Let’s Face It. Life Isn’t Fair (Part 2)

October 7, 2023October 7, 20237 Comments

Continued from part 1…

Let’s face it. Life isn’t fair.

Moreover, when you whine and complain, you only focus on the problem and not a possible solution. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect a complainer. If you need to get something off your chest, fine, but still, there is a time and place for it.

Throughout my life, I’ve known such chronic complainers, that complaining seemed to be the default mode for them. They even whined after they found a solution to their problem. “But it didn’t happen fast enough!” they might have said. To that, I wanted to say, “Hey, buddy! Nothing good comes quickly nor easily! Life’s tough! Get used to it!”

I’ve even known whiners who really didn’t want a solution to their problems. They just wanted to gripe, thinking it would get rid of all that pinned-up energy and make them feel better. Sadly, I was guilty of these things when I was young.

whining and complaining always comes from powerlessness!

But understand that complaining comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim-mentality. People who do this are only taking out all their anger, bitterness, resentment, and frustration. Not that it’s necessarily a bad thing every once in a while. Even the most resilient vent every now and then. Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it every time something doesn’t go your way, or worse, you complain constantly, it becomes a problem.

The people around you will get sick of listening to it and after a while they will lose respect for you. Complaining also invites bullying to come your way because bullies will use it as a weapon against you. If you are a target of bullying, I want you to realize that whining about it, rather than taking action against it, will make you an even bigger target!

being a chronic complainer also stems from laziness and lack of personal responsibility.

Hey! I understand how you feel. You have every right to be angry. Being bullied sucks and it hurts. I get that. However, as I said earlier, complaining comes from powerlessness and weakness. Moreover, it comes from laziness and lack of personal responsibility. Complaining alone does nothing to solve the problem. You must also take action.

On the other hand, if you hear someone else constantly complaining and you’re an empath, it might be tempting to lend the person your ear. This is a bad idea because you’re not helping the person. You’re only enabling them to complain more and you’re setting yourself up to be their go-to person anytime they need to unload. As a result, the person won’t feel better. They’ll only drain your energy.

IF you’re a target of bullying, complaining without doing something about it will only alienate people who might otherwise help you.

Only victims complain, targets take action. You score more points by doing something about the bullying then you ever will by whining and complaining about it. When you’re a target of bullying and not a victim of it, you understand that life doesn’t have to be fair and that it isn’t. Also, you take action by standing up for yourself and/or reporting it. In that, you empower yourself and stand tall and strong. If you have a problem, find solutions.

Instead of consistently whining and complaining, begin taking action. Empower yourself. Be your own hero!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Let’s face it. Life Isn’t Fair.

October 6, 2023October 6, 202310 Comments

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. But you do owe it to yourself. And you have every right to pursue and achieve happiness and make a good life for yourself.

Let me repeat.

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand. However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt and to play it wisely. Some people are born poor, some middle-class, and others are born rich. Some are born with disabilities and others aren’t. One person may have access to certain things and another person may not.

It’s the luck of the draw. Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you have the ability to move upward. It may take a while. A ton of hard work may be required. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it. Complaining only keeps you stuck!

Only you are responsible for your life

Understand that nobody can achieve anything for you. It’s your responsibility to get where you want to go. Each of us has our own lives to improve and each person is responsible for their own destiny. Governments may try, but they can never legislate blessings, luck, and chance. And they cannot legislate fairness.

You only have yourself to depend on and you should never depend on the government, your school, your parents, anyone else to improve your life. You must do it on your own by taking risks and doing the work required to reach your goals. On the other hand, anger and bitterness only get you nowhere and so do whining and complaining.

Today, I hear more and more whining, “it’s not fair.” I see them act out and throw tantrums, as if its going to get them somewhere. Understand that this is victim-mentality and those kinds of thought processes only serve to keep you down and out.

empower yourself by ditching the word, “fair”

People need to man-up (or woman-up) and accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust. In short, the world isn’t fair. Sadly, I see many targets of bullying do this, and, though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

So, take back your happiness by banishing the word, “fair” from your vocabulary and working toward your goals. Stop depending on other people and entities to get you what you want and I guarantee that you’ll instantly be empowered and much happier.

(I’m explain more in Part 2)

“Offended”

May 11, 2021Leave a comment

Isn’t it strange that, nowadays, we have so many people who are so easily offended? With that said, bullies are the very people who are easily offended. In fact, bullies have such fragile egos that it takes zero effort to offend them- especially if you’re a target. Just your mere presence is an insult to them.

Understand that people who are easily offended take things completely out of context- automatically attaching meaning to the behavior of others, when, in reality, it’s completely devoid of personal meaning. Bullies and anyone easily offended have a flair for turning neutrality into a personal affront or confrontation.

They conjure up meanings out of exchanges from others that are totally impersonal. With these paranoid pansies, it’s always:

“She doesn’t agree with everything I say, do, and think, so that means she doesn’t like me!”

“He has a different opinion than me, so that means he’s looking down his nose at me!”

“She doesn’t like the same things I like, so that means she hates me!”

These sad, and often hateful, people automatically presume to know what the other is thinking and feeling.

In life, you will run into these types of people. That’s why it’s best to either divert the conversation to a neutral subject or walk away because they aren’t worth the energy expenditure.

Understand that bullies and the easily offended can never be happy because they place entirely too much value and investment in how they are thought of by others. This is no way for a person to live. Anytime you place too much importance in how others evaluate you, you give them too much power over you- you make yourself their prisoner. You make yourself their servant- for free!

Bullies place too much value on their social images. They have a nasty habit of being too occupied with their imaginary views of how others think of them. They over-analyze the images others may (or may not) have of them. They must realize that this is a waste of time because it will never have any bearing on their (the bullies’) lives.

Back in the days of the cavemen, people had to be accepted by their in-group because it was a matter of life and death. To not be accepted in their in-group put the person at risk of starvation and extinction, especially it that person was a woman.

Thankfully, it’s not like that today. Nevertheless, if a bully feels they’re being insulted or made to look weak or stupid, they see it as the end of the world. The threatened loss of their gleaming reputations and becoming an outcast, to them, spells catastrophe!

Here are a few examples of the disease of over-offense:

1.Bully supervisors become offended and enraged at an employee for making a minor mistake because they take it too personally. Therefore, they see the other person as an enemy or adversary over one tiny mistake that was more than likely unintentional and that anybody could make.

2. Bullies and the easily offended are also the types of people who think that when any rules or laws are applied to them, they only have the attitude that the people making the rules and laws are “picking on” them. They then feel a flash of powerlessness that prompts them to lash out.

Understand that these types of people have a child’s mentality and never matured beyond the age of six mentally and emotionally. Their tactics may be way more sophisticated than a six-year-olds, but inside, they still have the maturity and the attitude of one.