Blaming the Victim: Reasons Bullies Make You-Statements.

November 11, 2025October 31, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know how bullies go about blaming the victim? Here are all the signs to look for.

Have you noticed how bullies always seem to make “you” statements? You this, and you that; “you always” this, and “you never” that. You, you, you!

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to recognize blaming the victim so that you can adequately respond when your bullies try to blame you for their atrocious behavior.

Once you learn all this crucial information, you will be a pro at recognizing victim-blaming when you see it.

This post is all about blaming the victim so that you can avoid taking blame for behavior that isn’t your fault.

Blaming the Victim

“You made me mad!” “You made me hit you!” The thing is, these statements are so transparent and so telling.

They speak volumes about the bullies and nothing about you. Why? Because they are hallmarks of the typical abuser- accusation and blame.

Here are a few common you-statements bullies make.

“You lie all the time!”
“You always bitch and complain about everything!”
“You’re (clueless, ugly, mentally imbalanced, a liar, a wuss, etc.)!”
“You can’t leave well enough alone!”
“You’re a chicken!”
“You couldn’t find your ass with both hands!”
“You’ll never amount to anything!”
“You just keep pushing it!”
“You’re always trying to start something!”
“You always blow everything out of proportion!”
“You bring it all on yourself!”
“You always have to screw everything up!”

And the list is endless.

Blaming the Victim:

Bullies will always point the finger at you. Expect it.

Know that these you-statements are designed to blame you for their shameless behavior. Also, bullies blame you to tear you down and keep you there.

Bullies make these you-statements to strip you of your rights to defend yourself. They do it to take away your personal power.

Therefore, you must counter those accusations and turn them back on the bully. How to do this is by simply saying, “No, I’m not, YOU are!” or “No, I don’t! YOU do!” Then dismiss the bully and walk away.

The bully might argue back, but the important thing is that you’ve made your point. And you walk away, leaving the bully standing there, running their mouth. In that, you make them look both desperate and foolish.

“You Made me” and “You Make Me” Statements

Survivors, when you were bullied, did your bully ever justify their horrific treatment? Did they make statements such as, “You ‘made me’ do it!”?

I’ll bet that you have. Bullies often make the following statements to justify their behavior and intimidate you into staying silent.

“You ‘made me’ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
“You ‘make’ people want to hurt you!”
“Don’t ‘make me’ hurt you!”
“Don’t ‘make me’ mad!”
“You make me hate you!”

These are all statements bullies use to gaslight you. They want to brainwash you into believing that their behavior is your fault.

They need you to believe that you somehow provoke them to act the way they do. That you made them lash out.

Blaming the Victim:

Personal Experience

I can’t count how many times I’ve heard these kinds of accusations from my classmates. And I must admit, it was very hurtful and intimidating.

However, I look back now and realize this was only my bullies’ way of shifting the blame onto me. Why?

Because they were so afraid that I would call them out on their terrible behavior. And they were scared that others would see them for the creeps they truly were. They also wanted to maintain the upper hand.

The keywords in these sentences are either “you,” “made,” or “make,” and they are very telling if you really stop and think about it.

There are many reasons bullies resort to blaming the victim.

Blaming the Victim:

Organized Physical Attacks.

Organized physical attacks may also be used in school to blame you for their abuse. What do I mean? Here it is.

They may stage fights with you and other people. This is designed to bait you. For instance, they may go to the others and tell them that you said something bad about them. And you probably didn’t. In fact, you probably don’t know the person.

Nevertheless, you have people you don’t know confronting you and threatening physical harm. And, sooner or later, one of them attacks you. Then, a week later, another person physically assaults you.

A month later, another person jumps you. And these attacks repeat themselves until people begin looking at you with suspicion. Why? Because the fights always seem to involve you.

Others can’t help but think, “Why would so many people want to junk Jackie is she isn’t provoking them somehow?”

But! If nothing else, understand this right now! That’s the idea! If you are in this kind of predicament, this is precisely what your bullies were counting on! It was the plan all along!

But why? What do your bullies hope to gain from this?

1. To Destroy your credibility

If they can get different individuals at different times to physically attack you, they can cast suspicion on you. Moreover, they can turn even your friends against you. If you’re the one who’s always fighting, you look like the violent one.

This happens regularly to targets in schools, workplaces, and communities. Many times, this is how bullies retaliate against victims who have the gall to stand up to them.

Bullies hate it when you begin refusing to take their abuse.

2. Blaming the Victim:

To protect one another

Bullies run in packs, and they usually single out only one person. There is strength in numbers. Therefore, they do it to protect one another from being labeled and getting a bad reputation. Also, they blame you to stay out of trouble.

Most who have been in school have at least gotten into two fights, which sounds perfectly normal. However, too many fights, provoked or unprovoked, risk labeling victims as “troublemakers.”

3. to destroy your reputation with those in authority.

Destroying your name with the staff lessens any chances of anyone listening to you if you report the bullying. Bullies can’t risk you running and “snitching” on them.

Therefore, this protects them from discipline at school or work. Moreover, it allows them the freedom to do whatever they want to you whenever they feel like it.

So, they also use this tactic to silence you and make you afraid to report the bullying.

If you are a victim of bullying, expect those kinds of tactics. But understand that these are classic methods bullies use to shift the blame your way.

It also prevents them from losing power over you. If they can bully you freely, without the possibility of facing consequences, then you’re completely powerless.

4. Blaming the Victim:

To shift everyone’s focus from their actions to your reactions.

This is also a classic bully move. Anytime you call attention to their disgusting behavior, your bullies try to distract others’ attention to the way you reacted to it.

And they do this to make you ashamed of defending yourself. Moreover, they want you to doubt your own judgment.

Bullying thrives on secrecy. Therefore, bullies point out your reaction, hoping that you’ll shut your mouth.

5. Trivializing Your pain.

“It’s not that bad.” “Aw! It’s not the end of the world.” How many gave you one of these responses when you reported bullying and abuse or spoke out about it?

Understand that bullies say these things to trivialize your pain. Therefore, don’t fall for that garbage! Your bullies aren’t the ones on the receiving end of the abuse. You are!

Again, don’t let them gaslight you!

6. Blaming the Victim:

Suggesting that you had it coming.

Lots of times, when bullies abuse you, they’ll tell you that you had it coming. It’s just another way to say that you made them do it.

They’ll make statements, such as,

“You had it coming for a long time and you finally got it!”
“You asked for it.”
“You were cruisin’ for a bruisin’”

All you-statements. However, you must see all this for what it is. It’s all a way for your bullies to justify their abuse.

Think about this. If they can make you look like you asked for it, then they get off Scot free. Moreover, they can make themselves look like innocent victims who were only reacting to something you did.

7. Implying that you must have provoked the bully.

This is usually done by witnesses and authority members who side with bullies. For example, you’re bullied at school and you report it to the principal. The principal then asks you, “What did you do to make that boy attack you?”

Sadly, school staff tend to take the bully’s side and blame the victim.

8. Blaming the Victim:

Asking you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.

School staff and workplace managers are also guilty of this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”

If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put it off on you. Don’t let them do it!

Call them out on it! Let them know that you see through it and you won’t accept blame for anyone else’s deplorable behavior but your own! And when you say it, mean it.

And there’s always a way to bust the bullies who try to shift blame onto you this way:

Counter the bully’s “you made me ” statement and say this: “No! I didn’t make you do a damn thing! You did that all on your own!”

Say it point-blank and with conviction. If possible, say it in front of an audience. Call the bully out, and more than likely, you’ll protect your good name from being further tarnished.

This post was all about blaming the victim and the different tactics so that you will know what to expect and protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

5. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

July 22, 2025July 22, 20258 Comments

Why do schools protect bullies? This is the question on the minds of most school bullying victims. If you’re one of them, here are all the detailed reasons you need to know.

When a student is bullied and reports the abuse, many schools will protect the bullies instead of the kid who needs protection. They never hold them accountable for their bad behavior. Instead, they blame the victim.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the answers you need to know.

Once you learn all the answers and the details around them, you will no longer need to ask, “Why do schools protect bullies?”. Moreover, you will realize that protecting yourself from bullying is your responsibility. And you will feel better about taking the initiative and standing up to your bullies.

This post will give you all the answers when you ask, “Why do schools protect bullies,” so that you will no longer let it confuse you.

Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

If you’re bullied in school, you should follow the proper channels. You can report the bullying to your teachers and the principal. It’s only legal.

However, when you are bullied and report the abuse, many schools will only protect the bullies and blame you.

There are several reasons why schools protect bullies. However, first, let’s discuss how and why they attempt to conceal bullying.

Why do schools try to hide bullying?

Here are all the ways schools try to hide bullying.

1. They vehemently deny bullying in their facilities.

The reason they do this is to protect the school’s reputation and that of the school district. Bullying has been a topic of widespread news coverage over the last twenty-five years or so.

Moreover, the last thing any school wants is to be plastered all over the media because of a bullying incident. Therefore, they will deny that anything happened to cover it up.

2. They don’t contact the victim’s parents.

When a bully injures a child, schools often fail to report the incident to the child’s parents. Moreover, they refuse to show any videos of bullying or fights to the bullied child’s parents. I’ve read about this many times.

Again, the reason they do this is to prevent the school’s reputation from being tarnished. Additionally, this also protects the bullies.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

They answer any questions with vague statements or refuse to comment AT ALL.

The reason schools do this is to confuse the parents. They also do it to stonewall them and make them go away.

They think that if your parents give up, everything can go back to the way it was, and they won’t have to worry about their school’s reputation taking a hit.

4. They Retaliate against the bullied kid or their family.

When your parents get involved and refuse to shut up about the bullying, your school may retaliate. This doesn’t happen often, but it happens.

How schools retaliate against Bullied Students.

Many schools are vindictive toward bullied students and families who refuse to shut up about incidents of bullying. Here are the ways they retaliate.

1. They threaten to call Children’s Services

Schools do this to scare your parents into being quiet. If they can put you at risk of being removed from your home, they are more likely to silence you and your family.

Additionally, this shifts the negative spotlight away from the school and onto your family.

2. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to ban your parents from the school.

Parents who complain about bullying pose a threat to the school. Therefore, the school may ban the parent from school property.

If the parent is violent, then the school should ban them. However, in many cases, the parent did not resort to violence. All they did was simply bring up a bullying incident, and that was all it took for the school to ban them.

No. This doesn’t happen every day. Some schools do protect bullied kids. However, they are few and far between. And the bullying of innocent parents does happen. And it’s heartbreaking.

3. They have your parents arrested.

Again, if the parent comes to the school threatening violence and acting like a fool, I’m all for banning them and having them arrested.

However, many innocent parents have been arrested for simply addressing bullying. Sometimes this happens even if the parent handles the situation with diplomacy.

I’ve read many heartbreaking stories about similar situations.

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

It’s easier to Threaten you.

This happened to me years ago. Because I defended myself against many bullies, the staff made out an unruly child report and almost had me sent away.

Fortunately, I dodged that bullet. But many bullied victims don’t. And it’s sad.

5. They have you arrested and sent to the juvenile detention center.

I’ve read many stories of innocent bullying victims being sent away to juvenile detention because they fought their bullies in self-defense.

Unfortunately, zero-tolerance policies often fail to deter bullying. Sometimes, they get innocent kids in trouble for simply trying to defend themselves from physically violent bullies.

6. Why do schools protect bullies?

It’s easier to hide behind Sovereign Immunity.

Also, understand that schools have Sovereign Immunity and they will hide behind it. Sovereign Immunity is the stipulation that protects federal or state entities from litigation.

Therefore, it’s difficult to file a lawsuit against a school or school district. Parents have filed lawsuits against schools. And, yes, some have even won those lawsuits.

However, the statistics for successful cases are low.

This is why Sovereign Immunity for schools must be abolished. Moreover, they must be held accountable if a bullied student is maimed, murdered, or dies from suicide.

So, why do schools protect bullies?

1. Because the bullies have connections to people in power.

In other words, they are connected to local politicians and crime kingpins. This is especially true in small towns.

It’s because schools are afraid of pissing off those in power. If they suspend the bullies, their grades will likely drop.

Then, their powerful parents, who are likely to be adult bullies, would show up the next morning. They will demand to know why their little darlings were suspended.

If nothing else, know this. In most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about who has the most power.

In other words, most people care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

2. Why do schools protect bullies?

Because the bullies often score high academically, which makes the school look good.

Schools are rated by the grades their students receive. Their graduation and dropout rates are also taken into account.

Therefore, if a school can maintain a high graduation rate and a low dropout rate, it enhances its reputation. In short, they look good.

Therefore, why would the school side with anyone other than its brightest stars and highest achievers?

If schools can crank out college candidates with high honors, all the better. And sadly, because of bullying, many targets drop out.

3. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies?

The bullies are athletes on the school sports teams.

Many bullies are stars of the school’s sports teams. Let’s face it. Schools have an interest in their sports teams.

They want to win games and to win in regional, state, and national championships. Why? Because it bolsters the school’s image.

And what school board member or principal wouldn’t want these things?

If the school has an excellent reputation, it’s likely to have a larger number of attending students. And more parents will likely want their kids to attend.

And the more students a school has, the more funding it receives from its state. Therefore, schools have a vested interest in maintaining a positive image.

4. The bullies are on the cheerleading squad and in sororities and fraternities.

Only students with good grades and high marks are accepted into these groups. So, it goes without saying. If they make superior grades, the school will protect them.

5. Why do schools protect bullies?

The bullies’ parents are boosters.

In other words, they are those who provide funding for the school’s programs. And trust me when I say that schools won’t risk losing these funders!

Therefore, schools will always side with the bullies and blame you because appealing to any entity’s self-interest equals POWER! And most victims of bullying, I’m sorry to say, don’t have the power that bullies have.

Remember that an imbalance of power is a primary characteristic of bullying.

6. The bullies suck up to faculty.

Like it or not, most people in power love being sucked up to. Teachers and school officials are no exception. Therefore, sucking up gives bullies many brownie points.

And school staff will protect bullies. And they will do it out of loyalty.

Why do schools protect bullies?

Schools THAT bully parents

Schools have more power than you realize. If their reputation is at risk, they will do anything to silence you and your family. They will take measures to prevent anything bad from getting out.

Sadly, many parents of bullied kids are single. And they are raising children on one paycheck. How do they fight against such powerful entities?

Understand that school officials are elected officials- politicians. And schools will protect their reputations at all costs.

How Parents can protect their children from bullying

1. Put in for a school transfer.

Although not always feasible, transferring your child to a new school is one of the best things you can do for them. A transfer will give them a fresh start with a clean slate.

And, because they’ve had no history with the other students at the new school, it will be much easier for them to make friends there.

However, what if you can’t afford it? Luckily, there’s a government program called school choice. With the school choice program, you get vouchers to send your child to any school they want to attend, even a private school.

Ways you can appeal to the school’s interests and level the playing field

If you can find a way to appeal to the school’s self-interest, then you have an ace in the hole. Here are ways you can do it!

1. Excel and keep your grades up.

I realize that this can be hard to do when you’re a target of relentless bullying. Bullying can break your concentration.

Instead of focusing on schoolwork, you naturally focus on ways to be safe. That’s completely understandable. However, you must make your bullies your motivation to excel.

There’s nothing wrong with compensating. And sometimes you must compensate to buffer your self-esteem and protect your mental health.

Therefore, if you lack friends and social connections, compensate for this by excelling in academics and improving your class performance.

It will pay huge dividends. And you’ll feel so much better about yourself.

3. Find ways to benefit the school with your talents and gifts.

If you can use your talents to bolster the school’s image, that’s a win for you. And the school will more likely support and protect you from bullies.

If you can sing, join the school choir and win in the all-state championships. Not only will you look good, but your school will also look good!

In closing:

It’s a fact that most schools ignore bullying and protect bullies. Bullies get away with bullying all the time, and some teachers may join in on the torment. It’s heartbreaking.

But don’t give up. There are things you can do to protect yourself.

This post answered the question, “Why do schools protect bullies” to get rid of any confusion and bewilderment you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

3. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

Reactive Bullying: What is It?

July 18, 2025July 9, 202526 Comments

‘Ever heard of reactive bullying? Here’s what it is and why it can lead to trouble.

When bullies force you to tolerate their bullying, the pressure builds over time. You become angry, and that anger also builds. Everyone has a breaking point. And when people push you to yours, you snap and show your ugly side.

This happens all the time, and it can lead to mayhem if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about reactive bullying and its potential impact on you.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be able to save yourself a lot of drama down the road.

This post is all about reactive bullying, so that you can take steps to save yourself from having it weaponized against you.

Reactive Bullying

What is reactive bullying? Reactive bullies tend to be victims of bullying. Reactive bullying happens when bullies taunt you until you finally snap out of rage and launch a verbal tirade or physical attack against your bullies.

The victim who snaps

You snap after you’ve ignored the bullying for so long. You’ve tried handling it calmly, but it doesn’t help. The bullies only intensify the bullying.

As time passes, the pressure builds slowly. For example, you take a bottle of Coke and shake it up. If you keep shaking it up, it will eventually spew.

This is what happens after people have targeted you for so long. The pressure boils over, and you ultimately explode with rage, lashing out at your tormentors. Realize that you can’t hold it in forever.

So, you let them have it! In other words, you bully them back. Is blowing up and going off on your bullies the wisest thing to do?

No. Why? Because an explosive reaction is precisely what your bullies want. They want you to snap. And, the reason they want you to blow up on them is so they can play the victim and make you look like the bully.

Reactive Bullying:

Your bullies will only weaponize your reaction.

I realize that people can only take so much. I understand that when you’ve had enough, you’ve had enough, and I’m with you.

However, bullies are experts at baiting you. Although your reaction may be justified, your bullies will only use it against you. They’ll paint it as proof that you’re mentally unstable.

They’ll say that you’re too sensitive or you’re a drama queen. Also, they may use it to blame you. They may say,

“Well? Maybe if you wouldn’t get so overly emotional, you’d have friends!”
“If you didn’t overreact to everything, people would want to be around you more!”
“Maybe if you’d control your temper, we wouldn’t give you such a hard time!”

Your reaction is a tool they can use to Blame you.

However, see this for what it is. It’s gaslighting of the highest extent. Your bullies mistreat you, then punish you for reacting to their abuse.

They also use it to make excuses for the behavior and deflect the blame back onto you. Sadly, it works like a charm, and bystanders and witnesses believe them.

For example, we’ll use a scene in the movie “Home Alone 2.”

In this scene, the McAllisters are having a family meeting in their living room. The main character, Kevin, is in trouble for pushing his older brother, Buzz, after Buzz humiliated him at the Christmas choir concert.

Buzz gives a fake apology to Kevin and the rest of the family. He then turns toward his little brother and sneakily calls him a trout-sniffer. Then, Buzz baits Kevin into a reaction. Therefore, Kevin gets into trouble with the family, while Buzz gets off scot-free.

Bullies pull the same trick on you.

Reactive Bullying:

Superiors won’t punish your bullies for abusing you, they’ll punish you for your reaction to it.

If you blow a gasket and tear into your bullies, it doesn’t undercut the fact that they initiated it. After all, your bullies are the ones who asked for it and drove you to get out of character.

Every single human one of us is capable of losing our cool after we’ve endured vile treatment for so long. However, many superiors will punish you because they feel that you overreacted.

There will be those who feel that the punishment outweighs the crime.

Therefore, teachers, supervisors, and others in authority must learn to distinguish between provocation and reaction. Then, they will be able to identify the real bully and target.

You must also learn to distinguish between the two so that you can call it out when it happens to you. Fortunately, there are a few reliable ways to differentiate between a provocation and a reaction. In that, you identify the real victim who is only reacting to bullying.

How do you know which person is the bully and which is the victim?

Simple! You can determine this by observing each person’s behavior.

A victim who has only reacted always feels terrible about how they acted once they’ve calmed down. They are usually the first to apologize for it.

A real target will also not be afraid to admit they’ve made a mistake.

On the other hand, a bully must always be right. They will never admit they’ve done anything wrong. Instead, a bully will continue to blame the victim.

They will be overly critical of the target and their reaction. Moreover, bullies will also use the tiniest mistake or imperfection and exaggerate it beyond its actual size. Bullies are also excessively dramatic.

Now, if the bully is a smooth talker, he might even admit to a few minor mistakes or wrongdoings. However, they will always follow that with the claim that the victim is at fault.

Therefore, always look for these signs. Then, you can easily peel the mask off the bully, layer by layer! Moreover, you can protect and care for the victim.

Reactive BULLYING:

Damned if you do and damned if you don’t

As mentioned earlier, the pressure of bullying builds until you snap. Bystanders and superiors may feel that your reaction subtracts from the fact that they drove you to overreact.

As a result, you may stop defending yourself. Why? It seems that every time you stand up for yourself, they punish you for it. Therefore, it may discourage you from standing up for yourself.

As a result, you may feel you have no other choice but to stay silent. You may think it easier to resign yourself, stay quiet, and allow them to keep bullying you.

The fear of them making you the villain overrides your natural desire to defend yourself. And, in your silence, you may hope that others take notice of your passivity and realize that you are, in fact, the target.

However, in most cases, this doesn’t work either. Why? Because, when you suffer bullying, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t.

What happens when bullies make you out to be the bad guy?

If your bullies make you look like the instigator when you defend yourself, they become brazen. Then, they have carte blanche to bully you any time they feel like it.

Moreover, they will bully you more frequently, more severely, and more openly.

Reactive Bullying:

So What can you do?

You can react to bullying in positive ways. What do I mean by this?

For instance, you can become an advocate against bullying. You can speak for others who suffer from bullying.

Also, you can focus more on your life goals. You can get busy working on those goals and following your dreams. This will buffer your self-esteem from the effects of bullying.

And you can tell your story of how people bully you. And you must, no matter how they shout you down.

Continue to talk about it, no matter how they blame and punish you. Tell your side of the story, even if no one wants to listen to it.

Just having your say can give you such relief. The fact that you got it off your chest and out in the open keeps you from internalizing everything. Also, it saves your self-esteem from being destroyed.

This is all a part of self-care.

The Importance of self-Care

When you’re against these types of odds, self-care is most important. Realize that, although the bullies may never change their behavior toward you, they can never stop you from taking care of yourself.

In these situations, all you have is you. So, practice self-care. Show yourself compassion and do what you must do to preserve your safety and mental health. Be your own best friend. Fight for yourself.

You’re worth fighting for.

Reactive Bullying:

In closing

Reactive bullying is a natural reaction to bullying. However, it can also give bullies a tool to use against you. Therefore, respond to bullying the right way. Never allow your bullies to get you so riled up that you snap.

Why? Because once you lose your cool, you lose your ability to think clearly, and you give your bullies a chance to lay the blame on you.

This post was all about reactive bullying for you to learn what it is and how bullies can use it to their advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Punished for Defending Yourself: What You Can Do

2. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

3. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

Bullies and Victim-Mentality: 9 Behaviors of Bullies Who Play Victim

June 23, 2025September 16, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know about bullies and victim-mentality? Here’s everything you need to know.

Bullies don’t mind dishing the nastiness out to their victims. However, when the victims start giving it back to them, they’ll play the victim-role real quickly.

In fact, they’re the biggest cry-babies in the world!

Therefore, in this post you will learn all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can keep from being blamed for their attacks.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be able to confidently call them out when you defend yourself against your bullies and they try to act like they’re the victims.

This post is all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can recognize the behavior and call it out. Also, you can protect yourself from getting blamed for your bullies’ ratchet behavior.

Bullies and Victim-Mentality

Bullies have a grandiose sense of entitlement. Why? Because they’re so quick to attack you without provocation. However, you finally get fed up and show your ugly side, it not only surprises them, it also offends them.

Therefore, they’ll assume the victim role.

Here are 9 behaviors of bullies who play victim.

1. They Dissolve into a puddle of tears.

If a bully thinks they’re about to get into trouble over their bad behavior, they’ll quickly turn on the water works. They’ll cry those crocodile tears and play the victim.

Unfortunately, they’ll do it so convincingly that others will fall for their bullshit. Therefore, be prepared and don’t take the blame for their bad behavior.

Call out those fake tears. And do it loudly and with confidence. Why? Because they’re nothing but a bunch of cry-bullies.

2. They Get Outraged at you for standing up to them.

Understand that bullies feel entitled to do whatever they want to do and you have no right to stop them. In fact, they believe you don’t have a right to even speak against it.

They think that they are beyond reproach and that you should never question their behavior.

You’re bullies think they have a right to mistreat you and you’re just supposed to bow down and take their crap. You’re just supposed to let them harm you and take it with a smile.

Why? Because, in their minds, you’re inferior. So, you should just shut your mouth and take it. They may not come out and say it. However, this is how these chumps think.

3. Bullies and victim-mentality:

They’ll gripe, whine, and complain when things don’t go their way.

For instance, if you hold them accountable for anything, your bullies will bitch, moan, and regress into a toddler. If you stand up to them, they may run to a teacher or boss-man and cry like a little bitch.

They might throw a temper tantrum, railing against the injustice and unfairness of it all.

Also, they may also do something to get back at you for daring to stand up for yourself. Understand that cry-bullies must always get their way. This is why they get furious with and throw a fit with you.

Then, they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen that you’re the bully.

4. They’ll shout you down when call them out on their bad behavior.

To them, their words and opinions are golden. Therefore, if you happen to speak against them, your bullies will instantly turn into petulant children.

They’ll call you all kinds of ugly names and launch personal attacks against you. Moreover, they may even hit you first.

But, if you hit them back, they will cry like a wimp and claim you started it.

5. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

They want everything handed to them.

Cry-bullies are entitled to have whatever they want when they want it. They don’t like to work for anything. Moreover, they don’t like to wait for it either.

These types of people are impatient. When they want something, they want it right then. And they’ll never stop bothering you until you cave in and give it to them.

You must understand that your bullies do this to wear you down. However, don’t give them the satisfaction. Double down and resist, no matter what! Stand firm, if for nothing more than to teach them a lesson.

6. They hate it when someone else has life better than they do.

When your bullies see you doing better than them, it makes them feel indignant. In other words, they feel that life hasn’t given them a fair shake.

They will often sulk and play on others’ sympathy. Also, they will try to get back at you for being just a little luckier than they are.

Understand that these types of individuals see your successes as injustice.

7. They Shift the blame to you.

This point takes me back to how the bully tries to make you look like the bully. In some cases, this person deludes herself into believing that she is, in fact, the victim.

And sadly, they’re very successful in making others believe that garbage.

Therefore, when you think of a cry-bully, think Nellie Olson in the TV series, “Little House on the Prairie.”

Don’t pander to the crybully and don’t be too nice and try to calm them down. If you do, they’ll only keep manipulating you.

8. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

Many Bullies Cop Out Behind Victimization.

Too many people use past trauma as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

I have seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. But, why do they do this? It’s because they think that it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

Sadly, I was guilty of the same thing in high school. It isn’t something I’m proud of today.

For example, some may choose to rob a bank or burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor. Because they didn’t get a fair shake in life, they think that it justifies their crimes.

In their minds, the world owes them. Therefore, they have a good excuse for striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

And, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because they believe that being held responsible for their crimes only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

We’re all responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t. Past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse. We’re all responsible for our lives, whether you like it or not.

I could have gone on bullying others because people bullied me in the past. But where would it have gotten me? Nowhere! That behavior would have only brought consequences and more misery.

Wouldn’t it be better to learn from adversity and take accountability for your life? Therefore, it’s up to you to try to make your life better than it was in the past.

9. Bullies and Victim-Mentality:

They live in the past.

Now, reminiscing isn’t a bad thing. To look back on yesterday, when life was much simpler, makes you feel good. Happy memories always make you feel better.

However, when you constantly ruminate on the bad stuff that happened to you, that’s when it becomes a problem.

You hold grudges. And you long to someday get back at the person who hurt you. This isn’t good for anyone. It only eats you out from the inside.

Bullies are notorious for holding grudges.

Sadly, too many survivors of bullying hold on to grudges. They constantly ruminate over the bullying they endured, wishing they had knocked the hell out of the bully. They look back with remorse, shame, guilt, and regret.

Now, it’s normal to do right after you’ve gotten out of the toxic environment that encouraged the bullying. I completely understand. However, when this goes on for too many years, you only hold yourself back. Unnecessary baggage only keeps you down.

Therefore, don’t trap yourself in an endless cycle of what-ifs. Why? Because, when you do, you only keep yourself stuck in a quagmire of misery.

Also, you forgo opportunities to learn from and grow from those experiences.

So, let it go. Accept what happened and learn from it. Let it make you better instead of bitter!Only then can you reach empowerment and find happiness.

In Closing

Nothing makes you sicker than seeing some punk bully start something they can’t finish. And there’s nothing more pathetic than a bully who pushes someone too far, than cries like a schoolyard sissy when they get their ass kicked up between their shoulders.

But sadly, this is how most of them get away with bullying.

Therefore, if you’re a bully, do yourself a favor. Don’t mess with someone and expect not to get some in return. Don’t be a cry-bully.

And, if you’re a victim, stand up for yourself even if your bully tries to put on the innocent little victim act. Continue to hold your boundaries.

Don’t fall for the crocodile tears or the selective outrage. Call that shit out! And stand strong. Realize that victim-mentality is only a farce, designed to keep your bullies’ asses out of trouble.

And lastly, and most importantly, refuse to see yourself as a victim. Instead, see yourself as a target. Why? Because there’s a difference between a target of bullying and a victim of bullying.

This post is all about bullies and victim-mentality so that you can recognize it when you see it and be prepared for it when you stand up to your bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

4. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

what does victim blaming look like reddit

What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

April 2, 2025April 2, 20252 Comments

What does victim blaming look like? ‘Want to know exactly how to recognize when you’re being blamed for the bullying you suffer. Here are all the signs you need to know about.

Victim blaming is ugly in that it re-victimizes victims, over and over again.

Therefore, in this post is all the answers to the question, “What does victim blaming look like,” so that you can know how to recognize it when you see it and how to defend yourself against victim blaming behavior it when a bully tries it with you.

Once you learn to see it when it happens, you will better be able to call it out when it happens to you or anyone else.

This post answers the question, “What does victim blaming look like,” so that you can see victim blaming for what it is and tackle it immediately.

What does victim blaming look like?

Many times, when you call out or report bullying, your bullies will blame you for their despicable behavior just to take the guilt off themselves.

So, what is the definition of victim blaming?

According to Welsh Women’s Aid, “Victim blaming is any response that explicitly states or implies that the victim is to blame for the abuse they have experienced.”

In cases of bullying, Targets Never Become Targets Overnight

Victim blaming doesn’t only happen to victims of bullying, it can also happen to victims of crimes, such as rape and domestic assault. Moreover, the blame can come from the perpetrators, other people, or even law enforcement, who is supposed to help victims.

The same happens to victims of bullying as well. Bullies are notorious for blaming their victims for their atrocious abuse. However, blame can also come from peers, teachers, coworkers, supervisors and managers.

This happens especially when the bullying of a certain individual first begins. Therefore, if you’re beginning to see subtle signs of bullying by others, be very careful. Why?

Because, any time bullies select a potential target, they start out subtle and sweet with their bullying. The reason bullies are subtle at first is because they’re testing the waters. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond and if you’re an easy target.

If you overlook their behavior, or response too emotionally, your bullies will slowly move on to more obvious verbal abuse. However, if you respond the right way by being assertive and telling them in no uncertain terms to stop the behavior, they will leave you alone. Keep in mind that this only works in the early stages of bullying.

And sadly, most people don’t stand up for themselves in the early stages. Therefore, again, bullies progress to more blatant verbal abuse.

Your bullies may try to blame you. However, continue to stand strong. Don’t back down and refuse to accept blame. Then, eventually, they’ll leave you alone.

What Does Victim Blaming Look Like?

1. Bullies Ridicule You and tell you to “Get Over It.”

Bullies will ridicule you for the way you feel about their abuse. Moreover, they taunt you if you have the guts to call them out on it. But see them for who they are.

“Get over it!”
“Let it go!”
“Forget about it!”

Whatever way they say it, it usually means the same.

Realize that bullies are self-entitled turds who think you should just let them ride roughshod over you. Also, they believe that you’re wrong for even trying to defend against the abuse.

Maybe they know they’re in the wrong but don’t want you to notice it.

How many of you have been told to do either of these? As if you could just wiggle your nose and everything is peachy king. When you’ve been abused, you cannot just let it go. Healing takes time.

The emotions you feel won’t just go away. Even if you paint a smile on your face and pretend that nothing’s wrong, these feelings will still be there.

They’ll only simmer under the surface. Moreover, the more you try to stuff them down and bury them, the more damage it will cause.

Don’t feel guilty for feeling the way that you do.

Understand that the emotions you’re feeling are there for a reason. They warn you that something isn’t right. Realize that the anger and hurt won’t disappear overnight.

Know that the people who give you that kind of response do so out of ignorance and entitlement. Moreover, they only re-abuse you when they demand that you “get over it.”

In order to heal and get your life back again, you must allow yourself to feel those raw emotions. No, it isn’t comfortable. No one wants to feel pain.

However, you must go through it to come out on the other side of it. And while you’re moving through the pain, practice self-care.

Give yourself some TLC. Have self-compassion. It’s okay to not be okay and it’s okay to baby yourself.

Take a few days off. Lounge around the house in your pajamas if you want to. Eat your favorite treat or give yourself a good, sweaty workout.

Also, treat yourself to a spa-day, facial, new do, or a beach vacation. Your first priority is self-care, whatever that may be.

Last and most importantly, don’t shut up! Tell your bullies to take a long walk off a short pier.

Also, keep speaking out and standing in your truth. Self-care also means being your own advocate and if people don’t like it, too bad.

Put yourself first!

2. What does victim blaming look like?

Shifting focus from your bullies’ actions to your reactions.

This is a classic bully-move. Anytime you call attention to their disgusting behavior, your bullies try to distract others’ attention to the way you reacted to it.

Your bullies do this for three reasons.

To silence you.
To make you ashamed of defending yourself.
Also, to make you doubt your own judgement.
To discredit you.

Bullying thrives on secrecy. Therefore, bullies point out your reaction, hoping that you’ll shut your mouth. Therefore, keep talking.

3. Questioning the victim’s reactions.

Many times, when you defend yourself against bullying, people will question your reaction. They may ask, “Why didn’t you walk away when the bully hit you? You didn’t have to sink to their level by hitting them back.

However, bullies don’t honor someone who walks away. People may tell you to be the bigger person and walk away from the bully. But how do you know that your bully won’t sucker punch you the moment you turn your back?

Realize that bullies only understand strength. Therefore, strength is what you respond with. Punch their lights out!

You have to let them know that if they lay hands on you, there will be consequences.

4. What does victim blaming look like?

Bringing attention to the victim’s flaws and weaknesses.

Your bullies may say that your weight or your big ears are the reason you get bullied. They may make remarks such as, “Maybe if you weren’t such an oinker, no one would mess with you.”

Be that as it may, no one has the right to bully you. Ever!

Therefore, don’t fall that bullshit. Continue to stand your ground!

5. Trivializing the victim’s pain.

“It’s not that bad.” “Aw! It’s not the end of the world.” How many gave you one of these responses when you reported bullying and abuse or spoke out about it?

Understand that bullies say these things to trivialize your pain.

Therefore, don’t fall for that garbage! Your bullies aren’t the ones on the receiving end of the abuse. You are!

Again, don’t let them gaslight you! Keep standing up for yourself.

6. Removing the bully’s name.

For instance, instead of saying, “Billy beat Kelly up,” bystanders will say, “Kelly got beat up!”

Many times, the bully’s friends and followers will do this to protect their friend. Therefore, they cover for their buddy while taunting you because Billy beat the crap out of you.

7. What does victim blaming look like?

Suggesting that you had it coming.

Lots of times, when bullies abuse you, they’ll tell you that you had it coming. They may say that you made them do it.

They’ll make statements, such as,

“You ‘made me‘ or ‘make me’ hit you!”
“You ‘make‘ people want to hurt you!”
“Don’t ‘make me‘ hurt you!”
“Don’t ‘make me‘ mad!”

However, you must see all this for what it is. It’s all a way for your bullies to blame you and take the guilt off themselves.

Think about this. If they can make you take the blame for their abuse, then they get off Scot free. Moreover, they can make themselves look like the innocent victims while making you look like the bully.

8. Implying that you must have provoked the bully.

For example, if you’re bullied at school and you report it to the principal. The principal then asks you, “What did you do to make that boy attack you?”

Sadly, school staff tend to take the bully’s side and blame the victim.

9. Asking you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.

School staff and workplace managers are also guilty of this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”

If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put if off on you. Don’t let them do it!

Call them out on it! Let them know that you see through it and you won’t accept blame for anyone else’s deplorable behavior but your own! And when you say it, mean it!

This post addressed the question, “what does victim blaming look like,” So you’ll recognize it when it happens and defend yourself against it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

3. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

4. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use