Tag: dreams

It’s Always Better to Keep Your Plans Secret!

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This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying. Many people trumpet their goals and dreams. They announce their plans without realizing what ramifications it can bring. And, if you’re a target of bullying, all the more reason why you should keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself. Because you have more of a reason to work quietly.

Understand that any time you let your objectives and agendas be known, you place yourself at risk of being sabotaged and of having your plans derailed by a bully who is just waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own person failures and shortcomings. And, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior- you-  to reach success and overshadow them.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win, and when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

Why, because it’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory- not your bullies and they know it! You force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments. This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight!

Understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration and when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you, make all sorts of accusations, even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back in the shade. But see through it and stay above it. They only do it because their power has been threatened and when a bully is threatened with losing their power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

Therefore, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities. So, how do you handle this?

You handle it by simply staying above it- by not reacting to the bullies’ foolishness. You deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices. Put simpler, just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!

motivational inspirational

Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

But, again, in the meantime, work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals and successes. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers and the less roadblocks you will run into along the way. And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it, and with it, give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why You Must Take Risks

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Too many targets of bullying grow too paralyzed with fear to make a move and take control of their destinies. Their bullies and abusers have reprogrammed them to believe that, no matter how hard they try, they’ll always be losers and failures. They’ ve been trained to believe that, to be accepted, they must always march in lockstep with the rest of society- to tread lightly and never rock the boat . And if they didn’t walk carefully, what was in store for them would be emotional- even physical brutality.

I understand because I’ve been there. I know the fear all too well.

In short, targets are taught to take the path of least resistance and stay in their comfort zones. But do you really live your best life when you choose this path instead of your own?

To see positive change in your life, you must be willing to take risks. Whether you’re working on achieving a short-term goal or chasing a dream you’ve had your whole life or whether you want to rid your life of bullies/abusers and surround yourself with better people, risk is not only expected but required.

To get something you never had, you will need to do things you’ve never done and that can be scary. To create something beautiful into your life means you will have to push through the birth pains first, it’s the only choice you have.

I took a risk when I decided to stand up to abuse. I also took risks when I wrote and published my first book, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying.”

I knew it would be risky and I was prepared for it.

In doing both, I not only faced the possibility of failure, but I offended and made many people angry. I lost a lot of people I thought were friends. But that’s alright because I look back now and realize that I really didn’t lose friends at all.

What I did was weed out the people I thought were friends- the fakers, posers, and imposters who only pretended to be but were never friends in the first place.

I also knew that the book would be painful to write because it required that I relive the torment. I chose to push through the pain. Understand that if you ever want to achieve something great, you must step out of your comfort zone and face fear head on.

Life is a gamble. Everything is chance. You can’t win the game if you don’t roll the dice.

And if you really stop and think about it, we roll the dice when we do the most basic things in life – when we get out of bed in the morning, or walk out of our houses, or get in the car to go to work every day. In life, risk is unavoidable. So why not take bigger risks and go after what you want?

Wouldn’t you much rather face the fear of risk now than live with the pain of regret later? I sure would.

After the book was published and a few classmates read it, oh boy! I got quite a few nasty, hateful, and threatening messages and yes, some of it was pretty scary. But I chose to stand strong and continue speaking my truth.

My goal wasn’t only to become a published author, but to use what I endured years ago to help others who are going through it now. I wanted to be the person that I didn’t have, and to give other targets the support I was denied.

But before I could do that, I had to be willing to take risks and to endure some pain along the way. It meant risking my time, my comfort, and my associations. I had to be willing to remove all the negative people from my life and make room for people who were positive, uplifting, and empowering. And you will have to do the same if you want to follow your passion, find your purpose, and create a better life for yourself.

You must be willing to risk it all because the last thing you want is to wake up one morning- eighty years old and say, I woulda, shoulda, coulda done this or I woulda, shoulda, coulda done that.

As for me, I don’t want to have to say, “Oh no! If I’d only done this or that,” or “I had this great idea five, ten, twenty, or thirty years ago and I didn’t act on it because I was too afraid.”

So, do it while you can and be willing to accept the risk that goes with it.

It is either do or die. Risk now or regret later!

“Get busy living or get busy dying.” – Morgan Freeman in The Shawshank Redemption