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what bullying does to the victim at school

What Bullying Does to the Victim: Top 6 Effects of Bullying

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‘Want to know what bullying does to the victim? Here are the top 3 negative impacts of bullying on victims.

what bullying does to the victim

 

 

 

 

 

 

Bullying can have devastating effects on the victim. Therefore, in this post, you will learn precisely what bullying does to the victim so that you can protect yourself if you ever find yourself in the crosshairs of a bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to shield yourself from the effects of bullying.

This post is all about what bullying does to the victim, so that you can recognize it and find ways to counteract it.

What Bullying Does to the Victim

Bullies will often bully a specific victim for so long that the victim eventually expects maltreatment from all people. If you’re a survivor of bullying, you may no longer get bullied.

Like me, you may have long since regained your confidence and self-esteem. However, you still remember the feelings you had during that time. Only you couldn’t put names to the effects that bullying was having on you.

Here’s what bullying does to victims.

1. It instills a false sense of insecurity in them.

After being bullied for so long, you become fearful. Around people, you clam up, keep your eyes to yourself, and go about your business.

However, it seldom works because bullies are like a pack of pit bulldogs. They can smell fear from a mile away. Therefore, being reserved and staying out of the way tends to attract more bullying.

2. It instills fear and Anxiety.

You continuously apologize for everything. Over-apologizing is the surefire sign of bullying and abuse. Being reserved and the fear of looking people in the eye are also signs.

Understand that you do these things because you’re scared to death. You’ve lost all sense of your worth. Moreover, you are afraid to make decisions on your own.

Why? Because you fear that you’ll make the wrong choices and people will ridicule you for it.

You’re afraid to talk to people. Because you know that, others will bully you no matter what you say. You realize that bullies don’t want you talking. They only want you to stay quiet.

You know that people will accuse you of saying something offensive or foolish. And they’ll persecute you for it. They’re fearful of going out or being seen in public because they might run into the wrong people (bullies).

They’re scared to greet people because they fear being perceived as too friendly. But if they say nothing, they’re often mistaken for being stuck up or standoffish.

What Bullying Does to the Victim:

If you are a victim of bullying and you do any of the above, STOP!

You don’t have to live in obscurity. Living your life in fear is no way to live! It sucks!

It’s a downright miserable existence. And you should flat refuse to keep your head down and clam up to make other people feel better!

I want you to realize that you don’t need permission to exist! You don’t need approval to be yourself.

The day you say, “Screw it! Who cares what those idiots think!” will be the day you get your life back. Things may get worse before they get better.

But it’ll be worth it in the long run. I guarantee it.

3. It gives them negative self-beliefs.

  • “Nobody will ever love me.”
  • “Nothing good can ever happen to me.”
  • “Human beings are predators and love drama.”
  • ”It sucks to be me!”

Those may be your beliefs now. However, I’m living proof that you can overcome low self-esteem.

What Bullying does to the Victim:

Bullying is a form of Brainwashing.

The reason you have these self-defeating beliefs is that bullying is a form of brainwashing. When you have been an object of bullying for so long, you begin seeing yourself through your bullies’ eyes.

In other words, after people tell you for so long that you aren’t good enough, you eventually believe it yourself. And those negative self-beliefs only hold you back.

Why? Because the bullshit those creeps have drummed into your head becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy!

4. It causes Low Self-Worth.

Because bullying is so repetitive, it causes you to think that you don’t deserve to be happy. You become so fearful that you stop taking risks and play it safe.

You settle for far less than what you deserve. And you get even less than what you settled for.

You select friends who are below your level – people you don’t really want to be friends with. You date people you aren’t even remotely attracted to. All because you believe you can’t do any better.

As long as there’s a warm body around, it’s good enough. But realize that you’re not only being unfair to yourself, but also to those you select.

You deserve to be with people you want to be with and who want to be with you. And they deserve to be with people they choose and who choose to be with them.

Never choose to be with someone because you think they’re the only option you have. That’s not fair to you or them.

5. What Bullying Does to the Victim:

It causes Victims to Lose Trust in Humanity.

You develop the mindset that good fortune happens to others, but not to you. Also, you lose faith in humanity. In other words, you start thinking that all people are rotten and take pleasure in harming others.

This only causes you to miss out on what could be wonderful friendships and relationships. As a result, it only reinforces the loneliness and isolation.

This is what bullying does to you. It reprograms your mind and smashes your self-esteem to pieces. And that sometimes takes years to rebuild.

It causes you to do things that you usually wouldn’t do. I say this because it happened to me.

6. Bullying convinces victims to stop practicing self-care.

A little bit of selfishness is okay, even imperative at times! If you’re a victim of bullying, you may have others accuse you of being selfish. And they may do this when you take care of yourself.

Moreover, they may also shame you into believing that anything you do for yourself is wrong. Therefore, you put yourself on the back burner, and everyone else comes first.

However, realize that you do this at your own expense!

You’re afraid to say “no” to people. Why? Because, in the past, people have retaliated against you for daring to set a boundary. In fact, others may have forbade you from setting limits and forced you to “let” others violate you.

This can cause you not to value yourself as a person. That’s why you must stand up to those who have this kind of attitude. And do it no matter how they react.

What Bullying Does to the Victim:

It’s Time to Put Your Foot Down and Say, “No More!”

When you’ve had enough, you’ll know it. And when you finally got mad at the direction your life is headed. you will decide, “No more!”

Get proactive with your life. You deserve happiness just as much as anyone else. You have to be hungry – hungry for positive change.

Take the first step toward empowerment by reading as many personal development books as you can. Then, put the advice from those books into practice.

Realize that reprogramming yourself won’t be easy! But it will be worth it in the end.

Changing destructive thoughts and habits you’ve had for years is hard. It’s damn hard! It takes a lot of hard work and, above all, patience. Why? Because change doesn’t happen overnight.

change isn’t easily made.

Your mind will fight you every step of the way. It will take several years for you to notice a significant difference in your thought patterns.

However, if you stick with it, it will pay off in a big way!

Placing value on yourself and doing the work to better your life is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself. But don’t do it for me and don’t do it to impress your bullies or anyone else. Do it for yourself!

Do it because you’re hungry for change!

You must value yourself, even when it seems that others don’t. Keep fighting even when it appears that you’re losing the battle. Oftentimes, when things look bleakest, your breakthrough is just around the corner.

You don’t have to be a victim. Love yourself and put yourself first, then reach out to only those who reciprocate love to you. Turn a deaf ear to your bullies’ harmful talk. Send the toxic people packing! This is how you can protect yourself from the effects of bullying. In fact, you bully-proof yourself.

Because you’re worth it! And you can do it! I promise you!

This post was all about what bullying does to the victim so that you can recognize the symptoms in yourself and take steps to change your life for the better.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

2. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

5. Bullying and Psychological Effects: 11 Emotions Victims Feel

the guilty conscience meaning

The Guilty Conscience: The Top 4 Ways Bullies Act When You Speak Up

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‘Want to know what the guilty conscience does to bullies? Here are all the ways bullies act when you finally speak out.

the guilty conscience

Have you noticed that whenever you speak out against bullying, the guilty parties always come after you and bark the loudest?

In this post, you will learn all about the guilty conscience and all the ways bullies act when you prick at their conscience by speaking out.

Once you learn all about this vital information, you will know what to expect when you expose their behavior. Even better, you will realize where it comes from when your bullies act out.

This post is all about the guilty conscience, so that you will feel less fearful of speaking out against bullying.

The Guilty Conscience

 Maybe you tell your story of the bullying and abuse that you, yourself, suffered in the past and how you’ve since overcome it.

Then, BOOM! Many haters emerge from the woodwork. They latch on and start screaming, cursing, and accusing you of everything under the sun.

Some of your old bullies may call you ugly names and threaten you. Their families and friends may even come for you on the internet. This happened to me after I published FVTV.

However, I knew where the behavior came from, so it did not faze me. If this has happened to you, realize that their behavior only comes from desperation.

Bullies with Guilty Consciences

The guilty dogs always bark the loudest. They will be the ones who get offended and engage in yelling, cursing, and throwing tantrums.

The very ones who’ve bullied and abused you in the past will come out in droves and attack you. See this as a given.

Additionally, you don’t have to call these people out by name to put them on the defensive. Why? Because knowing that you’re speaking out will make them very afraid. In fact, some will panic.

More than anything, it eats at their conscience! You don’t have to expose them necessarily. All you’ve got to do is say anything that pricks at their sense of guilt, and they go bonkers.

The Guilty Conscience:

you may also trigger People who haven’t met you or had anything to do with what happened to you.

You may also trigger strangers who may not know you or have anything to do with what was done to you. What matters is that you delivered a massive blow to their conscience!

Even worse, you made them feel dirty! And that alone drives people up the wall.

Though they may not necessarily have bullied and abused you, they may have done so to someone else. And hearing you talk about your experiences made you a reminder to them.

You caused them to think of the abuse they have inflicted on others in the past. Ouch!

It’s subconscious. They don’t realize it, and probably couldn’t explain it. All they know is that your story is rubbing them the wrong way and causing them a lot of anxiety.

This is the reason they freak out and flip their wigs.

The behavior of a guilty person is scary.

It’s happened to me. I’ve seen it up close. And believe you me, these folks become downright scary! Because when they lose it, their eyes seem to jump out at you. And they snarl when they yell at you. These people really come unglued!

But you must see their behavior for what it is, a sign of buried guilt. Understand that they are only revealing themselves. They’re ripping their own masks off and don’t realize they’re doing it.

Why would someone get so irate and have a complete meltdown if you weren’t stepping on their toes? If they didn’t feel that somehow, some way, you were talking about them, then why would they fly off the handle?

Really think about it. Pastors of churches often experience this phenomenon. During Sunday service, they’ll preach on a certain subject, then a few church members get angry over it and give him a hard time after the service is over.

My point is that if they knew they weren’t guilty of anything, they’d automatically know that the conversation wasn’t about them. Therefore, they wouldn’t care.

Remember that the people who get offended are the guilty ones. You can bet that they have, at some time, bullied you or another innocent person. Anger is revealing.

The Guilty Conscience:

4 Most Common Things Bullies and Abusers Do When You Finally Speak Out About Their Abuse

When you expose your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. You put them in defense mode, and they will do one, some, or all of four things:

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. They’ll scream and yell at you. Also, they’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult, but don’t panic and don’t be afraid. See it for what it is- you just forced them to reveal their true colors.

Why? Because when your former bullies become enraged and attack you, that’s when you know you’ve busted them. Or, more appropriately, you’ve forced them to bust themselves! So, yay for you!

Remember the warplane analogy. When a warplane is right over the target, that’s when they get the most flack. It’s the same when you call out bullying. The guilty people will attack you the worst.

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They will claim they never bullied or mistreated you.

Also, they may even make subtle hints that you must have “everything misconstrued.” Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is a form of gaslighting. And it reveals a great deal about their character.

3. The Guilty Conscience:

Defame you.

The day you see their bullying and abuse for what it is is the day bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others.

They will tell everyone who will listen what a lowdown piece of garbage you are. They will spread lies and rumors. And they will project their behavior.

But, as difficult as it may be, don’t let it faze you. Realize that they’re panicking. Your bullies are in a mad rush to do some damage control.

Most of the time, your former bullies and abusers will tell others that you’re “cray-cray.” They’ll make it seem that you’re having some mental episode.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

So, always see this as an admission of guilt. And realize that they fear that word about their true nature might get around and cause them to lose face.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared. Understand that this is the best outcome.

Why? Because if they avoid you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again. They know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already circulating.

So, the last thing they want to do is anything that even has a slight possibility of making them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, that much is true. However, they’re making the most brilliant move by simply staying away from you. In fact, they won’t even mention your name.

The Guilty Conscience:

You must still watch out for even those who avoid you.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may stay away long enough for things to cool off.

Moreover, they just might be secretly plotting revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in various ways.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even those who are formerly so, count on your silence. And they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because it places them at risk of losing respect in the community. And there’s a possibility that others will see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies have an image to maintain.

Bullies make everything about appearances. And when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them. So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make statements such as:

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, your bullies may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their goal is to shut you up.

The Guilty Conscience:

Other Goals Your Bullies may have

  • To minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • To make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • To cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations.
  • To minimize any backlash they might receive.

Again, don’t be afraid. Instead, see it as they’re unwittingly revealing themselves and let them do it. Let them launch their personal attacks.

In Closing

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point:

When you speak out about your bullies and their abuse, you force them to explain themselves. Anyone who must explain and justify themselves or their behavior is never in a powerful position.

By forcing your bullies to explain themselves, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a vulnerable and subordinate position.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly strip away their power. Why? Because power never explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

By speaking out, you put your bullies in a weakened and subordinate position.

Therefore, don’t allow them to silence you. Keep speaking out, no matter what they do. Because when you continue to tell your story, you keep them on the defensive. Therefore, they will only continue to out themselves.

This post is all about the guilty conscience so that you can prepare yourself for your bullies’ reactions and know what’s behind them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

2. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

3.  Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

4. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

5. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

definition of bullying at work

Definition of Bullying: Is the Person a Bully or a just an Asshole?

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‘Want to know the definition of bullying. Here’s how to find out if the person mistreating you is a bully or just your common, everyday asshole.

definition of bullying

Sometimes we use the term bullying in situations it doesn’t belong in. Some people are jerks. However, it doesn’t mean they’re bullies.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the definition of bullying so that you will learn the difference between a bully and a jerk.

Once you understand these crucial differences, you will be able to recognize bullying when it occurs and address it effectively.

This post is all about defining bullying so that you can distinguish between bullying and douchebaggery.

Definition of bullying

To distinguish between bullying and everyday incivility, it is essential to understand the definition of bullying. Therefore, here’s a definition provided by the Anti-Bullying Alliance.

“The repetitive, intentional hurting of one person or group by another person or group, where the relationship involves an imbalance of power. Bullying can be physical, verbal, or psychological. It can happen face-to-face or online.”

An altercation must have these four elements before we can call it a bullying incident.

4 Elements of Bullying

There are four elements of bullying. Here they are.

1. Imbalance of power.

Physical Strength

In cases of bullying, the bully often has more power than the victim. If you’re a victim of bullying, the power your bully has over you can be physical strength. Therefore, they use it to instill fear in you and exert control over your life.

Social Status

A bully’s power can also be their social status. For example, a popular bullies may weaponize their popularity. They may use it exclude you or to ruin your reputation and reduce your place in the social hierarchy.

The reason they do this is because they know that because they’re so popular, others will listen to them. Their social status automatically gives them credibility. Therefore, they many spread vicious lies about you.

Why? Because they know that others outside the bullying dynamic will take their word over yours. As a result, they can succeed in destroying your good name.

Definition of Bullying:

Psychological strength

The most seasoned bullies may also have more psychological power. You might tell them off when they try to abuse you. However, your comebacks may have little to no effect on them.

The reason these bullies have nerves of steel is that they have learned to shut off their emotions. Bullies with NPD have no empathy at all, and they rarely show emotion. Therefore, it will be challenging to shame or hurt their feelings. They may hurt inside if you deal them a good comeback, but they’ll hide it. However, most victims aren’t as good at concealing their emotions.

2. Repetition.

Bullying is a repeated behavior that becomes a pattern. Remember that bullying is a form of brainwashing. Therefore, it’s why bullies repeat the same narratives and attacks over and over again.

If you are a target of bullying, you will notice that you hear the same narratives day in and day out. Moreover, your bullies will use the same tactics on you time and time again.

It will be as if your bullies are following an internal script, using the broken record technique.

3. Deliberate Intent to harm.

Another element of bullying is the deliberate intent to harm. The harm can be physical, psychological, emotional, or social. Bullies have a strong desire to hurt and to inflict pain, and for several reasons, depending on the person.

Some bullies inflict harm on their victims as a form of revenge. Perhaps your bully retaliates because you reported them. Some bullies bully out of jealousy. Others may bully you because they secretly enjoy seeing you suffer.

4. Definition of Bullying:

Same Victim

Bullying usually targets the same person repeatedly. Remember that bullying always needs a target. Without the victim, bullying doesn’t exist.

However, bullies won’t choose just any victim. They select the easiest target. Therefore, they will pick the person who easily gets emotional or the individual who is least liked by others.

Bullies may also pick those who are small in size and stature or those with disabilities. Nevertheless, whoever they choose will have some weakness that can be exploited.

Is it bullying or is the person being an asshole?

Because people use the term “bullying” so much, they throw the word around willy-nilly. As a result, they use it in situations that don’t fit its use. What do I mean by this? You may wonder.

What I mean is that many are too quick to stick the “bully” label on anyone who says anything they don’t like. There’s so much confusion about bullying. And people may mistake rudeness for it. They may wrongfully label someone who’s only being a jerk, or voicing an unfavorable opinion.

Therefore, we must define bullying. We also need to clarify what constitutes bullying and what does not. Only then will we be able to distinguish between a bully and an every day douche bag.

The Definition of bullying

Bullying – an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening (https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/)

Not All Bad Behavior IS bullying.

Not all bad behavior is bullying. For example, simple statements that make you uncomfortable are not considered bullying. Here is a list of situations that do not constitute bullying.

  • Disagreements and truthful debates
  • Misunderstandings
  • Stubbornness
  • Incivility and jerky behavior
  • Unfavorable opinions.

Bullying has become a blanket term to describe anyone who is an asshole. Assholes are those who are rude, obnoxious, and opinionated. People are quick to label uncivil jerks and jackasses as bullies. In fact, they call anyone who says, does, or believes anything they disapprove of a bully. This is wrong.

Definition of bullying:

Examples

Suppose a 6’5” tall, muscular knucklehead bumps into you on the street. He says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. Afterwards, you never see the guy again. That’s not bullying.

Is the person an asshole? Absolutely. But he isn’t necessarily a bully.

But what if he deliberately runs into you and shoots his mouth off every time he sees you on the street? What if he made a habit of it by continuing to harass you?

In that case, yes, you could call him a bully. Why? Because he would use his size and height to intimidate you. He’d also repeat the behavior every day. Moreover, he would treat everyone else with respect and dignity while singling you out for abuse. Therefore, all these behaviors point to bullying.

Unfavorable opinions.

For instance, a person is voicing an opinion. When someone asks them what they think of their new next-door neighbor, the person answers. They say, “I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

The person is voicing an unfavorable opinion, yes. However, he still isn’t bullying the new neighbor.

But what if the person continues this behavior for a week, a month, or longer? What if he smears the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood in an attempt to turn everyone against him? Then, yes, they would be bullying the neighbor.

Definition of Bullying:

Debates.

If two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s not bullying even if the argument is heated. Only when one of the arguers resorts to repeatedly calling their opponent names does it turn into bullying. Name-calling is meant to shame someone because they don’t share their beliefs. And the name-calling must go on for a long time, against the same opponent.

To prevent innocent people from being labeled as bullies, we must know what constitutes bullying and what does not. Only then will we be able to apply it to those who genuinely deserve the label.

Bully or Asshole?

Everyone deals with assholes, but not everyone gets bullied. Jerks and disrespect are a regular part of life. Bullying, on the other hand, is not. A jerk’s behavior is hurtful and harmful. Sure. But a bully’s behavior is not only hateful and negative, it’s abusive and repeated.

When is hurtful behavior classified as bullying? How do we distinguish between bullying and disrespect? What is the difference between a jerk and a bully?

When a person is “just being a jerk,” their bad attitude is random, sporadic, and directed at anyone at any time.

On the other hand, when an individual is a bully, their behavior tends to be a pattern. In other words, the ill-treatment becomes a habit and is directed towards one person in particular- you.

Bullying requires a target! It is systematic, deliberate, vicious, and always escalates over time. Bullying involves smear campaigns, witch hunts, and is relentless. Bullying seeks to destroy. It is a campaign with a goal. Therefore, bullying is well-organized.

A jerk is afraid you might want something from him. On the other hand, a bully wants something from you.

This post is all about the definition of bullying so that you can distinguish the Behaviors of Bullies and uncivil Jerks.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Incivility vs Bullying

2.  What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

be careful what you share with people

Be Careful What You Share: 5 Reasons to Guard Your Secrets

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‘Want to know why it’s so important to be careful what you share with people? Here you’ll learn why it’s essential to keep certain aspects of your life private.

be careful what you share

Sharing too much information about your life isn’t only a sign of low self-esteem; it can also cause social trouble for you later. Why? Because there are toxic people out there who would jump at the chance to weaponize this kind of info against you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you should be careful what you share to avoid giving your bullies any fodder to use against you. You will also learn the kinds of things you should keep to yourself.

Once you learn all about these social faux pas and how to correct them, you will be able to protect yourself from bullies and social predators better.

This post is all about why you should be careful what you share and the types of information you should keep quiet about.

Be Careful What You Share

The first step to this rule is knowing what not to share. Here is a list of things you should keep to yourself.

1. Your Goals

Not everyone needs to know your goals. This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying.

Many people trumpet their goals and dreams. They announce their plans without realizing the potential ramifications.

Additionally, if you’re a target of bullying, you have more reasons to keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself and work quietly. Understand that any time you announce your objectives and agendas, you place yourself at risk of being sabotaged.

Realize that your bullies are waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you. And, they would love nothing more than to derail you from your goals.

Be Careful What You Share:

Not everyone wants you to succeed.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. And that includes some of your closest friends.

Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own personal failures and shortcomings. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior to reach success and overshadow them.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win, and when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

It’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! In other words, you force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight! So, understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration. And when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

IF you score a win, your bullies will make you pay for it.

Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you. Your bullies will make all sorts of accusations toward you. They’ll even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back into the shade.

You must see through their behavior. They only do it because their power has been threatened. And when a bully is threatened with losing power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

Therefore, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities. So, how do you handle this?

You handle it by simply staying above it. In other words, don’t react to the bullies’ foolishness. You deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices.

Just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness! Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

In the meantime, work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals and successes. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers.

And the fewer roadblocks you will run into along the way. And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it, and with it, give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

2. Be Careful What you Share with people:

Good News

Good news is another thing bullies hate when it comes from you. Therefore, just to be safe, sometimes, you must keep your good news to yourself.

3. Your Successes

If you’re a victim of bullying, you can be sure that any successes you achieve will incite jealousy. Jealousy often leads to more bullying. Here’s why.

Most bullies believe that they are superior to you. Any time you make an achievement, they will see it as a threat to their power. Therefore, when you share any wins, your bullies will increase their attacks against you.

And they will do it not only to punish you, but also to keep you in your place. Therefore, it isn’t always safe to share your accomplishments.

Moreover, your bullies might convince others that you are bragging. In cases like this, please allow someone else to announce your success instead of doing it yourself.

4. Your Sex Life

This should go without saying. No one wants to hear about what goes on in your bedroom. When you share your sex life with others, you reveal yourself as classless. Also, you attract bullies who are itching to exploit that.

If you are a single female, your bullies may use it to paint you as a “slut,” “whore,” and other labels that attack the feminine virtues.

5. Be Careful What You Share:

Any History of Abuse

Bullies love to victimize people who are already suffering abuse. Why? Because when someone is abused, they are vulnerable. And bullies are cowards who go for the low-hanging fruit.

Remember that, in the animal kingdom, a pack of wolves always target the weakest animal in the herd to attack. Maybe the targeted animal is sick. Or, maybe the animal is wounded. So, wolves will zero in on that animal because they are the easiest prey.

It’s the same with bullies; they usually go after the person they deem the weakest. Therefore, someone who is or has been abused is easy prey. Why? Because victims of abuse typically have low self-esteem.

They’re least likely to defend themselves. Therefore, never tell anyone you were abused in the past unless it is someone you know you can trust.

6. Legal Problems

This is another detail about your life that you should keep to yourself. Even if it is as minor as a traffic ticket, bullies will find a way to exploit it. And your legal issues are none of anyone’s business.

It’s better to keep it private.

7. Be Careful What you Share with people:

Divorces or Breakups

No one needs to know about your divorce or breakup. Bullies will use it as confirmation that you are defective. And most people are judgmental these days.

It’s true that if you’re going through a divorce, it may show up in the local newspaper. However, you don’t have to be the one who announces it. Keep it to yourself.

8. Child custody

This is another thing to keep private, not only for yourself, but for your children as well. Evil people will rejoice over it because evil hates the sanctity of marriage and the beauty of family.

People who are jealous of you will see it as a form of justice. Again, some secrets should remain secrets.

9. Family Issues

This should be a no-brainer. Any problems you have in the family should stay in the family. Bullies will only spread it around and use it as confirmation that there is something wrong with you.

Therefore, don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know.

10. Be Careful what you Share:

Medical Diagnoses

Whether you were diagnosed with cancer or diabetes, no one needs to know except family and close friends. If you have a job, you may need to tell your supervisor and provide proof of your diagnosis.

This is understandable, as you may require time off work for hospitalizations and home recovery. However, many people, especially victims of bullying, may announce their diagnoses. They may do this in hopes of quelling any bullying.

However, it will only exacerbate the bullying. People are vicious these days, and they may rejoice over it. They may also bully you, hoping to make you sicker. Therefore, this is fodder bullies shouldn’t have.

11. Be Careful What You Share with people:

Who you voted for

In the past, people considered this a private matter, and it was understood and respected. It should still be private today. Why? Because today’s political climate is dangerous and, no matter what side of the aisle you are on, revealing your voting choices only invites bullying.

Therefore, keep that to yourself.

12. Your Finances

If nothing else, know this! Whether you are high or low-income, your money and bank account are no one else’s business.

Why? Two reasons. If you are high-income, you will incite envy. You may even bring resentment on yourself. If you are low-income, you will encourage pity, or worse, ridicule.

Therefore, your finances should remain secret!

13. Be Careful What you Share:

The Names of your Family Members

If people target you for bullying, the last thing they need to know is who you are related to. The reason for this is that bullies are known for targeting their victims’ families. Especially today!

Therefore, if you suffer bullying, you must do what you must do to keep your loved ones safe. Don’t reveal their names to anyone.

14. Your Home Address

Unless you want to risk bullies or their henchmen showing up on your doorstep, it’s best not to tell anyone your home address. With the doxxing culture that has washed over the world today, your bullies may find out where you live anyway.

However, you won’t be the one who gave the information to them. And, they will have had to work to get it. If possible, it’s best to keep your street address secret.

15. Your Phone Number

If bullies are targeting you, you don’t want them to have your phone number. Keep it secret and keep down the risk of any threatening and incendiary calls or texts.

5 reasons to guard your secrets

There are good reasons to keep certain parts of your life private. Here are five:

1. Reasons to Be Careful What you Share with people:

Bullies and other toxic people will use it against you.

Any traffic tickets, legal troubles, divorces, or other such negative situations are bully fodder. And bullies will gladly use it to poke holes in your character. The less people know, the better.

2. You might accidentally incite others’ jealousy.

Any good news, such as marriages, births, awards, accomplishments, and accolades, will only incite jealousy. For instance, if you are getting married, you may receive hatred from those who are having a difficult time finding a mate. People who have just experienced a breakup will also spew hatred toward you.

If you are pregnant, other women who want children and have difficulty conceiving will bully you out of jealousy. Women who have a hard time finding a mate will also give you a hard time. So, keep it to yourself until your expanding baby bump announces it for you.

Believe me. When you first discover you’re pregnant, I know how hard it is to keep to yourself. It’s an exciting time, and you can’t wait to share the great news. However, if you are a target of bullying, it’s not always wise. I found this out the hard way when I was expecting my first child.

Envy is an epidemic. Especially nowadays.

3. Be Careful What You Share:

You may lose out on opportunities.

For instance, if you are having legal troubles, you may lose out on job opportunities. Or, if people know about your sex life, you may lose social opportunities. Therefore, some things are better left unsaid.

4. Be Careful What You Share with people:

You may bring about judgment from others.

Any of the above secrets will bring judgment if exposed. And, whether or not they know anything, people will judge you anyway. So, it’s better to avoid making it any easier for them.

5. you may open yourself up to being a crime victim.

If you have a big bank account and you brag to everyone about it, it may reach the ears of criminals and place you in grave danger. Therefore, it’s best not to brag. Period!

This post is all about why you should be careful what you share with people so that you can raise your chances of safety and better avoid bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying 

2. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies 

bullying research introduction

Bullying Research: 5 Reasons to Study and Learn about Bullying

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‘Want to know how bullying research can give you the knowledge to protect yourself psychologically and physically? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying research

Knowing about bullying is the best way to protect yourself from it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the importance of bullying research so that you can read up on it and get the knowledge you need to defend yourself should you find yourself in the crosshairs of a bully.

Once you learn all about these crucial details and why knowing is vital, you will be a more challenging target for bullies, and they will avoid you and select someone who isn’t so knowledgeable.

This post is all about bullying research so that you can better protect yourself against bullies.

Bullying Research

Knowledge is power! Therefore, if you suffer from bullying at school, at work, or anywhere, doing your research on bullying is the first step in defending yourself against it.

Learning about Bullying and the Power Dynamic

I began researching bullying in the early to mid-nineties. The goal was to learn everything there was to know about it.

I wanted to know why people bully and what drives bullies to single out certain people. Also, I was curious about what bullies look for in victims, how bullying affects different people, and what characteristics determine victim selection.

Why? Because it is better to learn from it than to let it traumatize you.

How the Learning Began

During the nineties, I went through countless library books, magazine articles, news columns, anything relating to the subject of bullying. I read about the different personalities of bullies, bystanders, and victims.

I also pored through books and articles about politics, social infrastructures, and the power dynamic.

Also, I consulted my PC and reviewed numerous online articles and essays on the subject. I begin with Tim Field and bullyonline.org, based in the UK.

I remember emailing him with many questions on bullying, and he always replied curiously and promptly. From him, I learned so much.

I was surprised to find that so many others had suffered bullying as well. They were celebrities, musicians, writers, doctors, attorneys, teachers, homemakers, people from all walks of life.

I am saddened that Mr. Field is no longer with us and that his website was taken down. I will be forever grateful to him for sharing his expertise. He was the encouragement I needed to learn more about the subject.

Bullying Research:

Knowledge was the turning point.

In my years of research, I’ve attained a vast wealth of knowledge on bullying. Moreover, this is knowledge which has served me well both professionally and socially.

In my in-depth study of bullies, I have gained so much insight into the minds and personalities of my former classmates and all bullies.

In reading countless testimonies of victims and survivors, I realize that none of it was all in my head. None of it was my fault, as my classmates and a few of my teachers had cruelly forced me to believe.

Bullying is timeless and universal.

Bullying and the tactics used, from whisper campaigns to witch hunts to threats of bodily harm, have gone on since the beginning of time. It’s nothing new.

During the years I was bullied in school, I had tried reporting it. Also, I had tried speaking out only to be ignored, shamed, retaliated against, and blamed for it. But this is also nothing new.

Because no one would listen, I grabbed a pen. I began writing in a daily journal about the daily bullying I suffered at school. Why? Because I needed a record of the abuse in case the bullies at school hurt me so badly that I’d need hospitalization or worse, murder me.

I even had one of my journals taken from me by a teacher in the eighth grade, and I never saw it again. Luckily, I kept a backup hidden at home and didn’t lose anything.

By the time I switched schools during my senior year, I had filled several journals with countless stories. They were those of social aggression, emotional torment, and brutal beatings dished out by my classmates.

Bullying Research:

The Beginnings of the first Memoir

I kept those journals put away in a storage bin for decades because I knew that one day, I would write a book about my experiences. That book, “From Victim to Victor: A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying,” is now published and available.

With knowledge comes power. If you’ve had something terrible happen in your life- something so awful that it deeply affected your life, learn about it instead of agonizing over it.

Instead of being angry over something that happened in the past, learn as much as you can about it. Then use it to protect yourself from any future bullying.

Also, you can use it to help others who are going through the same. I guarantee that it will bring healing, unlike anything you can imagine!

Nothing heals you like taking on adversity and learning from it. You can use it as a weapon against future bullies and to help other victims! Try it! You’ll be glad you did!

your bullies will no longer scare you. They will bore you.

If only your bullies had a clue. If only they knew what sniveling cowards they are. And, if only they realized that some of us are smarter than they think. Bullies don’t realize that some people can see right through them.

They can’t see what some people see behind their pathetic attempts to look bigger, better, and brighter than they really are. Because if they did, they would want to crawl into a hole somewhere and hide.

In their feeble attempts to instill fear in and control others through yelling, screaming, and cursing tirades, they look like basket cases. Through their passive-aggressive dirty looks, scowls, and eye-rolls, bullies don’t look all-powerful. They only look desperate.

Their relentless jockeying for power only gives them the appearance of weakness and desperation, not strength and ambition.

Bullying Research:

IF you do your research, you will learn that Bullies are weak and pathetic.

Their threats toward anyone smaller or weaker only expose their fear. Why? Because they would never risk going toe to toe with someone of equal power. And the sad truth is that bullies know it too.

They use victims to hide from the truth of their insecurities. Bullies hide behind victims like a baby hides behind its mother’s skirt.

Their pitiful attempts to use others as a shield to conceal their flaws make them look exactly as they are. They are fakes, frauds, and impostors.

The bullies’ false bravado only proves that they’re not to be taken seriously. It only evidences their pathetic self-loathing.

Bullying Research:

Realize that you are much better off than your bullies.

Knowing that bullies must expend so much energy to hide their true selves? It will make you scoff at them. And knowing they must work so hard to keep others down only makes you laugh behind their backs.

Why? Because you don’t have to work as they do.

Think about it. Most bullies bully in groups. And they always select one person to bully. Therefore, it takes all of them to try to bring down one person. I’m laughing as I type this.

Most targets are comfortable being themselves. Therefore, you can save your energy to create your own happiness and success. It’s so sad that bullies can’t.

Bullies are pitiful. Why? Because their hatred for you burns them up inside. It eats away at their souls and blocks them from any peace and happiness they might otherwise attain.

So, even as your bullies unleash their vitriol on you, you don’t hate them. Why? Because they’re not worth the energy it takes to hate.

Once you learn what bullying is really about, you’ll only pity your bullies.

You’ll only feel sorry for them. Why? Because you will know that at their very core, they’re miserable human beings. And you will realize that your bullies will never achieve growth and become better people.

You will figure out that behind your bullies’ made-up faces and fancy clothes and hairdos, there’s no substance. There’s no authenticity or anything solid.

You’ll discover that the only thing behind their weak and shaky facades is hot air! Nothingness! Dead space!

Bullying Research:

Seeing Behind the Veil of Perfection

Though your bullies paint themselves as most valuable, they bring nothing to the table. They may glitter and sparkle, but not all that glitters is gold. It’s only fool’s gold.

Bullies tear people down, undermine their creativity, and take credit for their ideas. But only because they aren’t smart enough to be original. They never had an original thought in their entire lives!

If you are a target of bullying, you will be thankful you gained this knowledge.

There are so many other things you will learn about bullies. You will discover that bullies only surround themselves with people just like them. They will attract coattail hitchhikers who are unable to think for themselves. They will draw in wannabes who’ll jump through a thousand hoops to make “the right people” like and favor them.

Your bullies will be magnets for people who are nothing but followers, drones, lackeys, and patsies. In a nutshell, they’re only losers disguised as winners.

You will get free entertainment from your BULLIES’ trash talk.

Bullies will talk so much garbage. But instead of making you feel bad, they’ll only give you free entertainment. Why? Because you will see that talk is cheap and that’s all your bullies can do.

Also, you’ll discover that they’re right about one thing. You are different from them. You’re nothing like any of them. And you will be proud of that!

You’ll be thankful that people like you don’t need lackeys and followers. Why? Because you can improvise, adapt to, and overcome anything. And the best part will be that you have your bullies to thank for that!

Bullying research:

You will make your bullies your motivators.

‘You see? Bullies can teach you how to be inventive. You’re creative because you have to be.

Your bullies can teach you how to get around any roadblock or barrier placed in your path. How? You might ask? They give you plenty of practice!

Your bullies can give you grit. They can give you the strength to weather the storms in life, to stay the course, and to live a better and more rewarding life.

Bullies can make you determined to get what you want out of life. In trying to break you down, they can set you on your path to success. And, without meaning to!

While they stay in their comfort zones and live mediocre lives, you’re willing to endure a little discomfort. Why?

Because you know that’s what it takes to expand your horizons and live an extraordinary life. And you know that it will pay off one day.

While your bullies followed the latest fads and trends, you were developing those of the future.

Bullying Research:

Once you learn about bullies and bullying, you will embrace their hatred of you.

Your bullies may have brought you down, but they won’t keep you down. In the end, you may rise higher than they could ever imagine. And that will be another reason they hate you.

But the fun part is, you will welcome and embrace your bullies’ hatred. This is what happens when you do your research and learn as much about bullying as you can.

You learn why people bully and where the behavior comes from. And you can debunk any myths about bullying. You’ll also understand where their power really comes from and the stuff bullies try to hide.

Then you will realize just how pathetic bullies really are. And, once you do, their games will no longer faze you.

This post was all about bullying research and the power of knowledge to compel you to learn everything you can about bullies and bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims

2. Imbalance of Power in Bullying: 3 Sources of Power for Bullies

3. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

haters gonna hate

Haters: 13 Tactics They Use to Bring You Down

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Haters gonna hate. ‘Want to know the tactics they use to bring you down? Here are all the maneuvers you need to know.

haters

Haters can make life difficult. But what if I told you that having them was a good thing?

In this post, you will learn all about haters and the tactics they use to bring you down.

Once you learn all about these confidence-building details, you will be able to remain calm and cool because it will be easier not to let them faze you.

This post is all about haters, why they’re a great thing to have, and the tactics they use to bring you down so that you can feel good about having them.

Haters

So, what is a hater? Here are two definitions from dictionary.com.

“1. a person who has an intense dislike for another person or thing (often used in combination).”

“2. Informal.  A person who thrives on showing hate toward, criticizing, or belittling other people or things, usually unfairly.”

Anyone can have haters. Even celebrities have them. Therefore, if you feel down because you have them, don’t.

Instead, feel good about it because you must have a lot of power if you can upset someone without provoking them. Your presence alone can rile some people. That’s power!

However, that doesn’t mean you don’t have to watch your back. Here are all the tactics they will use to bring you down and how you can turn the tables on them.

Why DO PEOPLE HATE YOU?

There are many reasons why some people hate. And they don’t need a good reason to do it. I’ve learned from experience that jealousy drives most haters.

For instance, you may have a personality trait that they only wish they had. Maybe you are outgoing, and people like you because of your confidence. It could be that you are brilliant and you excel in school.

Maybe you’re successful on the job. Or you’re attractive. And perhaps you have talents and gifts others wish they had.

Again, when you’re good at anything, you will likely attract haters who will be itching to take you down a peg or two.

So, what are all the tactics these people use?

1. Haters:

Watch you and give you dirty looks

People who hate you will watch you closely. Why? Because they are waiting for you to fail at something. And when you do, they want to see it, then boast about it later.

These kinds of bullies are tired of seeing you succeed. They wait, with bated breath, for your downfall. So, they watch you like a spy watches a foreign operative.

They may also give you dirty looks. But it’s not because there’s anything wrong with you. And it’s not because you’ve done anything wrong. The reason they glare at you so hard is to intimidate you.

How you stand up to this is to mirror the same expression back at them. In other words, return the dirty look. Let them know that they can’t scare you and that you won’t tolerate their behavior.

2. Copy you

Some of them will copy you. They may imitate your clothing style or the way you speak and act. However, understand that they’re only showing you and others who they are – a bunch of posers.

I understand that this may get on your nerves. However, don’t let it get you out of sorts.

Instead, laugh at them. And feel good about it. Why? Because any time someone wants to be like you, it only means they admire you, albeit weirdly.

3. Haters Gonna Hate:

Talk about you behind your back

These idiots will stab you in the back every chance they get. They don’t have the guts to tell you anything to your face. So, they must talk about you to others. And you will be the last to know.

However, don’t let it get to you. And don’t allow it to confuse or bewilder you. Understand that anyone who does this to you unprovoked is usually doing it out of jealousy.

Only they will never tell you. Because to admit that they’re jealous of you would be to realize that they feel inferior to you. And no way will they ever!

4. Launch smear campaigns

These bullies will launch smear campaigns to turn others against you and ruin your reputation. If this happens to you, a few people may indeed turn on you.

However, think of it this way. The people who turn their backs on you were never your friends to begin with. So, see this as your haters weeding out the trash for you.

They’re only saving you the trouble of finding out the hard way and doing it yourself.

5. Provoke arguments with you

When others try to start arguments with you, they’re itching for a fight. And it may bewilder you, especially if you haven’t done anything to them.

You must understand the reason they do this. Many bullies will do this to try to drag you down to their level. Therefore, stay above it.

How you stay above the pettiness is not to react, but respond. And do it in as few words as possible. For example, you can say, “I’m not having this conversation with you.” Then, walk away.

By doing this, you will make them look weak and yourself look strong.

6. Haters:

try to sabotage your progress

Bullies at work may try to sabotage you when they see that you’re a competent employee. The reason they do this is to make you look bad to your bosses and coworkers.

Workplace bullies may also point out any tiny mistake you make. Again, this is all designed to undermine your work and make you look like you don’t know what you’re doing.

How you stand up to this is to call out their jealousy professionally. For example, you could say, “Listen, (bully’s name). No one is trying to compete with you. So, there’s no need for you to act this way. It’s not very professional.”

When you say this, you diplomatically call them out. And you make them look guilty in the eyes of others.

7. try to block you from reaching success

This mainly happens in the workplace. For instance, you may be a candidate for a promotion. A meeting is scheduled for the next morning. And your bully may tell you that the meeting is at nine o’clock when it starts at eight-thirty.

And when you arrive, thirty minutes late, management may question your eligibility for the promotion.

Therefore, always get the answers to any questions you have from those you can trust. Also, read any memos.

8. Haters Gonna Hate:

try to embarrass and humiliate you

People who don’t wish you well may try to set you up for humiliation and embarrassment. In extreme cases, they may take compromising photos of you.

Maybe they sneak into the bathroom with their phone and take snapshots of you using the bathroom. Or perhaps they try to trip you as you’re walking into a meeting.

Therefore, watch your back. And if you know who your haters are, stay far away from them.

9. try to undermine any successes you’ve had

Bullies will try to downplay any accomplishments you’ve made. For instance, someone brags on you for a success you’ve reached. And your bullies say, “Oh, shit! Anybody could’ve done that.”

The best you can do is let them say it. Why? Because they’re showing others the kinds of people they are. Remember that haters gonna hate. So, why not let them continue to expose themselves?

10. try to one-up you

For example, one of your high school buddies brags to others about your ability to get a date. And he tells them that you seem to attract them with ease.

Then, your bully pipes in and begins bragging that he’s scored with x number of girls – more girls than you.

How you stay above this is to smile and let him brag. Because he’s only making himself look like a jackass and everyone else knows it. So, why not let the chump shoot himself in the foot?

You should always use your haters as your motivation to reach your goals.

11. Haters:

Act superior to you

Most haters hate you because they feel inferior to you. Anyone who feels inferior may try to cover it up by acting superior.

Therefore, you can stand up to them by gently calling them out. For instance, you can say, “I’m sorry you feel so inferior that you have to act this way.”

By saying this, you call out their behavior and expose their innermost feelings that they don’t measure up. Ouch!

And if you do it in public, that’s even better.

12. Pretend to be friends with you

Many bullies will act like a friends to get close enough to you to harm you. You must watch out for these kinds of people because they’re slick!

They have ways of chumming up to you without you knowing their intentions. And you won’t see it coming until it’s too late.

Look for them to ask you personal questions. Also, they may say and do things to get you to confide in them. Therefore, if you make a new friend, don’t reveal anything to them that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know.

You won’t know you can trust them until you’ve been friends for a long time. Also, you can conduct a little test.

Tell them something that you couldn’t care less if anyone knows. Then tell them to keep it secret. Let the person be the only one you tell.  If it gets out, then you know they shared it.

And you know that you can’t trust them.

13. Haters Gonna Hate:

Infiltrate your friend group

Some people who hate you may try to get on good terms with your friends. However, know the reason they do. It’s to cause division and put you on your friends’ bad side.

Therefore, be watchful anytime someone who has treated you wrong in the past suddenly ingratiates themselves into your group. And question them in front of your friends.

In Conclusion:

When you have haters, they have a sick obsession with you, your comings and goings, and what you say and do. Therefore, their viciousness says everything about them and nothing about you.

They will discourage you if you let them. However, know that haters admire you. Only they want what you have for themselves. So, they hate you because you have things they wish they had but don’t think they could ever have.

Therefore, feel good about it because there are good reasons you have them. Let it boost your confidence. But, at the same time, watch your back. And know the tactics they may use against you so that you know how to deal with them.

Remember! Haters gonna hate! So, let them hate! And use them as your motivation to reach your goals and dreams.

This post was all about haters so that instead of letting them make you feel bad, you can use them as your motivation to succeed.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Reasons You Have Haters

2. How to Deal with Haters and Why Having Them is Good

3. When Others Tell You You Can’t: 8 Reasons They Discourage You 

When Bystanders Become Bullies: 11 Behaviors of Bully-Supporters

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‘Want to know all the behaviors you’ll see when bystanders become bullies? Here’s how bystanders will behave when they agree with and support the person who is bullying you.

when bystanders become bullies

Sadly, in most cases of bullying, bystanders only make it worse. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what happens when bystanders become bullies and all the behaviors of those who support bullying.

Once you learn all about these signs, you will be able to take the best course of action to protect yourself and decide whether it’s better to leave the environment altogether.

This post is all about what happens when bystanders become bullies, so that you can take steps to ensure your safety.

When Bystanders become Bullies

Any time bystanders join your bullies in tormenting you, it can be especially devastating because you have no one to help you. Moreover, it can escalate to group-bullying, and group behavior can get dangerous very quickly.

So, what are all the signs that bystanders support bullying?

1. Laughing and Giggling

When you’re being bullied in front of an audience, you hear laughing and giggling in the background; the bystanders think it’s funny.

However, it isn’t so funny to you. And they wouldn’t think so either, if they were the ones being bullied in public.

When bystanders laugh and giggle, it means they’re getting their kicks at your expense.

2. Ignoring it and Doing Nothing.

When bystanders ignore bullying and do nothing, they become just as bad as the bullies. There are many reasons bystanders don’t do anything about bullying. Maybe they’re scared of becoming the next target.

It could be that they don’t like you and that they think you deserve to be bullied. Also, the bullies could be their proxies. In other words, your bullies are doing what they wish they had the balls to do.

3. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Whispering and Gossiping About The Bullying Incidents.

If the bystanders can’t stand you, they’ll love it when your bullies attack you. And they’ll talk about it too. Therefore, they will whisper and gossip about the bullying incident to everyone who will listen.

They will say things like, “Katie got her ass kicked in the bathroom yesterday! I mean, she got her shit rocked!”

Here are other statements bystanders who hate you might make after bullies publicly attack you.

“Charles finally got what was coming to him this morning! And it was glorious!”

“You should have seen it! Samantha and Janessa jumped Pam on Tuesday in the hall! They knocked her down, then they started kicking her while she was down on the floor!”

“I don’t feel sorry for the bitch! She got what she deserved, and I hope she gets more of it!”

“April said she’s going to kick Carla’s ass, and I hope I’m around to see it go down!”

Several bystanders may come to you and tell you that your bully is gunning for you. Here’s what they may say to you.

“You’ve got several people who are looking for you, and when they find you, they’re going to kick your butt.”

“You’d better hope Sheila doesn’t run into you because she’s got a bone to pick with you.”

Make no mistake! When bystanders come and tell you these things, they’re not doing it out of concern. They’re doing it to intimidate you and instill in you a sense of dread.

4. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Staring and Pointing.

When your bullies are in your face and there are people around to see it, those people may point and stare because they’re getting entertainment from seeing your bullies attack you.

And they won’t stop gawking until the fight is over. Then they will run and tell everyone how your bullies punked you out. Some might even embellish on the story to make it bigger and to make you look weaker.

But realize that they’re doing it because they want a story to tell all their friends.

5. Playing the Messenger between the Bully and Victim.

Many bystanders might run to you and bait you into saying something bad about your bullies. If you take the bait, they will then report back to your bullies with everything you told them. Also, they may embellish and add to what you said to make it worse.

They may then come back to you with how your bullies responded to get you to divulge more. And they will do this several times over.

If nothing else, know this! The reason these people play messenger is that they are itching to see a fight. Therefore, they try to stir it up. So, see their behavior for what it is.

They’re trying to get a fight started so they can watch, then go brag about it later. You should have nothing to do with these people.

The next time someone comes to you and tries to trick you into saying something about your bullies, ask them, “What’s it to you?” Then, tell them to get lost.

6. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Hopping on the Bandwagon and joining in.

When your bullies get in your face, many bystanders will join them in tormenting you. When the bullies accuse you of something, the bystanders might tell the bully that they saw you do it or heard you say it.

Or they may follow the bullies’ lead when they call you names and insult you. They may call you ugly names too.

Again, these bystanders are no better than you bullies are. In fact, they’re worse. Why? Because they don’t have the guts to confront you unless your bullies do it first. All they are is a bunch of flying monkeys.

And you know what usually happens to flying monkeys. Right? Once they do what the bullies want them to do, the bullies have no use for them anymore. Then, the bullies discard them like yesterday’s garbage.

7. Keeping the Rumor Mill Going about the Target Victim.

If your bullies have started a smear campaign against you, they start a rumor about you to ruin your reputation. The bystanders will then pick it up and keep it going.

And they may change the story around during the process and make it bigger. Therefore, you must see these people for who they are. They’re a bunch of followers and wannabes.

8. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Liking or Agreeing with Mean Social Media Posts.

If you’re being cyber-bullied, bystanders will often like any mean social media posts. If your bullies make vicious comments about you, they may like those too.

Anytime someone hits the like button on a mean post, it only means they agree with your bullies. Therefore, if these people happen to be on your friend or followers list, you must delete and block them immediately.

Because they’re not on your list to be your friend. They’re there to spy on you.

9. Inciting More Bullying Between the Bully and THE Target Victim.

Sadly, many bystanders get their kicks out of seeing bullies bully you. Therefore, they will egg it on to keep it going. When bystanders tried to keep the fires burning, you often hear the people around you cheer as your bully is telling you off or beating the crap out of you.

For instance, when your bully gets in your face, you might hear people in the background shouting and jeering. They may say things like, “Hit her! Just hit her!” Or you might hear them say, “Get him, Johnny!” or “Yeah! Set her ass straight!”

Understand where this behavior comes from. They like seeing you get pummeled by the bullies. Moreover, these bystanders are too chicken to do it themselves. Your bullies serve as proxies to them.

Therefore, you must stand up to bullies and show them and their supporters that you won’t take their abuse lying down.

10. When Bystanders Become Bullies:

Getting pissed off at you for defending yourself.

Here’s an example. Your bullies approach you in the parking lot and try to provoke you. In fact, they’ve been giving you hell for a long time now, and you’re sick of it.

When one of your bullies hits you first, that’s the last straw. You immediately sock him in the nose, then commence to beating the mess out of him in front of everyone.

All of a sudden, everyone is outraged, not at the bully who started it, but at you for defending yourself. But where was their outrage when they were starting shit with you?

Again, see these bystanders for who they are – a bunch of agitators! And tell them all to take a long walk off a short pier!

11. Retaliating against you for defending yourself.

For instance, you may beat the crap out of one bully, then the bystanders may set you up to be attacked by a bigger bully. They may lie to the bigger bully, telling them that you are trying to get with his girl. Or they may tell them that you said something bad about him.

Whatever they do, they do it because they hate you for sweeping the floor with their hero – the bully they looked up to. Therefore, they’re going to pay you back by getting a bigger bully to attack you. Why? To increase the odds that you might get your butt kicked.

Again, have nothing to do with these bystanders because they’re a bunch of weak little cowards who can’t fight their own battles. So, they must get someone else to do their violence for them.

When Bystanders Become Bullies:

In Conclusion

Sadly, most bystanders are cowards. Chances are that they will not help you if you’re a target of bullying. They will only blame you because they hate you as much as your bullies do. But they don’t have the guts to attack you themselves.

The only way they can attack you is to do it subtly or join in with your bullies. So, see these people for who they are – a bunch of pathetic losers who are scared that they might be next. As long as you look at them this way, you keep your confidence up.

This post was all about the signs you see when bystanders become bullies, so that you will know when it’s time to change schools or begin looking for employment elsewhere.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

2. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

3. Examples of Subtle Bullying: 6 Powerful Ways to Read Between the Lines

4. Guilt by Association Fallacy: How It Brings About Bullying

Flattery vs Compliment: 7 Signs Bullies are Buttering You Up

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‘Want to know the difference of flattery vs compliment? Here are all the differences you need to know about.

flattery vs compliment

Compliments are great. But only if they come from the heart.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to differentiate flattery vs compliment so that you know when to say thank you and when someone is just trying to butter you up.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to spot a fake compliment when you hear one.

This post is all about the differences between flattery vs compliment and how you should respond to each.

Flattery vs compliment

Targets of bullying must know the difference between the two. And, surprisingly, many people think that compliments and flattery are one and the same. They aren’t.

A compliment is genuine. Whereas flattery is fake.

A compliment comes from the heart and is truthful. Also, compliments are earned. They’re reserved for people who deserve them. Compliments are given to praise someone for an accomplishment. They are an acknowledgement for a good deed or a job well done.

Flattery, on the other hand, is used for self-servitude. It is insincere, deceptive, and can be an insult to the recipient. Because, again, it is strictly used for selfish purposes. Flattery and insincere compliments are both the same.

Therefore, bullies never pay sincere compliments, especially to their victims. However, they will use flattery to butter them up to manipulate and exploit them. Bullies may also use flattery as a form of subtle sarcasm.

And if the target happens to be gullible, he may confuse it for genuine compliments. Bullies will then watch the victim’s face light up with over-excitement, then laugh later.

Remember that many targets of bullying are often thirsty for any sign of approval and praise because they don’t get enough of it, if they get any at all. Therefore, anything that even looks like approval, they’ll be excited to receive, even overly so.

So, what are the differences between flattery and compliments?

Flattery vs Compliment:

Your Relationship with the person giving it

Simple. You can tell by the kind of relationship you have with the person complimenting you. In other words, if the person complimenting you is a bully who normally mistreats you, then you can be sure that it’s flattery. And the compliment is fake, phony, and false.

I can’t stress this enough. Never take seriously any “compliment” you receive from a bully. When a bully is suddenly nice to you and gives compliments, it is likely an attempt to manipulate you.

A bully who compliments you is only flattering you. They are looking for an eventual payoff, be it psychological or otherwise.

In contrast, if the person is a true friend or family member who loves you and has never intentionally harmed you, you know that the compliment is for real. Even if the praise comes from a total stranger, it would be more acceptable than if it came from a bully.

Still, even with strangers, you should be gracious but cautious because they haven’t established a relationship with you yet. A simple thank you will do in this situation.

Make Sure Your Own Compliments are Sincere.

Just the same, if you are the one making the compliment, make sure the person you compliment is a close friend or family member. In other words, make sure that person damn well deserves it from you and that they’ve done something that warrants it.

Understand that most people know their strengths and weaknesses. And if you give them a false accolade on something they know they aren’t good at, they will see that you’re lying to them. Also, they will wonder what ulterior motives you have in giving them such a fake compliment.

And last and most importantly, never compliment a bully! Ever!

Flattery vs Compliment:

Here’s why:

  1. Bullies get their behinds kissed all the time, and it’s exactly how they’ll perceive it.
  2. You will be giving the bully a juicy opportunity to turn it against you and steamroll you with it.
  3. Bullies are the last people who deserve praise. Never give anyone anything they haven’t earned.

Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed-up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Again, compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken and humiliated I was because she said that aloud, in front of an audience. I vowed that, from that moment on, I would give compliments only to those I trusted.

Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.

Flattery vs Compliment:

They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.

Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

Follow these three rules, and I promise you that your value will increase significantly. It may not seem so, but it will.

So, how can you tell when your bullies are trying to butter you up to get something from you? Here’s what to look for.

1. A Sudden Chance of Heart.

Anytime your bullies have a sudden change of heart, your antennae should automatically go up! Nobody becomes a friend overnight. Friendship takes time because trust takes time to build.

Therefore, just as you shouldn’t rush into a romantic relationship, neither should you rush into a friendship. If someone who is usually brutal toward you suddenly begins treating you warmly, watch out!

Bullies will often begin sweet-talking you when they want something from you. So, look for them to ask you for something once they’ve buttered you up enough.

2. Flattery vs Compliment:

Excessive Sweet-Talk

You must understand that bullies have a higher understanding of human nature than most. They instinctively know that after they’ve bullied you over a certain amount of time and turned enough people against you, you’ll likely be hungry for any morsel of kindness.

People can sense when you’re vulnerable. And they will take full advantage!

You’ll know that something is off because your bullies will overdo the pleasantries. They’ll use excessive flattery. And, man! Do they lay it on thick!

Therefore, if they’re so sickeningly sweet that you swear you’re getting a mouthful of cavities just listening to them, that’s your cue to find the door.

3. fake smiles

A genuine smile is when a person smiles with their eyes and their mouth. You’ll see their eyes light up and crinkles develop around their eyes. On the other hand, if someone smiles only with their mouth, it’s time to end the conversation and excuse yourself.

4. Micro-flashes

If you pay close attention to body language and facial expressions, you’ll notice those tiny, split-second flashes of contempt on their faces. Moreover, you’ll notice them when your bullies think you aren’t looking or paying attention.

Therefore, don’t ignore those. Bid them goodbye and politely leave.

5. Flattery vs Compliment

Giggling or smirking among themselves after you turn and walk away

They’ll look at you until you turn your back. Once you walk away, they’ll give each other knowing glances. Or, they may look at each other and give a wink, a nod, or both.

Also, you may hear giggling and snickering as you walk away. These are a dead giveaway! Therefore, give these idiots the boot!

6. They will get furious when you politely decline any invitations or requests.

Again! Steer clear. It only goes to show that they don’t respect you as a person with boundaries and human rights!

Also, it’s a sign that in their invitations or requests, they more than likely had plans for you that you don’t know about. Maybe they invited you to dinner or a party as a way to lure you to a possible set-up for something humiliating or dangerous?

You never know. And if you don’t know, don’t go!

7. Your Gut will warn you!

When it comes to bullies, always be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. Therefore, if your bullies shower you with flattery, you’ll notice that something doesn’t feel right.

This is your first clue. Your gut will always warn you when there’s danger around. So, listen to it.

Flattery vs Compliment:

In Conclusion:

Any time bullies want something from you, the first thing they do is have a sudden change of heart and pour on the flattery. Therefore, always look at how they’ve treated you in the past. Because past behavior always predicts future behavior.

You’re a target, but you don’t have to be a victim.

This post was all about the differences in flattery vs compliment so that you will see the difference and protect yourself from insincere people.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me? Here are 5 Reasons to Beware!

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Character vs Reputation: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Smear You  

how to deal with haters and jealous people

How to Deal with Haters and Why Having Them is Good

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‘Want to know how to deal with haters? Here’s everything you need to know.

how to deal with haters

Haters can make your life harder than it should be. Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with haters without stooping to their level.

Once you learn all of this essential and detailed information, you will be able to rise above your bullies and haters confidently.

This post is all about how to deal with haters so that you can save your self-esteem without sacrificing your goodness.

How to Deal with Haters

Anyone who’s anyone has haters. If you don’t have haters, you aren’t doing something right. Therefore, if you have haters and bullies on your back, maybe they hate you because you have something they wish they had.

Or, it could be because they’re so miserable with their own lives that they want to give you a difficult time to feel better about themselves.

Whatever the case, realize that their hatred is only hurting them, not you.

Hate Only hurts the Hater, Not the Hated

As a survivor of severe bullying and peer abuse, I’ve seen the faces of hate – up close and personal. And let me tell you, it’s ugly! And dangerous!

I know what it looks like. I’ve felt its painful sting. As much as I hate to admit it, I’ve even directed toward others in those days.

However, hatred is worthless. Most people don’t understand the damage it does to not the hated, but the hater!

Hate causes the hater more pain than it does the hated. I say this because I’ve witnessed it.

In the past, I’ve looked into the eyes of my bullies. I’ve stared deep into their eyes, down into their souls! And I firmly believe that if there weren’t a law against murder, I probably wouldn’t be here today.

How to Deal with Haters:

When You’re On the Receiving End of Hatred

That was the kind of hate many of my classmates had for me. I saw how it would burn them up inside. ‘You see? That’s what hate does. When you have hatred for another person, you’re only hurting yourself.

Because hate will eat you up inside and make you batty. It is a sick and twisted obsession, and it can take over your life if you allow it to.

Hatred can destroy your happiness and prospects. It skews your judgment and ability to think clearly. It causes you to make horrible decisions that can alter the entire trajectory of your life.

Hate is Harmful on Both Sides

When a person has hatred for another human being, it numbs their conscience and dulls their reasoning capabilities. They will condone things they would otherwise deem immoral and evil.

The hater will approve of the most depraved, heinous, and atrocious atrocities directed toward the hated person. However, they would disapprove of it, even condemn it, if it’s against anyone else, even a total stranger.

Hate turns even the kindest, most caring people into depraved monsters. It destroys haters and targets alike. Hate kills.

Indifference is a better option than hate. Because with indifference, you could absolutely care less. You couldn’t care less if the person is doing well or poorly, what he thinks, what he says, or what he does.

How to Deal with Haters:

Indifference is Much Better than Hate

On the other hand, with hate, you care because all you want is for the hated person to suffer. There’s a strong desire to make sure nothing good happens to those you hate.

And you obsessively seek to destroy them and their life. You want to make sure all opportunities are closed off to the hated person. This is what hate does. It causes haters to obsess over the hated.

So, if you’re a target of bullies, let them go ahead and hate on you. But don’t hate them back. Instead, be indifferent toward them. And how you do that is to stop caring what others think and do your thing, baby!

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you win. Even the greatest have haters.

Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be.

It depends on how you look at it and how you use it. Once you start seeing the positives in it, they won’t be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even enjoy watching them squirm every time they see you.

How to Deal with Haters:

5 Reasons They Hate You So Much

The greatest people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. But many of them don’t understand why.

Therefore, if you have haters, you probably wonder, “What did I ever do to them?”

You may think to yourself, “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, why do these people hate me so much?”

So, allow me to answer.

You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong. Period! What they think doesn’t matter. Know that there’s absolutely nothing wrong with you.

I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are. Now, you’re probably thinking, “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me like they do?”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

Here are the reasons your haters have a problem with you.

1. How to Deal with Haters:

They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on you. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mom’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. They’d go out of their way to keep that hidden. Why? Because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it anywhere else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities, and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life. And their only source of entertainment and an endorphin rush is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for. Why? Because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives.

And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin your life.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today. Many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a lovely home, a good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be satisfied, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one.

There are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, they’re miserable people, and you shouldn’t hate them back; you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want. Yet they get outraged at those who work hard and achieve the things they wish for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters don’t want to work. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it, and if you do, you have the choice not to care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have. Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look, they don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition. And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Again, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers, and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. You are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds. Why? Because if they can’t have what you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Reasons You Have Haters:

Let your haters be your motivation.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it. Why? Because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

The thoughts and opinions of bullies are worthless to you, or they should be. This may sound strange to many targets, especially those whom bullies have brainwashed for so long.

And that’s a terrible thing. Therefore, if you’re a target who has been conditioned, I’d like for you to ask yourself these questions:

Has it benefited me in any way to measure my value as a person by the opinions of bullies?

Would my bullies be able to hold up as well as I do if they themselves had to endure bullying?

Even on the off-chance that they could, does that give them license to judge me, a person who is enduring something that would break many others?

If we all worried about the opinions of our bullies and haters, the world wouldn’t have even a tenth of it’s population. Moreover, we wouldn’t have doctors, lawyers, writers, comedians, singers, actors, and other such great people.

They all would have collapsed under the crushing weight of anticipated judgements and personal attacks. Therefore, they never would have reached the heights of success that they have.

Therefore, let your haters be your motivation to love yourself, to care for yourself, and to improve your life.

It’s Not What They Call You, It’s What You Answer to.

Your favorite rock star receives hate and vitriolic comments over a few lyrics in one of his songs. Back in the pre-Internet days, famous actors and musicians got bags of hate mail along with the fan mail.

Many targets of bullying have an intense fear of being judged, and it’s exactly what holds them back in life. Why? Because it can cause you to hold back your feelings. Furthermore, you will allow this fear to stifle your talents and creativity.

Realize that a bully’s judgment is only a reflection of their own fears and insecurities.

This is why you must never allow haters or anyone else to make you believe that their feelings about you are more important than how you feel about yourself. Never take your bullies’ word over your own. Never allow their opinions to trump yours.

And once you realize how cheap your bullies’ thoughts and opinions of you really are, they will have less effect on you.

Reasons You Have Haters:

In Closing

You should love your haters. Why? Because your haters are your fans, they just don’t know it. They keep you relevant.

One thing bullies and haters despise is when they can’t get you to hate yourself.

How you deal with haters is to let them hate and keep doing your thing. Keep being yourself. And continue to love yourself.

Know the real reasons you have haters and feel good about it!

This post gave you all the reasons you have haters to motivate, inspire, and encourage you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. 5 Reasons You Have Haters

2. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

3. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

things bullies hate most

Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

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‘Want to know about all the things bullies hate? Here are the most common things they despise.

things bullies hate

There are things bullies hate, and if you know what they are, you can use them to gain an advantage.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the most common things bullies hate so that you can weaponize them to defend yourself.

Once you learn all about this critical information, you will be better able to protect yourself the next time they come for you.

This post is all about the things bullies hate most, so that you can gain the advantage you need to ensure your safety.

Things Bullies Hate

Bullies have images to keep up. Therefore, they hate anything that pokes holes in their image. And they hate anyone who sees behind the facades. So, what are the things that might threaten their images of perfection?

1. Constructive Criticism

Bullies don’t take constructive criticism very well. They only react to it as if it is a personal attack. Constructive criticism is designed to help you, not harm you. However, bullies don’t see it that way.

Constructive criticism makes you better. In contrast, destructive criticism tears you down. Let’s give an example of constructive and destructive criticism.

Constructive:

“What you did was foolish.”

Destructive:

“You’re foolish.”

Constructive criticism attacks the deed. Destructive criticism attacks the person. However, bullies can’t tell the difference because they’re too wrapped up in themselves to notice.

Remember that bullies are highly egocentric. They must always be right about everything. Or, more appropriately, look as if they’re right about everything. Bullies have a knack for hiding beneath a veneer of total perfection.

They do this for several reasons.

  1. It makes them look better than they really are.
  2. The veneer of perfection can be used as protection from accountability and shield them from reproach.
  3. It can be used to draw others to them and fool them.
  4. It can be used as a weapon against their targets.
  5. It gives them status and social capital.
  6. It gives them the attention and admiration they seek.

Things Bullies Hate:

Bullies hate getting it, but they love giving it.

Bullies love criticizing you because it makes them look like they’re smarter than you. They will use the veil of constructive criticism to disparage others they deem inferior and unworthy.

They may tell you that they’re only giving you this criticism to help you. However, they’re doing it to show you and everyone else that they’re superior to you. A bully’s hypocrisy knows no bounds.

If a bully ever unfairly criticizes you, you must stand up to them. Tell them in no uncertain terms to mind their own affairs and go on about their business.

And if they keep it up, hit them with their own book of standards. You can always say something like:

“That sounds real good coming from someone who doesn’t practice what they preach. Now, get out of here and go on about your business.”

This is one comeback you can use. It’s straightforward and, even better, it’s blunt. It’s nothing fancy. You don’t have to get cute or witty with it. Just say what you mean, mean what you say, and say it in as few words as possible.

2. Rules

Bullies hate following rules. Remember that bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Moreover, they crave power. And the more power they have, the more they want.

Therefore, they feel that rules don’t apply to them. In their minds, rules are for everyone else.

3. Things Bullies Hate:

Being Stood up to

Bullies despise it when you stand up to them. Why? Because you are challenging their perceived authority. Therefore, they will fight you tooth and nail to reinforce their power over you.

Realize that when you stand up to a bully, things usually get worse before they get better. This is because bullies aren’t used to you defending yourself. In fact, they aren’t used to anyone standing up to them.

This is because others usually kiss their ass and give them free reign.

Therefore, bullies grow quite comfortable with having carte blanche to ride roughshod over you any time they feel like it. And they don’t want those advantages to stop.

Therefore, they’ll fight even harder to keep getting those benefits, even if they do come at your expense.

You must get this through your head right now. Bullies do not care about how they’ve hurt you. They don’t care about how much you’ve suffered from their abuse. The only thing they care about is power and whether they can keep getting what they want from you.

So, they will increase the abuse, not only to punish you, but also to wear you down. Why? Because if they can make you too tired to keep fighting, then they keep the upper hand.

Therefore, they will fight harder to keep you down at first. What you must do is stay strong, no matter how exhausted you may become. And you must also fight harder. This means you have to fight harder than they do.

It’s the only way you will ever get them to leave you alone.

4. Things Bullies Hate:

You proving them wrong

When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect. This puts a dent in their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshining them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you back down where they think you should be.

6. Things Bullies Hate:

Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

Understand that bullies see any successes or accomplishments you achieve as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is drawn from a sense of one-upmanship and winning over.

Therefore, if you make a huge accomplishment or win any award or prize, bullies will see it as competition with them. As a result, they will escalate the bullying to punish you for that success.

Bullies will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

7. Taking Orders

Remember that bullies are primarily concerned with exerting power. Therefore, they despise taking orders. Why? Because to take orders means that they must be in a position of inferiority.

Bullies have an attitude of superiority. They don’t follow orders; they give them.

8. Things Bullies Hate:

Someone treating them the way they treat their victims

Bullies are notorious for expecting you to be okay with treatment that they would never be OK with. In their minds, it’s OK for them to treat others with disrespect.

However, when you kick the shit back their way, they become outraged. This is because bullies think that they’re exempt from having to suffer negative treatment.

Bullies think that they’re entitled to respect and admiration. And they become quite angry if you don’t give it to them. Moreover, they may even retaliate vengefully if they feel you aren’t giving them the recognition they think they deserve.

Therefore, see them for who they are… a bunch of smug, self-important turds who think the world should bow before them. Instead of kissing up to them, give them the treatment they give you. Regard them with indifference and dismissal.

9. Being ignored.

I’ve met many bullies who despised being ignored, even if they were acting like total jackasses. Realize that bullies crave attention, and they will do anything to get it.

They want to be the center of attention. “All eyes on me! Look at me! I’m special!”

Therefore, the best thing to do with them is to give them the attention they don’t want. And that is to stand up to them and tell them to get a life. Also, you can give them a dismissive look and walk away.

Things Bullies Hate:

In Closing

Bullies hate anything that doesn’t focus on them. Therefore, the worst you can do to them is dismiss them and keep going about your business. Sometimes, you must give bullies a dose of their own medicine to keep your self-esteem intact.

If you know what your bullies hate most, you can leverage it.

This post was all about the things bullies hate so that you can use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous 

2. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise 

bullies are cowards in disguise

Bullies are Cowards: Why Targets are the Brave Ones

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‘Want to know why bullies are cowards and how victims are the brave ones? Here is everything you need to know.

bullies are cowards

In a world where appearances prevail, it would seem that bullies are the brave ones and targets are the cowards. But things aren’t always what they seem. Now, are they?

In this post, you will learn why bullies are cowards and victims are the brave ones.

Once you learn all about these essential truths, you will feel better knowing that you are better off than your bullies will ever be.

This post is all about why bullies are often cowards, so that you can see your bullies for who they truly are and begin standing up to them.

Bullies are Cowards

Have you noticed that bullies love to talk smack? They trumpet to the world about how tough they are. Moreover, they believe that everyone else should bow down and tremble before them.

Bullies work hard at beating their chests and bluffing. However, it only goes to prove that they’re the least confident and most insecure schmucks on the face of the earth.

Why? Because anyone who must announce that they’re tough can’t be. When something is there, you don’t have to try and show it.

Those who are tough are usually the quiet ones. They don’t have to talk about it. How many times have you heard stories about the quiet kid beating the crap out of the loudmouth bully who pushed him too far?

The ones who are truly tough never talk. You don’t see these people running around, spouting off about how tough they are because they don’t have to.

They don’t need to tell you about it because they already know they’re tough and there’s no need to prove it to anyone. They’ve already proven it to themselves, and that’s enough.

Bluffs, Blowhards, and Windbags

Therefore, if any bully messes with them, they will get hurt.

I’ve dealt with droves of bullies, and one thing I noticed a long time ago is that they’re loudmouth losers. They puff out their chests and flap their lips. They talk about how they’re going to kick this person’s butt, whip that person’s butt- they never stop.

Additionally, many bullies may employ passive-aggressive tactics. Because they’re too scared to be direct, they like to hurl subtle zingers your way, hoping you won’t notice.

With these chumps, it’s one pissing contest after another.

Bullies are Cowards:

They Quickly Grow Boring.

As a result, having to listen to their gas constantly gets boring fast. Why? Because, again, that’s all you hear out of them.

Anyone who must spit such rubbish isn’t only trying to convince the rest of the world. They’re also trying to convince themselves.

These are characteristics of every single chump who has ever bullied me in my lifetime. It’s not only pathetic, but laughable that they must go through life this way.

Furthermore, these people are so incredibly insecure that you can trigger them just by challenging them in any way. Their egos are that fragile.

These bullies may even approach you and get in your face if they have their entourage of lackeys behind them. Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, know this.

Your bullies are total fakes. They’re phonies. Cowards. Chumps!

All You Can Do is Pity Them.

When you stop and think about it, it’s hard to hate anyone who is this pathetic. The only thing you can do is feel sorry for such pitiful souls.

Again, remember that those who are genuinely tough don’t have to talk about it. It’s just there.

Always remember this the next time a bully gets in your face or shoots their mouth off. Feel confident in knowing that you’re not like this person and you don’t have to resort to such buffoonery. This alone should be a real self-esteem booster.

Have you noticed that many little people can be the biggest bullies?

Bullies are Cowards:

Bullies with Napoleon Complexes

Many bullies in school were insecure because they were short, skinny, or both. So, they would compensate for that by bullying others.

They would intimidate others by walking around with a scowl on their faces. Or they’d scream, yell, and talk real tough. It’s hilarious when I look back now.

Many of these little squirts do this, and there’s a name for it. It’s called either the “Napoleon Complex” or “little man syndrome.”

Think “Maddy Webber” on the new MacGyver reboot.

Understand that their bark is worse than their bite, and they bully as a defense mechanism. Maybe the little ankle-biters at my school gave me a hard time because bigger kids were bullying them.

But they would never admit it. So, they took the coward’s way out and searched for someone they thought was weaker.

They’d come at you with their spitfire tempers and want to try to fight you. Then they’d wonder why they got a good whack in the nose. Next, they’d either run, crying to a teacher, or they’d go bark up someone else’s tree.

I was small myself, weighing about 120 pounds and standing at only 5’3″ -5’4″. However, some of these kids were even smaller than I was. Such kids are in every school, and you even have tiny adults who behave the same way at work.

We even had a few short and skinny teachers. And they’d scream and yell at the students when they’d get too noisy.

I knew of one male English teacher who’d go wild. He would slam his fists down on his desk or shake his fists in the air.  He would even throw erasers at students and scream like a banshee.

We just knew this little guy was a future resident at the state mental hospital.

Bullies are Cowards:

Real Life Experiences with Tiny Bullies

Even as an adult, I’ve seen different people (especially men) at work who were short and lanky. Yet, they would bark loudly, and I couldn’t help but think that they were compensating somehow for their stature.

Their screaming, cursing, posturing, and jockeying seemed to give them some sense of power. I’m not posting this to make fun of little people. Not all of them are like this. As I mentioned earlier, I’m only 5’4″.

We all come in different sizes and varieties, and we should celebrate those differences. But when you feel you have to bully others to make up for a weakness, you only show what a scared little coward you are. And people like me see right through you, and all we do is laugh.

Try a little kindness instead. Then, when a bigger bully comes for you, we just might come to your defense instead of laughing at you.

Cyber-bullies are the biggest cowards of all.

Bullies are cowards, but Cyber-bullies are the biggest, most pathetic ones.

They sit in the safety of their homes or their mom’s basements, attics, and backyard sheds. And they hide behind fake profiles and screen names, trolling the internet and social media in search of victims.

If you’ve ever dealt with a cyber-bully, I knew how you feel. Words do have power and it’s easy to be hurt when anyone attacks you, online or off. I, too used to get upset when I’d look at my instant messages and find that some idiot had sent me a flamer.

However, today, I’ve learned to see it for what it is and the cyber-bullies for who they are. And that in itself can be a real boost to the self-esteem.

When I think of the term “cyber-bully,” I instantly get a mental picture of one of two types of people:

1. Some broke, unemployed and shirtless fat guy sitting and typing on a computer in his granny’s basement, while stuffing his face with Cheetos and sporting a man-bun.

2. A skinny, pimple-faced, bespectacled geek who only trolls the net to compensate for his lack of sex and a social life in the real world.

Occasionally, I still deal with cyberbullies. When I do, one of those pathetic pictures immediately pops up in my mind. And I can’t help but chuckle to myself.

Bullies are Cowards:

If they have time to troll the internet, they can’t be about much.

Because cyber-bullies often use a fake profile or screen name with either a blank photo or one that’s fake, it only shows that they’re faceless cowards and not to be taken seriously.

These losers talk so big and tough behind that keyboard- oh, yeah! They’re real badasses online. But you can bet that if they ever saw you on the street, they wouldn’t have the sack to step up.

So, ask yourself these questions.

  • Should I take these wusses so seriously?
  • Should I give these worthless schmucks the power to make us feel bad about ourselves?
  • Should I value their useless gibberish?

I can’t speak for anyone else. However, I have a hard time valuing the worthless opinions of anyone who doesn’t have a name or face.

Any person who’s a Rambo in cyberspace but a George McFly on the street, I can only take with a horselaugh and a grain of salt.

You either have a big, brass pair or you don’t.

It takes a real zero to spend even a few hours a day trolling other users. You just know that the person has no ambition, no prospects, and no life.

Understand that when you’re cyber-bullied, often you’re dealing with a poor soul who is bored, lonely, and miserable.

And the only way they can feel good about themselves and have power is to do what they’re doing now.

Therefore, if you are cyber-bullied online, you shouldn’t put too much stock in their opinions. Their words don’t carry a lot of weight.

Understand that cyber-bullies are often people who flame others because they’re insecure, self-loathing, and have nothing going for them. Online is the only way these pathetic losers can have a social life.

That alone speaks volumes about the kind of people they are and the crappy lives they lead. So, again, should you take these losers seriously? Are they worth getting angry or depressed over?

These idiots can’t make you feel bad about yourself unless you allow them to.

Bullies are Cowards:

For words to have power over you, you must first consider the source.

Though words have power, and they can hurt you, you should always consider the source. Because in truth, most cyber-bullies live miserable existences and should only be pitied.

Yet, victims are (mistakenly) branded as cowards. They are the ones who come to school or work and face bullies… alone, no matter how viciously they get brutalized.

Through all the name-calling, the taunts, the brutal beatings, and the threats to their lives, targets manage to reach within themselves and push through another day.

To endure abuse every single day for several years and still find the resolve to soldier on? Now that takes courage! Targets of bullying are the real warriors! Notice I didn’t say victim.

It takes bravery to be a target of relentless bullying and remain standing tall. To endure bouts of daily and constant abuse and make it to the finish line of high school graduation or the end-of-week paycheck? That takes guts!

To stay in the race, while most bullies drop out of school or quit their jobs when the going gets tough? That’s not only brave, but it’s also heroic! To be your own hero? That takes bravery, bullies will never have.

So take advantage of it and shut your bullies down for good! You don’t have to be an easy target.

This post explained why bullies are cowards so that their games DON’T have the effect on you they once did and you can feel better about yourself knowing that you aren’t them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

2. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

3. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

is bullying natural selection

Is Bullying Natural? 3 Cop Outs Bullies Use for Excuses

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Is bullying natural? Some people think so, and some do not. Here are all the details you need to know.

is bullying natural

Many people say that bullying is only natural selection. Additionally, they may refer to it as Darwinism. They may even say that bullying is all about survival of the fittest.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn to look further into to the age-old question, “Is bullying natural?”. Also, you will learn all about bullying, natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest so that you can make your own judgments.

Once you learn all about these details, you will be able to draw more informed conclusions.

Is bullying natural? This post may or may not give you the answer you’re looking for. However, it will prompt you to conduct some research and draw your own conclusions.

Is Bullying Natural?

Anytime I hear people refer to bullying as either of the three mentioned in this article’s title, I find it cringeworthy at best! And the words that immediately flash through my mind are “cop-out,” “trivialization,” and “excuses.”

However, the more research I do, the more I’m convinced that it is a dark part of human nature. However, it doesn’t mean it’s natural, per se. Moreover, it damn sure isn’t right, and people shouldn’t do it.

Many bullies use the natural selection, Darwinism, and survival of the fittest science as excuses to continue their behavior.

And that is what pisses me off!

When bullies describe their behavior as one of these three things, they are essentially saying that their behavior is entirely normal. Therefore, they don’t have to stop the abuse.

They’re also saying that victims are weak and undesirable. And that they should be eliminated from the human race. Moreover, they believe that bullying is required for the survival of the human race.

Bullying is not normal.

Bullying is anything but normal. It is brutal, malicious, hurtful, and cowardly.

Victims of bullying are not weak. And they are not undesirable. They may think differently from most. They are often exceptional people with brilliant minds.

Many celebrities, CEOs, inventors, writers, scientists, doctors, and professors were bullied in school. Moreover, some of them have been bullied in the workplace as adults. However, they survived.

If these people had not survived, the world might never have seen many awesome inventions.  Many breakthroughs never would have happened.

For example, Edison might not have invented the electric light bulb. Bell may not have finished inventing the telephone.

Perhaps we would never have seen the first organ transplant. Where would we be without these people?

Bullying may be a dark part of human nature. But, I would not go so far as to say that it’s natural or normal.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullying only destroys the human race.

An example of this would be the Nazi’s bullying of Jews during World War II. As a result, they ended up slaughtering six million of them during the holocaust.

Now, do you still think that bullying is necessary for the survival of our species?

Bullying is never okay! And sadly, I’ve heard many people refer to it as one of the above three. Understand that this is only a cop-out.

It’s a way to blame victims. And, it’s an excuse not to help those who are bullied.

If you are a bully or bystander and believe this garbage, then you are only lying to yourself. If you’re a victim, rest assured that you are not weak, nor are you undesirable.

It only means that you are brave enough to think outside the box. Moreover, you refuse to be a follower.

Those are characteristics that you should be proud of. Why? Because you have the opportunity to go far and make a difference in society.

Therefore, don’t give up! Give yourself a chance! You never know. In the future, you may be the person who brings positive change to the world. And your bullies will more than likely end up living less than desirable lives.

So, what are Darwinism, natural selection, and survival of the fittest?

Is Bullying Natural?

What is Darwinism and Natural Selection?

There are 3 cop outs bullies hide behind. Darwinism, Natural Selection, and Survival of the Fittest.

Darwinism refers to the theory of natural selection. In other words, humans and animals choose mates based on their preferred inherited genes and traits. For instance, partners are likely to select those with specific physical and mental characteristics over others.

The purpose of this is to ensure the production of healthier offspring. That’s fine and dandy. I get that. However, bullying has nothing to do with natural selection. Why? Because bullying is abuse.

It’s one thing not to prefer a particular person for a relationship or friendship. That’s okay because we like what we like. However, when a bully sets out to bully a target, they must stalk them to do it.

Again, bullying is abuse. Natural selection doesn’t involve bullying. You choose certain people over others. And it doesn’t have to involve bullying.

This is why Darwinism and Natural Selection are excuses bullies use to cop out behind.

When you choose a particular person over the other, it doesn’t involve bullying the other. In other words, just because someone chooses someone else over you, it doesn’t mean they’re out to harm you. Bullying, on the other hand, seeks to do deliberate harm.

What is Survival of the Fittest?

Survival of the fittest is the theory that organisms best suited to their environment are more likely to survive, reproduce, and pass their superior genes to their offspring.

Again, this doesn’t involve bullying. It simply means that those who are best suited to their environments are more likely to survive. For instance, an Inuit can survive in cold climates. In contrast, someone from the tropics will have a hard time adapting and surviving in the Arctic.

It doesn’t involve bullying.

Is Bullying Natural?

5 myths about bullying we need to be aware of

Myths are often mistaken for facts. Therefore, they can obscure people’s judgment. They can also blind you to bullying behavior, even when it’s happening right in front of your face.

Moreover, myths can even make it hard for a person to know when someone is abusing them.

Here are a few myths to be aware of:

Myth 1. Targets are weak losers who deserve bullying.

People suffering at the hands of bullies are not weak, nor are they losers. Over the past decade or so, we have found that bullies tend to target those who are genuinely good people with kind hearts.

Bullies are evil people who perceive goodness, kindness, and generosity as weaknesses. Therefore, they target people who have these qualities.

Additionally, bullies often target those who are multi-talented, star achievers, and performers. Understand that bullies perceive these individuals as a threat to their power. Why? One-upmanship is one way bullies can feel a sense of power.

When high-achieving targets outshine bullies, they unwittingly provoke jealous rage in them. And these bullies will pull out all the stops to make them pay and set them up to fail.

If nothing else, understand this! Bullies hate to be outshone, outdone, or beaten at anything! Nobody deserves bullying. Ever! Bullying is harmful and can destroy someone’s life.

There are myths about bullying that don’t help.

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 2. Bullies are brave, strong, cool, exciting, and in control.

Ha! Bullies are the opposite of these things. Let’s explain further.

Bullies are brave.

Nope! Bullies are great, big cowards, but they’re good at hiding it. Bullies live by the motto that strength comes in numbers, so they run around in packs. They hide their cowardice behind groups of sycophants or flying monkeys.

You will never catch a bully alone because a bully doesn’t know how to stand alone. Their followers are there to support them and do their bidding.

Bullies get their power from an entourage. Without their wingmen to cover them, they would be powerless.

Bullies are strong.

No! Bullies are weak. However, they hide that behind a veneer of aggression and false bravado. Understand that bullies draw their power from the fear they instill in others.

What bullies are is a bunch of bluffs, blowhards, and windbags. The tough act they put on is a way they hide their weaknesses.

Bullies are cool.

Wrong! Bullies are pathetic. They bluff, they posture, and they one-up people. They always have to be better than anyone else.

All of this are signs of insecurity and self-loathing. Because if they were secure in themselves, they wouldn’t resort to this kind of buffoonery.

Is Bullying Natural?

Bullies are exciting.

They may seem exciting at first, but they quickly become boring. Why? Because they’ll talk incessantly about themselves.

They will brag and showboat until you’ll want to chew off your arm to get away from them. And they won’t be so exciting once they turn on you.

Bullies are in control.

Really? Is that what you want to call it? Um… not!

Bullies can’t control themselves and their own pathetic lives. So, they seek to control you to feel powerful. And in doing that, they not only create victims, they also develop enemies who hate them with a passion.

If you’re a bully, you may only control someone to a certain degree. You may put the fear of God in them. But you’ll never control what they think of you and how they feel about you.

Why? Because the mind and thoughts are free. And if you run across a person who has a strong sense of self and doesn’t fall for your guff, what are you going to do then?

Is Bullying Natural?

Myth 3. “Bullying is a normal rite of passage that all kids endure.”

Not so. There’s nothing normal about bullying. It’s perverse, twisted, and sick.

Bullying only speaks volumes about their own mental imbalance and lack of character. A bully’s behavior doesn’t reflect on you. It only reflects on them.

And the more we learn about bullying, the more evidence we seem to get that supports this.

Myth 4. Bullying builds character.

No, it doesn’t. It tears it down. Why? Because it erodes the confidence you were born with. It causes anxiety because, when you’re bullied, you no longer feel safe.

Myth 5. Bullying is only Natural Selection and Survival of the Fittest.

It may be a dark part of human nature. But a reason doesn’t equal an excuse. Bullies and their enablers often use this little line as an excuse to normalize their pathetic behavior.

It’s important to dispel these myths. So, do not fall for this garbage.

Never blame yourself for other people’s crappy behavior. Hold on to your truth. And if anyone rattles off any of the above lines to you when you speak out against bullying, counter them and do it with conviction.

Is Bullying Natural?

In Closing:

Bullies are all about abusing others, then making excuses for it. Even bystanders and schools make excuses for bullies. And the myths only serve to encourage bullies and blame victims.

However, bullying is harmful, and it can be dangerous to victims! The effects are often devastating.

Therefore, the next time someone bullies you and makes excuses for it, call them out on their bullshit. And do it straight to their faces.

See their behavior for what it is. Abuse!

This post was all about whether bullying is natural so that you can recognize hogwash and counter it confidently.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying Myths: 5 Widely-Held Beliefs about Bullies and Victims 

2. Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

popularity and bullying in school

Popularity and Bullying

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‘Want to know how popularity and bullying can go hand in hand. Here is all the information you need to know.

popularity and bullying

In this post, you will learn about popularity and bullying so that you can call it out and protect yourself from it.

Once you learn all the ins and outs of this kind of bullying, you will be able to recognize it, call it out, predict your bullies’ behavior, and defend yourself.

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you can recognize how they connect and protect yourself from popular bullies.

Popularity and bullying

Most popular people like to bully others. It’s just what they do. Here’s why they do it and what you can do to protect yourself.

Bullying for Increased Social Status

Bullies not only use bullying to control you. They also use it as a vehicle to achieve a higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that, when someone bullies you, their social status rises, while yours falls. They benefit at your expense.

For many, having their peers admire them is the end-all be-all. It adds more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth.

One can achieve an elevated social status through wealth and material possessions. However, they can attain it through bullying if the bully lacks financial means.

On the other hand, if the bully does have material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

It’s not something he feels he must do to raise his status. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

Popularity and Bullying:

Why DO popular people bully?

1. Because they have social capital.

It’s because they have the social capital to protect them from wrongdoing. Bullies with social capital are the most destructive

These are the bullies who enjoy the most social connections and friends in high places. A vast majority of people either think well of them or fear them.

This includes classmates at school and coworkers at work. They can also be those in the neighborhood or community.

Bullies can be the “cool kids” at school, the “Good Old Boys” clique at work, or the dominant group in town. These bullies can also include local politicians, businessmen, or members of prominent families in a particular area.

Their popularity is their weapon.

It doesn’t matter how much money you have, it’s how much power you have.

Although money does help, these folks don’t necessarily have to be rich to have these connections. I’ve known many who were quite poor and had a lot of power. Why? Because of the relationships they maintained with influential people.

What gives them the power they have is their connections with the right people. This is why bullies in these select groups are particularly dangerous and can cause you the most harm.

These types of bullies proactively build a network of social relationships. Moreover, they do this to reinforce their power and get protection from any accountability for wrongdoing.

In many cases, they already have well-established ties that date back several years. I can’t stress this enough. So, I’ll repeat it.

Those who are popular do not have to be rich. In fact, most of them aren’t. I’ve met many people who were poor but popular, and wealthy individuals who weren’t.

Money does not equal popularity.

Popularity and Bullying:

Bullies with social connections.

Bullies build connections that benefit them with protection and keep them above reproach. Moreover, these connections give them carte blanche to ride roughshod over anyone freely and with impunity.

They may perpetuate a culture of bullying.

These are the types who will watch their enemies closely. They know they have good name recognition. Therefore, they take advantage of it.

Whenever a bully has a significant amount of social capital, others are less likely to risk pissing them off. Why? Because they may become the next target.

And chances are that if they target you, their groupies and flying monkeys will only follow their lead.

Bullies with power have many wannabes who surround them. These groupies will bully you simply because it’s what the bigger bullies expect of them.

This is why the most popular and well-connected bullies get away with deplorable behavior. Heck! They can do anything they want to anyone.

Therefore, if you become a target of one of them, they will use their influence and connections to destroy every aspect of your life. And they’ll never stop coming after you.

Popular bullies are very influential, persuasive, and, most of all, convincing.

It’s how they were able to achieve their popularity in the first place.

Their names alone carry significant weight behind them. They possess trust, mutual understanding, and shared values and behaviors that promote unity and strengthen their group.

When one of these bullies says something, others, even those outside their circle, listen.  And they take their word as fact!

Popularity and Bullying:

Sacred Cows.

I call these people “sacred cows”. Why?  Because they are the most popular. They have the most power and influence in a school, corporation, or community. They have so much of it that others don’t dare question or speak against them, even if they’re wrong.

In fact, they may get rewarded for their behavior.

Therefore, with sacred cows, people may not necessarily like them. They may even hate them but, you can be sure that they fear them.

So, even haters are careful not to speak against them publicly or within earshot of the wrong people.

If you’re a target of bullies who have social capital, know that they can make your life hell. They can tarnish your name with smear campaigns.

And others will believe it simply because of who the rumors and lies come from. They can also cause the loss of your job and block you from finding new employment. As a result, these bullies can rob you of your ability to make a living.

Popularity can be a powerful weapon!

These bullies can destroy your ability to make new friends because others will be too afraid to associate with you. In other words, you become radioactive!

When bullies are popular and well-liked, no one wants to do anything that might upset them. Therefore, they play it safe and avoid you like a bad disease.

If you own a business, bullies with popularity can discourage customers from patronizing it. They can also have their worker bees set fire to it and burn it down.

And don’t put it past them to trump up false charges against you. They may set you up to be arrested.

For example, if they know a few crooked law enforcement officers, they may have them pull you over on the way home from work.

And these bad cops may plant drugs in your car to have an excuse to throw you in the slammer. If that doesn’t work, they may send henchmen to visit you or meet you on the street somewhere.

Popularity and Bullying:

These bullies are the biggest crooks because they’re popular.

Your self-esteem can also take a harder hit because of these bullies’ popularity. And you’re likely to be paralyzed with fear, especially if you’re a kid in school.

Here are a few things you can do to insulate yourself from popular bullies.

Remember that even the most popular bullies have enemies. And some of those enemies may be just as powerful. Also, bear in mind that you aren’t the only person these creeps have bullied.

There were others before you, and there will be others after you. Bullies with popularity love to throw their weight around. And if they can’t do it with you, they’ll find someone else to buffalo.

Build your own social capital.

Find out who else these brutes have tormented. Then, befriend and align yourself with them..

If you can find those who were once a part of the bullies’ circle but were ousted, that’s even better! These former friends likely have private and sensitive information about each of the bullies.

Moreover, they probably know some damaging info about their sycophants as well. These individuals will likely be seeking some form of retribution.

Therefore, they’ll be only too happy to give you all the juicy details!

Establish tight connections with your fellow victims. Cozy up to anyone the bullies have double-crossed. Band together with them. Why? Because nothing unites people like the shared anger and hatred toward an enemy.

Popularity and Bullying:

Establish connections with your bullies’ enemies.

Pal around with them. Eat out with them. Be sure you’re seen with as many of these victims as possible. This will provide you with a little protection!

The more targets and outcasts you connect and bond with, the better! And always have their backs and make sure they have yours!

Also, make friends, take jobs, and seize opportunities that are outside the bullies’ element. If necessary and all else fails, consider moving to a new area.

Tell no one of your plans or where you’re moving to. Sometimes, it’s just best to vanish!

Do these things, and you’ll be much safer!

This post is all about popularity and bullying, so that you know what to expect from popular bullies and ways to protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Reward Bullies

2. Reasons Why People Bully – 7 Most Common Motives

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

why do schools protect bullies reddit

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

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Why do schools protect bullies? This is the question on the minds of most school bullying victims. If you’re one of them, here are all the detailed reasons you need to know.

why do schools protect bullies

When a student is bullied and reports the abuse, many schools will protect the bullies instead of the kid who needs protection. They never hold them accountable for their bad behavior. Instead, they blame the victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the answers you need to know.

Once you learn all the answers and the details around them, you will no longer need to ask, “Why do schools protect bullies?”. Moreover, you will realize that protecting yourself from bullying is your responsibility. And you will feel better about taking the initiative and standing up to your bullies.

This post will give you all the answers when you ask, “Why do schools protect bullies,” so that you will no longer let it confuse you.

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

If you’re bullied in school, you should follow the proper channels. You can report the bullying to your teachers and the principal. It’s only legal.

However, when you are bullied and report the abuse, many schools will only protect the bullies and blame you.

There are several reasons why schools protect bullies. However, first, let’s discuss how and why they attempt to conceal bullying.

Why do schools try to hide bullying?

Here are all the ways schools try to hide bullying.

1. They vehemently deny bullying in their facilities.

The reason they do this is to protect the school’s reputation and that of the school district. Bullying has been a topic of widespread news coverage over the last twenty-five years or so.

Moreover, the last thing any school wants is to be plastered all over the media because of a bullying incident. Therefore, they will deny that anything happened to cover it up.

2. They don’t contact the victim’s parents.

When a bully injures a child, schools often fail to report the incident to the child’s parents.  Moreover, they refuse to show any videos of bullying or fights to the bullied child’s parents. I’ve read about this many times.

Again, the reason they do this is to prevent the school’s reputation from being tarnished. Additionally, this also protects the bullies.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

They answer any questions with vague statements or refuse to comment AT ALL.

The reason schools do this is to confuse the parents. They also do it to stonewall them and make them go away.

They think that if your parents give up, everything can go back to the way it was, and they won’t have to worry about their school’s reputation taking a hit.

4. They Retaliate against the bullied kid or their family.

When your parents get involved and refuse to shut up about the bullying, your school may retaliate. This doesn’t happen often, but it happens.

How schools retaliate against Bullied Students.

Many schools are vindictive toward bullied students and families who refuse to shut up about incidents of bullying. Here are the ways they retaliate.

1. They threaten to call Children’s Services

Schools do this to scare your parents into being quiet. If they can put you at risk of being removed from your home, they are more likely to silence you and your family.

Additionally, this shifts the negative spotlight away from the school and onto your family.

2. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to ban your parents from the school.

Parents who complain about bullying pose a threat to the school. Therefore, the school may ban the parent from school property.

If the parent is violent, then the school should ban them. However, in many cases, the parent did not resort to violence. All they did was simply bring up a bullying incident, and that was all it took for the school to ban them.

No. This doesn’t happen every day. Some schools do protect bullied kids. However, they are few and far between. And the bullying of innocent parents does happen. And it’s heartbreaking.

3. They have your parents arrested.

Again, if the parent comes to the school threatening violence and acting like a fool, I’m all for banning them and having them arrested.

However, many innocent parents have been arrested for simply addressing bullying. Sometimes this happens even if the parent handles the situation with diplomacy.

I’ve read many heartbreaking stories about similar situations.

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to Threaten you.

This happened to me years ago. Because I defended myself against many bullies, the staff made out an unruly child report and almost had me sent away.

Fortunately, I dodged that bullet. But many bullied victims don’t. And it’s sad.

5. They have you arrested and sent to the juvenile detention center.

I’ve read many stories of innocent bullying victims being sent away to juvenile detention because they fought their bullies in self-defense.

Unfortunately, zero-tolerance policies often fail to deter bullying. Sometimes, they get innocent kids in trouble for simply trying to defend themselves from physically violent bullies.

6. Why do schools protect bullies?

It’s easier to hide behind Sovereign Immunity.

Also, understand that schools have Sovereign Immunity and they will hide behind it. Sovereign Immunity is the stipulation that protects federal or state entities from litigation.

Therefore, it’s difficult to file a lawsuit against a school or school district. Parents have filed lawsuits against schools. And, yes, some have even won those lawsuits.

However, the statistics for successful cases are low.

This is why Sovereign Immunity for schools must be abolished. Moreover, they must be held accountable if a bullied student is maimed, murdered, or dies from suicide.

So, why do schools protect bullies?

1. Because the bullies have connections to people in power.

In other words, they are connected to local politicians and crime kingpins. This is especially true in small towns.

It’s because schools are afraid of pissing off those in power. If they suspend the bullies, their grades will likely drop.

Then, their powerful parents, who are likely to be adult bullies, would show up the next morning. They will demand to know why their little darlings were suspended.

If nothing else, know this. In most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about who has the most power.

In other words, most people care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

2. Why do schools protect bullies?

Because the bullies often score high academically, which makes the school look good.

Schools are rated by the grades their students receive. Their graduation and dropout rates are also taken into account.

Therefore, if a school can maintain a high graduation rate and a low dropout rate, it enhances its reputation. In short, they look good.

Therefore, why would the school side with anyone other than its brightest stars and highest achievers?

If schools can crank out college candidates with high honors, all the better. And sadly, because of bullying, many targets drop out.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

The bullies are athletes on the school sports teams.

Many bullies are stars of the school’s sports teams. Let’s face it. Schools have an interest in their sports teams.

They want to win games and to win in regional, state, and national championships. Why? Because it bolsters the school’s image.

And what school board member or principal wouldn’t want these things?

If the school has an excellent reputation, it’s likely to have a larger number of attending students. And more parents will likely want their kids to attend.

And the more students a school has, the more funding it receives from its state. Therefore, schools have a vested interest in maintaining a positive image.

4. The bullies are on the cheerleading squad and in sororities and fraternities.

Only students with good grades and high marks are accepted into these groups. So, it goes without saying. If they make superior grades, the school will protect them.

5. Why do schools protect bullies?

The bullies’ parents are boosters.

In other words, they are those who provide funding for the school’s programs. And trust me when I say that schools won’t risk losing these funders!

Therefore, schools will always side with the bullies and blame you because appealing to any entity’s self-interest equals POWER! And most victims of bullying, I’m sorry to say, don’t have the power that bullies have.

Remember that an imbalance of power is a primary characteristic of bullying.

6. The bullies suck up to faculty.

Like it or not, most people in power love being sucked up to. Teachers and school officials are no exception. Therefore, sucking up gives bullies many brownie points.

And school staff will protect bullies. And they will do it out of loyalty.

Why do schools protect bullies?

Schools THAT bully parents

Schools have more power than you realize. If their reputation is at risk, they will do anything to silence you and your family. They will take measures to prevent anything bad from getting out.

Sadly, many parents of bullied kids are single. And they are raising children on one paycheck. How do they fight against such powerful entities?

Understand that school officials are elected officials- politicians. And schools will protect their reputations at all costs.

How Parents can protect their children from bullying

1. Put in for a school transfer.

Although not always feasible, transferring your child to a new school is one of the best things you can do for them. A transfer will give them a fresh start with a clean slate.

And, because they’ve had no history with the other students at the new school, it will be much easier for them to make friends there.

However, what if you can’t afford it? Luckily, there’s a government program called school choice. With the school choice program, you get vouchers to send your child to any school they want to attend, even a private school.

Ways you can appeal to the school’s interests and level the playing field

If you can find a way to appeal to the school’s self-interest, then you have an ace in the hole. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Excel and keep your grades up.

I realize that this can be hard to do when you’re a target of relentless bullying. Bullying can break your concentration.

Instead of focusing on schoolwork, you naturally focus on ways to be safe. That’s completely understandable. However, you must make your bullies your motivation to excel.

There’s nothing wrong with compensating. And sometimes you must compensate to buffer your self-esteem and protect your mental health.

Therefore, if you lack friends and social connections, compensate for this by excelling in academics and improving your class performance.

It will pay huge dividends. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself.

3. Find ways to benefit the school with your talents and gifts.

If you can use your talents to bolster the school’s image, that’s a win for you. And the school will more likely support and protect you from bullies.

If you can sing, join the school choir and win in the all-state championships. Not only will you look good, but your school will also look good!

In closing:

It’s a fact that most schools ignore bullying and protect bullies. Bullies get away with bullying all the time, and some teachers may join in on the torment. It’s heartbreaking.

But don’t give up. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

This post answered the question, “Why do schools protect bullies” to get rid of any confusion and bewilderment you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers 

3. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

sub-types of bullies and how to deal with them

Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

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Understanding the sub-types of bullies is crucial. It’s not just about knowing there are types of bullies, but also recognizing the sub-types. Here’s everything you need to know to protect yourself.

sub-types of bullies

Types of bullies include physical bullies, verbal bullies, cyberbullies, social bullies, and so on. With sub-types, we go deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about all the sub-types of bullies so that you can easily identify them when they come for you.

Once you learn all about these categories of bullies, you will be better equipped to defend yourself from bullying and ensure your safety.

This post is all about the sub-types of bullies so that you know who they are and can better protect yourself.

Sub-types of Bullies

Bullies come in different kinds. You can never assume how your bullies will react, as different people respond to other things in various ways.

Speak out against and expose some bullies, and they might leave you alone. Talk about others, and they’ll go to the ends of the earth to get back at you.

Therefore, you must tailor your defense strategies to the particular bully you’re dealing with. To do this, you must be able to distinguish the blowhards from the truly vindictive.

You must differentiate between the smart and the foolish. You must also separate the aggressive and the passive-aggressive.

Never deal blindly with bullies. Why? Because if you handle them willy-nilly, you’ll be at their mercy. And they’ll toss you around like a tornado tosses debris.

To successfully combat bullying, it is essential to recognize the various personality types. Otherwise, you won’t survive.

Here are all the personality types (sub-types) of bullies you likely deal with.

1. Bullies with Narcissism

They may try to hide it. However, their self-importance gives them away. They have excessive pride and an overly inflated sense of entitlement.

All this combined makes them dangerous. They believe they are beyond reproach. Therefore, if they think for a moment that you slighted them, they will pay you back with severe brutality.

Logic and rationality don’t apply to these people. They overreact to what even looks like opposition.

Sub-Types of Bullies:

All you don’t have to do anything to them for them to come after you.

You don’t have to provoke them. In fact, you don’t have to do anything at all. All you have to do is be good at something. In other words, if you outdo them at anything, they’ll take offense to it.

They’ll call you a showoff and take it as you’re trying to be better than them. And they’ll make you pay dearly. If you get recognition for a project well done, these people won’t tolerate it. They hate being in anyone’s shadow!

Bullies with narcissism are usually in the popular crowd at school or in management at work.

Don’t bother trying to second-guess them. Avoid them like the plague! Because they live to cause pain.

It’s in their psychology.

2. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Arrogant Bullies

Arrogant bullies don’t have to have narcissism. Why? Because, in many cases, arrogance comes from insecurity. People may put on an air of arrogance to hide their insecurities.

This kind of bully may have low self-esteem, but they hide that by acting like they’re better than you.

They are a close second to the bullies with narcissism. The only thing that separates them from the narcs is that the narcs really do think they’re superior.

However, the arrogant bullies want you to think they’re superior.

These bullies are harder to spot and less violent. Like those with narcissism, they have extremely fragile egos.

They are highly insecure. Moreover, if they dislike you, they’ll attack in small nibbles. You won’t realize it until they begin taking bigger swipes at you.

These bullies are usually the wannabes. They are groupies to the popular crowd at school or the suck-ups to management at work.

Avoid these people as well because they will bully you to prove their worth to the popular crowd.

3. Suspicious Bullies

These bullies only see the worst in you. They see you as a threat and think that you’re out to get them when you aren’t.

Suspicious bullies aren’t as dangerous as the previous two. You can fool these bullies much easier. And sometimes you must resort to trickery to protect yourself.

To counter these bullies, you must use their suspicions and turn them to someone else. As long as they’re bullying someone else, they’re leaving you alone.

4. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those with photographic memories

These bullies never forget you. If you were to run into them again 30 years later, you can bet that they will target you again. They’ll pick up where they left off.

If you’re a target of these bullies, they won’t show their hatred outwardly. But they will keep their eyes on you.

They’ll lie in wait as they plot. Then, when the time is right, they’ll exact their brutality with a frigid coldness. These bullies are usually stoic.

To protect yourself, you must punish these bullies so severely that they won’t even think of coming for you again.

5. Bullies who aren’t very bright

These individuals are easy to counter and won’t anticipate your counterattack. These are the bullies you can most easily defend yourself against. Also, they’re easy to expose.

Again, you must know your bullies if you expect to overcome them. Knowing your bullies means understanding their personalities and being able to predict their future actions.

Only then will you be able to protect yourself against them.

6. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Passive-Aggressive Bullies

These types of bullies are slick with their attacks. They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out if it’s you they’re aiming their attacks at.

Sometimes, you don’t even know until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. In other words, you may not know they’re talking about you.

However, bystanders will immediately know who the covert nastiness was meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearer from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head.

As a result, you end up looking like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time. The bully’s words are vague and unclear. But they’ll still nibble at your self-esteem.

Passive-aggressive bullies are cowards.

They take a chunk out of your pride, whether you want them to or not. Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

The bully and a few others think they’re being cute and witty. And they slap you with burn after burn. However, see these people for who they are and why they’re so slick with their mouths.

They’re nothing but cowards. Why? Because they lack the courage to make a direct attack. They’re afraid of how you might respond, so they hit you with sneak attacks to stun you into silence.

Here’s how you protect yourself from these creeps. Learn to read between the lines. Also, learn to read the room when they get slick-mouthed with you.

Also, listen to your gut. If you have a bad feeling in the pit of your stomach, don’t ignore it.

Watch the people around you. Notice their reactions. Also pay attention to any clusters. If you see any of these expressions below, you are the target of the insult.

  • Witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth
  • They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
  • You hear light gasps and grunts of shock from the “audience.”
  • Their faces suddenly change and mouths slightly gape open.
  • You hear soft but derisive giggles, chuckles, or laughter
  • You see or hear snickering

If you notice any of these things, let the bully have it!

7. Sub-Types of Bullies:

Those who are easily Offended

For people who love to dish out the bullshit, bullies are the most easily offended. They have such fragile egos that it takes zero effort to offend them.

Understand that people who are easily offended take things completely out of context. They attach meaning to your behavior when it’s completely devoid of personal meaning.

Even if you are neutral, these bullies will find ways to turn it into a personal affront or confrontation.

With these pansies, it’s always:

  • “She doesn’t agree with everything I say, do, and think, so that means she doesn’t like me!”
  • “He has a different opinion than me, so that means he’s looking down his nose at me!”
  • “She doesn’t like the same things I like, so that means she hates me!”

When they do this, they presume to know what you’re thinking and feeling.

In Closing

In life, you will run into all kinds of bullies. This is why you must understand their personality types so that you can better predict their behavior. Then, you can tailor your defense tactics

This post was all about the sub-Types of bullies so that you can predict their next move and tailor your defense against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

2. Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure