‘Want to know the difference between target vs victim of bullying? Here’s why the words you choose have the power to determine what you are.
Are you a target or victim? If people have made you an object for bullying, could it be that you’re not a victim but a target? Also, could it be that you’re a target not because you’re weak or inferior, but because you’re a threat?
You may not know it. But, maybe, your voice and your very being are powerful? So powerful, it scares them to death?
Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference of a target vs victim so that you can know which category you fall into and how to empower yourself.
Once you learn this important information, you will be prompted to make a few mental changes and feel more powerful.
This post is all about how to distinguish between target vs victim of bullying so that you can decide which one you’d like to be.
Target vs Victim
Which one are you?
Believe it or not, being a victim has a lot to do with mindset and words have enormous power. In other words, if you’re a victim, you’re right, but if you’re not, you’re also right. A victim mentality can only bring about more abusers, more abuse, and therefore, more victimhood.
Victim mentality only hurts you. It is the downfall of many survivors of bullying. It keeps you defeated and oppressed. Therefore, it keeps you a “victim.”
1. The term “Victim” Breeds Laziness.
Why? Because it keeps you in the mindset that you are powerless to do anything about your situation. Therefore, if you feel powerless, you’re least likely to try.
Powerless means that, no matter how hard you try, your situation will remain the same. So, you’ll see no point in putting in the effort to bring about change. And you’ll become to lazy to even try.
Therefore, you’ll only resign yourself out of hopelessness and learned helplessness. Resignation can only bring laziness.
Why? Because, when you have the victim mentality, you’re afraid of taking back your power because to do so requires personal responsibility.
Taking back your power means that you make your own reality. And you do so by making your own decisions, your own path, and your own successes.
All this requires that you take risks and face the possibility of failure. And yes! It’s scary!
However, you must create your own happiness and your own power. Whether you know how to do that, the responsibility is still there and always will be.
2. Target vs Victim:
The word “Victim” keeps you dependent.
In other words, when you’re a victim, you’re at the mercy of someone else. Moreover, it means that another person has to come rescue you. Here’s where dependency comes in.
Therefore, you must be your own hero. When you’re bullied, the only person you can depend on is you! Each of us has a responsibility to ourselves to ensure our own safety, happiness, and successes.
3. The term “victim” reeks of inferiority.
When you view yourself as a victim, subconsciously, you feel inferior. It dictates that you think that you’re nothing without the consent of another person and that’s wrong!
Therefore, I want you to know with every fiber of your being that, you’re inferior to no one! You have more power than you know. Therefore, you can change your situation.
Who is anyone to decide who you are or what you can do?
You’re not a victim. Yes, you may feel like a victim. But are you really?
This comes from personal experience.
The memoir about the bullying I endured is entitled, “From Victim to Victor (A Survivor’s True Story of Her Experiences with School Bullying). However, was I really a victim? I’ve come to realize that I was a target. However, I was never a victim!
I say this because I had the victim mentality when I was young, and it almost ruined my life. Please don’t let it ruin yours.
Being a target of bullying is one of the hardest things a person can endure. But, one thing your bullies can’t take is your mind unless you allow it. Please don’t allow them to turn you against yourself.
Why? Because that’s what they want and you deserve better. Much better!
Therefore, know that no matter how bad things get, there’s always hope.
Target vs Victim:
Which would you rather be?
Many people are under the assumption that being a target and being a victim are one and the same. However, they’re quite different and have different meanings.
Notice the difference in the actual meanings between the terms, “target” and “victim.”
A target is a mark you aim at- as in a shooter aiming his gun at targets at a gun shooting range for practice.
A victim is a person or animal who others kill and sacrifice. When someone is sacrificed, they assume the blame and punishment for the sins and shortcomings of others.
Choose Your Words Carefully
Words have enormous power- more so than most realize. Therefore, stop using the word “victim” to describe yourself. Use the word “target” instead.
Being a target is much more empowering than being a victim.
4. There’s no power in being a victim.
A target can defend themselves, whereas, a victim cannot. A victim is powerless to do anything about their situation. There’s no power nor dignity in being a victim.
However, when a person is a target, they maintain some power and dignity. In that, they lessen the impact of the bullying on their mental health.
Therefore, if you can change the way you view yourself and see your bullies exactly for who and what they are, they will have little control over you. Moreover, you’re less likely to allow their words and behavior to get into your head.
Target vs victim:
A target is a mark. a victim is prey.
In other words, a target is a person chosen by bullies as a perceived enemy to attack. On the other hand, a victim is a person bullies harm, oppress, and destroy.
The word victim says that you don’t stand up for yourself. You only capitulate. But the word target says that, although people attack you on a regular basis, you don’t give into fear. Moreover, you stand up for yourself no matter what it may cost you.
Your Choice of Words Can Have Consequences You Don’t Realize
When you view yourself as a victim, you give your bullies exactly what they want. You hand them power over your life.
You, in a sense, surrender yourself. Consequently, you will most likely to suffer physical and/or psychological damage.
On the other hand, when you see yourself as a target, you won’t acquiesce. You’re least likely to take the bully’s behavior personally. Moreover, when you have a target mentality instead of a victim mentality, you buffer your self-esteem from the attacks.
Therefore, you salvage your overall mental health. You maintain your personal power. And ultimately, you take control of your life and refuse to allow anyone to make you, their victim.
For example, I’ve witnessed both in movies and in real life, incidences of bullying where the bully would tell the target, “I’m going to make you, my bitch!” In other words, his victim.
This should give you a better understanding of why you should see yourself as a target rather than a victim. Because you are nobody’s bitch! Nope! You’re no bitch at all! You are a fighter, a warrior, a lion!
5. Target vs victim:
Victims surrender. Targets keep fighting!
Realize that your bullies’ goal is to control you. And if you see yourself as a victim, you weaken yourself. Thus, you play right into your bullies’ hands. But when you see yourself as a target and refuse to become a victim, you refuse to allow them to take control over your life.
Therefore, you keep fighting. You stand up for yourself. You may get knocked down, but you don’t stay down. Therefore, you always get back up again.
You’re a Target, Not a Victim!
It’s not my intention to minimize any suffering you’ve endured at the hands of your bullies. Bullying hurts, no doubt about it! And I feel your pain.
So, know that everything you’ve gone through is real. Your story is valid and worthy to be told and heard.
However, I want you to understand this. If you’re the object of bullying, you are a target, yes. However, you don’t have to be a victim.
Victims are scapegoats and sacrificial lambs. Targets refuse to be.
Think about it, victims accept responsibility for things they have no control over. They take blame for evils they never committed nor took part in. And when they carry these burdens that aren’t theirs to carry, they end up paying debts they don’t owe.
Here’s an example. A bully blames his target for his own anger, insecurity, jealousy, and incompetence. And it comes out in the bully’s behavior when he bullies that person. Then later the bully and others may gaslight the target when he speaks out.
Another example would be that a rapist wants to make their rape target responsible for their own sexual frustration. Then, later, the target is presumed to be at fault for the rapist’s behavior by the defense attorneys in court.
However, instead of accepting the blame, both of these people continue to stand up for themselves. This is target behavior.
Victim behavior would be if they surrendered and accepted blame for their tormentors’ behavior.
target vs victim:
A Target Endures Bullying but Refuses to Become a Victim
Sure, people hurl blame at targets just as they do at victims. However, the difference between a victim and a target is that the victim accepts the blame.
Moreover, he blames himself for what happened to him then spirals downhill into depression, regret, and self-hatred. On the other hand, a target refuses to accept the blame because he knows with every fiber of his being that his attackers are the ones in the wrong.
He sees his attackers for the cowards they are. Therefore, he sees the incessant gaslighting as proof that they’re full of shit. Moreover, he understands that they’re only trying to cover their butts to keep from being exposed.
A target won’t allow his attackers to make them a victim!
‘You see? It’s all in how you see yourself. And how you see yourself is determined by the inner dialogue you have. In other words, the words you use have ways of shaping the way you think.
Moreover, the words you speak to yourself are the difference between living in heaven or hell. In other words, they determine whether you have self-love and acceptance or depression and self-loathing.
Words also decide whether you continue to stand strong despite the attacks and pain bullies inflict, or whether you succumb to them.
Therefore, you must see yourself as a target but never a victim!
This post is all about the difference of target vs victim so that you can distinguish between them and chose to empower yourself no matter how difficult bullies make things for you.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground
2. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies
3. How to Overcome Victim Mentality: 5 Proven Mind Hacks
4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses
5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies