Tag: countering

What Bullies Want You to Believe & What You Should Believe

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Understand that bullies thrive on power and control. If they can’t control you, they’ll control how others view you. Also, they’ll use redundancy and repetition to make you believe their lies too. Here’s what they’re most likely to try and get you to think of yourself and what you should believe:

1.What bullies want you to believe

Apart from us, you can do nothing, you are nothing, and you never will be.

What you should believe

Apart from you, I’m better off. I can do anything I set my mind to do, I’m somebody, and later down the line, I’m going to be great and do great things.

2. What bullies want you to believe

You’ll never find happiness without our permission.

What you should believe

I don’t need your permission to be happy. I’m much happier without losers like you in my life.

3. What bullies want you to believe

Nobody will ever like or love you.

What you should believe

Maybe you never will, but I don’t mind because you don’t matter. There will be others who’ll love me for me. I’ll find my tribe.

4. What bullies want you to believe

You’re nothing without our approval.

What you should believe

I’m nothing with it because you are nothing. I don’t need your “approval” because it will never define me. Your opinion matters not because, for something to matter, you must first value it.

Therefore, always counter the statements, including the unspoken ones. You’ll be surprised at what it will do for your self-esteem and your spirit!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Another Bullying Tactic- Barking Orders

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When bullies order the target around, they deny his/her equality and autonomy. Instead of respectfully asking for what they want, bullies only bark off orders as if the target were their subordinate or subject. Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of the person. Understand that bullies don’t have to be bosses or authority to order you around.

Here are some examples of orders and what you can say to counter them:

“Get (your ass) in here!”

“Screw you!”

“Come back here now!”

“Or what?”

“Clean this (shit) up!”

“YOU clean it up!”

“Don’t walk away from me!”

“I just did!”

“You’re not leaving!”

“Watch me!”

“I wanna talk to you!”

“Get lost!”

“I’ve got a bone to pick with you!”

“Drop dead!”

“Pick that up!”

“Up yours!”

“Sit down!”

“YOU sit down!”

“Shut up!”

“YOU shut up!”

“Move!”

“YOU move!”

Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers or your parents or grandparents. And if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks off an order, it’s as simple as saying, “I don’t take orders.”

The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy, self-esteem and keep feeling good about yourself.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

What It Means to Counter Your Bullies’ Attacks

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It means maintaining a healthy and positive sense of self.

It means refusing to take in and accept your bullies’ assaults on your pride and dignity, no matter how powerful or influential they may seem. After all, they’re only people just like you.

Countering the attacks from a bully means being able to withstand the barrage of attacks or your humanity, personhood, and character.

It means not letting your bullies persuade you into thinking that they know you better than you know yourself.

It means being super-self-aware… so much so that you know beyond a shadow of a doubt who you are and that you’re a great person who doesn’t deserve shabby treatment.

It means having a clear vision of your value as a human being.

It means keeping company only with strong people who are positive influences in your life- people who consistently validate and affirm your positive qualities and the good you bring to the lives of others and this world.

Then, when a bully tells you that you’re ugly, stupid, evil, or crazy, you can stand with confidence and say, “No, I’m not. You are,” and walk away with more pride in yourself because you stood up to them.

Many targets fall for the garbage bullies feed them because there’s more to countering the attacks than words or fists. It also takes mind and spirit power.

Most targets, sad to say, are either insecure in themselves, to begin with or became so over time because bullies succeeded in making them that way. They may do like I did in the earliest stages of bullying- “ignore the attacks without responding or fighting back. And we know how that usually ends.

Maintaining mind power and a healthy sense of self is the very foundation of self-defense and protection. Always remember that.

Your mind and your thoughts are free! Keep them that way!

With knowledge comes empowerment!