Tag: fake superiority

How Confidence and Egotism Differ

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The confusion between the two is quite common. However, there are ways to distinguish between confidence and egotism. Before I go further, let me start by saying that we all have egos. However, the trick is in how we handle them.

1. Confidence is quiet. Egotism is loud and boastful.

2. The former doesn’t have to boast because it already knows its value. The latter, on the other hand, must constantly remind others of its value.

3. Confidence is teachable. Whereas, egotism is not. It kills the capacity to learn because it thinks it already knows everything there is to know.

4. Confidence leads to growth. Egotism can only lead to stagnation and eventual destruction.

Two Opposites

Princess Diana, during her latter years, was the perfect example of confidence. Once she saw her worth, she traveled the world, helping the less fortunate.

Hitler, on the other hand, was an example of egotism. His overinflated ego led to the destruction and loss of millions of innocent lives. Also, it produced intense hatred for an entire people.

As we know, bullies aren’t confident, they’re egotistical. Again, we all have egos. However, not all of us have egotism. Egotism is bad because it often stems from negative feelings of anger, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, and fear. And it’s the reason bullies often target those based on the lower role they play and their stations in life.

Confidence Promotes Equality while Egotism Promotes Division

Confident people treat the janitor or the security guard with the same respect they would give the company president or the CEO. In contrast, egotistical bullies only will only mistreat the janitor and security guard while sucking up to the president and the CEO.

A confident person gives kindness and respect to those who can do nothing for him. He treats everyone equally regardless of difference or position. Ego-driven bullies only abuse those he knows can’t benefit him somehow.

Those who are confident have selfless motives and doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re a decent and moral person. However, those who are ego-driven bullies are self-serving. With these types of personalities, it’s all about fame and name.

Putting ego aside means respecting those who society deems beneath you and giving them the same human value. It means making an effort to understand those who are different from you and doing your best to help them somehow.

Egotism is when ego overrides humanity and places it in grave danger. Confidence, on the other hand, helps and saves humanity.

Confidence Saves Humanity, Egotism Destroys it.

Sadly, I’ve worked with people who were great people to get along with. But once they got that coveted promotion, they became people I no longer recognized.

Bullies often spend money beyond their means to buy expensive clothes and cars, trying to look like they’re better off than everyone else. This is a sure hallmark of egotism. Unfortunately, they get deep in debt and sometimes resort to thievery to get out of it. As a result, they end up in legal trouble, which is an example of the self-destruction that egotism can bring.

Therefore, be aware of these signs in other people. And be confident, but know where the line between confidence and egotism lies.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Behind The Bully’s Fake Superiority

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Instead of putting in the work to improve and better themselves, bullies would rather tear down and destroy another person to look bigger and better than what they are. Understand that bullies never build up, they tear down. They do not create or restore, they destroy. And they don’t add to anything, but they subtract from everything.

Understand that bullies are losers, and they cannot survive in a meritocracy. They have no redeeming characteristics and no real personalities nor qualities. So, in being the weak and pathetic losers they really are, bullies tap into the only power they have left- their last resort, and they make a last-ditch effort to preserve their fragile egos.

They select a person to target and say something mean and hurtful. If that person is you, you’re naturally shocked at first and you feel off balance. Next the shock wears off and you begin feeling the pain in your heart.

If you’re a target, chances are really good that you’re a decent person and you’ve been raised with morals. You’ve been taught to treat others as you yourself would want others to treat you. And like any good person, you won’t be able to understand how or why people would be so mean-spirited and vicious to another person.

After having this happen to you for so long, you wonder, “Was it something I said? Something I did that rubbed them the wrong way?”

You then begin developing negative thoughts because others have made you feel completely worthless and useless. But!

Realize that this is a trap and if you’re not careful, you will fall into the habit of demeaning yourself. Instead, make a promise to yourself and keep it. Promise yourself that you will no longer let someone else define you. Promise yourself that you will no longer let another person decide your worth, that you will never allow other people to decide your successes or failures, or what your capabilities are.

It’ll be hard at first. But make a conscious, intentional, and concerted effort not to value the opinions and insults of a bully. Understand that you have no control over other peoples’ actions, behaviors, nor opinions. If they have a problem with you, it’s their problem, not yours.

Many of my classmates would come out and tell me, “You know what? I’ve got a real problem with you…” They had a problem alright, that much was true. But their problem wasn’t my problem.

Understand that people only look down on you to make themselves look and feel superior, and to bring you down to their level. Realize that people look down on you to conceal their own jealousy, emotional/mental instability, low self-esteem, and insecurity.

Here’s another reason people look down on you. Because it works for them- makes them feel powerful. It works because you give them validity by placing too much value to their opinions. If you didn’t, why else would you give their childish behavior and petty insults any energy at all?

You owe it to yourself to learn and see what’s behind the mask of superiority. You must see through the facades that bullies put up. And once you do, it will no longer bother you when people look down on you. In fact, you might even see the hilarity in your bullies’ collective fakery, and give them a scoff and a horselaugh as you walk past them. Now that’s the way to take the wind right out of their sails!

Then allow yourself a few chuckles, because, at the end of the day, these people really are quite entertaining- and pathetic.

With knowledge comes empowerment!