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Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

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Do you often wonder whether you have fake friends or real ones? ‘Wanna know the subtle signs people give when they only pretend to like you and be for you? Here are the time-tested and proven indicators that your friends don’t really like you.

fake friends

Having fake friends can leave you confused, exhausted, and worst of all, depressed with a broken self-esteem. If you’re anything like I was years ago, you’re probably wondering whether you have friends or frenemies. As someone who’s experienced this firsthand, I’m giving you all the signs you must look out for to protect yourself from being used and betrayed.

You’re going to learn about all the signs of an undercover enemy, from jealousy, to gossiping, to trying to steal your partner, and more.

Once you learn about all these signs that you have fake friends, you will be more emboldened to take the steps you need to take to rid these people from your life once and for all!

This post is all about the signs of fake friends that every victim of bullying should know about.

Fake friends

There will always be those who only pretend to see your worth but really don’t. And some never will see it. It’s just a part of life on this planet and we shouldn’t waste another nanosecond of our time on those people.

However, some people are terrific actors and it can be hard to tell if you don’t know what signs to look for. You must know the signs or you won’t know who to hang onto and who to let go.

Before we get into the signs, we must first discuss the one prerequisite that comes before being able to recognize these indicators. These are things you absolutely must do before you can spot these red flags and put it to good use.

Prerequisite: Always trust your gut.

Your gut feeling, or sixth sense is something we all have. It’s that internal alarm that goes off in when there’s danger nearby. In other words, it’s that bad feeling deep in the pit of your stomach that warns you when evil is around.

This gut-feeling, or intuition, is triggered by the energy and vibrations the people around you put out. Therefore, if you pay attention, you’ll pick up on the yucky energy your friends exude.

However, be forewarned! If you aren’t careful, you’ll likely mistake that pit-of-your-stomach feeling for being overly-suspicious. Moreover, the little voice inside your head will admonish you. It will tell you, “Aw, C’mon! You don’t know that person. At least give them a chance.”

Realize that self-doubt is a tricky animal. It convinces you to go against your God-given instincts. In other words, it compels you to ignore your innate gut feeling.

Self-doubt is what talks you into ignoring the bad energy you feel when you’re around unsavory people. Consequently, you open the door and let into your life people who are evil and nefarious.

Therefore, Never Doubt Your Instinct when you suspect fake friends!

If you ignore these things long enough, you eventually become blind to the terrible vibes and energy bad people exude. ‘You see, the ability to pick up on vibrations and energy is like your muscles. It must be exercised to become stronger. In other words, if you don’t use it, you lose it!

Your God-given gut instincts are the last things that you want to atrophy. In this mixed-up world, you cannot afford for these things to weaken.

Therefore, you must trust your gut. Especially if you are a target of bullying. Never allow others to convince you that you’re being too overly-suspicious.

If they accuse you of being “p*ranoid,” that’s a red flag. Never listen when they tell you that you’re “cray-cray” for following your intuition.

If ever you pick up bad energy from the people around you, listen up and don’t walk. Run!

Here are the signs of fake friends:

1.You feel bad or awkward around them.

Energy doesn’t lie. Although you may not consciously know that the people you’re with don’t value you, you’ll feel it in their vibrations.

Therefore, avoid anyone who makes you feel that something is “off” because the vibes you feel are a warning. Realize that these people don’t deserve to be in your presence or your life. You deserve better.

2. Empty promises.

These people make all kinds of promises but never follow through. That’s a HUGE red flag! Again, you deserve better than them. It’s time to ditch and switch to better people.

3. Their words don’t match their body language or actions.

They tell you that they like you and that you’re the best thing since the invention of the wheel. However, they don’t act like it.

Instead, they run hot and cold toward you. Sometimes they speak, sometimes they don’t. Moreover, they may treat you like dirt or ignore you when other people are around.

Again, get rid of these losers!

4. Fake friends only want to be with you in private.

This means that they’re probably ashamed to be seen with you. They’re all over you when it’s just the two of you.

However, in public or when others are around, they ignore you and act like they don’t know you. Again, get rid of these no-counts.

5. You make all the effort in the friendship or relationship.

You are always the one to initiate contact, do all the calling, all the texting, and messaging. Also, you make all the visits to their house, using your car gas and your time. However, they never reciprocate.

This can get exhausting. At some point, you find yourself wondering if they really care.

Therefore, it’s time to stop making so much effort and let them do some of the work if they want to contact you. and if they don’t, there’s your answer. Find better friends.

6. Fake friends take and never give.

They only use you for what they can get from you, then disappear when you’re the one in need. Again, this is so revealing. Have nothing more to do with them..

7. They never tell the truth.

If you find that a friend has been lying to you, you have to wonder what else they will lie about. Therefore, it’s time to start choosing friends who are honest and let these people go!

8. They’re jealous of you when things are going well for you.

If your friends resent your achievements and successes, it’s time to cut ’em loose. You deserve friends who celebrate your successes with you, not ones who are green with jealousy and see you as competition.

9. Fake Friends get angry when you talk to your other friends or a family member.

This is a huge red flag! A true friend would never want to keep you all to themselves. True friends won’t block you from associating with other people who love you.

In fact, they would want others to love you too. Moreover, any friend who feels insecure any time you talk to someone else is not good for you. Get away from them, pronto!

10. They have nothing to say to you… until you Unintentionally piss them off.

Some people claim to be with you. However, you never hear a peep from them until you trigger them somehow.

Then suddenly, the floodgates fly open and all the hate and resentment rushes forth like a raging torrent. Be glad because this is how you know they were never for you to begin with.

Now you can weed them out before they do even further damage. Therefore, know your worth and get rid of those who don’t.

11. Fake friends always disappear when you’re in trouble and need them the most.

They’ll leave you to fend for yourself when bullies come for you. Additionally, they may not be supportive when you’re having a rough time. For example, fake friends do not visit when you’re sick or be there for you when you’re feeling low.

Again, dead giveaway. Steer clear!

If you see any of these signs, get rid of them…fast! This person should be about as welcome in your life as a turd in a swimming pool!

You owe it to yourself to let these leeches go!

12. They Take Sides with your bullies and people who abuse you.

If you friends defend the wrong people against you, realize that they were never even worth knowing. They only proved to you that they’re worthless and can never be trusted.

Your fake friends may have defended your bullies because they were afraid of being targeted themselves. However, that doesn’t matter. True friends stick up for you no matter what it may cost them.

Therefore, the last thing you want is a bunch of wimps for friends. I know it hurts when someone you thought so highly of suddenly throws you under the bus!

Believe me, I’ve been there.  Betrayal by people you think highly of is the most painful part of being a victim of bullying.

However, as painful as it is, you need to realize that not everyone is worth your time. Not everyone deserves your friendship.

So, when people turn against you, understand that it’s only the trash taking itself out!

Therefore, what you want are strong and brave friends- friends with substance! You want friends with the cajones to have your back and tell the bullies to go take a long walk off a short pier!

13. Fake friends will believe any lies and rumors about you.

Anyone who believes the worst lies about you and turns on you so quickly is NOT your friend. Also realize that they never had much sack, to begin with.

Again, take out the trash and discard them. They’re no good for you!

Therefore, you must weed out all the frauds and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life!

However, here’s one last thought to consider.

Great friends are hard to find. Because the strong and true are few in this world.

Realize that you must be picky when it comes to allowing people in your life. Why? Because, the cold hard truth is that most people really are a bunch of bagless, weak-kneed wusses.

Just as a girl must kiss many frogs to find a prince who’s worthy of her love, a target of bullying must weed through a great many wusses to find people who are worthy of her friendship.

For others to value you, you must first value yourself! And that means loving yourself enough to walk away from people who are worthless to you (i.e., the fake friends who betray you). Moreover, it also means loving yourself enough to be selective of people who come into your life.

This post was all about fake friends and the signs they give you that you must be aware of.

1. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

Why Fake Friends Stick Around: 6 Must-Know Reasons

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Do you want to know why fake friends stick around even though they can’t stand you? You’ve probably wondered that if they despise you so much, why they don’t just go away and have nothing more to do with you. Here are several motives that keep them coming.

why fake friends stick around

Fake friends secretly either don’t like you. They may even hate you and wish you nothing but harm and bad fortune. Yet, they continue hang around like a bad odor.

If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why they do this. As someone who’s been there and discovered the answers, I’m giving you all the must-know reasons to relieve you of any confusion you might have.

In this post, you will learn why fake friends stick around. You will get these answers in detail so that you can understand more clearly and take steps to protect yourself.

Once you learn about all their motives and intentions, you will then have the courage to stand up to these imposters and send them packing once and for all. Moreover, you will take back your dignity and peace of mind.

This post is all about the reasons why fake friends stick around. The purpose of this post is to give you the courage to ditch these imposters and take back your peace.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

Everyone has fake friends. These are the people who only pretend to like them but secretly wish them harm and bad luck. Moreover, this individuals desire to be in our circle and get close to us. But why?

If they hate us so much, why would they continue to hang around? Why do they seem to want to stay right under us all the time? It’s like these people want to literally attach themselves to us and never let go! Yikes!

These are the people who slither their way into our lives only to end up betraying us later.

Here are the reasons why fake friends stick around:

1. To watch you closely.

You may not realize it, but these people have a strategy. Therefore, they do this deliberately to achieve their own evil ends.

Therefore, fake friends stick around to study your movements and patterns. They want to learn your routine. Why? So they can better predict any reactions and what your next move is likely to be.

Understand that to learn an enemy’s patterns is to collect intel on them that can be weaponized later.

For example, undercover cops infiltrate drug rings so that they bust them and take them down later. Fake friends are no different.

If you’ve ever read the book, “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu, you know that the most fundamental rule is to “Know your enemy.”

2. To win your trust.

They know that if you let down your guard and trust them, the more likely you are to let them in on your problems and deepest, darkest secrets.

Also, when you trust someone, you’re more likely to feel more comfortable making simple, human mistakes. Also, you’ll and show your less than desirable emotions around them.  And why not? If the person is a friend, they’re least likely to judge you.

In other words, this person will watch the target closely, then establish good rapport with them. Then develop a close friendship with them to lower any apprehension the person might have had in the initial stages.

On the other hand, if the person is a fake friend, you unwittingly give them fodder and ammunition to use against you later.

3. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: To watch you fail.

Everyone experiences failure at some point. And your fake friends want nothing more than to be around to see it when you do fail at something.

They can then smile inside and get the satisfaction and gratification they’ve been looking for.

However, if you ever succeed at something, especially if it’s something big, you will see their true colors come shining through.

For example, if you accomplish something huge, like making the NYT Bestseller list or winning the lottery, watch the masks fall off. These posers will suddenly give you the cold shoulder. They may even lash out at you, accusing you of thinking you’re better than everyone else.

Also, they might accuse you of having connections who helped you reach success, or worse! Cheating your way to victory!

It will hurt, don’t get me wrong. But you’ll know exactly who these people are and you’ll know what to do with this trash.

4. They want to know your desires, plans, goals, and dreams.

Why? Because if they know what they are, they know where to sabotage you and gain a sense of power over your life.

Understand that any time you’re bullied, it isn’t so much the bullies who are the most harmful to you. It’s the betrayal of those you thought were your friends.

That’s what hurts the most and can be devastating.

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Moreover, what makes this so crushing is the knowing the person duped you into handing over your trust.

You not only feel violated, you feel like a complete idiot for allowing the person into your life, to begin with. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Feeling that you, in a sense, allowed it to happen.

5. Why Fake Friends Stick Around is To feel superior.

Think about it. By continuing to put up with fake friends, you’ve lowered your standards and they know it.

Understand that, in a fake friendship, the entire friend relationship is based on conditions. Also, these types of friendships are one-sided. It’s about what you can do for them.

Therefore, they’re getting all the benefits of the friendship and you’re getting zero! To continue clinging to this type of friendship suggests to the other person that you’re inferior.

Also, it means that you’re so desperate for friends that you’ll willing to eat shit just to keep from being alone.

And you’ve got to admit. It’s pathetic! Therefore, stop doing things that are beneath you and holding on to friendships that aren’t good for you.

Know that you’re better than that. And you deserve much better!

Again, remember that for them to be superior requires you to be inferior.

6. You convenience them somehow.

Many fake friends continue to hang around because of the conveniences you bring to the friendship. For example, you let your friend girl barrow your favorite sweater only for her not to return it.

Another example would be that you help them move their things when they get kicked out of their apartment for failure to pay rent. However, when you have to move because of a bad break-up or divorce, they never show up.

However, once you figure this person out, it’s GAME OVER!

Now’s the time to cut off any benefits this creep may have gotten from you and end the friendship right then and there.

So, how do you weed these fakes out before they get the chance to betray you?

Here’s how:

1. Be yourself.

When you are your true, authentic self, you only naturally drive away the fakers. These are people who don’t need to be in your life in the first place. This is a good thing because they would only harm you later.

Better to rid yourself of them now rather than to wait until you establish a connection and get close to them.

Why? Because once you’re close to someone, you naturally give them the benefit of a doubt.  Also, it’s much harder to believe they would ever hurt you. Even worse, even more difficult to have the courage to show them the nearest exit.

Therefore, it’s better to weed them out now and save yourself that heartache.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

2. Voice your opinions.

This is more important to do today, than ever! Most people nowadays tend to get abusive and bent out of shape when they find out that you don’t have the same opinions, beliefs or convictions as they do.

So, do you want and let people see the real, authentic you. If people around you don’t respect your rights to be a separate individual with an independent mind, that’s your clue to ditch and switch!

It’s true that we should always respect the opinions of others, even though we don’t always agree with them. However, many don’t live by that virtue these days.

Therefore, when people resort to ad hominem attacks when you don’t agree with their views, they only reveal their own evil intolerance.

Realize that when you’re authentic, you force people to reveal their true natures and tell you all you need to know about them.

And this is how you weed out all the fakes and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life! In cases like this, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds!

Always remember that!

This post was all about the reasons why fake friends stick around to embolden you to ditch them, raise your standards, and choose people who are real friends.

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

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‘Want to know how to spot fake friends and remove any confusion of whether the friendship is real? Here are 5 tried and true ways to trick them into exposing themselves.

how to spot fake friends

Do you have friends who seem to run hot and cold on you? Do they leave you confused as to whether or not their friendship is real?

In this post, you will learn how to spot fake friends by using these easy methods to make them come clean. And the best part is, they won’t even realize they’ve outed themselves until it’s too late.

Once you learn these simple tactics, you will remove any confusion and see these snakes exactly for who they are. Then you will know to ditch these people and move on with your life.

This post is all about how to spot fake friends, get rid of them once and for all, and restore not only your peace, but also your dignity and self-respect.

How to spot fake friends

At some point in our lives, we’ve all put up with fake friends who cunningly tried to hold us back. These are people who very stealthily undermined our confidence and disrupted your peace.

However, fake friends can be hard to spot if you aren’t paying attention. On the outside, they can look like they’re really in your corner when they’re really only in your business. They may seem like they want you to win when, deep down inside, they hope you crash and burn.

For instance, narcissists are masters at duping unsuspecting people into befriending them, having a relationship with them, and even marrying them.

If you’re a victim or target of bullying, then you are all the more susceptible to being taken in by these social chameleons.

Why? Because chances are that bullies have defamed you so severely that friends have turned their backs on you and making new friends has become difficult, if not impossible.

And now, the isolation you feel is so intense that you’ll befriend anyone who smiles at you. In other words, you’re vulnerable.

Know that this is a recipe for disaster!

Here’s How to Spot Fake Friends

Are you ready for this? Here goes: You do it by being yourself, by setting boundaries, and by speaking and standing in your truth. I’ll explain deeper.

1. Be Yourself.

Too many people put on fake personas to sucker you in and get what they want from you. Therefore, whenever you’re confused about a friend’s intentions, you may have to conduct a test to see if the person really is your friend.

This can be difficult to do, especially if you’re a victim of bullying because you’re afraid of rocking the boat and pissing the person off.

However, you must realize that, if you’re a target of bullying, chances are good that most of your friends aren’t really for you. They only act like they are to either get something from you, or they tolerate you because they feel sorry for you.

You must realize that people like these can reek lots of havoc in your life if you aren’t careful! They can turn on you at any moment, stab you in the back, and disappear when your bullies come for you.

Therefore, for your own sake, give these fakers the boot!

Like Attracts Like

To put it plainly, when you’re fake, you only attract more like-minded people into your world- fakes, fraudsters, and imposters! However, when you start being yourself, these people will naturally be repelled because they won’t like it.

Being real has a way of intimidating and threatening the fake. It strikes fear in them because a person who’s for real has a chance of exposing all who are fake.

Is it any wonder that fake people either stay away from or bully those who are real? It’s because truth and reality scare them to death!

Therefore, never be afraid to start being your true, authentic self. It exposes imposters without them even realizing it because they will react very harshly.

It is through their brutal reactions that these people expose themselves.

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: Set Boundaries.

This is a biggie! Setting boundaries is not easy. It can be frightening sometimes, especially when someone pushes you too far and the situation calls for you to put on your bitch-face and show your booty to people.

However, don’t worry about what others will think of it or say about it.

Boundaries always expose the fakes. Always! When you start setting boundaries, watch how people react! You’ll be amazed at how many people get angry and upset!

Therefore, you will automatically see their evil sides as they immediately turn against you, trying to lay guilt trips on you or smearing you to others.

However, understand that anyone who gets angry at you for having boundaries only does so because they’ve benefited all this time from you not having any.

Do you think they want those benefits to stop?

3. Say no.

Saying no is difficult because it involves risk. However, it’s one of the ways you practice self-care. Moreover, it’s how you expose fake people in your life.

You see? When you tell a real friend no and explain why you won’t or can’t. They will understand and keep the friendship alive.

However, tell a fake friend no and they’re either get angry and lash out, or try to manipulate you into changing your mind.

Again, this is how you get them to show themselves as they truly are. Also, it’s the prerequisite to weeding out the fakers.

And when you make imposters expose themselves through their behavior, you instantly know who to kick out of your life and who to keep around.

Therefore, this is a good thing!

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: Succeed at something.

One way to flush out the fakes is to accomplish something. In other words, win at something.

For example, you win fifty thousand dollars in a contest, or publish a book and make the international best seller list. The money begins rolling in.

You can bet that the majority of your friends will be jealous and resentful. Many may turn on you and accuse you of cheating in the contest.

Maybe a few people you thought were friends suddenly stop talking to you or act cold toward you after you reap huge financial rewards for your best selling novel.

However, don’t feel bad. Although it may hurt, it may even break your heart, see it for what it is. These people are only showing their true colors.

Listen to them and do what you need to do to cut off contact because they were never truly in your corner to begin with.

 Know that real friends are happy for you. They cheer you on because they will want what’s best for you and to see you happy. These people celebrate your wins with you.

5. Speak and Stand in Your Truth.

When you begin freely speaking out about past abuse and bullying, you can bet that you’ll make a lot of people angry. Moreover, you’ll make bitter enemies not only of the people who wronged you in the past but also of those who stood by and watched it happen but failed to stop it.

Sadly, even a few you thought were with you will suddenly turn their backs on you.

However, see this as your clue to which friends to keep and which to let go. Again, this is how fake friends expose themselves and their intentions toward you.

6. How to Spot Fake Friends: Ask for help with something.

It’s one thing when friends can’t help you on a particular day you need it. Maybe the friend’s mother or their child suddenly became sick and the friend had to take them to the hospital or doctor’s office.

Also,  your friend who had the day off to help you was suddenly called into work. Naturally, these situations are understandable and you should graciously respect that.

However, if your friend has a long record of either making excuses as to why they can’t be there for you, they stand you up without calling you to let you no, or they just disappear every time you’re in a jam, that’s a red flag.

Again, their actions and reactions tell you everything you need to know. Therefore, pay attention and see this as your cue to make changes in the friendship that you need to make.

7. Just Watch and Listen.

Many times, all it takes is just to watch and listen.

In other words, notice how they carry themselves and how they talk and act. You’d be surprised at how much you can learn by observing and listening.

Let’s break it down. If you catch them talking bad about another of their friends, stabbing them in the back, you can be sure they’re talking about you behind yours.

Moreover, if you notice that you only see them when things are going good in your life, then when you’re flat on your back, they seem to disappear, that’s another red flag. You don’t need fair weather friends.

If they’re into drama or always come around when they need something, this is a bad sign as well.

This last one is a biggie! If they’re quick to believe the lies and smears your bullies spread about you, then they’re definitely not friends!

It pays to choose your friends wisely.

This Post Was about how to spot fake friends so that you can get rid of them and take back your peace and dignity.

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

 

Most Bullies are Fakers and Posers

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During high school, I can’t count the classmates who were posers and fakers. My guess was that these posers accounted for at least half of the class. It shouldn’t be surprising that in high school, everything is based on appearances. Therefore, those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the ones who are bullies and usually, most popular.

However, most high school kids don’t pay attention to detail. Thankfully, I was one of the few who did.

In the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. Yet, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Cheap Wallets and Knock-off Handbags

Also, the girls in the clique would wear their high-fashion clothes. However, cheap, knock-off “Gucci” handbags would be hanging from their shoulders and arms. If you paid close attention and had an eye for detail, you could tell by the stitching patterns and thread counts, that these purses were fake.

All through the school, you would see the fake gold, Rolex watches. They also wore faux fur and suede, cheap costume jewelry, and fake leather and snakeskin. It was laughable at best!

Just to be clear, I have no qualms with anyone who has these items. Heck, they may like them. However, when you’re a bully and you buy these knock-offs to look like you’re rolling in money, you only look ridiculous. And you get no respect. Sorry.

In contrast, most targets of these bullies don’t feel like they need to have all that fake crap, yet they’re the ones bullied.

Targets, You’re Better Than That, and They Know It

You may still be wondering what the point to this story is. The point is that, if you’re a target, your bullies will most likely bully you over your virtues, not your faults. Also, they will project their fakery and insecurities onto you.

In short, people who are authentic and real- who are comfortable with being themselves, are those most likely to suffer bullying. It’s just a fact of this crazy world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It’s because you’re doing something right. And it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

Most posers bully others because they’re angry that they must work so hard at being fake and they’re jealous of anyone who doesn’t. Therefore, your self-esteem should soar when you realize this fundamental truth. Posers hate and bully authentic people because they are complete opposite of them.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A New Perspective on Betrayal

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Targets of Bullying are most susceptible to betrayal by those who masquerade as friends. The reason for this is that they long for friendship so much so that they attract abusers and users who will only exploit this longing to achieve their own ends. However, at different times in our lives, we’ve all experienced betrayal. Someone we thought was a friend did the unthinkable. And, when it happens, it’s like being kicked in the stomach.

It hurts much worse when you’re screwed over by a friend because you trusted this person. You may have even loved them. This is something you expect from an enemy, but never a friend. Therefore, when an enemy strikes against us, it’s much easier to deal with. However, when it’s someone we trusted and thought highly of, the pain is much worse. In fact, it can be devastating.

Therefore, once you’ve been betrayed, it can be hard to trust anyone else who comes into our lives, even those who may be sincere. When we meet new people thereafter, we proceed with caution and regard others with suspicion. This isn’t good either.

Why? Because, when we allow a past betrayal to cause us not to trust, we only push away those who may be sincere. We, in essence, give the creep who betrayed us power over our future relationships.

Sadly, I went through a phase during my twenties when I too was suspicious of everyone. I thought they all had ulterior motives and kept them at arm’s length. I let the fear of being hurt cause me to push others away and as a result, my relationships suffered.

Don’t Give The Person Who Betrayed You Power over Future Relationships

However, I’ve since realized that, with each person we meet and each new friend we make comes a degree of risk. Everything comes with a certain amount of risk and here’s no getting around it. And you either take the risk or you end up miserable and lonely.

Everything we do comes with risk, whether it’s going for a walk or driving to the supermarket. But you wouldn’t stop driving because of the chance of having an automobile accident. So, why would you refuse to meet and make friends because of the chance of being betrayed?

Again, life’s full of risks and you can’t allow fear to stop you from living. You must live life and you must live it to the fullest!

With Every New Person You Meet Comes a Degree of Risk

Therefore, I refuse to allow some lowlife from my past to cause distrust in humanity. Hell, no! I believe in giving the new people I meet a chance and not making them pay a debt they don’t owe. If they blow that chance, then that’s on them, and they would only reveal their true colors.

In closing, you must know that anytime you’re betrayed, the best you can do is to drop the person and move on to someone who’s deserving of your time. Understand that your time and you company are valuable. And you shouldn’t waste it with some chump who doesn’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. So, ditch and switch, baby!

But, whatever you do, don’t let betrayal cause you to distrust humanity and shut new people out! That’s a recipe for misery!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

You Don’t Lose Friends, You Lose Frauds

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When you’re a target of relentless bullying, losing so-called friends becomes the norm. Sadly, this is the reality for many who fall into this category.

Most targets of bullying suffer deprivation of human friendship and therefore, they have no sense of belonging. We humans are hardwired for socialization and connection. When bullies meticulously strip those things away, it can be devastating. After they’ve suffered this deprivation for so long, targets can become desperate for even the tiniest crumb of affection.

Neediness always invites abuse.

In life, there will be people who come into your life not to help you but to harm you. Not to love you but to leave you.

Understand that when bullies target you, they beat you down,  and render you sad, lonely, and worst of all, desperate! Add all this together and you have a stinking, toxic cocktail of vulnerable.

Realize that evil always attaches itself to those whom bullies have weakened and made most vulnerable. People smell desperation from a mile away and the target will repel those who are emotionally healthy and attract only the lowlifes whose only intentions are to use and abuse.

Predatory users love to catch you when you’re most vulnerable. When you are rendered powerless, you will draw in fake friends. They’ll be those whose only intentions are to use you until they get all they can out of you. Many will act as friends to hurt and humiliate you.

These people may use you for money or material things or they may simply use you for social benefits. Also, they may use you for the psychological payoff of taking domination of you. Whatever it is, know that they aren’t here for your benefit, they’re here for theirs.

So, when do these frauds show their true colors?

Many targets of bullying are shocked and dismayed when the monster finally shows its face. The target may say something totally innocent, but something the fake friends doesn’t like. Suddenly, the mask falls off and the poor target finds out the hard way that this person really isn’t a friend at all. The fake friend then turns their back and becomes an enemy. They may even bully the target like everyone else.

Here’s when they show their true colors:

1. When you stand up for yourself.

2. When you’re not afraid to be yourself.

3. When you speak your truth and stand on it.

4. When you let your opinions, beliefs, and convictions be known.

5. When you call them or someone they like out on their bullshit.

How do you recognize a true friend?

A true friend may not necessarily agree with you, but they’ll always respect your opinion. They will always accept that you’re a different person with your own set of values. And they’ll never turn their back on you or get hateful toward you for those differences.

True friends will allow and even encourage you to be yourself, speak your truth, and stand behind it. They wouldn’t want you to be fake for the sake of pleasing others.

Understand that if at any time, a person who claims to be your friend doesn’t allow you to be yourself. Or if that person doesn’t allow you to speak your mind, or show your emotions, that person is not a friend. Therefore, you should re-evaluate that friendship and give this person the old heave ho.

Know that you deserve better friends than them. That’s why it’s so important that you love yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go and move on. Because some people just aren’t worth your time. Always remember, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

1 Reason Having Enemies Is Better Than Having Frenemies

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Targets often pick “friends” who only tolerate them or those who wish them ill will because they’re often lonely and desperate. For so long, they have been wrongly alienated from others due to rumors and lies that bullies have spread about them to keep them from making friends.

Because the target is so hungry for a connection…any connection, he/she will befriend anyone…and I mean anyone! They are not selective with who they call “friend” and end up latching on to people who are not even worth knowing…predators, who only take advantage.

Also, young victims often assume that to be “cool,” they have to have a big circle of friends. This is not true.

With that being said, I want you to know that if you are a victim of bullying, you do not need a whole slew of people in your life to be happy nor to feel like or be a whole person. You only need your family and a few true friends. It’s safer this way. Wouldn’t you much rather have just a handful of true friends than to have an abundance of frenemies? I know I would.

In fact, you should prefer to have enemies over ‘frenemies’. Here’s why:

1. With an enemy, you know exactly where they stand without having to do any guesswork. However, you will always be the last to know with frenemies after being played for a sucker.

In other words, enemies won’t hide their contempt for you. Frenemies, on the other hand, will always hide their contempt for you behind the facade of friendship. And they do this to keep you close so they can find out your deepest secrets, your dreams, your goals, and your not-so-attractive characteristics.

And once they know all these intimate details about you, they will then weaponize it and use it against you.

If at any time you wonder about a person…if your intuition is telling you that something is “off,” put some distance between yourself and that individual and do it fast! Instinct is trying to warn you.

If your so-called friends are only tolerating you, stabbing you in the back, or sabotaging you in any way, it’s time to eighty-six of these leaches to your self-esteem. And the sooner you do, the better!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

6 Types of People You Should Avoid to Keep from Being Targeted

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One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. And understand that trusting your feelings is also important as some people are experts at hiding their true intentions and some things just aren’t so obvious.

It’s a good thing that we all have a sixth sense and are able to sense the vibes and energy others put out. That can also work in our favor.

Here are the types of bad eggs to be aware of and avoid at all costs:

1. The gossip – this person is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people and you’ll notice she does it all the time. Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know but have only heard about. They always seem to know everything about everyone- everything, short of their bathroom habits.

Know this! If they talk about others, they will talk about you too. Ditch these people…fast!

A closeup of a young beagle pup who is being nosey and doing some investigating. Shallow depth of field.

2. The big–nose – this person is virulently nosy and should be considered a twin sister to the gossip because most gossips tend to consistently have their face in everyone’s business. You will often find them asking others personal questions, eavesdropping on conversations, eyeing people intensely, butting in, and inserting their cheap two-cents where it doesn’t belong. Avoid these people at all costs!

 3. The two-face – An even closer sister of the gossip. These people pretend to be your friend but stab you in the back. The sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know. Again, if they’ll talk about somebody else…

Be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

Two words of advice. Steer clear!

4. The drama queen/king – This bad egg is a chronic complainer who always seems to have a problem for every solution. They are never happy and impossible to please. Moreover, this person also seems to have unending misfortune- bad break after bad break, back-to-back. Sure, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck at times. Perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is unknowingly bringing much of it on themselves somehow.

These people complain about everything and everybody. And they will complain about you too eventually. Bad moods have a way of spreading fast. So, if the person consistently dogs your mood, it’s best not to have anything to do with them. No one wants to be around a sad-sack nosebleed who whines constantly because, being around them can quickly become a drag.

Closeup portrait unhappy woman giving loser sign on forehead, looking at you with anger and hatred on face isolated on gray background.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of people. They’re the type who think everyone is out to get them or everyone has ulterior motives. And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll think you’re out to get them too and they will get you before you get them.

Again, steer clear!

5. The passive-aggressive person – this person is sneaky and should be avoided as well because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unless a rash of covert attacks- attacks you won’t even see coming until it’s too late. Also, if they have an agenda and you just happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

6. Anyone who puts out bad vibes. When we’re around some people we can sense that something is off about them, or we pick up on the vibes and energies they put out that doesn’t feel good or doesn’t feel quite right. Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie.

When it comes to bullying, many people, including me, have found out the hard way that an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Save yourself years of trial and error and the heartache that goes with it. Get rid of these people…pronto!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

3 Ingredients Bullies Use to Build Their Image of Perfection

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We all know that bullies are cowards who hide behind a façade. But what makes that façade? What are the exact ingredients that make up the bully’s façade?

Before I give you each ingredient in detail, let me tell you that bullies are like peacocks. They like to strut around and fan out their tails, showing us their prettiest colors. And they do this to collect admirers, followers, and allies. That’s exactly what the bully’s façade is used for- to draw people to them. And bullies are good at duping their cohorts into thinking that they’re perfect and can’t be touched.

Only their targets know what’s behind the facades- victims know the real people behind the masks. So, again, what exactly are the ingredients that bullies use to build their carefully crafted facades and promote those fake images?

Here are your answers:

1. Impeccable Attire. Most seasoned and well-practiced bullies dress in the best and latest fashions. These people love to be pleasing to the eyes because they understand that, sadly, most people are materialistic and beauty-obsessed, and everything is based on appearances. So, they wear the fanciest clothes, the trendiest hairstyles, the sexiest makeup, etc.

They show off these things to look the best and give the appearance that they’re rolling in money and that their life is perfect- all to impress others. Most of all, bullies also do it for one-upmanship!

And…here’s something else! Many of my bullies didn’t have a pot to pee in or a window to throw it out. Not that being poor makes a person bad, but!

Most bullies will go flat broke buying fancy clothes and sporty cars to pimp around town in just to keep up a fake persona. And they’ll be up to their eyeballs in debt. Many of these people are constantly having a hard time paying or failing to pay their bills.

They’re the types who will run to mommy and daddy for bailouts and handouts, yet they spend a fortune on clothes, hairstyles, manicures, pedicures, facials, cosmetic surgeries, you name it!

Because of this, I’ve known many workplace bullies who committed crimes such as theft, embezzlement, and forgery because they lived way beyond their means and got their butts in a crack they couldn’t get out of. And they got caught!

2. They put on a good show. Seasoned bullies are also the best showmen. They put on an act to gain admiration, support, or sympathy. They make grand gestures. They’re good at reading people and finding out their likes and dislikes and how they react to certain stimuli. They make themselves constantly hyperaware of the people and moods around them, then adapt to them.

You’ll often find these bullies standing in the very center of the rooms they’re in, and they’re the types who despise being outshone, outsmarted, or outdone.

3. They’re master wordsmiths. They use clichés, euphemisms, and loaded words to impress others with their speech. They also use big words to prove how smart they are when, in reality, they’re as incompetent as they come. They also tell people what they want to hear and say everything with conviction. This is why they’re such convincing liars and why they’re so good at making the target look like the bad guy.

But here’s something else you need to know:

Although seasoned bullies are very popular among people, they’re also hated and feared by rivals and enemies. And they do eventually get brought down. I’ve seen it happen many times.

Julius Caesar was one such example.

“Caesar had his Brutus and Charles I, his Cromwell…” – Patrick Henry.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Ways Bullying Sharpens Your BS Detector

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If you were ever a victim of bullying, it more than likely did the same for you. This is not to say that abuse of any form is a good thing because no one should ever be bullied. Ever! However, though painful and humiliating when it was happening, a bullied past has had its positive takeaways, one of which is my fine-tuned ability to smell bulls*** from a mile away.

Judging from my own experience and having heard stories of others who have endured the same, being a target of bullies has a way of giving you an almost psychic ability to see through people and detect true motives and intentions.


It allowed me to observe a large group of people, then spot and pick out the fakes and troublemakers at lightning speed and with accuracy. I don’t have to speak a word to anyone, only stand back and watch.

Just as a person who loses his sight experiences a much keener sense of hearing, a victim of bullying quickly grows the ability to read people like newspapers. Why? Out of sheer necessity. Many survivors can read body language like an FBI agent, deciphering the tiniest of micro-expressions. In fact, one can even pick up on the vibes others put out…especially negative ones.

When any certain skill is mandatory for your survival, nature gives you no choice but to quickly hon that skill and use it to near perfection.

I consider this sixth sense to be a gift. However, this gift came at a heavy price.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Never Let It Phase You When Someone Unfriends You on Social Media. Let the Trash Take Itself Out.

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Too many people, especially targets of bullying, get upset and take it personally when someone unfriends them or unfollows them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or any social media platform.

But why? Should that person’s approval or disapproval even matter?

Don’t get me wrong. No one likes to be rejected and having someone you thought was a friend delete you can hurt. So, I completely understand the pain and the wondering why the person or persons rejected you.

Maybe you said something on a post the other person didn’t like, so the person got their skivvies in a bunch and unfriended them. Or the other person lashed out at you in a comment and threatened and threatened to unfriend or block you. And now, you feel bad and want to apologize for “offending” the person.

But does it even warrant an apology? And should you feel devastated? Does this necessarily mean it’s the end of the world?

Ask yourself these questions:

1. Who is the other person to dictate what you say on your page?

2. Unless you’re intentionally trying to harm someone, what’s the big deal?

3. Who is this person to tell you what your opinions and beliefs should be?

4. And last and most important, how much does this person mean to you?

You wouldn’t let someone walk into your house and tell you how to arrange your furniture or tell you what you should or should not talk about. So, why would you allow them to tell you what you should type on your page?

Understand that just as your home and property that you own are your physical real estate, your social media is your online real estate, and you own it. Therefore, what you put on it is your business, unless you’ve using it to unprovoked and unjustly libel someone to cause them loss of business and reputation. Only then are you crossing a line.

As far as your personal opinions, beliefs, and convictions are concerned, these are yours to voice and they’re free. And when someone comes on your page and personally attacks you over one of your posts, technically, they’re in your house.

If anyone unfriends you because they don’t like what you have to say or how you say it, let them go because, obviously, anyone who doesn’t allow you to say what you feel and be yourself doesn’t and never did deserve your friendship in the first place. Also, they don’t deserve to have access to your page.

And if the person launches personal attacks against you by making nasty comments or threats, you can always delete them from your friends or followers list or block them completely.

You must realize that not everyone who sends you friend requests, who’s already on your friends’ list, or who follows you is your friend. Many of them are only there to check up on you and poke a nose in your business.

Several are there to see what you have to say and screenshot your posts so that they can show others as they pick it apart and take your words completely out of context in attempts to mar your good name. Others may be there to find out your marital status and see who your family members and friends are.

And once you realize this, you won’t feel nearly as bad the next time someone unfriends or unfollows you. In fact, you won’t even care. Good riddance to bad rubbish.

You should only value the approval and opinions of those you value the most- people who have proven that they value you in return- your family and closest friends.

Again, how much does this person mean to you?

Understand that if a person doesn’t mean a lot to you, neither will their opinions or judgements of you. And if a Facebook friend or Twitter or Instagram follower has a problem with one of your posts, either let them go, unfriend, or block them. It’s as simple as that.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Dirty Truths That Cliques Don’t Want You to Know

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People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others– and for no apparent reason. Cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others. Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.

A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes, but the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.

You get the point. Cliques exclude people for no logical reason, which only brings me to conclude that their members do it strictly to get psychological benefits- to be mean and to feel like they’re better than someone.

I’m not talking about clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject- The Math Club, The Music Club, etc. So, naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense.

However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them. They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.

I want you to realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.

Bullies belong to cliques, always. And they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves. They must make someone feel bad to make themselves feel good.

confident blonde teen standing in front of the clique

Sadly, they don’t realize that they only forfeit their chances of meeting people who could be interesting and be great additions to their existence.

If you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

Are those frauds even worth knowing?
Are they even on my level?
Would they benefit my life in any way?
Am I really missing anything?

Understand that, besides the ability to feel better than or superior to others, cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations, and living the same lackluster lives.

And if being a part of the clique is the only way its members can have any excitement in their lives, then wow! They are some miserable souls, and you should have pity on them.

Cliques only restrict their members from talking to anyone on the outside and take away the possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in their lives and could actually teach them something.

So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?

Some People Aren’t Worth Your Time

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Some people don’t come into your life to help you, they come to hinder you.

Some don’t come into your life to love you, they come to use you.

To some people, you’re not a person. You’re an opportunity.

They don’t love you for you, they love you for what you can do for them, and what they can take from you.

Some people aren’t loyal to you. They’re loyal to the benefits that come with you.

That’s why they disappear, no matter how many times you’ve appeared for them.

They never offer assistance, no matter how many times you’ve assisted them.

Stop standing behind people who don’t stand behind you.

Stop breaking your back for people who don’t have yours.

Stop busting your butt for people who don’t watch yours.

Some people aren’t blessings, they’re lessons.

Realize that these people aren’t worth a nanosecond of your time, and you must drop them like a bad habit. Only then will you feel better about yourself and attract more genuine and authentic people- people who uplift you and who love you for simply being beautiful, wonderful, awesome you!

Toxic Friendship

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Have you ever experienced a toxic friendship. If you’re old enough, you probably have. Here are the signs and symptoms of a bad friend that you must know.

 

Have you ever had so-called friends who seemed to turn hot and cold toward you? Who manipulated you into doing something you didn’t want to do? Fake friends who never had your back and always threw you under the bus whenever you were in trouble or in danger? Who treated you shabbily and didn’t seem to care how they hurt you? Whom you had to apologize to for things you weren’t guilty of just to keep the peace?

Have you ever had that particular friend who seemed possessive of you and wanted to keep you all to herself? Who would get angry when she saw you talking to another friend of yours, or worse, treat the other friend like a fifth wheel because she feels threatened by your friendship with the other girl?

 

Or…maybe it’s less obvious. Your so-called friend discourages you when you tell him what your plans for the future are. You tell your frenemy that you’re planning to cut a CD, or write a book and publish it. And he shoots you off your saddle by telling you in the most caring and concerned tone,

“I want to warn you before you get your hopes up because the last thing I want is to see you disappointed. Most singers and writers never get anywhere with their music and books. It’s hard to make it in that industry today.”

Although that may be true- it’s very difficult to make it in both the music and publishing industries, your friend should at least encourage you and be proud of you for having the guts to try. Because, who knows? You may be one of the lucky few who do make it. However, if you don’t even try, you won’t even have a chance of succeeding.

 

Maybe you have a dream of one day becoming an actor and your friends ridicule you for having that dream and tell you that you’ll only crash and burn.

Maybe you’ve made a great achievement or won an award and your friends only give you backhanded compliments, or trivialize your accomplishment.

Any time friends discourage you like that, you have to wonder if they’re only discouraging you because they’re afraid that you just might be successful. You also must ask yourself whether they believe in you or not, or if they’re secretly resentful of your success.

 

If you’re having these problems with those who are supposed to be your friends. My loving advice is to find new friends. You owe it to yourself. Realize that real friends make us feel better about ourselves not worse. Real friends enhance your life, they don’t cause pain or humiliation.

Toxic friends only suck the life out of you and leave you feeling worthless. You deserve friends who are ride or die. You deserve friends who are there for you no matter what kind of storms you may be going through. And you deserve friends who value you and don’t want to lose you.

 

But first, you must value yourself. And how you value yourself is to get rid of anyone who doesn’t treat you as well as you treat them. You may be alone for a spell, but your people will find you eventually and it will be worth it in the end. I guarantee it!

Drawing Your Enemies Out in the Open

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We think we know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to us, but many are not who they make us think they are. In life, there will be fakers and imposters, people who will infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends. These people will seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they can figure out everything about you- your soft spots, intentions, the most intimate details of your life, goals, and dreams. Then these people will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to draw all those rogues out? Even scarier, what if I told you that it won’t be an easy thing to do?

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief.

What do I mean by this? Here it is:

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks. This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person or persons.

You must realize that when people feel untouchable, they become brazen, and that is when you see their true nature. And to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. You’ll be ridiculed, people will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all. In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

This is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying. Nobody wants to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that.

It feels so much better (and safer) to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king. Also, no one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when we’re defeated, and– even when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world. But trust me, it is only, ONLY, when you’re at your lowest you find out who’s really in your corner, and, more importantly, was all along.

So, again, if you can give the illusion that you’ve been knocked on your tookus, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins and reveal themselves, and some will more than likely be people you’d never expect. Very few people realize who their enemies are until the fit hits the shan.

Any time you appear to be at your weakest and lowest, not only will your secret enemies reveal themselves, they’ll also be more emboldened to act against you. And when they do, they’ll do it openly! And the reason these people will be so open with their dirt is because they’ll mistake you for being powerless to fight back.

But realize that this is the only way for you to clear the dead weight and human clutter from your life. And you do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of before you can do this successfully, and if done right, you can ensure your safety and peace of mind in the future.

You can remove any obstacles to your progress and more easily achieve your goals. More importantly, you can ensure a better future for yourself.

So, in closing, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, do something to make yourself appear weak or down and out. Then see how they respond and what they do.

It might not feel good at the time, but you’ll thank yourself later. Even better, you’ll thank all the fakers for walking into your well-laid trap and showing you what lowlifes, they really are. And you’ll smile and hold your head high as you walk away and discard them into the trash heap of the many scumbags who underestimated you.