The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

January 13, 2025January 14, 20258 Comments

‘Want to know what happens in the bullied brain? Here are the changes that happen in the brain of a bullied person that you need to know about.

Prolonged bullying can cause actual changes in the brains of it’s victims. And these changes aren’t good.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the bullied brain and the exact changes that victims’ brain goes through.

Once you learn all about these negative brain changes, you will be able to better describe how bullying has changed you. Also, you will be more motivated to take the steps needed to protect your mind from vicious bullies.

This post is all about the bullied brain and why it’s important for you not only to protect your your mind from bullying.

The Bullied Brain

Bullying and Changes in the Brain

As we know, bullying can cause victims lots of trauma. However, bystanders also suffer a degree of trauma as well, just by witnessing it.

For now, let’s talk about what bullying does to targets, since it affects them the most.

Any form of psychological trauma, whether it comes from combat, rape, or bullying, changes the physiology of the brain.

Furthermore, it reprograms the brain’s alarm system. It also causes a sharp increase in stress hormones.

Put simpler, it changes the way the brain distinguishes real information from fake information. And lastly it comes more difficult for the brain to tell the difference between information that relevant and that which is irrelevant.

Because of these changes, you become hyper-vigilant. In fact, some victims and survivors become so much so that they cannot function day to day.

Once you’ve suffered enough trauma, you may have difficulty learning from experience. As a result, you may often repeat the same destructive behaviors. This is why others often accuse you of being a “bad” person.

Also, others may label you as lazy, stubborn, immoral, and having bad character.

1. Bullying rewires Your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

You must understand that this is what happens when people bully you for long periods of time. It will rewire your brain to prepare for a hostile environment.

In other words, you will have difficulty trusting people. You’ll come to only expect hostility from them.

Moreover, people may accuse you of being lazy when you’re only dealing with “learned helplessness.” And learned helplessness is a common result of repeated and prolonged bullying and verbal abuse.

Also, others may accuse you of being defiant and stubborn when you’re actually shutting down.

Moreover, they may also accuse you of hotheadedness or craziness when you’re actually defending yourself. Or, you could be experiencing the release of pinned up rage.

This sudden out-pour of raw emotions often results from being abused, then silenced and punished for speaking out and defending yourself.

2. The bullied brain:

Prolonged and Repeated Bullying and Abuse Causes Learned Helplessness.

If you suffer repeated bullying and abuse, you may have no way of defending yourself. Moreover, certain circumstances may leave you with no way of fleeing and escaping the bullying and toxic environment.

Learned helplessness doesn’t only come from repeated bullying and abuse. It also comes from feelings of entrapment.

In other words, it’s caused from feeling powerless to do anything to better your situation.

For example, if a group of bullies lock the door of the bathroom and surrounds you, they block any escape. They then hold you down as they attack you.

This is likely to cause “learned helplessness.”

Here’s another example. You report the bullying to the school principal or teacher. But instead of helping you, the school staff only blame you and refuse to help.

Then, the next day, the bullies retaliate and beat you to a pulp for snitching. Even worse, this happens several times until you finally give up trying to take care of yourself.

Thus, you develop learned helplessness.

Battered Wife Syndrome: Another example of the Bullied Brain

A battered wife is constantly threatened by her abusive husband. He tells her that, if she leaves, he will take the children from her, or kill her, or worse, kill her entire family.

As a result, she feels trapped in an abusive marriage with no way out. Therefore, she is likely to develop battered wife syndrome, which is another form of learned helplessness.

Understand that it’s not so much the bullying and abuse that causes this condition. There have been many abused and bullied people who have escaped their situations.

They later became highly independent, healthy, and successful people.

What causes learned helplessness is the inability to oppose or escape the abuse. In other words, you develop learned helplessness when bullies and abusers block you from any possible paths of escape.

Why? Because you have no other recourse than to take the abuse quietly just to survive. That is what causes “learned helplessness.”

This also happens when you have no one to turn to for help. When no one will listen to or believe you, the condition of learned helplessness has a strong chance of developing.

3. You become exhausted and lose the will to fight back.

When people bully you, it can be extremely exhausting. Understand that bullies know this. Therefore, they’ll deliberately wear you down to take the fight out of you. Then, they can take control over your life.

At first, you may defend yourself, fiercely asserting your rights to human dignity, respect and safety. However, most bullies don’t recognize human rights.

They only see your acts of self-defense and self-protection as a threat to their power. Therefore, they only double down.

In other words, your bullies intensify the hatred and abuse to keep you fighting until they mentally and physically exhaust you.

You finally become so tired that you lose your will to fight back. You then decide that it’s much easier just to give up.

4. The Bullied Brain:

You lose the ability to recognize mistreatment.

When you’re used to being treated well, you can see bullying more clearly. Therefore, you know the difference when it happens.

However, after you endure bullying for so long, the lines get blurred, and you lose the ability to see aggression so clearly. This happens especially if the hostility is subtle.

Finally, you reach a point where you don’t recognize abuse at all!

5. Bullies condition you to accept bad behavior from others.

After bullies have verbally abused you for so long, you begin to believe their words. In other words, bullies have abused you until you finally start to believe that you somehow deserve it.

These damaging self-beliefs happen after the bullies, their followers, and bystanders have repeatedly abused you and prevented you from defending yourself.

Put another way, they have drummed into your head that you are worthless. Moreover, they have repeated that lie over and over until you begin to believe it too.

6. The Bullied Brain:

You begin to punish yourself.

You do this by engaging in risky or self-destructive behaviors. you may hang with the wrong people and befriend those who only tolerate you. Moreover, you may participate in risky sexual behavior or having relationships with abusive partners.

7. You contemplate suicide.

After bullies have tormented you for so long, the torture can reach a point to where you think of suicide. It’s not that you want to die, per se. However, when people constantly bully you without stopping, you may feel that dying is the only way to make it stop.

The Bullied Brain: Understand that Bullying is One Big PsyOp

Think about it. Governments and their military use psyop operations by starting propaganda campaigns. When bullies employ smear campaigns and verbal abuse against you, it is the equivalent of a government propaganda campaign but on a much smaller scale.

Therefore, understand that propaganda campaigns and smear campaigns are pretty much the same and they both have the same purpose. To demoralize the enemy.

When people bully you, they consider you the enemy and want to demoralize you. Therefore, you must realize that, if bullies can demoralize you, they can then crush your will to stand up for yourself and fight back.

The Bullied Brain:

Here’s How Bullies Attempt to demoralize you.

Bullies will tell you things, such as:

“You’re not strong (pretty, smart) enough.”
“No body likes you” or “You don’t have any friends.”
“You can’t fight against us.”
“You’ll always be a nobody” or “You’ll never amount to anything.”
“No one will ever date you (or) marry you.”
“You’ll never win that contest.”
“You’ll never make the team.”

You’ll never this and you’ll never that. You must realize that these statements mean to mentally subdue you. In other words, they force you to give up your natural reluctance to bow down and take abuse.

Understand that your bullies must slowly weaken you so that you won’t stand up to them. And once they do, you’ll give up on yourself and allow them to just walk all over you.

In Conclusion:

Understand that you must take care of your mental health and self-esteem if you want to avoid these results in the future.

Therefore, make sure you have friends outside of the bullying environment that you can talk to. Also, turn to supportive family members for help.

Do things you enjoy and keep company with positive and uplifting people any time you’re away from the bullies.

Your goal is to balance everything out by adding healthy and positive relationships and experiences. You must cultivate these relationships even if they’re outside the bullying environment.

This balance will soften the blows to your self-esteem and provide a buffer to your bullies’ attacks.

This Post is all about the bullied brain and why you should take steps to protect your mind just as you would your body

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

December 23, 2024December 15, 202413 Comments

‘Want to know the effects of bullying so that you can take steps to salvage your mental health? Here are all the aftereffects victims suffer.

Bullying crushes your spirit. It sucks the joy out of life and reprograms the mind. If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to believe the lies bullies tell you and see yourself through your bullies’ eyes.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the effects of bullying so that you’ll recognize these aftereffects when you feel them.

Once you learn all about these crushing mental health consequences, you will be more compelled to take steps to protect your self-esteem.

This post is all about the effects of bullying so that you will become proactive in guarding your mental health from social leeches who wish to destroy it.

The Effects of Bullying

Sadly, bullies have ways of making you believe that, just maybe, they have a justifiable reason to bully you. However, you can’t seem to figure what it is.

Realize that this is your first clue that they’re lying to you. In other words, if someone tells you that you deserve bad treatment but can’t give you any reasons why, there may not be any reasons for their behavior.

Therefore, when you try to find out why, you’re probably searching for reasons that aren’t there. Understand that this is a sign that your bullies are only gaslighting you.

However, most victims of bullying don’t stop and think about these things. Therefore, they make extra efforts to explain themselves more clearly. Moreover, they cling to the hope that the bullies will go away and leave them alone.

If you suffer bullying, you must realize that your bullies may give you small reprieves from their harassment. Moreover, they may even act friendly toward you.

However, be warned! This is only a game they play to keep you confused and on the back foot! Put another way, bullies give you those breaks and occasional nicey-nice acts to get your hopes up and make you forget about the past.

Then, all of a sudden, they blindside you with another brutal attack. Therefore, understand that this is a mind-game they play.

This is equal to love-bombing by a person with narcissistic personality disorder. They build you up so that they can tear you back down again.

The effects of bullying: The Push and Pull Technique

Understand that the bullies are using the age-old push and pull technique to keep you trying to make friends out of them. As a result, it only keeps you trapped inside the bully/victim dynamic.

They will also recruit others to side with them. Again, they do all this to keep you confused. But know that this is how bullies maintain power over you.

In other words, if your bullies can keep your hopes up, it’s likely that you’ll feel compelled to keep jumping through hoops to prove yourself worthy.

The reprieves have the same purpose.

Here’s how it goes: Bullies stop bullying you for a while, and once you let your guard down and begin feeling safe and confident again, BAM! They attack! Therefore, realize that bullies, like all abusers, do this deliberately!

Over time, bullying can cause these 20 effects on you:

1. Hyper-vigilance

You’re always on guard. You no longer trust yourself to act on your own volition and spontaneity or make your own decisions.

In other words, you’re constantly self-monitoring. You carefully construct your every move so that you don’t look weird, st*pid, or off-putting to others.

Spontaneity is gone. For instance, if something is funny, most people laugh without having to think about it. That’s spontaneity. When you can even laugh at something funny because you’re too afraid of what others will think, that’s a bad sign.

Also, you don’t make your own decisions and act on your own volition because you’re afraid others will criticize you for it.

2. The Effects of Bullying:

Increasing self-doubt

Bullying fills you with uncertainty of how you come across to others. Moreover, you feel you must be extra careful not to be or sound too sensitive or like you’re whining when you report the abuse.

You doubt your abilities and your worth. Moreover you allow your bullies to gaslight you into believing that you somehow cause their abuse when you really do not.

3. You think that something is wrong with you.

Bullies often convince you that something is wrong with you. In fact, they may even try to make you believe that everything is wrong with you. However, you must realize that this is what they want you to think. Why? Because bullies are afraid that if you ever notice that they’re the ones with the issues, you just might grow a spine and tell them to piss off!

4. You second-guess yourself.

This is a close brother to self-doubt. You constantly wonder. “Did I make the right choice?” “Am I being too sensitive?” “Do I measure up to everyone else?”

Understand that this is no way to live. Therefore, it’s imperative that you stop caring what people think and just do what makes you feel good. Free yourself from the chains of other people’s approval and you experience total freedom.

5. The Effects of Bullying:

You Constantly replay and review bullying incidents to figure out what went wrong.

In other words, you ruminate. You mind plays the scenario over and over like a broken record. However, this often leaves you feeling worse.

So, stop this now! Realize that nothing went wrong but your bullies’ deplorable behavior. You must realize that you can’t control others behavior.

Each person decides how they’re going to act toward you. And once you realize that people choose how to treat you, you will no longer feel the need for any replays.

6. You lose your zest for life.

In other words, you lose your happiness and peace of mind. Also, you lose the excitement of things to come.

7. You lose your confidence.

Once you lose confidence in yourself, you’ll be to afraid to try new things for fear of failure. Moreover, you’ll give up on yourself.

As a result, you’ll live a mediocre life.

8. You have a constant inner critic.

In other words, you often engage in negative self-talk, even if it’s in your mind.

9. The Effects of Bullying:

You fear that you’re going bonkers.

Bullies have ways of making you feel like you’re going stark raving mad. This is due to the incessant gaslighting they dish out to keep you from noticing that it’s them who have the issues and not you.

10. You have a dreadful sense that time is passing and you’re missing out

When people bully you, they’ll block you from having friends and enjoying positive experiences that others get to enjoy. Therefore, bullying can give victims FOMO and the sense that they are, in fact, missing out on a lot of things in life.

11. You get a growing sense that you aren’t happy but you should be.

Bullying strips you of any happiness you might otherwise enjoy. Moreover, what bit of happiness you do manage to scrounge up for yourself is often an illusion.

For example, you might attach yourself to the wrong people and attract friends who are fake and only come around when they need something from you.

And you may think that they really care for you when they really don’t. That kind of happiness is a mirage and it’s fleeting.

12. The Effects of Bullying:

You believe you can’t do anything right.

Bullies have ways of making you believe that everything under the sun is wrong with you. Moreover, they make you think that you can’t do anything right.

Therefore, know that they have the issues, not you and that there are many things you can do right. See your bullies for who they are. And who they are, are your enemies who are out to destroy your confidence in your abilities.

13. You feel discombobulated and off-balance.

Bullying and peer abuse makes you feel off-balance. The bewilderment and confusion bullies cause you is the reason for it. Therefore, learn everything you can about bullying.

This means reading and learning about bullying from all angles! Moreover, it means learning about different types of bullies, their tactics, and the mindset behind those tactics.

I promise you that once you learn all about these things, you will feel so much better about yourself. Even better, you will be able to protect yourself more effectively.

14. You have a distrust in relationships.

Bullying can cause you to fear being harmed and suffering more bullying in the future. Therefore, you shut everyone out to be safe.

However, this is bad because, any time you withdraw from others, you cheat yourself out of wonderful opportunities to make friends. Moreover, you miss out on those who might prove to be true friends and wonderful assets to your life.

So, see total strangers as opportunities and give them a chance because, you just never know.

15. The Effects of Bullying:

You lose faith in humanity.

In other words, you adopt the belief that all people are inherently evil and enjoy seeing others suffer. Bullying can make you believe that other people just aren’t safe.

16. You have an overwhelming desire to escape and get away from the bullying environment.

When you’ve suffered severe and long-term bullying from the same toxic people in the same toxic place, all you want to do is to get away from the creeps! This goes especially if circumstances, such as finances, keep you stuck there.

Understand that this feeling is normal and that one day, a door will open and you’ll get the opportunity to pick up and leave. So, don’t give up hope.

17. You constantly live in the future.

In other words, you believe, “things will be better when I graduate.” Or, you may think, “Life will get better when I turn eighteen.”

The running theme in your mind will be that life will get better when you get another job, move away, get married, have children, etc.

Child and teen victims of school bullying often wish for the future. Therefore, because of the bullying you suffer in school now, you long for the future.

You daydream about the day when you can finally graduate and get away from the creeps who make your existence at school a living hell.

However, know that this is normal for anyone in your situation and it isn’t your fault.

The Effects of Bullying:

In Conclusion

If bullies are making your life a nightmare and you have any of the above symptoms, leave the toxic place, if you can. Why? Because, any time you’re so hurt and perplexed that you cannot tell which end is up, you’re living in hell, and it’s no way to live.

You deserve peace, happiness, and confidence. Go where you can flourish, and your spirit can get the nourishment it desperately needs.

This post is all about the effects of bullying so that you can recognize the symptoms and take steps to get your life back on track.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

4. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

5. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

The World Through the Eyes of a Target

June 12, 20226 Comments

After you’ve been a target of bullying for any length of time, the world becomes a terrifying place.

You begin avoiding people and social situations like the plague because you’ve become afraid of people- all people. In short, you’ve lost all faith in humanity. Everything becomes threatening. You’re stuck in defense mode and constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The ability to think becomes blurry. You drown in self-doubt and lose the ability to distinguish fact from opinion and truth from lies. Therefore, you lose the ability to make smart decisions. You’re always on guard and trust no one. Again, everyone becomes a threat. Even total strangers become threatening.

You can’t give anyone a chance because you’ve become so afraid of being hurt again. And why not? Your classmates or coworkers have done extensive and deliberate harm for so many months or even years. So, who’s to say that others won’t do the same.

Knowing that anyone could bully you at any time, you must always watch your back and cover your behind. And you must continually look over your shoulder and observe those around you for signs of hostility.

You come to believe you have a mark on you that everyone but you can see, and it’s why others always seem to come after you. As much as you want to get rid of that mark, you’re not sure how to do it.

You don’t think you’ll ever stop being a target.

There’s the feeling that there’s no possibility of ever overcoming it. Other victims might rise above it, but you never will because you think that love, success, and anything good is for anyone who isn’t you.

You’ll never be the same person you were before bullies began targeting you. When you’ve been a target of bullying and continue to be, jokes stop being funny because you automatically feel they are somehow aimed at you. Bullying makes a person paranoid. And with good reason.

You lose all confidence, and your self-esteem hits rock bottom. Therefore, your mind is poisoned with the belief that you can never do anything right. You see yourself as a failure. You think that anything you touch, you’ll only screw up.

There’s the expectation that you’ll fail in social situations and that everyone will see all your flaws, real or perceived. You start having unexpected and uncontrollable emotional meltdowns and outbursts. Why? Because you’re in constant fight or flight mode. Your mind is in overdrive, and you’re hyper-vigilant. Your physical body suffers splitting headaches and violent bouts of nausea.

You don’t know who you are anymore. You’ve become a stranger to yourself- this person you don’t even recognize.

You’re shaky inside. You feel tired and run down all the time now. Even worse, you pass out from panic attacks, and you can no longer sleep at night. Your weight drops and your hair falls out due to the overwhelming stress. You feel as if people are torturing you.

In essence, you turn against yourself because you feel the entire world has turned against you.

I was there at one point. Then, I got mad! I didn’t only get angry at them for driving me into that dark pit of hopelessness, but I got mad at myself for allowing it! And when I got mad at myself and started working on changing my self-perception, that’s when things began to change!

The good thing is that I wasn’t down for long. Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, and this describes how you feel now, I want to give you a big hug.

I also want to tell you that regardless of how things are looking now, there’s hope. You will see the sun again.

‘You see? It’s one thing to have people look down on you, but it’s another when you allow them to cause you to look down on yourself. If nothing else, hang on to your self-love and your strong sense of self. Please don’t allow your bullies to force you to see yourself through their eyes. Believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Never ever give up.

Bullies may turn everyone else against you. Just make sure they never turn you against you.

Know that no matter what, you’re worth it! And you deserve friendship, love, and happiness just as much as anyone else!

5 Negative Outcomes of Being Targeted for Bullying

June 9, 2022December 9, 202412 Comments

As a survivor of bullying, people often ask me, “What’s the worst thing about being bullied?” Here are my answers:

1. It’s the pinned up fear and rage you feel but don’t dare show. It’s the paralyzing social fear that sets in. It shuts you down and leaves you withdrawn from the rest of the world. Once people have bullied you for so long, you become intensely paranoid and suspicious of every person you meet. Any laughter you hear, you automatically think, is directed at you.

2. It’s the confusion. You know that you should take a stand against the bullies. You know that you should speak out about it, only you don’t know how to do it, and you’re terrified that it will only make things worse.

3. It’s the unanswered questions that play in your mind a thousand times a day. “Why me?” “What have I done to these people” “How do I fix this?” are the questions you have in your head every time bullies surround you and harass you. You know what you want to say to the bullies. “Look! Leave me the &%$# alone!” you scream inside your head but don’t’ dare say it because you know what’s likely to come next.

4. It’s the feeling of loneliness and isolation. When we suffer bullying, not only do bullies smear us to keep us isolated and from making any new friends, but we- WE automatically put up walls of protection to keep other people out, which only reinforces the separation from others.

5. It’s the loss of your entire personhood. You forget how to smile, laugh, and have a good time and how to connect with and interact with others. You’re no longer that vibrant, happy, and healthy person you once were. And each insult, each back-biting rumor, each physical attack, each joke, and each prank cuts a little deeper, chips away at your self-esteem, and brings you lower. You feel trapped. You feel as if your bullies are holding you hostage!

Bullies can ruin a target’s life! And they can alter your entire life if you don’t make the changes needed to take your life back.

I won’t kid you. To get out of the hole that your bullies have forced you into, you will have to work hard.

You’ll first need to get out of that environment (if possible), then focus on healing, and lastly, change your entire mindset, which means altering your thought patterns, your attitude, and your whole demeanor. And this change won’t happen overnight but may take years.

However, you must be patient and put in the work and time to take back your confidence and happiness. But I promise you, it will be worth it in the long run, and you’ll be so glad you put in the time and effort!

With knowledge comes empowerment.

5 Ways to Lift Your Spirits

April 9, 202258 Comments

We all have days when we feel down in the dumps. Fortunately, there are things you can do to remedy your situation and chase those doldrums away!

1. Listen to good music – There’s nothing that cures your ills like boogying down to some good dance music or rocking out to the sounds of your favorite rock bands. There something about music that makes us come alive and want to get up and move! So, put on some good tunes and shake your butt!

2. Go for a walk – Going on a good nature walk on a beautiful Spring day lifts the spirits and feels so good. Walking is also one of the best exercises there is, so, there are physical health benefits to it as well.

3. Indulge in your hobbies – working on and completing your hobbies brings out your creative side and gives you the feeling of success and accomplishment. It gives you pride in yourself and in your abilities. And who doesn’t love that?

4. Surround yourself with your favorite people – Being around the people you love, who love you, and who lift you up feeds your soul like nothing else. When you get together with your loved ones, you know you belong, and you get that much needed sense of belonging and togetherness.

5. Fix yourself up – As the old saying goes, when you look good, you feel good. When you take pride in your appearance, it shows. Looking your best has a way of building your confidence and your self-esteem. And it also has a way of spreading to others.

The good thing as that you have options. Do any one of these things and watch your mood skyrocket in just minutes. You’ll be glad you did. I promise!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

5 Things You Can Do to Uplift Your Spirits

February 6, 2022125 Comments

Even the happiest of people have days when they feel down in the dumps. Fortunately, there are things you can do to remedy your situation and chase those doldrums away!

The good thing as that you have options. Do any one of these things and watch your mood skyrocket in just minutes. You’ll be glad you did. I promise!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

8 Emotions That Targets of Bullying Feel

October 8, 202120 Comments

cry tears

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend unless they themselves have experienced bullying. It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it.

1.Grief- Once you become an object of bullying or mobbing, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get your former life back. You also grieve the loss of your respect, dignity, reputation, good standing, and your identity. You mourn the loss of your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family.

2, Bewilderment- You don’t understand why this is happening to you- why you’re being bullied and why people you love and thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred. In your heart, you know that you’re a great person and that you never intentionally slighted nor hurt anyone. So, what gives?

3. Confusion- You’re at a loss as to which way to turn and who to turn to. And you don’t know what to do to remedy the situation because each time you try, only makes the bullying worse. You feel stuck!

4. Terror – Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak. You’re afraid of the people around you. You’re afraid to make any moves or decisions because you know that anything you do will be scrutinized and made to look bad, crazy, or evil. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know they’re all out to get you and you know that if you show, they’ll only blindside you with another attack.

4. Sadness- You cry in your car to and from your school or workplace. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed. It seems that no one will give you a chance and you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene and turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness a target feels is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Depression- This comes with being rendered powerless. It seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. You have the feeling of being bound and gagged. You feel trapped like a rat and there’s nowhere to go where the bullies and participants won’t find you. And you feel that there’s no hope that things will ever get better.

7. Ohhhh, the rage! This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion targets can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows until you’d give anything just to have the power to rip their heads off and shoved them up their you-know-whats. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you and gives you such evil thoughts!

I remember the rage I felt in middle and high school when I was a target of bullying and it grew to a level until, at one point, I felt homicidal! I loathed them so intensely that I just wanted all of them to drop dead.

I used my brain. I didn’t allow myself to snap and take any lives. I thought about my future and how doing something horribly violent would ruin it, I then decided that none of my classmates were worth ruining my future and causing my family heartache over and eventually, a door opened for me and I was able to transfer to a new school where things got better.

8. 8Suicidal thoughts. It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop and when it gets to a certain level, death seems to be the only escape for it. These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. But don’t give up. Because as long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change for the better and you can come out victorious on the other side of it.

I want you to know that if you’re a target of bullying, things may seem hopeless, but they aren’t. Things change for the better all the time and when you least expect them to.

How Bullying Negatively Affects The Targets Performance in School

September 27, 202113 Comments

As we all should know, bullying can have a devastating effect on grades and class performance. Here’s how:

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, you are forcibly put on constant alert for an attack. It feels as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head. You become hyper-vigilant, which breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is the body tired, but also the mind.

When so much focus must be placed on ways to protect yourself and maintain dignity, safety takes priority over studying lessons. How can one concentrate on schoolwork when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence? How can a student study and learn effectively when the mind is tired from being stuck in what seems to be a never-ending fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

I can tell you this because it happened to me.

In my book, “From Victim to Victor”, I talk about having been on the honor roll before I began attending school in *Oakley (The school I was bullied in). I also talk about the transfer to *Roseburg High School during my senior year and how my grades skyrocketed overnight! After leaving that toxic learning environment and moving to a new school, my grades went from ‘C’s and ‘D’s to all ‘A’s with maybe one ‘B’. I made honor roll again for the first time in five long years!

Here is an excerpt from my book, “From Victim to Victor”, which explains things a little deeper:

bullied victim tortured

“…when anyone, even the most logical and rational of anyone is under a large amount of stress over a long period of time, the glucocorticoids that have flooded the brain and body for so long will cause the atrophy of areas responsible for memory, emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships…”

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor grades and class performance?

Second, after being told repeatedly and for so long that they don’t and never will amount to anything, victims begin to believe it themselves. A condition, known as “Learned Helplessness” develops and victims simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can affect ALL areas of a victim’s life. Not just social, but academics and achievements as well.

(*Not the real name of the town.)

Learned Helplessness Explained (Part 2)

July 23, 202110 Comments

Continued from Part 1…

During the last post, I promised to show you how to get out of that bad place. Here’s the short list of things you can do:

1.Seek therapy. Counselling that is. Counselling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

2. Prayer. Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

3. Reading personal development. You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene!

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

4. Practice, practice, practice. None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

Targets of Bullying and Depression

June 5, 202119 Comments

Depression is the lowest point a target can be driven to. Targets of bullying who are depressed have been bullied and beaten down so much, for so long that they’ve progressed downward.

First, these targets were weakened and made to feel inadequate. As the bullying continued, and, more than likely escalated, they next began to feel helpless and hopeless. As time progressed as did the bullying, these targets were driven even lower until they felt resigned. And once they felt resigned, they then sank into depression.

Why is Depression so bad?

It’ because it comes from a feeling of powerlessness. When you feel as if you have power over nothing- when you feel as if your life has been set to autopilot, it’s the epitome of hell on earth.

A depressed target doesn’t fight back because he/she has been worn down. Therefore, they resign themselves after so long. The target has been knocked down by his bullies (and life in general) too many times and they’ve finally given up. The target feels that no matter what he does and how hard he tries to remedy his circumstances, life only comes at him that much harder through his bullies.

Once a target of bullying reaches the point of severe depression, he loses the will to fight. For example, a bully will insult him, and the target will only become more depressed instead of angry. The reason for this is that the target has been brainwashed over time, by repeated and relentless attacks, to believe that he somehow deserves it, can do nothing about it, and is at the mercy of his bullies.

Bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Depressed targets see the bullying they suffer as proof of how undesirable and undeserving of happiness they are.

Depression Concept with Word Cloud and a Humanbeing with broken Brain and Heavy Rain

Understand that people who are depressed have already been diminished, so, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring them down. That work has already been accomplished. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep the target diminished. After all, it’s much easier (and a lot less time consuming) to keep someone down than it is to bring them down. It’s always easier to maintain something than to change it.

Depressed targets have often been run over by so may people that their interactions with others leave them with the belief that they’re inferior to everybody. They have such a sense of inferiority and undesirability and they often misinterpret gestures from others.

They mistake a genuine smile for pity, neutrality for aloofness, and a frown for rejection or contempt.

Targets who are depressed consciously or subconsciously berate themselves because the bullying and abuse they’ve suffered for so long and, in many cases, still suffer, has reshaped their thinking, feelings, self-evaluations, and self-belief.

I tell you these things because I was there once, and it was the lowest point of my life. And this post is for those who DO NOT understand what bullying can do and who DON’T understand depression and the sheer hell of it. Many people have been there, they understand. But sadly, there are also many who’ve never battled it and don’t understand it.

The effects of bullying and the depression it brings is heartbreaking because the target has been broken and may either remain that way, or spend years, even decades, mending and healing. But know that the target can heal.

Understand that this may require a lot of therapy, but they can reprogram themselves to regain their confidence and feel good again. They can take their lives back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, such as the loss of a loved one, loss of a job, accident, injury, or any traumatic event, know that there are people who care and can help you. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

I’m sending warm and loving thoughts and prayers your way!

5 Things You Can Do to Lift Your Spirits

March 24, 202127 Comments

We all have days when we feel down in the dumps. Fortunately, there are things you can do to remedy your situation and chase those doldrums away!

The good thing as that you have options. Do any one of these things and watch your mood skyrocket in just minutes. You’ll be glad you did. I promise!