‘Want to know about bullying survival and how victims in survival mode can make poor decisions if they aren’t careful? Here are all the mistakes to avoid.
When you’re stuck in survival mode, it negatively effects your judgment and your ability to make decisions.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the bullying survival mode effect and how it effects your life.
Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to make better, more sound choices and avoid the pitfalls that bullying and survival mode can trap you in.
This post is all about the bullying survival mode effect so that you can recognize the signs of it and do what you must do to avoid it.
Bullying survival mode
It’s not enough just to survive bullying. You must overcome it. Why? Because it can have a terrible effect on your life.
Here are all the things you can do wrong if you aren’t careful.
1. You find it necessary to lie.
I’ve never told one lie in my entire life, and that’s no lie! Ha! Shyeah, right!
Let’s face it, we’ve all told some big ones in our lives, myself included. And yes, even you have. No one is perfect and there are many reasons why people lie- too many to list.
However, victims of bullying lie for totally different reasons than most. Most victims of bullying don’t like having to tell falsehoods. In fact, they hate it!
But they do out of fear and terror. Victims of bullying lie because they feel they must just to survive. ‘You see? A person under the threat of being harmed will do anything to remove that threat. And if they have to lie to save themselves, they’ll do it.
Lying becomes a way to survive.
Many targets of bullying must tell lie after lie just to survive! Why? Because they know that the truth could get them hurt.
Also, victims of bullying lie because they think it will make the bullying stop. Sadly, lying becomes a survival method. Even worse, it grows into a terrible habit that’s hard to break.
I must confess that during the years I was bullied, I felt I had to lie to ensure my personal safety. And it sucked!
As a result, many of my relationships suffered. After years of suffering bullying, I became a very sneaky and wily person. In other words, I used cunning and craftiness to get through school.
I felt I had to use trickery and con games just to survive each school day. And I’m not proud of it.
Bullying Survival Mode:
If you feel you must lie to someone, that person has power over you.
If there’s one thing you should remember, it’s this. The people you you must lie to have power over you. They control your life. In other words, by lying, you make yourself a subject to others.
Here’s another thing you should remember.
People can tell when they’re being played. And lies have a way of unraveling. Falsehoods are also hard to maintain. And you must tell another lie to cover up the first one. In other words, it’s a lot of work to keep up a lie.
If this describes you, you must ask yourself these questions.
- “Who are these people that I should have to lie?”
- “Why must I work so hard to hide stuff instead of being myself and being free?”
- “Who do I have anything to hide from?”
- “Why should I give up my power to people who have no business having it?”
Isn’t time you got sick of all the bullshit? Isn’t it time you just said, “Screw it?”
Lying is Stressful!
Lying is too much work and it’s stressful too. And I’m just too lazy to do it.
Moreover, I’m glad I have the confidence to be honest without feeling a need to apologize for it. I know that I have nothing to hide from anyone. And that means I have nothing to lie about.
If others can’t handle my reality, then screw them! They don’t pay my bills, nor do they sign my paychecks. They have no bearing on my life whatsoever.
And even if they did, I still wouldn’t feel the need to lie to them about anything.
Being myself and standing in my truth allow me to relax and live in peace and harmony. I don’t have to scramble to cover up any lies. This is the life I love and want to continue to live.
Bullying Survival Mode:
Why Bullies Lie
Bullies and abusers are notorious liars. And they do it without even a shred of conscience. Bullies lie for reasons of vanity. Also, they lie to insulate themselves from accountability.
However, the scary thing about it is that they’re good at lying. In fact, their talent for telling such convincing falsehoods is what makes them so dangerous.
And why not, bullies and abusers have been telling fibs all their lives.
They’ve had years of practice. In fact, they’ve been doing it for so long that they’ve gotten down to a fine art. In short, bullies have become masters at deception!
Bullies don’t only lie to cover their butts and conceal wrongdoings, imperfections, and shortcomings. They also do it to discredit their victims, defame others, and destroy people’s reputations.
2. Bullying Survival Mode:
You Bully Other Victims
Bullying hurts. It’s not the physical beatings in the locker room nor having your books knocked out of your arms. It’s not the name-calling nor the threats. Nor is it the cruel jokes or pranks in the company break room.
It’s the cumulative sum of all factors
It leaves you feeling you’ve lost all control over your life. It seems you no longer have any say in what happens to you. It’s the feeling of having power over nothing!
In an attempt to snatch back control over something, you soon begin to bully those who are even more vulnerable than you are.
Through your own victimization, you learn that, to keep from feeling powerless, you must bully too. Therefore, in bullying you, bullies unwittingly teach you how to bully.
Victims who also bully others are called bully-victims. In other words, they’re people who are both bullies and victims of other bullies.
Fighting to stay off the bottom.
So, you bully other victims to feel better about yourself. Also, you do it to ascend a few rungs up the social ladder.
Nobody wants to be on the bottom. Everybody wants to be better than somebody. It’s a sad part of human nature.
Just as people fight like hell to stay on top, others fight just as hard to stay off the bottom. Why? Because shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.
Person A at the top bullies Person B, who is second from the top.
Person B then bullies Person C, and so on.
And down the pecking order, the nastiness rolls until it lands on Person Z at the bottom. Then, everyone bullies Person Z because they’re defenseless!
The last person doesn’t bully because they’re the one with the least power of all the others. In fact, anyone on the bottom is going to catch hell because they’re powerless.
Moreover, that person will likely be kept on the bottom because no one wants that position. Therefore, everyone keeps Z down to ensure that none of them ever take their place.
That’s how it works!
Bullying Survival Mode:
You bully to stay off the bottom.
As long as someone else is on the bottom, it keeps you and everyone else safe from being there. It’s why bully-victims get bullied by pure bullies, then go on to select their own victims to degrade and humiliate.
However, most of the time, this doesn’t turn out good. Why? Because sometimes, bully-victims become worse off then pure bullies or pure victims.
Pure bullies are people who don’t get bullied by other people. On the other hand, bully-victims are both bullies and victims of bullying by other bullies.
Moreover, they bully far more than pure bullies do because they have more to prove. Bully-victims are far more hated and ostracized than pure bullies or pure victims.
Therefore, they’re lonelier and have few friends or none at all.
3. You resort to trickery.
If you’re a pure victim or bully-victim, you often resort to trickery and deceit. Many bully-victims are pathological liars, cheats, fakes, and sneaks. They believe that humans are the lowest forms of life on earth. Bully-victims tend to be Machiavellian.
However, understand that these people need help. They need someone to get it through their heads that just because people are bullying them doesn’t make it okay to turn around and bully someone else.
So, tell them lovingly and with patience. Why? Because they’re hurting inside and they need someone to listen to them.
They need gentle guidance in the right direction.
4. Bullying Survival Mode:
Making poor choices just to be accepted.
Sadly, targets of bullying often make poor life choices. Years ago, I made some really bad decisions.
At the time, I didn’t really know why. However, today, there is no doubt in my mind that the reason I allowed myself to get into smoking marijuana and having sex during high school was that I was lonely from being bullied.
You see? When you’ve been bullied for so many years, you’ll do anything to be accepted. After so long, the loneliness, the despair, and the sadness becomes too much to bear. Then, desperation begins to creep in.
The bad choices you make include promiscuity and joining gangs. You may also get into drinking, drugs, and hard partying.
Moreover, you may participate in crime and commit high-risk behaviors, such as drag-racing and daredevil stunts.
Moreover you will sometimes do these things just to feel like you belong.
5. Dating Down.
You may also may begin “dating down”. You’ll settle for a partner you don’t really love. Or, you pick one who’s abusive.
Why? Because you need proof that you’re desirable. Moreover, you want to prove to everyone else that you can find a partner just like they can.
Bullied girls may also deliberately become pregnant because they want so badly to have someone (the baby) to love them.
If you are a target of bullying, I can’t emphasize enough that you don’t have to do these things to feel loved. There are better options.
And if the bullying is unbearable, find a way to get out of the environment and go somewhere you can be safe.
Instead of making unwise choices, practice your talents, and do the things you enjoy. Spend time with the people who DO love you.
Give a little of yourself to help others every day and I promise you, it will pay off sooner or later.
Know that there will come a day when you attract genuine friends into your life. Believe it with every fiber of your being!
This post is all about Bullying Survival and what not to do When you’re being bullied so that you don’t risk making your life worse.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!
2. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People