Tag: bulllying

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Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

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Are you a target of bullying? Do you want to know the secrets bullies hope you never find out?

secrets bullies hope you never find out

Bullies may look rough and intimidating on the outside. They may resort to threats of physical, social, and psychological harm to get what they want from you. However, are they really so tough? Fortunately for their victims and targets, there are secrets… secrets bullies hope you never find out.

In this post, you will learn exactly what those secrets are and why bullies don’t want you to discover them. Also, you will learn how to use this information to your advantage.

Once you learn about all these things bullies will never admit, you will be able to see right through your bullies and know the exact intentions behind the evil they do. Moreover, you will be able to predict what your bullies will do next just by watching them.

Even better, you will have the tools to use it against them and to your own advantage.

This post is all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can turn the tables on your bullies once and for all. You’ll be able to feel good about yourself in spite of how they may attack you simply by knowing where the attacks come from. And your confidence will soar!

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

1. Being a bully is WORK!

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. In other words, bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Therefore, they’re constantly afraid because they fear losing face if any of it ever gets out.

For instance, you may see one of your bullies wearing clothes from department stores like Nordstrom every day. But you may get lucky and notice him pull out a 20 dollar wallet from Walmart. That’s when you’ll know he’s nothing but a poser.

So, find ways to use it against him and to your own advantage. I can think of several and I’m sure you can too.

2. Secrets Bullies Hope you Never Find Out: They aren’t happy people.

They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others?

Bullies don’t feel they can be happy unless they’re bringing someone else, particularly, you, down. The only thing that makes bullies happy is to see you suffering. Therefore, see this as a testament to how miserable they really are.

They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they also do it to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else.

Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

Many bullies aren’t happy at home. They have stressful marriages and family lives. Or, if they’re in school, they have bad relationships with parents and siblings. Therefore, they feel powerless there.

However, at school or work, many bullies can control others to keep from feeling so powerless.

Therefore, keep your ears peeled and try to find out what their home life is like.

For example, if you’re in a bathroom stall and you hear your bullies enter the restroom. Draw your feet up and listen in on their conversation. You’d be surprised what you find out!

The trick is to find any good ammunition you can use for your own benefit.

3. They’re weak.

Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains nor social intelligence to get what they want any other way. Therefore, they must use force and intimidation.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can get their wants and needs met. All this makes for a life of drama and conflict. So, smile about it.

4. One of the main secrets bullies hope you ever find out is that They’re insecure.

Bullies constantly worry about what others think of them. This is why they act the way they do. They want to seem perfect because they’re so afraid that if others find out about the real person, they won’t like them anymore.

Bullies want so badly to be liked that they will bully you in front of an audience to score laughs from everyone and get approval.

Therefore, call them out on it. I promise you’ll feel much better once you do.

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims.

Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking,  or are more talented, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

Understand that bullies despise anyone who has something they want but do not have. Therefore, they will move heaven and earth to take it from them. And if they can’t take it away, they will punish the person for having it.

However, they would never admit that in a million years. Why? Because jealousy smacks of inferiority and the last thing any bully wants is to look inferior.

So, feel good about the fact that your bullies are jealous of you. It only proves that you aren’t the inferior one here.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool.

Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it.

Therefore, many bullies bully to look cute to any bystanders and witnesses. And sadly, most bystanders are under the misguided belief that bullying is cool.

This should make you laugh because you know they’re not so cool after all.

7. Secrets bullies hope you never find out: They seek approval.

As mentioned earlier, if a bully doesn’t get approval, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the approval they feel they never get.

Understand that bullies are simps. They only simp to be liked in ways that aren’t so obvious. However, understand that anyone who seeks approval, no matter how they do it, is one needy and pathetic human being.

Therefore, see it for what it is and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Why? Because you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such behavior.

8. They’re cowards.

They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves. Also, many bullies feel they must act tough to scare you into not fighting back.

However, realize that you should fight back. I’ve seem several bullies bully their victims to the point that the victim finally snapped.

As a result, the victim beat the living daylights out of the bully. Also, on some occasions, the victim whipped the bully in front of an audience.

Therefore, the bully never again bothered the victim and the target finally won respect.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters.

This goes back to number one and it’s way they work so hard to create an image. Bullies feel they must don masks to hide their true selves.

Again, understand that they do this out of insecurity. Bullies aren’t happy with themselves and fear that their true selves will be exposed.

Just knowing this will keep you out of the doldrums and view your bullies for the losers they are.

10. Secrets Bullies hope you never find out. They Bully to compensate for their weaknesses and shortcomings.

If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Also, bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing.

Moreover, they feel that this makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

For example, male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that most decent girls find them disgusting.

Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, cheap knock-off designer bags, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

Who wants to date someone with a haughty attitude?

This should give you a huge pick-me-up!

11. They crave attention.

Bullies love attention and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

Also, when a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the spotlight away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one.

They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

Bullies have secrets they don’t want exposed and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those secrets from coming out. Therefore, use this information to boost your confidence!

This post was all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can use those secrets to boost your self-esteem and use them against your bullies if you need to.

Posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

4. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Dealing with Bullying Differently Today Than in The Past

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Bullies have been around since the beginning of time and bullying is a dark part of human nature. However, that doesn’t mean that we should put up with it.

I’ve dealt with bullies at different times my whole life and it has led me to evaluate the way I dealt with bullying in the past. It has also led to a passion for learning more about bullying and what makes bullies tick.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

Bullies are highly insecure, egotistical, know-it-all creeps with god complexes, and they feel they must always be the center of attention. Therefore, they feel entitled to waste your precious time by telling you how they think you should behave, what clothes, accessories, and hairstyles they think you should wear, trying to teach you things that you already know and most likely learned when you were five, and being passive-aggressive (or overtly aggressive). They do this to impress others by making you look inferior.

This is how bullies get the attention they crave.

And the best way to deal with a bully is to refuse them the attention they want. And when we deny bullies attention, we don’t value their opinions of us or anything that comes out of their mouths. We deny them that supply- that ego trip they seek, and in that, we cease to be victims. We might still be targets, but never victims.

In the past, I’ve had bullies force me to justify myself over the most harmless and trivial things, compel me to do things I never wanted to do, and attack me with stealthy put-downs disguised as “teachable moments” and “friendly advice.”

Back then, I over-apologized for just being me, or for things I had nothing to do with. I apologized for other people’s bad behavior, which were things I had absolutely no control over. I bought into their lies and gaslighting and apologized any time a bully let me know that my interpretation of what they would say to me wasn’t meant the way it came across and that they’d never say such terrible things to another person. Then I’d feel bad for taking them the wrong way. All the while, they’d continue and even escalate the abuse.

I’d let bullies push me into losing my temper and returning fire with the same verbal attacks they launched against me. I would then feel terrible when the bullies would whine, cry, and moan about how much I’d hurt their little feelings and how I had “overreacted.”

It’s funny how bullies can always dish it out but can never take it when the crap gets kicked back their way.

What I didn’t realize was that by my reactions, I was giving these bullies the attention they were looking for. I was giving them the green light to push my buttons, to question my mental stability and jerk me around. I was making myself their play-toy. I was allowing them to tear me down in order to build up their own fragile egos.

It was all a load of tripe, and I fell for it- hook, line, and sinker.

But no more. Since then, I’ve learned to spot a bully by observing the same types of behavior. I’ve also learned not to play their games. A person may bully me once. But trust me, they’ll only do it one time because I know bullying and abuse when I see it. And I also know what it looks like in the early stages.

I make it a point to treat others how I’d like to be treated and to listen to other people’s opinions and takes on things. However, bullies and abusers are the exceptions here. And when I see the signs and realize that someone is starting to bully me, they automatically lose a target. And when I’m done with a person, I’m done and there’s no looking back. I won’t continue to stroke a bully’s ego.

If the person is someone in a high position, I’ll withdraw my support. If the person is a coworker, I’ll find another job or I’ll expose them by simply giving them plenty of rope,  then sit back and bide my time until the person hangs themselves and gets fired. If the person is someone related, any future contact will be on my terms.

And when I go no-contact, I won’t bother to explain to the person why I’m done with them because I owe them no explanations. Neither will I smack them across the head and let them know when they are about to cross the line. If they don’t have the self-awareness to realize that their evil actions and behavior are the problems, that’s on them and they’re the one who must deal with the consequences.

And no. I won’t have as much as a shred of guilt over it because self-care is nothing to feel guilty over. I value my sanity and peace of mind more than I ever will others’ opinions of me. For me, the knowledge gained from the lessons I had to learn gives me self-acceptance, self-love, confidence, and personal power.

9 Reasons I’m Thankful for My Bullies

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I know you’re scratching your head on this one. “Why,” you ask. It’s because they taught me things I never would’ve learned otherwise. And they showed me things that, although weren’t pleasant, were things I would need to know later.

1. They showed me the kind of person I never want to be.

2. They showed me the ugliest side of human nature.

3. They showed me the level of evil humans are capable of.

4. They showed me the types of people I don’t need nor want in my life.

5. They showed me the types of people to always avoid.

6. They showed me what signs to watch out for.

7. They gave me the determination to love myself and to go after what I want in life.

8. They molded me into a good judge of character.

9. They taught me the value of true, genuine friendships and to take no one for granted.

Yes. Although they were brutal people, and none of the bullying they dished out was fun by any stretch of the imagination, my bullies in school taught me all these things. And I hold these takeaways close to my heart today.

It’s hard to look for the silver lining while people are bullying you. However, once you get away from your bullies and the torment is over, not only do you regain a renewed sense of hope, but you also see so much clearer the lessons in what you had to endure.

With knowledge comes empowerment!