‘Want to know how to disarm a bully so that you can keep your personal power and maintain your dignity? As someone who has overcome bullies this way, I’m giving you the most powerful comebacks that every target of bullying must know about.
Verbal and emotional bullying poisons the minds and the lives of so many victims each year. But what if you could instantly come back with a quick, calm jab? One that throws your bullies off balance, while preserving your dignity, self-esteem, and personal power?
You’re going to learn how to disarm a bully with calm and smart, but ego-deflating comebacks that will leave you standing strong and your bullies, stunned.
Once you learn all these empowering comebacks, you will be ready for any insult, zinger, or smart remark any bullies hurl your way.
This post is all about how to disarm a bully so that you can buffer yourself from even subtle verbal attacks and battle bullying with confidence and poise.
How to disarm a bully
Lets face it, bullies are creative and inventive when it comes to hurling insults and subtle jibes. Moreover, they have a flare for delivering the most brutal and humiliating burns.
Worse even, bullies often do it in public to humiliate you in front of everyone and their mother. Therefore, they blindside you, leaving you shocked, speechless, mortified, and desperately trying to think up a good comeback.
Fortunately, here are a few comebacks you can you use to disarm these brutes and throw them into a tailspin.
1. “Someone must have really hurt you in your past.”
This shifts the blame where it belongs. Onto the bully. By implying that they are an angry, bitter person, you softly and subtly jab them with an insulting comeback without being too noticeable.
In that, you keep your power and make the bully appear weak in front of others while keeping your dignity and self-respect. This little zinger keeps you on the winning end while exposing the bully for the miserable individual they really are. YAY, YOU!
2. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”
This comeback allows you to apologize without accepting any blame. Moreover, it implies that the bully is the one with the problem and not you.
Therefore, use this comeback when a toxic person calls you a name or hurls an insult.
3. How to Disarm a Bully:
Come back with, “You must have a pretty miserable life.”
Like comeback number 1, this keeps the negative spotlight on the bully by implying that they have no control over their life. Moreover, it suggests that they are only trying to compensate for it by trying to control how you feel about yourself.
Ouch!
It saves your dignity while making the bully look like a weak little punk. Therefore, you win with this little dig because you preserve your personal power.
4. “You don’t have to behave like this to impress people.”
Yikes! With this comeback, you imply that the bully is trying to show out. And a show-off is an insecure person who isn’t happy just being themselves.
In other words, you call the bully a poser without actually using those words. You put the obnoxious person in their place while keeping your dignity.
You little wiseacre, you! Way to go!
5. “Does it make you feel bigger to act like a jerk or are you trying to impress people?”
With this comeback, you more directly call the bully out on their behavior. Moreover, you plant the seed in the minds of anyone around that they either don’t feel good about themselves unless they’re making others feel badly, or they’re trying to show off.
In that, you deflate the bully’s ego. And, if there’s an audience around, all the better for you and worse for the person trying to put you down.
6. How to Disarm a Bully:
“There are other ways of getting attention besides being a (jerk, asshole, etc.).”
Ouch! You’re directly saying that your instigator is trying to get attention. And attention-seekers are pathetic! All the while, you keep your power and your dignity.
Moreover, others will snicker at the bully when you deliver this little stinger.
7. “I wonder what happened to you that turned you into such a (jerk, heel, etc.).”
With this comeback, you imply that the bully is weak and powerless while empowering yourself.
8. “I’m sorry someone hurt you. But that person wasn’t me.”
Again, you make the bully look weak and powerless while making them look miserable and bitter too. Two insults in one!
Moreover, you make yourself look like the smarter person and maintaining your dignity.
9. How to disarm a bully:
“Someone must have really screwed you over in the past. Otherwise you wouldn’t be this angry, bitter person.”
As with the others, you shift blame back to the bully while keeping your dignity. Moreover, you do it by implying that the bully is bitter because someone made them feel powerless and insignificant in the past.
This is how you put bullies in their place without name-calling. You insult them with a softer touch. Good job!
10. How to disarm a bully:
“You’re not a very happy person, are you?”
This is the way to ensure that any blame stays where it belongs. On the bully! This comeback implies that the bully is a miserable soul that can only achieve happiness by insulting others.
Moreover, you make them look powerless over their own lives while maintaining control over your own reactions.
11. “I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.”
With this comeback, you achieve the same results as with number 10.
12. “I’m so sorry you feel so small.”
Ouch! You imply that the bully feels weak and that the only way they can feel strong is to make you feel bad about yourself. Great job!
13. How to disarm a bully:
“Relax. Take a break. You don’t have to work so hard to make people like you.”
Again, OUCH! With this little stinger, you imply that your bully is simping for approval. Therefore, you call them a simp without using the words while empowering yourself.
Note:
These comebacks also work best when done in public, in front of bystanders and witnesses. Therefore, have fun! Because delivering good comebacks to bullies in front of an audience is pretty doggone fun!
But most importantly, it helps you keep your power while prompting the bully to think twice before messing with you again.
How to disarm a bully with body language:
1. When a bully cuts their eyes at you
Return the gesture. Moreover, if she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear. Then, from then on, you’ll be her new source of power.
Therefore, always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose.”
You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge. However, if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.
Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without provocation, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you.
So, always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless, and not one she should mess with.
How to disarm a bully:
It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.
In short, it’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is around ninety percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!
If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice, and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.
Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be lacking in confidence, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless, and secure, practice open body language.
Again, stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away.
Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.
In other words, mirror any hostile body language you get from bullies to disarm them. Why? Because they won’t expect that response from you and it will shock them into not toying with you again.
This post was about how to disarm a bully so that you can maintain your power and keep your dignity.
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