Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

April 23, 2025April 19, 20259 Comments

If you’re being bullied, do you want to know how to go about using your enemy’s attacks against them? Here are all the defense tactics you need to know about.

Using your enemy’s attacks against them is the most strategic thing you can do when you’re being bullied.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how to do this so that you can better defend yourself against bullying.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with and your bullies likely won’t bother you anymore.

This post is all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can emerge a winner and live in peace.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them

You may not think so. But there are ways you can use your enemy’s attacks against them when you’re dealing with bullies. So, how do you do that?

There are several ways.

1. Drag them out.

What do I mean by this?

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.” When you do this, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. In other words, you force them drag out the insults until they sound boring to any bystanders.

I won’t kid you. This technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time you’re attacked, your first instinct will be to jab back with attacks of your own.

However, this will only proves ineffective. And it’ll pull you down to your bullies’ level.

This method works wonders in cases of school bullying. It can be effective in the workplace too. However, it’s much harder and usually takes much longer to have an effect on the job.

Why? Because adults are more tenacious. Also, they’re much stealthier with their bullying than schoolkids are. Therefore, again, this strategy works much better in the school environment.

2. Respond but don’t react.

Respond, yes. But react, no.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking foolish.

Why? Because bullies want you to react. In other words, they want you to attack them back with name-calling, yelling and cursing. Therefore, the trick is to not give them the response they want.

When you refuse to give them the response they want , their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until they get so old and stale that bystanders get so sick of hearing it that they no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the bullies’ fakery. Also, you draw attention to the childishness of their attacks.

In that, you expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they stupidly think is their strength. Therefore, instead of turning their “audience” against you, your bullies end up alienating them.

Why? Because the bullies end up boring the hell out of any bystanders. And why not? They’ve heard the same tired insults for too long.

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Use their emotions against them- hypersensitivity

Bullies are the most hypersensitive people you’ll ever meet. Ha! And they say that you’re too sensitive? Oh yes! Bullies will accuse you of being what they themselves are.

But have you noticed how they explode in anger and indignation over the smallest of perceived slights? Or how bullies, particularly female bullies, will be the ones who dissolve into a puddle of tears if someone even looks at them cross-ways, or says something hurtful to them!

Or worse, they get held accountable for their bad behavior? I saw this happen at school on several occasions and I’ve got to admit, it was hilarious!

In truth, bullies have the sensitivity of the princess in the classic, “The Princess and the Pea.”

The double-standard is clear. It’s funny how bullies feel intense resentment when you speak out about their abuse. Yet, they feel entitled to do things that are a thousand times worse, not to mention, unspeakable, to you.

But we are not supposed to talk about that. Right?

Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, you need to rely less on words and more on others’ actions and behavior. That way, you can get answers to any questions you have about bullies, abusers, or anyone who does not have your best interests in mind.

4. Weaponize your bullies’ triggers.

Here’s how you expose the bullies for the brutes they are. Use their own tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

And I know it’s not a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Here’s how you do it!

1. Get the bullies in public.

In other words, get them in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them.

For instance, you could look at them and smile as if you know something they don’t. This is a good way to bait them into a reaction.

Then, you can stand back and watch with pleasure as your bullies yell, scream and curse. Moreover, you can enjoy seeing the “what the hell” look on the faces of any bystanders.

And you’ll laugh to yourself as your bullies expose themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

Befriending others the bullies have harmed also has a way of getting under their skin. Bullies hate it when you talk to people they hate as much as they do you.

Also, they especially hate it when their targets unite and form a group! That really ticks them off!

Why? Because, deep down, it intimidates them. Think about it. Bullies always run in packs and they catch their targets when they’re alone.

But when a group of victims ban together, the bullies feel threatened because they lose power. Remember that strength comes in numbers. And numbers scare the hell out of bullies.

In fact, they put them on the defense.

5. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Trick your bullies into coming after you.

This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. Play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited.

In other words, get your bullies to reach to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that you force your bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking that they’re controlling the situation.

However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm.

Calmness always equals the ability to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

Also, when you do get your bullies to come for you, always get them on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get them on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive. Why? Because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. Moreover, they won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

When you bait your bullies, make your bait so sweet that they can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary. This works especially if they’re so pissed at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.”

Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are. Moreover, the angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you. And the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose… right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

But do it with caution, of course.

And if you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, you’ve already won. To quote Sun Tsu, “Never interfere when an enemy is destroying themselves.”

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

This post was all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can expose your bullies without them realizing it and save yourself from future bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Bullies Have Enemies: 3 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage

Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

April 22, 2025April 17, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know what bystanders to bullying do when they see you getting bullied? Here are all the details you need to know about.

Bystanders can be the difference of whether the bullying lessens or worsens. Sadly, most bystanders either refuse to help you if you suffer bullying, or they join in.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bystanders to bullying and why they side with bullies.

Once you learn all about this information, you will not only be able to call out bystanders who band with bullies, you will be better equipped with the knowledge to defend yourself.

This post is all about bystanders to bullying and why most choose to either watch from the sidelines or join in the torment.

Bystanders to bullying

There are many reasons witness to bullying may join the bullies in tormenting you. Here are the most common reasons they do this.

1. Group-think

Excessive group-think is the accepted norm nowadays. Moreover, it’s like that everywhere -in school, at work, on the street, everywhere!

A moderate amount of it is only human nature. Why? Because it’s how we conform to rules and laws. Also, it provides stability for a community.

However, excessive group-think is unhealthy, even dangerous! It’s how cults, dictatorships, and totalitarian states get started.

An example of group-think is, “if everyone else is doing it, I want to do it too.” It’s herd mentality at play.

Therefore, when there’s a culture of bullying in a school or in a workplace, people who would not typically bully, will. And they’ll do it simply because everyone is doing it. So, they think they should get in on it too.

It’s definitely like that in schools and workplaces and has been for decades. Do you wonder why people you thought were friends suddenly and without warning turn on you?

It’s because they are followers. They want to follow the crowd. Therefore, they’ll join in on bullying you to jump on the bandwagon.

These bystanders use you to get in with the cool kids. They want to feel like one of the big guys.

I can remember in high school, most of the other kids and a few teachers shared this toxic group behavior. Again, this happens everywhere.

2. Bystanders to Bullying:

Social Contagion

Why Not? Everybody Else is Bullying Her!

Peer pressure is the best motivator. I look back now and realize that most of my classmates were only drones to the clique. In other words, they were one big herd of sheep.

They were slaves to the prospect of getting in good with “one of the cool kids” or “the ‘Good Ole Boy” network.

‘You see? Bullies are nothing but two-faced hypocrites. They talk out both sides of their mouths, holding you to a double standard.

In other words, they pretend to be something they aren’t and never cab be. Authenticity, being yourself, and free thought and expression are all punishable offenses to bullies. Why?

Because they make everything about appearances. Moreover, bystanders defend people based on whose butt they want to kiss. Remember that most bystanders want move up the social ladder.

Therefore, they’ll mostly side with bullies because, sadly, bullies have the power to give them higher social status. This is how bystanders become secondary bullies.

Bullies, themselves, are also suck-ups. Many pathetically suck up to authority members they secretly can’t stand because they think it’ll score brownie points. And often, it does.

Also, secondary bullies take plenty of degradation from the bullies at the top to fit in and look popular. Again, secondary bullies are usually bystanders who watch your bullies bully you and join in.

And hose who don’t join in will likely refuse to help you.

3. To Get in with the Big Shots

For example, back when I was in school, I knew many bystanders who become secondary bullies, hoping it would win him higher status. He was the son of one of the teachers at school.

Very few of the top bullies liked this wuss. In fact, hardly anyone liked him, yet he would lick the right boots hungrily to get the so-called privilege of hanging with them.

It didn’t matter to him if they were only tolerating him. It was so pathetic I couldn’t hate the boy. All I could do was pity him.

On other occasions, I would see one of the popular girls drop a textbook, a pencil, anything. I would then watch the kids around her scramble, some taking a nosedive to the floor to pick it up for her and laugh as I walked by.

Whoever puts on the most convincing front is usually rewarded with high social status. Moreover, not only the other classmates but many teachers and school staff reward them.

Bystanders to Bullying:

Ways Bystanders suck up to Bullies

Many use fake sympathy, bogus compliments and, incessant butt-kissing. And it’s not because they like and respect these higher-ups. No.

The reason bystanders kiss their asses is to get something from them.

They also use false flattery and toxic conformity. And most of the time, it works. It makes the bullies puffed up and overconfident. Also, it yields immense social benefits for all the wannabes.

Therefore, they maintain the status quo of ritualistic bullying of those they deem socially unfit.

Most bullies have narcissism. Also, they struggle with low self-esteem. Therefore, they’re like tires with slow leaks. Their followers must continuously air them up with fake compliments and false admiration to keep them from going flat.

4. To Boot-Lick for Approval

Thirsty for attention and praise, the bullies at the top surround themselves with weak wannabes. They need boot-lickers and yes-people to feed their hungry egos and tell them what they want to hear.

Sadly, most bystanders are more than happy to do it if it has a chance of rewarding them with high popularity and favors.

The high-status bullies expect everyone to think like them, dress like them and be like them. Moreover, they expect all the underlings to agree with them.

And they follow obediently, in lock-step. On the other hand, they target those who do their own thing and like being themselves.

5. Bystanders to Bullying:

Because Everyone Else is Doing it.

We may not realize it, but we sell ourselves to the public every day. From making new friends to finding a date, we sell ourselves.

We put our best foot forward to impress others. Moreover, we do this unconsciously, without even thinking about it.

Most people give the illusion that they’re a hot item. Why? Because they instinctively know that it’s what everyone loves and is attracted to. Moreover, they’re afraid of not being accepted.

“Social proof (also known as an informational social influence) is a psychological and social phenomenon where people assume the actions of others in an attempt to reflect correct behavior in a given situation.”

Put more plainly; people tend to do what they think everyone else is doing. In other words, they strive to follow the pack or join the bandwagon. They want to get in on the next big thing.

Whether it’s a new, hot fashion trend, a breakout musical group, anything that’s extremely popular with others, most people want to be a part of it.

For example, a few decades ago, Cabbage Patch Kids were a hot item! Everybody had a cabbage patch kid- I had one myself. And anytime there’s a hot item that’s “all the rage,” everyone clamors to have it!

It’s the same in the social arena.

Everyone wants to hang with the “cool” crowd. This crowd may or may not be what you’d consider cool.

In fact, it might be the opposite but that doesn’t matter. What matters is that everyone else thinks they are. They want to be seen with them. Therefore, so do you.

Again, you want to do what they’re doing. Unfortunately, it’s also the same with bullying.

Consequently, if everyone else is bullying you, total strangers who have never met you will try it too. Even your so-called friends will also try to bully you.

Bystanders to Bullying:

Group Behavior

Why? Because “everyone else is doing it” and they want to join the in-crowd! Therefore, if bullying you is the happening thing, other people will want to join in.

However, know that when this happens, it has nothing to do with you. And it doesn’t mean that you somehow deserve the mistreatment.

What it means is that most people are followers and drones- sheep! They’re slaves to the prospect of fitting in with the majority.

In group settings, bullying you becomes a ritual with them. In other words, it’s the in-thing to do at your school or your place of employment.

The more you know about the psychology of bullies, the better you prepare. And the better you prepare, the better you can defend yourself.

Therefore, continue to stand strong even if you must stand alone. Defend yourself against these wackos, no matter what.

They may not change their behavior. However, you’ll feel better just knowing you saw these creeps for who they are and stood up to them.

This post is all about why bystanders to bullying join your bullies and how you should see them for the kind of people they are.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying: 13 Subtle Signs to Look for.

April 17, 2025April 17, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know how to recognize a victim of bullying? Here are all the signs you need to know about.

If you look closely, you will recognize a victim of bullying. You will be able to tell it in their body language and the way they carry themselves.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recognize a victim of bullying by reading their body language.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to help a person who is bullied. Moreover, you will be able to watch your own body language if you’re a victim yourself.

This post is all about how to recognize a victim of bullying so that you can not only monitor your own non-verbal communication, but reach out to other victims by recognizing theirs.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying

There are certain things you see in a victim that screams just that… “victim!” If bullies can point out victim material a mile away, then why can’t people who aren’t bullies?

When You Look into The Face of a Victim of Bullying

If you pay close attention, you see the anguish. Also, you can see the desperately yearning to belong. They’ll have hopelessness and despair in their eyes. The victim will constantly wonder if things will ever get better.

You also see fear in their eyes. Moreover, it will come from knowing they could be physically or psychologically attacked at any moment. Maybe even killed!

Other times, you’ll see the sadness. The victim will want to cry. However, they won’t dare to. They’ll be too afraid of looking weaker than they already look to others.

You won’t hear the silent pleas for help. Why? Because most people won’t help victims. Therefore, they know that usually, help never comes.

Most victims have a lack of trust in humanity. How can you trust after people have let you down too many times?

Moreover, you’ll see the exhaustion. The constant battle can wear you out. Victims yearn for peace. They desperately want the war to stop.

They’ve forgotten what it’s like to relax, breathe, and not have to fight. But more than anything else, you see the determination to survive another day.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Know the Body Language of Targets

Bullies bully many of their victims long term. Many do it over a period of years. Imagine what that does to the victims’ self-esteem.

Low self-esteem, sadly, comes out in a person’s body language.

Therefore, victims of bullying are nervous people. Is it any wonder they constantly walk on eggshells?

This goes especially in social situations. It’s why victims of bullying tend to monitor every action and every word that comes out of their mouths?

And why not? Bullies have beaten them down. In fact, they’ve stripped them of their entire person-hood.

You’re always on guard. And that’s a crappy way to live.

Are they nervous and afraid or are they lying?

It depends on context.

Consequently, people accuse victims of bullying of lying about the bullying they suffer. Why? Because people mistake nervousness for having something to hide.

If you ever read “Othello,” by William Shakespeare, you’ll get a clearer picture of this heartbreaking scenario.

Moreover, this is why people call this, “Othello’s Error.”

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Othello’s Error

Othello’s Error often happens in police interrogation rooms and principal’s offices.

It comes from Shakespeare’s play, “Othello.” In the play, the main character, Othello, assumes that his wife, Desdemona, is having an affair.

In reality, Desdemona is innocent

He questions her in a aggressive and volatile manner. As a result, the poor wife becomes nervous. Even worse, the angry husband takes her nervousness as a sign of guilt.

Sadly, his often occurs in real life.

For example, bullying victims become nervous when someone questions them aggressively. The questioner then misreads the response.

They take it as a sign that the person is hiding something. Sadly, this is how many people take blame for something they didn’t do.

Most people view nervousness as a sign of deception and confidence as a sign of honesty and trustworthiness.

As we know, bullies are well-known for fake confidence and false bravado. However, victims of bullying are always nervous, and rightfully so.

Who wouldn’t be if they were constantly bullied and attacked?

People tend to rush to the narrative the fits what want to be true. Therefore, should it be any wonder that people blame targets and let bullies go scot-free?

Sadly, after this goes on for so long, targets learn to expect more of the same. And they usually get it.

In other words, the expectation of such treatment brings more of the same. So, the target grows more nervous with each occurrence.

And the more nervous the victim grows, the more suspicious others become of them. Therefore, people often make mistakes in the decoding. Not the observation!

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

13 signs a person is a victim of bullying

1. Lack of Eye Contact.

Because of severe bullying and abuse, many victims are too afraid to even look people in the eye. This goes specially for those on the Autism Spectrum!

Moreover, when people bully you to the point that you fear looking at them, it’s a terrible thing. Lack of eye contact can signal deception, yes.

However, it’s usually not the case with victims of bullying. When a person is suffering from bullying or any type of abuse, it usually conveys terror.

Therefore, we must look at context. We must ask ourselves these questions. “Have I witnessed others consistently bullying this person?”

“Are there other non-verbal signals from this person besides the inability to look at people?” This is where the ability to read clusters of body language comes in handy.

If the person is shaking, sweating, licking their lips and touching their neck, you might be able to make a more accurate guess.

Again, targets of bullying are anxious. Who wouldn’t be if they were relentlessly bullied?

Therefore, before you make snap judgements, assess the person carefully. Don’t automatically assume that the victim is lying.

2. Submissive Body Language

Many targets of bullying also display submissive body language. No surprise there. They have endured bullying so severe that they’ve learned to be submissive just to survive.

The submissive person has lost all sense of their worth. Moreover, they’re afraid to make their own decisions.

Why? Because they fear they might make the wrong one and be bullied worse for it.

3. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

The Person is Overly Forgiving

Bully victims tend to be overly forgiving. Why? Because they want to rock the boat.

Rather than risk the chance of conflict, victims of bullying take the path of least resistance. It’s easier and less risky for them to go along with the abuse.

Think about it. They already get enough of it from their bullies, be it at school, work, or home. Therefore, the last thing these victims want is to do anything to make it worse.

4. Downcast eyes

In other words, victims of bullying may hold their heads down and look down all the time. Understand that this type of bullying only brings about more bullying.

Why? Because it’s a sign of low self-esteem. And bullies take notice right away!

5. They have a sheepish look on their face

These victims will usually have a sheepish look on their faces. This is a dead giveaway because a sheepish look conveys shame.

Therefore, bullies will read it and take advantage.

6. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Staying Motionless to avoid drawing attention

Many victims will keep from moving to avoid drawing attention. Bullies can see through this too. They see this as a juicy opportunity. Therefore, they’re likely to pounce.

7. Protective Behaviors

Victims of bullying often have closed body language. They may cross their arms in front of their torsos. Also, they might cross their legs or hunker down into their shoulders, hiding the neck.

This signals self-protection.

8. Bad Posture

Another thing they do is display bad posture. They may slouch when they stand or sit in their chairs.

9. Over-Apologizing

You always notice a victim of bullying because the person apologizes for everything. Over-apologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse.

Realize that you only apologize because you’re scared, not because you’re truly sorry. It’s a trauma response. The good news is that you can kick that habit if you want to.

10. How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

They’re too quiet.

Many victims are also afraid to talk to people because they’re afraid of saying something foolish or offensive and again getting persecuted for it

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself and go about your business.

However, it seldom works because bullies are like pit bulldogs. They can smell fear from a mile away. Being reserved and staying out of the way tends to bring more bullying.

They fear looking too friendly. Therefore, victims of bullying typically don’t bother to greet people. And people often mistake it for being stuck up or standoffish.

11. They fear being seen in public.

Victims are fearful of going out because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

12. They’re Needy and Clingy.

Many victims of bullying will bend over backwards to win friends. They’ll do desperate things to win approval and even put up with shoddy treatment.

You’ll be able to point these people out easily. Why? Because they’ll crawl behind people who don’t value them.

However, they only repel good people and attract bullies when they do these things.

13. They’re People Pleasers.

Most victims of bullying try to please everyone because they think it wins them approval. They’ll say yes when they really want to say no.

Moreover, they’ll put up with disrespect just to avoid conflict. In short, they’ll have no boundaries, which only invites more disrespect.

Victim body language is easy to see

The body language that victims display is so easy to spot. However, most people in authority either ignore it or don’t consider it.

Also, this is the body language that attracts bullies, users, and abusers!

Bullies can pick up on this body language from a mile away. And they will instantly think, “target!” and take full advantage. Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, you must watch your body language.

It won’t be easy. However, if you want to stop looking like bully-bait, you can do it. I believe in you.

All you have to do is catch yourself displaying any of the above nonverbal cues. Then, you can correct it.

How to Recognize a Victim of Bullying:

Stop Looking Like a Victim

When you catch yourself slouching, sit or stand up straight. If you see that you’re looking down, hold your head up and look straight ahead.

Also, uncross your arms and legs. Start making eye contact with people. And when people do you wrong, don’t be so forgiving.

Begin seeing your worth and setting boundaries. Lose the sheepish look and replace it with the look of confidence.

Do these things and your situation will likely improve. Realize that you don’t need permission to be yourself. You have every right to exist!

Things may get worse before they get better. However, it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

This post is all about how to recognize a victim of bullying so that you can better pinpoint victim body language in others and in yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It

4. Disadvantages of Being a People Pleaser: 7 Consequences of Putting Yourself Last

5. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

How “Good People” Become Willing Participants in Bullying

November 19, 20218 Comments

Even the best and kindest of people can help bullies to destroy a target. Oh yes! It’s true!

Many times, good people are either scared or duped into joining bullies in destroying targets. Understand that your bullies have either intimidated or lied to these people until they finally succeeded in turning them all against you.

What’s worse? These people really and truly do not believe they’re bullying you. They don’t see it as meanness and an attempt to cause another human being to suffer intense pain. People who willingly join with bullies and take part in torturing and tormenting another person do not think that what they’re doing is evil and sadistic. No.

What these people believe is that what they’re doing is good and morally right. Remember that you’ve been labeled immoral. Bullies have painted you as an evil adversary who needs to be punished.

Although the reality is that you’re totally innocent and wrongly persecuted, perceptions (opinions and attitudes) are everything, and bullies can easily distort others’ perceptions to fall in line with their narratives. And sadly, everything in life is based on appearances, and no one cares about what’s behind them.

Understand that, one by one, the “good” people will be sucked into the bullies’ smoke screens. And, one by one, they’ll join forces with the bullies in defeating “the evil enemy.”

These good people will gradually distance themselves from you. Then, little by little, they’ll join in the gossip and defamation of your character.

Again, these bystanders and witnesses don’t see what they’re doing as bullying. They genuinely believe that what they’re doing is a good thing- they’re only doing it for the greater good- the good of the school, alumni, and staff. They’re doing it for the sake of the company and people in it. They’re only showing loyalty and trustworthiness to the group. They’re heroes.

I want you to realize that this is how good people do bad things to innocent people. When this happens, the fact that you’re innocent and undeserving of the abuse and brutality just doesn’t come into it.

Also, understand that there are benefits that come with siding with a group against “the enemy” and few people will forgo those benefits.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

A Short Reminder to Targets of Bullying

July 31, 20212 Comments

Anytime bullies escalate their abuse- anytime they increase their name calling and double their efforts to besmirch you, it only means they’re scared to death and desperate to contain the threat that you are to them. They see you as a threat to their perceived status and power.

Therefore, they feel they must double down on the abuse. What they don’t realize is that they only make themselves look desperate and pathetic. Their blatant repetition and redundancy is so telling. Bystanders and witnesses to their deplorable behavior might not say the quiet part out loud but trust me, they see it, and they think it.

And rest assured that the ones who take the bullies’ side already know who the good guy is, only they’ll never admit it because they’re too scared of becoming the next target.

Always remember that. You have more power than you know. Bask in it.

How to Use Your Bullies’ Attacks Against Them

March 8, 2021Leave a comment

You drag them out.

What do I mean by this?

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.” When you do this, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again- drag them out until they become boring and redundant.

I won’t kid you; this technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time we are attacked, our first instinct is to jab back with attacks of our own. But sadly, this usually proves ineffective as it only pulls us down to the bully’s level.

Also, although this method can be effective in the workplace, it’s much harder and usually takes much longer to have an effect as adults are more tenacious and stealthier with their bullying. This strategy works much better in the school environment.

Respond, yes. But react, no.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above, then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking stupid. Because, when you don’t give them the response they want (which is for you to attack them back by name-calling, yelling, screaming, or cursing), their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until it gets so old and stale that others outside the bully/target dynamic get thoroughly sick of hearing the bullies that they no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the bullies’ fakery and the childishness of their attacks. You also expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they thought was their strength. Instead of turning their “audience” against you, they end up alienating them because bystanders become bored after a while.

Sadly, I didn’t know this at the time I was a target.