The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

October 25, 2024October 25, 202452 Comments

‘Want to know the advantages of having enemies? Here are all the positives that you need to know about.

Many people, especially victims of bullying, belief that having enemies is a bad thing. But, what if I told you that there are positives to having enemies?

In this post, you will learn the advantages of having enemies so that you can finally feel better about having them.

Once you learn all the positives enemies can bring, your confidence will rise and you will feel so much better about yourself. Also, you will be able to more calmly and intelligently deal with any bully who comes for you.

This post is all about the advantages of having enemies that you must be aware of in order to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

The Advantages of Having Enemies

“You can tell a man’s vises by his friends, his virtues by his enemies.” – Ben Domenech.

There is value in having enemies. If you meet a person who has not one enemy, you would naturally be suspicious of that person and wonder if they’re either lying or mistaken.

However, if they do have enemies and (even better) are proud of that, it means they stood for something at some point in life. As a result, they made some people uncomfortable.

Understand that everyone has enemies. They may not admit it or may not know it, but they do have an enemy out there somewhere.

What are the advantages of having enemies?

Before we get to the advantages, let’s first discuss why it is that most people consider enemies a bad thing.

Too many people feel that they must win a popularity contest, and they go out of their way to do it. They suck up, trying to be someone they aren’t just to run with the pack.

Moreover, they seek attention, and bully those they see as defective. What’s even sadder is that they reach a point where they don’t know who they are anymore.

The sad thing is that, in doing these self-demeaning things, they unknowingly make themselves slaves to other people’s opinions and, therefore, slaves to others.

You must know that this is a waste of time and too much work. Even worse, it chips away at your self-esteem. You end up letting yourself down to please others, and that’s not good.

Realize that the only way you can be free is to be true to yourself and let others have their opinions of you, good or bad. Realize that opinions are just that- opinions.

Opinions are like elbows. Everybody has them and they’re are just as cheap as talk.

We must learn to re-frame our attitudes about enemies.

Enemies have a negative opinion of you. Some may dislike you and some may even hate you. However, instead of trying to win over people who can’t be won, be glad that you have enemies because enemies see you as a challenge.

Moreover, some may view you as a threat to them somehow and others may want to compete with you in something.

Therefore, rest assured that having enemies can be a good thing. It’s all in the way you look at it.

Also, realize that your enemies don’t know you on a personal level, and probably never did. They aren’t and never were anyone who matters.

The weight you should give to anyone’s opinions, thoughts, or feelings depends on who holds it and and the relationship you have with those people.

Here are the advantages of having enemies:

1. Having enemies means that you stood for something.

Whether you stood up for your beliefs and convictions, or you stood up for someone being bullied, you stood for something and that angers a lot of people.

Also, you may have refused to participate in something bad. Or, you may have refused to go along with something that could’ve gotten people hurt or killed, you had the courage to be disliked. This makes you a very brave person with integrity.

Therefore, understand that bullies and their followers lack integrity. And those who don’t have integrity are people who’s approval and acceptance you don’t need. Feel great about making enemies out of them!

2. The advantages of having enemies is that you’re not afraid to be yourself.

You’re authentically you, and that’s a good thing. Sadly, there are more fake people in the world than there are people who are genuine. So, anytime you choose to just be yourself, you will make enemies. See this as a given.

Understand that when you choose to be yourself, you choose such sweet freedom. Maybe your enemies are jealous of your freedom and the confidence and strength of character you exude. Maybe they want those characteristics that you possess but don’t know how to get them.

Also, realize that fake people feel very threatened by those who decide to be themselves because a person who is true to themselves is more likely to call them out on their fakery.

Therefore, always keep these things in mind.

3. There’s power in having enemies.

Yes! You heard that correctly!

The reason for that power is that your enemies automatically make you relevant. In an enemy’s desire to “get you,” you consume their mind. In other words, they can’t stop thinking about you and obsessing over ways to stick it to you.

Therefore, which person has the power, them or you? This is true especially if you have an enemy who hates you.

4. The Advantages of having enemies: You control your enemies whether you mean to or not.

This goes back to number three because when you control something, you have power over it, whether or not it’s intentional.

An example of this would be your enemy catching sight of you at a party or in the supermarket. A flood of negative emotions immediately washes over them. Your enemy may either lash out or they may leave. Either way, you made an impact on them, regardless if it’s negative.

That’s power!

5. You might have beat them at something.

Whether your partner chose you over them or you beat them at a contest, let’s face it. Most people are sore losers, especially nowadays.

So, instead of agonizing over it, feel good about it!

6. The Advantages of Having Enemies: They motivate you to do well.

Nothing feels better than to show up an enemy. Therefore, let that be a motivation for you to follow your dreams. Continue to follow your path, work on your goals, and live your best life!

7. They can strengthen your courage and your resilience if you let them.

This means using your enemies as fuel to power through obstacles and get things done. Achieve and accomplish! Your enemies may or may not notice, but you will.

Celebrate the small wins you enjoy!

The Advantages of Having Enemies:

In Conclusion

Understand that anyone’s dislike or hatred of you more than likely comes from a place of ignorance, stupidity, bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity. Nothing more.

And take it with a grain of salt. Moreover, only value the opinions of those who know you- God, and those of you closest family members and friends.

It’s the same with your bullies and haters- they dislike or hate you out of any or all of the above filthy five characteristics mentioned above.

Furthermore, realize that to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. This means that you must value them to some degree.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them power by not allowing their thoughts and how they feel about your to control you.

Know Your Worth.

Begin seeing your worth and you realize that you are much more successful and better off than they will probably ever be. Moreover, ask yourself these questions:

“Have any of these people even reached my level?”

“Do their opinions even matter?

“Who are they that I should even care?”

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you should have the same attitude. Realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions, especially enemies, are relevant nor do their words mean anything.

Don’t let your enemies stop you from being yourself.

Always be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Have your own preferences and make your own choices. And do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

So, if you have enemies, be proud of it. It means that you’ve taken a stand and that you’re not afraid to be different. If you have enemies and are okay with having them, then you have the freedom, and you can do anything you want. Always remember that

This post was all about the advantages of having enemies and what they can do for your confidence and self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4 Reasons You Shouldn’t Change to Appease Bullies

April 6, 202223 Comments

Bullies are notorious for demanding that their targets change- that targets change something about themselves that they (the bullies) don’t like. We know that bullies point out anything they don’t like about targets to divert the attention of everyone else away from their own shortcomings and imperfections.

You should always be yourself and never allow bullies to change you. Here are the reasons why:

1. If the bullies can’t find something wrong with you, they’ll invent something wrong with you. If you want to better yourself- get an education, lose weight, get a better job, better home, etc., that’s completely normal because you’re doing those things for yourself. You’re making sensible changes and not to please anyone else.

But if you’re content with your life and some idiot demands you change something about yourself that they don’t like- something that’s not harming anyone, then you have a right to tell that person to go take a long walk off a short pier. Who are they to tell you that you should change?

2. Trying to be someone you aren’t to please others requires too much effort. Why would you want to expend so much work to fake your way through life? You’ll be watching every word that comes out of your mouth and every step you make, which means, you’ll be in a constant state of high alert because you’ll always worry what others think of you. Even if you do get accepted by others by being fake, it won’t make you happy. This is no way to live!

3. There will always be those who don’t like you no matter what you do. Therefore, all that extended effort, just to be liked, is all for naught. You’ll be jumping through hoops for other people. You’ll be shape-shifting yourself into a pretzel and in most cases, it doesn’t make people like you any better. What it does is cause you to live a life of undue stress and anxiety. Is that how you want to live? I hope not.

4. Genuine people and those who matter will only lose respect for you. Let’s be real here. No one likes nor respects a person who is fake. You won’t be taken seriously and, in most cases, you’ll only be bullied worse for your willingness to bend over backwards to gain acceptance. In other words, you’ll only get the opposite outcomes to what you hope for. How disappointing!

Sadly, I see people living in fear- being careful not to say the words, “mother,” “father,” “man,” “woman,” “he” or “she.” And I can only shake my head is dismay and embarrassment.

I write this because we live in a world that is trying to change us and what it wants to change us into is utterly ridiculous. No, wait! Ridiculous isn’t the word for it. Insane is a more appropriate word.

For example, bullies aren’t the only people who will try to change you. The media and other puppet masters also want us to change- even change the way we speak. They want to eliminate the words, “mother,” “father,” “sister,” “brother,” any word that identifies genders of family relatives. It’s crazy!

If they want to use different terms, then fine. To each their own. But how dare they demand that the rest of us change for them?

Who do they think they are?

Since when do they decide how we speak, what we believe, and how we behave?

Who died and made them lords over the rest of us?

And who are they to decide what’s right and what’s wrong?

I’m going to go out on a limb here and tell these radicals that they do not get to decide how I nor anyone else speaks, behaves, or lives.

Understand that they are bullies themselves and are well-known for pushing boundaries and intruding on others. They have to be bullies to burn down people’s homes, businesses, and entire cities to make a point. They must be bullies to assault little old couples or children on the street.

And they’re so arrogant that they feel entitled to tell the rest of us what words we should say to identify members of our families. Again, who do they think they are? This is a blatant attempt at power and control.

And the media and universities have now become a brand of police- also telling us how we should speak, act, and think. Here’s my take on it- I think this gender inclusion crap is a bunch of hogwash. God help them if they were ever told how to live!

These people suggest that the word “mother” be replaced with “gestational parent” or “birthing parent,” and the word “father” be replaced with “non-gestational parent,” or “non-birthing parent.” What???

As I said, I, as well as most others, could care less how other people live. Whatever floats their boat, I always say. You do what makes you happy and allow me to do what makes me happy. In short, you do you and let me do me.

And that’s the message I have for the radicals out there: I don’t stick my nose into your business, so kindly keep your nose out of mine. Go away and leave the rest of us alone. Get a life. Get a job. Get a family. Get a dog! And get a life!

Because, at the end of the day, we’re all just people. And all most people want is to freely practice their faith, raise their families, make a living, and be left alone. Nothing more.

Sadly, bullies don’t know how to leave people alone because they’re determined to violate boundaries. Bullies are all about power and control. They’re all about domination over others. That’s why it’s up to us to stand strong and refuse to change for them. It’s up to us to live our lives the way we want and to live life on our terms. Understand that bullies only have the power we allow them to have.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

5 Differences Between a Happy Life and a Crappy Life

January 5, 202247 Comments

Let’s face it, most people aren’t happy. Rare is the person who is happy. Believe it or not, most people live crappy lives and it’s the reason why rates of depression and suicide are so high. It’s also the reason we have so many people who have anger issues and who only know how to use violence to get their needs met- it’s the reason we have so many bullies and abusers running around terrorizing people.

With bullies, using fear and force to coerce others is the only way they can feel in control. Without their targets to push around, bullies would have to take stock of their own lives and admit that they’ve lost control over their circumstances.

Many targets also live crappy lives because they try to put on a fake persona to keep from being bullied and only achieve the exact opposite. Or they stop believing in themselves because others have discouraged and beaten them down for so long. They may also hang onto lowlife people they should let go of just to keep from being alone.

So, what kind of life would you like to live, a happy life or a crappy life?

Naturally, you would choose the former. Naturally, we all want to live a happy life. However, the sad thing is, not everyone knows how and because they don’t know how to go about achieving happiness, most people stay stuck on autopilot. So, let’s break it down.

What does it mean to live a happy life? And what does it mean to live a crappy life?

Here goes:

1. To live a happy life means to walk away from people who are not healthy for you. It means turning your back on people who subtly abuse you and who only use you to get something from you. It means saying goodbye to those who only come around when they want or need something. In short it means ditching the people who don’t value you and finding better people who will.

To live a crappy life means putting up with people who aren’t healthy for you. It means letting abusers and users stay in your life and continue to use and abuse you. It means not having the guts to tell these people to take a hike because you’re afraid of being alone and friendless. It means tolerating people who only come around when they want something and when they do, giving them what they want freely, while wishing and hoping to the heavens that they will see your value.

But here’s a newsflash! They won’t as long as you don’t value yourself enough to confront them and tell them to step off. And even then, they may never value you but wouldn’t you much rather do bad by yourself rather then put up with those who haven’t earned the time of day from you, much less your love and respect?

2. To live a happy life depends on how you spend your free time. It means spending your leisure time doing the things that you enjoy- making time for play. It also means using it to grow yourself- by exercising and getting healthy, by reading books and learning something to grow your brain and expand your mind. It means focusing on your hobbies and interests. It also means working on your goals.

A happy life won’t just fall into your lap. You must create your own happiness.

To live a crappy life means to sit on your butt and watch TV all afternoon. Some TV isn’t bad and can be enjoyable. But when watching TV is all you do, you get sedentary, you get lazy, and you get stagnant. Living a crappy life also means refusing to learn anything. I know people who hate to read and therefore, stay stuck because they don’t learn anything new. I also know people who don’t have goals, hobbies, nor interests. And it all makes for a boring life. Also, because they don’t have those things, these people tend to get into trouble with the law- they may go out and get drunk or high because they’re so bored. It only sets them on a path to misery and destruction.

3. To live a happy life means being yourself and owning your quirks and flaws. It means speaking your truth even if others resent you for it. It also means owning your emotions, the good and the bad ones, instead of burying them. It also means making fun of yourself when you fall on your keister from time to time.

To live a crappy life means to be someone you aren’t. It means being a fake, a fraud, an imposter. And what’s so bad about being a fake person is that you’re constantly on high alert and constantly working hard to make sure that mask doesn’t fall off. And that’s a stressful way to live. It also means to not own your emotions. For instance, someone does something to really tick you off and when others ask you how you are, you lie and tell them you’re just fine. You also try to disguise your body language and facial expressions to match your words. Rarely does that fool anyone as micro-expressions will give you away to the trained eye. Again, it’s too much work and it’s work for nothing!

It never pays to be too serious because it cannot only cause unneeded stress, it can cause serious health consequences down the road. This will only pile more crap on top of the heap you’re already dealing with.

4. To live a happy life depends on the way you do things. It means working smart and not hard. It means taking your time and doing whatever it is that you’re doing right.

To live a crappy life also depends on how you do things. It means working hard and not smart. It means rushing through whatever you’re doing and taking a chance on fouling it up and having to start again.

5. To live a happy life, you must count your blessings. This can be doggone hard to do sometimes, I understand. Things go wrong, plans don’t work out, and it can be difficult to see the silver lining when it seems your world is upside down. And I’ll let you in on a little secret- even I struggle with this sometimes. Like you, I can get into a real funk too. But we must count blessings when we think about it so that life won’t seem as dismal.

To live a crappy life, you only see the glass as half-empty and life as one big hell-pit. I had this kind of attitude years ago and it only made things worse for me. Oh, man, did I have a funky attitude. You wouldn’t have wanted to know me back then.

Before closing this post, I want to warn you that being happy doesn’t mean that everything is all peaches and cream. Even happy people have days when they don’t feel so good and days when things go wrong. Being happy doesn’t mean having a perfect life. It doesn’t mean living in zippity do-da land.

Again, what being happy really means is being authentic, growing in mind, body, and spirit, and it means having a purpose and goals to work toward. It also means allowing yourself time for play and relaxation. In a nutshell, being happy means being true to yourself and everything about you.