Manipulators: 8 Ways They Manipulate

January 13, 2026December 13, 202561 Comments

Want to know about manipulators and how they operate? Here’s everything you need to know.

Manipulators are everywhere, at school, in the workplace, and even in the home. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about manipulators and the tactics they use to get what they want.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to spot them and protect yourself.

This post is all about manipulators so that you can recognize when you’re being taken for a sucker and drop them like they’re hot.

Manipulators

So, why do people resort to manipulation? They do it because they feel powerless inside. They don’t have the guts to come out and ask for what they want.

Moreover, they feel they can’t get their needs met any other way. Therefore, they must resort to indirect means and trickery to get their needs and wants met.

There are many ways people, especially bullies, manipulate. Here are all the tactics they use to get what they want from you.

1. Guilt Trips

Manipulators will make you feel guilty when you don’t let them have their way. And they will continue to violate your boundaries.

If you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. They will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.

Many times when I was young, others tried to constantly manipulate me. They told me that if I didn’t do what they wanted, I wasn’t a good person. Or they would imply that I wasn’t a team player.

They would accuse me of being selfish, stingy, or greedy. The other person would always say things that made me feel rotten.

Manipulators may also attempt to make you feel obligated somehow. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you now owe them.

For example, if a partner asks a girl for sex and she tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet, the partner will then say something to the tune of, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.

Let’s be clear, you don’t owe them anything, especially if it’s a date trying to get in your pants. The same goes if someone is trying to talk you into joining them in doing something illegal.

If something doesn’t feel right and you get the feeling you’re better off not going along, trust your instincts. And say no, then tell them to either beat it or take you home right then!

2. Tactics of Manipulators:

Pretending not to understand

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” We have all heard that line many times. Manipulators will claim they don’t understand. However, they know darn well what you’re saying, but don’t want to.

Do not fall for this! Either walk away, or tell the person, “Don’t give me that crap. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Then, walk away.

3. Being friendly only when they expect something in return

Every single one of us has dealt with those types- you know the ones. You never hear from these people. Moreover, they may even treat you coldly when they see you out and about.

Then, suddenly, magically, out of the blue, they call you up or start being friendly. Next, they ask you for a favor, some help with a problem they are dealing with. Or maybe they need a little cash.

And so, you help the person, and once they’ve gotten what they wanted, it’s back to true blue. They disappear or go back to treating you like trash.

You must see this person for who they are. And this creep is nothing but a user. They’re one of many manipulators who get over on you and many others.

Ditch this person because they will only drain you. You don’t need them in your life.

4. Tactics of Manipulators:

The silent treatment

This is one of the most common tactics manipulators use. And they do it to exploit the natural and extreme human need for social acceptance and community.

Let’s face it. We are all hardwired for social connection. Furthermore, it’s natural to go silent on someone when they’ve done us wrong.

However, the silent treatment can also be abused by manipulators when they don’t get their way, and can be damaging to the target when used against them.

If a bully or anyone else tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do, no law says that you have to do it. And how you protect yourself against this childish behavior is to not care about it. Instead, mirror it back to them.

In other words, when someone gives you the silent treatment, you give it back to them. Always remember that two can play that game!

5. Acting as if an agreement has been made when there’s been no agreement at all

This can be the most infuriating. These creeps will often go ahead with their plans before you’ve agreed. Or they’ll tell you something like, “Remember? We agreed to so-and-so last week,” knowing darn well you never agreed to anything.

Manipulators will try to put words in your mouth to strong-arm you into giving in. They won’t even stop to think about how you feel about it. Why? Because they don’t care.

Don’t go along with this. Give this person their walking papers. Pronto!

6. Tactics of Manipulators:

Predicting negative outcomes to your plans

Anytime you have plans, there will be those who will try to break your confidence. And they will do it by giving you words of discouragement.

For example, if you plan to record a CD, they might say things like, “I’m not trying to disappoint you, but chances are your CD will never chart.” Or “I hate to say this, but it’s no guarantee a producer will ever sign you to a record deal.”

Moreover, if you’re planning to publish a book, someone might ask you, “How do you know your book will even sell?” Or they might ask, “Do you really think you’re that good a writer? You need to be honest with yourself.”

They may also ridicule and belittle your goals and dreams. They do this to make your dreams seem foolish or something to be ashamed of. And sadly, these kinds of tactics work.

They’re even more effective when manipulators use them in front of an audience.

Trust me, I had people do the same to me, but it never discouraged me. It only ticked me off and made me double down on my plans to publish my books. And the best part is, I finally did it!

I advise you to do the same. If a shady character tries to discourage you from pursuing your plans, goals, and dreams, keep going.

Realize that the reason people discourage you is that they’re so afraid that you might succeed. In fact, the very possibility of you succeeding scares them to death!

Why? Because your success would force these jerks to take a long look at themselves and their own pathetic lives. Moreover, it just might put you ahead of them.

7. Tactics of Manipulators:

Distracting you from your goals

If jealous manipulators know that you’re striving toward a goal, they will deliberately try to distract you. Again, the reason they do this is that, deep down, they’re afraid that you might succeed. Then you will force them to compare your life to theirs.

Point blank, these people want so badly for you to fail. And they want you to stay on the same level as them. Why? So they won’t be left alone in the gutter, feeling so bad about themselves.

For example, people might be real sneaky about it. They may begin inviting you to parties or trying to get you drunk.

When they do this, they can claim that they only want you to have a good time instead of sitting at home studying all the time. Or they may be more overt and interrupt you while you’re working.

Or, they may play loud music while you’re trying to concentrate. Again, these people are scared to death of your success. And they will very slyly put out all the stops to distract your attention. So, beware.

How you combat this is by politely declining any invitations. Or, you can go to a place where you can work quietly and not be interrupted or distracted.

8. Tactics of Manipulators:

Isolating you.

Abusive partners

This is, perhaps, one of the worst manipulation tactics. And it happens often in abusive marriages and relationships.

The person may try to keep you away from caring family and friends. Therefore, you must see the reasons they do it.

One reason is to control the narrative. They want to make sure your loved ones don’t give you information that could put them in danger. For instance, your family members may see right through your partner.

As a result, they may tell you that they aren’t good for you and that you should drop them. Moreover, your partner may want to keep you all to themselves. However, you must understand that this isn’t normal and should be seen as a red flag.

Bullies

If your manipulators are bullies, they may turn your friends against you. They may also make it difficult for you to make new friends.

Understand that they do this to control your social life. If they can ruin your reputation and turn everyone against you, they can make you lonely. Moreover, they can cut off any support you might otherwise receive.

And it’s all to maintain power over your life.

Tactics of Manipulators:

in conclusion

These are only a few tactics manipulators use, but they are the most common. Other tactics include gaslighting, physical abuse, and fear.

Your best defense against them is knowledge. When you know their tactics and personalities, you can better predict what they’ll do. Then you can block their attempts to control you.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Here’s a brief summary of what we just covered:

Guilt trips
Pretending not to understand
Being friendly only when they expect something from you.
Giving you the silent treatment
Acting as if an agreement has been made when you haven’t agreed to anything.
Predicting negative outcomes to your plans.
Distracting you from your goals.
Isolating you.

This post was all about manipulators and the tactics they use so that you can use what you’ve learned to predict their next move and outflank them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

2. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

July 23, 2024August 16, 202414 Comments

Do you want to know how to spot moments when there’s no apology necessary? Here are the times to never say sorry that every target of bullying should know.

Apologizing for something that doesn’t warrant an apology sets you up for victimization. Why? Because bullies, gaslighters, and abusers will notice it and take full advantage. As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you the things you should never apologize for.

Therefore, you will learn when there’s no apology necessary by knowing exactly what you should never be sorry for.

Once you learn when there’s no apology necessary, you will be better able to counter any bullying or gaslighting that comes your way. Moreover, you will easily shake off any guilt trips your bullies try to put you on.

This post is all about discerning when there’s no apology necessary by learning what to never apologize for.

No apology necessary

Before we get into when not to apologize and what doesn’t warrant an apology, let’s talk about over-apologizing. Also, we’ll go over who is likely to apologize too much, why they do it, and the psychological effects they suffer from it.

Sadly, bullies and abusers program their victims and targets into thinking they should apologize for everything. In other words, evil people try to force their prey to say they’re sorry for things they need not be sorry for. Moreover, bullies coerce victims through threats and trickery.

Understand that the needless apologies targets of bullying give are survival mechanisms. They over apologize in hope that the bullies will be appeased and back off from harming them.

I completely understand and will never fault them for that. As a matter of fact, I’ve been exactly where they are. These victims are only doing what they feel they must do to protect themselves. So, again, this isn’t necessarily their fault.

However, their apologies, in most cases, don’t work and can make the bullying worse.

Also, if targets aren’t careful, they can unwittingly allow themselves to be programmed to over apologize even after the bullying threat has passed. In other words, over-apologizing will become a habit… an automatic response any time they perceive a threat.

As a result, this will only attract more bullies, more abusers, and more abuse.

Let’s delve deeper by describing what happens in the bullied brain. When others bully, abuse, and make you unnecessarily apologize, you develop new neural pathways after so long.

Moreover, these new neural pathways slowly rewire us to become subservient. And the lines between what we should and shouldn’t apologize for become blurred.

So, when is no apology necessary and what are the things you should never apologize for?

1.Your very existence.

You have just as much a right to be here as the next person. Never ever apologize for being in this world. However, understand that there will be those who feel that you don’t have a right to be here and everybody has those people.

Remember that The Lord put you here for a great purpose. You have your space to fill, and you have every right to carve it out.

2. Setting boundaries.

As human beings, we all have unalienable rights endowed by God, one of which is to stand up for those rights. If someone is violating you in any way, you must set boundaries.

You must call them out and make it absolutely clear to them that what they’re doing is wrong. Also, you must let these people know under no uncertain terms that you will not put up with their abuse.

Your boundaries are like an invisible force field that you place around yourself both physically, emotionally, and psychologically. The boundaries you set are what protect you from anyone wanting to disrupt your mental and physical well-being.

Remember that you have a right to personal safety. In other words, you have a right not to be harmed by anyone. You have a right to be drama-free and to live in peace.

Therefore, never be sorry for doing what you must do to protect your peace.

3. No apology necessary for Defending yourself and your loved ones.

This is a part of setting boundaries. If someone is harming you and your loved ones, you have every right to defend yourself and them.

A while back, media outlets were implying that if people of European descent defended themselves against home invasions, robberies, physical harm, and murder; it was wrong because they considered it “white privilege.”

Ahem! No! What this is, is a human right. I

It is a right to protect yourself and loved ones against any threat to yours and their safety. Furthermore, it is human survival and self-preservation.

Everyone has a right to protect themselves from harm, no matter their race or skin color! And you should never feel guilty for defending your right not to be harmed.

Never! You have a God-given right to save your own life! God gave you a brain. Use it!

4. Walking away from drama.

Bullies, abusers, gossips, backstabbers, and troublemakers are people who bring us unnecessary drama. Life’s too short for it.

Anyone who brings you drama doesn’t deserve to be around you. To break it down, they don’t deserve to be in your space, or in your life. Period.

However, when you put your hand up to your bullies, turn your back, and walk away, many of them will try to guilt you for that choice. But, see it for what it is.

The reason bullies guilt you or ridicule you when you walk away and refuse to refuse to their utter buffoonery is because they want to control you.

Again, it’s all about control. And how they control you is to manipulate you into a reaction. Don’t react.

Stay above their pettiness and stupidity. It preserves your peace and drives them up the wall.

Above all, know that you have every right to get up and walk away. Never allow anyone to make you feel guilty for that.

5. no apology necessary for Your successes and accomplishments.

When you’ve worked hard and finally achieved hit a milestone or accomplished a goal, you have a right to be happy about it. Also, anytime you score a win, you have a right to the rewards that come with it.

Moreover, you have a right to enjoy and celebrate the fruits of your labor and your successes.

Many times, jealous, insecure, and resentful people will attempt to make you feel guilty for being successful. Don’t fall for that garbage!

This is not to say that you should let it go to your head and be arrogant. And you shouldn’t let it affect how you treat others.

However, do be pleased about your success, whatever it may be. You have that right.

6. Being who you are.

You are beautifully and wonderfully unique. There is no one else in this world like you nor will there ever be.

Understand that the original is worth so much more than a copy. Don’t be peer-pressured into cheapening yourself by becoming just another copy of someone else

Realize that you will have those in your life, whether at school, work, in the community or in your family who will not like seeing you comfortable in your own skin. There will be people who will hate anyone who has the courage to be themselves and do it fearlessly.

Why? Because you have something they don’t have. And that is the courage to be yourself and the peace of knowing who you are and of loving and accepting yourself. You must realize that fake people become madly jealous when they notice these qualities in another person.

Therefore, let no one make you feel guilty for being who you are- an original!

7. Your happiness.

Happiness comes from within. You, as much as anyone else, deserve your joy. If you’ve done the inner work and found purpose in your life, let no one demand that you apologize for it.

All the while, be forewarned that there will be those who resent your happiness because they’re not happy themselves.

Moreover, they will accuse you of being too full of yourself. They will call you arrogant and overly-confident. Again, stay above these people because they are miserable and want you to be miserable with them.

8. Your lifestyle.

Unless you’re a criminal and your lifestyle is about causing others pain, never apologize for the way you live.

Ways of living that are unapologetic include well-earned affluence, poverty that you can do nothing about, being a single parent, etc. When it comes to these things, people really need to mind their own business.

Furthermore, you have a right to tell them just that if they have the audacity to judge your lifestyle.

To protect your self-esteem and confidence from bullies, abusers, you must be clear on what needs an apology and what doesn’t. Also, you must know who you are and what you will not accept or tolerate from other people.

With this knowledge, you have a powerful weapon with which to preserve your self-esteem and, thus, your personal power and your life.

this post was all about when to decide when there’s no apology necessary to help you raise your self-esteem, Feel better about yourself, and either preserve or reclaim your personal power.