Tag: culture of bullying

Bullying, Social Proof, and Status Quo

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We may not realize it, but we sell ourselves to the public every day. From making new friends to finding a date, we sell ourselves- putting our best foot forward to impress others and show them our best sides, and we do this unconsciously, without even thinking about it. We give the illusion that we’re a hot item because we instinctively know that it’s what everyone loves and is attracted to, and we’re afraid of not being accepted.

“Social proof (also known as an informational social influence) is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.”

Put more plainly; we tend to do what we think everyone else is doing, to follow the pack, to join the bandwagon, to get in on the next big thing, whether it be the new, hot fashion trend, a breakout musical group, anything that’s extremely popular with others!

For example, a few decades ago, Cabbage Patch Kids were a hot item! Everybody had a cabbage patch kid- I had one myself. And anytime there’s a hot item that’s “all the rage,” everyone clamors to have it!

It’s the same in the social arena. Everyone wants to hang with the “cool” crowd. Although this crowd may or may not be what you’d consider cool and might be the opposite of, others perceive them to be and want to hang with them, so you want to hang with them. Therefore, you want to do what they’re doing. Unfortunately, it’s also the same with bullying.

With bullying in school or the workplace, if everyone else is bullying you, you can be sure that total strangers who have never met you and even your friends will (if they haven’t already) also try to bully you. Why? Because “everyone else is doing it” and they want to join the in-crowd!

But know that when this happens, it has nothing to do with you and in no way means that you somehow deserve it or did anything wrong. What it means is that most people are followers and drones- sheep! They’re slaves to the prospect of fitting in with the majority.

In essence, bullying you has become a ritual with them—the in-thing to do at your school or your employment place.

The more you know about the psychology of bullies, the better you prepare, and the better you’ll feel. Sometimes, just knowing the truth is enough to make you feel better.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Something Schools with Cultures of Bullying Rarely Think About

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Flush money down the toilet, throws dollar bills in the toilet, loss concept, close up, selective focus

“When bullied children stay home to avoid hurtful relationships, schools lose tens of millions of dollars each year, a new study says.” (Education Week)

According to The Atlantic (theatlantic.com) in a 2013 article by Eleanor Barkham, “160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied.” (https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp/.theatlantic.com/amp/article/280201/)

It adds up. Imagine those numbers per week, per month, and school year.
Each state funds each of its schools a specific dollar amount per day, per child in attendance. Therefore, when a student is absent from class on any given day, the school loses money for that particular student.

Many schools choose to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug. Even sadder is the fact that all too often, it’s the victims who get labeled the troublemakers, blamed for the incident, and punished while the bullies get let off the hook.

One hundred dollar bill on fire, male going bankrupt, losing money, inflation

This only encourages the bullies to bully the victim later. It’s the same cycle, which is why many victims begin skipping school to avoid their tormentors and the teachers and staff who continuously blame them for their own suffering.

I can’t say I blame these kids for staying home. Many times, I skipped class myself when I was in school and a victim of harassment. Who wants to be in an environment where they’re used and abused? You might as well stay home because you’re so busy watching your back that you don’t learn anything.

If bullying isn’t addressed at the district level, more bullied kids will skip school to avoid being tormented, and schools will lose more funds.

In my opinion, it serves these schools, right! It’s funny how things always run full circle!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullying and Social Proof

Leave a comment

We may not realize it, but we sell ourselves to the public every day. From making new friends to finding a date, we sell ourselves- putting our best foot forward to impress others and show them our best sides, and we do this unconsciously, without even thinking about it. We give the illusion that we’re a hot item because we instinctively know that it’s what everyone loves and is attracted to, and we’re afraid of not being accepted.

“Social proof (also known as an informational social influence) is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.”

Put more plainly; we tend to do what we think everyone else is doing, to follow the pack, to join the bandwagon, to get in on the next big thing, whether it be the new, hot fashion trend, a breakout musical group, anything that’s extremely popular with others!

For example, a few decades ago, Cabbage Patch Kids were a hot item! Everybody had a cabbage patch kid- I had one myself. And anytime there’s a hot item that’s “all the rage,” everyone clamors to have it!

It’s the same in the social arena. Everyone wants to hang with the “cool” crowd. Although this crowd may or may not be what you’d consider cool and might be the opposite of, others perceive them to be and want to hang with them, so you want to hang with them. Therefore, you want to do what they’re doing. Unfortunately, it’s also the same with bullying.

With bullying in school or the workplace, if everyone else is bullying you, you can be sure that total strangers who have never met you and even your friends will (if they haven’t already) also try to bully you. Why? Because “everyone else is doing it” and they want to join the in-crowd!

But know that when this happens, it has nothing to do with you and in no way means that you somehow deserve it or did anything wrong. What it means is that most people are followers and drones- sheep! They’re slaves to the prospect of fitting in with the majority.


In essence, bullying you has become a ritual with them—the in-thing to do at your school or your employment place.

The more you know about the psychology of bullies, the better you prepare, and the better you’ll feel. Sometimes, just knowing the truth is enough to make you feel better.

Schools That Have A Culture of Bullying Lose Lots of Money

Leave a comment

Flush money down the toilet throws dollar bills in the toilet, lose concept, close up, selective focus.

“When bullied children stay home to avoid hurtful relationships, schools lose tens of millions of dollars each year, a new study says.” (Education Week)

According to The Atlantic (theatlantic.com) in a 2013 article by Eleanor Barkham, “160,000 kids stay home from school each day to avoid being bullied.” (https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp/.theatlantic.com/amp/article/280201/)

It adds up. Imagine those numbers per week, per month, and school year.
Each state funds each of its schools a specific dollar amount per day, per child in attendance. Therefore, when a student is absent from class on any given day, the school loses money for that particular student.

Many schools choose to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug. Even sadder is the fact that all too often, it’s the victims who get labeled the troublemakers, blamed for the incident, and punished while the bullies get let off the hook.

One hundred dollar bill on fire, male going bankrupt, losing money, inflation

This only encourages the bullies to bully the victim later. It’s the same cycle, which is why many victims begin skipping school to avoid their tormentors and the teachers and staff who continuously blame them for their own suffering.

I can’t say I blame these kids for staying home. Many times, I skipped class myself when I was in school and a victim of harassment. Who wants to be in an environment where they’re used and abused? You might as well stay home because you’re so busy watching your back that you don’t learn anything.

If bullying isn’t addressed at the district level, more bullied kids will skip school to avoid being tormented, and schools will lose more funds.

In my opinion, it serves these schools, right! It’s funny how things always run full circle!