends. I missed out on a lot of opportunities for friendship because I had very quickly come to a place where I did not trust anyone.

It was much safer to put up a barrier and keep everyone, including my own family out than it was to take risks and learn how to trust the right people.

Being bullied and being stuck with unnecessary labels can very easily do this to a person. It cannot only cause you not to believe in yourself and your own abilities, but it can also enable you to trust your own innate intuition if you let it. It blinds you to people who are true as it completely zaps your senses of who is for real and who is fake, thus causing the loss of your ability to avoid dangerous people.”

“…You are not stupid. It is not only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby, crazy or whatever else unsavory people call you. You always know when something does not feel good. You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you and talk through their teeth. You can hear the short and cold tone in their voices. You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people pronto!”

toxic

Please don’t ignore this instinct. Never overlook that sinking feeling in your stomach because it could save you from so much trouble. It could even save your life!

Realize that you have more power than you think. It’s up to you to listen to what your gut is trying to tell you and act on it. No one else can do it for you. You owe it to yourself to avoid anyone who gives you a creepy vibe.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Pay Close Attention to Others’ Energy

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I’ll start with a personal story of experience. During the six years I spent on the receiving end of bullying, I would pick up on the energies of each person in school. Even a few teachers. They energy of most of my classmates and a few teachers was bad. However, being a teenager, I knew squat about psychic energy and vibrations.

Back then, no one ever talked about those things and there weren’t many books written on the subject. Not like there are today. You only heard and read about that gut feeling, or the sixth sense, which is, as most of us know, triggered by the energy or vibrations the people around us put out.

When I would pick up on the yucky energy my classmates exuded, I would mistake my gut feeling for being paranoid. That little voice inside my head would admonish me, telling me, “Aw, C’mon! You don’t know that person. At least give them a chance.”

Therefore, I would give into that voice. I would give the person or people a chance and sadly, I ended up paying dearly for it.

Never Doubt Your Instinct!

Self-doubt is a tricky animal. It convinces you to go against your God-given instincts. It compels you to ignore your innate gut feeling. Self-doubt is what talks you into ignoring the bad energy you feel when you’re around unsavory people. Consequently, you open the door and let into your life people who are evil and nefarious.

If you ignore these things long enough, you eventually become blind to the terrible vibes and energy bad people exude. ‘You see, the ability to pick up on vibrations and energy is like your muscles. It must be exercised to become stronger. In other words, if you don’t use it, you lose it!

Your God-given gut instincts are the last things that you want to atrophy. In this crazy, mixed-up world, you cannot afford for these things to weaken.

Therefore, you must trust your gut. Especially if you are a target of bullying. Never allow others to convince you that you’re “being paranoid.” Never listen when they tell you that you’re crazy for following your intuition.

If ever you pick up bad energy from the people around you, you must get away from those people, if possible. And don’t walk. Run!

Minding your Own Energy Output

Just the same, you should mind your own energy. Bullies are experts at picking up on other’s energy and they trust their instincts. In fact, they never even question them. Why do you think bullies are able to weed through large crowds and pick out potential targets with such accuracy?

For example, if you’re a self-conscious and nervous person with low self-esteem, you will put out those kinds of vibrations. Therefore, bullies will pick up on it and, make no mistake, they’ll milk it for all it’s worth! If nothing else, understand this- energy never lies! Vibrations never lie! You may be able to talk a good game and be a fine actor. But your energy will give you away every time!

That’s why it’s so important that you exude confident energy. This is not to say that you still won’t become a target of bullies. However, you will greatly lesson your chances of it. Know that we have more control over our energy than we realize.

So, how do we control our energy?

We control our emotions- our overall mood. But! How do we control our emotions and mood? Here are several ways:

    1. Listen to positive music- this means opting for upbeat dance music instead of emo rock. We should also listen to songs about dancing or about celebrating and having a good time. Never listen to songs about negative things, such as those about being cheated on by a lover, violence, or songs that bash women. Also, don’t listen to those about suicide or murder. Remember. You want to listen to songs that uplift your mood, not those that bring you down.
    2. Positive affirmations- remind yourself, every day, of your strengths and good qualities only. And do it loudly. Make positive “I am” statements.
    3. Watch a good comedy (no dark comedies). Watch one that is fun. Do this to make yourself laugh because laughter always drives away a crappy mood.
    4. Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up. That means staying away from bullies and abusers, people who complain, put you down, or bring you drama. Stay away from anyone who puts you in a foul mood.
    5. Exercise! It releases endorphins and makes you feel accomplished.

Focus on anything positive. It won’t be easy and may even feel unnatural at first. But keep it up and it will get easier with time. It will also begin to feel like second nature once you’ve practiced it long enough.

In closing, remember that energy never lies. Not only must we pay attention to the energy of the people around us and trust our instincts, but we must also make sure that we ourselves are putting out positive and confident energy.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

12 Signs You’re Being Gaslighted

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Bullies are notorious for gaslighting their targets. As we know, when a target speaks out about the abuse and begins defending themselves, bullies are quick to paint the targets as crazy, try to reverse the roles to make the target look like the bully, or try to convince the target that what happened didn’t really happen- that it was all in the target’s imagination, or they’re being overly sensitive, overreacting, etc.

If you’re a target, understand that bullies will gaslight you to shut you up, so that they can keep their moral high ground. They do it to make you doubt your sanity because they know that if you doubt your own sanity, it’s a sure bet that others will doubt it too.

It’s tough to know when someone is gaslighting you because when others agree with them, you’ll feel even more compelled to just shut up and go along with it. The reason for this compulsion is fear. You know that, more than likely, if you don’t just clam up and go along, you’ll only suffer more abuse as punishment for daring to open your mouth.

So, how do you know that someone is gaslighting you?

Simple. You know just by how it makes you feel. Here are the symptoms:

1. You’ll constantly second guess yourself – It’s a brutal cycle. You say something, make a judgement call, maybe a decision, and then you turn right around and begin wondering if you said or did the right thing. This is bad because second-guessing ourselves can cause us to feel stuck in life, and there are few worse things than feeling stuck.

 You’re hyper-self-aware, self-conscious, and always on guard to make sure you do and say the right thing all the time. Also, too much second guessing can cause us to do and say the wrong things out of nervousness and that is no way to live life!

How you solve this problem is to stop worrying about what others think and to realize that your first instinct will usually be the correct one.

 2. You wonder if you’re imagining things or being too sensitive and you do it several times a day- They don’t call it “crazy-making” for nothing because it can drive you crazy. When people are constantly taking pot shots at you, you hesitate to make any comebacks because, again, you’re too busy doubting yourself and putting too much value on the opinions of others.

Again, the best way to solve this problem is to trust what you feel and go with it. You may get bullied harder for it, but wouldn’t you feel better about yourself later, knowing that you stood up to those creeps?

3. You over-apologize- You apologize for trivial stuff that anyone else could do and probably get away with. You apologize for other people’s behavior. You even apologize for having to go to the bathroom! In short, you apologize for everything!

4. You’re confused all the time- Should you do this or that, say this or that? You live in constant confusion.

5. You’re never happy but you feel you should be- that’s a dead ringer that you’re being gaslighted. Because when people gaslight you even for feeling a certain way, this is what happens. And your feelings are right. You should be happier. Only you have a bullying gaslighter in your life holding you back from the happiness you so richly deserve.

6. You make excuses for other people’s behavior- this especially happens when you have fake friends who only use and abuse you. You don’t want others to know what they’re doing to you because you already know, and you’re riddled with shame over it. And it can be embarrassing when the people you call friends disrespect you because you end up looking pathetic to others. Therefore, you make excuses for them not only to hide the shame of being abused, but to keep your abusers from being angry and making you pay for it later.

But the only way to stop this is to face the truth and, even better, ditching these fakers. Because if you must make excuses for someone who’s bullying and abusing you, they can’t be a friend.

7. You lie to avoid being ridiculed or put down, even about things you should have nothing to worry about- when you feel you must lie about things that are not a big deal, that’s definitely a red flag!

Here are a few more symptoms to be aware of:

8. You feel that you’ve changed- that you’re no longer the confident and outgoing person you used to be.

9. You feel like you can’t do anything right.

10.  You feel hopeless.

11. You wonder if you’re good enough.

 12. You know something’s wrong, but you can’t put your finger on it.

Realize that being gaslighted day in and day out causes you to eventually lose yourself- to lose sight of who you are and once that happens, bullies and abusers will have you exactly where they want you.

Understand that some things are not so clear and that there are situations that we won’t get direct and easy answers to. That is why it’s so important to go with how you feel. Listen to your body- listen to your gut.

“Trust your feelings, Luke.” – Yoda (Star Wars)

There are times when the way you feel will be all the answers you need.

And once you go with your feelings, find a way to rid yourself of the life-leeches in your life (if possible). It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal, get yourself back, and live a peaceful, happy, and purposeful life.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What It Means to Have That Sick Feeling in The Pit of Your Stomach

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When I see a bully from my past, I get that nauseating feeling in the pit of my stomach even now. I don’t even want the person around me. I have no ill will toward the person, and I don’t hate them. I only wish for the person to stay away.

Understand that these body sensations never lie. They are there to warn you of impending danger, and you should always listen to them. That gut feeling is there to protect you. There are other names for the gut feelings we get. We also call it our instinct, a hunch, or sixth sense.

There’s a good reason God gave this instinct to us. It serves as an internal alarm to warn us when something is wrong. Animals have these instincts, too, as do babies and children.

Instincts in animals are a lot keener than in humans because they must survive in the wild. And the instincts of babies and children are much keener than in adults. The reason for this is that the world hasn’t yet tainted children and conditioned them to tone down that sixth sense.

To stay safe, we must reteach ourselves to obey what our senses try to tell us.

Your heart will deceive you, and so will your mind. But your gut is always honest. Listen to it.