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how does bullying affect the victims friendships in school

How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

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How does bullying affect the victim’s friendships? It’s a question that needs answering in great detail.

how does bullying affect the victims friendships

Bullying not only impacts the victim’s health, but also their friendships and social life.

In this post, you will have the exact answers to the question, “How does bullying affect the victim’s friendships?” Moreover, we will go over all the impacts in detail, discussing the hows and why’s of it.

Once you learn these social ramifications, you will be more motivated to help your bullied loved one. Or, if you’re the victim, you will be compelled to take powerful steps to protect yourself.

This post gives all the answers to the burning question, “How does bullying affect the victim’s friendships?” Moreover, we discuss how you can reverse the social damages bullying causes you if you’re a victim.

How does bullying affect the victim’s relationships?

1. Your Friends May Endure Social Pressure

They may be afraid that your bullies may bully them too.

Your friends may endure social pressure to turn on you. Understand that bullies go after your friends to make them afraid of being seen with you. Why? Because your bullies’ intentions is to isolate you from everyone else.

No one wants to be bullied, and that includes your friends. Therefore, when your bullies bully them too, you then become a liability to them. And once they see you as the cause to their social suffering and a threat to their social position, it’s not a question of if but when they turn on you.

“But what would the bullies have to gain by isolating me?” You may ask.

By isolating you, they make  you more vulnerable to their abuse. ‘You see? Having friends means having support. In other words, friends are a line of defense and bullies know this.

Therefore, they manipulate your friends to turn them against you to strip you of any support (or defenses) you may have.

They do this because, without friends to support and defend you, your bullies can bully you freely and without fear of anyone retaliating or holding them accountable.

In other words, when there isn’t the possibility of anyone helping you, bullies have full and complete carte blanche to attack you anytime they feel like it.

2. How does bullying affect the victim’s friendships?

Your Friends May be Tempted by the Prospect of Social Status.

It’s human nature to want social status. We all want it. However, decent people know that it isn’t the end all be all.

With that said, your friends may decide that they want to climb the social ladder more than they want to continue associating with you. Therefore, they cease contact with you.

But, realize that these people never were your friends. If they were, they never wouldn’t dropped you in the first place.

You don’t lose friends, you lose frauds.

3. Your Friends Allow Your Bullies to Use Them to Get Information on You.

First, let me say this. If your friends allow your bullies to use them to get personal information and deep secrets about you and your life, then they aren’t friends at all. What they are, is a bunch of two-faced sellouts!

Additionally, these types of individuals are than enemies because, with enemies, you know exactly where you stand. Therefore, you know it’s best to keep your distance from them. In other words, you know to keep these people out of your life.

Not so with traitors. A traitor will be sneaky, and they’ll make it a point to stick close to you so that they can continue to get juicy information about your life, with which to report back to your bullies.

So, what are ways bullies use your so-called friends to bait you?

1. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

Your Bullies Have Your Friends ask you personal questions. 

Your (fake)friends won’t seem nosy when they ask you. They’ll come under the pretense of deep concern for your well-being. They’ll have you fooled, thinking they really care about you when they’re only trying to gather your private details.

2. They have them stick extra close to you.

Your so-called friends will watch you closely and scrutinize everything you say and do. Also, they’ll try to find out who you associate with besides them.

These people will want to know who your family members are, where you live, everything. Therefore, beware when they seem to latch onto you like a tick to a dog.

3. They have them go through your belongings when you aren’t around.

Oh, yes! Your fake friends will go through your purse. Moreover, they’ll go through your notebook to see what you’re writing in it, and they’ll snoop through your email.

For example, two of your friends are visiting you at home. You’re all sitting in your living room and having coffee. You suddenly have to go to the bathroom and you excuse yourself, telling them you’ll be right back.

Then, one of them gets up and noses through your mail while the other keeps an eye out for you.

Another example would be that they may even swing by the night before trash pick-up day and grab your trash after you set it out by the curb. They will then take it somewhere safe and snoop through it.

4. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?

Your bullies have your friends hawk your social media profiles and pages.

Sadly, many people post things on social media they really shouldn’t. Or they post things that are too easily taken out of context.

For example, in the early days of Facebook, I’ll admit that I posted a complaint from time to time. These were posts about bad service, idiot drivers, and ignorant people (without name-dropping, of course).

Although I didn’t post anything personal, it still wasn’t good policy. Understand that these are posts that can very easily be taken out of context, so it’s probably better to keep any complaints private.

Why are your Friends the first people bullies approach?

It’s no secret that many bullies are brazen. Therefore, they’ll have the audacity to go to your friends to get secrets about you because they don’t fear that your friends will tell them to piss off.

And in most cases they won’t.

It’s especially painful when those you thought were friends suddenly go turncoat. In other words, it’s not the bullies who hurt you the most. It’s the betrayal from friends and the silence of bystanders.

Therefore, understand that during a smear campaign, your friends will be at the top of your bullies’ list of people they wish to win over to their side.

Here’s why.

1. How does bullying affect the victim’s friendships?

Bullies know that if they can get the people you care about and trust the most to turn against you, they’ll be able to strike a devastating blow!

Again, having bullies, total strangers and people you don’t care much about turn against you is painful.. However, it’s much easier to take than if it’s someone you care about.

Nothing hurts worse than having the people you love most and think highly of turn against you.

2. By persuading your most cherished friends to turn against you, your bullies take away much needed social support.

In other words, if they can isolate you from your friends, bullies know that they can make you more vulnerable. Moreover, they know that you’re likely to become stressed and your performance and activities will take a hit.

This will make it much easier for them to bully you.

3. Your friends Likely know the most intimate details about you and your life.

Bullies know that if they can get your friends to turn against you, then they will have complete access to the most private knowledge about you.

In other words, your friends will most likely know about your deepest, darkest secrets and weaknesses.

Moreover, they may also be privy to about any future plans you’re making. and anything you may have said about the bullies.

Bullies can easily exploit, even weaponize these kinds of information.

4. How Does Bullying Affect The Victim’s Friendships.

there’s a strong chance that if Friends turn against you, bystanders will too.

People will figure that if your own friends turn against you, then damn! You must really have it coming! You must have done something pretty lowdown and dirty!

They may wonder if you slept with your best friend’s boyfriend or spouse. Maybe you stole from a friend. Maybe you emotionally abused their child.

When others see that your own friends have turned against you, all these above possible reasons immediately come to mind. That’s the worst thing about being hung out to dry.

5. associating with you may cause your friends’ positions on the social scene to weaken. Therefore, they put themselves at risk of becoming the next target.

Why, because people consider those who are bullied as unattractive and therefore, go out of their way to avoid forming friendships with them.

So, if your own friends turn against you, why would anyone else be fool enough to have anything to do with you?

Here’s what you should do:

Whatever you do, don’t be nice about it!

If nothing else, realize this. Anyone who claims to be a friend and stabs you in the back has no place in your life. Moreover, if you find out they’ve betrayed you, it’s time to ditch and switch to new friends.

Also, it’s best to make friends outside the bullying environment. Then you can show these new friends the awesome you that you can’t show in the environment you’re bullied in.

When you drop these people, you might be friendless for a while. However, think about this.

Did you have any friends in the first place while your fake friends were betraying you? Wouldn’t you rather be alone than to deal with fakers who only pretend to be for you when they’re really siding with the enemy?

Therefore, ditch your fake friends, then wait for better people to find you. I promise you that they will eventually.

This post provided all the answers to the question, “How does Bullying affect the victim’s friendships” so that you’ll know what to expect out of many of your friends when bullies bully you and what you can do to retake your self-respect.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

11 Nonverbal Secrets Instantly Wins Friends

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Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. In other words, body language (actions) speaks louder than words ever will. All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer. Even worse, people will see it through your everyday body language, and you won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets only attract more bullies and bullying because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse. The target’s body language will transform from confident to diffident– meaning lack of confidence. This is the reason many targets have few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because, if others see insecurity in you, you won’t attract healthy people into your life. You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? Because, as a matter of human nature, healthy and secure people stay away from people who give off signals of low self-esteem and depression. On the other hand, you’ll only attract predators- people who fake a friendship to either exert control over your life or to get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as lack of eye contact, looking down, fake smiles or no smile at all, make the target appear unapproachable. It’s the same with closed body language, such as crossing the arms over the chest.

charming older woman

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not the target’s fault. It is just something that happens after a person has endured abuse for so long. However, confident body language is something that well-meaning people in your life can teach you. Even better, you can even teach yourself and practice it when you read the right books that teach it. And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life.

Here are 11 powerful tricks you can use to instantly win friends:
  1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at people shows that you approve of them and are open to friendships. It also conveys confidence and confidence is where it’s at! However, people can easily spot a fake smile and it will only turn them off. A fake smile repels people, or worse, invites more bullying. Fake smiles only hurt more than help.

charming man

  1. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you genuinely respect and are interested in them. People love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye. Just don’t overdo it or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

  1. Stand up straight.

Bad posture, such as slouching and hunching only conveys insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose. Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand- feet shoulder-width apart and with your hands on your hips with your thumbs on the front of your waist. This also signals confidence. Also, it can keep bullies away because when a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with the person. Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power! And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power!

  1. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simpler, open body language means keeping facing the people you talk to and keeping your whole body turned toward them. When you do this, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

  1. Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space. Make sure to do this properly and you will build rapport with the people you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

  1. Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement. Nodding is a very powerful form of communication and often gets amazing social results!

charming kid

  1. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy and warmness.

  1. Relax!

If you want people to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense. It weirds people out big time! Therefore, always relax around others. Having body language that is relaxed conveys that you’re comfortable and confident with yourself and in turn, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

  1. Put away your phone.

There is nothing worse than talking to someone who has their face in their phone, texting. It conveys that they’re more interested in what’s on their screen and not what you have to say. It is downright rude and disrespectful. So, lose the phone when you’re in conversation with someone. It’s just good social etiquette.

charming woman

  1. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone and your toes aren’t pointed toward them, it only conveys that you don’t want to be with the person and want to go elsewhere. Now, some people don’t think about the feet but those who are the most aware of body language cues will. Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to. It signals that you want to move toward them, that you’re happy to see them and speak with them.

  1. Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your body language doesn’t match, you will come off to others as fake and insincere. As a result, they won’t take you seriously and will be repelled by you. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cue are in line with your verbal ones.

When you begin practicing these techniques, they may feel weird at first. However, don’t quit. Practice them every day until they become second nature. Then, watch the magic unfold as people instantly become warmer and more receptive toward you. And you will make terrific friends in the process.

Just as it’s important to know what body language to use to make friends, it’s also equally as important to know what body language to avoid.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why You Should Befriend Other Targets

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The old saying that “birds of a feather flock together” rings true. The Law of Similarity dictates that in order to find good friendships, you must establish common ground. Understand that those who share the same activities, experiences, perspectives, and attitudes have a high probability of developing close friendships. Humans are naturally drawn to those who share mutual interests.

How targets make friends is to find like-minded people to bond with. And nothing bonds humans like a shared contempt for the same things, people, and groups. Therefore, developing connections with other targets is not only necessary but wise.

When a target finds others who have been bullied by the same bullies, it not only confirms that he isn’t alone in the fight, but it’s a juicy opportunity to make friends and allies. And these new friends just might back the target up the next time her bullies come calling.

Commonalities Attract

Also, it reinforces the fact that the target is not a bad person. It says that, despite what bullies and most others have told him, he can make friends. It sends the message that the target is a likeable person and automatically discredits the bullies. Therefore, having friends who share the same experiences is a real self-esteem booster.

When targets unite, they share sameness and, therefore, are least likely to face conflict with one another. Each target in the group finally feels understood.

Case in point, sameness will always attract people to one another. People tend to become friends with those most like themselves. When targets begin to associate with and create ties with others whom the bullies have targeted, they immediately establish common ground. It is this common ground which quickly develops rapport.

A “Target Rich Environment”

If you’re a target of bullying and you find it difficult to make friends, you can create a “target rich environment” for  yourself by staying among other targets.

I cannot say this enough- we develop the best friendships with those who resemble us the most. We’re attracted to people with the same desires and pursuits. If you can find common ground, developing a positive relationship will be a cake walk!

So, how do you know that there’s common ground before you even talk to the person?

You start by noticing how the person dresses. Are there any similarities? If the person is wearing a tee shirt with the logo or picture of a rock group you like, there’s shared interest. And if they only have a slight interest in the group, you, at least, share a love of rock and roll music.

What a person is doing also gives clues. Also, their posture also has many tells in it. For example, if a person is sitting at the lunch table alone, slumps in their chair, and doesn’t interact much with others, you know that they have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem comes from bullying and abuse. So, don’t be afraid to go over and talk to them. You just might be the friend they’re looking for!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

To Understand and To Be Understood

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It’s one of the greatest human needs and that need isn’t being met when a target is bullied. Any time someone bullies you, your best weapon is to understand- understand the truth of why your bullies bully you, the tactics they use, and the benefits they get out of it.

At the same time, you need to be understood- to have your voice heard. You need to have people who’ve been where you are now. And you must have them surround you and know what you’re going through from their own experiences, so that they will be able to validate your feelings and emotions.

Here’s a truth you need to realize and remember: You will never come to any understanding with a bully. Never! And it’s simply because bullies are abusers and there’s no understanding or reasoning with an abuser.

Understand that bullies will only beat you down with brutal power-plays, manipulations, and gaslighting. They will only blame you for the battering of your own spirit. So, never try to get bullies to “understand” because those attempts will only be futile. Instead, avoid bullies at all costs!

Realize that if you go on trying to explain yourself and get bullies and abusers to understand you, the more they will abuse you by blaming you for their deplorable behavior.

Targets of bullying gradually lose their self-esteem and confidence. It happens so slowly you won’t realize it’s happening. And if you do, you won’t be aware of what’s causing it. Again, avoid your bullies altogether and find ways to keep them away from you.

I’m not saying you have to hide from them, but you definitely should avoid them. There is a difference.

You can do this by avoid any places the bullies may gather. Also, befriend other targets and establish your own little group. The bullies are less likely to come calling if they see that you have friends surrounding you.

Realize that other people who have been targets of bullying will understand your pain and they will be more likely to listen when you need to talk. They will be more likely to support you and they will more than likely have your back when your bullies come looking for trouble.

To be understood requires surrounding yourself with not only like-minded people, but people who have been where you are now. When you find others who have had the same experiences, you’re more likely to get understanding and, even better, support.