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fear

How to Overcome Unnecessary Fear: 5 Easy Ways to Eradicate It

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‘Want to know how to overcome unnecessary fear? Here are several simple tricks that every victim of bullying needs to know.

how to overcome unnecessary fear

Bullies thrive on fear and if you’re a victim of bullying, the fear they instill in you controls you and controls your life. Truth be known, you’re probably wondering how to overcome unnecessary fear and free yourself from it’s grip.

In this post, you will learn how to get rid of the fear, stand up to your bullies, and take back control of your life.

Once you learn all these mind hacks, you will no longer be afraid to stand your ground, set boundaries, and live life on your terms.

This post is all about how to overcome unnecessary fear so that you can have finally liberate yourself from bullying and have more freedom and autonomy.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

Fear is the strongest of all emotions. It’s an excellent asset in a genuinely hazardous situation where there’s the threat of immediate harm. However, it can be the most dangerous and paralyzing emotion in situations that don’t warrant your being afraid.

Understand that this kind of fear is THE number one tool in the bully’s toolbox. Bullies use it as a means to manipulate you and control every aspects of your life.

Realize that the power of fear is the only power bullies hold, and they don’t use it sparingly. Moreover, bullies instinctively know that real or perceived fear will shut down your rational and cognitive thinking abilities.

As a result, they can manipulate you into doing things you don’t want to do.

Next, let’s discuss the negative effects this fear has on your life.

How does unnecessary fear impact your life?

1. It strips away your personal power.

It weakens you, making you completely powerless to stop unpleasant circumstances from happening in your life. And most of these situations are those you could otherwise control.

2. by tearing apart your ability to reason.

Fear automatically shuts down the logical part of your brain and the survival part of your mind takes over.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

3. Fear discourages you from taking action in situations that require it.

You’re too afraid to take the risk that it might not produce the desired outcome. However, what if it does? This is what you should ask yourself every time you fear acting on something.

4. It strips away your ability to make your own choices and decisions.

Instead you only make choices that benefit your bullies because you’re afraid they’ll retaliate.

5. By discouraging you from defending and protecting yourself from harm.

Again, you’re frightened of standing up for yourself because of the risk of your bullies physically beating you up or retaliating psychologically.

6. Fear forces you to put your wants and needs on the back burner and shackles you to the self-interests of bullies and abusers.

Instead of taking care of your own priorities, you allow your bullies to force you to work to further their interests. Moreover, you never get a chance to do anything to make yourself happy.

Therefore, you must find ways to overcome this unnecessary fear. Moreover, you must gather the courage to stand up to your bullies and tell them to take a hike. They may retaliate. However, let them. Anything is better than putting up with unsavory people mentally enslaving you.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

A fearful person is easier for bullies to control than a fearless one.

Bullies have long understood the power of deliberately inducing fear in their victims to control and dominate them. Moreover, they know that it reaps them rewards.

These kinds of people maintain their oppressive grip on you by threatening some kind of repercussions on you if you don’t comply with their wishes. They then brag to others that they have the power to decide whether you get to live in peace and be safe from harm.

Also, they may tell you that if you do what they want or say what they want to hear, they will leave you alone. Additionally, they also demand that you do it willingly and without getting mouthy and catching a funky attitude.

However, we all know how this usually goes. Bullies don’t keep promises. They only keep you hanging.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to understand that your bullies greatly benefit from your fear, and they won’t give those benefits up without a fight.

How do Bullies exploit your fear?

There are 5 ways bullies use fear to control you.

1. spreading rumors and gossip

Bullies have a knack for making even the most ridiculous lies sound like the truth. Moreover, they make the most insidious abuse respectable, even admired.

They’ll slander you to keep you silent and ensure that you don’t speak out about the abuse. Also, they do it to isolate you and lessen the chances of anyone supporting you.

If they can turn everyone against you, then who’s going to believe you when you finally speak out about the violence?

Bullies will use your fear to turn others against you and recruit them to become willing participants in the abuse. Therefore, if nothing else, remember this:

Even the kindest of people can become willing co-conspirators because humans behave much differently in groups, then they do on their own.

“Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities.”

– Voltaire

How to overcome Unnecessary fear:

2. Bullies use Repetition

In other words, bullies will repeat their physical, psychological, or relational aggression. Moreover, they will do this over long periods of time to strengthen and solidify your fear.

They also continuously beat down your self-esteem and confidence to ensure that you don’t protect yourself or rebel against the abuse.

Understand that this is a type of coercive conditioning or brainwashing. Why? Because it’s specifically designed to break your will and get you to submit and accept more abuse.

Bullies may also repeatedly use the old bait and switch. In other words, they may make you empty promises of safety and security. Again, bullies don’t keep promises and will usually inflict pain on you anyway.

3. Gaslighting

If the bullies can make you question your own sanity, they can discredit you in the eyes of bystanders, witnesses and authority members.

Moreover, if they can cause you to doubt your own perception of the abuse, they can, therefore, cause you not to believe your own experiences.

And if your abusers can make you believe you must have done or said something to deserve the cruelty, all the better! Then you’ll surely keep quiet and do as you’re told.

4. To control everyone else

Bullies also use fear to control your peers and any bystanders. Moreover, they send the message that if anyone else dares to help you or associate with you, they too will suffer the bullies’ wrath.

Therefore, bullies use everyone else’s fear to control them too.

How to overcome unnecessary fear

How do you overcome your fear?

1. Gain knowledge of bullies and bullying.

Knowledge is power. Therefore learn everything you can on the subjects.

This means researching the psychology of bullies and bullying. In other words, learn why bullies bully and where their abuse comes from. For example, do they bully for social status or to keep from being bullied themselves?

Moreover, learn where their abuse comes from. Does it come from low self-esteem, sadism, arrogance, or a feeling of superiority?

Also, know what your bullies’ intentions and motivations are. Are they trying to get attention or admiration from others?

Finally, learn which tactics different bullies use and how it effects victims.

Additionally, you must also gain knowledge of human nature and tactics of warfare. You must also know the ways people attain power, psychology, and dark psychology.

Reading about the Dark Triad- Narcissism, Psychopathy, and Machiavellianism wouldn’t be a bad idea.

2. Stop worrying about any outcomes.

Once you detach yourself from the outcome of a situation, you automatically detach yourself from fear.

3. be not concerned with what others think.

In other words, stop worrying about what people think. Once you release yourself from others opinions, you release yourself from fear.

4. become angry.

Anger is one hell of a motivator. This means finally getting fed up and you’ll know when you’re fed up. Moreover, once you get mad because you’re sick of your bullies jerking you around, fear immediately becomes a non-issue.

To put it plainly, anger is the one emotion that drives away fear. Why? Because once you become angry, you no longer care. Damn the consequences! You’re finally ready to do something about this!

Only then will you gather the courage to make a stand and change your life for the better.

5. how to overcome unnecessary fear: Prepare yourself to fight! And fight like hell.

Whether you must do it physically or employ psychological warfare, you must fight for your right to be left alone. In that, you fight for your safety, your self-esteem, your peace, your happiness, and, in extreme cases of bullying, your very existence.

this post is all about how to overcome unnecessary fear so that you can take your life back and start doing you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

why people bully others

Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

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‘Want to know why people bully and the benefits bullies reap at your expense? Here are the things your bullies feel they have to gain from bullying you so that you can call it out and bust them.

why people bully

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably wonder what it is your bullies have to gain from bullying you. Therefore, here are the exact benefits your bullies get at your expense and what you can do to protect yourself.

In this post, you will learn why people bully and exactly what it is that motivates them.

Once you learn all about the psychological payoffs of bullying, you will be able to more clearly call out their behavior so that you will have a better chance of defending yourself.

This post gives you all the reasons why people bully so that you can know what motivates your bullies and call it out by name.

Why People Bully

Someone came to me with a burning question that I used to ask all the time. I am certain that millions of people worldwide have asked the same question, “Why do People Bully?”

There are many answers, and they all depend on the individual bully. Therefore, before we get into the reasons for bullying and the benefits bullies look for, let’s discuss three different types of bullies.

1. Spoiled, Coddled bullies with Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

These kinds of bullies bully because they are arrogant and overconfident. They truly believe that they are superior to you and better you and anyone else.

Therefore, they’ll stop at nothing to let you know who’s boss. You must understand that these creeps are self-entitled, self-serving, and have no empathy.

With these types, the ends always justify the means. They do everything possible to keep the spotlight on themselves and hog all the attention. Moreover, they consider themselves highly privileged.

Also, they’re jealous of anyone who outshines or outdoes them in any way. Why? Because they believe that any happiness, successes, accolades, and victories should be reserved for only them.

Therefore, if you have a talent that brings you recognition, look out! Because these bullies will punish you for it. And they will pull out all the stops to crush your self-esteem and kill your confidence to bring you down.

You’ll often find these people in the popular and preppy crowd at school. Also, they’ll be in the “Good Ole Boy” clique at work. Moreover, these bullies will often be jocks, cheerleaders, and sorority/fraternity nuts at school. They may also work in management or be one of the suck-ups at work.

2. Why People Bully:

Hurting and Victimized Bullies (Bully-Victims)

These bullies bully because they are being bullied themselves. The abuse could be happening either in the home, at school, in the workplace, or all three.

These aggressors feel powerless. Therefore, to reclaim some of the power that has been stripped away from them, they bully those even weaker than they are.

Bully-victims have a strong need to feel like they have control over something in their lives.

Here’s an example:

A child is yelled at by his parents, then he gets mad, goes outside, and kicks the dog. This is why I call this type of bullying, “Kicking the Dog.”

Moreover, no one wants to be at the bottom of the pecking order. As the age-old saying goes, “Shit rolls downhill and lands at the bottom.”

So, to stay off the bottom, these types will often find someone else to bully, so they don’t feel like they’re the ones stuck in the basement.

Just as people fight to stay on top of the social hierarchy, there are also those who fight just as hard to stay off the bottom. Hence, the reason victims of bullying often become bullies themselves.

3. Why People Bully:

Bullies who Are Followers, Drones, and Wannabes

These bullies are to be pitied because they are quite pathetic when you really think of it. This is because they will suck up to the in-crowd (the narc bullies).

Therefore, they do this by either bullying those lower on the social totem pole. Or, they’ll simply join the popular bullies in tormenting you.

Figuratively, when a person from the in-crowd tells them to jump. These wannabes will ask, “How high?” Moreover,  these people often become followers, minions, groupies, and flying monkeys.

They’ll do the dirty work of the bullies with narcissistic personality disorder. In other words, they’ll serve as their yes-men.

However, understand that these people are only kiss-butts and brown-noses. They’re only bully you hoping for acceptance into the popular crowd.  Also, they do it because they’re afraid of becoming the next target.

Different people bully for different reasons. When we can distinguish the reasons each bully bullies we can better prepare and protect ourselves.

Why people Bully:

What are the benefits Bullies gain at your expense?

Understand that the laws of human nature dictate that no one does anything without some sort of psychological payoff. Therefore, bullies reap several benefits at your expense if you’re a target. Here is a list of those benefits:

1. A sense of power

Simply put, bullies bully for power, control, and domination. Therefore, anytime a bully takes you down, they get a tremendous rush of power. They also become addicted to that rush.

This is why bullies never bully once. They always come back for more. It’s no different from having a drug addiction. The evil actions, cruelty, and power become a drug in and of themselves.

Also, as with any drug, the same tactics and frequency of bullying lose their potency after a while. Therefore, the bullies must escalate the torment to keep getting the rush they crave.

For example, when name-calling and verbally abusing you lose their thrill, your bullies will grow bored with it. Therefore, your bullies will often escalate the abuse.

They’ll resort to either cruel pranks, humiliation, or physical assault and battery to keep getting the rush they look for. It’s the same as when a junkie builds a drug tolerance and begins taking higher doses.

2. Why People Bully:

Popularity

Bullies bully because, sadly, many people think it’s cool or cute. Therefore, they see it as a means for increased social status.

‘You see? Bullying gives the bully lots of attention and visibility. Bullying isn’t only a way for bullies to exert power but it gains them the popularity they crave.

 And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bullies’ social status is increased, while yours is reduced.

Moreover,  having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to some people’s sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if your bullies are dead broke.

On the other hand, if the bully does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

3. To Compensate for a shortcoming

We’ll use a lack of money and material wealth, for example.

Most bullies don’t have a lot of money. And these are the types who achieve social status through exploitation of your mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings.

Bullying is not a healthy way to achieve social status. Therefore, a healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement.

The achievement could be joining a positive movement or donating to a charity. However, one tiny mistake can instantly tarnish one’s reputation and all the good they’ve done.

The world is, sadly, quick to blame a person for any negative qualities or actions while slow to forgive or to give credit for good deeds. Moreover, bullies instinctively know this and take full advantage of it.

However, the only way that broke bullies can excel up the social hierarchy is by demeaning others. And they do it by taking the tiniest mistake you make, adding to it, and blowing it up to decrease your social ranking.

4. Why People Bully:

Superiority

Bullying gives the bully an appearance of strength. Moreover, it sends a message to you and others that he’s a badass, and that they’d be a fool to mess with him. The bully also gives the appearance that he’s top dog.

Therefore, your bullies will torture you to keep up that facade.

5. Attention and Sympathy

Many people do it to distract others’ attention away from their own behavior. Therefore, if the bully can make you look the devil reincarnate, people won’t pay so much attention to her evil deeds.

For example, if she picks a fight with you and you stand up to her, she can make you look like the villain. Afterwards, she gets to enjoy the attention and bask in the sympathy others give her.

6. Distraction from their own shortcomings

Bullies are experts at making you look weak and pathetic. If the bully can distract everyone else’s attention to your weaknesses, he can keep the spotlight off his own defects.

Why? Because if people expect to see trouble coming from a specific place, that’s where they’re going to look.

7. Why People Bully:

Projection of their own flaws onto someone else

Bullies have a flare for accusing you of the same deplorable shit that they do themselves. Therefore, if your bullies can make you look like the troublemaker, then they can go unpunished.

 Moreover, they can continue to attack you freely and with impunity. Again, this also takes the focus off their own misdeeds.

8. The satisfaction and gratification of seeing you suffer

Your bullies love to see you suffer. For them, your misery is entertainment and gives them a rush of power. In other words, just knowing that they can determine how you feel and how your day goes gives them a feeling of dominance.

Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction. Be a waste of time and energy to them. The way to do this is to see your bullies for the weak wusses they really are.

Realize that bullies bully because they’re great big cowards. They have no persuasion skills. In fact, they have no redeemable qualities. Therefore,  the only way they cam be effective is to bully their way through life.

Keep this in the back of your mind.

9. To tighten the bonds in their group

By tormenting you, bullies garner support from others who are just like them and who share the same values. After all, bullying is most effective in group situations, where people unite to serve a certain objective.

Therefore, know that bullies never work alone. They always have people backing them.

Group bullying gives talentless bullies a sense of belonging. Also, it tightens the bonds among members of the group.

Furthermore, this collective bullying also makes them more successful in bringing you down than if the bullies worked alone.

Another advantage to group bullying is the mob mentality it produces. It’s a dark part of human nature that people conform and imitate the behaviors of other members of the group. Therefore, in groups, bullies have more power and can make a much bigger impact.

Bullies Never Work Alone, They’re Too Cowardly

10. Why people Bully:

They Can’t Achieve Social Power any other way.

Understand that people who bully others to achieve social gain can never achieve it any other way.

These types of people are the talentless, the lazy, and the incompetent. Moreover, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these bullies exactly as they are – empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

11. They See Bullying As An Aphrodisiac

That’s what bullying is to bullies, an aphrodisiac. In other words, it’s the only way these people can feel good. Again, hurting you is like a drug to them. It’s highly addictive because it gives them a massive rush of power.

You must understand that targeting others for bullying is how they find meaning in their lives. And the only excitement they can add to their meaningless lives is through mistreating you.

In short, bullies bully because they enjoy it.

People crave power, fame, notoriety, and influence- even the best of them. But most can get those through love, through their hobbies, jobs, talent, and creativity.

On the other hand, bullies don’t have these things going for them. Some might have jobs but aren’t satisfied in their positions. So, they abuse people instead.

And once you’re no longer available to them because you either quit or move away, the aphrodisiac isn’t there anymore. So, what will they do?

They’ll search for a new victim to get their next fix.  Moreover, they may even turn on one of their friends if they can’t find a target outside their peer group.

Why People Bully:

It’s Not You, It’s Them!

If you’re a target of bullies. You are not the one with the issues.

Your bullies are the ones who have the problems. They are the ones who are mentally unbalanced. Therefore, they are the ones who belong in mental institutions.

However, they only hide it behind their undermining and degrading of you and others. Realize that they’re only projecting their problems onto you.

Your bullies are using you as a distraction. And they have to work hard at it, which doesn’t make for a good life.

Always remember that, and their insults and stupidity won’t bother you as much. I promise you!

This post was about the reasons why people bully and where their abuse comes from so that you can know what bullies are really about and have more confidence in yourself when they come for you.

1. Why is Self Acceptance Important? 21 Must-Know Reasons

2. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

3. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

4. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

5. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

from a bully's perspective

A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You

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‘Want to know all about the bully’s perspective and what they really want to say to you? Here you’ll get a peak inside the minds of bullies, especially when you stand up to them.

a bully's perspective

Bullies have a Divine Right of Kings attitude toward their victims. They feel that they are entitled to abuse them and that their targets don’t have the right to defend themselves. In other words, bullies expect their victims to just shut up, stand still, and take their abuse with a smile, then ask for seconds.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly what a bully’s perspective is and what they expect from you.

One you learn all about these attitudes and expectations, you will be compelled to double down in protecting yourself from bullies. Moreover, you’ll finally know what bullies are thinking.

This post is all about a bully’s perspective and the importance of standing up to your bullies.

A Bully’s Perspective

If you’re a victim of bullying, Here is what your bullies want to say to you.

We warned you! We warned you not to rock the boat. ‘Told you not to make waves. We made it clear that your place was beneath us. Therefore, you should take our abuse without question and without refusing.

And we shouldn’t have to spell that out for you!

Nevertheless, what did you do? You just had to push it! ‘Had to get uppity! You just had to challenge our authority!

So, ‘you want to make trouble? ‘You want to diss us? ‘Grow some spine and step up to us?

Now, because of you, we risk the threat of everyone else challenging our power!

Therefore, what would you do if someone on a lower level than you challenged you? What would you do if some nobody humiliated you and made you look like a punk in front of everybody?

Yeah, yeah! People may advise us to just “let it go” or “overlook it!” However, you’ve made thhis personal and there’s no coming back from it!

Do you really think you won any respect by clapping back at us? Uh-uh! Nope! What you did was start a war!

So, don’t talk to us about right or wrong! Don’t speak to us about fairness! Because right and wrong, just don’t come into it! And fairness is a fairytale for babies!

We’re going to teach you that there’s a social order in this place! And there’s a certain way we do things around here!

You’ve forgotten who you are. We must teach you that some people matter, and some don’t! You also need to learn that some people can, and some can’t!

A Bully’s Perspective:

When you stand up to us, you take away our power over you.

Don’t say a word because you’d feel the same way we do! You’d think,

“This loser doesn’t know his place! He’s forgotten who he is! He has grown too big for his britches and too smart for his own good! He doesn’t know when to leave well enough alone!”

“He’s gotten too cocky, too sure of himself, too bold and too arrogant! In short, he’s threatened our positions at the top of the social totem pole! And threats must be contained!”

During the Medieval period, anyone who disrespected any member of a royal family would be dragged off to the guillotine. And the remaining peasants would know that they would be next if they even mentioned the troublemaker’s name.

The “Divine Right of Kings” rule still stands today, in this school, in this workplace, in this community, in this world.

People in our positions are allowed to beat our chests and throw our weight around freely and with impunity. It’s okay for us to abuse anyone we deem unworthy of humane treatment. If you were any one of us, you’d think,

A Bully’s Perspective:

we’re afraid that if you stand up for yourself, you just might start a trend!

“But (target’s name)! Who the hell does that freak think he is! He opened his smart mouth and dissed us! Now all the losers may rise up and demand their rights to equal treatment!

What? Allowing them to get through a single day without getting their brains beat in isn’t enough? Shoot! They should be down on their knees, thanking us for not making things worse for them!”

“Losers like him (the target) report you to the principal and get you in trouble! Or they get the big boss involved!

They join anti-bullying groups and get involved in anti-bullying programs at school! Or they join workplace safety groups!”

“Shyeah! Like that’s gonna help them any! And don’t EVEN get me started on those groups! They’re always looking for publicity!”

“They even write journals, publish books, and post on their blogs! They call you and your friends out on things you’d rather people inside or outside town not find out!”

“So, with the bullying awareness movement (Ugh! What a joke!) that’s sweeping the globe, it’s harder for us to insulate ourselves from accountability!

And since virtually everyone has a smartphone with a camera, how can we punish our target without further exposure and the risk of punishment and ruination of our prospects?

How can we reinforce our dominance over this creep, and make him cave in and bow down to us? How do we make our target submit?

A Bully’s Perspective:

we Will Fight Ferociously to keep our power.

We make the little rebel’s life a living hell and use him as an example to the rest of our subjects. However, we can’t make it too visible. We must be cunning and covert! Our attacks must be deniable.

We’ll do this to teach this punk a lesson show him who’s boss while letting the other schoolmates know that this will happen to them if they dare get out of their places. You call it tit-for-tat, we call it frontier justice.

Maybe you think that we don’t know we’re bullies. Well…you poor, clueless thing, you! Newsflash! We know we’re bullies and we’re proud of it. ‘Wanna know why?

Because bullies rule!

Why? Because it’s cool to be cruel! Sorry. That’s reality and you can either deal with it or continue to be a hero and get treated worse!

The higher up on the social hierarchy we are, the more brazen and brutal we are. And when you threaten our power, the more desperate we are.

Therefore, the harder we’ll fight to keep the popularity, attention,  favor, the having our butts kissed, and the social status we enjoy.

You need to realize that the positions we hold and the friends and followers we have give us special treatment. We get rewards, and liberties that nobody else can get.

1. we will try to hold you down.

And the power we have is too delicious to give up. Outside of our group, our high social status, and this town, we have nothing!

So, if this little pipsqueak thinks he’s going to man up and punk us out in front everyone, then we’re going to give him both barrels!

In this power struggle, we have an arsenal of power, reputation, connections, and favor. And we’ll use them all to bury him!

It takes a long time to isolate a target. But we have the patience of Job.

And while we wait for the outcome, we’ll get our kicks out of watching him suffer! He thinks he can win friends and respect?

He thinks he’s equal to us? Not in this lifetime! We decide who talks to who, who makes friends and when they do.

And we can kill any opportunity to make friends, get a date, have a promotion, and even turn the teachers, coaches, supervisors… any staff member against him if we so desire.

A Bully’s Perspective:

we Thrive on Silencing you.

We can shut him up by ridiculing him every time he speaks, even if he’s right. And if he gets in kind of praise or recognition from others, it’ll only further piss us off.

Then, we’ll turn up the heat on his butt!

We’ll shame him by calling him a nerd or a bookworm in school. We’ll accuse him of being an arrogant know-it-all at work! Finally, by the time we’re through with him, he’ll be too afraid to open his smart mouth!

We can exclude him from company meetings, school clubs, ballgames, school dances, proms, and other functions.

We’ll control his emotions. He won’t get any enjoyment in life unless we say so. We can make sure he does nowhere but down. Then, we’ll leave him to rot in his own loneliness and misery. We’ll make sure he’s stuck on the bottom of the pecking order and never moves up.

As a result, we’ll dim his shine, strip him of any confidence, change his smug attitude, and make him loathe himself! We’ll make him trash!

He crossed us- that makes him a leper as far as anyone else is concerned. Does he really think anyone will stand by him?

Sure, others may hate us because they can’t be us, but they fear us! They may talk smack about how they’d stand up to us, but talk’s cheap.

A Bully’s Perspective:

2. We isolate you.

Oh, yeah! The other folks talk the talk. But we know that when the time comes to walk the walk, they’ll only tuck their tails between their legs and run.

Moreover, they’ll leave the little wuss to fend for himself. They’ll know better than to piss us off because they know that we have the power to make their lives just as hard as we made his (the target’s).

Nobody wants to be next on our hit list, and we don’t blame them! It isn’t their problem, and they don’t want to end up down in the basement either.

So, what’s he going to do about it? If he does manage to scrounge up a few friends, they’ll be the few no-counts who are just as desperate as he is.

Also, they’ll hang with him only because they have no other options themselves. This gives us another juicy idea! Hmmm… Perhaps if we pretend to like and accept those other losers, they’ll throw his sorry butt under the bus too! Then what friends will he have?

How do you think we got to where we are? It’s because we’re the most knowledgeable of human nature.

Moreover, human nature dictates that, just as there are people who fight to be on top, there are also those who fight just as hard to stay off the bottom.

Oh, the other losers may feel sorry for the target, but they need us to leave them alone. They expect us not to make them bigger laughing stocks than they already are.

Therefore, the few friends he has will know better than to support him. Anyone would be a fool to have a dog in this fight!

A Bully’s Perspective:

we love dominance and power.

Around here, we are royalty! We’re the top dogs. If anyone else wants to be safe, they need our permission.

Therefore, the target’s friends don’t want us to make things any harder on them. And they know that if at any time some blockhead pisses us off, we take no prisoners!

So, even his friends will pretend it isn’t happening. Why? Because they know better than to have his back.

And if he shoots his mouth off to them or anyone else about any of us, many of them will report back to us for these reasons:

  • To get on our good side
  • In hopes that we’ll accept them
  • To stay off our hate-radar

And if we grill the target’s friends with questions about him, they’ll tell us anything they think we want to hear. This is good because they more than likely know all his deepest, darkest secrets!

Maybe these friends will know we’re only using them to get the deets from them. Then again, maybe they won’t, but either way, it won’t matter. The only thing that will matter to them is keeping us satisfied, and keeping their butts off our shit list.

Do you see where we’re going with this? The fix is in. If the target continues to push back against us, others will avoid him to keep from arousing our wrath.

And no matter how strong he thinks he is, he won’t be able to handle that for very long.

A Bully’s Perspective:

we will bombard you with attacks to wear you down.

Here are more ways we assert and reinforce control over targets who step out of line.

3. We spread rumors and lies about you because we know it works.

That’s right! We’ll demonize him. And he won’t even know about it until it’s too late and enough people are itching to take him apart.

We’ll sow discord between him and everyone else. Hell! Even the teachers or supervisors! We’ll make him public enemy number one!

Get this straight. All we have to do to demonize our target is to throw around a few offhand remarks and loaded words.

‘You see? We bullies been best friends since kindergarten, and some of us since we were babies. We are a family and we keep each other’s darkest secrets and fiercely protect each other. In other words, we cover each other’s butts.

Our families know each other, and we have connections to quite a few city officials and local big shots. Everyone knows us and they love us- very much!

We’re in cahoots with the right people and they tell us everything.

Nothing is private. Not in this town. This is our kingdom. And it’s crawling with lackeys, suck-ups, and wannabes. These people straddle the fence and they’re the ones you’d l least expect.

And he messed with one of us, so he messed with all of us!

4. A Bully’s Perspective:

we make you do degrading things with the promise of acceptance.

By this time, we’ll have him so rejected, alone and alienated that he’ll sell his soul to the devil just to get a crumb of acceptance. So, why not give him something to strive toward?

Make him do something to embarrass himself. And trust us, we’re creative!

We’ll think of something so humiliating and degrading! Setting him up to look pathetic is going to be so fun!

Moreover, we’ll film it for the entire free world to see. And he’ll never be able to get away from it.

We’ll also set him up to get in trouble with authority by baiting him into a few fights. We’ll get in his face. One of us might even throw the first punch and force him to hit back.

Then, we’ve got him. We’ll all band together and say he started it, cook up a good story, and he’ll be the one blamed.

And the icing on the cake is that after everyone finishes blaming and punishing this loser, they’ll give us sympathy for being victimized by such a monster.

That’s just life! It’s the mixed up world we live in. Some matter and some don’t. And if a target tries to defend himself, others will only accuse him of being defensive, a whiner, or mentally imbalanced.

But those rules don’t apply to us because we can do no wrong. Remember. We’re royals. And the double-standards we held our target to are beneficial to us.

Don’t be surprised and don’t catch an attitude. You’d do the same thing if you were one of us.

5. A Bully’s Perspective:

We fantasize about you transferring out or, even better, killing yourself.

Seriously, we do. But then again, we really don’t want that because, if he did either one, all the fun would end and it would be game over.

We need our target to stick around so that we can continue getting our jollies and free entertainment.

We prefer to make things worse on our target slowly and gradually, dragging it out for as long as possible. We’ll enjoy watching him withdraw from everyone and lose his appetite. Smiling as he gets sick, and shakes from nervousness, we won’t take our eyes off him.

And we know he will snap sooner or later.

Get this straight! We’re not completely clueless. We learned the laws of human nature early. How do you think we got so darned popular with kids and adults alike?

And how do you think we rose to the top of the social totem pole? We knew the rules of the social game long before most people knew how to use the bathroom by themselves!

We also know that no one can keep that kind of pressure stuffed down inside forever. It’s impossible. Eventually, the target will explode.

It always works better that way. And when he does blow up, we can only hope he does it in front of an audience.

6. A Bully’s perspective:

We would love nothing more than to beat the ever-loving crap out of you but we don’t want to risk getting caught.

We’re already building a case against the target. We can pick out small incidents, take them out of context, and spin them to make it bigger. Also, we can craft a pattern out of them and make it look like evidence that is so damning.

Sure. Like, love and attractiveness are all subjective, but the system and social dynamic are rigged in our favor.

We’re too smart to do something so obvious and we don’t want to get our hands dirty. We’d much rather psychologically pick the creep apart in front of everyone and use his words against him.

His intentions don’t matter. A screw-up is a screw-up and we’ll stick it to him. We’ll do it under the guise of friendly advice, the stealthier way to attack.

7. we will Pit what friends you have against you.

If we can’t turn his friends against him any other way, we’ll attack them too. We’ll accuse his friend of being in on the target’s little rebellion.

Why should we do the dirty work ourselves when we have peer pressure on our side?

His friends will blame him for dragging them into it and causing them to become targets. They won’t care to hear any explanations or justifications.

They’ll just want their lives back and they’ll ostracize and gang up on him to make that happen. Cause and effect is such a beautiful thing! Why not use it to your advantage?

8. A Bully’s Perspective:

We Send henchmen to commit our violence for us.

As much as we’d love to beat the target’s brains out with our bare hands, we’re too smart to get blood on ourselves. In fact, we won’t even be there.

Therefore, if the above tactics don’t work, we’ll just send a few roughnecks to kick his ass for us. And why not? We’re the kings and queens around here.

Seasoned Bullies Don’t Like to get their hands dirty.

Therefore, all we have to do is offer the right incentives and we can get anybody to do anything we want them to do.

Even better, we’ll get the toughest guy with the worst reputation and put a bug in his ear. We’ll make him think that the target is trying to put the moves on his girl. Then we won’t have to offer him anything in return.

It won’t matter what the truth is or whether the target even knows the girl. Because we have all the power, connections and trust, just our names and our word is golden.

The target gets his head kicked in and gets a ride in an ambulance. We fade into the woodwork. And if things get too hairy, we just let the tough guy take the fall!

And if tough-guy tells the cops that we put him up to it, do you think they’ll believe him?

Brilliant, huh?

This post is all about the bully’s perspective to give you a peek into their minds.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples 

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

4. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

how to spot a bully in a crowd

How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

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‘Want to know how to spot a bully and pick them out of a crowd? Here are all the body language cues you must be aware of.

how to spot a bully

If you want to combat bullying, you must know how to spot bullies before they spot you. This means having a spidey-sense when it comes to reading people. You must automatically pay attention to others’ non-verbal communication and their silences.

Therefore, in this post you will learn how to spot a bully among a huge crowd of people. You will also learn more about body language in general.

Once you learn all these non-verbal messages, you will be able to better protect yourself against bullies and bullying.

This post is all about how to spot a bully and what you can do to protect yourself from them.

How to Spot a Bully

Why You Should Learn to Read Body Language

Body language is the unspoken messages we all send everyday. You should learn these things not only to read other people but also to be aware of your own nonverbals.

For instance, noticing the clothes people wear and the arrangement of objects in their homes and work spaces can also give clues as to the kind of people you’re dealing with.

Moreover, it pays to notice patterns in their breathing and tensions they have in certain muscles (mainly the neck and jawline). You should also have the ability to read the subtext in conversations.

The feet are the parts of the body that people pay the least attention to! However, this is a mistake because the feet can tell you so much.

Participating in or listening to conversations is good practice as well. And you should also home in on what is implied rather than what is said.

All of this is non verbal communication. And let’s face it, there is no such thing as an action that doesn’t communicate something.

The ability to read nonverbal communication is increasingly becoming a lost art due to technology and the advancement of social media. And that’s a sad thing because without it, we lose the ability to live in harmony with our fellow man.

How to spot a bully: Bullies always display these types of body language, especially around their targets.

Dominance and Superiority Body Language

1. Bullies take up lots of space to appear bigger.

In other words, you will often see bullies place their hands on their hips and stand extra tall.

2. If you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will stand extra close to you.

Moreover, they’ll stand so close that they will sometimes touch you. Your bullies deliberately invade your personal space to intimidate you. Moreover, this is the way they show you who’s boss without saying a word.

Therefore, how you respond is to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell off.

If they don’t move or they move closer to challenge the boundary you just set, you may have to throw up your dukes and enforce that boundary.

3. Bullies will also frown and purse their lips at you while maintaining unblinking and unwavering eye contact. Also, they will bore their eyes into you like a dagger, without moving their heads.

Again, this is to intimidate you and let you know that they’re watching you.

And when they glare at you, they do it persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.

Know that these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!

Therefore, you respond to this by reflecting the same body language back to them. In other words, return the glare and purse your lips back at them. Let them know that they don’t scare you and that you can take care of yourself if you have to.

4. How to Spot a Bully:

Bullies will freely touch you because they have no regard for your personal space.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. They may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go. A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you.

Understand that your bullies do these things to show you who’s in charge. Also, they may do it to compete with you.

Moreover, they may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes! In your bullies’ minds, they own you.

Their unspoken message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

Therefore, you must jerk away from them and tell them to never ever put their hands on you. And, if they challenge you by touching you again after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to punch their lights out.

And when you do, hit them so hard that they’ll think twice about ever messing with you again. Make the lick count!

5. If you are sitting, bullies will often stand over you to look bigger and more intimidating.

Or, if you’re standing, bullies who are short in stature will often stand on something to appear taller than you. Some may stand on their tiptoes.

Bullies will also lay claim to your territory (your desk, spaces, parking spaces, etc.) and expect others to obey rules when near the claimed area or object.

Again, they do this to intimidate and dominate.

Therefore, tell them to back the hell up!

6. How to Spot a Bully:

Other ways of Invading your space and claiming ownership

Your bullies may walk into your room, office, or home uninvited and without knocking. They may sit in your chair without asking permission.

Other invasions include leaning on your vehicle and parking in your parking space. They may cut in front of you in line, or prop their feet on the back of your chair when sitting behind them.

I had a girl do that to me in school, and if I knew what I know now, I would have jumped up and beat the living hell out of her!

Understand that bullies crave control and do these things to take away your power.

Therefore, you have every right to demand that they either know first or don’t bother coming in.  If they lean on your care, desk, etc, tell them to get off the object. You must stand up to these people!

7. Bullies also put their hands on your personal belongings with a carefree attitude.

But know that the message the bully is sending you is this: “I own you, so I own anything that is yours.”

Therefore, tell them in a firm tone to keep their hands off your shit!

 They may walk up to your table during lunch, pick a French fry off your plate, and pop it in their mouths. They may pick up your fork and take a bite of your food.

Moreover, your bully may also pick up your phone and began scrolling through the contents. They may even rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.

The hidden message the bully is sending is, “I can take whatever I want, and what are you going to do about it?”

Therefore, do something about it!

Get up, face the bully, and say, “Don’t you ever do that again.” If he challenges you, again, punch their lights out.

They crossed the line and you must enforce your boundaries. Why? Because they’ll keep it up if you don’t.

8. How to Spot a Bully:

Another way bullies invade territory.

They walk in the center of a hallway or sit on a flight of stairs, expecting people to move and go around them.

Bullies may also stand in the middle of a road and driveway or take their time crossing the street, forcing cars to stop and wait.

Therefore, tell them to move or to get out of the way. You could also say, “Excuse you!” This may or may not change their behavior but it will let them know that you aren’t afraid to stand up to them.

9. Bullies also show dominance by how they dress or the car they drive.

Bullies do this to impress admirers and to one-up you and other targets. Therefore, see it for what it is, a pathetic ploy to show off.

How you respond to give them a dismissive look and keep going. They aren’t worth your time.

10. Hostility Body Language

Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin.

The pinching of the jaw is used to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them. It’s their way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.

Therefore, realize that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.

Therefore, put your hands on your hips, stand with your feet shoulder-width apart and give them the death glare. The point is to let them know that you aren’t the least bit intimidated.

11. How to Spot a Bully:

They pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand or another object.

Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall, or the palm of their opposite hand.

Any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for the victim’s physical body.

Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.

Also, male bullies may snarl at you, whereas female bullies will glare at you with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.

Repeat the response in number 10. Show the creep you aren’t afraid of them.

12. Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up.

They size you up by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests. The best response is to mirror the bully.

13. Bullies will stand in the center of the room.

They do this to be the “center” of attention. I call this the “look-at-me” body language. Therefore, how you respond to this is just to dismiss the body and keep walking.

How to Spot a Bully

In Conclusion:

Here’s a complete rundown of what we just covered.

If a bully violates your space or belongings, always call them out on it. Never let it happen without asserting yourself. If a bully stares you down, always return the stare. Either look them in the eye or look them between the eyes.

If they look at you while standing feet apart and arms akimbo, reflect the exact same stance back to the bully. Mirror the bully to show that you’re not the least bit intimidated by them. If the bully is rushing you, slow down. Do not speed up! Remain calm.

Also, if the bully challenges you, enforce the boundary you set. Sometimes this may mean putting up your dukes.

Here’s another thing that we didn’t mention but is important because it will help your self-esteem tremendously.

Dress your best and look your best. This shows that you take pride in how you look and conveys confidence. It also helps you to feel better. When we look better, we also feel better!

This post is all about how to spot a bully so that you can read their body language and be better prepared for anything they may try.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

4. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

the perfect victim theory

The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

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‘Want to know why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies? Here are the characteristics bullies look for in potential targets and how you can turn the tables on these predators.

the perfect victim

If you’re a victim of bullying, you probably ask yourself a thousand times a day, “Why me?” And you’re not the only one who has asked that question.

What you may not know is that your bullies purposefully chose you to bully. Moreover, there are reasons why they selected you as their target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn one of possible reasons why you seem to be the perfect victim for bullies. Moreover, this post will teach you by listing the exact characteristics bullies look for in potential targets so that you can figure out which trait applies to you.

Once you learn all about these characteristics and why they chose you, you will be able to turn the tables on your bullies and take back your peace, your happiness, your mental health, and your life.

The Perfect Victim

Bullies never randomly choose their victims from a crowd. There are certain criteria they search for and not everyone meets that criteria. This is why it isn’t everyone who gets bullied.

Therefore, when you think of the perfect victim for bullies, what kind of person do you see? A nerdy boy with eyeglasses? A girl with a weight problem?

Granted, these could be factors. However, there are many people who wear eyeglasses and who have issues with their weight that troublemakers never target. Trust me, I’ve known several in those categories who were completely accepted regardless of those things.

Therefore, it’s not about picking those with vulnerabilities that are obvious and people can see from five miles away. Bullies often pursue those who have victim qualities that are nuanced and less obvious.

So, what is it about these victims that attracts human predators?

It’s the weaknesses in their psychological makeup. Now, this is not to say that all targets have mental illnesses. However, there are things about them that instantly attract these human predators.

Here are 9 characteristics that draw bullies like vultures to a carcass. (The traits of potential Victims)

1. Emotional Fragility

When someone is emotionally fragile, they tend to wear their heart on their sleeve. These are those who cry easily. Also, many of them are sullen and have a crappy outlook on life in general.

People who are painfully shy are also bait for bullies. Moreover, those who get angry and flip out easily may also be targeted for bullying, though not often.

The reason bullies choose these types of victims is because they know they can easily get a reaction from them. Remember that bullies love the reaction they get because not only do they get their kicks out of it, but they can also weaponize the victim’s reaction and use it against them.

What do I mean?

Let’s say that harassers pick on a victim who easily loses their temper and the target flips out on them. The bullies can then use the person’s reaction to reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Therefore, it’s the target who gets the blame and thus, labeled the troublemaker and the bullies get off Scot free, even though they are the ones who are the provocateurs.

2. The Perfect Victim:

Sensitivity

Sensitive people also fall into the emotionally fragile category. For example, you can so much as look at them the wrong way and they’ll dissolve into a puddle of tears.

Therefore, bullies will target this person. Why? Because they know the person will break down crying and give them the reaction they’re looking for.

And once the victim starts crying, the bullies not only make fun of the person and call them a crybaby, but they can also use the tears against the target.

How? You may wonder.

They can accuse the target of being “too sensitive,” or a “crybaby” who just needs to lighten up. Therefore, other people will more than likely agree and stop taking the victim seriously. Because, after all, the target just needs to grow up and stop being such a wienie. Right?

3. Weak Personalities

When I say, weak personalities, I’m talking about people who are afraid to be themselves. Also, you have those who constantly seek attention and approval.

Granted, bullies do these things as well, only they’re better at hiding it.

However, when you’re afraid to be yourself and it’s obvious, you will also attract bullies. Realize that this doesn’t make you a bad person. You may come from a home where you aren’t allowed to just be your own person, therefore, you put on a front out of survival.

Therefore, I’m not judging you nor accusing you. What I am saying is that bullies can sniff that out and they will take full advantage if you’re not careful.

Remember that a pack of wolves always target the injured elk in the herd. It’s the same with bullies. They always go after those who are already injured in some way.

Maybe the potential victim has low self-esteem. Or they could suffer from nervousness brought about by a past traumatic event.

Again, bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. They’re opportunistic creatures!

4. The Perfect Victim:

Fear and Anxiety

Bullies will select those who are fearful and anxious. These people make good victims because bullies can leverage their fear and anxiety to get what they want. Also, a person who is nervous and fearful is easy to control and dominate.

Remember that bullying is about power and control. And bullies need these types of people to assert superiority over.

5. Loneliness

People who are lonely are especially vulnerable to bullies. Why? Because someone who has either very few or no friends or family is also least likely to have a support network.

In other words, there’s less chance of them having anyone to protect them or speak in their behalf.

Therefore, bullies can easily abuse this person any time they feel like it, with little chance of accountability.

A person who is always by themselves is the perfect opportunity for bullies. Why? Because people who are alone all the time are likely going to be desperate for friends and human connection

This desperation is something bullies can easily exploit for their own evil purposes. Therefore, these people are fertile soil for bullies to sow seeds of abuse and manipulation.

6. The Perfect Victim:

Disappointment

Those who are disappointed in life also make easy targets for bullies. Why? Because bullies can often make empty promises and dangle carrots of any of the things the victim desires to draw them in.

The victim’s desires could be acceptance and friendships, or it could be material things. Whatever the void, the bullies are more than happy to fill it, and for nothing more than to sucker the potential victim into their web.

7. People-Pleasing Behavior

Loneliness, disappointment, and people-pleasing behavior often intersect with each other. Therefore, people-pleasing behavior is a dead-ringer for bullies to exploit.

There are many reasons someone may feel the need to people-please. They may do it for acceptance and approval. Also, the person may do out of a survival mechanism to keep someone from harming them.

Nevertheless, bullies will quickly take notice. Then, they will dangle carrots of friendship and safety to draw the potential victim in, only to exploit them later.

8. The Perfect Victim:

Co-Dependency

All of the above mentioned psychological holes are related and can go hand in hand. Co-dependency is another weakness bullies look for in potential targets.

People may become co-dependent out of loneliness and the craving for approval. Moreover, they may people-please to get the friendship, romance, and approval they desperately seek. Also, these people may have fear and anxiety at the prospect of being alone.

Now, do you see how this works and how many traits on the list intersect with each other?

Therefore, bullies may notice these things and search for ways to suck the person in and exploit these weaknesses.

Therefore, if you have any number of these weaknesses on the list, bullies will be watching and waiting. In fact, they will see you coming a mile away.

Why? Because bullies have a flair for sniffing out anything that plagues the psyche, from loneliness, to low self-esteem, to fear and sensitivity. Bullies have a radar for any kind of insecurity and they will exploit it for their own personal gain or simply to hurt you.

Therefore, take all of this as a warning!

9. Exceptionalism

Exceptionalism is a little different. Yes, you can be an exceptional person and still have some of the above insecurities. However, bullies will also target confident people who are exceptional.

The person may make straight A’s in school or be a music prodigy. They may perform well on the job and get lots of praise and recognition from supervisors and coworkers.

Also, they target those who are goal oriented, highly intelligent, and take responsibility for their lives. Empaths are candidates for hate from bullies as well.

Creative and imaginative people are those bullies love to tear down. Understand that bullies fear their potential and they will try like the devil to kill that good seed before it has time to grow.

But why?

Here’s your answer in one word. Jealousy!

Realize that bullies want to be the top dogs. They do not like to be out-shined. In fact, they despise competition! And anytime you’re exceptionally talented, you steal the spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, expect them to victimize you without fail. Because they will just to poke holes in your confidence and self-esteem.

The Perfect Victim

In Conclusion:

If you fall into either one of these categories, let me ensure you that there are ways you can protect not only your body but your mind against the onslaught of bullies.

Therefore, your first line of defense is always, ALWAYS, self-acceptance. And when I say self-acceptance, I mean complete self-acceptance.

You must accept yourself, flaws and all. Moreover, you must be okay with who you are and love every thing that makes you you.

Why? Because when you’re happy with who you are, bullying attacks won’t have near the effect on you that it does if your self-esteem is broken.

In other words, your self-love and self-acceptance will act as your body armor and shield, preventing the psychological attacks of bullies from penetrating.

Therefore, accept yourself. Love yourself and all your imperfections. For we all have them. Even your bullies have flaws.

This post is all about the perfect victim and the characteristics in them that bullies look for and exploit so that you can pinpoint which one you have and take steps to turn the tables.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

3. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

25 signs of a toxic person psychology

25 Signs of a Toxic Person

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‘Want to know the 25 signs of a toxic person? Here are the tell-tale indicators that you need to be aware of.

25 signs of a toxic person

One of the first steps in protecting yourself from bullying is to know what types of people you should avoid. Also understand that trusting your feelings is just as important.

Why? Because some people are experts at hiding their true intentions and some things just aren’t so obvious.

In this post, you will learn the 25 signs of a toxic person so that you can protect yourself by knowing who to stay away from

Once you learn all these red flags, you will be able to better shield yourself from evil people and protect your peace.

This post is all about the 25 signs of a toxic person you need to know about.

25 Signs of a toxic person

It’s a good thing that we all have a sixth sense and are able to sense the vibes and energy others put out. This can also work in our favor. The trick is to listen to that innate instinct and trust it.

 You can often tell who they are by the way they talk, behave, carry themselves, and how they treat other people.

Here are the types of people you should avoid altogether

1. taking and never giving

If you find yourself doing all the calling, texting, and the visiting, then, the relationship is one-sided and it’s best to cut the person loose.

2. gaslighting

This is a person who never takes responsibility for their behavior. Moreover, they find everything wrong with you and nothing wrong in themselves.

What’s really bad is that they never have anything positive to say. What’s worse is this person will often put on a gleaming façade of perfection.

At the same time, they throw stones at you and anyone who “rubs them the wrong way.” And when they hide their own shortcomings, they will project them onto you to use you as a distraction from their sins.

Therefore, don’t walk, run! This person is not the least bit healthy to be around!

3. 25 Signs of a toxic person:

They Constantly Criticize

Although this should be a no-brainer, many people are abused for so long they become rewired to take even more of it. However, the fact remains.

Anyone who makes you feel like crap shouldn’t be a part of your life and you should weed them out.

These people constantly criticize you. They seem to have a problem with every thing you do and how you do it. Moreover, they have a problem with how you look, what you wear, the way you keep your house… everything!

It seems they search for things to nitpick. These are folks you want to show the door to, quickly!

4. Stabbing you in the back

The backstabber is someone who is two-faced. They smile in your face but trash you once you’re not around.

Here’s something else to think about. If you have a friend who talks smack about their other friends to you, then you can bet the farm that they’re running their pie hole about you to the same friends when you’re not around to hear it.

 This person will often pretend to be your friend. The sad thing is that you’re usually the last to know.

Therefore, you should never trust this person. Be careful what you share, not only with these people, but with anyone. Never share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

Understand that this person isn’t worth knowing. So, take out the trash.

5. 25 Signs of a toxic person:

They’re a Shallow Hal.

If this person was any more plastic, they’d be a Barbie doll. This person is superficial and is constantly belittling other people’s weight, looks.

Moreover, they may talk trash about the clothes others wear, or the car they drive. So, have nothing more to do with this person.

6. Neediness.

The needy person always seems to be desperately searching for love, friendships, clients, etc. Then he complains when he doesn’t find them.

Moreover, they do this while looking past what’s right in front of their face and forgetting the people who’ve been there for them.

Understand that they aren’t worth your time and you should act as if they don’t exist!

7. Constantly One-Upping You.

This person one ups you every time you tell them of your blessings or anything good you accomplished. In other words, if you took a whizz, this person took two.

If you went out on a date, this person went on two dates- you get the picture.

Therefore, they’re all about themselves and is always trying to outdo you to look better than you. Ditch and switch, baby!

8. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They invalidate your feelings.

Only you can know your inner reality. No one else can possibly be privy to that information.

If someone tells you how you feel, they claim to know the unknowable. Moreover, if they tell you how you should feel, they send the message that you don’t have a right to feel the way you do.

No one has the right to do that to you. No one! Tell them to take a hike.

9. They’re jealous of your good fortunes.

This person is never happy for you when you reach success. In other words, they secretly resent you each time you make an accomplishment.

Moreover, you can always tell because you will accidentally look out the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll see the tiny micro-flashes of contempt, they shoot at you when they think you aren’t looking.

What you need are cheerleaders- real friends around you, not frenemies who resent your successes. Chuck this person fast!

10. They like to stir the pot.

This is a person who loves to sow discord and division among others. They work as a double-agent.

In other words, they like to go back and forth, telling each person what the other said about them. And when the two quarreling people finally come to blows, this scumbag will then stand back and watch with glee as the two duke it out.

Get rid of this creep! Fast!

11. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

The Drama Queen

Closely related to the pot-stirrer, this bad egg is a chronic complainer and always seems to be in a jam. Their misfortune seems to be never-ending.

In other words, they have bad break after bad break.

Now, we all have times when we must vent, and we all have bad luck at times. That’s perfectly normal. But when it’s constant, you have to wonder if the person is, somehow, bringing much of it on themselves.

Moreover, they have a problem for every solution. These types are never happy and impossible to please.  In fact, they will blame others for their misfortunes.

More importantly, drama queens and kings also tend to be suspicious of others. They’re the type who think that everyone is out to get them or everyone has ulterior motives.

And if they think everyone is out to get them, they’ll think you’re out to get them too and they will try to get you before you get them.

Additionally, if they have to do any kind of work, they’ll whine and bellyache about it.

Realize that bad moods have ways of spreading fast. No one wants to be around a nosebleed who whines constantly.

Therefore, stay away from this person because they’ll dog your mood.

12. Belittling and ridiculing your goals and dreams

when you talk about your dreams and aspirations, or celebrate an accomplishment, this person will pee all over it.

For example, if you decide to go back to school, your so-called friend will tell you that you’re not smart enough. They may even tell you that you’ll be doomed to fail.

Show this idiot the door because they’ll only drag you down. Even worse, they may cause you to doubt yourself and your capabilities.

13. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They love to gossip.

This individual is a walking tabloid. You’ll see and hear her talking trash about different people and you’ll notice she does it all the time.

Moreover, she tell you everyone else’s business and might even broadcast her own to get you to divulge yours.

Many gossips will even talk about people they don’t know but have only heard about. They always seem to know everything about everyone– everything, short of their bathroom habits.

14. The person is nosy.

 Virulently nosy! This snoop should be considered a twin sister to the gossip.

Why? Because most gossips tend to consistently have their face in everyone’s else’s business.

You will often find them asking others personal questions. They’ll ask them about their finances, how much they get paid. Heck! Some will even ask about their sex life or whether they have one!

Moreover, you’ll find them with their ear to the door, eavesdropping on conversations. Also, you may witness them eyeing others closely, butting in, and inserting their cheap two-cents where it doesn’t belong.

Therefore, it’s best to avoid these people at all costs!

15. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

Passive-Aggression.

These people will be those who subtly insult you and make backhanded compliments. In other words, they’ll hurl little zingers your way and make you feel like a total loser.

Moreover, this person is sneaky and should be avoided because if they even think you’ve slighted them somehow, they’ll unless a rash of covert attacks. And you won’t even see it coming until it’s too late.

Also, if they have an agenda and you just happen to be standing in their way, look out! They will make your life a living hell. This person is to be avoided at all costs!

Again, this is the person who doesn’t belong anywhere near you. So, do like Snoop Dog and “drop it like it’s hot!”

16. They make you feel like second choice.

If you have a so-called friend who only wants to talk to or spend time with you when their first option isn’t available, it’s time to walk away.

Don’t be second fiddle. Don’t be somebody’s option B, C, or D. Tell this creep to go pound sand!

17. They only come around when they want something.

Realize that this person doesn’t really love you for you, but only sees you as a convenience. In other words, they only love the benefits your friendship brings them.

These are the kinds of people who only show up when they’re in a jam and they need money, advice, or help with something.

You’re not a bank, you’re not Dear Abby, and you’re not a go-to person when someone needs help with something. Therefore, understand that you’re much more than that.

Sure. It’s great to want to help your family, friends, and your fellow man. Nothing wrong with that. But if they only take advantage of you, it’s time to cut them off and cut them loose!

18. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They put out bad vibes

When we’re around some people we can sense that something is off about them. In other words, we pick up on the vibes and energies they put out that don’t feel quite right.

Always listen to your gut feeling because vibrations don’t lie. Then keep this person at arm’s length!

19. They’re fake.

These types of people are always trying to be someone they aren’t. However, if they aren’t happy with themselves, they won’t be happy with you either.

It’s best to eighty-six their butt! Pronto!

20. The attention-seeker

This person is also calling and texting because they need emotional support. Granted, there are times when we all need it

Also, they may show off.

However, if you have someone in your life who seems to constantly need it, or they’re constantly trying to show out to impress others, it may be time to cut ties. This kind of person is exhausting to be around and you must do what you must to protect your psychological well-being.

21. 25 Signs of Toxic People:

They thrive on manipulation.

This person manipulates the people around them to get what they want. They stretch the truth, tell little white lies and use circumstances to their advantage.

However, if they manipulate others, they’ll do it to you too. Avoid them at all costs!

22. They lay guilt trips.

These types of people will try making you feel guilty for not doing what they want you to do.  Don’t fall for it and don’t capitulate to them. If you don’t want to do something, there’s no law that says you have to.

Avoid this person as well!

23. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

The pathological liar

This is a no-brainer. Avoid anyone who’s dishonest because you can never trust them.

24. The control freak

These types want to be in control all the time. They expect you to do everything their way instead of having your own way of getting things done.

Moreover, they want to have control over your life. And they don’t like to ask. They prefer to give orders.

If you have someone in your life who likes to tell you what to do, it’s best to sever ties and preserve your autonomy.

25. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person:

They’re arrogant.

This individual thinks they’re better than you. They’re condescending, patronizing, and look down their nose at anyone they think is less intelligent, has less money, or doesn’t measure up to their standards.

However, realize that their arrogance is only a cover for insecurities. Also, it’s a front to deceive people into believing that they’re better than what they are.

Walk away from this person!

If you want to protect yourself from all kinds of evil people, it’s important to know that anyone who abuses, mistreats, or disrespects you doesn’t deserve to be a part of your life. Understand that people who don’t value you are of no value to you.

 Therefore, take out the trash.

In Conclusion:

You must create your own value, and you do this is by how you allow others to treat you. Therefore, treat yourself well and never settle for people who don’t see your worth.

Realize that it’s not your job to make other people’s lives easier, neither is it your responsibility to make them feel better about themselves.

Therefore, take back your self-respect and your power. Get rid of anyone who shows any of the above signs and save yourself a ton of future heartache.

Again, anyone who seems to suck the life out of you doesn’t deserve to be in your life. Although you can’t control their behavior, you do have a choice of whether to have any more to do with them.

You have more power than you realize. Use it and give these life-leeches the boot!

This post was all about the 25 signs of a toxic person so that you can know who to part with and preserve your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Beating Bullies at Their Own Game: 9 Insanely Easy Strategies

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‘Want to know exactly how to go about beating bullies at their own game? Here are 9 proven and effective tactics every bullied victim must know.

beating bullies at their own game

When bullies target you, it can leave you overwhelmed, confused, and depressed. Why? Because it seems that they knock you down at every turn, then keep you down. However, there are easy ways of beating bullies at their own game. You just need to know how to do it and do it successfully.

As someone who’s experienced it and learned the art of beating bullies at their own game, I’m giving you the nine easy but effective ways to outfox and outmaneuver your bullies.

In this post, you will learn the nine most effective ways to win against your bullies and become virtually invincible to bullies.

Once you learn these so-easy-it-shouldn’t-work strategies, you will rise above your bullies and become your own hero.

This post is all about beating bullies at their own game and the techniques you should use to do it successfully.

Beating bullies at their own game

Let’s get right into it! Here are the nine easy strategies you can use to turn the tables on your bullies.

1. See your bullies’ behavior for what it is, know where it comes from and realize the intentions behind it.

When you really stop and think about it, bullies can crack you up sometimes, can’t they? Or at least they should.

Bullies try to get your attention by making a smart-alicky comment here, a backhanded compliment there. This is a weakness and you can use it as such if you know how.

Many bullies will deliberately stand behind you in the checkout at the supermarket and sometimes a little too close. These are all attention-getting behaviors and if you’re a target of bullying, you’ve probably had people do the same to you on more than one occasion.

However, the funny thing is that when you see the behavior for what it is, where it comes from, and what’s it’s designed to do, you no longer care. And when you no longer care, the behavior ceases to be hurtful nor threatening.

Instead, it becomes boring, then hilarious or it only makes you pity the poor things.

Beating bullies at their own game means realizing that your bullies are miserable and pitiful souls.

Moreover, it must really suck to be a bully. All that expended effort to put on airs and all that hatred and vitriol! Bullies must carry around all that baggage and it only makes them look like the miserable pieces of garbage and not you.

All that negative energy that usually only ends up coming back to bite them later! All that effort to bring you down! And for what?

Attention? Is the meanness designed to intimidate those they find threatening?  Maybe the bullies want to be feared, admired, or adored by everyone. Or, they may think it makes them look big and tough.  They may think their behavior looks cute.

Nevertheless, the end goal is to feel better about themselves and more superior.

Sure. The mean and hateful behaviors of bullies can hurt, no argument there. However, after so long, there comes a point when you no longer give a crap.

Moreover, there comes a time when their behavior loses its potency and no longer has the intended effect it once did.

As a result, the people who bully you only become less menacing, less threatening, and less of an issue until they become downright boring. Then, finally, they become irrelevant.

Any behavior repeated over and over again gets so worn out and overdone until it becomes as stale as a three-day-old pile of shit that has lost its stink.

2. Beating bullies at their own game: Ignore and mock their insults, taunts, and worthless prattle.

Watch the bullies continue the same worn-out behaviors, making arses of themselves. They push a little harder and a little harder to get your attention. They may even use gaslighting to prompt you to get defensive.

Maybe they strategize and change tactics because what they’ve been doing just isn’t working anymore. However, it store bores you to death because, again, you just don’t care.

Therefore, you no longer react to it. You only walk away chuckling and leave the bullies standing there with their mouths hung open.

Again, bullies don’t realize that, after so long doing the same old shenanigans, they eventually reduce their effectiveness and become a real yawn. Moreover, your bullies become so pathetic in your eyes that you can’t help but to shake your head in pity.

So, understand that here are two things bullies hate- being mocked and your refusal to submit or react to their childish taunts and threats.

3. Keep being yourself.

In other words, don’t let their childish behavior change you. Again, this takes re-framing your mindset to see their behavior as an indicator that there is something wrong with them and not you.

Therefore, relax, be yourself, and let the haters hate.

4. Beating bullies at their own game: Keep taking care of yourself.

Put simpler, keep doing the things fulfill you and creating the life you desire. Practicing self-care is of the most importance when people bully you.

Eat right, exercise, take care of your physical and mental health.

The key here is to create your own happiness and well-being.

5. Focus on and take care of the people you love and who love you.

Instead of focusing on the people who could care less about you and want to see you suffer, focus on the people who love you and who lift you up. Usually, these people are your closest family members and friends.

Moreover, realize that those who don’t see your worth shouldn’t live in your head rent free. So, promptly evict them because they aren’t worthy of one ounce of your energy.

Also, work to create happy moments with these people because they love you and want nothing but the very best for you. Attend family gatherings or host them. Take trips with these wonderful souls. Stay connected with your people.

6. Beating bullies at their own game: Pursue your dreams and aspirations.

Work on your goals and focus on the things you wish to accomplish. This is, by far, the best way to handle bullies. Why? Because when you keep your mind on your goals and dreams, you’ll have no time to think about your bullies.

And, if you don’t think about them, they can’t control you. Heck, they can’t even phase you. And that’s a win for you and a loss for them. Remember that bullies try to get your attention. This is the best way to avoid giving it to them.

7. Get out and enjoy nature.

In other words, go for a walk in the woods. Or, you can go to the park and read a good book on a beautiful fall day. Whatever you love to do outdoors, whether it’s lying on the beach or walking your dog on a walking trail, get outside and enjoy nature.

It’s the best way to recharge, relax, and unwind. Also, it drives away depression because it releases endorphins. Moreover, it gives you lots of vitamin D3 from the sun!

8. Learn new things.

In other words, read, write, and look for lessons life can teach you. The point is not to let yourself stagnate. If you’re not learning new things, you stagnate very easily and that only brings depression.

Therefore, always take the opportunity to learn new things. For example, you could take a course or go to the library and check out a good self-help book to read. Whatever way you choose to learn, always strive to acquire new knowledge.

Your mental health will thank you! I guarantee it!

9. Pay them no mind and keep doing you.

When you focus on and do you, it frustrates and annoys bullies because you’re focusing on yourself and your goals and not them. Also, you are no longer being subjugated by your bullies, and that really tears them up inside.

Moreover, once things reach this point, they usually give up and go find another target because if something is no longer working, you change tactics. And if nothing seems to work, you run out of fortitude and give up.

Therefore, realize that it’s about self. The key is to stop focusing outward and start focusing inward. In other words, work on yourself. Why? Because, as stated earlier, when you’re too busy working on yourself, your bullies become irrelevant very quickly. As they should.

Realize that the reason bullies act the way that they do is because they have no lives. Moreover, they have no control over their own lives. Therefore, they try to take control over yours. Bullies truly are the most miserable of humans on earth. And once you realize this proven fact, they will no longer be an issue.

This is how you beat bullies at their own game!

This post was all about beating bullies at their own game so that you can finally take back your peace and therefore, control over your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

bullies

Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

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You’ve probably asked this question many times. Why do bullies bully? Here are the most common reasons people try to dominate others and what you can do to take the wind out of their sails.

why do bullies bully

Bullies can reek havoc in the lives of their victims. If you’re a victim and have been for any length of time, you’ve probably asked this question a million times.

In this post, you will learn the answers to your question, “Why do bullies bully?” Moreover, you’ll learn why they refuse to leave you alone.

Once you learn these answers, you will no longer be confused. Moreover, you will feel better about yourself, knowing that the issue isn’t you, it’s them.

This post is all about the question that nags you day and night, “Why do bullies bully?” and gives you all the answers you need to know.

Why Do Bullies Bully?

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these very legitimate questions a million times over.

“These bullies despise me so much. So, why don’t they just get a life and leave me alone?”

“If they think that I’m such a bad person, why don’t they just let me go?”

“Why don’t they just drop me completely, go on about their business and let me go on about mine?”

“If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”

“My bullies hate me so much. So,wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they (figuratively) just stayed in their corner of the room and let me stay in mine? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?

“If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why even bother? Why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”

“For what logical reason would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”

“Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem- they stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

As much as I hate to break it to you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace if they have selected you to be their target.

Why do bullies bully? Here’s why:

1. to dominate and subjugate

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone.

You just happen to be the easiest target for them. In other words, you are the person they have in their sights. Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you and to hold you down and oppress you.

2. It’s the only way they find meaning in their lives.

Their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

In other words, outside of trying to control and keeping a tight grip on the lives of others (you), abusers can’t find meaning in their lives, nor any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Understand that these types of people have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. Moreover, the vast majority are life-losers disguised as winners and cloaked with false perfection.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find their meaning- which is their sense of effectiveness and self-worth, is by using force and riding roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your abusers just left you alone, they would have nothing else because there is nothing left out there for them.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of the environments they take over, make toxic, and rule with iron fists, they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

Why Do Bullies Bully?

On the other hand, their targets and others who are normal and have healthy mentalities don’t have to bully others. They don’t need to find meaning in their lives because they already have it outside the bullying environment.

These people find meaning through unity and togetherness with their families, their friends, their churches, homes, or through their love and pursuit of their talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, people who like to harass don’t have these things to fall back on.

3. They are addicted to power.

Understand that human predators must have targets (victims). In fact, they need targets- people who they can oppress and subjugate.  In other words, they need people they can order around and tell what to do because it gives them a power rush.

And power is addictive.

Take the target out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist.

Put another way, if one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t rule over no one.  You’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom because for a kingdom to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

It would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

4. Why do bullies bully?

To Re-Enforce their power.

Here’s another thing to consider: if you’re a target of bullying, the mere fact that you want to get away from your abusers- that you want to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person will enrage them.

Why? Because they can’t live without power and domination.

Therefore, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with reckless anger. Moreover, your harassers will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Why? Because when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

For example, the same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. He goes into a rage and loses control.

And not because he’s loses her but because he loses power over her. Bullies are no different.

Therefore, their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Put simpler, they desire to, in a sense, hold you hostage.

Remember that bullying is abuse, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse. And abuse is about power.

In other words, they are one and the same, so, they’re both about power.

Therefore, your harassers will never allow you to live in peace. And the reason they won’t leave you alone is because to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

5. Why do bullies bully?

They enjoy it.

It’s true. They get enjoyment and fulfillment out of harassing and abusing others. Therefore, you must realize that these types of people are sadistic in nature.

In other words, they get pleasure from your pain. Believe it or not, such people do exist and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6. For Increased Social Status

Bullying is not only used to maintain power and control over the target. It is also used as a vehicle to achieve higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bully can increase his social standing, while reducing yours.

In other words, for many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have the former.

On the other hand, if the aggressor does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

However, this is not a healthy way to achieve social status. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement. For example,  joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Understand that these types of people are the talent-less, the lazy, and the incompetent. Again, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these individuals exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

7. To Tighten bonds in Their group.

Not even love, respect, or friendship unite people as much as the shared hatred of something or someone. Moreover, there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have an entourage around them.

You will never see these types of people alone because the thought of being on their own scares them to death. The group is their power.

Also, the stronger the solidarity, the less likely it is of the group disbanding. Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

As the target, you provide your bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you, the group is weak; things get boring real fast, and it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

Of course, these 7 aren’t the only reasons. There are a few more reasons people engage in this atrocious behavior. But that’s in another post.

This post was all about the Answers to the question, “Why do bullies bully?” to relieve any confusion you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Why Fake Friends Stick Around: 6 Must-Know Reasons

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Do you want to know why fake friends stick around even though they can’t stand you? You’ve probably wondered that if they despise you so much, why they don’t just go away and have nothing more to do with you. Here are several motives that keep them coming.

why fake friends stick around

Fake friends secretly either don’t like you. They may even hate you and wish you nothing but harm and bad fortune. Yet, they continue hang around like a bad odor.

If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why they do this. As someone who’s been there and discovered the answers, I’m giving you all the must-know reasons to relieve you of any confusion you might have.

In this post, you will learn why fake friends stick around. You will get these answers in detail so that you can understand more clearly and take steps to protect yourself.

Once you learn about all their motives and intentions, you will then have the courage to stand up to these imposters and send them packing once and for all. Moreover, you will take back your dignity and peace of mind.

This post is all about the reasons why fake friends stick around. The purpose of this post is to give you the courage to ditch these imposters and take back your peace.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

Everyone has fake friends. These are the people who only pretend to like them but secretly wish them harm and bad luck. Moreover, this individuals desire to be in our circle and get close to us. But why?

If they hate us so much, why would they continue to hang around? Why do they seem to want to stay right under us all the time? It’s like these people want to literally attach themselves to us and never let go! Yikes!

These are the people who slither their way into our lives only to end up betraying us later.

Here are the reasons why fake friends stick around:

1. To watch you closely.

You may not realize it, but these people have a strategy. Therefore, they do this deliberately to achieve their own evil ends.

Therefore, fake friends stick around to study your movements and patterns. They want to learn your routine. Why? So they can better predict any reactions and what your next move is likely to be.

Understand that to learn an enemy’s patterns is to collect intel on them that can be weaponized later.

For example, undercover cops infiltrate drug rings so that they bust them and take them down later. Fake friends are no different.

If you’ve ever read the book, “The Art of War” by Sun Tzu, you know that the most fundamental rule is to “Know your enemy.”

2. To win your trust.

They know that if you let down your guard and trust them, the more likely you are to let them in on your problems and deepest, darkest secrets.

Also, when you trust someone, you’re more likely to feel more comfortable making simple, human mistakes. Also, you’ll and show your less than desirable emotions around them.  And why not? If the person is a friend, they’re least likely to judge you.

In other words, this person will watch the target closely, then establish good rapport with them. Then develop a close friendship with them to lower any apprehension the person might have had in the initial stages.

On the other hand, if the person is a fake friend, you unwittingly give them fodder and ammunition to use against you later.

3. Why Fake Friends Stick Around: To watch you fail.

Everyone experiences failure at some point. And your fake friends want nothing more than to be around to see it when you do fail at something.

They can then smile inside and get the satisfaction and gratification they’ve been looking for.

However, if you ever succeed at something, especially if it’s something big, you will see their true colors come shining through.

For example, if you accomplish something huge, like making the NYT Bestseller list or winning the lottery, watch the masks fall off. These posers will suddenly give you the cold shoulder. They may even lash out at you, accusing you of thinking you’re better than everyone else.

Also, they might accuse you of having connections who helped you reach success, or worse! Cheating your way to victory!

It will hurt, don’t get me wrong. But you’ll know exactly who these people are and you’ll know what to do with this trash.

4. They want to know your desires, plans, goals, and dreams.

Why? Because if they know what they are, they know where to sabotage you and gain a sense of power over your life.

Understand that any time you’re bullied, it isn’t so much the bullies who are the most harmful to you. It’s the betrayal of those you thought were your friends.

That’s what hurts the most and can be devastating.

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Moreover, what makes this so crushing is the knowing the person duped you into handing over your trust.

You not only feel violated, you feel like a complete idiot for allowing the person into your life, to begin with. It’s the worst feeling in the world. Feeling that you, in a sense, allowed it to happen.

5. Why Fake Friends Stick Around is To feel superior.

Think about it. By continuing to put up with fake friends, you’ve lowered your standards and they know it.

Understand that, in a fake friendship, the entire friend relationship is based on conditions. Also, these types of friendships are one-sided. It’s about what you can do for them.

Therefore, they’re getting all the benefits of the friendship and you’re getting zero! To continue clinging to this type of friendship suggests to the other person that you’re inferior.

Also, it means that you’re so desperate for friends that you’ll willing to eat shit just to keep from being alone.

And you’ve got to admit. It’s pathetic! Therefore, stop doing things that are beneath you and holding on to friendships that aren’t good for you.

Know that you’re better than that. And you deserve much better!

Again, remember that for them to be superior requires you to be inferior.

6. You convenience them somehow.

Many fake friends continue to hang around because of the conveniences you bring to the friendship. For example, you let your friend girl barrow your favorite sweater only for her not to return it.

Another example would be that you help them move their things when they get kicked out of their apartment for failure to pay rent. However, when you have to move because of a bad break-up or divorce, they never show up.

However, once you figure this person out, it’s GAME OVER!

Now’s the time to cut off any benefits this creep may have gotten from you and end the friendship right then and there.

So, how do you weed these fakes out before they get the chance to betray you?

Here’s how:

1. Be yourself.

When you are your true, authentic self, you only naturally drive away the fakers. These are people who don’t need to be in your life in the first place. This is a good thing because they would only harm you later.

Better to rid yourself of them now rather than to wait until you establish a connection and get close to them.

Why? Because once you’re close to someone, you naturally give them the benefit of a doubt.  Also, it’s much harder to believe they would ever hurt you. Even worse, even more difficult to have the courage to show them the nearest exit.

Therefore, it’s better to weed them out now and save yourself that heartache.

Why Fake Friends Stick Around

2. Voice your opinions.

This is more important to do today, than ever! Most people nowadays tend to get abusive and bent out of shape when they find out that you don’t have the same opinions, beliefs or convictions as they do.

So, do you want and let people see the real, authentic you. If people around you don’t respect your rights to be a separate individual with an independent mind, that’s your clue to ditch and switch!

It’s true that we should always respect the opinions of others, even though we don’t always agree with them. However, many don’t live by that virtue these days.

Therefore, when people resort to ad hominem attacks when you don’t agree with their views, they only reveal their own evil intolerance.

Realize that when you’re authentic, you force people to reveal their true natures and tell you all you need to know about them.

And this is how you weed out all the fakes and attract the people who truly value you and who deserve the privilege of being in your life! In cases like this, you don’t lose friends, you lose frauds!

Always remember that!

This post was all about the reasons why fake friends stick around to embolden you to ditch them, raise your standards, and choose people who are real friends.

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5 Reasons You Have Haters

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“Want to know 5 reasons you have haters? Here are the most common reasons why haters are always nipping at your heels. (Psst! It’s not you. It’s them.)

5 reasons you have haters

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you score a win. Even the greatest have haters. Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be. It depends on how you look at it and how you use it.

In this post, you will learn the 5 reasons you have haters and why it can actually be a good thing.

Once you learn all about these nasty people and the real reasons they pray for your fall, you will feel so much better about yourself. Moreover, your loathers will no longer be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even come to enjoy watching their childishness to some degree.

This post is about the 5 reasons you have haters and why they aren’t as intimidating as you might think.

5 Reasons You have Haters

Many of the greatest, most tender-hearted, and level-headed people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. And many of them don’t understand why.

Moreover, down through the years, many of theses people have stopped and asked, “What did I ever do to them?” or “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, what is it that they (the haters) think is wrong with me?”

I’ve got to admit it. I asked the same questions many times when I was young and it happened to me. But here’s a little assurance.

First, if you are one of those good people who certain others hate on, it’s normal to ask the same questions and wonder why.

Secondly, let me tell you: You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong.

Thirdly, what they think is wrong with you doesn’t matter. Moreover, what they think period doesn’t matter.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. In other words, I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are.

I know what you’re likely to say next and you’re probably thinking it now: “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me so much.”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

1. They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on others. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mommy’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. In fact, they’d go out of their way to keep that hidden because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it any place else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life and the only entertainment and rush of endorphins they can get is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives. And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin other people’s lives.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today, and many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a nice home, good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be happy, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one. T

here are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, this person is a miserable individual and you shouldn’t hate them back, you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want, yet they get outraged at those who work hard and who end up achieving the things they (the haters) are wishing for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters either don’t want to work for what they want. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, it’s just that life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it and if you do, you have the choice to not care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have.  Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look. They don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have, or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but just feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition.

And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Therefore, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. In fact, you are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds because if they can’t have the very thing that they want that you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to balance and even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it, because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

This post was all about the 5 reasons you have haters. It’s purpose is to make you feel better about having them because, if you have the power to make someone hate you without cause, then you’ve got some kind of power!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

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Would you like to know if you fall into the category of easy targets for bullies so that you can better protect yourself?

easy targets for bullies

There are six groups of people who make easy targets for bullies, and bullies, who are cowards of the lowest of scum, take full advantage.

These groups of people suffer the highest rates of bullying. They are the most persecuted. This is why it is so important that we, as decent human beings, look out for them and protect them.

You will learn all about who are on the list of easy targets for bullies.

Once you learn this information, you will better be able to be a champion for these people and they will have people like you to protect them when they cannot protect themselves.

This post is all about the seven groups that are easy targets for bullies and how you can be a voice for people in these persecuted groups.

easy targets for bullies

There are many groups of people people make objects of bullying. People who are just different. It doesn’t matter what that difference is. It’s human nature to want sameness. However, sameness gets boring fast.

For example, most people love pizza. It doesn’t mean they want to eat it every day of their lives.

So, which groups of people are the most likely targets of bullies? Here are your answers:

1. people who look different

They could be fat, thin, short, or extremely tall. It could be that they have an unusually large nose or ears. Maybe they have freckles or none at all.

Moreover, people with eyeglasses or braces may suffer bullying as well. However, someone with a cast on one of their legs may also endure it as would someone in a wheelchair.

The point is that bullies will pick out something visibly different about the person, then run with it. This only evidences the ignorance that bullies have.

However, bullies don’t target all obese or skinny people. Bullies only like to pick out a victim, then make life hard on them. It’s just want bullies do.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to see these bullies for what they truly are, ignorant morons with nothing better to do than to make other’s lives miserable. But, why do they do this?

They do it because of boredom or they live pretty miserable lives themselves. The only way bullies can feel better about themselves is to make others feel bad. They are pathetic souls we should pity.

2. Easy targets for Bullies: special needs people and those with disabilities

But why? Because, sadly, these particular targets are the most vulnerable and least valued in most schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

Furthermore, they are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that nine times out of ten, the rest of society and even members of authority do not see these innocent individuals as human beings.

Not only kids in school, but adult bullies in the workplace will also target employees with disabilities.

Should it be any wonder bullies prey on sped students and disabled adults the most? It’s because bullies are great big cowards and all too often, the disabled are unwilling or unable to defend themselves properly.

Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from and bullies can exploit this at will.

For example, I cannot count the times during school, that I saw a bully go up to a sped student. They would snatch something away from them to get a little free entertainment.

Then, as soon as the child started crying or screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!” and give the item back as soon as they got the desired reaction out of the poor kid.

In the workplace, I’ve seen many adult bullies harass and attack fellow employees who were disabled. Those were the employees I stuck up for. Many times, I’d make myself a target at work just by speaking up for a disabled employee.

Even worse, I’ve also heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program. Again, these were teachers. Teachers!

Even teachers aren’t above bullying sped students.

I also witnessed it firsthand during high school when a sped girl in the lunch line just a few heads in front of me was laughed at and mocked by a group of cliquey teachers. Mind you. These women were supposed to be adults!

These cruel educators would look down their noses at this child and openly ridicule her, making her the butt of their jokes.

Moreover, I also heard the mean-spirited comments. The teachers remarked about how this poor girl would never find a job nor contribute anything to society. They concluded that she would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once she got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. I knew to keep my mouth shut because- well, these bullies were teachers.

 I was also thankful that those cackling old shrews weren’t spewing any of their venomous wisecracks on me. Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Every school has those types of teachers and staff and they are usually the ones who not only mistreat the lunch ladies, custodians, and teachers who aren’t members of their little circle, they also mistreat sped students and sped teachers. And it’s a crying shame!

3. imaginative and creative people

This group is easy targets for bullies due to their vivid imaginations and creativity, which, by the way, isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a very good thing.

However, bullies hate imagination because they don’t have one and are jealous of anyone who does. Therefore, if you are creative and have an exceptional imagination, be prepared for bullies to attack your dreams and ambitions.

Just know that they do it out of jealousy. This should definitely make you feel better about yourself and encourage you to follow your dreams no matter what they tell you.

4. easy targets for bullies: people who are emotional

Understand that bullies are on the hunt for your reaction when they attack you, and, it’s the reason they do it. If bullies can get an emotional reaction from you, it only fuels their ego.

Therefore, you must keep your emotions in check and never give them the satisfaction.

You must realize that bullies bully you to get control of you. Moreover, when bullies can control a person, it gives them a huge rush of power and don’t think they will ever give that up.

This is why you must see your bullies exactly for what they are. And, what they are is a bunch of pathetic, cowardly, punks. Think about it, most people get their feel good from their talents or their hobbies. Some get it from togetherness with family and close friends.

These are the things that give most people meaning in their lives.

Bullies don’t have talents or hobbies. Moreover, they probably have dysfunctional families and friends who really don’t add much to their lives.

In fact, bullies have no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Therefore, their lives don’t have meaning. So, what’s left?

Attacking others and making them miserable is the only thing bullies have left. Therefore, in order to feel good about themselves, they must make someone else feel bad.

That alone should give your self-esteem a huge boost. So, don’t feel bad when bullies come for you and don’t get emotional. Realize that your bullies probably don’t have much going for them and this is their last-ditch effort to find one crumb of meaning to their miserable lives.

Then, be thankful that you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such measures. You’re a winner and you should know it.

5. People who are loners

Bullies love to target loners. Why? Because these are people who don’t have many friends. Moreover, no friends equals lack of support, which makes bullies even more emboldened to bully the person.

Remember that bullies are great big cowards. They will never bully those with numerous friends because they know that there will be people who will stand up for them. Therefore, loners are one of the easiest targets.

Also, most bullies run in packs. They always have an entourage of followers behind them to back them up. You see? Bullies never bully alone. They always do it in groups just in case the victim happens to be someone who isn’t afraid to fight back.

Bullies can do nothing on their own. Again, this fact should make you feel better about yourself because you aren’t afraid to stand alone. You can take care of yourself and that’s a great quality to have.

6. people who have low self-esteem

Bullies know that if someone has low self-esteem, they don’t like themselves very much. Therefore, they are least likely to stand up for themselves when attacked.

If you are one of these people, you must find ways to boost your self-esteem and see the value you bring to this world. Once you see your worth, you will no longer put up with those who make you feel bad and you won’t be afraid to either ditch them or defend yourself.

this post was all about categories of people who are easy targets for bullies to help you know what to fix in yourself and what to be proud of. It also helps you to know which people you should be helping.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Ways to Know the Difference

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

important facts about bullying

Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

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Would You like to know the Most Important facts about bullying? Remembering these truths will help you gather the courage you need to stand up to your bullies and bravely defend yourself against them.

important facts about bullying

There are 3 most important facts about bullying that you must learn if you want the courage to stand up to your bullies.  This can be very difficult, if not terrifying. However, it is an absolute must if you don’t want to waste years tiptoeing around your bullies only for them to keep coming back for you.  These essential truths are those I had to realize before I could muster the courage to stand up to my bullies and finally put a stop to the years-long nightmare I was living in.

Therefore, as a former target and eventual overcomer of bullying myself, I am writing this post to give you the 3 most important facts you must remember about bullies.

Once you learn these truths and keep them in the back of your mind, you will then be well prepared and able to stand your ground and defend yourself much more effectively.

This post is all about the 3 most important facts about bullying, which are truths that every victim of bullying should know.

Here are 3 Important facts about bullying:

1. You can never appease a bully.

Never! No matter what you do to satisfy the bullies and no matter how many times you tell them what they want to hear. You may submit to them and yes, they may go away and leave you alone for the time being. However, understand that the small reprieve bullies give you will always, ALWAYS… be very short lived.

It is because your submission has always worked and given your bullies what they want from you. In your submission, whether it’s telling the bullies what they want to hear, letting them cheat off you during an exam, or allowing them to take credit for your idea, you are rewarding their behavior.

Therefore, anytime bullies get rewards from bullying you, they will always come back for more. And the same goes whether you endure bullying in school, the workplace, or in your community.

Also, your bullies get instant psychological rewards just from your having to constantly creep and tiptoe around them. Why? Because it gives them a sense of power and domination. Realize that bullies are all about power… raw power! And they will never give that up. Not without a fight!

You can never submit your way out of being abused.

I cannot stress this enough. Again, you can never appease a bully. Any attempts to do so will only do the opposite of what you want. Trying to appease a bully only makes you appear weak to them. It then emboldens them to come back for more later because it is the very thing that has been working for them all along!

Consequently, you will spend years jumping through hoops and wondering when your bullies will be back in your face again. This is no way to live, and life is too short to waste one second being an emotional slave to someone else.

You must understand that eventually, you will need to take a hard stand before they will finally leave you alone for good. The last thing you want is to spend the rest of your life being someone else’s doormat.

there’s a reason why this is number one of the most important facts about bullying.

In other words, the only way to permanently deter your bullies is to get tired of it and confront them head-on when they come for you. Speak out against them, to their faces, if need be, and when you say what you must say to them, say it bluntly and mean it! Then, if they respond with physical threats and violence, be ready to hit back and defend yourself.

Sometimes it takes a final showdown before your bullies will finally give you the respect you deserve and go find another target to bully. Think of the movie “Tombstone.”

A band of bullies had terrorized an entire boom town and, in the process, killed one Earp brother and wounded another. Afterwards, Wyatt Earp and his buddies made their final stand, hunting down each member of the Cowboys gang and all but eradicating them, which caused them to eventually disband.

This is not to say that you should go hunt your bullies down, but you get the point.

2. The Second of the most Important Facts About Bullying is That Bullies thrive on your fear of retaliation and further harm.

Know that your fear of retaliation and suffering further harm is understandable because it is a natural human response to danger. So, in no way am I blaming you for it.

However, you must realize that your bullies thrive on your perfectly normal fear response, and they will exploit it every chance they get! And why not?

Your fear has thus far gotten them what they want from you. It has rewarded your bullies both psychologically and, more than likely, materially. So, why would they stop now or ever for that matter?

Understand that rewards feel good! And if it feels good, humans want more and more of it! So, again, why would your bullies stop trying to get more of it? Moreover, why would they stop doing the very things to you that they’ve been doing that have, time and time again, proved to be successful?

Human nature only dictates that your bullies will always come back for more rewards! And they will return to the source of the rewards (you) and repeat the same methods by which they have been successful in attaining these rewards.

For example, if a prospector finds a goldmine loaded with gold and there’s nothing to stop him from stealing it, he’s not going to stop mining for it just because there’s more gold in it than he can carry. No. He’s going to return to the mine later to get more gold. Consequently, if there’s no barrier to stop him, he will keep going back for more until there’s no more gold left in the mine.

if there’s more free gold in the mine, why not go back for it?

People are greedy like that, and bullies are no exception to this rule when it comes to power. You are the goldmine, and your personal power is the gold the bullies keep coming for more and more of. And, each time they return, they will chip away more and more of your self-esteem to get that gold.

Therefore, the trick here is to stop supplying “the gold.” Stop rewarding their behavior and set boundaries! Remember that mine owners usually had armed guards posted to keep it from being robbed by greedy prospectors. The guards are the boundaries for the mine. They protect the mine by keeping the robbers out.

Also, nations have boundaries to keep out foreign invaders. And people should have them as well to ward off others who would otherwise use and abuse them.

In most cases, realizing these truths will make you angry. Then, you will grow so sick of being crapped on that you get angry with yourself for having allowed them to abuse you for so long. Also, you will reach the point where you stop caring how the bullies respond.

In other words, you will be willing to face the possibility of getting beat within an inch of your life, but you won’t care anymore. Damn the consequences!

Your attitude will be, “They may whip me, but I’ll go down swinging and get a few good licks in! I’ll leave a few marks on them and they’ll know I’ve been there!”

You will be so furious that you’ll flatly refuse to live in fear any longer, come what may.

3. Bullies only understand strength and power. They do not understand reason, diplomacy, nor politeness.

You cannot handle bullies with kid gloves. In other words, there are no nice or polite ways to handle them or to set boundaries. Bullies only see niceties, pleasantries, and politeness as weaknesses to exploit and manipulate.

Also, you can never reason with bullies. Bullies only perceive any form of diplomacy and reasoning to be signs of weakness or worse, ploys to manipulate them.

Therefore, you must communicate with your bullies in the only language they understand. You must meet them exactly where they are. When you set your boundaries, you must do it firmly and bluntly. And mean it!

You cannot just set boundaries and expect your bullies to respect them. You must also enforce those boundaries with consequences because bullies will see this as a challenge. And you can best believe they will rise to that challenge.

In other words, they will violate your newly established boundaries just to dare you and to prove to you that they can. And when you do, make sure that the consequences are severe enough to make them stop! The consequences must be so severe that your bullies won’t even want to look in your direction again, much less mess with you.

You must speak from a position of power and strength.

To put it figuratively, unleash hellfire and put the fear of God in them! Think Hiroshima and Nagasaki after the Pearl Harbor attack. Japan never attacked us again afterwards. We eventually won their respect, and they became one of our closest friends. And we continue to be friends with Japan today.

Here it is, in a nutshell. When you’re dealing with bullies, it’s either put up or shut up.

Again, you must realize these truths before you reach your limit and decide to finish it once and for all. Also, the bullying you suffer may get worse before it gets better. Why? Because bullies always fight the hardest when they know they’re losing their power over you.

Therefore, don’t give up. Stick to your guns. And know that eventually, after you severely school, beat, and humiliate your bullies enough times, they will eventually get the message, give up and go find another chump to jerk around.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

This post was all about the most Important facts about bullying. knowing these truths will help you be more knowledgeable so that you don’t waste any more time spinning your wheels for nothing.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

reasons why people bully

Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

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Are you a victim of bullying who has been desperately trying to figure out the reasons why people bully? The first step to overcoming bullying is to know your enemy. Listed below are the 7 most common reasons.

reasons why people bully

Bullies are unpredictable and if people are bullying you, you probably don’t understand the reasons why people bully. As someone who has experienced bullying and has researched it for several years. I’m giving you the answers you’ve been looking for.

Therefore, you will learn the most common reasons why people bully, whether it’s insecurity, or jealousy, or other motives.

After learning about all of these most common reasons, you will be able to better prepare yourself for the next time your bullies approach you.

This post is all about the most common reasons why people bully that every victim should know.

Most Common Reasons Why People Bully:

1. the desire for Power.

Bullying is all about power, domination, and control. Bullies get a massive rush of power at your expense. Moreover, power is addictive. It is like a drug and bullies can never get enough of it. To bullies, bullying is an aphrodisiac, it feels good to them.

You must understand that targeting others to attack and harm is how some people find meaning in their lives. And the power they get through their meaningless lives is in the mistreatment of their victims. Simply put, bullies bully because they enjoy it!

People crave power, fame, notoriety, and influence, even the best of them. But most people can get those through love and through their hobbies, jobs, talent, and creativity. Bullies, on the other hand, don’t have these things going for them. Some might have jobs but aren’t satisfied in their positions. So, they abuse people to gain the desires they can’t gain any other way.

Without victims Bullies Have No Power

Again, bullies either can’t get those benefits any other way, or they can’t get enough of them. So, for them, destroying the lives of their targets is the only power they have.

Moreover, once their victim is no longer available to them because he’s either quit, moved, or committed suicide, the bullies’ drug isn’t there anymore. Therefore, they search for another target to get their next fix because bullies need authority over somebody, anybody.

Understand that this “fix” always wears off, and it wears off quickly. Bullies consistently need another dose, and another and another. If they cannot find another easy target, preferably someone outside their peer group, they will eat their own. In other words, they will turn on one of their friends in their social circle and target them.

Here’s another thing to think about. Bullies usually pick jobs that give them power and a title. They usually aspire to become politicians, teachers, correctional officers, police officers, supervisors, managers, and the like.

2. The most common Reasons Why People Bully include The Need for a Scapegoat

Many bullies need a scapegoat to unload all their own insecurities on. In other words, they need someone to blame for their own faults and to take all their hurts, anger, and frustrations out on. Always remember this. Bullies need victims because they need scapegoats.

Moreover, the use of a scapegoat is nothing new. People have used them for many millennia!

The idea of a scapegoat comes from the Old Testament of the Bible. People gave burnt offerings to cleanse themselves of sin and they would sacrifice a lamb and burn it.

So, when bullies scapegoat their victims, they use the victim as a sacrificial lamb to project all their wrongdoings and imperfections on. Understand that bullies need targets to blame their stupidity and bad behavior on.

Here’s another example:

During the Medieval Period, scapegoats were used by kings to make sure the monarch’s hands stayed clean- or, more appropriately, looked clean.

Back then, it was common practice to blame and execute scapegoats for the wrongdoings of kings. Blaming them, then putting them to death kept the scapegoats quiet and the kings unquestioned, above reproach, and looking good. Bullies do the same today, only in different ways.

Furthermore, bullying and scapegoating go hand in hand. The purpose of scapegoating is for bullies to project blame and continue to appear as good, upstanding people.

Put simpler, bullies force another person to accept blame for sins of which they, themselves, are guilty so that they can go on living in blissful denial. Sadly, the person blamed is often innocent, has the least power, and is least likely to fight back. The person is then punished and sacrificed.

Remember that bullies are cowards. If you’re a victim or target of bullying, this is a way bullies can avoid any accountability and live in the safely of denial while continuing their evil deeds, causing harm to others.

3. The Desire for Social Status.

The reasons why people bully often include the desire for social status. And usually, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the social status of the bully skyrockets, while that of the target plummets.

For many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have those things.

Bullies who are poor will often bully you out of insecurity and the social status they achieve from it is compensation for the money and material things they don’t have. On the other hand, if the bully does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

Bullies Who are Poor are Known for These Tactics

However, most bullies aren’t affluent. Therefore, the only way they can achieve social status is by demeaning others and exploiting their mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings. In other words, bullies will take the tiniest mistake, add to it, and make it bigger.

In short, they increase their social ranking by decreasing yours.

But remember this. Bullying is not a healthy way to move up the social hierarchy. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement, such as joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Sadly, the world is, by default, quick to blame a person for any negative qualities or actions while slow to forgive or to give credit for good deeds. Bullies instinctively know this and take full advantage of it.

However, again, you must understand that people who rely on their ability to bully others out of existence to achieve social gain can never achieve it any other way. It’s the only way these bullies can have power.

4. Group Cohesion and Unity Are One of The Reasons Why People Bully

It’s no secret that bullies usually bully in packs.

Therefore, bullies garner support from others who are just like them and who share the same values and opinions. After all, bullying is most effective in group situations, where people unite to serve a certain objective. Bullies never work alone. They always have backers.

There is strength in numbers. Group bullying not only gives talentless bullies a sense of belonging, but it also tightens the bonds among members of the group.

Furthermore, this collective bullying gives them more anonymity. Also, in a group bullies are more successful in bringing the target down than if the bullies worked alone.

This usually requires that the bullying group have a hated enemy (you) that they can unite against.

In Robert Greene’s book entitled, “The Laws of Human Nature,” I once read that everyone needs a hated enemy and that there’s a positive side to having one. I’ve found that with packs of bullies, this is true.

Bullies in groups need an enemy, whether real or imagined, that they can band together and fight against. They need an “us-versus-them” object. Why? Because the presence of an enemy has always served to strengthen group cohesion and unite and tighten members. Groups reflexively focus on their hated target as a means for further solidarity.

You, the victim provide the bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you as their victim, their group is weak and things get boring fast.

Therefore, once you leave the scene and move on to a better environment, it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

However, know this. These types of people are the talentless, the lazy, the insignificant, and the incompetent. They have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these bullies exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

5. To Seek Attention.

Bullies will bully just to get attention. They not only want attention from you, but more than likely, they want attention from bystanders.

In other words, by making you look small, the bully makes themselves look big in the eyes of bystanders who don’t know any better. This goes back to number 3, The Desire for Social Status.

But realize that this is the only way the bully can get the attention he craves. It’s really pathetic when you think about it. This realization alone should give you a confidence boost because you don’t have to resort to such behavior to get attention.

6. one of the common reasons why people bully is also One-Upmanship

One-upmanship is another one of the most common reasons why people bully.

Bullies can’t handle the successes of anyone, especially if it’s achieved by anyone they deem inferior. Realize that a bully’s feelings of power and superiority come by one-upping you, their victim.

Therefore, anytime you succeed at anything, it will undermine your bullies’ sense of superiority.

Realize that your bullies need to be better than you, at everything and when you have a talent you’re exceptional at, it only arouses their jealousy and desire to take you down a few pegs.

So, be prepared for your bullies to look for and find one of your weaknesses and exploit it just to soothe their bruised egos.

Also, look for your bullies will use their social status to one-up you with. Or, if your bullies are athletes and you’re a musician, they may remind you that they’re better at sports than you will ever be.

However, you must know where these tactics come from. Your talents and success are threats to your bullies’ power because they undermine their superiority over you.

7. To Contain Threats.

Bullies always intensify their bullying when you become a threat to them somehow.

For example, you have been bullied by the same people for years and finally decide to break your silence and speak out about it. When you began to call out the bullying and assert your rights not to be abused, you are then a threat to your bullies.

Why? Because you’re exposing their bad deeds before the entire world.

Remember that bullies thrive on the silence of their victims. Once the victim speaks out and provides proof,  the bullies risk exposure. With it, they risk losing face and their social standing in a school, workplace, or community.

Therefore, look for your bullies to use tactics against you, such as lies, gaslighting, smear campaigns, and the like. They may even confront you with an angry tirade.

But realize that your bullies are only operating out of fear and desperation. Fear and desperation renders a person not to think clearly. As a result they end up making stupid mistakes and exposing themselves for who they are.

I’ve seen it happen.

This post was all about the most common reasons why people bully and was written to help you see where the attacks are coming from. seeing behind the behavior helps you better prepare your response so that you can buffer your self-esteem and preserve your confidence.

related posts:

1. A Bully’s Power is Your Lack of Knowledge

2. Bullying for Increased Social Status

3. Why Bullies Need a Hated Enemy to Unite Against

Instantly Expose Bullies

7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

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Instantly Expose Bullies

‘Want to know how to instantly expose bullies for who they are and get your life back? We must learn how to do this effectively if we even hope to regain peace in our lives and reclaim our personal power.

in this post, you will learn 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies.

Fortunately, there are several things you can do to rip the mask off and keep yourself safe. Introducing, 7 secrets to instantly expose bullies and unleash your power. These are things that I learned through trial and error and wish I had known when I was young and enduring bullying myself.

However, know that there will be a certain degree of risk involved. But also know that you take a risk each day by walking outside. Risk is something no one can escape unless they want to live a meaningless life.

  1. Know your enemy.

    How you do this is to stand back and always OBSERVE the people around you, but without looking like you are watching them. Pay close attention to body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. I can’t stress enough the importance of this. This is how you find out who the trouble makers are.

    In other words, if you see another student gossip and make trouble for others, you can be sure that in time, they will do the same to you. This is how I now know who to avoid at all costs. However, be advised that avoidance will not work if you have a determined bully after you. If a person wants to get to you badly enough, they will seek you out until they find you.

  2. Document everything.

    As it has been said, “if it isn’t documented, it never happened”. Keep a journal and write down everything. I did this in junior high and high school just in case one of my bullies either hurt me bad enough to hospitalize me, or worse…killed me.

    Moreover, you must write down the names of your bullies, the names of any bystanders or authority (teachers, principal, or any member of authority) present at the time the altercation took place, the date, time, place it happened, what happened and if possible, why it happened. Also, record what is said and by whom. Document every… single… detail!!

3. Never reveal anything that you wouldn’t want anyone to know.

You’ll be asking for trouble and it’s better to be safe than sorry. You never know when your bullies might turn them against you. And once they do, you can be sure that your former friends will be more than happy to tell all!

4. Keep a low profile.

Don’t do anything that may draw attention to yourself. And stay away from places the bullies may gather. Think, “Out of sight, out of mind.” Just don’t make it obvious to your bullies that you are ducking and dodging them. I avoided several confrontations by simply laying low.

However, if the bullies do seek you out, they will risk exposing themselves because the people who know you and aren’t influenced by the bullies will see what is going on and know they are stalking you.

So, keep that in mind as well.

  1. Save any threatening texts, emails, social media messages or voicemails. 

And if possible, set your cellphone to record during any altercation brought on by a bully, provided it is hidden in your pocket. You certainly do not want the bully to know what you are doing.

Also, keep your composure and be sure not to tarnish the recording by yelling or using foul language. Schools are now becoming more aware of the issue of bullying. If you happen not to have a cellphone, keep a digital recorder handy (if possible) and be ready to record as soon as the torment starts.

  1. Never brag about any evidence you have on your bullies.

Not even to your best friend…PERIOD! Again, bullies have a knack for prying information out of people, even your friends. They can also turn your friends against you, making them more than happy to volunteer the information. Don’t do it! Anytime you are a target of bullies, you are in no position to trust anyone!

  1. Call the bully out in front of an audience. 

This is risky and could bring retaliation. However, the bully will also know that you are on to him/her and you just might intimidate them enough that they will leave you alone. It happened for me on a few occasions. But keep in mind that this doesn’t happen for everyone.

Calling the bully out in front of people can also humiliate the bully and make that person more determined to get you. So access the bully’s personality and the situation carefully before you decide to do this. Also, you could, very slyly, force the bully to expose him/herself. You can learn how, right here.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

7 Powerful Ways to Spy Lies Bullies Tell

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Have you ever wondered if someone was telling the truth (or not)? Before I go any further, it should go without saying that we should only trust bullies as far as we can throw them. In other words, we trust them at our own risk.

However, there are many great actors in the world these days- people we think are friends but are only the opposite. Therefore, sometimes, it’s difficult to spot it when someone is deceiving us.

So, how do we spy the lies? We do it by watching the person’s body language. What are the “tells” that the body gives away when someone is lying? Here are 4 powerful ways to spy lies bullies tell:

  1. The Eyes.

The liar may have shifty eyes, or they may avoid eye-contact altogether.

  1. The Body.

The deceitful person may fidget continuously. He can’t help it!

  1. Voice.

The faker may clear his/her throat.

  1. Vagueness.

The person telling the falsehood may be vague in their story, leaving out crucial details.

  1. pauses (especially after you ask a question).

The person may have to think before speaking. In other words, they have to think up a lie to cover the last lie they told.

  1. The Arms.

The liar may keep his arms still. Stillness is their way of avoiding giving off any tells.

  1. Answering questions.

They always respond to questions with questions. Why? Because they can’t find an answer that sounds good. Or they’re afraid that any answer they give will be another tell.

Understand that, mentally, it takes more work to lie than to tell the truth. People who lie have to study others carefully to make sure they respond the way that they want. Liars worry about how believable their stores sound. Therefore, they must work, and work damn hard, to appear credible to their associates.

Watch the body of the person closely. If you spot one or more of the above signs, you have then, most likely, spied the lie. Also, most importantly, you must document the bullying you suffer and document every instance of it.

And lastly, watch bullies show their true colors when you or someone else calls them on their BS. That will be the most obvious tell!

With knowledge comes empowerment!