Tag: bullying

unwanted, aggressive behavior among school-aged children that involves a real or perceived power imbalance. The behavior is repeated, or has the potential to be repeated, over time.

suicidal empathy meaning

Suicidal Empathy: 9 Signs and Examples of Empathetic Suicide

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‘What is suicidal empathy? How do you know you suffer from it? Here’s everything you need to know so that you won’t empathize with people who secretly want to harm you.

suicidal empathy

Suicidal empathy has become a hot topic in recent months. Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly what it is. You will also learn the signs and examples of it so that you can see it more clearly.

Once you learn these crucial details, you will be able to identify whether you have it and prevent further self-sabotage.

This post is all about suicidal empathy, so that you know if you have it and realize that it’s okay to protect yourself from those who mean you harm.

What is Suicidal Empathy?

Suicidal empathy is the kind of toxic empathy where you feel bad for the very people who are trying to destroy you. When you have suicidal empathy, you empathize with the wrong people.

To put it another way, you empathize at your own expense.

For instance, you may feel guilty for standing up for yourself. You may believe that you truly deserve to be punished. Here you will discover all the hallmarks of this deadly mental disease.

Signs of Suicidal Empathy.

1. You make excuses for your bullies who are clearly out to hurt you.

You want so badly for them to be your friends that you will go out of your way to prove to them that you are worthy of their friendship. But, friend, let me tell you. You’re spinning your tires for nothing.

So they do something nasty to you, and a family member who loves you sees it. And they aren’t having it.

So, they tell your bullies off and tell them to get the hell off your property. Next, you turn to the caring family member and ask, “Why’d you do that? They were only horsing around.” This is only one example. However, it’s the most popular in this situation.

Realize that bullies may act as if they want to be your friend. And they do this in groups. They pull this game on their victims all the time. But “why would they do that?” You may ask. They do it specifically to get close enough to harm you.

Mostly, school bullies pull this tactic.

They may covertly humiliate you. Or, they may claim to like you, then take subtle potshots to shock you.

So, they surround you in your own yard. The lead bully throws a slight dig at you. Then they slyly look at the other bullies in the group and smile. And then, wink-wink, nod-nod.

You hear quiet snickers and giggles. And you wonder, if they’re swearing up and down that they’re your friends, why are they acting like this?

I’ll tell you why. They’re doing it to keep you confused and on the back foot. Realize that they have likely planned this out from the get-go. Again, they wanted to get close enough to you to get you. And the only way they could do that is to pretend friendship.

So, they make a complete fool of you. And they do it so that they can get together later and laugh at you behind your back. Therefore, if a parent or sibling comes and tells your so-called friends to get lost, pay attention.

Your family member might see something that you’re missing.

2. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

You’re in an abusive relationship, and you get angry at your parents for suggesting that you leave the creep.

You’re a girl who is dating Mr. handsome and charming. He does and says all the right things at the right time. And he showers you with affections and gifts.

This guy seems like the one of your dreams. Then slowly, as the months go by, the gifts get less frequent. So does the affection. He begins taking little nibbles at your self-esteem by making sneaky digs and suggestions.

For instance, you have invited him to dinner at your parents’ house. During dinner, you tell him about your dream of going to college. And he very sweetly asks you,

“Honey, you are a brilliant lady. Don’t get me wrong. It’s why I love you. But college is tough. Are you sure that you would make it? I don’t want you to end up disappointed.”

You may think that your boyfriend is telling you this because he loves you. After all, he seems concerned and doesn’t want you to suffer disappointment.

Enmity is often disguised as love and concern.

However, your parents see through his candy-coated suggestion. They realize that he is subtly planting seeds of doubt in your mind. And he’s disguising it as love and concern.

Later, after he leaves, your parents tell you that it would not be wise to continue dating this guy. As a result, they annoy you. And you ask them why they would say such a thing.

When they tell you that he’s trying to control you, you only wave them away. You respond with, “That’s ridiculous. He’s only telling me that because he loves me.”

But they know better. Still, you get irritated and snap at them before leaving. This is what suicidal empathy looks like. You empathize with the wrong person—one who only pretends to have your best interests at heart.

A year later, the abuse has escalated, and he’s leaving bruises all over your body. And you look back and realize that your parents were right. They saw something in this boy that you missed.

3. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

You make excuses for your out-of-control child.

You’re a parent of a fourteen-year-old daughter. She has given you trouble since she was eleven. Your daughter has been sneaking out on the weekends.

Her grades are in the toilet. Why? Because getting her to study is like pulling teeth. And she never turns in her homework.

Moreover, she has been fighting at school and in the streets. And she’s had a few encounters with law enforcement. You dismiss her behavior, saying that she is “just going through some things.”

The following week, someone from the police station calls you. They inform you that your girl was caught shoplifting makeup from a department store.

Still, you don’t have the intestinal fortitude to correct your child. Instead, you blame the store for being greedy and the police for being too hard on her.

4. Your son just beat the crap out of you, and you turn around and bail him out of jail.

You have an overly entitled son. He yells at you, and talks shit to you, and you stand there and talk it. Or, you do the gentle parenting routine. You speak to him about respect and why it’s essential.

But the kid isn’t going for it. He thinks he knows better than you do. Therefore, he tells you that he’s going to do whatever the hell he wants. And there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

On the weekends, he sits on his butt in your basement, playing video games all day. During the week, he skips school most days to hang out with his buddies.

When you find out what the boy has been doing, you confront him. This escalates to an argument. Then, you both come to blows, and he beats the thunder out of you.

So, you call the cops, and they arrest him. And, the next day, you post his bail. You tell others that he’s really a good kid, but he’s going through a lot. He’s depressed. Or, he’s having a rough time of it.

And that’s why he just whooped your ass. Right?

5. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

Unnecessary Guilt.

We could use a few examples here. The other kids are bullying you in the locker room. They’re beating you up. Or, they may be calling you names. They might even be playing cruel jokes on you.

However, you feel guilty for their behavior. Why? Because you believe that you must have done something to make them do it. Only you don’t know what you did.

You don’t realize that they have conditioned you to believe it’s your fault.

Maybe you’re a battered wife whose husband snaps and punches her in the face. And he tells you that if you don’t do things to piss him off, he won’t hit you. Sadly, you believe him.

Or, you make excuses for his behavior. “He just lost his job,” or “He’s going through a hard time right now. He doesn’t mean to do these things.”

Therefore, each time he slaps you around, you wonder what you must have done. And the cycle continues.

And if someone in your family committed a severe crime, that has no bearing on you. You’re not guilty. Therefore, you aren’t responsible.

Toxic people will try to make you feel guilty for things that you, personally, haven’t done. So, don’t fall for that.

6. Self-hatred.

You’ve been bullied at school or at work. Or, maybe the media has convinced you that you are evil based on some physical characteristic. Moreover, they say that everyone who has that trait is evil.

So, you become ashamed of being who you are. If you could get rid of that trait, you would be perfect. Right?

If you’re bullied at school for having red hair, you grow to hate your hair. So, instead of loving yourself as you are, you allow bullies to define you. Instead of refusing to believe the garbage they spew, you take it as gospel.

There’s one thing you need to know right now. Others may hate you, but you should never hate yourself. Never allow them to cause you to see yourself through their lens.

Stop allowing others to define who you are. Only you have that knowledge!

7. Suicidal Empathy:

Feeling guilty for defending yourself.

During the last ten years, society has trained us not to defend ourselves. For example, six years ago, some implied that you had no right to call 911 if someone invaded your home.

They claimed you valued your belongings more than the home invader’s life. However, there’s something you should know.

You have every right to defend yourself. Why? Because all humans have this instinct. Its name is “self-preservation instinct” or “survival instinct.”

Therefore, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. You have a God-given, animal right to protect your own life and the lives of your family. Always remember that!

8. You virtue signal.

When you virtue signal, you are willing to do some really degrading things. And for what? To prove to others that you aren’t what they say you are?

For instance, a few years back, we watched videos of people kneeling before certain interest groups. And they did it in public? Why? Because they wanted to show the world that they weren’t “racists.”

If you feel you must bend over backwards to win approval, then you’re an insecure person. To degrade yourself for people whose approval you never had and never will? That’s a weakness to the greatest extent.

Why waste your energy trying to prove yourself to people who will never validate you anyway? It’s a waste of time! No matter what you do, the people you bow down to will always hate you.

Moreover, they will laugh at you because of the fool you make of yourself. Anytime you pander to people who couldn’t care less about you, you only embarrass yourself.

Stop humiliating yourself! You have nothing to prove to anyone but God and yourself. You see? If you aren’t an evil person, there’s no need to prove it. Your goodness is already there, whether others notice it or not.

Suicidal Empathy:

The Great Pandering

Today, you see governments turning somersaults to protect criminals and invaders and make excuses for them. And they only punish the innocent. Moreover, they hang their own citizens out to dry. Why? To prove that they aren’t Islamophobes or xenophobes.

Moreover, it’s how schools and workplaces protect bullies. You see companies throwing away talent and hard work in favor of identity and ideology. This is a form of virtue signaling.

Understand that if you are secure in who you are, you won’t feel the need to prove that you aren’t the label of the day. Therefore, you’ll punish wrong and reward right without fear.

Another way you pander is to pander to bullies because you’re afraid they might punish you somehow. But know this. When you feel you must pander, it’s a sign that someone is gaslighting you.

9. You downplay your own positive qualities to make someone else feel better about themselves.

If nothing else, understand this: If anyone tries to convince you that you must shrink yourself, they are not the ones you need to be around.

For example, a married woman has an opportunity to land a job that pays her twice what her abusive husband makes. And she turns it down because she doesn’t want to make him angry by out-earning him.

Moreover, this doesn’t only happen in marriages. It also happens in friendships, at school, and in the workplace.

So, again, if you must make yourself small to boost someone else’s ego, then you may need to make adjustments.

Suicidal Empathy:

In Conclusion

Empathizing with people who are down on their luck is fine. However, empathizing with wrongdoers puts you in danger.

Therefore, we must know the difference between empathy and suicidal empathy. Know the kind of people we are feeling sorry for. And once we do, we will be able to place our empathy where it belongs.

And, most importantly, we can do it while ensuring our safety.

This post was all about suicidal empathy so that you will know how to empathize without doing it at your own expense.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Guilty Conscience: The Top 4 Ways Bullies Act When You Speak Up

2. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person 

3. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

5. Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common 

when bullying backfires at school

When Bullying Backfires: 7 Things that Happen

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‘Want to know what happens when bullying backfires? Here is everything you need to know to be encouraged to defend yourself against bullies.

when bullying backfires

In this post, you will learn what happens when bullying backfires.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will smile when you see a bully get their comeuppance. Moreover, you will be encouraged to defend yourself when a bully comes for you.

This post is all about what happens when bullying backfires, so that you will defend yourself when you face bullying.

When Bullying Backfires

It doesn’t happen often, I’m sad to say. However, there are times when bullying backfires in a big way. I’ve seen times when bullies bullied a victim and did not get the reaction or the attention they wanted.

Here’s what happens.

1. the victim gets sympathy from bystanders.

In most cases, bystanders become bullies themselves and join in. However, sometimes, they don’t and end up surprising you.

This happened to me a few times. However, it only occurred occasionally. Nevertheless, it was a relief when it did. There were times when I got sympathy from a few upperclassmen when I was in the ninth grade and being bullied.

And they helped me report the bullying. A few of them also stood up for me when a group of bullies tried to tag-team me in the school parking lot. And I could not have been more grateful to those older girls.

The point of this section is this. Sometimes, you will gain sympathy from bystanders when bullies gang up on you. It’s rare, but it happens. Therefore, when this does occur, be grateful and bask in it.

Also, you must see this as an opportunity to make friends with these people.

2. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully faces accountability.

Sometimes, people in authority do the right thing. However, this only happens rarely.

There will be times when your bullies do something foolish and end up exposing themselves to authority. Superiors may suspend, fire, or arrest the bully, leaving you off the hook for acting in self-defense.

I tell this from personal experience because it happened to me a few times in school. So it can for you too. And when it does, look at it with an attitude of gratitude.

3. The bully gets backlash.

Bullies love attention, and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder. However, their bully sometimes backfires, and they get attention they don’t want and never expected.

Instead of admiring them for their “strength,” witnesses only look down on them for being such assholes. Moreover, others may retaliate against them.

The last thing bullies want is to lose face. In fact, losing respect and admiration is what they fear most. They never expected it to backfire as it did. And now, they’re getting backlash they never thought possible!

Therefore, your bullies will likely leave you alone. Moreover, they will find someone else who is safer for them to bully.

4. When Bullying Backfires:

the bully loses credibility.

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. Bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

Also, they must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Bullies think that people must adore them at all times. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

This is why most bullies are fakes, frauds, and impostors. Therefore, they have to hustle to keep that image that impresses others. Consequently, they mask their true selves. But understand that they do this out of insecurity.

Bullies aren’t happy with themselves and fear that their true selves will be exposed. And there are times when bystanders see them for the losers they are. Once others see through the bully’s facade, the bully becomes a laughingstock.

Although the bullies are afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves, that is exactly what happens.

I’ve seen this happen many times. And, let me tell you! Hell hath no fury like bullies exposed. Be aware that your bullies will retaliate against you to tip the scales of power back in their favor. Therefore, you must be vigilant.

5. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully becomes a crybully.

Most bullies don’t mind provoking you over and over, but when you finally get fed up and show your ugly side, they aren’t only surprised but also offended. Realize that bullies are cowards. They’re also entitled little brats.

Why? Because they think they should be allowed to treat others any way they want without repercussions. They think that they are beyond reproach and feel that the world owes them.

Therefore, when you don’t bow down to them and take the abuse, they don’t like it. When you finally get fed up with their crap and respond in kind, they suddenly get their little feelings hurt.

They then morph into a crybaby who runs to the authority and cries like a little bitch. Think Nellie Olson and Nancy Olson in the TV series, “Little House on the Prairie.”

But see this for what it is. The bully is doing this to make you look like the bully and gain sympathy. And sadly, most bullies are successful at this. Therefore, it’s up to you to call out this behavior and ensure that you don’t take the blame for it.

So, don’t be afraid to name it and shame it.

6. They become a laughingstock.

Bullies must have approval from others at all times. And most bullies bully for it. And, if they don’t get approval, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get it.

Understand that bullies are simps. They only simp in ways that aren’t so obvious. However, understand that anyone who seeks approval, no matter how they do it, is a needy and pathetic human being.

Sadly, bullying usually gives them the attention they are looking for. However, in some cases, it only produces the opposite. Instead of cheering for and admiring them, bystanders only make fun of them. And rightfully so.

I’ve also seen this happen.

7. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully loses power.

When you take back your power, bullies react in various ways. This is because they feel a sense of dismissal or rejection when you stop letting them control you. Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they consider inferior. That’s a blow to the ego like no other!

Why? Because the power dynamic automatically shifts in your favor.

Also, others may finally see them for the creeps they are and lose respect for them. So, they lose social power and influence as well.

The mighty always fall the hardest.

Here are several ways bullies lose power.

1. You stand up to the bully.

Anytime you stand up to a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. In other words, you put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority.

You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. Bullies feel that they must always be in a position of power in the bully/victim relationship.

A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them is someone they’ve grown accustomed to having power over, it makes them livid. But their anger only further exposes them.

You must realize the reason for this. This is because you’re likely at the bottom of the pecking order. So, when you finally buck up and stand up to a bully, you, figuratively, trade places with the bully and put them on the bottom, if only for that moment.

Bullies rely on fear. Therefore, when you show them you aren’t scared of them, they take a few steps back and rethink their decision to mess with you.

And when you’ve finally had enough of their gas and set your foot down? You will throw them off balance. And do you know what else you’ll do?

You’ll blast a massive hole in their ego and shock the hell out of them.

When Bullying Backfires:

When a bully loses power, be prepared for anything.

Bullies are very prideful, and their pride takes a massive blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than be made inferior, especially to their targets.

Therefore, if you are a victim of bullying and you finally grow a spine, your bullies will do anything they can to break it. They will escalate the bullying when you first stop accepting it.

So, prepare for them to act out at first. However, keep standing your ground, and they will eventually realize that you aren’t worth the trouble. Then, they’ll leave you alone and search for another victim.

2. You DON’T respond the way the bullies expected.

Remember that bullies think that you’re weak. They never bet on the possibility that you may be a little smarter than they are. So, you let them assume what they want and trap them with it.

What do I mean? I mean that your bullies expect an emotional reaction from it. It’s how they get their power.

And when you stay calm, it throws them off. Then they become even more emotional to try to trigger your emotions. And when you finally come to a place where they can no longer faze you, you are better able to use your head.

Understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they can no longer think clearly. That’s when you have the opportunity to use it to your advantage.

Responding to a bully inventively isn’t as hard as you think. It’s pretty easy if you don’t let intense emotions get in your way.

3. When Bullying Backfires:

You snap and BEAT the crap out of them.

If you’re dealing with physical bullies who use their fists, you must defend yourself in the only language they understand. So, you finally grow sick of them using you as a punching bag and beat the living shit out of them.

Not only do they feel physical pain, but they also never thought they’d feel. But they also suffer the humiliation of getting their butts handed to them. Therefore, physical bullies will likely leave you alone if you give them a dose of their own medicine.

Moreover, others will know that they were never as tough as they made themselves out to be.

In conclusion

It may not occur often, but bullying does backfire. And when it does, it’s glorious to watch! Let this encourage you.

This post was all about what happens when bullying backfires so that you can keep this in mind and be encouraged to defend yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

3. Bullying Story: Endurance, Survival, and the Will to Overcome

4. When Bystanders Become Bullies: 11 Behaviors of Bully-Supporters

5. When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

examples of a teacher bullying a student in school

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student: School Mobbing

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‘Want to see some examples of a teacher bullying a student? Here are all the examples you need to read so that you can recognize it when a teacher bullies you or your child.

examples of a teacher bullying a student

No one has the right to bully you. That includes teachers, school staff, and parents. And yes, there are a few teachers who do participate in the bullying and mobbing of targeted students.

In this post, you will learn the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you can recognize it if it happens to you.

Once you learn all these examples, you will know when it happens and be better able to handle it.

This post will give you examples of a teacher bullying a student, so you will know how to deal with it if it ever happens to you.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student

Setting examples is the most powerful way to educate others. Therefore, when a teacher participates in bullying a child, they set a terrible example for the entire student body.

They send an obvious message that it’s okay to abuse and brutalize this particular kid. They signal to the rest of the class that it’s OK to demonize and dehumanize them. As a result, they strip them of their dignity.

So everyone else joins in, too, because they know it’s okay to destroy them. After all, they must “deserve it” if the teacher is doing it. Right?

And many of the teachers who do these damaging things to targeted kids? They either don’t know what they’re doing or don’t care. Either way, working with kids isn’t their forte.

Abuse is abuse. And some teachers abuse these kids in the name of “discipline.”

They warn other teachers about the targeted student.

Bully teachers are notorious for gossiping about targeted kids. They share and swap rumors and horror stories about these children and warn other educators about them.

Therefore, they set these poor children up for more bullying before others get the chance to know them. Often, they do these things right in front of the poor child to crush their spirit.

Sometimes, teachers will circulate vicious rumors, defamation, and opinions throughout the entire community. Moreover, they even share confidential information about the child.

Even worse, they will also spread speculation about the kid’s parents and attack their parenting skills. This happens more today than ever.

Is it any wonder that many people view the public school system so negatively?

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

When adults bully, bullying is difficult to stop.

There’s no way to stop the soul-crushing, mob-style bullying of a kid when the adults do it. These are those who should know better and be there to protect the young victim. However, they are committing the same abuse as the other classmates.

There have been countless occurrences and testimonies of bullying parents, mobbing and bullying other parents, teachers, and, yes, children and teens too.

Others overhear teachers maliciously and viciously gossiping about targeted kids. They hear it in the hallway between classes and in staff bathrooms.

And the other kids, who overhear these adults, use it to escalate their bullying. Why? Think about it. If an adult is bullying a kid, it must mean it’s acceptable.

The best we can do is to educate the teachers and staff. They do not realize the harm they cause these children.

As for the handful of teachers who don’t care and continue their bullying, they cannot be helped. It’s best to get them out of the school system and away from our young altogether. And the sooner we do, the safer they will be.

School Staff do not Give Bullied Kids any due process.

This is because they label victims of mobbing and bullying. They label them as “trouble,” “difficult,” or “problem child.”

It sets the targeted kid up to be discriminated against by their school. Why?  When adults show prejudice against a particular student, it creates a hostile and dangerous environment.

In these situations, the victim is only bullied further. And school staff don’t give them the same due process as their classmates.

As a result, the school staff ends up empowering the bullies. Even worse, they end up encouraging other bullies to bully that child.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

Victims may act out due to prolonged bullying and THE resulting stress.

Let’s face it, no one can withstand the intense pressure of bullying and mobbing for long. A person can only be pushed so far. If you kick a dog long enough, it will bite you eventually.

When classmates bully and mob a target, they force them to submit to horrendous and downright grotesque abuse.  This kind of bullying is unfathomable to most adults.

The message victims receive from others is just to “shut up and take it.” In fact, when you suffer school bullying and mobbing, your world becomes quite Kafkaesque. Even you have a hard time believing what you’re experiencing.

So, is it any wonder that no one else can believe it either? The questions, “What the hell?” and “Is this really happening?” come to mind.  You feel as if you’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

This is because being mobbed is the feeling of being crushed by nonsensical, bizarre, and blind abuse.

Even worse, They are powerless to understand or control what is happening.

The victim suffers mistreatment, isolation, exclusion, and yes, even brutal physical beatings. Therefore, he’ll be too afraid to plead for help. Why? Because they know that the school staff will ignore their cries for help.

And, do you know what’s more frightening? It’s that the bullies will retaliate against them for daring to speak up.

Eventually, the victim snaps and misbehaves due to long-lasting and extreme stress. And school staff will ignore the bullying they suffer. However, they won’t ignore the victim’s reactions to it.

Therefore, they will only re-victimize them.

In other words, teachers and principals punish the victim for their reaction. They don’t bother addressing the bullying that caused it.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

example 1:

Everyone in class bullies a particular girl. The teacher either doesn’t see it or thinks the girl deserves it.

Maybe the teacher thinks bullying is just a rite of passage that builds character. During one occasion, the bully sitting behind the targeted girl pulls her hair.

The victim then gets fed up with being mistreated. Unable to tolerate any more abuse, she turns around and punches the bully who pulled her hair.

Now the teacher, very conveniently, doesn’t see the other girl pull the target’s hair. However, she sees the victim turn around and punch her in the nose.

Therefore, the teacher punishes the victim without even considering what the other girl did to provoke her.

staff prevent the target from defending themselves.

The message the teacher sends is crystal clear. The target has no recourse. Therefore, the bully has carte blanche to continue bullying them.

So, this exact scenario repeats itself a few times. And, before long, the victim has a bad name with the staff. That’s when everyone becomes very suspicious of her.

The principal catches the target in the hall between classes. He tells her, aloud, in front of the other classmates, that he is watching her. The other kids, especially the bullies, overhear the principal.

As a result, bullies take it as a green light to continue their abuse. And why not? They know the victim will be blamed. Not them.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

After all, who’s going to believe the “problem child?”

So, the staff continues to harangue the target. They make their situation much worse than it needs to be. And, do you know how they justify it? They do it by claiming to want to protect the other kids who fit into what is “normal” and obey the rules.

Therefore, they use that to defend their emotional abuse of the target. It’s all an excuse for their singling them out for humiliation in front of God and everyone.

And this is why most bullying teachers get away with it. And know that these teachers also bully other teachers, not just the pupils.

Understand that, when this occurs, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being. Therefore, it’s imperative that targeted kids and teens hold on to their sense of self, pride, and confidence.

And we must teach them how. Teach them hold on to those treasures with everything they have. It’s the only way they will graduate with their mental health intact.

It’s also crucial that parents and grandparents teach them to believe in themselves. And to hang on to that self-belief even when no one else believes in them.

Also, they must teach them to know their worth even when others don’t. They must teach them to love and respect themselves even when everyone hates them.

Why? Because it is during the most difficult times that they need these virtues the most.

Here is a list of examples of a teacher bullying a student.

  • Ignoring them when they have a question in class.
  • Humiliating them in front of class.
  • Denying them due process.
  • Ignoring them when they report bullying.
  • Spreading rumors about them to other teachers.
  • Punishing them for things that others get away with.
  • Giving them lower grades and marks, even for excellent assignments.
  • A rash of disparaging remarks on report cards.
  • Saying bad things about the pupil’s parents and their parenting skills.
  • Allowing others to mistreat them.
  • Joining in when classmates bully them.

This post was all about the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you will easily recognize it if it happens to you or your children.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

5. Teachers Bullying Teachers: When a Teacher is the Victim

leaving a toxic environment quotes

Leaving a Toxic Environment: 5 Reasons to Do So

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‘Want to know the reasons for leaving a toxic environment? Here is everything you need to know.

leaving a toxic environment

“In a toxic environment, we cannot expect anything positive to grow.” – Unknown –

In this post, you will discover why leaving a toxic environment is better for your mental health than staying.

Once you learn all these vital truths, you will be compelled to remove yourself from the environment that doesn’t give you the peace you deserve.

This post is all about leaving a toxic environment so that you can move on to a place where you can flourish and have peace of mind.

Leaving a Toxic Environment

Sometimes setting boundaries and enforcing boundaries against some people only makes them angrier and more determined to get you. And when standing up to bullying doesn’t work, it’s best to remove yourself from the environment.

But, know that you aren’t running from them, no matter what others may tell you. You are only doing what you know is best. Here’s why you should get out of the environment when defending yourself only makes things worse.

The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Our environments determine our mental health. They have ways of molding and shaping us, especially during our formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment is more than likely going to either grow up to be an abusive adult. Or they will grow up to be weakened and powerless.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) are the most impressionable and they determine their future!

Yes, there are exceptions to this rule. A few kids develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. Those are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most do not, and it’s sad.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

You have three types of environments

  • Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
  • Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
  • Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in will condition you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer!

For example, a certain kid lives in a loving and healthy home. But his classmates at school bully him mercilessly and without fail.

the math

A child or teen needs about 10 hours of sleep per day. So, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours, and you’re left with a total of 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours, and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Then we must factor in school bus or commuting time. For the average kid, the trip is about 30 minutes to 1 hour each way, unless they are a car rider.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round-trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours. The child now has only 4-5 waking hours at home in her loving, nourishing environment.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

In Simplest Terms

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

A bullied child spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment as they do at home. Therefore, the bullying he suffers in class will nullify the love and acceptance he gets at home.

And he will be conditioned either to hate himself or not to think much of himself. Why? Because he spends more time with his bullying peers than he spends with his loving and accepting family.

In other words, he’s still more likely to have self-esteem issues and lack confidence.

What happens to bullied kids who come from toxic homes?

This goes double for bullied kids who come from abusive homes. The mental health of someone who is bullied at school and abused or neglected at home will take an even bigger hit.

Why? Because they never get a reprieve from bullying. Abuse at home is a form of bullying in and of itself.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

This bears repeating.

How a student is treated in class has a significant impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely negate any love and acceptance she receives at home.

how to reverse the damage school bullies cause

The good news is that there are ways to mitigate the damage caused by school bullying. You can save your child’s mental health.

1. Create Opportunities for them to make friends away from school.

You could enroll your child in a martial arts class or a scout troop. You might even get them involved in a function in your church.

This will create more positive social experiences for them. It will create an even balance between the bullying they suffer and the friendships they enjoy.

Even better, it might even tip the scales and create more positive experiences and social interactions.

Therefore, the resulting rise in positive experiences and interactions will buffer the kid’s self-esteem. In other words, the bullying they suffer in the classroom won’t affect them as much.

Here are other things you can do for your child. You can help them create more positive connections and experiences by sending them to summer camp.

Also, you can do it by allowing them to attend neighborhood family cookouts where other kids are present.

There are many opportunities to seize. So, go for it! Give your bullied child these wonderful experiences. They will turn into awesome memories that will last a lifetime.

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

But what if the bullying still has a big impact?

You still may need to move away. Relocating may be a last resort. However, it is still a wise option if nothing else works. Remember, nothing is worth your or your child’s mental health.

If you cannot afford to move, I understand. However, if you have a bullied child, it is still easier to move them to another school. If you are being bullied at work, you can create an exit plan and find other employment.

Realize that you aren’t “chicken” for getting away from bullying. Getting out of any toxic situation isn’t “running away from your problems.” It’s self-care.

So, why should you leave the bullying environment if all else fails?

1. To get away from drama and toxicity

Life is too short to put up with other people’s bullshit. So, why not spend your life in a healthy place? Drama is exhausting. It depletes your physical and mental energy.

Therefore, it’s better to go where you can enjoy learning or working.

2. Leaving a Toxic Environment:

To go where you can grow and flourish.

When you’re in the right environment, one that is accepting, loving, and nurturing, you not only survive, you also thrive. Therefore, go where you can grow and flourish.

In a positive environment, under the right conditions, you feel free to be yourself. You can express your own ideas and opinions without fear.

Also, you can feel safe and secure. You can be confident and build positive relationships with others. This gives you the freedom to be creative and show your talents.

The people around you will encourage and support you. They will be cooperative and give you the freedom to be and do what you want.

Most importantly, they will nudge and push you to be your best. This is the kind of environment that nurtures your soul.

Whereas, in a toxic environment, one that is oppressive, you may only survive. In other words, you may only squeeze by if you’re lucky!

But even if you survive, you won’t grow. You’ll only stagnate, or worse, regress. Instead of flourishing, you’ll only wither.

3. To ensure your safety.

In a toxic environment, under terrible conditions, you aren’t free. You’re only a prisoner. You’re a slave – a victim. You need more than just food and water to survive; you also need positivity from your environment.

You need positive people around you. Human beings need all these things. They need diverse experiences, not sameness.

Sadly, a toxic, bullying environment only promotes sameness. It doesn’t tolerate any form of diversity because it loathes anything different.

Environmental stimuli have a huge impact on your psyche and social interactions. It can make you bitter or better. Your environment can cause progression or regression.

Therefore, you must remove yourself from an environment that sucks the oxygen out of you. It may not always be easy, but it’s a must if you want to salvage your self-esteem and mental health.

In doing so, you will save yourself a lot of stress and heartache. Also, you will save yourself months of recovery.

4. Leaving a Toxic Environment:

To make new friends.

When you leave a toxic environment and move to a healthy one, you give yourself the gift of a clean slate. As a result, you can start anew. You can reinvent yourself by putting your best foot forward.

Therefore, you create the opportunity to make new friends. For instance, if bullies in the old place trashed your reputation, that won’t matter here.

Why? Because you have no history with the people in your new environment. Moreover, there’s a lower chance that your reputation in your old place will follow you to the new one.

Therefore, these total strangers will be excellent opportunities to make good friends and keep them.

5. To increase your life-chances.

You have no opportunities in a bullying environment. For instance, if you’re bullied in a town, you’re least likely to gain employment. And your ability to make friends will be compromised because others will be too busy judging you.

When you escape a toxic environment, your chances for dating and marriage will increase. Chances for friendship will also rise. Moreover, you will more likely achieve gainful employment.

In a new, healthier environment, nothing can stop you!

Leaving a Toxic Environment:

Distance Can Be a Good Thing

Dealing with people who criticize you daily can quickly wear you down and break your spirit. Sadly, many people disrespect the same victim repeatedly over several years.

If you find yourself in this situation, those people will eventually train you to tolerate it if you aren’t careful. Therefore, you must do what you must to safeguard your mind. If that means leaving, then why not?

More Leaving A Toxic Environment Quotes

“Never fear leaving a toxic environment. Be true and caring to yourself. Trust there is peace and positivity out there.” – Brendon Burchard –

“In a toxic environment, we cannot expect anything to grow.”  – Unknown –

It’s the people who make an environment toxic. Leaving is always best.

This post is all about leaving a toxic environment and why it’s the best thing to do.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning 

2. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

3.  Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

revenge on bullies stories

Revenge on Bullies? Here are 17 Better Alternatives.

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‘Want to know why it isn’t necessary to get revenge on bullies? Here are better alternatives to revenge and reasons why it really isn’t worth it.

revenge on bulliesIt’s never wise to seek revenge. Ever! ‘Want to know why?

In this post, you will learn why it’s best to forget about getting revenge on bullies so that you can live a happier and more peaceful life.

Once you learn about this crucial information, you will be more compelled to move on and let your bullies fall on their own swords.

This post is all about the problem with seeking revenge on bullies, so you can drop the grudges and live a peaceful, happier life.

Revenge on Bullies. Is It a Good Idea?

Instead of taking it upon yourself to get revenge, It’s better to sit back, relax, and let Karma deal with them. Why? Because I guarantee that Karma can do a much better job than you ever could.

Revenge comes from hate, grudges and the desire to make someone suffer. Moreover, it’s a waste of energy. So, do you want to extend that kind of effort? That kind of ugliness? No. Because you’re better than that!

And they aren’t worth the effort. Revenge isn’t as sweet as it looks in the movies. In fact, it’s cancer that will eat you up inside if you dwell on it!

Thoughts of revenge only give your bullies more power.

What’s so bad about hate and thoughts of revenge is that you’re so preoccupied with those who wronged you. And they may still have you convinced that they’re all-powerful and untouchable while you’re powerless and at their mercy.

And it’s not true. But this is why you’re just itching to exact revenge on them. You find yourself ruminating over the many times they bullied and abused you. You play it over in your mind like a broken record.

You’re plagued with the thought that they got away with it. Understand that all this will only eat down into your soul, rot, and cause nothing but more pain.

Revenge on bullies:

Are they worth it?

I understand that sinking feeling of defeat. Realizing the possibility that your bullies didn’t get theirs!

Knowing that they can walk away free without the slightest clue that what they did was wrong is infuriating. Therefore, it’s normal to feel a sense of injustice.

Ignorance is bliss, and bullies are the most blissful people on the face of the earth! But understand that there’s a term for your bullies’ ignorance. It’s called willful ignorance.

And it happens when your bullies convince themselves that they did nothing wrong and that you got what you deserved.

Revenge always escalates bullying.

This is precisely what your bullies want you to think. Otherwise, they wouldn’t get such a thrill from it.

But revenge always escalates the bullying. Why? Because bullies are known to get brutal to get what they want.

Therefore, if you try to give them payback, it will only turn into a game of ping-pong. It will go back and forth, back and forth again. It’ll be an endless game of tit for tat.

And only those with low self-esteem try to get revenge.

Revenge on Bullies:

It does you no good to ruminate.

Continually replaying the bullying over and over in your head isn’t good at all. Because if you keep this up, you’ll never find happiness or peace of mind.

How can you move on when you’re constantly reliving the same trauma?

Here are 10 better alternatives to revenge:

1. Seek Therapy.

Never be too proud to seek therapy. It can help you process the negative emotions that poison your life. Therapy works. I’m living proof.

2. Write about it in a journal.

Believe it or not, writing about it helps you unload and get it out of your system. This is true, especially when bullies use smear campaigns to cut you off from support.

Also, by writing about it, you are documenting the bullying.  And you will have it for use if you go to court.

Moreover, you are also providing yourself with much-needed therapy. Writing is very therapeutic and cathartic.

And once you get it out, even if only on paper, you’ll be surprised at how much better you’ll feel.

3. Revenge on Bullies:

Spend time with those who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. It makes up for all the hurt bullies cause you by giving you equal or more positivity in your life.

Keep company with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them and laugh with them, because laughter is the best medicine!

4. Capture happy moments.

Again, bullies have given you enough negative and stressful moments. Why not balance that with just as many happy moments?

And the best part is that you have the power to create those moments!

5. Go on a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Or you can visit an out-of-state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

6. Meditate.

Having been bullied can flood your mind with fear and negativity. It helps to shut off your mind, even for five minutes every day.

Meditate on positive things. Focus on yourself and your personal goals. Meditate on God. It will help you relax and feel so much better.

7. Revenge on Bullies:

Exercise.

Exercise makes you healthier, promotes weight loss, and improves muscle tone. Also, it is one heck of a stress buster.

You can do High-Intensity Training with weights or take a brisk walk through the park. Both kinds of exercise increase endorphins and other chemicals that help you feel better.

8. Indulge in hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished but also take your mind off bullying. So, find something you enjoy most and focus on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

9. Focus on your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. They don’t deserve even to be an afterthought.

So, focus on your goals and where you want to go. And make it all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

10. Revenge on Bullies:

Use what they did to you to help other victims of bullying.

You can turn any abuse you suffer into something that benefits others. That’s a success, and it’s the best poke in the eye/slap in the face to your abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of pushback from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this.

If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they feel intimidated. If they didn’t feel threatened, they wouldn’t care.

Moreover, if your voice weren’t powerful enough to intimidate them, they wouldn’t push back so hard.

When your bullies attack you for speaking up, they only expose themselves.

Here’s the reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages. Your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. Therefore, they’re scared to death of being exposed.

Here’s another point I want to make. Your bullies are more than likely angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

They expected you to drown – to crash and burn. And you didn’t! That’s a huge disappointment to them and a blow to their fragile egos! And now, they want to come back and finish the job.

11. Revenge on Bullies:

Let them push back. 

But the good thing is that you should welcome their pushback. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate. Moreover, it should only inspire you to double down. Their abuse should make you even more determined to continue warning others that such people exist.

So, continue spreading awareness about bullying and reach out to targets with your message. In my situation, it only compels me to call out bullies’ tactics and mindsets.

It only solidifies my determination to expose them and show victims of today what to look for. In short, bullies and trolls only light a fire under me. And they should light one under you, too.

I want you to understand that bullies get so much pleasure from your misery. So, do all you can to add as much joy to your life as possible.

And once you do, take pleasure in knowing that, if your bullies could see that you’re happy without them, they’d be so furious!

12. Play mind games with yourself.

Sometimes you must play mind games with yourself. Does it sound strange? Possibly. But whatever works. Right?

No, you can’t pretend that the pain isn’t there. And you can’t bury it or stuff it down because if it’s there, it will leak out eventually. However, you do have to process it and do a lot of work on yourself before it goes away.

It will take a lot of work and time, but it will be worth it in the end. And you’re worth it! It’s all about self-care. And there’s nothing better than investing in yourself! I guarantee it!

13. Revenge on Bullies:

Don’t worry about what others think.

In this world, there will be those who will try to tear you down, especially if they know you’re striving to reach a goal. But you don’t mind because they don’t matter.

Don’t let them discourage you. No matter what they say, keep shooting for the stars. And don’t stop until you reach your dreams.

14. Weed out all the Negative Nancies and Debbie Downers.

Yes! Get rid of all the people who make you feel bad and suck the oxygen out of you. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting friends and loved ones- people who help you, not those who hinder you.

15. Never be afraid to be alone.

Trust me; you’d rather be by yourself than keep company with those who are negative and drain the lifeblood out of you. Bullies count on your fear of being alone because, with it, they have something to work with.

Also, negative people are exhausting, and you need all your energy stores for better things. If you have a partner who doesn’t treat you right, it’s time to re-evaluate the partnership. So, get clear on the kind of partner you want in your life and give this person their walking papers.

16. Revenge on Bullies:

Don’t quit.

Don’t give up when it seems like progress isn’t happening and bullies are treating you worse. Keep plugging at it!

Why? Because sometimes, things are their toughest just before you finally get your breakthrough.

17. Believe in yourself.

To succeed at anything, including overcoming bullies without the need for revenge, you must believe in yourself. If you don’t, no one else will, and you won’t accomplish anything.

Without faith in yourself and your abilities, you won’t have the morale to keep working toward your dreams. Then, you will likely focus on getting revenge on bullies.

If you need to rest, then do so. But whatever you do, don’t quit!

In conclusion

The trick is to take the attention off them and focus on you. It’s all about self. So, focus on self-improvement, self-care, and self-confidence. Also, focus on setting boundaries. That’s how you beat bullying.

Because when you’re too busy focusing on yourself, your bullies won’t be an afterthought. And you won’t need revenge. I guarantee it.

Living well is indeed the best revenge.

This post is all about revenge on bullies, why it’s a waste of time, and ways you can focus on yourself and live well.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Easy Strategies

2. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

How to Recover from Bullying: The 1 Thing You Must Do

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‘Want to know how to recover from bullying? Here’s the one thing you must do if you expect to recover from and overcome bullying.

how to recover from bullyingTo recover from bullying takes time and effort. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recover from bullying and reclaim your power and your life.

Once you learn this one crucial step, you will overcome bullying so much faster.

This post is all about how to recover from bullying so that you can move on to a better and more rewarding life.

How to Recover from Bullying

This may make you angry because it did me when someone gave me this advice years ago.

Moreover, you may think that I’m an idiot for what I’m about to say. However, when I finally did it, it worked for me. Therefore, here is the ONE thing you must do to recover.

You must forgive your bullies.

Ouch! I know this is not what you expected to read. However, know that forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to be buddy-buddy with them.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean foolishness

Healthy forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you was okay. What it means is that you refuse to let those who transgressed against you set up camp in your mind.

It means that you refuse to hold onto grudges that may block you from your rightful blessings. In this, you make room for growth and success.

Sadly, too many people think that forgiveness means that you must play nice. They then wonder why they keep getting hurt.

Realize that bullies only see forgiveness as a weakness and stupidity. They view forgiveness as a green light to continue their abuse. Why? Because they assume you’ll always be okay with it.

Forgiveness doesn’t obligate you to interact with bullies. It doesn’t mean you continue to be someone’s fool. You can forgive someone and still realize that they’re no good.

Toxic people are dead weight, and though you may forgive them, you realize that it’s still best to keep them at arm’s length.

How to Recover from Bullying:

You’re strong enough to forgive but wise enough to avoid toxic people.

You avoid them because you realize that these people will only take your forgiveness for foolishness. Because these people have a history of pushing your boundaries, you’re forgiving yet assertive.

Forgiveness is great because it gives you peace of mind. However, if you continue to allow these people to have a place in your life, they’ll continue to take advantage of you.

You don’t have to be mean to or mistreat them. However, no law says you have to trust them again. In fact, you shouldn’t trust them.

Some people you must forgive from afar.

The Importance of Forgiveness

Forgiving your bullies and anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I know, I know! I can practically hear the groans of dread and scoffs coming from a few already. To be honest, I once had the same attitude myself anytime someone advised me to forgive.

I wasn’t ready to because I hadn’t healed yet.

How to Recover from bullying:

You must heal before you can forgive

Sometimes, you need time to process the abuse you suffered and heal before you can forgive.  I understand because I’ve been there. And only you can know when you’re ready.

Again, forgiveness doesn’t mean that the transgression they committed against you is okay. And, it does not mean that you have to buddy up with the person who wronged you.

But when you’re ready to forgive, it will only benefit you, not your attacker.

 It took me several years to forgive my classmates. It was why I didn’t go to the ten or twenty-year class reunion. I had no desire to see their faces. I was just damn glad they were out of my life.

As long as I stayed away from my former schoolmates and they stayed away from me, I was happy. But when I’d see one of them on the street, I’d turn and walk away without giving them so much as a “hi” or “kiss my ass.”

To heal and forgive, you must allow yourself to feel the emotions.

When you’ve been a target of bullies, it’s only natural to feel anger, resentment, and disgust. To heal, we must allow ourselves to go through the pain and raw emotions.

Never bury the pain. Never keep it stuffed down inside because you’re afraid to make anyone angry or uncomfortable. Why? Because it will only fester if you do.

You will internalize everything you’ve been through, which is the worst thing you can do. It will come out sooner or later in a very destructive rage or physical illness, such as a heart attack.

How to Recover from Bullying:

It’s okay to feel sad. Just don’t dwell on it.

Take your time and feel your emotions as long as you need to. Go somewhere private and cry if you need to. Crying doesn’t mean that you’re weak. It means that you’re a human being.

Please do whatever you need to do to get it off your chest. The sooner you process those bad feelings, the sooner you can forgive and move on to a better life.

Just don’t stay in that dark place for long. Don’t set up your tent and live there!

Be open about your anger and talk to a friend, family member, or therapist. Tell them you’re pissed. Speak out about the abuse. But get it out! And realize there will be those who won’t like it.

Understand that, in this world, some people won’t mind wiping their feet all over you. However, they will be greatly offended when you become angry about it and speak out.

There will be those who expect you to be okay with something they know good and well they wouldn’t be OK with if it were done to them. But tell those people to get lost because they don’t matter. What matters is that you care for yourself and put yourself first.

It’s okay to speak up and defend yourself.

Why should you give a ticker’s damn about their feelings? They never gave a damn about yours. So, never let those ignoramuses make you feel guilty for speaking out and responding in kind!

Tell them what you think and let it out. But do it constructively. Put some bass in your voice. Be firm, but don’t yell. A certain amount of cursing is expected when you’re pushed too far.

But don’t drop any F-bombs. Raise your voice if you need to, but don’t scream and yell. Screaming and yelling will only incite toxic bullies to push your buttons to see you react. Then they will tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re “mentally unstable.”

I’m glad to say that I eventually healed and forgave them. Doing this felt like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. And when I forgave, I found a peace I hadn’t known in years.

I was able to move on through reading, researching, and writing about bullying. But first, I had to heal!

How to Recover from Bullying:

Forgiveness is the prerequisite for re-empowerment.

This bears repeating. It’s not about letting anyone off the hook. It’s about setting yourself free from toxic emotions that hold you back.

This message is for targets of bullying today and for survivors. Forgive them when you’re ready. I can tell you that for me, there’s truly no better feeling!

Let go of grudges.

Anytime you hold on to grudges, that individual controls you. They may have exerted control over the years they bullied you. But you don’t have to let them control the rest of your life.

Let me put it another way, holding onto anger doesn’t hurt the person it’s aimed at. It hurts you. Why? Because the people you have grudges against either don’t know about it, or they don’t care.

While you’re sitting around stewing over someone who did you wrong, that person couldn’t care less. They’re going on with their lives and not giving you a thought. So, why should you allow them to take up space in your mind?

Forgiveness is the only solution. It’s the only way that you will be able to take back control of your life.

If you want to be happy, successful, and live in peace, forgive those who wronged you. It’s the only way!

How to Recover from Bullying:

Never allow Yourself to Hate Your Bullies

Sadly, hate is too easy for bullying targets to get sucked into. When others have treated you so horrifically for long enough, you lose faith in humanity.

A person who is the object of bullying begins to believe that all people are self-serving and enjoy seeing others suffer. They soon become the very ones they’re suspicious of. I’ve been there.

Targets of bullying often think that there is justification for their hate. However, does this intense loathing serve any purpose or have benefits? No!

No matter how some creep may have wronged you, never give in to hate. Because it is poisonous! Not to the other person but to YOU!

Here’s Why:

  • It burns you up inside. It eats down into your very soul and prolongs feelings of hurt, depression, and downright misery.
  • Again, it doesn’t hurt your enemy. It hurts you because nine times out of ten, the person you hate either doesn’t know about it or doesn’t care.
  • You give up your blessings. Also, you forego any opportunities that would otherwise come your way. You invite negativity and evil into your world instead. Hatred causes you to forego your own happiness, and life is too short to be anything but happy.
  • Again, while you are sitting around stewing over some idiot who has wronged you in the past, they aren’t thinking about you.
  • It can destroy your happiness and prospects.
  • It skews your judgment and ability to think clearly.
  • It causes you to make horrible decisions- decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.
  • It numbs your conscience and dulls your reasoning capabilities.
  • You will condone things that you would otherwise deem immoral and evil.
  • You will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the one you hate. Yet you will condemn it if it’s against anyone else, even a total stranger.
  • It prevents you from recovering.
  • It is a sick and twisted obsession, and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

As a result, you will never recover from bullying.

It Serves No Purpose

While you are holding grudges and plotting ways to get back at them, that person is getting on with life. The person who hurt you doesn’t care about you.

They are not thinking about you. So why do you allow them to live rent-free in your head? They are a complete waste of brain activity!

Hate, insecurity, grudges, and excessive anger are all garbage in your life. And they need to be disposed of.

It’s time to take out the trash and take back the peace and happiness that you not only deserve but have a divine right to.

You deserve to be happy. And the only way you will find happiness is to let go of any grudges and hate and replace them with love and acceptance. It is what I had to do before I could recover from bullying and finally be happy again.

 

How to Recover from Bullying:

What hate does to the hater

It eats the hater’s soul out from the inside. Their minds are so consumed that all they can focus on is ways to harm the object of their hatred.

It causes them to give a pass to things they would otherwise deem the most depraved and heinous. That is, as long as they’re done to the person they despise.

Hate can turn the kindest humans into the vilest monsters. If it’s someone they loathe who is being abused, they will stand by and watch it happen with smiles on their faces.

If you’re bullied and the object of animosity, your bullies have a sick and twisted obsession with you. They can’t get you out of their minds, and they want to hurt you as much as they possibly can.

Yes! You read that correctly. Hate is an obsession. And it won’t destroy you alone. It will ruin your bullies, too.

You can choose to let your haters get to you or not.

You have the delicious power to re-frame your thinking and see their hatred for what it is. It comes from something inside them; it has nothing to do with you.

They are only poisoning themselves with it. So, sit back, eat your popcorn, and watch them eat their hearts out and self-destruct.

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer-abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate- up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies- deep into their eyes- down into their souls! And I genuinely believe that if there weren’t a law against murder, I wouldn’t be here today.

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt its powerful and painful sting and been paralyzed by it. As much as I don’t like to admit it, I even directed it toward others in those days.

But I’ve also learned that there’s dignity in being hated.

How to Recover from Bullying:

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

Indifference is better. Why? Because with indifference, you couldn’t care less. You couldn’t care less if the person is doing good or bad, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

On the other hand, with the former, you care because you want the despised person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to ensure nothing good happens to the other person.

And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to them. This is what animosity does. It causes you to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t return the animosity. When you refuse to despise those who wronged you, you recover from bullying so much faster.

Instead, be indifferent toward them; do that by stopping your thoughts about them. Stop caring what others think. Forgive them. Recover. Then move on and do your thing, baby!

How to Recover from bullying:

Summary:

  • To recover from bullying, you must forgive your bullies.
  • Forgiveness isn’t letting anyone off the hook; it’s setting yourself free.
  • Get rid of any hatred because it will only rot you out from the inside and hinder recovery.
  • Realize that there is dignity in being despised. So, don’t give your bullies the dignity they don’t deserve. On the same token, if you are the object of hatred, smile. Because your enemy is giving you dignity without realizing it.
  • Through forgiveness, you recover from bullying much faster.

This post showed you how to recover from bullying so that you can move on to peace and happiness.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

2. Recovery from Bullying: Journey to Healing

3. The Importance of Forgiveness

4. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection  

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy

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‘Want to know how to turn a bully into a buddy? I did it, and you can too. Here’s how.

how to turn a bully into a buddy

In this post, you will learn how to turn a bully into a buddy so that you can win by turning an enemy into a friend.

Once you learn all these cool details, you will turn bullies who are easily won over into the best of friends, and they will wonder why they ever hated you to begin with. But, more importantly, you will have rewarding friendships that last a lifetime.

This post is all about how to turn a bully into a buddy so you can win without throwing a punch or showing hostility.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy

Believe it or not, you can turn a bully into a buddy. However, it depends on the person you are dealing with. With the right attitude and the proper techniques, some bullies are easy to turn into friends.

However, many bullies are resistant to any kindness you show them. Therefore, you shouldn’t waste your time with them. Just let them go. It’s the best thing to do when someone is that determined to dislike you.

Here is a true story of personal experience.

Shelly (not her real name) was one of my most vicious bullies in school. When we passed one another in the hallway or at a ballgame, we would not hesitate to exchange nasty insults.

We would growl, “Bitch!”, “Whore!” “Skank!” every time we saw each other. Thinking up ways to degrade and slut-shame each other was always a top priority during these little meetings.

Twenty years later

Fast-forward twenty years, in late 2007, I went to a karaoke show at the Moose Lodge on the outskirts of town. I wanted to celebrate my courage to break off my recent 2 1/2 year-long abusive relationship.

Therefore, I decided to reward myself with a fun girls’ night out.

When I arrived at the Moose Lodge with a few friends in tow, the first word I heard was, “Oh my God! Not that bitch!” Honestly, I thought the verbal assault was directed at someone else until I looked up and saw her.

There Shelly stood, pool cue in one hand, the other hand resting on her boyfriend’s back. Her eyes and brows narrowed into little slits in her face and bore into me like a sharp object.

I had not seen her in two decades. And I wondered how she’d managed to drag around so much hate for so many years. After all, I had forgotten entirely about her amid juggling bills, a job, family, and other adult priorities.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

I didn’t realize that Shelly was fighting her own demons.

Sadly, I also had to do some self-reflection. I discovered that maybe I, too, had some unresolved hatred. Only it had been a case of out of sight, out of mind.

I’d soon learn that that night, Shelly was at the lowest point of her life. Life had not been kind to her either. And she was lashing out. I couldn’t hate her. I could only feel bad for her.

It seemed that, even twenty years, two marriages, and children hadn’t been enough to erase the teenage animosity she still held. We lived in a small Southern town. And in small Southern towns, few people forget the past.

Therefore, it’s easy for the reputation you had in your teens to follow you for the rest of your life. Sadly, this is still how it is in a small town.

The turning point

Having always loved music and had a strong voice, I got up and sang one of my favorite songs. Everyone cheered once I was finished. After I sat down, Shelly sat down beside me and was very impressed with my performance.

She told me she admired my voice and had always known I could sing.  However, she didn’t think I was that good. At first, I was flabbergasted. This was the first positive remark I’d heard from her.

Nevertheless, I was grateful. I smiled and gave her a gracious “Thank you. It’s good to see you again after all these years.”

We continued to talk, and she took some pictures out of her purse to show me. Those pictures were those of her talents – woodwork and paintings. They were the most beautiful works I’d ever seen.

This lady was very talented, and I wouldn’t deny it. I truly loved her work and could not stop looking at those pictures and complimenting her. She was truly an expert in woodworking and oil painting.

It was at that point that the dynamics of our relationship changed for the better. We exchanged phone numbers and soon began calling each other. Also, we texted cute little funnies back and forth.

Next, we began inviting each other to family outings and cookouts. Also, we started meeting each other in town for lunch or coffee.

How to Turn a Bully into a buddy:

One of my worst bullies became one of my best friends.

We soon became the greatest of friends, and I grew to love Shelly very much. We often talked about how we had missed out on what could have been a wonderful friendship years ago.

“Boy! We were clueless back then, weren’t we?” Shelly laughed. I laughed and readily agreed. She was right. We were kids with big mouths and bad attitudes.

The past couldn’t be changed. Therefore, we were content to go from there and make our friendship as fun as possible.

The moral of the story.

Nothing is impossible. It is always possible to turn a bully or enemy into a friend. All it takes is to break down that wall and show the other person genuine interest.

Everybody loves it when you are interested in them, their likes, and how things are going in their lives. Even some of the coldest and meanest of people soften toward anyone who tries to understand them.

How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

We all want the same things.

As humans, we all have a certain degree of selfishness. We all desire the same things- to be loved, appreciated, and respected.

Everybody has a void waiting to be filled. If we can fill the void by making the person feel loved and that they belong, we will make them feel wanted.

It is said that people may forget what you said, but they never forget how you made them feel. If you can make them feel like they’re the only person in the room, it’ll be the difference between gaining a friend and keeping an enemy.

Through our many talks, I found out that the girl I thought was so cruel was a girl who didn’t feel loved by anyone. She was just as sad as I was, but had put on a tough exterior. Also, she had suffered incidents of bullying herself, and it still hurt her immensely.

I didn’t know that I would eventually lose Shelly to a devastating disease.

Sadly, my beautiful friend passed away eight years ago from cancer. There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t miss her and think of her.

I’ll never forget that night at the karaoke club, the night Shelly and I became close friends. We remained as close as sisters until the day she died.

By showing her genuine interest, without fakery, I turned one of my most resistant bullies into one of my best friends. And I’m so thankful that we got the chance to be besties.

We discovered that the other person was really a great person who had been hiding a lot of past hurts. We were both broken people! Others had mistreated us both. And that commonality is what brought us closer.

I thoroughly enjoyed the time we spent together, and I miss her…I miss her so much. Fly high, Shelly! Until we meet again on those golden streets!

Here are the steps on how to turn a bully into a buddy.

1. Show Genuine interest in them.

You can’t just act like you’re interested in them; you must be interested in them. In other words, if you aren’t really interested in the person, don’t fake it. People can sense when you’re being fake. Your body language will tell them.

Therefore, show genuine interest in the person. This means showing interest in their hobbies and interests. Also, it means asking how things are going in their lives.

2. Make eye contact and lean in when they speak.

This shows that you want to hear what they have to say. And, trust me on this. They will appreciate it very much.

3. Ask how they’re doing.

When you ask how someone is doing, it shows that you care about their well-being and want them to do well. And people appreciate it.

4. How to Turn a Bully into a Buddy:

Remember that everyone wants and needs the same things.

Just as you want people to love and respect you, so does everyone else. If you keep this universal truth in the back of your mind, you will be a true friend. Therefore, you will attract true friends.

5. Have their back.

If they are going through a difficult time, be there for them. Be the source of support they need. And if someone mistreats them, stand up for them. Let them know that you will stand behind them when someone bullies them.

6. Find things you both have in common.

In other words, if you and the other person have been through the same things, share that. If you both like rock music, share that too. People are attracted to those who are most like them. They will befriend those they share the same experiences with.

To make a friend, you must first be a friend. Therefore, extend your friendship by making the person feel good when you are around.

This post is all about how to turn a bully into a Buddy so that you can defeat an enemy without ever showing hostility. More importantly, you can be the friend they need.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Make Friends when Everyone Hates You: 4 Tips and Tricks

2. Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

Let It Make You or Break You: Being a Victim of Bullying

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“Let it make you or break you.” You’ve heard the term. Here’s how to overcome bullying so that you can move on to peace, happiness, and success!

let it make you or break you

In this post, you will discover that, no matter how severely you are bullied, you still have the power to determine the outcome. Let it make you or break you.

Once you learn all about this vital truth, you will be compelled to let it make you better instead of bitter.

This post is all about the choice you must make, whether to let it make you or break you, so that you can make the right decision.

Let It Make You or Break You

Understand that simply caring about anyone or anything is going to be painful. It’s why so many who were once kind and caring people are now cold, hard, angry, and bitter.

These people were relentlessly bullied, and they allowed it to make them cold and mean. They are often those who adopt the “I’m going to get you before you get me” attitude.

Bullying has a way of taking it all out of you. It doesn’t only take away your self-esteem, confidence, energy, and happiness. It also strips away your love and kindness, your health —even your will to live.

But only if you let it!

Bullying will either make or break you. It will either wise you up or dum you down. And it will make you better or bitter. Either way, these results are up to you.

Bullying changes a person, no doubt about it. But don’t let it make you bitter. Let it make you better!

You still have the power to determine your outcomes.

Being the object of bullies is a hell that only a few people can comprehend. If you aren’t careful, it can very easily turn you from a kind and caring human being to one of two things:

  • an angry, bitter. distrusting and mean-spirited person
  • a sad, sullen, and withdrawn individual.

Bullying can either make or break you. Sadly, so many people end up broken. But I want you to know that it doesn’t have to be this way. You still have a choice of what you do with it.

If you continue practicing self-care, chances are the bullying you experience won’t have as much impact. So don’t—I repeat—DON’T give up! EVER!

I say this because I’m living proof. I’m a very happy, healthy, and successful adult. But if you knew me during high school, you never would’ve thought that I would ever make it as far as I have.

The bullying didn’t break me. It made me! I consciously chose not to let it break me. And you, too, have that choice. Being bullied is never good. But it not only made me a stronger, more resilient, and compassionate woman.

Let it Make You or Break You:

Being bullied can be a powerful motivator.

It also motivated me.

It gave me the drive to pursue my goals and dreams. Also, it gave me a purpose. And that purpose is to spread awareness of the bullying epidemic, which seems to be sweeping the globe.

It gave me the drive to become a published author and be a voice for those who are too afraid to speak out. It can do the same for you, too!

But understand this: If you have a dream, there will be people along the way who will do their best to discourage you. Why? Because if you flourish, it will compel them to take a long look at their own mediocrity.

It’ll be as if you’re holding a mirror up to them and showing them a reflection of who they really are. You will be a walking reminder of their own personal failures.

Therefore, no matter how others may treat you, you must continue to follow your dreams. You must do what makes you happy. Never shrink yourself down to make someone else feel better about themselves.

Tune out the voices of toxic people.

You must mute the voices of these toxic people and get them out of your life, if possible. And do it as quickly as you can. Then continue pursuing and achieving your goals, because life is too short not to.

You only get one shot at life. Make it count! Do what fulfills you and live life to the fullest! You can do it!

Let it Make You or Break You:

Bullies May Turn Others Against You, but Never Allow Them to Turn You Against You!

No matter what other people may think of you, you are the only one who knows who you truly are. Bullies love spinning smear campaigns and turning others against you.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can make their lies and accusations seem valid. However, no matter how convincing the bullies are or how many believe them, it doesn’t make the talk true. Remember that reputation doesn’t equal character!

Only you can judge who you really are, nobody else can do that. They may try. They may think they know you. But do they really?

I know it’s difficult not to question yourself when it seems that everyone hates you. Anyone who finds themselves in this situation would ask themselves, “What did I do?” or “What did I say?”

It’s only a natural human reaction to being ostracized. In other words, it’s difficult not to blame yourself.

But please, for your own self-esteem, do not blame yourself. Remember that the problem lies with the bullies, not with you. Their behavior reflects on them, not you.

Therefore, you are not responsible for their ugly behavior. Believe it!

You must love yourself even if others don’t.

Continue to love yourself. Continue to be true to your own heart! Keep doing the things that give you pleasure. Surround yourself with those who love you and want the best for you.

Why? Because when everyone bullies you, you must ‘baby’ your self-esteem! Bullies may turn everyone else against you! Just don’t allow them to turn you against yourself.

You have no reason to hate yourself. So, love yourself even when it seems that others hate you. I promise you that your self-esteem will thank you for it! You will thank yourself for it!

Let it Make You or Break You:

Avoid Self-Pity

It all comes down to you. You are responsible for your successes and your happiness. Happiness is a choice, not something that magically happens to only certain people.

It’s okay to cry when someone hurts you. It’s OK to be hurt, angry, and sad. In fact, you need to allow yourself to feel.

So, allow yourself to be angry. Permit yourself to cry it out. Just don’t unpack your things and live in that dark place.

Understand that your bullies are cowards and fighting demons of their own. Only they are doing it the wrong way. And their mistreatment of you only proves it.

So, never let your tormentors cause you to feel sorry for yourself because self-pity is so unattractive and socially repelling! The only thing it does is bring more misery and repel people.

Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, try positive self-talk. Begin praising yourself for all your good qualities. And know in your heart the good you bring to this world.

Also, realize what a blessing you are to the people who love you. Because the more you love yourself and the less self-pity you live in, the easier it will be to find solutions.

Let it Make You or Break You:

You Are Responsible for your own life.

Let’s face it. Life isn’t fair.

It’s the truth. It never has been and never will be. Whether you’ve been mistreated and cheated, no one owes you anything. But you owe it to yourself. And you have every right to pursue and achieve happiness and make a good life for yourself.

No one owes you anything. You owe it to yourself.

God deals each of us a hand of cards. Some people get a crappy hand and some, a lucky hand. However, the trick is to play the hand you’re dealt wisely.

It’s the luck of the draw. Nevertheless, you have the choice of whether to move up, stay where you are, or descend. In other words, if you don’t like where you are, you can move upward.

It may take time and a ton of hard work. But if you want it bad enough, you will do what you must do to achieve it.

empower yourself by ditching the word “fair”

People need to man up (or woman up). You must accept that the world isn’t all unicorns, rainbows, fairies, and pixie dust.

In short, the world isn’t fair. Sadly, I see many victims of bullying saying, “It’s not fair!” And, though I hate to admit it, I did the same once upon a time.

But since when has life ever been fair?

Banish the word “fair” from your vocabulary and start working toward your goals. I guarantee that you’ll be much happier.

Let it Make You or Break You:

Try to Avoid Complaining.

When you’re being bullied, it’s easy to complain about it. However, when you whine and complain, you focus only on the problem, not on possible solutions. This is why others don’t like, nor do they respect, a complainer.

If you need to get something off your chest, that’s okay. However, there is a time and place for it. However, complaining won’t change things.

Complaining always comes from powerlessness! It comes from weakness. It stems from feelings of powerlessness and a victim mentality. Moreover, it comes from laziness and a lack of personal responsibility.

Sure. Everyone has times when they must blow off a little steam. However, when you do it every time something doesn’t go your way, it becomes a problem.

So, which would you rather do? Let it make you or let it break you? If you let bullying break you, they win. But if you let it make you, then you become the winner.

And how do you empower yourself? Learn to love yourself. Practice confidence. Become your own hero!

This post was all about the decision to let it make you or break you so that you will be encouraged to take the steps you need to overcome bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders 

2. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important

3. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You  

4. Confidence-Building Techniques: 15 Powerful Tips You Can Use

leaving town to escape bullying reddit

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying: 7 Reasons it’s a Good Idea

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‘Want to know why leaving town to escape bullying is sometimes the best idea? Here, you’ll find out the exact reasons, in detail, why moving to a new area could be the best decision you’ll ever make.

leaving town to escape bullying

“A prophet is honored everywhere except in his own hometown and among his relatives and his own family.” – Mark 6:4

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you may need to consider leaving town to escape bullying.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you will be compelled to make the changes you need to have a better life.

This post is all about leaving town to escape bullying and why it could be the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying

You want to live bully-free. You long for others to give you space and the chance to relax, be yourself, and live a rewarding and meaningful life.

Moreover, you want opportunities to flow into your life and to live by your own standards. If people bully you, you probably desire to reinvent yourself and attract love and respect.

Unfortunately, to do this, you will have to leave the area if everyone bullies you. Here’s why this is a good idea.

1. People will always know you as the label they stuck you with.

If you don’t move, everyone will never forget you as that “loser,” or that “whore.” They will only remember you as that “lowlife,” that “nut-ball,” or whatever label they stuck you with. Therefore, no one will give you a chance, no matter what you do.

Moreover, Everyone will know you as the kid whom everyone bullied and got away with it. They’ll always have you in their mind as “Everybody’s bitch.”

As a result, they will treat you as such. And they will do it long after graduation, especially if you live in a small town or rural area.

So, why not consider leaving if you can afford it?

2. Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In a New Town, People Will Likely Welcome You.

In a new geological area, you will be the new kid in town. You will be that new kid who is mysterious, intriguing, and beguiling!

You will be the person everyone is anxious to meet because they feel that you’re full of hope and promise. When you leave for a new area, you can reinvent and redefine yourself.

You can rewrite your own story and give a stellar first impression, then let it speak for itself. As a result, you can be successful at anything. And you can attract endless opportunities for love, friendship, and advancement.

3. If you stay, no one will give you a chance to rise above.

But back in the old town, you’re the kid who was desperate for attention. In other words, others will view every success you enjoy as another ploy to show off and impress others.

Also, there’s a high likelihood that you will provoke their jealousy. And they will treat you even worse as an adult.

In contrast, any failure will be seen by others as an “I told you so” moment. It will confirm to them that you really are a loser.

However, in a new area, your value comes from what you put out. You are judged by the fruit you bear, not who you are.

Whereas, in the old town, you are judged by your reputation, which was ruined in school. Just because of who they think you are, they will adjust their attitudes to reflect hostility.

Therefore, leaving town saves you from all of that.

4. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

In the old town, people will have already made up their minds.

In a locale where you were bullied, nobody will be interested in how much you’ve grown as a person. They won’t want to hear about any successes you’ve enjoyed or accomplishments you’ve made. Why?

Because it would only force them to consider that maybe you’re not such a bad person after all. As a result, it might quiet their own judgment of you.

Think about it. No one wants to be wrong about anything. Therefore, they’ll only dig their heels in and double down on their judgments and attitudes.

Again, leaving town and going where no one knows you gives you a chance to re-establish yourself.

5. Without leaving town, you’ll Never Discover Your True Potential.

It’s next to impossible to discover your true potential when others define you by who they think you are. Their perceptions of you will always be negative, so they will do everything they can to keep you in your place.

It’s a box you will never be able to get out of, no matter what. However, when you leave and move to a new environment, you will more likely advance. You’re likely to get the breakthrough you’ve waited for so long.

6. Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Opportunities will open up for you.

You could become an expert at something later in life. And others would respect you for it anywhere else. However, if you took that expertise to the old town, only a scant few would acknowledge it.

But if you leave and move to a new locale and show what you know, then you’ll likely have notoriety.

But more importantly, you should consider leaving so you can finally have peace. Do it because your happiness and your sanity depend on it.

Why would you stay in a place where people constantly watch you every move? Moreover, why would you stay where people unfairly judge and mistreat you?

Why stay where you’ll only suffer more bullying in the future? Also, why live where people will more than likely bully you out of every job you find?

Moreover, why risk bullies harassing you at the supermarket? Why continue to live under the threat of hoodlums jumping you in the parking lot outside the local Dairy Queen?

7. You can always return for a visit if you have family in the old town, but you don’t have to live there.

You can always return a few years later after you’ve built your confidence and social and creative portfolios. However, don’t be surprised if you notice all the things that suck about the old town.

And, one of the things that will suck the most is the reception you get from the people there. Therefore, if you have family there, stop in for a visit. However, do it on a low key.

Another thing that will most likely disappoint you is that you will have experienced more life changes than anyone who stayed. Therefore, they would only bore the crap out of you.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

It’s best to get out of Dodge

Leaving town isn’t running, and it isn’t being chicken. It’s finding a place where you can flourish and have a better life. There’s nothing wrong with that. And there’s no shame or blame in that.

Go to a brand-new place and rediscover yourself. You want to get beyond the confines of your reputation, and the only way to do that is to pack your bags and leave.

When you escape bullying, you escape everything that comes with it. You escape mental and physical abuse, and you also escape unfair judgment. And the best part is that you escape stagnation.

Leaving town is the only way you’ll become what you want to be and move up in the world! Once you move to a new area and get re-established, you’ll have a level of respect, influence, safety, and best of all, freedom that you never would’ve achieved had you stayed in your home area!

You either leave or stay and embrace the Suck.

I realize that some cannot leave, especially children or adults who can’t afford it. Life circumstances can sometimes trap victims of bullying in a school or town that hates them.

It’s easier to get out of a toxic environment when you’re an adult who others bully at work. You can transfer, and if you can’t transfer, you can always quit.

However, when you’re a minor, it’s almost impossible. What if your family cannot afford to move to a new school district? Also, what if your parents refuse to move or to transfer you? What if your parents can’t afford to homeschool you?

There’s nothing worse than being stuck in a toxic environment and in a horrible situation. When everyone in the school or area is bullying you and there’s no way of escaping it, it’s the feeling of entrapment!

Just imagine finding yourself in this situation, and there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it! You can’t get away from it! You’re just stuck there!

So, what do you do? You embrace the suck.

Embracing the suck means that you grin and bear it. You accept the god-awful, crappy mess that plagues your life because there’s no other choice.

Leaving town to Escape Bullying:

Sadly, some people have no choice but to stay.

In other words, you’re just plain screwed, and there’s no way out of it. You decide to live with it and make peace with the possibility that things may not get any better. And yes, it sucks!

Sadly, uncontrollable circumstances keep targeted kids in schools with a toxic culture of bullying. Finances keep adults stuck in neighborhoods full of people who hate them.

When a child is stuck in a school where bullying is rife, their classmates attack them daily. They attack them psychologically and physically.

Teachers and principals view these children unfavorably because bullies have convinced them that they are the instigators. Therefore, school staff are constantly watching them, waiting for any reason to drag them into the principal’s office.

These kids suffer from plummeting grades and poor school performance. Why? Because circumstances force them to stay in a toxic school.

As a result, they live in survival mode. And, unfortunately, preparing for a hostile learning environment takes priority over studying and learning.

Therefore, school staff see them as lazy and hopeless. And they refuse to give them the extra help they need.

Gee! That’s an awful lot of suck!

And how much suck can one child deal with?

Understand that if you’re a child dealing with these types of circumstances, you don’t have to “embrace the suck.” There’s always School Choice.

Nowadays, families can apply for vouchers to transfer their child to a new school. These vouchers have saved countless targets from years of bullying.

Also, there are other things you can do if, by chance, School Choice isn’t an option where you live:

  • document the bullying and have your parent or legal guardian help you with your documentation.
  • Also, depending on the jurisdiction you live in, hide a body cam or digital device somewhere on your person.
  • Thirdly, practice self-care.

And keep the faith. School Choice may not be available in your area now, but it doesn’t mean it won’t be later. You are not entirely powerless. Do the above three things because they are within your control.

When you document and record the bullying and practice self-care, you’ll not only change the dynamic. You’ll also feel so much better about yourself because you will have at least some control.

Leaving Town to Escape Bullying:

In conclusion

If you can’t leave, my heart goes out to you. However, if you can, you must consider doing so because leaving for greener pastures can change your life. Leaving town to escape bullying usually works out for the best. It gives you new hope.

It allows you to get re-established and start your life anew. You will meet new people who will welcome you because you’ll have no history with them.

Leaving town gives you a fresh start with a clean slate. And you won’t regret it. I promise you!

This post was all about leaving town to escape bullying to let you know that there is always something you can do to better your life and get away from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids! 

2. It Only Gets Better: There is Life After Bullying 

3. There’s Always Hope: 11 Things to Remember When People Bully You 

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill: 7 Reasons They Do It

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‘Want to know why bullies label you mentally ill? Here are all the reasons they do it and how you can fight back.

why bullies label you mentally ill

When people label you “unhinged,” no one has to take you seriously ever again. Others will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

In this post, you will learn why bullies label you mentally ill, so that you discover where the label comes from.

Once you realize these crucial facts, you will be able to counter the label more confidently and effectively, as you will understand its intentions.

This post will tell you why bullies label you mentally ill to alleviate any confusion you may have and to help you stand firm against the label.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they are deemed a criminal. Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists, more seriously. What a crying shame!

Therefore, when bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that it can make the labelled person doubt their own sanity. In other words, it’s not so much that they think you’re mentally imbalanced; it’s that they want you to believe it.

Why? Because if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

Furthermore, the cr4zy card is the easiest for bullies to play. Although they can never prove you’re a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

This Label is worse than the label, “criminal.”

This is why the mental health label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting.

“Cray-cray” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you. Think about it. They can’t easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around.

Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more you know about the ins and outs and the reasons behind its use, the better you can defend against it.

The best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while, but eventually the label does wear out. And when that happens, its effect will be lost.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

3 Reasons Bullies Stick The “Cray” Label on you

Do you ever wonder why bullies attach labels, such as “unstable” or “mentally disturbed,” to you when you stand up to their abuse? Here are the reasons:

1. The unstable label is used by bullies as a last option

When there is nothing else they can pin on you, this is their last-ditch effort to stigmatize you. And, sadly, it works like a charm.

2. A mental imbalance is the most difficult to disprove.

Let’s say you’re a target of bullying and have the guts to stand up to the abuse.  The bully may tell everyone that you’re nuts, and everyone else may believe it, too.

There is no way the bully can prove that you are, in fact, unhinged. However, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t. Therefore, the burden of proof lies with you. And proving that you aren’t mentally ill is the most difficult.

3. They’re trying to make you doubt your own sanity.

Bullies aren’t clueless. In fact, they probably know more about human nature than the average person. They’ve learned that if someone is told something a million times, they’re more likely to believe it, eventually.

And when you believe something about yourself, you will likely live up to it. Therefore, don’t you doubt your sanity for a second!

If you know that you are not mentally ill, say it! Tell them that you know what they are trying to do and that you don’t buy it!

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

People tend to believe the worst in others.

This is why the “cray-cray” label is just too easy to stick on anyone. People have a strong tendency to see the worst in others. And, again, the burden of proof lies with you.

It is damn hard to prove that you aren’t mentally ill when bullies attack you from every direction and wear you down. Why? Bullying is devastating to the victim’s mental health.

Therefore, when a person is bullied, they are at their worst.

The natural response is to react when attacked.

The natural human response is to react and defend oneself when attacked. Bystanders can very easily mistake your reaction for mental illness.

It happens when others walk in on you as you’re telling your bully where to stick it. Many times, they only catch the tail end of the confrontation.

Then they draw the wrong conclusions. Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. Often, this is how they set it up.

Bullies have ways of making you look like you’ve completely “lost it” to any witnesses who happen to walk by.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds when they’re wrong! If the bully can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you report the harassment?

And who’ll take you seriously the next time you let the bully have it? They’ll only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There she goes again! She’s having another mental episode! That girl has gone completely batshit!”

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

The trick is to stand up to them calmly.

Please, for your own sake, don’t fall for it! Stand up to them! Look them in the eye, and you tell them, “You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

And you do it calmly.

Then walk away, leaving the bully standing there, slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them.

They’re not five years old, they already know. And you don’t owe them any more than what’s necessary. Therefore, say as little as possible.

Tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”

You say, “You know what you did! Now get bent!”

The idea is not to beat around the bush. Get to the point and say it like you mean it. Be firm but don’t yell (yelling makes you look like a basket case).

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude toward you. But I promise! You’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

2 More Reasons Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill and Why It Works

Unfortunately, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Sadly, a label like this has loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove- especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

If people bully you, there’s a good chance you will be an emotional wreck. Chronic abuse does that to victims. So, there’s another reason the mental label is a clever label to pin to them.

The label is only used to discredit you.

When bullies label you as bonkers, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are. Allow me to explain further.

Bullies are big cowards. If they really and truly thought you were cuckoo, they wouldn’t mess with you at all. In fact, they wouldn’t come near you. Instead, they would do everything they could to stay out of your way and avoid poking the bear.

They’d go out of their way to be on their best behavior around you. Why? Because they know that if a person is, in fact, cray-cray, that person could rip their heads off and poop down their necks.

That person could go postal and wipe them all out, then go home and eat a sandwich. If a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and utterly batshit nuts, their first instinct is to walk lightly around them. And they will do their due diligence to keep from setting that person off!

So, if your bullies don’t really think you’re unstable, why then do they label you as such?

4. Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

To discredit you.

Your bullies aren’t clueless. They figure that eventually, you’re likely to get fed up with their crap. You will either report them or stand up to them.

And if everyone thinks you’re cray-cray, who’s going to take you seriously when you report the bullying?

5. To make you afraid to speak out or stand up to them.

They do it just in case you begin standing your ground or speaking out about the abuse. In other words, bullies employ this tactic to keep you quiet. Why?

Because if they can silence you, they can keep their reputations spotless. Moreover, if you know that people think you’re unstable, chances are that you’ll be too afraid to open your mouth about it.

And why not? Because you’re “mentally unstable,” people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that you probably have a severe case of paranoia.

6. To discourage you from defending yourself.

You’ll also be too afraid to fight back. If you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim.

Then, others will only assume that you went postal and hurt those poor, innocent bullies. Maybe they’ll think that you just threw a temper tantrum and began shouting and cursing people out for no reason. All because you’re “unhinged.”

 Again, it’s true that your bullies can never prove you’re mentally imbalanced. However, there’s also no way that you can confirm that you aren’t. And it’s why this label is just too easy to pen on someone and make stick. In fact, it shouldn’t be this easy and be so successful. But it is.

Do you see how this works?

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

Your bullies don’t think you’re nuts, they think you’re weak.

They only push that label because weakness or helplessness has a certain allure. And your helplessness may compel others to come to your aid.

Helplessness sparks a natural tendency to take care of the helpless. However, people are less likely to help someone they deem mentally ill.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they label you mentally unhinged to strip you of that allure and appeal.

With the mentally ill label, bullies are better able to avoid being held accountable. And if they can successfully dodge responsibility, they get to continue hurting you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, you must understand that there’s a method behind the label of mental instability. If you’re aware of the motives behind it, you’ll be able to catch it and counter them with it.

7. To control how others view you.

It’s the oldest and most used tactic in the book! My classmates were no different. Bullies will always come back at you with the “mentally ill” label to control how others see you. And they’ll do it when they can no longer control you.

You see? When bullies no longer have power over you, they become anxious. They see you as a threat. So, they become desperate and afraid.

Refusing to be manipulated sends several messages to your bullies. And these messages threaten their sense of superiority, positions, and power.

Why Bullies Label You Mentally Ill:

What are these messages?

  • You see through their smokescreens.
  • You’re not afraid to tell them to go kick rocks.
  • You’re the opposite of what they think of you – strong and intelligent, not weak and foolish.
  • You put them in their place.
  • They can’t make you do anything you don’t want to do.
  • You don’t give a crap about what they say or think anymore.
  • You couldn’t care less about their approval.
  • They don’t matter to you anymore.
  • You no longer accept their definitions of you.

Understand that bullies have an over-inflated sense of their own importance. Thus, they feel entitled to mistreat you. They despise being told no, and they loathe anyone who will not be controlled. So, they use the mental health label to stigmatize you.

Then they weaponize it to punish you.

Therefore, if they can’t manipulate you, they’ll manipulate your relationships and the way others perceive you.

In closing

Attaching the mental illness label on someone is the worst form of gaslighting there is.

Once you understand the reasons and motives behind the mental illness label, everything makes perfect sense. As a result, you will feel a lot more confident in defending yourself. You will no longer be afraid to speak out. And you will no longer care what others think.

Knowledge is power, and it can bring peace of mind.

This post was all about why bullies label you mentally ill so that you realize the motives behind it and will be encouraged to defend yourself anyway.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Mental Health Stigma: 5 Reasons Bullies Use It

2. Bullying Based on Mental Health: 9 Reasons Bullies Target Those with Mental Illness 

3. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill 

4. Bullying Those with Mental Illness: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know 

types of people to avoid in life

Types of People to Avoid to Protect Yourself from Bullying

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Want to know the types of people to avoid to protect yourself from bullying and abuse? Here are all the people you need to be aware of.

types of people to avoid

One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the types of people to avoid to keep yourself safe.

Once you learn all about these types of people, you will be able to spot them a mile away and avoid them like the plague.

This post is all about the types of people to avoid so that you can become more bully-proof and resistant to all kinds of human predators.

Types of People to Avoid

Trusting your feelings is also important. Why? Because some people are experts at hiding their true intentions. It’s a good thing we all have a sixth sense and can sense the vibes and energy others put out. This can also work in our favor.

Here are the types of rotten eggs to be aware of and avoid at all costs:

1. The gossip

The gossip is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people, and you’ll notice she does it all the time.

Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know. They always seem to know everything about everyone- everything, short of their bathroom habits.

So, know this! If they talk about others, they will talk about you, too. Ditch these people…fast!

Gossipers, Busybodies, and Buttinskies

Maybe it’s the nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life.  Or it’s the workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do.

Maybe you have a nosy neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window at you and the other neighbors. Whoever they are, these types can be a real hemorrhoid to those of us who only want to be left alone.

Types of People to Avoid:

The end goal is power and control!

Understand that these people can be bullies too. Their gossip, butting in, and having a constant nose stuck in your life can be a form of attempted control.

Bullies will often ask you personal questions to embarrass or humiliate you. And they will be the kinds of questions that make you cringe! Naturally, it may upset you and you might storm off.

However, what you should do is laugh, make fun of and humiliate them. And enjoy every minute of it.

Realize that even in the adult world, you’re going to have people with more nerve than a bad tooth. There will be those who will pry into your business and openly ask you personal, even embarrassing questions.

You might as well prepare for it now because they’re everywhere!

2. The big–nose

This person is virulently nosy and should be considered a twin sister to the gossip. Why? Because most gossips tend to have their faces in everyone’s business.

You will often find them asking personal questions and eavesdropping on conversations. Also, you may see them eyeing people intensely and butting in. They insert their cheap two cents where it doesn’t belong.

While we’re on the subject of nosy people, let’s delve a little deeper.

Types of People to Avoid:

The Difference Between Curiosity and Nosiness

A fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog a few years back. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

So, what is the difference between curiosity and nosiness? Simple. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries, whereas nosiness does.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosey is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out.”

“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

What do Nosey People and Curious PEOPLE do differently?

A curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. They are more interested in educational information. They want to know more about how things work than they do about other people.

On the other hand, a nosey person will pry into your personal and private business, trying to get some dirt on you. Then, they will spread it to everyone later.

Moreover, a nosey person will snoop through your mail, your computer- heck! If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t go there, too.

Understand that bullies are such people, and they will be the nosiest. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

Nosiness is invasive. If a nosy person asks you a personal question and you refuse to answer, they will accuse you of “having something to hide.”

Types of People to Avoid:

NOSEY people will claim you have something to hide if you don’t give them answers.

This is how bullies trick you. They will use the “having something to hide” line to coerce you into giving up the details.

Moreover, you might feel compelled to give it up even if they know it’s better to keep it private! When bullies make this accusation, you may cave in and go against your better judgment.

You may answer the bullies’ questions to prove that you don’t have anything to hide. And that’s when you get yourself into trouble.

Therefore, if you ever find yourself in this predicament, know this. Your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Additionally, bullies will accuse you of being nosy when you’re trying to learn something new. This happened to me, and, being a young teenager, I fell for the lie, and it affected my learning.

Nosiness can run in families.

Many of these people had parents who were the same way. They had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

I know this because a neighbor did the same to me many years ago. Therefore, nosiness is a generational thing with many. About 90% of my classmates also came from nosy, overbearing families. So did many coworkers I’ve worked with down through the years.

And it’s these kinds of people you should blow off and wave away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

Don’t get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them because it’s those types who really need to get a life and often don’t have one.

Types of People to Avoid:

Responding to a Nosy Person

It’s essential to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter busybodies with confidence.

For added clarity, here are the definitions of curiosity and nosiness.

Curiosity- a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broadens one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow. Curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries or to cause harm.

Nosiness- prying into other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and cause them harm.

Learn these differences by heart, and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the scenarios mentioned above.

3. Types of People to Avoid:

The two-face

The two-faced person is an even closer sister of the gossip. These people pretend to be your friend but stab you in the back. And, the sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know.

Again, if they talk about somebody else, they’ll talk about you, too. Just give them time. Therefore, be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Don’t share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

And two more words of advice. Steer clear!

4. The drama queen/king

This rotten egg is a chronic complainer who always seems to have a problem with every solution. They are never happy and are impossible to please.

Moreover, this person also seems to have unending misfortune – bad break after bad break, back-to-back. Sure, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck.

That’s perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is unknowingly bringing much of it on themselves somehow.

Drama queens and kings complain about everything and everybody. And they will complain about you, too, eventually. Bad moods have ways of spreading fast.

So, if the person consistently dogs your mood, it’s best not to have anything to do with them. No one wants to be around a sad-sack nosebleed who whines constantly. Why? Because being around them can quickly become a drag.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of people. They’re the type who think everyone is out to get them or that everyone has ulterior motives.

And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll assume you’re out to get them, too. And they will try to get you before you get them. Again, steer clear!

5. Types of People to Avoid:

The passive-aggressive person

This person is sneaky, and you should avoid them as well. Why? Because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unleash a rash of covert attacks. And they will be attacks you won’t even see coming until it’s too late.

Also, if they have an agenda and you happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

6. Anyone who puts out bad vibes.

When you’re around some people, you can sense that something is off about them. Or you pick up on the bad vibes and energies they put out that don’t feel good. Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie.

When it comes to bullying, many people find out the hard way. An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure. Save yourself years of trial and error and the heartache that goes with it. Get rid of these people…pronto!

Avoiding these six types of people will save you many headaches in the future. The trick is to observe the people around you. Then you will figure out who the troublemakers are and who to avoid.

This post was all about the types of people to avoid so that you can save yourself trouble down the road.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

2. Nosy Bullies: 11 Reasons Bullies Pry into Your Private Business

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. Types of Bullying: 19 Types and Categories You Need to Know

calling the bluff meaning

Calling the Bluff: Ways Bullies React When You Stand Up to Them

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‘Want to know why calling the bluff is so effective in disarming bullies? Here’s why it works and how they react when you call their bluff.

calling the bluffSo, what does it mean to call someone’s bluff? According to Merriam-Webster, it means to challenge someone’s threat or statement because you don’t believe it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about calling the bluff, why it works, and how bullies react when you call their bluff.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be more emboldened to challenge bullies when they come around with threats and taunts.

This post is all about calling the bluff and everything that comes with it.

Calling the Bluff

As we all know, bullies are convincing liars. But what happens when they finally get called out on their lies and evil deeds? Let’s use scenarios to find out.

For example, you’re a target of bullying. You find out that the one friend you thought you could trust has been spreading your deepest secrets.

Also, they’ve been spreading lies behind your back while only pretending to be your best buddy. This can apply to both school and workplace environments.

When you confront her, here are her possible reactions.

1. She will deny it or try to avoid the subject.

How will you know she’s dishonest? She will deny it. Moreover, she may change the subject by discussing a topic irrelevant to the issue while appearing to be busy with a task. Girls are known for this.

2. She will become irate and go on a tirade.

She may yell and curse at you. Also, she may turn it back on you and accuse you of suffering from paranoia, being unhinged,  or being a crybaby.

But understand that she only looks and sounds desperate when she does this. Know that this is just another dead giveaway. Why? Because most bullies get highly defensive when they’re afraid they’re busted.

Understand that most bullies will get loud. They scream, yell, and pound their fists. They will curse and swear when they fear exposure.

However, don’t let this scare you because the dramatics and theatrics they display only mean that the bullies are desperate! And through their desperation, they only expose their guilt.

3. Calling the Bluff:

They will lay guilt trips on you.

For instance, the guilty person might say,

  • “Well, if you were my friend, you wouldn’t believe…”
  • “If you were a true friend to me, you wouldn’t even question my loyalty.”

Don’t buy that garbage. The person is just trying to make you feel guilty or trying to intimidate you into silence.

If your so-called friend was the only person you told any secrets to, it’s a safe bet they’re the one who spoke it without your permission. And if enough people tell you that she is saying things behind your back, especially people you’ve never met or had any dealings with, or people who aren’t a threat to you, she’s guilty!

Example 2:

You have a bully on your back, and you’ve finally had enough. You call them out on their bad behavior and begin speaking out about the abuse they dish out.

4. They will escalate the harassment to either punish you or intimidate you.

Understand that the bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, they’re scared of facing accountability and losing face. Therefore, they will stop at nothing to silence you.

‘You see? Bullies have their image to protect. And, when something or someone threatens to shatter that image, they become unhinged.

5. Calling the Bluff:

He will justify himself with full conviction.

  • “If you didn’t always make trouble, I wouldn’t have had to hurt you!”
  • “If you weren’t so ignorant, I wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”
  • “You made me do it because you always do this when you should do that!”
  • “If you would just do this, I wouldn’t have to do that!”
  • “You won’t shut up, so you deserve it!”

Isn’t it funny how they always seem to put it off on you? They love to blame you for their atrocious behavior, don’t they?

Also, they may make “you made me” statements.

  • “You made me hurt you.”
  • “You made me mad, so yeah, I hit you in the mouth.”
  • “You make people want to punch you.”

The other person may even say that you “had it coming” or “deserved it.” No, you didn’t! Again, don’t believe a word of it!

They chose to behave the way that they did. You never made that decision for them. Moreover, it’s impossible to control another person’s actions. Only they have that kind of power.

Therefore, don’t allow them to make you feel guilty. Continue to report the harassment. And keep speaking out about it.

You must protect yourself by speaking just as loudly and with just as much conviction as the bully. Make plenty of noise because the wheel that squeaks loudest gets the grease!

6. Calling the Bluff:

They will slander you to everyone who will listen and try to turn others against you.

Again, understand that this bully is afraid of being exposed. Moreover, she is fearful of losing control over you. So she spreads rumors and lies to discredit you. They also do it to distract others from their appalling and embarrassing behavior. If they can make you look like you instigated it, then they get off scot-free.

You must understand that if the bully can make you look bad and turn everyone else against you, they reap several benefits.

  • They can intimidate you into silence and avoid any future risks of exposure.
  • Also, they can discredit you, make themselves look like the victim, and, therefore, gain attention and sympathy from other people.
  • The bully can successfully cut you off from any support you might otherwise receive.
  • They get the green light to bully you again later and with impunity.
  • Moreover, they get to move up the social ladder and win more friends and allies.
  • And, they get the satisfaction of maintaining power, domination, and control over you.

As goes the old political quote from World War II, “Accuse the other side of that which you are guilty.”

Understand that any smear campaign is designed to protect the guilty bullies from being exposed and shift blame onto innocent victims. It’s a tactic used since the beginning of time!

7. They will justify themselves.

  • Well, I wouldn’t have punched him if he hadn’t looked at me the wrong way. 
  • She wouldn’t have gotten hurt if she’d acted right.
  • If you’d only straighten up and fly right, you wouldn’t get beaten up all the time!

Bullies are forever making excuses for their rotten behavior. And, sadly, bystanders and witnesses fall for that garbage. But you don’t have to accept it.

So, don’t shut up no matter what! Continue to call out the bullies’ behavior! And if they react like any of the above, tell them like it is.

Instead of allowing them to silence you or going along with their hair-brained excuses, say this:

“The tirade isn’t going to work anymore,” or “Go ahead and lie all you want. Everybody knows this is only retaliation because I had the gall to expose your deplorable behavior! Right,(the bully’s name)? Is that what this is, (Bully’s name)?”

Be sure to say the bully’s name at the end of the above questions because that really shakes a bully when you put their name on it! If the bully says, “No!” Tell them in a fast and short tone, “Oh, yes, it is, and you know it, (Bully’s name)!”

Counter. Everything. They. Come. Back with!

8. Calling the Bluff:

They will threaten you with physical violence.

If they threaten to harm you physically, you must challenge that. Call their bluff. And be really to throw down if they put their hands on you.

In other words, if they hit you or shove you, haul off and punch them back. Remember that bullies don’t respond to diplomacy; they only respond to strength. Therefore, they will only back off if you give them a good whack in the nose.

This post is all about calling the bluff so that you know what to expect and how to handle any retaliation that bullies may throw at you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop a Bully: 9 Powerful Hacks You Can Use

2. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

5. When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

flying monkeys meaning

Flying Monkeys: The 15 Personality Traits They All Share

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‘Want to know all about flying monkeys? Here are all the traits of these kinds of people that you need to know.

flying monkeys

When we say flying monkeys, we don’t mean those from the Wizard of Oz. However, it is where the term got its meaning.

So, what are flying monkeys? They’re followers and minions who do the bullies’ dirty work. In other words, they’re those your bullies have recruited to attack you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the flying monkeys that bullies recruit to pursue you. Once you know all about those worker bees, you will recognize them when you see them. And, you will be able to better protect yourself from them.

This post is all about flying monkeys so that you can recognize them, see through their behavior, and protect yourself from them.

Flying Monkeys

It’s the bullies’ foot soldiers who do the dirty work of their leader. Why? For several reasons. The ringleader is too scared to fight their own battles, and the flying monkeys are slaves who do the work to get rewarded with something.

Having their strings pulled

Believe it or not, it’s easy to tell when someone is being controlled. Many nefarious actors use gaslighting to keep their followers in line. If you pay attention, you’ll always know if a person you know is being told what to say, what not to say, what to do, and what not to do.

If you are a target of bullying, you more than likely suffer at the request of a powerful ringleader. You may have had friends and allies at first. However, you’ve found that slowly, those friends and allies have only disappeared.

And now, you have no one left who will associate with you, much less help you. Do you know why?

It’s because your bullies have gotten to them somehow. Maybe they have either threatened to retaliate and harm them if they have any more to do with you. Or they may have given them good incentives to turn against you- social and financial perks, promotions, and rewards.

So, what are the traits of flying monkeys? How can you tell when a person is compromised?

1. Flying Monkeys:

They flip-flop back and forth.

This person will say whatever they’re told to say, often leading them to flip-flop. They say one thing, then later say the opposite. They say whatever they think will benefit them, or, at least, keep them out of hot water.

2. They say anything they think people want to hear, no matter how irrational and foolish they may sound.

Again, this goes back to flip-flopping. And bullies often change narratives. Therefore, their puppets must change with their puppet masters and handlers. This keeps them in the bullies’ good graces.

3. They go with whatever the prevailing narrative or belief is.

These worker bees will fall in line quickly. You can always tell a follower because they stay in lock step with their “masters.”

They quote whatever is popular and say whatever is popular. Moreover, they wear whatever the bullies are wearing and act however they must to stay on the bandwagon.

In short, they’re a bunch of wannabes trying haplessly to fit into the bullies’ world of morals and standards.

4. They’re chameleons.

This person will behave one way toward this person and another toward that person. Understand that this person has no personality of their own.

They conform to this group and that. They change personalities like a model changes clothes.

5. Flying Monkeys:

They can’t think for themselves.

Again, these idiots never think for themselves. They only flex and bend to anything others tell them. They allow others to suck them into the groupthink.

God help them if they ever had an original thought. Or worse, took a stand (gasp!).

6. They’re easily led and influenced.

Life must really suck if you need someone to hold your hand to make decisions. However, some people would rather be controlled than go out on a limb and choose for themselves.

They believe it’s better to have security than freedom. In their minds, freedom and independence are too risky because they might fail!

Being your own person indeed involves a lot of risk. Independence and free thought invite enmity and risk of failure.

However, you must understand that anyone who doesn’t like you because you prefer to be yourself is more than likely a controlling person. They may be an abuser, a bully, or a narcissist.

Only those who like to control others hate those who are independent and who think for themselves.

So, why would you want to please those types of people? Why would you choose a puppet master? Understand that only objects have owners.

You’re not an object, you’re a person with your own thoughts, feelings, opinions, and beliefs. So, keep it that way!

Flying Monkeys:

It’s best to let these kinds of friends go.

Let’s say that you are a target, and your friends and allies have turned their backs on you. It’s best that you have nothing more to do with them and find new friends.

You don’t want friends who are too weak to have your back when the chips are down. Trust me on that one.

You should choose strong friends and allies – people who aren’t too chicken to have your back and are more than happy to go to bat for you. That’s what real friends do!

These types of friends are hard to find. Fair-weather friends are a dime a dozen. Know that you deserve better!

Are they People or Sheople?

Sheople, sheeple, however you choose to spell the word, are people who are easily led. They are blind followers who are willing to be led to their own slaughter.

You often hear the word in toxic government politics. However, you also meet them in office and school politics. Not only do politicians use their followers, but bullies in the workplace and at school deploy them, too.

And most people are, in fact, toxic conformists. A person who thinks for themselves is a rare jewel, especially during the last few years. I’ll bet you’ve wondered why most people bow down and conform. I know I certainly have.

Flying Monkeys:

No one is born to follow.

None of us is born to follow. The adults in our lives may raise us that way. Moreover, we receive subliminal messages through the news and shows we watch and the material we read.

However, it’s up to us to dig deep and sort out the crap from the facts. Moreover, it’s also up to us whether to follow society’s standards or to follow our own path in life.

At the end of the day, we choose whether to live free or remain shackled to the whims of others. We decide whether to give in to bullies and peer pressure.

7. Flying monkeys don’t trust themselves to make their own decisions.

Why? They suffer from insecurity and lack the confidence to make their own decisions. So they take the easy way out and allow others to make decisions for them.

These types lack direction and are either easily bullied. Therefore, they allow themselves to be controlled and manipulated. In essence, they are slaves to the whims of others.

8. They are lazy.

Those who are lazy don’t want to work for anything; they want everything done for them. Therefore, they’ll do anything to keep from having to work for anything, even if it means that they relinquish their personal freedom.

So, they rely on others or the system to provide for them instead of providing for themselves. However, what they don’t realize is that they open themselves up to being ordered around and told what to do.

They accept being told how they should live their lives. Even worse, they open themselves up to being abused and taken advantage of.

Understand that the rewards of compliance are only crumbs, and anything free comes at a price. And that price is often your independence and autonomy.

No one will give you anything free, and if you can’t repay them with material goods. However, you will repay them with services or with your personal freedom.

9. Flying monkeys need someone to hold their hand.

They’re little five-year-olds in adult bodies. Again, they don’t trust themselves to make good decisions because they fear they’ll fail. Therefore, they feel they must have someone else guide them through the maze of life.

They don’t understand that to give up responsibility for their own lives is to give away their power. And, in most cases, bullies only lead them off a cliff!

10. They are gullible.

They believe anything others tell them. Why? Because they can’t think for themselves, so they adopt others’ beliefs just to fit in and be accepted.

They’ll go with any narrative you give them. They allow themselves to be lied to and used for someone else’s purposes.

11. They are dependent.

They either can’t, think they can’t, or don’t know how to do anything for themselves. So they rely on an authority to provide all their wants and needs.

And to keep getting their wants and needs met, these sheople will bow down and submit to the will of the person supplying them, even at their own expense.

12. They are hopeless.

Many flying monkeys are incompetent and ineffective. They don’t believe in themselves and, deep down inside, feel powerless. On their own, they can’t do anything right.

Many feel that they’re failures, and sadly, many of them are. So, they look to a so-called leader to do everything for them. What they don’t realize is that by looking to this person, they only make themselves subject to that person.

13. Flying monkeys are slaves.

By exchanging their freedom for security, they become servants. By caving into peer pressure, they become beholden to bullies and abusers.

Having someone else do everything for you means being obligated to them. Totally obligated! And because they’re completely useless and can’t take care of themselves, they must have someone else to keep them up.

And anything the other person tells them to do, they will do. Why? Because they know that if they don’t obey, the benefits they’ve been enjoying will stop.

However, who’s to say that they won’t stop anyway? What if the person decides to cut the sheep off once they’ve served their purpose? Then what?

14. They are fearful.

They are believers of fearmongers. They’re also afraid that they might have to work for something. Thirdly, they’re afraid that if they don’t conform, the benefits they enjoy will be cut off.

They are easily intimidated by those in power, so they do everything they’re told to stay in the good graces of the person or people at the top. Everything they do is out of fear!

15. Blind loyalty.

Blind loyalty means being loyal without really knowing why. They may think they know why. But, do they?

Blind loyalty is to follow someone without question. In that, flying monkeys continue to follow them even when they misbehave or cause harm to others. Instead of looking at them with a critical eye, they prioritize the relationship over the truth.

Followers even place the relationship before their own well-being.

In Conclusion:

Here’s the thing that flying monkeys don’t realize or refuse to accept. Once they’ve served their purpose, the bully will discard them like used toilet paper. Why? Because they are only tools.

They think that they’re joining a group with a cause. They believe that they’re really a part of something cool or important. However, what is really happening is that they’re being used. And it’s sad. Again, flying monkeys are only tools – a means to an end.

This post is all about flying monkeys, their personality traits, and their purpose so that you can recognize them, protect yourself from them, and pity them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

2. Mobbing in Schools: 9 Warning Signs Bullying is Out of Control

3. Tearing the Mask off the Bully: 3 Tools That Build Their Facade

4. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

female-on-male bullying at school

Female-on-Male Bullying: A Catch-22 No One Talks About

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Female-on-male bullying is something people rarely discuss. Therefore, want to know all about it so that you can recognize it when it happens. Here’s everything you need to know.

female-on-male bullying

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s not something we talk about. However, female-on-male bullying happens more than we know. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can recognize it when it happens.

Once you learn all about it, you will be able to call it out and stand up to it if you are a male who a female bullies.

This post is all about female-on-male bullying so that we can address the problem instead of burying it.

Female-on-Male Bullying

Here’s a reason why I believe that the term “toxic masculinity” is bogus.

Many times, you have a situation that most people ignore and almost no one talks about. And that is female bullying against male targets, and why society gives male targets a bum rap.

I cannot count the stories I’ve both read and heard about males being abused by vicious females. Boys and young men, who, under normal circumstances, are kind and caring but get pushed too far by their female tormentors.

And when they finally get enough of it, they strike back to defend themselves.

Females who Put Themselves in a Man’s Place.

Unfortunately, after suffering bullying for so long, the pressure builds to a breaking point. The poor guy finally decides that enough is enough and hits the girl back after she hits him first. As a result, HE gets blamed simply because he is male.

The girl knows very well that society protects females due to the still widely-held belief that females are the weaker sex. Therefore, she uses it to her own advantage by playing the “woman card” and feigning victimhood. And she completes the act with crocodile tears, rationalization, and projecting blame onto her victim.

The conniving and cunning female also deceives by acting sweet and innocent in the presence of the right people. She is silver-tongued. She is a pro at spinning a convincing story to deceive authority while demonizing her male target, all to avoid being held responsible.

The male target is actually a great guy with good morals, values, and ethics. However, to bystanders and the authorities, he is just another punk who goes around beating up on girls.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

The Catch-22

So, he ends up either suspended/expelled from school or arrested and charged with a crime, while his female bully looks on with a smirk of gratification. She then escapes punishment and goes on to select yet another male victim. Thus, the cycle continues.

However, let’s say that the young man doesn’t hit her back. He only restrains her to protect himself; he will still be dehumanized and punished because he laid hands on her.

Yes. You read this correctly. If someone physically attacks you and you restrain them, you can STILL go to jail. It will be as if you delivered the first punch because your hands were touching the person. It is impossible to restrain anyone without touching them.

This is just a sad example of how completely backward the rules and laws in this country really are.

The Second Catch 22

Let’s say that a young man is being bullied relentlessly at school by a girl or a group of girls. The girls have harassed this boy for many years. And, during this time, he is the bigger person and walks away instead of fighting back.

The other boys also laugh at him and make fun of him, calling him a wimp because he refuses to “hit a girl.” They feminize him by calling him names, such as “wuss”, “pussy”, “bitch-boy”, to attack him and strip away his masculinity.

And when the guy does the wise thing and reports the bullying, they tell him to “man up” or “toughen up.” And the other boys only shame him for being a “whiner”, “crybaby,” or “tattle tale”.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

What happens when being the bigger person doesn’t work?

Then, the young boy finally gets sick of the mistreatment, and walking away doesn’t work. This is what happens. He snaps at one of the girls and batters her until her lip and nose are bleeding. Now, all hell breaks loose!

Why? Because he goes from being labeled a wimp to being viewed as a punk who gets his jollies by beating up on females. Therefore, he can’t win no matter what he does!

So, authority members suspend, expel, or arrest him for assault and battery. Also, the other boys now want to jump him because he hit a girl.

As a result, the targeted guy, although a victim, is now marginalized by the system, which is supposed to protect him. But what other recourse does he have after he’s tried everything to defend himself and make the harassment stop?

The Moral Decline in Females.

My purpose is to open a few eyes and let society know that girls do sometimes bully boys. Women bully more and more men. Females are more prone to violence today than ever before in history, due to the significant moral decline of girls.

However, understand that this article does not apply to male bullies, who go around physically or psychologically harming females. It applies only to innocent male victims, who only want to be left in peace and live an everyday life like everyone else.

If two men are at odds with each other and resort to fisticuffs, they usually end up later patching things up. And they will go somewhere to have a beer together. Not so with women.

If two women get into an altercation, they are likely to hold onto their hatred. A woman is like a dog with a bone. She will cling tightly to her grudge against her rival until the heavens come crashing down.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Male Victims Have it the Worst.

I’m a woman myself, and I know firsthand that when it comes to evil, women and girls can be the most vicious of the sexes! In most cases of bullying, victims who are male get a bum rap! We must bring this to light!

It’s high time that we wise up to these females and expose their misdeeds to as many people as possible. Not all girls are made of sugar, spice, and everything nice.

Female bullies are sneakier. They’re better at going undetected than male bullies. Granted, there are always exceptions, but this is true for the most part.

Male bullies lean more toward outward physical bullying, and females lean more toward bullying of the psychological variety.

Female Bullies:

Most females are passive-aggressive and commit much of their bullying on a psychological level. Again, thanks to radical feminism and the moral decline in today’s young girls and women, physical assaults perpetrated by females are increasing at an alarming rate.

Females bully by Dividing and Conquering—attacking the targets’ relationships. Girls and women use smear campaigns, gossip, rumors, and witch hunts. These tactics are all designed to turn everyone against the victim.

Girls and women also use projection. In other words, they all project their own shortcomings onto their victim. Bullies do have flaws, and their greatest fear is you exposing them. Projection is the best way to hide their own imperfections.

Female bullies will use distraction. They distract others’ attention away from their provocation onto the victim’s reaction to it.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Psychological v/s Physical Bullying

Psychological bullying includes exclusion, dirty looks, taunts, insults, rumors, and lies. Also, it can consist of thievery, invasion of the target’s privacy, and destruction of the target’s property and relationships.

If this does not work, they may then resort to violence, although not as often as male bullies. If females want to cause bodily harm to their target, they are more likely to persuade someone else to do the violence for them.

They may send a male friend or a bigger and tougher female friend to catch the target alone and physically assault them. Moreover, they get them to comply by offering incentives.

These girls may offer illicit sex to their male friends to get them to do what they want. On the other hand, they may offer a tougher female friend inclusion in their clique and the chance to climb the social ladder.

These bullies may also offer money.

Female-on-Male Bullying:

Female bullies love to tear down your relationships.

By instinct, females are nurturers. Nature has hardwired girls and women to maintain relationships, especially family and romantic ones. Many young girls plan to get married eventually and have families of their own.

Thus, female bullies aim to sabotage the victim’s relationships. Again, most girls and women dream of finding a mate and having children from a young age.

Why? Because they have an instinct to nurture. Females are usually the family’s caretakers and homekeepers.

Slut-Shaming

Therefore, it should not be any surprise that female bullies are notorious for calling their targets names like ‘whore’, ‘slut’, ‘tramp’, ‘floozy’, and other names that attack femininity and virtues.

Moreover, anytime females call another young lady one of these names, there is an even deeper meaning behind it. Therefore, here’s the hidden meaning.

It’s that you are not marriageable. Female bullies deem you unworthy of a mate or children, and you are not considered to be a woman.

Female-on-Male Bullies:

Male bullies:

Because nature has hardwired most males to be hunters and gatherers, guys tend to be more physical. And why not? Back during prehistoric times, males had to hunt and bring home the food to feed their families.

Often, they had to fight off wild animals and men from other groups to survive. Although there are exceptions, males are more likely to use physical aggression.

People expect young men to be strong and tough…to display manhood. Therefore, if the target is another male, the boy bully will not only use his fists, but will also try to feminize their target by repetitively emasculating him.

In closing

If females bully a male victim, it’s even worse for that victim. Again, if he defends himself, society will automatically accuse him of being the aggressor. If he walks away from her, society will accuse him of being a weakling.

Therefore, this puts male victims in a trap that they can’t escape from.

This post was all about male-on-female bullying so that you can learn all about the unique effects and circumstances that male victims suffer.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Male bullying vs Female bullying

2. Male vs Female Bullying

3. Bullying Statistics Male vs Female: How Males and Females Bully

4. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

5. A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

Social Bullying: Clever Ways to Protect Yourself from It

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‘Want to know all about social bullying and smart ways to protect yourself from bullies who are destroying your social life? Here are all the details you need to know about.

social bullying

In this post, you will learn all about social bullying and how to protect yourself if it happens to you.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to buffer yourself from the effects of social bullying.

This post is all about social bullying and steps you can take to protect yourself from it so that your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit.

Social Bullying

Social bullying is one of the worst kinds of bullying. Why? Because bullies not only attack you as a person, they also attack your existing relationships and undermine your ability to make friends.

Social bullies use tactics like gossip, spreading rumors, and launching smear campaigns to destroy your reputation. By putting you down in front of others, they cast you in a bad light.

Understand that social damage equals emotional pain and weakened self-esteem. However, if you’re a target of bullying, you can protect your social life! And there are many steps you can take to do it.

So, you must learn those steps and do everything possible to protect your social life. And when you do, you automatically protect your emotional health.

Here’s how you can protect your social life from relational bullies.

Follow these steps, and you’ll take the sting out of the bullying you suffer. And, you’ll safeguard your self-esteem, reputation, and your social life.

1. Establish relationships and make friends outside the bullying environment.

In other words, if you’re being bullied at school, make friends with kids who do not attend your school. If people bully you at work, make friends, and forge relationships with people outside your place of work.

When you establish connections outside the bullying environment, you do so in a safe place, away from your bullies. You don’t have to worry about bullies coming in behind you and influencing these people.

Therefore, you can make allies more safely and effectively.

2. Maintain distance from your classmates or coworkers.

The further away you stay from toxic people, the safer you’ll be. So, keep your distance. However, this doesn’t mean they won’t try to hunt you down. Some people are sick in the head.

But you will lessen your chances of encountering them.

3. Social Bullying:

Realize that your bullies, coworkers, and classmates aren’t the most important people in your life.

They’re not the only people in the world who’ve ever known you or will know you in the future. They’re the only group of people whose views of you are based on lies and false information.

So, realize these people should matter the least to you. Your friends and positive relationships are outside that toxic environment, and more positive relationships will come. I promise you!

“But how do you forge new relationships and social networks elsewhere?” You ask.

4. join interest groups, places of worship, clubs, communities, organizations, and classes.

For instance, you’re bullied in school. Although your classmates may intensely hate you, you can join a scout troop or a martial arts class.  Therefore, you will likely be very well-liked by all the kids there.

You may be ostracized at the workplace. However, you can join the American Legion if you are a veteran. You can also join a group at your church or a music club if you’re into music. And you can find wonderful friends and a supportive network there.

Also, you can also advocate for a cause, take an art class, or join a music club.

Just don’t tell anyone what you’re going through at school or at work. That stays where it belongs, in the bullying environment.

Take time for them to get to know you. The only places appropriate for bringing up what’s happening at work are religious and therapy groups.

But feel everyone out first. The goal is not to find a place to dump all your problems but to find one where you’re valued and respected.

5. Social Bullying:

Fake it.

Appear calm and confident even when you feel like you’re about to fall apart. Only talk honestly with your most trusted.

The last thing you want is to allow your bullies to see that they’ve gotten the best of you. Why? Because you’ll, in essence, only give them the psychological rewards they’re looking for.

As a result, they will bully you worse to get more of those rewards.

6. Don’t vent nor gossip.

Why? Because you will look as bad as your bullies. You’ll also look unstable. Distance yourself from your bullies.

They might notice it and accuse you of being stuck up or standoffish. However, what they think shouldn’t matter. Why? Because your focus is self-care.

And practicing self-care is of the utmost importance when you’re a target of bullying.

7. Social Bullying:

Befriend others who are bullied.

The old saying that “birds of a feather flock together” rings true. The Law of Similarity dictates that to find good friendships, you must establish common ground.

Understand that those who share similar experiences are more likely to develop close friendships. Humans are naturally drawn to those who share commonality.

Making friends means finding like-minded people to bond with. And nothing bonds humans like a shared contempt for the same things, people, and groups.

Therefore, developing connections with other targets is not only necessary but wise.

When you find others who the same bullies have bullied, it confirms that you aren’t alone in the fight. Additionally, it’s a juicy opportunity to make friends and allies.

But that’s not all! It reinforces the fact that you are not a bad person. It says that, despite what bullies and most others have told you, you can make friends.

It sends the message that you are a likable person and automatically discredits your bullies. Therefore, having friends who share the same experiences is a real self-esteem booster.

And these new friends might back you up the next time your bullies come looking for trouble.

Commonalities Attract

When targets unite, they share a sense of sameness and are therefore least likely to conflict with one another. Each target in the group finally feels understood.

Case in point, sameness will always attract people to one another. People tend to become friends with those most like themselves.

When you begin associating with others that the bullies have targeted, you immediately establish common ground. It is this common ground that quickly develops rapport.

Social Bullying:

A “Target Rich Environment”

If you’re a target of bullying and you find it difficult to make friends, you can create a “target-rich environment” for yourself by staying among other targets.

I cannot say this enough- we develop the best friendships with those who resemble us the most. We’re attracted to people with the same desires and pursuits.

If you can find common ground, developing a positive relationship will be a cake walk!

So, how do you know that there’s common ground before you even talk to the person?

You start by noticing how the person dresses. Are there any similarities? If the person is wearing a T-shirt with the logo or picture of a rock group you like, there’s a shared interest.

Moreover, if they only have a slight interest in the group, you, at least, share a love of rock and roll music.

What a person is doing also gives clues. Also, their posture gives many tells.

For example, if a person is sitting alone at the lunch table, slumps in their chair, and doesn’t interact much with others, you know they have low self-esteem. And low self-esteem comes from bullying and abuse.

So, don’t be afraid to go over and talk to them. You might be the friend they’re looking for!

8. Social Bullying:

Seek to Be A friend and not only to make one.

Zig Ziglar once quoted,

“If you go out looking for friends, you’re going to find they are very scarce. If you go out to be a friend, you’ll find them everywhere.”

Therefore, make friends for the right reasons and you’ll be pleasantly surprised at the results! You must be a friend before you can meet one.

9. Be Approachable.

Before you can make friends, you must also be approachable. How you do this is to smile and stand up straight. Never slump when standing, and don’t hunch in your chair when sitting.

Make good eye contact and be interested in others. Look confident. Talk to strangers by making small talk.

Also, take pride in your appearance. When you look good, you feel good.

10. Stop Caring what others think. 

Once you stop caring about others’ opinions, you will be bullied less and less until it finally stops altogether. And it will happen like magic!

Why? Because people will notice that you don’t care anymore. And when you don’t care, you’ll no longer react when they bully you.

Social Bullying:

In Conclusion

Making friends when you’re bullied and suffer social aggression is easier than you think. I’m living proof because I know from experience. As a result, I’ve gone from being bullied to being loved and respected.

My only regret is that I didn’t have this knowledge when I was in school.

This post was all about social bullying and the steps you can take to protect yourself from relational bullies so that you can begin enjoying friendships and close connections.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

2. Relational Aggression: 12 Must-Know Reasons Bullies Use It

3. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

4. How to Make Friends When You Have None at School or at Work  

5. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying