Benefits of Setting Boundaries

January 14, 2025December 30, 2024Leave a comment

‘Want to know the benefits of setting boundaries? It just may surprise you. If you only knew what those advantages are, you’ll definitely be more motivated to establish limits with others

When you set boundaries, you communicate to people what you will and will not tolerate from them. Also, you let them know what consequences they can expect if they violate those boundaries.

Anytime you establish boundaries, chance are that people will understand where your limits are and they’ll likely adapt their behavior. However, people who are human predators won’t acknowledge your boundaries and may even see them as a challenge.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of setting boundaries. Also, you’ll learn how to deal with people who refuse to respect those limits.

Once you learn about all this essential life-tips, you will be more compelled to set boundaries without fear nor guilt. Moreover, you’ll be brave enough to stand up to those who cross the line.

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries and how to enforce those boundaries so that you can live a peaceful life without any disruptions.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

So, what are the benefits of setting boundaries?

1. You get to know yourself better.

In other words, you have a greater sense of identity. You won’t be afraid to be yourself. Moreover, you’ll know who you are and what you want. And there’s so much more that comes with it.

You get to know your likes and dislikes and, more importantly, the things you will and will not tolerate.

When you finally come to know yourself, the level of self-acceptance will be off the charts! You’ll learn to embrace your own thoughts, beliefs and convictions.

In that, you realize that everyone is different and no two people are the same. Therefore, you give yourself permission to also be different. Moreover, you’ll be okay with making mistakes. Let’s face it, we all make those!

This is such sweet freedom!

2. You begin loving yourself more.

The more you love yourself, the least likely you are to put up with anyone’s BS. Moreover, you’ll least likely be afraid to go after what you want.

This could be a great paying job or better relationships.

Also, you’ll be less likely to worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you’ll know that you’re a great person no matter what anyone else says.

Loving yourself means treating yourself well. And how you treat yourself defends on how you let others treat you. Boundaries (or lack of) are the way you teach others how to treat you.

Moreover, they signal to others whether or not you respect yourself. And if you don’t give yourself respect, chances are that no one else will either. Instead, they’ll only use you as a doormat.

Therefore, once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll learn to love and respect yourself more. As a result, others may adjust their attitudes and behavior and begin giving you respect.

Do you know what the best part is? You’ll be willing to drop anyone who sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And you’ll do it without guilt.

Therefore, you’ll earn respect not only from yourself but others as well.

3. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You Skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, you’ll like yourself. You’ll also have a better attitude about life and the world around you. Also, self-doubt won’t even be an issue. Instead, you’ll trust yourself to make the right life-choices.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and in your effect on others. In turn, those around you will be more confident in you. The best part is that , you’ll be okay with your flaws and limitations. Therefore, others most likely won’t pay attention to them either.

Moreover, you’ll believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can get to anywhere you want to go. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do something, you’ll be that much more determined to get it done!

You won’t allow bullies to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Instead, you’ll only deep your heels in deeper and double down on your efforts to complete your goals. You’ll use your bullies, haters and naysayers as your rocket fuel! And you’ll put in the work and overcome the obstacles to attain that goal.

When you raise your self-esteem, you won’t fear taking on new challenges and trying new things. In fact, you will be excited to do so!

And lastly, you will know your worth and have a deeper sense of security!

4. You’ll Reduce your stress levels.

Life won’t stress you out as much because you’ll be more relaxed. In other words, you won’t let life’s little annoyances get to you. As a result, you’ll be more successful at solving problems.

In other words, you’ll be able to work through adversity and stare trouble in the face. You’ll even have patience because you’ll be confident that everything will work out eventually.

Social anxiety will be a thing of the past because you will be comfortable in your own skin. Again, this comes from not caring what others think of you.

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll increase your productivity.

Your productivity will automatically rise because you’ll be able to make time to work on your own goals. You’ll use that time wisely, making every second count.

At the same time, you’ll allow yourself rest periods and avoid overworking yourself. And you’ll put your priorities first, then take care of others.

6. You’ll value your solitude a lot more.

In other words, you won’t be afraid to be alone. Why? Because you’ll understand that being alone doesn’t be being lonely. Instead, you’ll value solitude because you’ll be able to focus on your tasks and get more done.

7. You’ll be able to focus more on your goals.

Again, when you set boundaries, you will accomplish more because you’ll have higher mental focus.

8. You’ll enjoy better relationships.

Why? Because because others will more likely respect your boundaries. Moreover, you won’t be afraid to get rid of those who don’t.

Therefore, you’ll have less bullies, abusers, and users in your life.

And the best part is that you’ll attract even more healthy people into your life. Remember that like attracts like.

9. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You’ll keep your circle small.

In other words, you’ll be satisfied with only a handful of friends. Popularity will no longer matter to you.

To you, quality will matter more than quantity. Therefore, you’ll enjoy relationships that are much more rewarding!

10. You’ll take care of your health and hygiene.

You’ll make it a point to shower or bathe regularly. Moreover, you’ll eat well and make sure to exercise to maintain your strength and endurance.

You’ll also get plenty of rest. You’ll be sure to dress your best and look your best. Why? Because when you look good, you feel good!

You’ll also give yourself permission to take breaks from tasks if you need to.

11. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You won’t be afraid to enforce those boundaries.

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them is another.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, you understand that once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

And you’re not afraid to do that. In fact, you’re willing to take that risk to protect your peace of mind.

When you do, no amount of guilt trips or manipulation will sway you. You warned them, they didn’t believe you, and you realize that the only way they’ll take you seriously is to make believers out of them.

Therefore, you’ll do what you have to do to let the creeps know that you mean business. You’ll be willing to impose consequences, whether through fisticuffs or sending their butts to the door and telling them never to come back.

12. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll have improved mental and emotional health.

Because you enjoy healthier relationships with people who love and respect you and you score accomplishment after accomplishment, your emotional and mental health will drastically improve!

Put all these things together and your life can only improve!

In conclusion

Setting boundaries is important for a happy and peaceful life. Therefore, you must not be afraid to keep the bullies and jerks out. Remember that you have one life to live and it’s way too short. Therefore, love yourself enough to do what you must do to protect your peace.

Stop allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for other people’s problems. Take care of yourself. Focus on your goals and priorities. And more importantly, set boundaries and reap the rewards that come afterward!

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries to motivate you to set your own and take your life back.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

Lack of Boundaries: 15 Signs You Need to Get Some

December 16, 2024November 17, 20242 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of a lack of boundaries? Here are the signs you need to set boundaries and how to do it.

When you don’t have any boundaries, others will notice and take advantage of you. Moreover, you triple your chances of experiencing bullying.

In this post you will learn all the signs that you lack boundaries and what to do to establish them. Also, you’ll learn how to set and enforce those boundaries.

Once you learn all these indications, it will prompt you to take the steps needed to win back your autonomy, self-respect, and dignity. Moreover, you will became proactive in improving your relationships, your mental health, and your life.

Lack of Boundaries

When you have no boundaries, it can turn your world upside down. Why? Because you only leave yourself vulnerable to human predators.

In other words, others have no incentive to respect you.

Instead, they’ll make you responsible for their happiness and expect you to overextend yourself for their benefit. This is no way to live and life’s too short.

So,

What are the Signs You need to Begin establishing your boundaries?

1. You have toxic relationships

The people in your life have no respect for you. They only use you for their own benefit. Moreover, they manipulate you to get you to do what they want you to do. And if you don’t do what they tell you, they’ll then find ways to punish you for it.

Toxic people may punish you by refusing to talk to you. Also, they may lay guilt trips on you to make you feel bad.

Therefore, here’s what you do. You start by having no more to do with them. Stop associating with those who use and abuse you. There’s no law that says you have to hang around with them. You must begin making yourself less available and begin taking care of your own needs and priorities.

Moreover, understand that setting boundaries also means enforcing them when the need to do so arises. Also, know that it’s an ongoing process.

This is how you create your value and communicate your worth.

2. Another Sign of a lack of boundaries is that you seem to attract bullies, users, and abusers into your life.

When you don’t protect yourself from human predators, others will notice. And they will try establishing friendships with you just to use you.

Also, bullies and abusers will think they can abuse you and get away with it. Therefore, they’ll come around just to mistreat you and make themselves feel powerful.

Remember that the purpose of setting boundaries is to protect yourself

Therefore, impose consequences for this kind of behavior. In other words, when someone mistreats you, you respond in kind. Also, you cut off communication with them.

3. You hold on to toxic relationships.

Why do you do this? It’s because you have low self-esteem. People have convinced you that your needs and wants don’t matter. Moreover, you don’t think you can ever attain better connections. Therefore, you desperately cling to the very ones who treat you like garbage.

But realize that you must gather the courage to go no contact. You deserve people who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself, not those who bring you down!

You may be alone for a while. However, wouldn’t you rather be by yourself than to be around those who suck the energy out of you?

Understand that it won’t be easy. You may have to wait a while before better people find you. However, know that once you discard those who mistreat you, you make room for those who are healthier and they will eventually come along. I guarantee it!

4. When you have a lack of boundaries, You Repel Healthier People.

Those who are happy and healthy won’t want to be around you. They may even reject you. Why? Because no one wants to be around anyone with low self-esteem.

Realize that people pick up on energy, especially low energy! Moreover, those who have low self-esteem put off low vibrations.

Therefore, happier people would rather be around those who are just as happy as they are.

Start setting boundaries and do it today! The sooner you do, the happier you’ll be, the better vibes you’ll exude, and you’ll start attracting those of higher quality!

5. You’re afraid of conflict and rejection.

You don’t stand up to people because you fear making them angry. Moreover, you’re running from conflict.

However. realize that conflict and rejection are both a part of life. This is a reality that you must accept and expect.

Setting boundaries means that you must embrace the possibility of conflict. And when someone gets offended at your boundaries and decides to lash out, you must face it head-on.

Also, expect things to get worse before they get better. Why? Because those of low integrity will be resistant to your newly established boundaries at first. And why not? They’ve grown quite comfortable with the way things were and they won’t like the change!

Nevertheless, you must continue to stand your ground and not give one tiny inch!

6. You Forgive too much when you have a lack of boundaries.

Forgiveness is a good thing but it doesn’t mean foolishness. In other words, you mustn’t overuse it. Also, you must be selective in who you give it to.

People who are genuine will see it as a second chance to repair the relationship and do better. Whereas, human predators will only see it as weakness and keep doing the same things they’ve been doing.

Therefore, don’t forgive so much.

7. You don’t say no.

Instead, you say yes to things you don’t want to do because you’re afraid of making others angry. Saying no is essential to take care of yourself.

You must understand that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s and you’re not wrong for putting yourself first.

Saying no automatically sets a boundary. “No” is a tiny word but holds enormous power. On the other hand, there is zero power in saying yes.

Therefore, stop being too scared to say no and begin saying it more often. If it offends others, then they aren’t worth having! Ditch those creeps!

8. a lack of boundaries means staying silent when others mistreat you.

If nothing else, know this! No one has a right to abuse you and you are well within your rights to defend yourself when they do. Therefore, don’t be quiet about it. Speak up!

Let the creep know in no uncertain terms that they’re out of line and you will not tolerate their behavior. And say it like you mean it!

You do this by looking them straight in the eyes and using a firm, booming voice. And don’t stop looking at them until they take their eyes off you.

This is how you set firm boundaries.

9. You’re afraid to make Your own decisions.

Why? Because you fear making other people angry. However, realize that only you are living your life, not theirs.

Therefore, who are they to tell you what you can and can’t do? Start making your own decisions. And to hell with them if they don’t like it!

Why should you give a hoot what others think? Tell them to keep their nose out of your business!

10. When you have a lack of boundaries, You apologize too much.

There are some things that just don’t warrant an apology. Period! Others will walk all over you if you overdo the I’m sorries.

Also, they’ll see it as confirmation that you’re in the wrong. Only apologize when you must.

11. You people-Please.

People-pleasing is never good because you place the needs of others over your own. It’s one thing to put your child’s needs ahead of yours. That’s normal.

However, when you put everyone else’s needs first, you place your own needs last.

But why do you do this?

You do it because you don’t want to make people angry or hurt their feelings. But those who are really concerned for you wouldn’t be offended by your taking care of yourself too.

Therefore, you should get rid of those who have a problem with your prioritizing your needs. They’re a waste of your time and energy!

12. When you have a lack of boundaries, you have increased stress levels.

And why not? When you have no boundaries, people use you as a doormat to wipe their nasty feet on.

They use you for their own benefit and disrespect your time. Moreover, they talk down to you and tell you what you can and can’t do. Then, they get angry when you’re not available at their beck and call.

It’s as if you live for their convenience and purposes.

Therefore, buck up! Gather the courage to put an end to their nonsense once and for all! Start telling them no and mean it! And if they have a problem with it, show them the door! Fast!

13. You’re too agreeable.

You are entitled to your own opinions. Moreover, you have a right to voice those opinions. Understand that you aren’t going to agree with everyone all the time. And you shouldn’t.

When you’re too agreeable, others take notice of it and lose respect for you. Moreover, you’ll attract those who will take advantage of you.

Therefore, don’t be too scared to disagree. And if others get offended over it, they aren’t worth your time.

Get rid of them.

14. When you have a lack of boundaries, You lose your sense of self.

In other words, you don’t know who you are anymore. You lose sight of your likes and dislikes because you’re too focused on those of others.

You’re too busy trying to please others that you don’t take time to do things you enjoy doing.

Isn’t it time you got to know yourself again?

Stop trying so hard to please everyone else and increase your self-knowledge. How you do this is to get some boundaries and stick to them.

Get rid of those who ask too much of you and begin doing things to feed your own soul.

15. You Feel Powerless.

In that, you feel used by everyone, which makes you angry and resentful. Moreover, you may feel powerless to stop it.

However, you have more power than you realize. You may be unable to change other people’s attitudes but you do have the choice of whether to keep them in your life.

Therefore, be brave and give those life-leeches the boot! Start living for yourself. Do things that fill your soul and don’t feel guilty for cutting ties with people who don’t appreciate you.

In conclusion:

Setting boundaries is a peaceable thing to do. It allows you to live in harmony with others. Moreover, it protects your peace, happiness, and overall mental health.

Personal boundaries are what everyone needs to live together in a polite society!

This post was all about the negative consequences that come with a lack of boundaries and what you can do to rectify it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

August 20, 2024August 20, 202417 Comments

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing personal boundaries is another. Therefore, do you want to know what comes with enforcing personal boundaries? Or, vise versa?

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

In this post, you will learn exactly what it means to enforce personal boundaries. Also, you will learn how to go about doing it so that you can better protect yourself against human predators.

After you learn about all these things, you will better and more effectively keep bullies and abusers at bay. Also, you will be able to more successfully protect yourself from all kinds of bullies and abusers.

This post is all about enforcing personal boundaries, what it entails, and how you go about it, so that you can more effectively keep bullies away.

Enforcing Personal Boundaries

As stated earlier, setting boundaries is telling others what you will and will not tolerate and what they can expect from you if they violate one of your boundaries. Enforcing boundaries, on the other hand, is doing what you said you’d do if someone violates them.

Understand that you can set boundaries all day long but if you don’t enforce them, people will pick up on it very quickly. Therefore, they’ll no longer take you seriously.

Moreover, they’ll only see you as making empty threats. People will then step over your boundaries deliberately, just because they can!

This is why enforcing personal boundaries is so important. It’s the step that let’s people know in no uncertain terms that you’re not one to toy around with.

However, setting and enforcing boundaries is never easy, especially if you’re dealing with bullies. Bullies, especially those with narcissistic personality disorder, despise boundaries and will retaliate and lash out at you for daring to have them.

Bullies Despise Boundaries and anyone who has them.

They hate anyone who is their own person and not the person they want them to be. Bullies want conformers and followers, not original, free-thinking individuals.

Moreover, the reason bullies abhor boundaries is because it means that they can’t control you. And when a bully cannot control you, they go into panic mode and will do very desperate things.

The backlash will be even worse, if bullies have grown comfortable with wresting control over you. Why? Because you will automatically take them out of their comfort zones once you take your power back. Then you will have hell to pay if you aren’t careful.

Understand that when you decide you will no longer be controlled by your bullies, the power dynamic automatically changes. The trick is to keep that new power dynamic from rolling back.

You see? Bullies have an entitlement attitude and they want things back to the way they used to be. Therefore, be prepared for them to attempt to try to reclaim power by doing either one or all of the following.

They will be super sweet to you.
They’ll threaten to ruin you socially.
They may verbally or physically attack you.
Or they’ll resort to smearing you to others.
They’ll also lay guilt trips on you.

However, no matter what they do or how they may retaliate, don’t back down. Stick to your guns.

so, what strategies are involved in enforcing personal boundaries?

There are 7.

**1. Don’t Just Mouth It. Mean it!**

Again, you can’t just set boundaries by threatening consequences. You must be prepared to back it up with action (enforcement) if someone sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And the consequences must be severe enough that the person doesn’t want to even think of messing with you again.

2. If they physically attack you, hit them back and make it count.

Anytime a bully lays so much as a finger on you, they are violating your physical boundaries. One of the ways to enforce your physical boundaries is to hit them right back! And when you hit them, make it count!

In other words, hit the bully with enough force that it knocks them down, or at least back a few steps. Instead of only punching them with the strength of your arm, use the strength and weight of your entire body.

Also, hit them dead in the nose. That booger box is the best body part to aim for because a hard blow to the nose stuns a person.

Then, quickly pelt the bully with such a hail of punches that he can’t even think to exchange licks. You must be quick about it because once the bully recovers from the stunning blow and gathers his senses, he will come back at you.

Therefore, unleash a quick-as-lightning rainfall of hard punches to the face and head. And don’t stop until the bully is either down for the count or someone pulls you apart.

3. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: If the Bully is Super Sweet to you, take it with a grain of salt.

In other words, see through the bullies fake, good-guy act.

Anytime bullies start getting chummy with you, there are three reasons.

They want something from you.
Your bullies are trying to set you up for something bad.
They’re trying to bring down your defenses.

Therefore, whatever you do, don’t fall for it!

4. If bullies threaten to ruin you socially, let them.

Even better, tell them to go for it. Chances are good that your bullies have already smeared you to other people and turned them against you. So, what do you have to lose?

And if you do have a few friends they might get to, see this as a test to your friends. In other words, watch your friends closely and see if they go along with it.

Here, you’ll quickly find out whether your friends are really there for you. If your friends believe the bullies’ lies and smears and turn against you, you’ll know that they never were your friends to begin with. Then you can cut them out of your life for good.

On the other hand, if they blow the bullies off and continue to stand with you, you’ll know that they’re true friends and that you can count on them.

5. If they begin screaming, yelling, and cursing you out, put your hand up. Then turn your back and walk away.

Anyone who stands in your face yelling, screaming, and cursing is violating your psychological and emotional boundaries. Therefore, show them that this is not okay.

Put your hand up and walk away. These people do not deserve the privilege of being in your company. However, keep your eyes peeled in case they try to attack you as you’re walking away. People are nuts these days.

And know that if they’re in your face, it’s okay to punch their lights out.

Also, you can look your bullies dead in the eyes, put your hand out like a traffic cop, and tell them to stay the hell away from you.

6. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: If Your Bullies smear you to others, again, let them.

That’s right! Let them talk. Let them try to turn everyone against you.

See your bullies’ behavior for what it is. They’re in panic mode. They’re desperate to get you back under their thumb because they’re deathly afraid of losing control of you.

Also, remember this! If they can’t control you, they will try to control how other people look at you. In their desperation, your bullies will lie. They will spread ugly rumors and they will act like you violated them somehow.

And this bears repeating. If others outside of the conflict side with the bullies by believing their falsehoods, then those others, including the people you thought were friends, do not deserve a seat at your table.

Give them all the boot and do it yesterday!

7. If they lay guilt trips on you, blow them off and be on your way.

In other words, your bullies may make up a story about how they’ve done you a favor in the past. And this will more than likely be something you know doggone well isn’t true.

Moreover, when you call them on it, they might tell you that maybe you’ve forgotten about it or that your memory isn’t serving you correctly.

But don’t let them cause you to doubt yourself. And, for Pete’s sake! Don’t let them make you feel guilty!

Remember your history with them. You know that these people have never done a damn thing for you. They’ve only tried to use, abuse, and puppeteer you.

Therefore, tell them to take a hike!

In Conclusion:

Know that enforcing your boundaries will not be easy, especially once bullies have grown accustomed to controlling you.

Nevertheless, you must, for your own sake and the sake of your mental health, hold firm and double down. If you refuse to give in to your bullies, there’s always a chance they just might leave you alone.

But be prepared just in case they don’t. You might need to either fight like hell or remove yourself from the bullying environment and go to a place where you can make a fresh start.

This post was all about enforcing personal boundaries to give you the strategies you need to stay strong and take care of yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. What to Say Instead of Sorry: 5 Powerful Responses

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

April 23, 2024July 20, 20248 Comments

Do you want to know about setting boundaries and how it can improve your life and your relationships? These powerful practices have changed my life and they will change yours too.

When you’re too afraid to set boundaries, you hand over your power. In that, you doom yourself to a life of use and abuse. But once you lose that fear and begin taking control of your life, I can attest that things will make a dramatic change for the better.

You are going to learn about the importance of setting boundaries and the best practices you can use to do so.

After you learn about all these practices and techniques, you will no longer be afraid to hold your ground when people try to push your limits. Even better, you will take back control of your life!

This post is all about the best ways of setting boundaries that every victim of bullying should know and use.

3 Best ways of setting boundaries

1. If someone violates your boundaries, speak up.

In other words, tell the person to stop and use body language to convey that you mean it. For instance, you could put your hand out like a traffic cop as you tell them to stop. This is good because it will most likely shock the bully.

However, if they keep it up, raise your voice and tell them, “I said stop it, now!” And when you say it, say it confidently and firmly while looking the bully in the eye and giving him a hard glare. Also, make a power pose (hands on hips and feet shoulder-width apart).

The last thing you want to do is to sit or stand in silence and say nothing. You must let the bully know that you aren’t one who will put up with them.

Remember that, In today’s world, bullies and abusers are everywhere and they will violate your boundaries if you allow them to.

Also, remember that bullies don’t respect boundaries because they don’t acknowledge them. In their minds, you’re the victim and you don’t deserve the same human rights as everyone else.

Sadly, many victims of bullying don’t have the confidence they need to set boundaries. They only keep their mouths shut, grin, and bear it while others wipe their feet on them.

Consequently, this only damages self-esteem and overall mental health. Just as you would protect your physical boundaries, you must also protect your psychological and emotional boundaries as well.

It’s your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s

It isn’t your fault if you’re a target or victim. However, at some point, you will need to make a stand. Do you want to spend your whole life being someone’s footstool?

Don’t continue to suffer in silence and obscurity. You should never allow people to use you as a rug. Realize that if people are bullying you, it is your responsibility to put a stop to the abuse, no one else’s.

Yeah, I know you look at schools everywhere and see anti-bullying policies on their websites and “Stop Bullying” posters on their walls in the hallways. Workplaces even have their own policies against bullying.

But the reality is that most anti-bullying policies aren’t worth the paper they’re written on. Why? Because people in authority rarely enforce those policies. Also, in most cases, the institution will only take the bullies’ side over yours. It happens all the time.

That’s why I stress that if a person is being bullied, it’s their responsibility to put a stop to it.

I understand that setting boundaries is not easy. In fact, it’s one of the hardest things to do. Especially after people have bullied you for so long.

They may have brainwashed you into thinking that you’re to blame for their brutish behavior. Your bullies may have even conditioned you to take the abuse and allow them to ride roughshod over you. Or, you may even fear for your physical safety.

However, at some point, you will have to make a choice. You either stand up and defend yourself or you keep taking it and spend your entire life with people jerking you around.

That’s no way to live. So, again tell the person to stop while using body language and facial expressions that match your words. You’ll be glad you did!

2. Say “No.”

And mean it. Put simpler, if someone asks or tells you to do something that makes you uncomfortable, say, “no.” Then, back it up by refusing to do it.

“No” is a tiny word but has huge power behind it.

However, many of us were raised to believe that saying “no” is rude, self-centered and disrespectful.

Many of us grew up during a time when children automatically owed anyone over the age of eighteen respect. It didn’t matter whether or not the adult was being fair. Neither did it matter if they were self-serving and out to harm us.

Nevertheless, the adults in our lives often forced us to say yes. Abusive ones conditioned us to go against our own rights and welfare, or risk worse punishment.

It was “obey, or else.”

As a result, they ended up molding us into spineless adults. We get used and abused by partners, family, friends, neighbors, and coworkers.

Why? Because, in the past, we were duped into believing that saying yes to everything everyone asks (or demands) means that we’re “good people.” We got the message that being agreeable shows that we’re being “respectful” and that we have “a good attitude.”

Only we ended up learning the hard way that it’s the exact opposite- what it really means is that we become easy targets for human vampires, leeches and predators.

“No” is not an easy word to say.

“No” is not an easy word to say, especially to bullies, abusers, narcissists, and psychopaths. Why? Because they despise it when you tell them no and, chances are that they will become enraged and retaliate.

However, realize that the offense these people take comes from insecurity and the feeling of rejection. It also comes from feeling entitled. This is why they take being told “no” so personally.

However, you must hold firm even if they retaliate, and even if they use tactics of emotional manipulation, such as guilt-tripping. Know that any indignation or anger the other person feels and displays is NOT your responsibility OR your problem.

Don’t cave in and eventually, they’ll give up and go find another stooge.

3. when someone physically attacks you, defend yourself.

To put it bluntly, if someone physically attacks you, you are well within your rights to haul off and punch them back. And when you do, do it with all your strength and make sure to go for that booger box. Hitting a bully in the nose will stun them. Then, when the bully is stunned, unload on them.

Physical violence should be a last resort after all else has failed, that much is true. However, it becomes necessary when someone is physically attacking you and the situation calls for self-defense.

Whether or not to hit back is the question on every bully target’s mind these days, especially in today’s climate of political correctness that we find ourselves in. Politicians, the media, and movies vehemently suggest not fighting violence with violence. You’ve probably heard statements such as:

“Two wrongs don’t make a right.”
“Turn the other cheek.”
“Don’t stoop to the bully’s level.”
And,
“Be the bigger person and walk away.”

However, what if your bully won’t let you be the bigger person? What if your bully has you cornered and you can’t walk away? What do you do then?

Also, what would the person making the statements above do? Obviously, they’re not the one who’s bullied and facing a possible beat down. Therefore, what right do they have to make such statements?

Don’t you just love it when those who know so little talk so much, giving you all this free advice?

speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Furthermore, bullies don’t understand nonviolent means. They don’t understand talking it out, reasoning, politeness, and diplomacy. The only language they understand is brute strength and raw power.

Therefore, you speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

You throw up your dukes and punch the bully’s lights out. Remember, this isn’t about a competition of “Who’s the Toughest Kid on the Block.” It isn’t about any pissing contest.

What it’s about is protecting yourself. It’s about keeping someone else from harming you and it’s also about safeguarding your physical health and well-being.

Also, it may be about survival. I can’t count the stories I’ve read about school fights where bully victims have been beaten to death. These days, there are countless news stories about bullies murdering their victims during a fight.

So, why just let another person use you as their personal punching bag and leave everything up to chance?

This post was all about setting boundaries to help you gather the courage to stand your ground when dealing with bullies and human predators.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

The Difference Between Curiosity and Nosiness

January 16, 2024December 21, 20232 Comments

My husband and I have discussed how people often confuse curiosity for nosiness. We both agreed that the two are different after I told him how they differ. Soon afterward, this conversation gave me an idea for a future blog post. However, I forgot about it because I was swamped with household duties, yard work, and other priorities.

Next, a fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

what is the difference between curiosity and nosiness?

Simple. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries. Whereas, nosiness does. This was my response during the above-mentioned conversation with my husband. And I didn’t have to elaborate on it.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosy is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out,”

“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

What does a Nosy Person and a Curious person do differently?

A curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. A curious person is more interested in educational information. They want to know more about how things work than they do other people.

On the other hand, a nosy person will pry into your personal and private business, trying to get some dirt on you. It’s all for the purposes of spreading it to everyone later. These are people who will listen and ultimately, make you look like a scandalous person. Moreover, a nosy person will snoop through your mail, your computer- heck! If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t go there too.

Understand that bullies are such people, and they will be the nosiest of the nosy. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

Nosiness is invasive. If a nosy person asks you a personal question and you refuse to answer, they will accuse you of “having something to hide.”

nosy people will claim you have something to hide if you don’t give them answers.

Moreover, this is how bullies trick their targets. They will use the “having something to hide” line to coerce their targets into giving up the details. Moreover, many targets will feel compelled to give it up even if they know it’s better to keep it private!

When bullies make this accusation, targets will cave in and go against their better judgement. Some will answer the bullies’ questions, just to prove that they don’t have anything to hide. Consequently, they get themselves into trouble.

If you ever find yourself in this predicament, I want you to understand that your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Additionally, I want to mention that bullies will also accuse you of being nosy when you’re clearly trying to learn something new. This has happened to me and, being a young teenager, I fell for the lie and let it have a negative impact on my learning.

Responding to a Nosy Person

Close up of examining of test sample of microchip transistor under the microscope in laboratory.

Therefore, it’s so important to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter busybodies with confidence. Also, you’ll be able to confidently defend yourself any time some snake accuses you of being nosy when you’re only trying to learn and educate yourself.

So, in closing, I’ll again give you the short and easily digestible explanations of curiosity and nosiness.

Curiosity- a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broaden one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow. Curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries or to cause harm.

Nosiness- prying in other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping on other people. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and to cause harm to them.

Learn these differences by heart and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the above-mentioned scenarios.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Space Invaders: 2 Ways Bullies Invade Your Personal Space

September 17, 20216 Comments

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge targets.

If you are a target of bullying, bullies will get in your face or stand too close behind you, sometimes so close their bodies are touching yours. Bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Different zone distances are practiced based on the relationship we have with the people in the room around us. They are as follows:

Intimate Zone – (6-18 inches) This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will move into your intimate zone when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack.

Girl sitting on the ground and drawing personal space. Selective focus

Anytime someone we don’t know, don’t trust or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close, and our minds and bodies automatically go into fight, flight, or freeze mode. Some bullies may also invade the target’s intimate area only to toy with them and get them to react, then step back and laugh at the reaction. Do not ignore it! Call the bully out and let them know that they are in your personal space and that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable.

Personal Zone – (18-48 inches) We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close. Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

Social Zone – (4-12 feet) These distances, we stand from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from their victims, so you might not want to react if you don’t want to look paranoid or unstable. But still, keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

Public Zone – (Over 12 feet) We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from their victims and not look conspicuous or threatening.

too close personal space bullied victim

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

1.Sitting in your chair, leaning on your car, etc. – Any chair we sit in or any object we lean on or touch, we nonverbally lay claim to. Just as a dog will mark his territory by peeing on the spot he claims as his, people mark theirs by sitting, leaning, or touching the place or object they claim as theirs.

Other ways bullies invade their victim’s territory are leaning in the doorway of their office, dorm room, or house. Bullies may also prop their feet on the target’s desk or table or even walk into the victim’s home without knocking or being invited inside!

bullies dog peeing on tree marking territory

Male poodle dog pee on tree trunk to mark his territory

However, here are some less-obvious ways of space violations:

2. Invasion of your privacy – Bullies will very carefully observe you. They will eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details so they can take the private info and spread it as juicy gossip and make you look bad. They may also read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets so they can spread it around and damage your reputation. They will even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with.

If you are a victim of bullying, understand that bullies do this on purpose. They invade your territory to intimidate, challenge, or dominate you.

You must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space and territory. Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

The more you know, the better you can protect yourself against these personal space invaders.