Tag: bullying

unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

what is deliberate indifference

Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

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‘Want to know about deliberate indifference and the most common reasons bystanders won’t help victims? These are the proven most common reasons victims of bullying need to be aware of.

deliberate indifference

Being bullies is bad enough but when others blatantly do not care to help you or acknowledge that people are abusing you, it’s much worse. Therefore, as someone who’s been on the receiving end of it, I’m giving you all the details about deliberate indifference.

In this post, you will learn exactly what deliberate indifference is and all the possible reasons bystanders won’t help you when others bully you.

Once you learn this value and life-changing information, you will be better able to take the best recourse to deal with and possibly alleviate your situation.

This post is all about deliberate indifference and bystanders’ reasons for failure to help that every victim of bullying must know.

Deliberate Indifference

You not only never forget the bullies, but you also remember the people who were there- the people who had the power to help you but did nothing.

Many times, the bystanders who see people bully you never try to intervene and stop the attacks, nor do they speak up on your behalf.

As much as I hate to say it, I was guilty of the same thing years ago. When I watched people bully a few others, I said and did nothing. Why? Because I thought that my voice wouldn’t make a difference if I did speak up. Additionally, other times, I was just damn glad that, for a change, bullies weren’t targeting me.

I was relieved that, finally, someone else taking the heat for a change.

For this, I am very remorseful and would like to apologize to all the other targets I left to fend for themselves. I’m truly sorry.

With that said, here’s the deliberate indifference definition:

According to the LSD Law Website, “deliberate indifference is a term used in criminal law to describe a situation where a person is aware of a problem or danger, but chooses to ignore it or take no action to address it. It can also refer to a lack of interest or concern about something.”

https://www.lsd.law/define/deliberate-indifference#:~:text=Definition%3A%20Deliberate%20indifference%20is%20a,interest%20or%20concern%20about%20something.

Although it happens during the commission of a crime, which is why it’s a legal term, it also happens during incidences of bullying as well.

5 Deliberate Indifference: Reasons Bystanders don’t help victims of bullying

1. They’re afraid of arousing the bullies’ anger and becoming the next target.

No one wants to be a target of bullying. I get that. Many bystanders fear getting involved, and for good reasons. However, many bystanders do have some power because they’re high on the social hierarchy.

And the higher they are in the pecking order, the more weight their words and actions carry. In other words, if some of the bystanders are extremely popular, chances are good that other bystanders will follow their lead.

Moreover, it’s more likely that the bully will leave you alone. There’s strength in numbers.

So, why won’t they use their power to help you when you’re being bullied?

It’s because they fear that speaking out in your defense would automatically weaken their social position. In other words, they’re afraid of losing their popularity.

Therefore, they either watch the attacks without doing anything, or worse. They join in, hoping to further raise their social status.

2. The bystanders see the bullies’ torment of you as entertainment.

Understand that bullies always bully you in front of an audience. In other words, bullying you is a performance to them.

Your bullies are performing in pubic to show their superiority, strength, and power. Moreover, they wish to to humiliate and embarrass you.

During altercations between bullies and targets, bystanders immediately gather around to watch it go down. Moreover, most witnesses will stand around, laughing and pointing fingers.

Many of them cheer and egg the bully on, stirring it up to get more entertainment. Consequently, all this does is encourage the bullies to continue and even escalate the abuse.

Sadly, as long as it isn’t them or someone they love getting dogged out or having their brains beat in, most bystanders think it’s funny to see it happen to someone else.

Therefore, instead of helping the target, bystanders will automatically whip out their smartphones and record the confrontation. They can then watch it later, send the film to their friends, and have another big laugh over it.

However, it’s not the least bit funny to you. It’s painful and humiliating. It can be devastating to a if you’ve already been a target of bullying for an extended time. And if you’re not careful, it can drive you over the edge if you let it.

It’s sad when the only entertainment people get is to see someone get hurt. It only goes to show that these people don’t get enough of it otherwise.

3. Deliberate indifference: The bystanders themselves either dislike or hate you.

In many cases, bullies run vicious smear campaigns and turn everyone against you. Therefore, when an altercation finally breaks out, the bystanders refuse to help you. Why?

Because they think you deserve the abuse. It’s heartbreaking. However, in a case like this, the bystanders secretly or openly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

They may stand around snickering. Moreover, the bystanders may join the bullies in torturing you.

The bystanders are probably too cowardly to attack you or they’re afraid they’ll get into trouble. Therefore, the bullies are proxies to them.

In other words, the bullies are only doing to you what the bystanders wish they had the stones to do themselves

So, they get complete satisfaction in seeing other people stick it to you. Bystanders often hate victims so much that they would defend a total stranger before protecting someone they hate so intensely.

4. They don’t want to get involved.

Many bystanders figure that it’s none of their business and choose not to get involved. Again, many bystanders are afraid of becoming victims themselves if they intervene.

Therefore, they figure it’s much safer to just stay out of it and pretend like they didn’t see anything. See no evil, hear no evil, speak no evil.

5. Deliberate indifference: The bystanders are in a rush.

In other words, they feel that they just don’t have the time. They’ve got things to do and helping you would only slow them down.

These bystanders are so indifferent that they won’t even stop and watch. They will only pass by and keep going because they’re in a hurry to get somewhere.

6. some bystanders are notorious gossips and are just there to have a story to tell later.

People who are gossips are notorious cowards. Therefore, they’ll definitely not help you. Instead, they’ll stand back and watch your bullies pummel you. And they’ll watch with glee!

In fact, they’re the nosiest people on the planet! As soon as these people hear the first sign of commotion, they’ll break their necks, rushing to the scene to see what’s happening.

Realize that these are the kinds of people who constantly wait, with bated breath, for any drama to pop off so that they can have juicy gossip to share later.

Moreover, they won’t leave until the confrontation is over because they want to get everything. Then, once the brouhaha is finished. They’ll run and give their friends and others who weren’t there to see it the latest scoop.

And know this about gossips. They do this because it’s the only way they can feel validated and important. As long as they have the latest gossip to spread, they feel good about themselves.

7. They’re sadistic.

Some people just enjoy watching others suffer and seeing the pain on their faces. Moreover, they love seeing emotional reactions, such as crying.

Therefore, this brings us back to reason number two. They get free entertainment from watching bullies bully you.

Whatever the reason they don’t help. Know that they don’t care about you. Period. It’s all about them and what they can get out of it or not get out of it.

However, understand that, no matter what their reasons are,  bystanders who do nothing to stop the attacks only silently support and encourage the bullies. Not many people think about this.

Any abuse you don’t report, you support. And what you tolerate, you encourage. In other words, these bystanders are just as guilty as the bullies who perpetuate the attacks against you.

However, some bystanders either don’t understand or underestimate the power they have, especially in large numbers.

When witnesses speak up for you, the bullies will likely stop and leave you alone. And the sad reality is that, when it comes to bullying, there are too many bystanders and not enough upstanders.

This post was all about deliberate Indifference to give you all the answers as to why bystanders refuse to help victims when bullies attack.

1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

5. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

physical bullying definition

Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

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‘Want to know what you should do if you endure physical bullying. Here are the self-protection measures I and many other overcomers of bullying swear by.

physical bullying

Being punched, kicked, choked, and shoved plagues millions of victims in school, at work, in the neighborhood, and in the home each year.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the physical bully. Moreover, you’ll discover the mindset behind this kind of abuse.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be better able to protect yourself against them. Here is what you can do if a bully thinks they’re entitled to put their hands on you.

This post is all about physical bullying so that you can know what’s behind it and how to defend against it.

First, let’s learn the exact mindset and motives of this dangerous type of abuse.

The Psychology Behind Physical Bullying

These types of bullies use force because of an inner sense that they otherwise would have no influence over people. When people dare to disagree with, defy, thwart, or worse, ignore them, they automatically think:

  • “Nobody will listen to me.”
  • “I can’t get anywhere with anyone.”
  • “They don’t value me.”
  • “They don’t respect me.”
  • “I can’t get any cooperation out of anyone.”
  • “I can’t get any satisfaction.”

And the list goes on and on…

This causes them to feel weak and defeated. Therefore, they use force and violence to get their point across because it’s the only thing that works for them.

People who use force Are the Weakest of All

However, that is weakness because people only submit because they don’t want the bully to beat them up. In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True persuasion or influence is having someone do something for you because they want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum: They either have total control, or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

People who uses Physical bullying often compare themselves with others.

They see themselves as less effective than others when it comes to persuasion and influence. They feel that they’re no good at getting others to cooperate or at being in command of circumstances and situations.

Therefore, in their intense anger and rage, these bullies shift the blame. They shift blame from their own sense of powerlessness to the behavior of their targets.

In other words, hese people then see their targets as their enemies or adversaries. So, they feel that they must punish and destroy these targets.

Using this kind of Violence for Anything Other Than Self-Defense is Weakness.
  • “(The target) is wrong for defying me.”
  • “He never listens to me.”
  • “She never pays attention to me.”
  • “That loser is not giving me the respect they owe me.”

When these people shift the blame onto their targets, they are able to blunt the pains of their frustrations and disappointments. Why? Because anger and rage are less unpleasant than sadness and hopelessness.

Again, I want you to realize that this is weakness in and of itself.  These individuals may look strong and mighty as they’re beating up on some poor helpless human being. However, what they really are is weak.

In fact, they’re the weakest of all other types of bullies. And it’s simply because they can’t get power any other way. The only way they can get it is to use the fear of physical harm and yes, even murder.

Outside of their use of fear and bodily harm, these bullies are totally ineffective. They have no gift of gab, charm or seductive powers. In other words, they cannot get people to do what they want them to do through the use of persuasion.

those who use physical bullying are No Different Than Rapists

I’ll use rapists as an example: The reason why most rapists rape isn’t only about power over another. Put bluntly, it’s because they couldn’t get sex any other way.

Maybe they have no game- they have a hard time seducing a woman to go to bed with them. It could be that they don’t know how to flirt with or court a woman effectively.

Moreover, they may be creepy or unattractive and women find them repulsive. Either way, they’re a turn off to them, which means that they are ineffective and powerless.

Therefore, the only way they can get sexual gratification is to use force and violence- rape!

Anytime anyone has to physically threaten you to make you do what they want, it only means that you have all the power, not them. Yes, they may beat the crap out of you, but chances are good that you don’t have to resort to that kind of behavior to get your needs met.

And your scratches, bruises, and broken bones will heal. But your bullies’ stupidity and lack of social intelligence, powers of persuasion, and people skills are things they are stuck with- forever!

And if nothing else, remember this! You have a God-given, animal right to defend yourself from harm. If a bully is pounding on you, it’s no use to rely on the school, workplace, and sometimes the law to protect you. You must learn to protect yourself and if that means throwing up your dukes, so be it!

Should you defend yourself from physical bullying by hitting back?

This seems to be the question on everyone’s mind these days, especially in the notoriously politically correct climate in which we live. The media and politicians vehemently discourage fighting violence with violence.

Moreover, you’ll hear statements from others, such as:

  • “Be the bigger person and walk away.”
  • “Two wrongs don’t make a right?”

I’ve heard them all.

Using more peaceful solutions, walking away from the bully and reporting it sounds good. However, sometimes peaceful solutions don’t work because they won’t let you be peaceful.

If you don’t stand up for yourself, the bully will only continue to come after you and hurt you. Also, everyone who knows you will see you as a punching bag at school or work and everywhere else.

Why? Because when word gets around that one person can hit you and get away with it, everyone else will think they can too. They’ll peg you as the school or the community whipping boy. That’s no way to live.

In the middle of a physical attack, the last resort is the only option you take.

So, How do you respond to it? here it is:

When a bully physically attacks you, you have a God-given, primal, animal right to defend yourself from being harmed. I state this with full conviction!

Therefore, if a bully hits you first, haul off and knock his block off! And when you do, don’t just give him a love pat. Deck the creep with the strength of your entire body- hit so hard that the bully has difficulty getting back up.

Then unleash a hail of hard licks so that he doesn’t get up. Because once the bully gets up, he will charge you!

Yeah. I know it isn’t the “politically correct” thing to do. But when someone is harming you, all that jazz about political correctness and being the bigger person goes out the window, and the gloves are off.

Make physical bullies Not want to put their hands on you ever again!

The only thing you should think of at this point is how to disable the bully. Additionally, you want to give him such a bad memory that he’ll never even think about coming for you again.

You aren’t a troublemaker or a brute for this, folks! It’s called self-defense!

Again, punch the bully’s lights out! School stuff may suspend you from school, and managers may fire you from work. You may even go to jail for a night or two. However, people are much more vicious with physical attacks nowadays.

Furthermore,  if you just let someone smack you around, they’ll only intensify the beatings until they hurt you bad enough to send you to the hospital or worse! And you’d much rather them suspend me, fire me, or take me to jail than to spend a month in the hospital or end up six feet under.

Nevertheless, you may not condone fighting. Although you may need to fight many times in school, you may hate it each time you have to. However, when you’re a 5’4″, 120-pound girl being jumped and most of the time by multiple assailants, it may be your only option.

Also, if you are a small-built male and the attacker is much bigger than you, it’s not the time to play patty-cake. There will be times when you’re boxed in and cannot go anywhere.

When there’s no other choice, it’s either fight or risk your bullies possibly maiming or killing you. Sometimes the last resort is the only way to protect yourself.

You must let the bully know that you’re not the one to mess with and that you aren’t afraid to fight back if necessary.

There will be others who may disagree with this post, and that’s okay. I am very thick-skinned now and rarely do I get offended. I can agree to disagree. But I will do what I have to do to protect my well-being and my life if ever I’m in physical danger.

So, if all else fails, go ahead and whoop that ***!

This post was all about physical bullying and why you should defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

4. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

cognitive dissonance meaning

Cognitive Dissonance: 5 Ways It Plays a Huge Role in Bullying

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Do you want to know about cognitive dissonance and the huge role it has in incidences of bullying. Here we discuss how it leaves you standing alone and perpetuates more bullying.

cognitive dissonance

Sadly, most bystanders, witnesses, and members of authority have cognitive dissonance. Especially when it comes to incidences of bullying in school, the workplace, and in the community. However, it only serves to embolden bullies and abusers. Also, it multiplies the sufferings of victims and targets.

In this post, you will learn all about this psychological mechanism so that you can call it by name.

After you learn about this form of denial, you’ll confidently call it what it is the next time bystanders do nothing and claim they didn’t see your bullies attack you.

So What is Cognitive dissonance?

According to Very Well Mind, it is “the mental discomfort that results from holding two conflicting beliefs, values, or attitudes.”

Human nature dictates that people would rather hold onto their attitudes, perceptions, and beliefs. Therefore, when what they see and hear conflicts with those long-held perceptions, it causes them to feel uncomfortable.

For example, you have a bullied coworker and bullies and their followers have defamed the person for years. Moreover, people at work may have seen the victim break down or snap. And why not? Almost anyone would break under the pressure after suffering relentless bullying for so long.

As a result, the bullies only weaponize the victim’s perfectly normal response and twist it to make it look like the person is a bad person or they need help.

Therefore, everyone else in the company thinks this person is either unhinged or they’re just a terrible person who doesn’t have good temperament. Even worse, they’ve all held those beliefs for years.

Then, one day, someone who really knows the bullied coworker starts working for the company and tells them what a great person the victim really is. The friend will even provide some kind of evidence that proves it.

However, the other workers only get angry at the friend for telling the truth and contradicting their perceptions. They then begin to bully the victim’s friend and escalate the abuse of the victim a hundred fold!

Moreover, the more the friend explains that the victim really is a good person once people at work get to know them, the more the blind coworkers double down in their attitudes. Consequently, they also triple the abuse.

the above scenario is what cognitive dissonance is and what is does.

This psychological defect only comes from pride. In other words, the bullies and everyone else will never admit that they had the victim all wrong.

To admit that they messed up would mean admitting they treated the victim like crap. Moreover, they would risk losing face and possibly their jobs.

This is why the truth angers most people who deny it. And you don’t see CD in only cases of bullying and abuse. You also see it in politics and in family cases of divorce.

Moreover, cognitive dissonance can show up after a bad breakup.

Another example would be back in the 1400s, when people thought the world was flat. After Christopher Columbus discovered that it was round, most people refused to believe it and ridiculed him.

Again,  most people refuse to believe something even if proof of it is right under their noses. In other words, they may see the opposite of their perceptions with their own eyes and still refuse to believe it.

Another Example of Cognitive dissonance

Here’s another example. You’re bullied in school and you come to the office with bruises and cuts all over your face. You report your bullies beat you up in the schoolyard.

The brutes that beat the mess out of you happen to be stars on the football team and college-bound students with stellar grades. Moreover, their families are either big time mobsters or they’re high officials in the city government.

The principal, who admires the bullies and knows their families well, swears up and down that you’re lying. He accuses you of doing it to yourself to make the attackers look bad and get them into trouble. Or, he may accuse you of having someone else beat you up and blaming those innocent bullies for it.

So, you give the names of the other students who stood around watching the entire thing. When the principal calls them all in, they each claim they didn’t see the bullying when you know doggone well they did see it.

You saw them standing around watching as the bullies attacked you. The principal then blames you and gives you a three-day suspension while your assailants get off Scot free.

However, tell the principal that you’re well aware of the cognitive dissonance everyone has. Then watch his chin hit the floor as the shock grabs him by the boo-boo!

You’ll practically hear him thinking, “Where the hell did this kid learn that?”

What happens when you meet one of your bullies at the ten-year reunion?

You meet your bully or bullies at the ten-year reunion with your spouse and children. You’re civil to them. Then you tell your family that these people bullied you in school but you rose above it.

Your bullies hear this and respond with denial, anger, or indignation.

Or,  you see them at the reunion and they bully you again, in front of your family. Moreover, they throw subtle digs at your spouse and kids because your spouse tells some of the classmates that you’re such a great husband/wife and that you couldn’t have picked a better life partner.

The point to this story is this.

Bullies don’t want to notice anything about you that forces them to remember that you are generally a good person.  They don’t want to see proof that you are respected and very well-loved.

In other words, your bullies will deny that you’re a kind and thoughtful person and not deserving of brutal treatment.

And they for sure don’t want to remember that they were the ones who made school hell for you and caused you so much pain. In fact, they refuse to see you as a human being, deserving of the same rights and considerations as everyone else.

The reason why bullies do NOT want to see these things is that it would only prick at their consciences and make them feel dirty!

Cognitive dissonance: this bares repeating

Regardless of the facts, of what you say or do, or of your intentions, your bullies will take everything out of context. Moreover, they will misconstrue and spin it to support their narratives, whatever they may be.

Deep down inside, your bullies, their followers, your former friends who have been turned against you- they all know that you’re a great person.

Believe me, they are very much aware of your kindness, your big heart, and of your potential, only they would never in this lifetime admit it. Because to admit it would be to convict themselves.

Admission of your positive qualities would be an admission of their guilt! That they were in the wrong and that they are a bunch of cruel monsters!

Therefore, to save face and not feel like total scumbags, they can’t afford to acknowledge the truth. Because, again, to do so would be to demonize themselves.

And you can bet that if you happen to run into one or more of your former bullies from school or work at the supermarket, the gas station, or anywhere else in public, they will automatically turn their heads and walk away- fast!

However, you must understand where it all comes from.

Don’t feel rejected. And don’t feel the least bit upset about it. You must see it for what it is, and what it is, is guilt! It’s nothing personal.

Realize that each time they see your face, it only reminds them of the horrible things they did to you in the past, and they feel dirty!

No one wants to feel dirty.

Therefore, when this happens to you, don’t let it shake you. Don’t feel rejected because it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Moreover, they’re trying to bury feelings of shame and they’re afraid you might expose them.

just smile when your old bullies turn and run.

Because that’s what they’re doing. They feel very uncomfortable around you. Therefore, you have power over them now. Why? Because the very sight of you intimidates the hell out of them. Guilt is a very powerful but uncomfortable emotion and it can cut a person to the quick.

However, bullies with NPD may not feel this guilt as most people with this disorder don’t. They may give you dirty looks instead. But still, you have power over them otherwise, they wouldn’t even waste the energy of a look. Instead, they’d just go on their marry way.

This post was all about cognitive dissonance so that you can confidently call it out when you see it. Moreover, you can take advantage of your bullies’ discomfort by using it as a self-esteem booster.

1. Know Your Enemy: 7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies

2. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

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‘Want to know about school choice and why it’s a godsend if people bully you or your child at school? Here are the reasons school choice is essential for bullied children and teens.

school choice

School Choice is an absolute must for bullied children and teens. Without it, targets would be stuck in a school that hates them.

Moreover, they’d be trapped in a cycle of bullying and abuse with no way to escape. Also, the bullies would be even further emboldened because they would know that their targets couldn’t get away.

It’s a dark side of human nature that, if bullies know you’re trapped, they have a strong sense of glee and become more brazen. Then there’s no limit to how far they’ll take the abuse.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about school choice. In that, you’ll find out that, if you’re one of those unfortunate children and teens who suffer severe bullying at school, there is a way out. In other words, you have an escape available.

Once you learn all of this important information, you will be excited. Also, you’ll want to tell your parents and they’ll be more compelled to take the next step to transfer you to a safer and healthier school, where you can flourish!

So, what is school choice?

It is a program that allows families to use public money to access schools beyond their local school district. This includes private schools and, in some areas, home school options.

In other words, school choice is about giving families the ability to choose which schools to send their children to whether or not they can afford it.

This is a beacon of hope for bullied children! Why?

It’s because school choice would give kids the right to choose the school they want to attend regardless of their zip code. However, as of now, zoning legalities trap bullied kids in toxic learning environments.

They keep bullied victims stuck in schools, where their cries for help go ignored by school officials. Moreover, they must endure under the thump of adults who only refuse to acknowledge that they have a culture of bullying at their beloved schools.

These school staff members sweep incidences under the rug and hide evidence of bullying (like camera footage) from parents. Also, they take sides with the bullies, blaming targeted kids for abuse they suffer at the hands of their classmates.

School choice would allow a bullied child easier transfer.

School Choice Vouchers.

The state gives these parents vouchers, which are redeemable in the same amount the state funds the schools per child. Therefore, the parents can take their bullied child out of the dangerous school and, with the voucher, send them to a safe school.

The awesome part is that their child will finally be able to escape the bullies of the old school and start fresh at a new, safe school with a clean slate. Moreover, they will be able to put their best foot forward and make friends at the new school.

Most importantly, they will likely learn better and flourish there. As a result, grades and class performance will skyrocket!

However, teacher’s Unions are dead set against it. But why?

Here are a few reasons:

1. Teachers and schools get funding for each child in attendance per day.

This means that schools will have to compete for these children. No school district likes it when bullied children leave because, with each child who transfers out, they lose funding.

Therefore, sadly, schools tend to care more about the funding than they do the children in this day and  time. And they care even less about the children if they’re victims of bullying.

2. Teachers Unions Oppose School Choice. Why? Because they want to monopolize students and don’t want the competition.

Teacher’s unions have the same attitude. Again, school Choice would give schools and teachers competition for students, and therefore, state funds. Money does corrupt.

3. The handful of bad apples in the educational field (i.e. bullying teachers and school officials may not admit it, but they don’t want to lose their power and control over bullied children.

And if these children start switching schools, bullying school officials will no longer have power over these kids. Therefore, they will need to search for other targets even if they must eat their own. It’s just how bullies are. It’s all about power.

Every child deserves the right to attend a school in which they feel safe. Moreover, they deserve to learn in a school that values them as human beings.

They also deserve to attend a school where they can finally have dignity and respect. And they deserve to learn in an environment where they can grow and flourish without any disruptions.

There are entirely too many special interest groups who wish to squash school choice. In other words, they would rather monopolize our children and grandchildren.

Again, this is all about having power over bullied kids and lining their pockets. It only goes to show that, in the minds of school officials, money and power take priority over the safety and security of children and teens.

This must stop…yesterday!

4. School Choice: Schools tend to take it personally when bullied kids transfer out.

I’ve heard and read stories from parents who’ve transferred their children. The people in the community begin mistreating them for either sending their children to schools outside the community or homeschooling them.

In other words, because these families went against “the system,” the locals either harassed or ostracized them. In worse cases, truancy officers have paid these families visits, even though their child was in a school in another town.

Therefore, it isn’t uncommon for school districts to retaliate against parents who take advantage of the School Choice Program. And if the child in question was bullied in the former school and had their reputations ruined because if it, all the worse.

Therefore, this should tell you that this is all about trying to keep power over the child and the family.

Nevertheless, if your child endures bullying at school, do take advantage of the program.

In other words, fight for the safety of your child even if the school district throws everything and the kitchen sick at you. Expect to get push back from them.

But know that your child is worth it. And I promise you that they will thank you for it later. And why not? By transferring them out of a toxic school, you saved them years of suffering at school.

On the other hand, if victims of bullying aren’t allowed to leave a toxic school, they only suffer day by day.

Without school choice, the psychological impact on victims will be devastating.

Victims of bullying will continue to go to school in fear rather than with the excitement of learning. Their grades will plummet because they’ll be too busy looking over their shoulders rather than concentrating on schoolwork.

Each year, bullied victims die either by their own hand, or at the hands of their bullies because they’re stuck in a school that ignores their cries for help. Also, those that maintain their will to live go through school in fear and struggle with large amounts of mental and physical stress.

Moreover, the constant living in survival mode will exhaust them, which is another reason their academic performance will suffer. Who can learn when they’ll constantly having to fight their way through school?

Most families simply cannot afford to move to a new town. Moreover, they don’t have the funds to transfer their bullied children out of toxic schools and into safe schools where they can learn in peace.

However, school choice would make the transfer of bullied children to safer schools possible. With school choice, bullied children and teens everywhere would have the opportunity to escape their bullies and move on to better learning environments where they can thrive, grow, and flourish!

What School Officials must focus on

Therefore, school boards and teachers’ unions need to stop thinking only about themselves and begin thinking about the welfare of the kids. Moreover, they need to focus on protecting bullied children regardless of what it may do to their pocketbooks.

Just as we would take an abused child out of an abusive home, we should also provide the option of school choice to take bullied kids out of schools with a culture of bullying. It won’t just save them years of pain and the probability of having to look back on a traumatic school experience, it could also save their lives!

This post is all about school choice and why it’s essential for bullied children and teens. Moreover, It’s about the awesome benefits it offers all children whose families take advantage of it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy;

1. Bullying is Abuse: 9 Ways Bullying and Abuse are The Same

2. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

how to disarm a bully at school

How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

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‘Want to know how to disarm a bully so that you can keep your personal power and maintain your dignity? As someone who has overcome bullies this way, I’m giving you the most powerful comebacks that every target of bullying must know about.

how to disarm a bully

Verbal and emotional bullying poisons the minds and the lives of so many victims each year. But what if you could instantly come back with a quick, calm jab? One that throws your bullies off balance, while preserving your dignity, self-esteem, and personal power?

You’re going to learn how to disarm a bully with calm and smart, but ego-deflating comebacks that will leave you standing strong and your bullies, stunned.

Once you learn all these empowering comebacks, you will be ready for any insult, zinger, or smart remark any bullies hurl your way.

This post is all about how to disarm a bully so that you can buffer yourself from even subtle verbal attacks and battle bullying with confidence and poise.

How to disarm a bully

Lets face it, bullies are creative and inventive when it comes to hurling insults and subtle jibes. Moreover, they have a flare for delivering the most brutal and humiliating burns.

Worse even, bullies often do it in public to humiliate you in front of everyone and their mother. Therefore, they blindside you, leaving you shocked, speechless, mortified, and desperately trying to think up a good comeback.

Fortunately, here are a few comebacks you can you use to disarm these brutes and throw them into a tailspin.

1. “Someone must have really hurt you in your past.”

This shifts the blame where it belongs. Onto the bully. By implying that they are an angry, bitter person, you softly and subtly jab them with an insulting comeback without being too noticeable.

In that, you keep your power and make the bully appear weak in front of others while keeping your dignity and self-respect. This little zinger keeps you on the winning end while exposing the bully for the miserable individual they really are. YAY, YOU!

2. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This comeback allows you to apologize without accepting any blame. Moreover, it implies that the bully is the one with the problem and not you.

Therefore, use this comeback when a toxic person calls you a name or hurls an insult.

3. How to Disarm a Bully:

Come back with, “You must have a pretty miserable life.”

Like comeback number 1, this keeps the negative spotlight on the bully by implying that they have no control over their life. Moreover, it suggests that they are only trying to compensate for it by trying to control how you feel about yourself.

Ouch!

It saves your dignity while making the bully look like a weak little punk. Therefore, you win with this little dig because you preserve your personal power.

4. “You don’t have to behave like this to impress people.”

Yikes! With this comeback, you imply that the bully is trying to show out. And a show-off is an insecure person who isn’t happy just being themselves.

In other words, you call the bully a poser without actually using those words. You put the obnoxious person in their place while keeping your dignity.

You little wiseacre, you! Way to go!

5. “Does it make you feel bigger to act like a jerk or are you trying to impress people?”

With this comeback, you more directly call the bully out on their behavior. Moreover, you plant the seed in the minds of anyone around that they either don’t feel good about themselves unless they’re making others feel badly, or they’re trying to show off.

In that, you deflate the bully’s ego. And, if there’s an audience around, all the better for you and worse for the person trying to put you down.

6. How to Disarm a Bully:

“There are other ways of getting attention besides being a (jerk, asshole, etc.).”

Ouch! You’re directly saying that your instigator is trying to get attention. And attention-seekers are pathetic! All the while, you keep your power and your dignity.

Moreover, others will snicker at the bully when you deliver this little stinger.

7. “I wonder what happened to you that turned you into such a (jerk, heel, etc.).”

With this comeback, you imply that the bully is weak and powerless while empowering yourself.

8. “I’m sorry someone hurt you. But that person wasn’t me.”

Again, you make the bully look weak and powerless while making them look miserable and bitter too. Two insults in one!

Moreover, you make yourself look like the smarter person and maintaining your dignity.

9. How to disarm a bully:

“Someone must have really screwed you over in the past. Otherwise you wouldn’t be this angry, bitter person.”

As with the others, you shift blame back to the bully while keeping your dignity. Moreover, you do it by implying that the bully is bitter because someone made them feel powerless and insignificant in the past.

This is how you put bullies in their place without name-calling. You insult them with a softer touch. Good job!

10. How to disarm a bully:

“You’re not a very happy person, are you?”

This is the way to ensure that any blame stays where it belongs. On the bully! This comeback implies that the bully is a miserable soul that can only achieve happiness by insulting others.

Moreover, you make them look powerless over their own lives while maintaining control over your own reactions.

11. “I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.”

With this comeback, you achieve the same results as with number 10.

12. “I’m so sorry you feel so small.”

Ouch! You imply that the bully feels weak and that the only way they can feel strong is to make you feel bad about yourself. Great job!

13. How to disarm a bully:

“Relax. Take a break. You don’t have to work so hard to make people like you.”

Again, OUCH! With this little stinger, you imply that your bully is simping for approval. Therefore, you call them a simp without using the words while empowering yourself.

Note:

These comebacks also work best when done in public, in front of bystanders and witnesses. Therefore, have fun! Because delivering good comebacks to bullies in front of an audience is pretty doggone fun!

But most importantly, it helps you keep your power while prompting the bully to think twice before messing with you again.

How to disarm a bully with body language:

1. When a bully cuts their eyes at you

Return the gesture. Moreover, if she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear. Then, from then on, you’ll be her new source of power.

Therefore, always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose.”

You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge. However, if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.

Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without provocation, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you.

So, always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless, and not one she should mess with.

How to disarm a bully:

It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.

In short, it’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is around ninety percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!

If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice, and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.

Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be lacking in confidence, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless, and secure, practice open body language.

Again, stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away.

Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.

In other words, mirror any hostile body language you get from bullies to disarm them. Why? Because they won’t expect that response from you and it will shock them into not toying with you again.

This post was about how to disarm a bully so that you can maintain your power and keep your dignity.

1. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

examples of social bullying

Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

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Would you like to know several social bullying examples and the reasons bullies try to turn everyone against you? As someone who’s been affected in the past, I’m giving you all the details about social bullying.

social bullying examples

Social bullying leaves it’s victims stripped of not only friends and supporters, but sometimes family members as well. If this is happening to you, then you’re doing all you can to research this type of bullying. Therefore, I’m giving you all the details and social bullying examples so that you’ll be able to name what is happening to you and protect yourself.

You will learn all the ins and outs of social bullying and what you can do to lessen it’s effects.

Once you learn all the aspects of social bullying, you will be able to call it out by name and defend yourself properly against it from now on.

This post is all about social bullying examples and will give you the tiny details about this insidious type of bullying.

social bullying examples

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

Social bullies wreck your good standing in a school, workplace, or community by way smear campaigns of lies, rumors, and gossip.

Before we get into the details and examples, let’s first discuss why bullies attack your reputation and relationships. In other words, what do these bullies have to gain from sabotaging your social connections?

What are the psychological payoffs they get from doing this? Here’s are your answers.

Simply put, bullies attack your relationships and reputation to strip you of power. Once they kill your reputation and break apart your relationships, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack.

In other words, social bullies turn people against you to isolate you. Understand that isolation weakens your position in the social world and leaves you wide open for attack.

Therefore, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. And they can do it without risk of others coming to your defense and holding the bullies accountable.

When everyone turns against you, they’ll no longer support and protect you. Therefore, you’re at the mercy of virtually anyone who decides to bully you.

Bullies know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down because now, they have public opinion on their side. They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions of you finish you off.

First, Bullies Destroy your reputation.

How? By rumors, lies, and defamation.

In the beginning, bullies will plant seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others. Doubt is a powerful tool.

Next, they spread rumors and lies.

Additionally, bullies are proof that offense is the best defense. Drawing first blood is always best because you can only respond in either one of two ways.

1. You could deny the rumors. Moreover, you could even produce evidence that proves your innocence of the accusations.

2. You could ignore the lies and blow your accusers off with a “whatever” and walk away laughing.

But!

Either way, people will still look at you with suspicion.

Social bullying examples: The mechanics of social bullying

1. If you defend yourself and produce evidence to the contrary, the prevailing thought will be,

“There must be some truth to the rumors, otherwise he wouldn’t be defending himself so vehemently.”

2. If you ignore the lies and wave your accusers away with a laugh, others will be even more suspicious of you. Why? Because they’ll think that you have something to hide and are only playing it cool.

Moreover, social bullies know that if they instigate rumors the right way, there’s a possibility that they can get you enraged and rattled. So much so that while defending yourself, you end up making a truckload of mistakes out of nervousness.

This works even better if you haven’t yet established a reputation. Because the smear campaign will only work all the more in the bullies’ favor. However, even if you do have a good reputation initially, the bullies will most likely destroy it because people tend to think the worst of others.

What happens once bullies have destroyed your good name?

Your damaged reputation meets people before you do.

Consequently, this brings loss of opportunities to meet new people. In other words, you lose the ability to move on with new friends.

When bullies and their followers have unjustly slandered or libeled you, even total strangers will no doubt hear of you. Therefore, there’s a strong chance that, by the time you meet them, they will already have their minds made up about you.

Sadly, this is one feature of bullying that crosses very few people’s minds.

Social bullying examples: invisible enemies

What’s even scarier is that you are left completely defenseless against the attacks of strangers. In other words, when you haven’t the slightest idea who your enemies are, how do you know who to watch out for?

Moreover, how do you know who to avoid? It’s impossible to protect yourself from invisible enemies.

This is often the case once bullies have unjustly used smear campaigns against you. It is a situation which is even more dangers because you are walking blind!

You cannot see the enemy. Someone could walk right up to you on the street, in broad daylight, and you wouldn’t know.  Moreover, they could have a weapon hidden on them and you would never know of their intent to hurt or kill you until it was too late.

It will feel as if you’re fighting ghosts.

For example, we lost the Vietnam War because we didn’t know who the enemy was. We didn’t know exactly who was or wasn’t on our side!

Reputation is the decider of merit.

Your reputation will always decide the credit you get even from actions that are innocent. In other words, two different people can do the exact same thing the exact same way.

And each person’s reputation will decide whether the action is brilliant or terrible.
Put simpler, It’s not what you do. It’s who others perceive you to be when you do it.

It’s not the action itself, but who the person is that does it.

Here’s the rub. A person who’s well-liked and has a stellar reputation can write an essay, and others will deem it a brilliant piece.

But let a person who’s despised by everyone and has a lousy reputation write the exact same essay, and others will only view it as a worthless piece of garbage that’s not even worth reading, which brings us to the final conclusion:

Reputation can affect all areas of your life. It can be the difference between having success or failure- in everything! A bad reputation, regardless of whether you deserve it, sets you up to fail.

 However, there’s hope!

Social bullying examples

Although extremely difficult, you can still salvage your reputation and change your life for the better. Here’s how:

1. Move to a different area.

Sometimes you must go somewhere else and start over again. It may be difficult to leave your family behind. However, if you stay in the community where people judge you unfavorably, you’ll never have the chance to move forward.

You may wonder why this is.

It’s because, sadly, the social bullying has gone on for so long that your reputation in the community has become ironclad. Consequently, there isn’t much you can do to change things once something has gained that kind of strength.

In other words, you’ll always be stuck right where you are. Why not pack your things and leave for greener pastures and better opportunities?

Again, the best you can do to better your life is to move away and get a fresh start in a new town. It will be the only way you will find happiness and stability.

2. Find a good cause to fight for and one you’re passionate about.

Any time you fight for a good cause, you will meet like-minded people who are fighting for the same purpose. You and these people will already have common ground.

The cause could be “The Victim’s Rights Movement,” or even “The Anti-Bullying Movement.” Whatever the cause, you will attract those who are fighting for the same things. And you’ll easily make positive connections with them and become life-long friends.

Although many doors get slammed shut and locked, there’s always a way out if you look for it. I guarantee it!

3. when your friends turn against you because of your bullies’ Lies, have nothing more to do with them.

Anyone who claims to be your friend, then believes the lies of social bullies does not deserve your friendship. Also, they were probably never your friend to begin with.

Therefore, walk away from them and reject them if they come back around. This is how you value yourself. It’s how you protect yourself and treat yourself well.

A true friend would never believe any lies and rumors about you. Moreover, they would have enough respect for you to ask you before making such snap judgements.

This post was all about social bullying examples, the mechanics of social bullying, and what you can do to lessen or alleviate the negative affects of it on your life.

1. Know Your Enemy: 7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies

2. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

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With many victims, the bullying they suffer is a vicious  and continuous cycle. Now you might ask, “What do you mean? How can bullying become a cycle?” Here’s how.

the cycle of bullying

Bullies often stick victims in a cycle in which they can’t escape. And when bullies know that the victim is trapped, that’s when they know they have them where they want them. Therefore, you must know how bullying is a cycle that only repeats itself.

In this post, you will learn all about the cycle of bullying. Moreover, you will learn how victims get stuck and how bullies take advantage of it.

After you learn how that cycle repeats itself, you will be prompted to take steps to either take care of yourself or escape the environment altogether.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can recognize when you’re stuck in it and find ways to remedy your situation.

The cycle of Bullying

Let’s describe it like this.

A victim is selected and is bullied relentlessly. Every morning, she arrives at school others only greet her with a barrage of name-calling, taunts, cruel jokes, and ridicule. Moreover, they force her to endure physical assaults and beatings.

Nevertheless, she holds up for a year or two, trying to be strong and brave. She manages to remain calm and cool, and seems to do quite well at it.

However, the bullies are relentless because they want so badly for her to react the way they want her too. So, they escalate the attacks and the abuse becomes more frequent and intense.

It is as if they are trying to bring her down. And the truth is, they are.

The Breaking Point

Finally, so many of her peers have bullied her so much for so long that they finally succeed in driving her to the breaking point.

The target either attempts suicide or has a breakdown of some sort. Maybe she breaks down crying and her sobs are so deep and so uncontrollable that she can’t stop crying. It’s as if a dam has burst and the raging torrent of tears continues to pour forth.

In fact, she’s crying so hard her entire body shakes, quakes, and writhes.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Psychological Treatment and progress of the victim

The victim is admitted to a treatment center for severe depression. She stays there for a couple of months.

 Moreover, while she’s there, she makes progress. She opens up about the bullying she suffers, and people listen. In the treatment center, she is safe.

The victim makes friends out of the other kids there and of the staff as well. They all support her, and she begins to feel good about herself again. Therefore, it seems like she’s beginning to heal and get better.

A couple of months go by and for the first time since she left the bullying environment and arrived at the treatment center, the bullying victim feels like herself again.

She feels re-empowered.

The Victim’s Release and return to the same place that made her sick

The center finally discharges the victim. However, she must return to school, back to the same people who made her sick to begin with.

As soon as she goes back to school, she’s nervous because she knows what’s waiting for her. Moreover, although the others at school can’t prove where she’s been, they can figure it out.

Now there’s the mental health stigma hanging over her. Therefore, the bullies instantly use it against her and only pick up where they left off.

They begin mobbing her again. Additionally, even a few teachers and the principal look down on her, just like before.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The Bullies, Student Body, and Teachers only pick up where they left off.

The principal warns her aloud, in the crowded hall, as she’s changing classes. He says to the victim, “I’m going to be watching you closely.”

Even worse, he tells her this in front of the other students where they can overhear.

The victim continues to behave well. However, the principal, a few teachers, and the student body, view her with suspicion. Instead of acknowledging and encouraging her success, the principal and teachers only continue to let her know that she’s on their radar.

The two months away in the treatment center was intended to help her get well and put her life back together.  Moreover, returning to school was supposed to be a chance to start over.

The School Only Uses Mental Health Stigma to Undo Any Progress the victim has made.

But the school has only branded the victim a mental case. As a result, some of the teachers and the principal, knowingly or unknowingly, begin the process of undoing all the progress this girl has made.

What they should do is pull her aside and tell her in private that they are watching her, but that they admire her for getting help and trying to turn her life around.

However, their justification for their emotional abuse is that it’s to protect the other students who fit in to what’s “normal” and who obey the rules.

In other words, they use this justification to defend the emotional abuse they inflict on the victim and continue to single her out for humiliation.

Therefore, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The school only justifies their abuse and continues to discriminate based on mental health.

The girl’s “loony bin trip” now follows her around like a stalking wildcat. School officials either don’t realize or don’t care about the impact their attitudes and prejudices have on young students.

Therefore, bullies begin the evil process again. They begin trying to break this girl down for a second time.

So, the victim continues to hide her emotions. Therefore, she continues to pretend that everything is okay and that the bullying she suffers isn’t such a big deal.

She does her level best to stay strong and hide the tears which beg to poor forth like a raging torrent. Why? Because she knows that if she ever shows the hurt, the bullies will only bask in it.

They’ll have her where they want her, and the bullies will then move in for the death blow.

Fighting a Losing Battle

Therefore, she holds up for as long as she can. But the reality is that no one can hold up under that kind of pressure for long.

But she continues to stuff her emotions deep down inside, even though it’s tearing her up inside. As time goes on, the bullies escalate their attacks because they see her stoicism as a challenge.

Therefore, the cruel attacks become a game to the bullies. The goal is to break this girl and they want to see what it’s going to take to achieve that goal.

Then, once again, it happens! The victim has another breakdown. After all, no one can bury all that pain forever.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Return to the treatment center

The doctors admit her to the treatment center for the second time. A few months pass and she gets the help she needs.

Again, she is in a safe environment. Therefore, she speaks again about the bullying she has suffered. Caring staff and fellow patients give her support and she begins to heal and get better.

After some time at the center, they finally send her home and her parents take her back to school. The very school where his bullies run amuck. And once she’s back, the bullies have a go at her once again.

Why? Because the poor target is trapped in a school she isn’t safe in. And chances are, she will break down and only return to the treatment center a third time.

Therefore, here’s the cycle.

The victim endures bullying and she has a breakdown. She then goes somewhere and gets help, then heals and gets released. She returns to the same toxic environment and the bullies start the process of breaking her until they succeed and she returns to the center.

Therefore, the cycle replays itself again and again.

The Cycle of Bullying:

To Resolve this problem, the victim will need to transfer schools.

In cases like this, targets must be either transfer to a new school or home school, otherwise, the cycle only continues.

Thankfully, when my eldest son began to be bullied in middle school, his father, stepmother, and I got together and made a plan to transfer him before the bullying had a chance to escalate to a dangerous level. Moreover, it worked!

His grades skyrocketed at his new school and when he graduated, he did so with scholarships! We were so proud!

Therefore, a school transfer is always best when a target suffers bullying and it morphs into a pattern. Why, because once people grow comfortable with bullying a certain victim, it will only intensify.

Moreover, if the target goes to a hospital and gets help, then released back into the same environment that made them sick, they will end up returning to the hospital…again, again, and again, until he leaves the toxic school.

It may take some sacrifice to transfer your child to a new school. Moreover, it may be more expensive. However, it’s a small price to pay compared to a stack of psychiatric bills, or worse, funeral and burial costs.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can understand the cyclical nature of bullying and peer abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

neediness meaning

Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It

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Neediness is not healthy for anyone. Victims of bullying are most susceptible to this condition because bullies have defamed them and turned everyone against them. As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you the 5 reasons being needy repels people and what you can do to overcome it.

neediness

Being to needful isn’t only unhealthy, it’s not a good look on anyone. It’s unattractive and off-putting. Although it isn’t necessarily their fault, victims of bullying often have no friends. Therefore, they can become so desperate for friendship that they exhibit needy, if not self-depreciating behavior.

In this post, you will learn the reasons why neediness runs people off. Also, you will learn ways to overcome it if you’re one of these people whose social life is destroyed by bullies and their defamation.

Once you learn about all the why’s and hows of needy behavior, you will be better able to pinpoint the reasons you do it and how you can change your actions to convey a more confident you.

This post is all about the symptoms of and reasons for neediness that every target of bullying needs to know about so that they can make the changes needed to become stronger and more confident in the face of bullying and lack of friends.

Neediness

Before we get into the reasons and remedies for this bully-induced condition, lets first explain why bullying targets become needy. Also, we’ll discuss why this isn’t your fault if you’re one of those people.

I repeat! It’s not your fault!

Neediness comes from low self-esteem and lack of confidence. Refraining from acting needy can be hard to do, especially if you’re a target of bullying.

The feelings of loneliness and desperation are real. In fact, they’re so real that they can have a death-grip on you after so long.

Remember that humans are hardwired for social connections and relationships. Therefore, it’s not easy to fight the urge to cling to unhealthy relationships and friendships. Especially when most people treat you like an outcast.

However, here’s something people in that situation don’t think about.

Acting clingy is off-putting to others. To be blunt, it’s downright gross! It’s the equivalent of an overpowering stench one must hold their nose and run from to keep from getting sick.

Additionally, active clingy only invites more bullying, abuse, and usery. Moreover, it opens the door for more ridicule.

People also look at you with disgust and contempt. Yes, a few people may feel sorry for you, but do you really want to be pitied?

Another thing this does is give your bullies satisfaction and free entertainment. The last thing you want is to look desperate in front of them and humiliate yourself.

You are not to blame. So, Don’t beat yourself up if you presently struggle with these feelings and behavior.

Again. I understand that feeling of not having any friends. Moreover, I can relate to the longing for friends and human connections. The longing for friendship and, just to be heard and noticed is a normal desire that all humans have.

It’s completely normal to have that deep ache in your soul when people ostracize you. I was there once upon a time. The feeling of the intense, deranged hatred of my classmates and resulting soul-deep pain were overwhelming.

However, I learned the heard way that, if nothing else, you still have your pride and your dignity.  You choose to either keep those treasures or give them away.

But here’s the good news!  if you give them away,  you can always take them back anytime.

5 Reasons Neediness is unhealthy

1. You mistake Tolerance for Acceptance.

Because people have shunned and rejected you for so long, you become ravenously hungry for any morsel of approval. Moreover, you’ll lap up anything that even looks like potential friendship.

However, what may look like acceptance could turn out to be only tolerance.

Anytime you become needy, some people might include them in their groups. But! It won’t be because they like you nor want to be around you.

They’ll only pretend to like you because they feel sorry for you. The last thing you should want is someone’s pity. Yuck! Who in their right mind wants to settle for that?

But wait! It gets worse!

After a while, the pity of your so-called friends will wear thin.

2. you put your heart at risk of being broken. Also, you place your self-esteem at risk of being crushed once again.

The group of so-called friends who pretend to like you put themselves at risk of being made targets themselves. And they know it.

In the minds of the bullies and others, they’re guilty by association. Therefore, instead of being an asset to the group, you become a liability!

As mentioned earlier, your so-called friend group has to pretend to enjoy having you around because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

However, their real feelings about you will only seep out in ways that are not so obvious. In other words, it’ll leak out so subtly that you may not even know it’s happening.

And if you make the slightest mistake or your friends perceive the tiniest slight from you, the floodgates will open.  Then, their real feelings of dislike and hatred will come rushing out like a raging torrent.

Afterwards, they’ll look for any reason to make you go away even if they must treat you with blatant brutality.

3. When you act out of neediness, You likely suffer betrayal.

Your so-called friends will never have your back. In other words, they’ll disappear at the first sign of trouble.

When your bullies come calling, your fake friends will throw you under the bus, then get behind the wheel and run you over a few times. Understand that these people will not value you as a person. Therefore, they won’t care whether you get hurt.

Realize that your friends won’t be the least bit concerned for your well-being.

4. You only draw in people who are predators.

Users and abusers are drawn to neediness like vultures to a carcass. In other words, they seek out people who are desperate to exploit their needs and weaknesses to get what they want from them.

Consequently, once they’ve gotten all they want out of the person, they discard them like a dirty piece of toilet paper. You may not realize it, but you can do better than a bunch of scavengers!

Wouldn’t you rather be alone than to have friends like those?

5. You only humiliate yourself.

When you, in essence, beg for friends, relationships, affection, attention or admiration, others take notice and your value drops like a meteor!

Moreover, you make a complete fool of yourself by chasing after people who aren’t worth spitting on. When you don’t respect yourself enough to only select those who see your worth, you only end up humiliating and degrading yourself.

Stop that right now! Because you’re better than that!

So, How do you overcome neediness?

1.  take steps to repair your self-esteem and boost your confidence.

Repairing your self-esteem is of the most importance!

This means keeping company with and spending your time with uplifting family members who love you and want best for you. Also, put yourself out there and meet new people outside the toxic environment in which people bully you.

Don’t be afraid to smile and talk to people. Although this may be scary at first, you must face your fear head-on. Do it anyway, even if you must do it scared!

Remember that total strangers are the best opportunities for victims of bullying because they’re potential friends. However, don’t act desperate or clingy. Let things flow naturally and things will work out.

2. stop caring what people think.

When you obsess over the thoughts and opinions of others, you make yourself a slave to their approval. Moreover, your own opinions automatically take a back seat.

Understand that you don’t need anyone’s approval, period.

Therefore, stand in your power and begin valuing your own thoughts and opinions. In other words, stop wondering if they will like you and start wondering if you’ll like them.

3. Get some standards.

Needy behavior means having a lack of standards. Therefore, set standards for yourself. This means being choosy in everything, including, friends, dates, and people you have around you.

Don’t settle for anything (or anyone) less than what you want and what you deserve!

4. Overcoming Neediness means removing toxic people and fake friends from your life.

How you take your power back is to cut these life-leeches out off your life and make them irrelevant. Moreover, you do it by speaking your truth and using the abuse they inflicted on you to help others.

Some people just aren’t worth your time and energy. So, be willing to walk away from those who aren’t really for you. This includes, fake friends, users, abusers… anyone who makes you feel bad or who betrays your truth.

Stop wasting your time with people of low loyalty and integrity. Believe that you deserve better and choose your friends wisely!

5. Focus on your goals and pursue your interests.

If you’re too busy focusing on your goals, you won’t have time to worry about how people think of you. Therefore, work toward achieving your goals and dreams.

Instead of chasing after people who haven’t earned your respect, chase after your interests!

6. be willing to be alone for a while.

Real courage and real self-worth sometimes require that you be alone for a while. Moreover, realize that solitude is not a bad thing. As a matter of fact, it’s very healthy and one of the best things you can do for yourself.

Time alone allows you to rest and recharge and gives you time to reflect and get to know yourself. Also, it gives you time to pursue your own interests and a chance to prioritize yourself. So, take advantage of it.

Lastly, let me assure you that you won’t always be by yourself. Be patient and eventually, the right people will find you. It may not happen quickly, but it will happen. I guarantee it.

It happened for me and it will happen for you too!

7. knowing your worth is also one of the keys to overcoming neediness.

In other words, know what you deserve and go after it. Be advised that going after something sometimes means being willing to wait for it!

Stop settling for people and situations that devalue you as a person.

8. believe in yourself.

In other words, believe that you deserve better people in your life. Also believe that they will come along eventually because you are a great person to know.

Self-belief is one of the most important lessons you can ever learn. Therefore, believe in yourself even if you must make positive affirmations to get there.

When you overcome neediness, you turn your pain into power and transform your bullies’ weaknesses into your strength!

Moreover, your bullies’ ignorance becomes your wisdom and you turn their hatred for you into love for others, especially those who are bullied. This is how you raise self-esteem and go from victim to victor.

This post was all about Neediness, the reasons it’s unhealthy, and how you overcome it so that you can take back your power and your dignity.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Needy Behavior: 5 Reasons it Derails Your Social Life

2. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

5. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

bullying teacher

Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

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Have you ever suffered bullying by teachers in school? ‘Want to know the statistics of students who are targeted by school staff and what you can do if you fall into this category?

bullying by teachers in school

It’s bad enough when your fellow students target you. However, when school staff, who are supposed to be adults, target one of their minor students, it’s much worse.

In this post, you will learn the surprising statistics of young students who endure bullying by teachers in school. Also, you will learn what you can do if it happens to you.

Once you learn these stats, you will be surprised to realize that this issue is more common than you know. Moreover, it will prompt you and your parents or grandparents to take the appropriate steps to gather evidence and conduct your own investigation.

This post is all about the number of kids who suffer bullying by teachers in school every year and what they or their families can do for protection.

Bullying by Teachers in School

According to the Better Help website, “In one survey, 45% of teachers admitted to bullying their students.” This is alarming!

Here is something you or your family can do to combat this insidious type of bullying.

1. Document everything in Detail.

If you’re one of the unfortunate 45 percent, you must document everything. And when you write everything down. Remember to use the 5W Rule.

This is especially important when you have a teacher who is bullying you. Why? Because the teacher is the person in authority. Therefore, any reports that they’re bullying will likely go ignored.

Realize that people will take the word of an authority member over yours.

Therefore, you absolutely must document the bullying in great detail. This means using the 5 W’s.

When you use the 5W Rule, you write down What happened, Where it happened, When it happened (the exact date and time of incident), Who was involved and the names of any bystanders, and, if possible, Why it happened.

Therefore, the trick here is to document in the tiniest details possible. Why? Because not only does it help you to keep your story straight, but it’s also admissible in court and in tribunals.

2. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Stay in communication with the school or other entity and save all email exchanges.

You must save all emails you send to the entity and those they send you. Always keep records of these things because it will show you whether they do anything about it.

Moreover, if they send you any bullying or abusive emails, you will have more evidence of their bias against you to present in court.

3. If you live in a one-party consent state, secretly record bullying incidences.

If a teacher is bullying you, I can’t stress the importance of getting it on recording. Now, this is assuming you live in a one-party consent state. This means that you need permission of only one of the parties being recorded. That’s you, of course.

Therefore, you can record the bullying without the possibility of legal consequences.

You can either use a digital audio recorder or a hidden body camera. Personally, I prefer the hidden body camera. However, if you can’t get access to one, a digital audio recorder will do and you can find them at your local Walmart or on Amazon.

Body cams, on the other hand, are only available online. Amazon sells many of them you can choose from.

4. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Take pictures of any bruises, cuts, or scrapes left on the body by school bullies.

Most teachers are too smart to physically bully you. Although they may want to and wish they could, most of them won’t for fear of legal repercussions.

Although a small percentage do use physical violence against students, the teacher is likely to let your bullying classmates do that for them. Therefore, you must take photos of any visible bodily injuries if you’re physically attacked in the bullying teacher’s classroom.

Why? Because the teacher can be charged with neglect or dereliction of duty if they allow another student to harm you. Moreover, you also have cause to sue the school if the injuries are severe enough.

5. Keep records of any medical treatment resulting from bullying at school.

In other words, if a bully in the teachers’ classroom hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, make copies of the records and keep them in a safe place.

Having these materials will make your case more solid and you can press not only criminal charges against the bullies’ but also file a civil suit for damages.

6. Bullying by Teachers in School:

Take pictures of any harsh remarks by the bullying teacher on your report card or assignment papers.

This is also important! If the remarks are too harsh, it will indicate abuse and possible prejudicial treatment.

Moreover, if you make good grades in other classes but seem to fail in the bully teacher’s class, take pictures of the grades on your report card. This will prove the teacher’s bias against you.

7. Get another teacher that you trust to go over any graded papers just in case the bully teacher gives you an unfair grade.

VERY important! If you know for a fact that you did well on a test in this teacher’s class and still get a bad grade, the bullying teacher might have marked a few right answers wrong.

Therefore, get another teacher you trust to go over your paper with you. Because, if a teacher highly dislikes you, they might try to give you a lower grade than you deserve to mess up your future.

Then take a picture of the test paper, circling the right answers that the teacher marked wrong. This will strengthen your case and exonerate you, therefore, securing your future prospects and life-chances.

Bullying By Teachers in School

I can’t stress this enough! You must gather your own evidence in cases like these. I won’t lie to you. Doing this will be tedious. In fact, you’ll need to put in a lot of hard work.

However, when you’re being bullied by any authority member, it’s not the time to be lazy. Remember that you are the only one who can stand up to this type of abuse and you have a responsibility to do so.

Not only to yourself, but to any future students this teacher may bully later.

In other words, you should never sit back and wait for the school to protect you. Because they won’t. Schools have their own self-interests in mind and they will only hide any bullying that happens in their educational institutions.

Again, protecting yourself and standing up to any bullying you suffer is your responsibility! No one else’s!

But Why Do Schools Ignore Bullying?

Again, they do it to save their own reputations. Moreover, most bullies are high academic achievers, athletes, or members of the cheer squad.

All this makes the school look good. Therefore, your school will more than likely only protect these students and find ways to lay the blame on you.

Sadly, in most cases of bullying, it’s not about right and wrong, it’s about who’s doing it and the amount of power they have. Therefore, again, it’s your responsibility to do your own investigations and stand up for yourself. You must be your own voice!

Bullying by Teachers:

Here’s some food for thought.

We know that bullying often goes unpunished and it’s the victims who people scrutinize and punish while the bullies go Scot free.  Moreover, schools and companies sweep incidences of bullying under the rug to save their own reputations. That much, we also know.

Also, governments, local, state, and federal, refuse to pass more robust laws against bullying and mobbing. Why? Because there’s no way you can legislate human nature, even the dark side of it.

More importantly, bullies are experts at making the poor victims look like the instigators. Therefore, I’m not sure if we even should pass laws against bullying. And these are things I advocated for it at first.

However, the more I thought about it, the more I shied away from any laws. Again, bullies are good at reversing the roles and making their victims look like the provocateurs.

Therefore, it is because people blame victims and either let bullies off the hook or give them a slap on the wrist that I’ve stopped agreeing that criminal laws against bullying should be passed.

Think about it. If we criminalized bullying, a lot of innocent victims would end up going to jail or paying fines because the real bullies would find ways to manipulate their way out of it and place blame on their victims.

Again, there’s no way to legislate human nature. It’s impossible. Therefore, victims must be allowed to stand up for themselves and take responsibility for their own well-being.

I believe it’s the only way victims can successfully fight bullying and take back their personal power.

However, this only addresses part of the problem.

Bullying by Teachers in SChool:

Let’s Think outside the box for a moment. ask yourself these questions.

Why do schools ignore bullying and place blame on targets? What other reasons could there be besides to protect their reputations and their star students?

Wait for it!

Could it be to maybe benefit the mental health industry? It may or it may not. However, it’s certainly something to think about.

Due to the mental health crisis in this country, school districts and the mental health industry work very closely together. And why not? We do seem to have an epidemic of depressed and mentally ill youth.

Therefore, understand that mental health is BIG business and, like any other big business, such as big tech, or big pharma, it’s a money machine. A cash cow!

In fact, it’s only a branch of the healthcare industry and big pharma. Remember that public schools are government schools and school officials are elected officials. In other words, they’re politicians.

Are you beginning to see how all this ties together?

Bullying Continues to supply the mental health industry with fresh, new patients every year.

In other words, millions of new patients are made because of bullying. These are people who, otherwise, wouldn’t need psychological help.

As we know, the majority of mental illness, mood disorders, and anxiety disorders are caused by some form of abuse. And bullying is abuse. In fact, peer abuse is just another term for bullying.

Moreover, people who are bullied have a much higher risk of developing a mental illness and going in for psychological and psychiatric treatment.

Even worse, many end up requiring medication to regain stability.

So, should it be any wonder that corporations, schools and many other public entities refuse to properly address bullying and hold bullies accountable? Should it surprise you that they’re so quick to blame innocent victims?

Are you beginning to see the bigger picture here?

This is just a thought that I wanted to throw out there. And this should also give you something to ponder as well.

The 45% of people who are bullied by teachers probably don’t know to do their own investigations and likely haven’t been told how. This is a sad thing because, without proper guidance, they’ll only continue to be victimized.

this post was all about the percentage of people who are bullied by teachers in school and what they can do to not only protect themselves, but stand against this type of abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

bullying victim surrounded by bullies

Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

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If you have a soft spot for those who are bullied, you often ask yourself, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” So, ‘want to know who they are. Here are the 11 characteristics of typical victims bullies like to target that you must become familiar with.

who are usually the victims of bullying

Many victims of bullying get blamed for altercations their bullies provoke because the perpetrators are experts at playing the victim and avoiding accountability. Therefore, it can be difficult for authority members to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

Who are usually the victims of bullying? This can be a tough one for superiors to figure out.

As someone who has dealt with these kinds of situations, I’m giving you all the characteristics of a typical target of bullying so that you will better be able to see through the bully’s facade and calmly call it out.

In this post, you will learn the thirteen traits of the marked person of bullying so that you will be more aware of how bullying effects you.

Once you learn about these victim features, you will be better able to report your bullies much more calmly and lessen your chances of taking the blame for their bad behavior.

This post is all about the traits of the typical victim of bullying so that you can have this information to show your superiors if ever you encounter bullies.

who are usually the victims of bullying?

When bystanders or authority witness bullying, it can be difficult for them to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

But why is this? Because most seasoned bullies are cunning, clever, and covert. In other words, not all bullies resort in physical violence.

Bruises, cuts, and broken bones are easy to see. Therefore, many bullies use psychological tactics and emotional manipulation to bully you.

Moreover, they may use psycho/emotional methods to set you up to either be physically attacked or to get into trouble with authority.

Remember that bullies have ways of slyly provoking you and setting you up to look like the aggressor.

bullies use gaslighting as a powerful tool.

Additionally, bullies have ways of gaslighting you and making you doubt your own sanity. They have a knack for manipulating your emotions and making you feel guilty for things you aren’t guilty of.

Moreover, these people also have ways of brainwashing you over time and turning you against yourself. They know how to make you feel as if you did something to justify their mistreatment and abuse.

As a result, you won’t know how to save yourself from those who unjustly accuse and label you. This is because you’ll have difficulty identifying and naming the tactics bullies use against you.

Therefore, you won’t know how to explain what is happening to you or report the bullying without sounding like you’re rambling.

 The end result will be that your bullies and the circumstances they force on you will convince you and those in power that you are the culprit.

Moreover, if you happen to be the person who witnesses someone else being bullied, you’re likely to point a finger at the wrong person.

Therefore, here are the 11 traits victims of bullying share.

1. who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people with the least power.

Having the least amount of power automatically makes you an easy target. Why? Because the less power you have, the least likely you defend yourself. Bullies instinctively know this.

Moreover, powerlessness is sometime you can’t hide no matter how hard you try. Why? Because it will seep through in your body language and in the way you carry yourself.

And bullies are masters at reading people and can sniff out your weaknesses and low vibration. They’ll see you coming a mile away.

Understand that when bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. When they sense prey, they take full advantage.

2. those with the least social capital.

In other words, they’re very unpopular and have the least amount of friends, allies, and supporters. Why, because bullies tend to defame their victims to block their chances of getting support.

Moreover, having few people or no one behind you makes you easy prey for even more bullies to come for you. Understand that a pack of wolves always goes after that one elk that gets separated from the herd.

3. Victims of bullying tend to have the least influence.

It takes a confident person and yes, even an arrogant person to have influence. People with influence not only have better control over what happens to them but also may have control over what happens to others.

Most victims have no influence because they can’t seem to control what happens to them. If they did, they wouldn’t constantly have bullies on their tail.

4. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people that others like or love the least.

This goes back to victims of bullying having the least social capital. If you have few people or no one who loves or likes you, then you stand the least chance of getting help and support.

Therefore, this leaves you at the mercy of bullies.

Again, predators always go after the lone animal.

5. People others hate the most.

Those who hate you want you to suffer. Hate is an obsession. Moreover, bullies do have an obsession over their victims. However, being hated can cause big problems for you.

Why, because if most people already hate you, they’re most likely to join the bullies in tormenting you.

6. Victims are usually the person people can openly bully and abuse and get away with it.

Because most victims of bullying have the least power, social capital, and influence, bystanders will most likely refuse to help them when bullies come calling. Moreover, because they’re the most hated and least liked, bystanders are likely to team up with the bullies and join in the attacks.

Add all this up and school staff, company management, or even police probably won’t help the victim either.

If you fall into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being your own advocate. You may be afraid to open your mouth and yes, things may get worse for you if you do. However, if you don use your voice, things will get worse anyway.

7. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re usually those from abusive homes or who live in poverty.

Remember that abuse and bullying are one and the same. Bullying is abuse. Therefore, victims from abusive homes become objects of bullying because they’re already wounded.

Because they’re wounded, they automatically put out that bullied vibe through their energy and body language. Unfortunately, bullies are experts at reading people and can pick up on this very quickly.

As mentioned in earlier posts, bullies are like ravenous sharks that smell blood in the water or a pack of wolves that pick out the sickest member in a herd of deer.

Therefore, they select the already-abused victim to prey on.

Bullies will also select victims who live in poverty because of the clothes they wear or their hygiene. It’s not hard to ferret out indigence because it often shows through appearance and level of cleanliness.

Moreover, these victims will often feel insecure and have low self-esteem, giving out vibes and energy that match.

Money is power and lack of it spells powerlessness. Bullying is about power. Therefore, bullies will instantly sense these things and select these victim to harass and ridicule.

Lastly, people from abusive homes and the indigent are most likely to have low self-esteem. And those with low self-esteem are dead ringers  for bullying because they’re least likely to fight back.

8. victims of bullying are usually those who are kindhearted.

Bullies automatically see kindness as weakness. Therefore, empaths and others who are sweet and kind become fair game.

Moreover, people who bully may be envious of the kindly victim’s qualities because they, themselves, lack them. So, bullies often bully the kindhearted out of jealousy.

And because the kindhearted tend to be well-loved by others, bullies also target them out of social envy.

9. Bullies also like to bully people with physical, mental, or intellectual disabilities.

Bullies are notorious for bullying anyone who is different and out of the ordinary. People with disabilities fit that bill in the eyes of many, sadly.

Moreover, cruel people often see disability as a weakness and this attracts bullies like a T-Rex to raw meat!

Here’s something else to be aware of. Because disabled people are likely to draw a monthly disability check, bullies will accuse them of fakery, laziness, and leaching on the taxpayer.

I can’t tell you the countless horror stories I’ve heard from SSDI recipients about the bullying and harassment they suffered and the same accusations their bullies hurled at them. And it’s heartbreaking!

10. Who are usually the victims of bullying? People with low self-esteem and introverts who are quiet.

Bullies can sniff out low self-esteem very quickly and from far off. In fact, they seem to have radars for it!

Low self-esteem is difficult to hide because it very subtly seeps out through your body language and your entire demeanor. Moreover, people with low self-esteem carry themselves complete different from those with healthy self-esteem.

They slouch when they sit or stand. Whereas, people with healthy self-esteem will hold their shoulders back and stand up straight.

Also those with low self-esteem tend to have downcast eyes and hold their heads down. On the other hand, confident people look up and ahead while holding their heads high and lengthening the neck.

Naturally, bullies take notice and, therefore, take full advantage!

On the other hand, bullies often select introverts who often have quiet confidence because they mistake their reserved nature for low self-esteem. This is why they often bullies get the shock of their lives when the quiet target defends themselves and ends up kicking a bully’s butt up between their shoulders.

Therefore, still waters run deep and bullies need to watch out when messing with the quiet ones. Because quiet people are unpredictable!

11. People who are exceptionally gifted and smart.

Bullies are jealous of anyone who is intelligent and gifted because they often receive recognition and accolades for those talents.

This threatens bullies’ power and status. Moreover, it delivers a huge blow to their overinflated egos. Why, because bullies have an obsessive need to be A-1 best at everything, all the time. Moreover, they crave attention and admiration and they don’t like to share it.

When some bright individual comes along and others see their talents and gifts, it automatically takes some of the favor and spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, is it any wonder bullies target these super-smart people to bully? Realize that having enemies doesn’t always mean that there’s something wrong with you. In most cases, it means there’s something right about you.

If you’re a target, you must find a way to report your bullies and better explain your situation. Documentation, using the 5W rule is the safest way of not only gathering your evidence, but also reporting the bullying.

This post answers the question, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” Moreover, it covers all the characteristics of all types of victims to debunk any myths and give you clues as to why bullies bully you and ways you can Report it and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

5. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

how to spot a bully in a crowd

How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

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‘Want to know how to spot a bully and pick them out of a crowd? Here are all the body language cues you must be aware of.

how to spot a bully

If you want to combat bullying, you must know how to spot bullies before they spot you. This means having a spidey-sense when it comes to reading people. You must automatically pay attention to others’ non-verbal communication and their silences.

Therefore, in this post you will learn how to spot a bully among a huge crowd of people. You will also learn more about body language in general.

Once you learn all these non-verbal messages, you will be able to better protect yourself against bullies and bullying.

This post is all about how to spot a bully and what you can do to protect yourself from them.

How to Spot a Bully

Why You Should Learn to Read Body Language

Body language is the unspoken messages we all send everyday. You should learn these things not only to read other people but also to be aware of your own nonverbals.

For instance, noticing the clothes people wear and the arrangement of objects in their homes and work spaces can also give clues as to the kind of people you’re dealing with.

Moreover, it pays to notice patterns in their breathing and tensions they have in certain muscles (mainly the neck and jawline). You should also have the ability to read the subtext in conversations.

The feet are the parts of the body that people pay the least attention to! However, this is a mistake because the feet can tell you so much.

Participating in or listening to conversations is good practice as well. And you should also home in on what is implied rather than what is said.

All of this is non verbal communication. And let’s face it, there is no such thing as an action that doesn’t communicate something.

The ability to read nonverbal communication is increasingly becoming a lost art due to technology and the advancement of social media. And that’s a sad thing because without it, we lose the ability to live in harmony with our fellow man.

How to spot a bully: Bullies always display these types of body language, especially around their targets.

Dominance and Superiority Body Language

1. Bullies take up lots of space to appear bigger.

In other words, you will often see bullies place their hands on their hips and stand extra tall.

2. If you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will stand extra close to you.

Moreover, they’ll stand so close that they will sometimes touch you. Your bullies deliberately invade your personal space to intimidate you. Moreover, this is the way they show you who’s boss without saying a word.

Therefore, how you respond is to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell off.

If they don’t move or they move closer to challenge the boundary you just set, you may have to throw up your dukes and enforce that boundary.

3. Bullies will also frown and purse their lips at you while maintaining unblinking and unwavering eye contact. Also, they will bore their eyes into you like a dagger, without moving their heads.

Again, this is to intimidate you and let you know that they’re watching you.

And when they glare at you, they do it persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.

Know that these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!

Therefore, you respond to this by reflecting the same body language back to them. In other words, return the glare and purse your lips back at them. Let them know that they don’t scare you and that you can take care of yourself if you have to.

4. How to Spot a Bully:

Bullies will freely touch you because they have no regard for your personal space.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. They may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go. A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you.

Understand that your bullies do these things to show you who’s in charge. Also, they may do it to compete with you.

Moreover, they may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes! In your bullies’ minds, they own you.

Their unspoken message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

Therefore, you must jerk away from them and tell them to never ever put their hands on you. And, if they challenge you by touching you again after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to punch their lights out.

And when you do, hit them so hard that they’ll think twice about ever messing with you again. Make the lick count!

5. If you are sitting, bullies will often stand over you to look bigger and more intimidating.

Or, if you’re standing, bullies who are short in stature will often stand on something to appear taller than you. Some may stand on their tiptoes.

Bullies will also lay claim to your territory (your desk, spaces, parking spaces, etc.) and expect others to obey rules when near the claimed area or object.

Again, they do this to intimidate and dominate.

Therefore, tell them to back the hell up!

6. How to Spot a Bully:

Other ways of Invading your space and claiming ownership

Your bullies may walk into your room, office, or home uninvited and without knocking. They may sit in your chair without asking permission.

Other invasions include leaning on your vehicle and parking in your parking space. They may cut in front of you in line, or prop their feet on the back of your chair when sitting behind them.

I had a girl do that to me in school, and if I knew what I know now, I would have jumped up and beat the living hell out of her!

Understand that bullies crave control and do these things to take away your power.

Therefore, you have every right to demand that they either know first or don’t bother coming in.  If they lean on your care, desk, etc, tell them to get off the object. You must stand up to these people!

7. Bullies also put their hands on your personal belongings with a carefree attitude.

But know that the message the bully is sending you is this: “I own you, so I own anything that is yours.”

Therefore, tell them in a firm tone to keep their hands off your shit!

 They may walk up to your table during lunch, pick a French fry off your plate, and pop it in their mouths. They may pick up your fork and take a bite of your food.

Moreover, your bully may also pick up your phone and began scrolling through the contents. They may even rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.

The hidden message the bully is sending is, “I can take whatever I want, and what are you going to do about it?”

Therefore, do something about it!

Get up, face the bully, and say, “Don’t you ever do that again.” If he challenges you, again, punch their lights out.

They crossed the line and you must enforce your boundaries. Why? Because they’ll keep it up if you don’t.

8. How to Spot a Bully:

Another way bullies invade territory.

They walk in the center of a hallway or sit on a flight of stairs, expecting people to move and go around them.

Bullies may also stand in the middle of a road and driveway or take their time crossing the street, forcing cars to stop and wait.

Therefore, tell them to move or to get out of the way. You could also say, “Excuse you!” This may or may not change their behavior but it will let them know that you aren’t afraid to stand up to them.

9. Bullies also show dominance by how they dress or the car they drive.

Bullies do this to impress admirers and to one-up you and other targets. Therefore, see it for what it is, a pathetic ploy to show off.

How you respond to give them a dismissive look and keep going. They aren’t worth your time.

10. Hostility Body Language

Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin.

The pinching of the jaw is used to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them. It’s their way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.

Therefore, realize that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.

Therefore, put your hands on your hips, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and give them the death glare. The point is to let them know that you aren’t the least bit intimidated.

11. How to Spot a Bully:

They pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand or another object.

Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall, or the palm of their opposite hand.

Any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for the victim’s physical body.

Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.

Also, male bullies may snarl at you, whereas female bullies will glare at you with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.

Repeat the response in number 10. Show the creep you aren’t afraid of them.

12. Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up.

They size you up by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests. The best response is to mirror the bully.

13. Bullies will stand in the center of the room.

They do this to be the “center” of attention. I call this the “look-at-me” body language. Therefore, how you respond to this is just to dismiss the body and keep walking.

How to Spot a Bully

In Conclusion:

Here’s a complete rundown of what we just covered.

If a bully violates your space or belongings, always call them out on it. Never let it happen without asserting yourself. If a bully stares you down, always return the stare. Either look them in the eye or look them between the eyes.

If they look at you while standing feet apart and arms akimbo, reflect the exact same stance back to the bully. Mirror the bully to show that you’re not the least bit intimidated by them. If the bully is rushing you, slow down. Do not speed up! Remain calm.

Also, if the bully challenges you, enforce the boundary you set. Sometimes this may mean putting up your dukes.

Here’s another thing that we didn’t mention but is important because it will help your self-esteem tremendously.

Dress your best and look your best. This shows that you take pride in how you look and conveys confidence. It also helps you to feel better. When we look better, we also feel better!

This post is all about how to spot a bully so that you can read their body language and be better prepared for anything they may try.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

when you stop caring what others think

When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

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‘Want to know what happens when you stop caring what people think of you? Here are the 9 life-changes you’ll notice.

when you stop caring

When you care to much, you hold on too tightly to the outcomes instead of letting things happen naturally and in their own time. However, caring too much can make you a slave to other people’s approval and permissions.

This is no way to live.

In this post you will learn the positives that flow into your life when you stop caring. Period.

Once you learn about all these advantages, you will be more willing to just relax and go with the flow.

This post is all about the amazing things that happen when you stop caring about other’s opinions and approval so that you can experience more freedom than you ever thought possible.

So, what happens when you stop caring about other peoples opinions of you?

1. You stop apologizing for being you.

Why? Because you stop allowing others to make you feel guilty for just being you. Instead of hiding your flaws, you begin to embrace them.

Moreover, Instead of judging yourself, you start loving and accepting yourself- all aspects, the good and the not-so-good.

Even better you begin living up to your own standards instead of someone else’s. In that, you start living life on your terms.

2. You set yourself free from the chains of fear and anxiety.

It’s like a weight that you take off your shoulders because you’re no longer a slave to others’ opinions and approval. Moreover, you stop walking on eggshells and hiding your natural humanness.

Also, you stop feeling like you aren’t good enough and comparing yourself to others. When you stop concerning yourself with the opinions of others, you no longer allow anyone else to dictate what you should say, do, think, or feel.

3. What happens when you stop caring?

You permit yourself to make mistakes.

Therefore, you free yourself. You realize that everyone makes errors whether or not some admit it. Even better, you begin learning from those mistakes and seeing them as life lessons, instead of defects

Moreover, you finally accept that you’re not and never will be perfect. Who is?

4. You gather the courage to be disliked.

Why? Because you realize that like and dislike are subjective, never personal. You accept that not everyone is going to like you and are not only okay with it, but you embrace it!

Moreover, you understand that a person who doesn’t have people who dislike them isn’t doing something right in one area or another. You also know that chances are that they aren’t embracing  their true, authentic self.

5. You follow your heart.

You freely do the things you love to do. Therefore, you sing, dance, speak your piece, and yes! Even act a little weird. In all this, You take back control of your life and find freedom you’ve never known.

The day you stop caring what people think is the day you get your life back!

6. What happens when you stop caring?

Your bullies slowly disappear.

Your bullies will notice the change in you. They’ll attack you, as usual, but suddenly, their pettiness doesn’t affect you like it once did. In other words, your bullies will notice that you no longer give them the reaction they’re looking for.

At first, they may try harder to get it. However, they’ll soon get the hint that you’re just bored with their childishness. And, when enough time has passed, one by one, your bullies will begin to disappear from your life.

Why? Because you’re no fun anymore and now, the bullies must search for an easier target to take your place.

7. You feel great about yourself.

In other words, you will begin to feel beautiful, smart, and, best of all, equal.

8. Positive things, events and circumstances begin coming your way.

Moreover, they will do it magically and seemingly without effort. You will begin attracting the right people into your life.

Instead of drawing in users, abusers and losers who are out to get something from you, you will draw in genuine people who were loving, caring, uplifting, and inspiring.

Existing relationships will drastically improve. An abundance of opportunities and blessings will flow into your life.

Also, you’ll start seeing wins and successes and life will become very rewarding and fulfilling. As a result, this will only encourage you to stretch your imagination, take more risks, and try new things.

9. What Are other things that you notice when you stop caring?

You look back and wonder why you even cared what your bullies and others thought.

Why? Because you’ll finally know that they never meant jack to you and couldn’t do anything for you. Moreover, you’ll realize that they’re not your family or friends. Also, you will think to yourself:

  • These creeps aren’t my family or friends.
  • They don’t pay my bills nor sign my paycheck every week.
  • These jerks don’t hold my life in their hands.
  • And they most certainly aren’t people I care anything about.

10. You wonder why you wasted so much time and energy on people who were never worth your consideration.

Why? Because you’ll realize that most of those people were never even worth your consideration.

Moreover, you’ll realize that the only opinions that matter are those of my God, your family, spouse and closest and most trusted friends.

You’ll also realize that the only things that matter are your faith in God, your dreams, morals, and taking care of the people you love. In addition, you’ll place value on your ability to be the best you that you can be, and on your desire to extend kindness and help those who need you.

Anyone or anything outside of that will be irrelevant.’

I understand that it’s difficult to love yourself when it seems no one else does. However, you must commit an act of rebellion against those people. And how you do that is to continue to love and respect yourself.

Realize that the best kind of love is the love you give yourself. Why? Because, without self-love, you won’t be able to love others properly and healthfully.

Therefore, you must decide that you’re going to love yourself no matter how others feel about you. However, it may not happen overnight.

This will be the beginning of a long journey. You may be about to take on an exceedingly difficult task. And that will be to reprogram your mindset.

In other words,, you’ll need to purge all the negative stuff people have told you for many years. And it won’t be easy by any stretch.

What happens when you stop caring? Life just gets better!

It will take reversing and undoing many years of abusive programming. Also, it will require a lot of grunt work.

Moreover, when you rise to this challenge, there will be times when others will fight against you. But, why would they do that?

Because they won’t like the differences they see in you. Understand that they’ll be threatened by the positive changes you’ll implement for yourself.

Also, your mind will fight against you as well. But, stick with it because that tiny spark within you will always tell you that you deserve better.

You’ll continue to vomit out all the garbage others have made you believe about yourself. And it’ll be difficult to cleanse yourself of the negative thoughts and self-beliefs that have kept you shackled for so long.

It will be a long fight, I won’t kid you. However, it’ll be so worth it in the end! You be be happy, confident, and comfortable in your own skin. In other words, you will experience a freedom you’ve never known!

So, continue to put in the work to break the chains that bind you.

If you’re a victim of bullying and haven’t gotten there yet. I want you to know that loving yourself is the hardest lesson you’ll ever learn.

11. What happens when you stop caring?

You turn your pain into power.

However, sometimes, you have to be torn apart to put yourself back together again. You have to be naïve to become wise.

Also, you must be weakened by bullying for several years before you can finally realize your own strength. And you have to be cheapened by others before realizing your worth.

And lastly, you must feel hate from others before you can love yourself fully and completely. There will be people who will drum so much poison into your brain and make you feel worthless. However, you have a choice whether to allow them to do that to you.

Realize that there are people who want you to hate yourself as much as they hate you. But don’t give them the satisfaction! Hold on to your self-love no matter how people bully and abuse you.

Here’s how you do it:

  1. Celebrate your successes even if you don’t feel up to it.
  2. Make a list of your positive qualities.
  3. Make positive affirmations.
  4. Reward yourself.
  5. Talk kindly to yourself.
  6. Catch every negative thought and replace it with a positive thought.
  7. Do things you enjoy most.
  8. Stay away from toxic people if at all possible.
  9. Surround yourself with positive people.
  10. Don’t put pressure on yourself to meet standards that are unattainable.
  11. Place no value on the opinions of people who aren’t worthy of your time and energy.
  12. BE YOURSELF!

If you practice these twelve things every day, I promise you that you will see change in your overall outlook. It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen fast. However, as mentioned earlier, it will all be worth it in the end. I guarantee it!

This post is all about what happens when you stop caring what others think and the positive changes that happen when you do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

2. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

3. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

why do schools ignore bullying incidents

Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

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Why do schools ignore bullying? If you suffer constant bullying at school everyday, you’ve probably asked yourself this question many times. As someone with firsthand experience, I’m giving you the most common reasons every target of bullying should be aware of.

why do schools ignore bullying

It’s bad enough when you’re a kid in school and bullies use you for target practice. However, when the school continues to ignore it, even when you report it, it only makes things exponentially worse.

If you’re like I was, you’re probably desperately searching for answers. As someone who has experienced this firsthand, I’m giving you the most common reasons why schools ignore bullying

In this post you will learn the seven most common answers to the question, “Why do schools ignore bullying?”

Once you learn these popular reasons, it will relieve any confusion and you will be able to address the situation more appropriately.

This post gives you the answers to the question on the minds of every bullying victim, “Why do schools ignore bullying?” These are the answers that every target should know.

why do schools ignore bullying?

All too often, schools ignore reports of bullying and leave targets to fend for themselves. Moreover, this happens much more than we know.

School staff ignore you when you report your bullies to them. Maybe they trivialize your experiences or worse, blame you for your bullies’ behavior.

They may ask you what you’re doing to make them mistreat you. As a result, you probably feel victimized twice, once by the bullies and again by those who are supposed to protect you.

But realize that schools tend to sweep incidences of bullying under the rug and sadly, they do this all the time.

Therefore, here are the seven reasons schools do nothing about bullying.

1. They’re lazy.

Conducting an investigation into the case of bullying is extra work. Therefore, most school officials do not want to make any extra effort in resolving a case of bullying.

Often, they take the easy way out by either denying that there’s a problem or blaming you. And when your parents or guardians get involved, the school staff may often label them as “the unhinged mom/dad,” which is only a cop-out.

2. Why Do Schools Ignore Bullying? They’re afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Bullying is a learned behavior. Consequently, many bullies have parents who are also bullies themselves. Many of these parents are self-entitled.

Also, your bullies may also have powerful political connections in the town or on the school board. Therefore,  the school staff know too well that disciplining “the wrong kids” could mean an end to either their jobs or their entire careers.

3. They’re afraid that the school’s reputation may be tarnished.

Schools often hide cases of bullying to save face. In other words, the reputation of the school, sadly, takes priority over your well being.

Therefore, most schools know good and well when a child is bullied. However, they may consider that child a threat and, in worse cases, ostracize the poor kid and tell him/her to “keep your mouth shut” to cover their own behinds.

Moreover, bullied kids also have less power then other kids. So, it’s much easier for the school to not to do anything about the bullying when you report it.

4. Why do schools ignore bullying? They either don’t like you may even hate you.

Sadly, many teachers and school staff either dislike or hate their bullied students. Although these are supposed to be adults who were supposed to protect you, they don’t because of their personal feelings and emotions.

Moreover, when people bully you for a long period of time, they spread many lies and ugly rumors about you to defame you and destroy your reputation. It’s just another unpleasant aspect of bullying.

Teachers, principals, and school officials hear the lies and rumors as well. And they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard.

Additionally, school staff may even join in on negative gossip about you. Understand that although you may be one of the most goodhearted people around, the rumors and lies supersede the truth.

Therefore, in the minds of those at school, you’re “trouble.”

 Lies and rumors are powerful and they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion. As a result, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress of being marginalized.

5. they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words,  because of having been bullied for so long, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies slyly used the reaction as further proof that you’re either trouble or you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, teachers and staff may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be a reason that justifies it. And so, they believe you deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when a teacher does not like you, they may either refuse to help you or secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer. Realize that teachers and school staff are just as capable as the classroom bullies of hating and hurting students they deem undesirable.

6. Why Do Schools Ignore bullying? The bullies are athletes or cheerleaders

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

7. The bullies excel in studies and are candidates for college.

Again, these bullies make the school look good. Schools desire to crank out graduates that are high achievers and go on to college. The more college-bound students they have, the better the schools look and the more parents will want to send their kids to the school.

Moreover, the more students a school has, the more funding they get from the government. Therefore, these schools aren’t going to do anything to mess this up.

Why Do schools ignore bullying?

What parents can do

This is why parents must stay proactive in protecting and advocating for their child even when it seems that the school isn’t listening.

Let them know that you will not go away until the problem is solved. Go to the media if you have to.

Therefore, gather your own evidence. Get a journal and have your child document each incidence of bullying, using the 5W method. And, depending on the laws in your state, you can have your child wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on them to get evidence of bullying.

Moreover, you must save any email correspondence with the school and save it on three different flash drives. Then hide them in different locations to keep the evidence safe.

Be there for your child. Assure your child that his/her reputation does not equal character and that the bullies have the issues.

Know there will come a time when your child will escape their tormentors and have true friends who love them for them. Constantly tell them that they are worthy of having friends and being loved.

You might just keep your child’s self-esteem from completely tanking and even save his/her life!

What you can do if you’re the victim of school bullying

When schools do nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Document each incidence of bullying when you get home from school. Do this while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to school because bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

Therefore, it’s important to know the laws before you carry this out.

Another way you can gather proof is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments on your social media pages. Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board or to court.

This post is all about the question, “Why do schools ignore bullying?” so that you can have the answers you’ve been looking for and be better able to decide what your recourse should be.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Know Your Enemy: 7 Reasons to Gather Intel on Your Bullies

5. The 4 Stages of Bullying

your first line of defense against bullying in school

Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

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‘Want to know your first line of defense against bullying? The answer is so simple it may shock you.

your first line of defense against bullying

Many victims of bullying have no earthly idea what the first line of defense is because, sadly, they’ve never been taught. Or, maybe no one has taught them in a way that they would understand.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what your first line of defense against bullying is. Moreover, you will be amazed at the answer and wonder why you didn’t know it sooner.

Once you learn this simple answer, you will be able to buffer your self-esteem against the onslaught of bullies. The beauty of this is that their attacks will seem to bounce off you as if you were wearing body armor.

This post is all about your first line of defense against bullying so that you can protect your self-esteem and face your bullies confidently.

Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Can you guess what it is? I’ll give you a hint. You can see it in both the introductory image and the featured images in this post.

For those of you who saw it, I’m proud of you. On the other hand, for those of you who are still trying to figure out what it is in the photos, I’m proud of you too. Want to know why?

Because it means you’re willing to learn and I love that! So, here goes.

Your first line of defense is…

CONFIDENCE!

Here are several reasons:

1. Confidence means self-acceptance.

When you are confident, you have complete self-acceptance. In other words, you accept yourself for all that you are- the good, the bad, and the downright ugly parts of yourself.

You’re not perfect and you’re okay with that because you know that there’s no such thing as a perfect person. Therefore, you allow yourself to make mistakes.

Moreover, you don’t mind people seeing you without your make-up from time to time. Instead, you’re comfortable completely barefaced when you’re working in the yard and your neighbors see it.

When they wave at you, you smile and wave back at them without worry.

2. Your first line of defense against bullying:

When You’re confident, you don’t care what people think.

You realize that some people don’t have lives and that they will talk smack about you. Moreover, you let them talk because you know who you are, what you want and what you like, even if they don’t.

Also, you know that everyone has their own opinion and that the weight of any opinion depends on your relationship with the person who holds it. Put another way, you don’t place as much value on the opinions of strangers, bullies, and abusers as you would of those who love you.

Therefore, you’re least likely to get offended and let it define you.

3. Having confidence means that you don’t worry about who does or does not like you.

This is a close cousin of not caring what people think. And because you don’t care what people think, you’re not out there, turning somersaults trying to score approval from anyone.

Moreover, you realize that there will always be those who don’t like you and never will. And do you know what the best part of this is? It’s that you’re perfectly okay with it.

Again, you know who you are and what good you bring even if they do not.

You have a small circle of friends and you’re satisfied with it. Moreover, you realize that it’s much better to have two or three true friends than a thousand fake ones.

Therefore, you’re happy with the buddies you have.

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying:

When You’re Confident in who you are, you’re least likely to doubt yourself.

In other words, you trust your own instincts and can easily spot shady people when you see them. And that includes bullies.

You heed your gut any time it warns you that dangerous people are nearby or when a decision isn’t the best one.

In fact, you trust your feelings, your decisions, and your abilities.

5. When you have confidence, you’re least likely to give in to fear.

This isn’t to say that you don’t get scared sometimes because everyone does. However, you step back, analyze the fear and decide whether that fear is necessary.

For instance, let’s say that a bully at work or school tries to intimidate you. Moreover, you know that this person is a blowhard.

Therefore, instead of backing down, you stand up to the bully and tell them to piss off. Why? Because you know that bullies thrive on fear and use it to get others to give them what they want.

6. Your First Line of Defense against Bullying:

When you’re confident in yourself, you aren’t afraid to set boundaries.

In other words, when some creep tries to get in your face, talk down to you, or physically attack you, you’ll defend yourself.

You’ll either tell them to go to hell, or you’ll punch them in the nose because you refuse to be a victim. Why?

Because you’re absolutely clear with what you will and will not put up with. You know without a doubt that you deserve better. Moreover, you love yourself enough to set boundaries and to enforce those boundaries when some idiot sticks so much as a toe over them.

You give respect to others. However, you expect the same in return and won’t settle for anything less. You’re kind to others without being too nice.

In other words, you give to others. However, you won’t let them take you for granted.

7. Bullies are least likely to want to tangle with you Unless they feel threatened by you.

Now, why is that?

Because most bullies prefer to target low-hanging fruit. In other words, they’re such cowards that they prefer easy targets.

Easy targets for bullies are those with low self-esteem and those who are insecure with themselves. Bullies also like to target those they can easily intimidate and those who don’t stand up to them.

But not you! Nope!

Most bullies can sense your confidence and it only intimidates them. They know that confident people are least likely to take any shit off them.

Therefore, they’re least likely to target you. They’ll just move on to an easier target.

Now, there will be bullies who will feel threatened by you. These people will likely be those in the workplace. Therefore, they may see you as a challenge and push your boundaries.

However, you won’t be afraid to stand your ground.

8. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying:

With Confidence, you’re not afraid to have your own opinions, beliefs and convictions.

Therefore, you hold on to those values because you understand that it’s a part of who you are.

Now, you might be thinking, “Okay. Well, all these points sound good if you’re in the earliest stages of bullying and bullies are testing you to see what you’ll do. But, what if you’ve been bullied for a long time and your self-esteem is already shot to hell? Is it too late?”

To answer your questions, it depends.

Every situation is different. For instance, if you’re in the late stage of bullying, it most likely won’t work. Why? Because, by this stage, people have grown accustomed to mistreating you.

In other words, bullying you has become a habit and habits are hard to break. Therefore, you might decide that it’s better to move on to a place where you can get a fresh start.

However, if you don’t have that option, here’s what you can do:

you Take Away Your Bullies’ Power by Re-Framing the things you’re insecure about and that they exploit.

  1. For instance, you’re a kind and easy-going person and bullies see those good qualities as a sign of weakness.

You can use those traits to uplift and give support to other targets of bullies. In doing this, you will make great friends and allies.

Remember that bullies always attack in groups. Why? Because they’re weak and afraid when they’re alone.

Therefore, when you establish a group of your own, bullies will back down because you now have friends to back you up.

2. Your First Line of Defense against Bullying:

Here’s another example. You’re painfully shy and quiet and bullies mistake those characteristics for fear.

You can use your silence to be a good listener when someone needs to talk. This too gains you close friends because the other person will feel that you’re listen to them and that you care.

Moreover, they will feel that you’re interested in them and who doesn’t love that!

3. You have a small mole that bullies make fun of.

Remember that Marilyn Monroe also had a mole just above her upper lip. But her mole was referred to as a beauty mark and it ended up being her trademark.

These are only a few examples. Find a way to re-frame what people see as weaknesses and you’ll be surprised at how quickly you take back your power.

In Conclusion:

Confidence isn’t only your first line of defense against bullies, it’s also freedom! Therefore, how you build it is to keep company only with those who love you and want the best for you.

Also, instead of wondering if people will like you, start wondering if you’re going to like them.

This post is all about your first line of defense against bullying and all that comes with it so that you can begin building your own.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

3. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

4. Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Insanely Easy Strategies

5. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

the perfect victim theory

The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

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‘Want to know why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies? Here are the characteristics bullies look for in potential targets and how you can turn the tables on these predators.

the perfect victim

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably ask yourself a thousand times a day, “Why me?” And you’re not the only one who has asked that question.

What you may not know is that your bullies purposefully chose you to bully. Moreover, there are reasons why they selected you as their target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn one of possible reasons why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies. Moreover, this post will teach you by listing the exact characteristics bullies look for in potential targets so that you can figure out which trait applies to you.

Once you learn all about these characteristics and why they chose you, you will be able to turn the tables on your bullies and take back your peace, your happiness, your mental health, and your life.

The Perfect Victim

Bullies never randomly choose their victims from a crowd. There are certain criteria they search for and not everyone meets that criteria. This is why it isn’t everyone who gets bullied.

Therefore, when you think of the perfect victim for bullies, what kind of person do you see? A nerdy boy with eyeglasses? A girl with a weight problem?

Granted, these could be factors. However, there are many people who wear eyeglasses and who have issues with their weight that troublemakers never target. Trust me, I’ve known several in those categories who were completely accepted regardless of those things.

Therefore, it’s not about picking those with vulnerabilities that are obvious and people can see from five miles away. Bullies often pursue those who have victim qualities that are nuanced and less obvious.

So, what is it about these victims that attracts human predators?

It’s the weaknesses in their psychological makeup. Now, this is not to say that all targets have mental illnesses. However, there are things about them that instantly attract these human predators.

Here are 9 characteristics that draw bullies like vultures to a carcass. (The traits of potential Victims)

1. Emotional Fragility

When someone is emotionally fragile, they tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. These are those who cry easily. Also, many of them are sullen and have a crappy outlook on life in general.

People who are painfully shy are also bait for bullies. Moreover, those who get angry and flip out easily may also be targeted for bullying, though not often.

The reason bullies choose these types of victims is because they know they can easily get a reaction from them. Remember that bullies love the reaction they get because not only do they get their kicks out of it, but they can also weaponize the victim’s reaction and use it against them.

What do I mean?

Let’s say that harassers pick on a victim who easily loses their temper and the target flips out on them. The bullies can then use the person’s reaction to reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Therefore, it’s the target who gets the blame and thus, labeled the troublemaker and the bullies get off Scot free, even though they are the ones who are the provocateurs.

2. The Perfect Victim:

Sensitivity

Sensitive people also fall into the emotionally fragile category. For example, you can so much as look at them the wrong way and they’ll dissolve into a puddle of tears.

Therefore, bullies will target this person. Why? Because they know the person will break down crying and give them the reaction they’re looking for.

And once the victim starts crying, the bullies not only make fun of the person and call them a crybaby, but they can also use the tears against the target.

How? You may wonder.

They can accuse the target of being “too sensitive,” or a “crybaby” who just needs to lighten up. Therefore, other people will more than likely agree and stop taking the victim seriously. Because, after all, the target just needs to grow up and stop being such a wienie. Right?

3. Weak Personalities

When I say, weak personalities, I’m talking about people who are afraid to be themselves. Also, you have those who constantly seek attention and approval.

Granted, bullies do these things as well, only they’re better at hiding it.

However, when you’re afraid to be yourself and it’s obvious, you will also attract bullies. Realize that this doesn’t make you a bad person. You may come from a home where you aren’t allowed to just be your own person, therefore, you put on a front out of survival.

Therefore, I’m not judging you nor accusing you. What I am saying is that bullies can sniff that out and they will take full advantage if you’re not careful.

Remember that a pack of wolves always target the injured elk in the herd. It’s the same with bullies. They always go after those who are already injured in some way.

Maybe the potential victim has low self-esteem. Or they could suffer from nervousness brought about by a past traumatic event.

Again, bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. They’re opportunistic creatures!

4. The Perfect Victim:

Fear and Anxiety

Bullies will select those who are fearful and anxious. These people make good victims because bullies can leverage their fear and anxiety to get what they want. Also, a person who is nervous and fearful is easy to control and dominate.

Remember that bullying is about power and control. And bullies need these types of people to assert superiority over.

5. Loneliness

People who are lonely are especially vulnerable to bullies. Why? Because someone who has either very few or no friends or family is also least likely to have a support network.

In other words, there’s less chance of them having anyone to protect them or speak in their behalf.

Therefore, bullies can easily abuse this person any time they feel like it, with little chance of accountability.

A person who is always by themselves is the perfect opportunity for bullies. Why? Because people who are alone all the time are likely going to be desperate for friends and human connection

This desperation is something bullies can easily exploit for their own evil purposes. Therefore, these people are fertile soil for bullies to sow seeds of abuse and manipulation.

6. The Perfect Victim:

Disappointment

Those who are disappointed in life also make easy targets for bullies. Why? Because bullies can often make empty promises and dangle carrots of any of the things the victim desires to draw them in.

The victim’s desires could be acceptance and friendships, or it could be material things. Whatever the void, the bullies are more than happy to fill it, and for nothing more than to sucker the potential victim into their web.

7. People-Pleasing Behavior

Loneliness, disappointment, and people-pleasing behavior often intersect with each other. Therefore, people-pleasing behavior is a dead-ringer for bullies to exploit.

There are many reasons someone may feel the need to people-please. They may do it for acceptance and approval. Also, the person may do out of a survival mechanism to keep someone from harming them.

Nevertheless, bullies will quickly take notice. Then, they will dangle carrots of friendship and safety to draw the potential victim in, only to exploit them later.

8. The Perfect Victim:

Co-Dependency

All of the above mentioned psychological holes are related and can go hand in hand. Co-dependency is another weakness bullies look for in potential targets.

People may become co-dependent out of loneliness and the craving for approval. Moreover, they may people-please to get the friendship, romance, and approval they desperately seek. Also, these people may have fear and anxiety at the prospect of being alone.

Now, do you see how this works and how many traits on the list intersect with each other?

Therefore, bullies may notice these things and search for ways to suck the person in and exploit these weaknesses.

Therefore, if you have any number of these weaknesses on the list, bullies will be watching and waiting. In fact, they will see you coming a mile away.

Why? Because bullies have a flair for sniffing out anything that plagues the psyche, from loneliness, to low self-esteem, to fear and sensitivity. Bullies have a radar for any kind of insecurity and they will exploit it for their own personal gain or simply to hurt you.

Therefore, take all of this as a warning!

9. Exceptionalism

Exceptionalism is a little different. Yes, you can be an exceptional person and still have some of the above insecurities. However, bullies will also target confident people who are exceptional.

The person may make straight A’s in school or be a music prodigy. They may perform well on the job and get lots of praise and recognition from supervisors and coworkers.

Also, they target those who are goal oriented, highly intelligent, and take responsibility for their lives. Empaths are candidates for hate from bullies as well.

Creative and imaginative people are those bullies love to tear down. Understand that bullies fear their potential and they will try like the devil to kill that good seed before it has time to grow.

But why?

Here’s your answer in one word. Jealousy!

Realize that bullies want to be the top dogs. They do not like to be out-shined. In fact, they despise competition! And anytime you’re exceptionally talented, you steal the spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, expect them to victimize you without fail. Because they will just to poke holes in your confidence and self-esteem.

The Perfect Victim

In Conclusion:

If you fall into either one of these categories, let me ensure you that there are ways you can protect not only your body but your mind against the onslaught of bullies.

Therefore, your first line of defense is always, ALWAYS, self-acceptance. And when I say self-acceptance, I mean complete self-acceptance.

You must accept yourself, flaws and all. Moreover, you must be okay with who you are and love every thing that makes you you.

Why? Because when you’re happy with who you are, bullying attacks won’t have near the effect on you that it does if your self-esteem is broken.

In other words, your self-love and self-acceptance will act as your body armor and shield, preventing the psychological attacks of bullies from penetrating.

Therefore, accept yourself. Love yourself and all your imperfections. For we all have them. Even your bullies have flaws.

This post is all about the perfect victim and the characteristics in them that bullies look for and exploit so that you can pinpoint which one you have and take steps to turn the tables.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

3. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know