Bullying Techniques: 5 Top Sneakiest Tactics

February 10, 2026January 3, 20264 Comments

‘Want to know the cleverest bullying techniques seasoned bullies use? Here are the top sneakiest tactics you need to be aware of.

Let’s face it, most bullies are masters at what they do. They know better than to mistreat you directly. Instead, they use subtle tactics to get you. This is why they mostly go undetected and get away with their attacks.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the sneakiest bullying techniques bullies use to fly under the radar.

Once you learn about these covert assaults, you will be better able to recognize them and call them out when you see them.

This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques, so you can recognize them and better defend yourself against them.

Bullying Techniques

So, let’s dive right in. What are the covert tactics that you need to be aware of? Here is a list of them below.

1. ordering you around.

Many bullies constantly boss you around. But understand what this is. It’s a power game. They order you around to exert power over you and feel superior.

They may tell you to sit down, shut up. I speak from experience because my classmates did the same to me every day. But again, you must see the goals and intentions behind these orders.

The reason they tell you to sit down or shut up is to take power over you. Moreover, they want to feel superior by making you small. They also want to undermine your confidence.

Therefore, you should never give in to their demands, no matter what. Never follow their unwarranted orders. I know, I’m one to speak because many times, years ago, I caved in.

However, knowing what I know now, I’d take a beating before I’d give in to them. Why? Because I realize that I’d more than likely take a beating anyway.

2. Bullying Techniques:

Empty promises, false incentives, and veiled threats.

Bullies may sweet-talk you into doing things you don’t want to do. To sweeten the deal, they may give you empty promises and false incentives.

Then, when you give them what they want, they don’t honor their promises. As a result, they only laugh and go back to treating you like dirt. Moreover, you feel like a total idiot for believing them.

Or, bullies may threaten you with even more abuse if you don’t do what they want. They may threaten to exclude you. Or they may tell you that the abuse will only get worse. However, here’s something to think about:

You can’t lose something you never had. Your bullies already hate you, and they already want to hurt you. So, you can’t lose any points with them because you never had them in the first place.

Therefore, you must refuse to give them what they want, no matter how they react.

3. Bullying Techniques:

Tattling on You.

This is one of the most evil techniques. Bullies, especially school bullies, are notorious tattletales.

They often tattle for even the tiniest of infractions. And, if they cannot find anything to tell, they will make something up. Furthermore, they will ensure it’s believable.

These kinds of people work as little Gestapos. Your bullies will watch you closely. They’ll wait with bated breath for you to do or say something- anything that is against the rules.

Then, they’ll run and tattle to a teacher, principal, supervisor, or manager. Here are the reasons they use this technique.

To gain the moral high ground.
To feel superior.
They feel entitled.
To impress those in authority.
To ruin your reputation with those in authority.
They want to set you up for future bullying.
To silence you.
To take attention away from their own bad behavior.

A deeper explanation of these kinds of bullying techniques

Bullies feel entitled to see that everyone is good little peasants, following the rules down to the letter! Or, at least, that’s what they want those in authority to think.

However, the reality is that everyone is free to do as they wish, everyone, except you. They only tattle on you. Why? To keep you from being able to defend yourself or report any bullying in the future.

Think about it. All your bullies must do is smear your name to any member of staff and you’re marred for good. They can then clear the path to bully you in the future without fear of being reported.

After all, who’s going to take the word of a troublemaker?

If enough people tattle on you, those in positions of power are more likely to believe them. Why? Because, “if you aren’t guilty of whatever they accuse you of, then why are so many pointing the finger at you?” Right?

Bullying Techniques:

Think of this as a game of chess.

By tattling, these bullies are setting up a system that will discredit you. In that case, they’ll leave you powerless to stop the bullying or escape it.

Tattling is also a way to silence you. Think about it. If you know that no one will believe you anyway, you’ll find it easier just to keep your mouth shut.

Bullies are master chess players. Therefore, this is how they set the stage beforehand to make you powerless. Why? Because once you’re completely powerless, they won’t need to hide it. They can bully you openly and in plain sight.

And who’s going to stop them? After all, you’re a troublemaker, a riffraff! And they aren’t bullying you; they’re only reacting to something you must have done to them. Right?

In other words, you’re bad, so you deserve it.

And the tattlers? They’re only “good kids” who want to learn in a clean environment. And the staff can’t be everywhere at once.

The tattle-tales serve as extra pairs of eyes that help the staff do their jobs. Therefore, they’re the little helpers.

So, let’s give them a cookie for their efforts to make our jobs a little easier!

These Bullying Techniques are planned ahead of time.

Tattling is a tactic that can eventually block you from any help you’d otherwise receive. Afterwards, the bullies will boast about how they succeeded in ruining your life.

Moreover, bullies use tattling as a veneer to hide their own bad behavior and project it onto you. If they can slither their way into the good graces of those in power while demonizing you, their plot will work perfectly. Then, the bullies are virtually untouchable.

I cannot stress enough the importance of being prepared for this type of thing. And the more you prepare, the better you’ll be able to counter this slick tactic and protect yourself.

3. Imposing Standards, then moving the goalposts.

Understand that bullies will always judge you, and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation.

You won’t need to do anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something. Moreover, your mere presence will provoke their attacks.

But, realize this. They hurl personal attacks strictly to control you. That’s right. Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more.

Moreover, those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies won’t accept you, no matter what you do. And any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Bullying Techniques:

It’s all About power!

How many attempts are you willing to make to satisfy these bullies before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that conforming does no good?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these creeps aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will lose respect for you. The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you.

In other words, you teach others how to treat you by what you put up with. And when you conform to others’ standards, you only discard your own.

4. Giving Unsolicited Advice.

This technique is used to disguise bullying as being helpful. Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice. However, they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.

They try to advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict.

These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they? However, I want you to understand why bullies do this.

They do it to give their audience the impression that they are more intelligent than you. Bullies don’t give free advice to help you. They do it to help themselves.

Bullying Techniques:

You Don’t Need their Cheap Two Cents.

You counter this by realizing that the weight a person’s opinion carries depends on who they are. Put another way, the people who are the closest to you are those whose opinions have value.

These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse, your dearest family and friends.

In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, or anyone who uses and abuses you should carry the least weight. We should never value the opinions or judgments of bullies. Ever!

Never Give Value to Anything that Has None.

Opinions are like elbows, and everyone has one. But the value of an opinion must always be determined by where it comes from and the relationship you have.

Therefore, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration. Discard any unsolicited advice from anyone who hasn’t earned your respect. When you do, you keep your power and your dignity.

For more information about opinions, see this post.

5. Bullying Techniques:

Sowing Discord between You and Other People.

Another classic tactic of bullies is to tell you how “everyone” talks about you. They may also tell you that this person doesn’t like you or that person hates your guts.

But make no mistake. When bullies do this, they aren’t trying to warn you, and they don’t have your best interests at heart.

What they’re trying to do is break your confidence. They want to make you insecure and feel like you aren’t wanted and don’t belong.

They pull this classic divide-and-conquer move to throw you off balance. Their goals are to destabilize you and make you look like you’re suffering from paranoia.

Why? Because if your bullies can make you suspicious of those around you, then you’ll eventually lose trust in people, and your relationships will suffer.

And if your relationships suffer, so too will your performance, your ability to make good decisions, and your ability to think clearly and rationally. This is precisely what the bullies are counting on.

In closing

Bullies are slick. Therefore, they use covert techniques to trick you into believing they mean well when they really don’t. These are only some of the tactics covert bullies use.

The real number of tactics is too many to list in one blog post. However, for a broader list of covert bullying tactics, click HERE.

This post is all about the sneakiest bullying techniques that smart bullies use so that you will recognize them when THEY HAPPEN to you and defend yourself properly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Opinions are Not Facts: 7 Reasons Those of Bullies Don’t Matter

4. Covert Bullying Examples: 7 Must-Know Tactics Covert Bullies Use

5. Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know

“You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

February 10, 2025January 8, 20254 Comments

“You ain’t shit” seems to be the most common go-to attack for bullies. ‘Want to know why they tell you this? Here are the most common motives behind the statement and how you should re-frame it to buffer your self-esteem.

Any time you show some confidence, it will make your bullies feel uncomfortable. Why? Because it will threaten their power over you. Moreover, if you score a win or accomplish an achievement, your bullies won’t like it. Therefore, your bullies will say something to cut you down to size.

Their favorite go to attack is to tell you that “you ain’t shit.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly why your bullies use this phrase. You’ll also learn how to use context to buffer your self-esteem against it and how to counter it.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will better be able to brush it off when bullies use this statement.

This post is all about why bullies like to tell you that “you ain’t shit,” so that you can re-frame it and use it to raise your confidence.

“You Ain’t Shit!”

Introducing Rev. Aldtric Johnson

This post was inspired by Minister Aldtric Johnson of the “Be Blesstified” blog. He is a talented blogger and this is a must read for anyone who is a target of bullying.

Not only is his post packed with truths that we don’t often think about, but it’s also loaded with good humor! I can tell you that not only did I learn a few things, but I was in stitches as I read it! So please take the time to read the post below, you’ll be so glad you did!

In the words of Pastor Aldtric Johnson:
“This is a much too common insult in our culture, and yes, the bad grammar is always intentional…

“You ain’t worth s**t! Of course, implying that someone doesn’t have the value of feces, crap, refuse, doo-doo, dung, ‘ish’. It can be very hurtful if you allow it, especially if you are insecure or struggle with self-esteem. Or, if it’s told to a child by a parent, authority figure or peer.

It’s damage can last well into adulthood. So, let me give you a little ammunition with biblical support in case someone ever tells you, “You ain’t worth shiggity!”

**Even Sh*t has value.**

God created everything with value. Everything! Even doo-doo! We all know that there’s an industry built around the use of animal dung to make mulch and fertilizer.

Why? Because God put purpose and power, even in poop. Not only does it have value, but great value. People pay good money for a sack of s**t at Home Depot and Lowe’s.

God, in His wisdom gave waste the power to make things grow…so even waste doesn’t have to be wasted.

But, let’s look at the bible. There, we find the ‘S’-word was used for two ‘F’-words…both FERTILIZER and FUEL. Not only did they use it to grow their food, but they used it as fuel/coal to heat their food too.

When Bullies Tell You, “You ain’t Shit,” Look up these Bible verses on the value of crap:

Luke 13:7-8 (NKJV)
⁷Then he said to the keeper of his vineyard, ‘Look, for three years I have come seeking fruit on this fig tree and find none. Cut it down; why does it use up the ground?’ ⁸But he answered and said to him, ‘Sir, let it alone this year also, until I dig around it and fertilize it.

Ezekiel 4:15 (NKJV)
¹⁵Then He said to me, “See, I am giving you cow dung instead of human waste, and you shall prepare your bread over it.”

So, don’t get it twisted. God has value for dung. He has a purpose for poo, and He has a purpose for you.

Feces is used to diagnose illnesses, research for cures for disease, and do scientific research. There’s value in doo doo!

So, if anybody ever tells you that “You aren’t worth s**t,” tell them thank you! Tell them of it’s value. And then, remind them that if they ‘ain’t’ working God’s purpose for their life, tell them “S**t is worth more than you!”

Aldtric Johnson’s Blog – Be Blesstified

Now, here’s my take on it.

So, Why do Bullies Make the “You Ain’t Shit” Statement?

As mentioned earlier, bullies use this statement to cut you down to size. And they do it anytime you win at something and others either announce it or tell them. Also, they may tell you this anytime you show pride in yourself. Also, they do it anytime they overhear you sharing your successes with others.

So, why do bullies spew this ratchet statement?

1. They’re threatened By Your Confidence

Realize that your confidence will always threaten your bullies. Moreover, your bullies will only see your confidence as arrogance. And they will call you arrogant for the sole purpose of shaming you for it to get you to tone it down.

Moreover, they may even call you this to tear down your confidence and demoralize you. Realize that confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. And this is why bullies want to destroy it.

2. To Erode Your Self-Esteem

If you have healthy self-esteem, your bullies won’t be able to tear you down as easily. Therefore, they throw subtle digs and zingers to chip away at your self-esteem.

Look at self-esteem as an invisible fortress. In order for an enemy to invade and take over, they must destroy the fortress first. It’s the same with bullies. They must destroy your self-esteem before they can invade you and take over your life.

Therefore, they begin by subtle verbal taunts to soften you up.

3. Why Bullies tell you, “You Ain’t Shit”

To Assert Superiority over you

To assert domination over you, your bullies must first cut you down to size. Bullies want to be superior to you. Therefore, they will make this statement to feel more powerful and to make you feel powerless.

4. To Humiliate you in front of others

Have you noticed that bullies will usually tell you this in front of an audience? Understand that they do this to humiliate you and to entertain others at your expense.

Bullying is hurtful enough in private. However, it’s several times worse in public, when there are others around to see it.

5. To Put you in your place

When you succeed at something, bullies consider it an affront to their power over you. Moreover, your win only reminds them of all the things they failed at.

There are reasons why bullies discourage you. And they do it deliberately. Realize that your bullies are more aware of your potential than you are and they are jealous of that potential.

Moreover, these people are scared to death that you’re going to make it in life later on. Therefore, they ridicule your confidence and try their hardest to make you ashamed of it so that you’ll tone it down a little.

Bullies know that if they can convince you that having pride in your win is arrogance, they can fool you into suppressing your confidence. In that, they can steer you away from success. So, see this for what it is.

It’s a sneaky form of sabotage!

Understand that these people see you as inferior to them. Therefore, any accomplishments you make will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos.

Understand that these people aren’t happy. Why do you think they go out of their way to bring you down, rain on your parade, trash your dreams?

Think about it. How many happy people do you see sitting or standing around putting others down? Therefore, realize that when they tell you, “you ain’t shit,” they just might be projecting their own feelings of inadequacy onto you.

And they tell you these things because they want you to believe it! Moreover, they want you to live up to it!

Realize that this phrase usually comes from jealousy.

So, how do you counter your bullies when they tell you, “you ain’t shit?”

Simple, you let it go in one ear and out the other. Or, you can do as Rev. Aldtric Johnson suggested, you can tell them, “thank you.”

Also, look at the context of it. Did you win at something? For example, did you finally accomplish a goal that you’ve worked hard to attain? Did someone give you recognition for a job well done? If so, feel good about it and laugh at your bullies.

Why? Because they’re only saying these things out of jealousy and to keep from feeling inferior to you.

Are you a confident person? Maybe your bullies are jealous of your confidence.

Again, just look at them, smile, and say, “thank you.” Then watch your bullies seethe, knowing they didn’t get the reaction they wanted from you.

This post was all about why bullies tell you, “You ain’t shit,” so that you’ll know where it comes from and buffer your confidence against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

January 17, 2025December 20, 202412 Comments

‘Want to know the bullying tactics bullies use? Here are all the methods bullies use that you need to know.

Bullies aren’t always so obvious and they don’t always use physical violence. Many seasoned bullies use psychological, emotional, social, and spiritual bullying tactics that go undetected.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the techniques they use, even the subtle ones so that you can easily call it out by name and protect yourself.

Once you learn all about these bullying methods, you will be better able to see through them, speak out about them, and bully-proof yourself.

This post is all about all the bullying tactics so that you have the knowledge you need to defend yourself from even the most subtle attacks.

Bullying Tactics

1. Relational aggression (Sometimes Called Social Aggression)

Smear Campaigns

Since the beginning of time, bullies of all ages and backgrounds have always employed the smear campaign as their weapon of choice. Why? Simple. Because they work.

This is why the smear campaign is THE top most used bullying tactic of all. It’s employed by not only bullies against you, but many politicians against their opponents. Moreover, people with NPD use them against their victims.

Also, domestic abusers use them against their partners and dictators against anyone who dissents.

Smears always start subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

Consequently, if enough people buy into a smear, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. And there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

Therefore, bullies destroy you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas.

Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that everything is likely to stick. They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the rest.

It shouldn’t be so easy, but sadly, it is.

As the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

Moreover, once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

If they can’t control you, they will control what others think of you.

2. Bullying tactics:

Redundancy – Repeating the Same Lies

Have you noticed how bullies tend to repeat the same personal attacks over and over again? It’s as if they’re going by a script!

Like Josef Goebbels said, “a lie repeated a thousand times becomes truth.

However, luckily for you, this can also backfire on the bullies and have the opposite effect. It can become boring.

In other words, the attacks can go on for so long, they become so boring that they actually lose their effect. Why?

Because, instead of tapering off once the attacks give them the desired outcome, the bullies only increase them.

They make this mistake trying to make sure that the rumors stick. Put simpler, bullies repeat the same garbage because their afraid others will forget how disgusting you are.

Therefore, they repeat the same tired, worn-out narratives and they end up losing support. Hence, it backfires right in their faces.

Therefore, let them repeat, repeat, repeat until they shoot themselves in the foot!

3. Use your friends against you.

First, let me say this. If your friends are allowing themselves to be used by your bullies aren’t friends at all. What they are, is a bunch of scumbags!

Therefore, treat them accordingly.

The reason your bullies may use them against you is because your friends likely know details about you that others aren’t privy to.

So, how do bullies weaponize your friends?

They have them ask you questions
They have them stick extra close to you.
They have them go through your belongings when you aren’t around.
They have them hawk your social media profiles and pages.

Therefore, it’s best to ditch these friends and find better ones.

4. Bullying tactics: Barking orders

When bullies order you around, they do it for power and to make you look like a wimp. Moreover they deny your equality and autonomy.

Instead of respectfully asking for what they want you, your bullies only give orders as if you’re a subordinate. Proverbially, this is how bullies claim ownership of you.

Understand that no one has the right to give you orders other than your boss, teachers or your parents. Therefore, if a classmate or coworker steps over the line and barks an order, you tell them, “I don’t take orders.”

The trick is to counter the order. It’s the only way to maintain your autonomy, self-esteem and keep feeling good about yourself.

5. Putting you on the defense

That’s right. And bullies will do it purposefully and for a reason. They put you on the defense to make you look “defensive” because they know that defensiveness makes a person look either guilty or cr*zy.

Later, they provoke you into a fight and tell everyone else, “See? What did I tell you?”

This is also called, “baiting” because, essentially, they bait you into a fight.

Therefore, when bullies make such predictions, take it as a warning. And it should warn you that your bullies are about to pull some shady stuff on you and that you need to watch out.

It should tell you that what is really happening is that your bullies are the ones plotting to provoke you into a physical altercation.

In other words, while the bullies are making such wild predictions about you, they’re setting everything up to happen exactly how they’re predicting. But why?

So they can turn around and say, “See? We told you so! If so and so wasn’t guilty, they wouldn’t be denying and explaining it so vehemently!

Realize that this kind of deception is easy to pull off. It shouldn’t work but it does!

Therefore, it pays to recognize when bullies unknowingly give themselves away. Then call it out by saying,

“With that statement, you just busted yourselves, and you’re too st*pid to realize it.” And say it without elaborating on it any further.

6. Bullying Tactics: Giving Unsolicited advice

Bullies are good at giving unsolicited advice, even through they despise it when the shoe is on the other foot.

Therefore, they freely advise you on how think, act, or feel under any circumstances. What bullies are best at is telling you how you should react to the very abuse they inflict. These morons have a lot of nerve, don’t they?

However, I want you to understand why bullies do this. Bullies give unsolicited advice because it serves them to do so.

How does it serve them, you may ask? It does so by giving their audience the impression that they know more and are more qualified than you.

In other words, bullies don’t give advice to help you. They give it to help themselves– to look cute and like they’re smarter than you.

Therefore, if you don’t know why bullies do it nor how to counter it, it can chip away at your self-esteem. So, what are ways that you can counter some smartass who gives you advice you didn’t ask for?

How do you counter it?

You counter this by having a clear understanding that the weight another person’s opinion carries depends on their relationship with you. Or, at least, it should.

Put another way, the people who are the closest to you and whom you feel closest to are those whose opinions you should value the most. These are the people who love and care for you the most- your parents, grandparents, your spouse- your dearest family and friends.

In contrast, the opinions of any bullies, fake friends, anyone who uses and abuses you, should carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t need a bully’s cheap two cents worth!

Never give value to anything that has none. In other words, stop giving undue value to the opinions of those who aren’t worth your consideration.

7. Bullying Tactics: Asking Gotcha Questions

Not only are politicians notorious for asking gotcha-questions, but bullies are also infamous for asking them. What are gotcha-questions, you may ask?

Gotcha-questions are questions that put you in a bad light no matter how you respond to them or if you respond to them at all. These are the types of questions bullies will usually ask you in public, in front of an audience.

Gotcha-questions are forms of entrapment because bullies use them to trap you into looking bad to others.

Here are examples of Gotcha-Question bullying tactics:

“Hey, Jeff, do your friends know you got arrested the other day?”

This question says that Jeff did get arrested. It implies that he is a criminal and assumes that he was arrested whether his friends know it or not. If Jeff answers yes, it means that he’s a criminal and his friends know about it. If he answers no, it still means that Jeff is a criminal, only that none of his friends knows.

These types of questions are “gotchas” because they are closed-ended questions that leave no room for the truth.

“Tabitha, did you ever get help for your alcoholism?”

By asking this question, the asker is calling Tabitha an alc*holic without directly calling her one. It’s a slick way for the asker to attack her.

A yes means that Tabitha was “a drunk” in the past. On the other hand, a no implies that Tabitha is still a “boozehound.” And that’s what people will think.

Furthermore, if she responds by saying, “I’ve never had a drinking problem,” it would sound like a cover-up. Why? Because others would wonder why anyone would ask such a question if they weren’t privy to such private information? It implies that the asker knows information that hasn’t been available to anyone else.

Here are a few healthy responses to such questions:

“You’re wasting your time with the gotcha-questions because they don’t work on me.”

“You need to quit with the gotcha-questions. I know what you’re trying to do. You’re fooling no one.”

The trick here is to call the person out by calling the questions what they are. And when you do, do it as intelligently as possible. It may or may not save your good name, but you’ll feel good knowing that you called it out without allowing the bully to throw you off balance. And sometimes, that’s enough.

8. Bullying Tactics: Insulting questions

“Why are you so r*tarded, arrogant, ignorant, etc.)?

Understand that these questions aren’t really questions. They’re only accusations made in the form of questions.

Bullies are notorious for asking their targets rhetorical questions, which are questions designed to illicit a dramatic effect and to make a point, not necessarily to get an answer.

In other words, these questions are only innuendo.

They insinuate the target’s perceived lack of intelligence, sarcastic attitude, indifference, refusal to listen to reason, obnoxiousness, uselessness, or worthlessness.

The best way to counter these questions is to come back with something sarcastic. Here are some snappy answers to the above questions:

“Why are you so st*pid?”

“Maybe it’s because I lose a few million brain cells every time I hear you speak.”

“Why are you such a smart-ass?”

“Gee! Maybe it’s because morons like you bring it out in me.”

“Why are you so r*tarded?”

“Because listening to the trash that comes out of your mouth would make anyone r*tarded.”

“Why are you such a loser?”

“Maybe because I’ve been around you too long and it’s rubbing off on me.”

Always counter with sarcasm! Bullies’ hate being made a fool of and I guarantee that answers with some burn will take the wind out of their sails.

9. Bullying Tactics: Body Language

Threatening body language can be any physical gesture, such as dirty looks, invading your personal space, or touching your things.

How you stand up to this is to return the dirty look or tell them to get out of your personal space. You can also tell them to stop touching your belongings.

This may or may not change their behavior. However, you’ll feel great just knowing that you stood up to the creeps.

This post was all about the subtler forms of bullying tactics so that you can recognize them and respond appropriately.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. The 4 Stages of Bullying

5. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

December 7, 2024February 8, 20268 Comments

‘Want to know why your bullies set the explaining trap for you and how you should respond to it? Here are several reasons they use this tactic and what you can do to blow them off and save your energy.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into falling into the explaining trap. It’s a trap because, no matter how much you explain things to the bullies, they will only pretend not to understand. Moreover, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the explaining trap, why bullies use it, and what you can do to shut them down.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to confidently stonewall them. And the best part is that you’ll save time and energy for more important tasks.

This post is all about the explaining trap and what you can do to protect yourself from bullies and abusers who use it.

The Explaining Trap

Most things don’t need an explanation. Yet bullies are good at getting their victims to explain things that don’t need explaining.

Worst of all, victims of bullying don’t know how not to get sucked into needlessly explaining themselves. Therefore, they end up wasting their breath on people who aren’t worthy of their time or consideration.

As a result, they end up making themselves even bigger targets and get stuck in endless cycles of having to explain their every move.

This can become exhausting and, not to mention, dis-empowering! Therefore, you must realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

Why do Bullies use this evil technique?

1. To throw you off-balance

Again, bullies love to trick you into explaining yourself. However, no matter how much you explain, the bullies will only act as if they don’t understand your explanation. Or, they simply won’t accept it, no matter how logical it may be.

Moreover, your bullies will keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trap! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

2. The Explaining Trap

To gather ammunition with which to fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more chances they have to reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you sooner or later.

Moreover, they may use this psychological weaponry either the next day or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies, and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then your bullies respond, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

3. To trip you up

Oftentimes, when bullies dupe you into explaining anything to them, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down, and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, chances are that you won’t be able to keep your story straight, no matter how truthful it is. But understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

So, What do you do?

In other words, how do you respond to this tactic intelligently and with strength?

There are several smart ways to respond to the explaining trap.

1. “You know what you did.”

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

You want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curveball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Realize that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! In fact, you don’t have to explain anything to anyone.

2. “You know when it happened.”

You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

The trick is to keep your response as concise as possible. In other words, use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Because, again, you don’t owe them shit!

3. the explaining trap:

“Stop Pretending you don’t know what you did.”

This response is especially good! Why? Because not only are you not explaining anything to them, you’re also calling out what your bullies are trying to do. And they’re trying to play you – to pretend they don’t know what they did to piss you off.

Therefore, you keep the upper hand with this comeback. Even better, you keep your self-respect and dignity.

4. “Just Stop it!”

This is another smart response. It’s short, it’s to the point, and it’s only three little words! Moreover, you’re setting a boundary any time you say “Stop.”

Also, you can say this if your bullies continue to ask more questions. With this response, you immediately cut off any further manipulation. In fact, you stop it dead in its tracks!

And, once you say it, put up your hand and walk away.

5. “What Are You? Five?”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, but you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, but you’re also making them look like fools!

Therefore, you win!

6. The Explaining Trap:

“Do I Have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like clueless dingbats. Moreover, it takes their curveball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and make them look stewwwwpid!

However, most victims, sadly, miss that opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But don’t worry, and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover, there isn’t much information available on how to respond to these types of tactics.

7.”Just get out of here.”

This is a good comeback because it tells the bullies that you won’t allow them to manipulate you. Moreover, it signals that you don’t want them around. And, if witnesses are around to see it, it only makes it that much better!

Another advantage of this response is that you can tailor it to your preferred communication style. You can substitute it with “Get lost,” “Hit the road,” “Get bent,” and much more.

8. You can even choose not to respond verbally.

In other words, you can only use body language to get your point across. All you have to do is eyeball your bullies while standing straight and tall with your neck lengthened.

Show your bullies through your eyes and body language that you won’t put up with their crap. Then, walk away.

If you do this, I guarantee you that they’ll get your point loud and clear!

9. The Explaining Trap:

Sometimes, You can just not respond at all.

You can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work. Sometimes it does and sometimes not. It depends on the personality types you’re dealing with.

For instance, if you’re dealing with a person with narcissistic personality disorder, this definitely won’t work. So, use good judgment. Don’t over-explain.

This post was all about the explaining trap and how you can respond so that you can recognize it when your BULLIes are USING it on you and deal with it intelligently.

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3. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

4. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies