If bullies have destroyed your reputation, ‘want to know how to make friends when you have none? Here are all the ways to do so that I and many others swear by.
To feel better about themselves and keep from feeling powerless, too many targets of bullying resort to bullying others who are even more vulnerable than them. And it’s not right.
In many cases, targets of bullying who bully, or “bully-victims” bully not because they want to. They bully because they feel like they have no choice.
In bullying, bullies unwittingly teach their targets that to degrade and disparage another person is what it takes to stay on top or off the bottom! And let’s face it, nobody wants to be on the bottom.
One of the uglier characteristics of humans is that everyone wants to be better than somebody! The attitude is that if you’re not above somebody, anybody, then who are you better than?
The sad reality is that people equate not being better than someone, even if it’s only one person, with being powerless. It shouldn’t be that way, but it is.
But just the same, they do it because they don’t believe there’s any other way to stay out of the basement and boost their self-esteem.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to make friends when you have none. This goes for those who’ve been bullied and defamed so badly that what friends they once had turned against them.
Once you learn all about these tips and tricks, you will begin to create a good social life. Also, you’ll know what it takes to be a friend, not only make a friend.
This post is all about how to make friends when you have none so that you can be a good friend to others and not only enrich your life, but the lives of others.
How to make friends when you have none
What if I told you that there was a better way to create a good social life? What if I told you that you could feel better about yourself without bullying other targets to make yourself feel better.
Also, what if I told you that there were better ways of eliminating the low self-esteem that your bullies have instilled in you for so long?
How you do it is to be a friend.
In other words, instead of targeting more vulnerable people, how about connecting with and befriending them? Because they get bullied just like you. They may get bullied worse than you. You never know.
And let’s face it. No one person is an island. There’s no way you can have even a little bit of power by yourself.
We’d like to think that we can survive and do anything in this world just fine by ourselves. Moreover, we’d also like to think that we don’t have to depend on anyone, but that’s not reality.
The reality is that power means relationships. And we all need people as loved ones, friends, and allies.
Therefore, make friends with those who are weaker than you! Stick up for those people and be their buddy instead of their bully. Make them feel good about themselves and encourage them to stick up for themselves and to realize that they too matter in this world.
How to make friends when you have none:
1. Befriend others who are bullied or have no friends.
Think about it. These people need a friend and so do you. Therefore, befriending them would be a win-win situation!
Moreover, if bullies bully them too and they aren’t as strong as you are, they may need you to have their backs. They also need someone they can trust and look up to.
You must might bolster their confidence and they’ll in turn, not only have your back too, but they’ll also be more emboldened to stand up for themselves. Why? Because you may help them to raise their confidence level.
These people will need you and depend on you, and that’s what you want.
Therefore, instead of seeking approval from your bullies, befriend other victims they may have harmed. Why?
Because you’ll all have common ground and that’s what’s needed to make friends.
Never seek approval from your bullies or their followers. NEVER!
Why? Because you never want to build a power base with people more powerful than you are. They’ll only eat you alive!
Moreover, if they’re stronger than you, how can you expect them to depend on you? To make friends in your situation, you must look for people who will count on you. And they have to in some way, shape, or form, need you.
Therefore, the “weaker” victims will be the ones who must have you around to ensure their safety. Moreover, they’ll need you to validate their importance and their deserving of love and friendship.
They will need a friend, protector, and advocate. And you can be those things to them!
It’s much smarter to seek out and make friends with the “weaker” targets and create a relationship on their dependency on you. Because when you do, you become their pillar of strength. You become their voice and their backbone.
2. How to make friends when you have none:
Leverage their needs, your needs, and what you can do for people who are just as friendless as you.
Here’s the rub.
Because the other victims are more vulnerable, they’ll know that to turn their backs on you would be to do so at their own risk. Throwing you under the bus would only bring them hardship and pain.
In a friendship like this, you will have the power. Therefore, don’t use that power to bully them because you’re being bullied and want to feel powerful.
Instead, use it to promote solidarity with them, uplift them, and have their backs! Use your power to make them feel good about themselves and to help them build their confidence. I guarantee you that you’ll make life-long friends of them if you do it this way.
And if ever you need something done, you won’t have to use force to get your new, less powerful friends to help you out. They’ll be more than happy to oblige because you’ll be their fearless leader.
Moreover, you’ll be their protector, and the last thing they’ll want is to lose you. They’ll know that without you, they’d be in a pickle.
The beauty of this is that you and all the other victims will become a group. You’ll band together and become as one. And you’ll gain strength from your numbers. And, who knows, your new friends may have knowledge about the bullies that you can use to your advantage.
I promise you that things will only get better once you put this into action. And the only things you’ll have to lose are your low self-esteem and your feelings of powerlessness!
3. How to make friends when you have none:
Meet new people outside of the school or workplace.
How you do this is to join a club or take a course. However, if you do these things, make sure the club or course is in something you’re genuinely interested in. Don’t only do it to make friends because it won’t work out if you do.
The trick here is to find people who share the same interests that you have. Therefore, if you’re into music, join a music club. Or, if you enjoy math, take a math course.
This is how you establish common ground with others. Only then will you make friends, and possibly life-long ones.
4. Don’t be afraid.
In other words, don’t shy away from the possibility of rejection. Remember that bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it’s staring fear in the face and doing it anyway.
So, put yourself out there. Step out of your comfort zone and take risks.
5. Seek to Be A friend and not only to make one.
Zig Ziglar once quoted,
“If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”
Therefore, make friends for the right reasons and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results! You must be a friend before you can make one.
6. How to make Friends When You Have None:
Be yourself.
This is, perhaps, the most important rule of all. I’ve found that being yourself naturally and effortlessly weeds out the fakes and the snakes and attracts the true friends into your life.
Therefore, don’t try to impress anyone by being someone you aren’t. Be yourself, completely and you’ll attract the friends who are the right people for you.
7. Find people You Share something in common with.
Establishing common ground is most important because people usually befriend those they have the most in common with.
This is just human nature. Therefore, use it to your advantage!
8. Watch out for snakes.
Toxic people are everywhere! Moreover, they’re always on the hunt for someone to use and abuse. Therefore, always be observant. Pay attention to body language.
And if you have a feeling in your gut that something is off about a person, listen carefully! Because your gut or your intuition, whatever you wish to call it, is never wrong!
This post was about how to make friends when you have none so that you can establish a social life more easily while, at the same time, avoid predatory people.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You
2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence
3. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying
