The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

October 25, 2024October 25, 202452 Comments

‘Want to know the advantages of having enemies? Here are all the positives that you need to know about.

Many people, especially victims of bullying, belief that having enemies is a bad thing. But, what if I told you that there are positives to having enemies?

In this post, you will learn the advantages of having enemies so that you can finally feel better about having them.

Once you learn all the positives enemies can bring, your confidence will rise and you will feel so much better about yourself. Also, you will be able to more calmly and intelligently deal with any bully who comes for you.

This post is all about the advantages of having enemies that you must be aware of in order to boost your confidence and self-esteem.

The Advantages of Having Enemies

“You can tell a man’s vises by his friends, his virtues by his enemies.” – Ben Domenech.

There is value in having enemies. If you meet a person who has not one enemy, you would naturally be suspicious of that person and wonder if they’re either lying or mistaken.

However, if they do have enemies and (even better) are proud of that, it means they stood for something at some point in life. As a result, they made some people uncomfortable.

Understand that everyone has enemies. They may not admit it or may not know it, but they do have an enemy out there somewhere.

What are the advantages of having enemies?

Before we get to the advantages, let’s first discuss why it is that most people consider enemies a bad thing.

Too many people feel that they must win a popularity contest, and they go out of their way to do it. They suck up, trying to be someone they aren’t just to run with the pack.

Moreover, they seek attention, and bully those they see as defective. What’s even sadder is that they reach a point where they don’t know who they are anymore.

The sad thing is that, in doing these self-demeaning things, they unknowingly make themselves slaves to other people’s opinions and, therefore, slaves to others.

You must know that this is a waste of time and too much work. Even worse, it chips away at your self-esteem. You end up letting yourself down to please others, and that’s not good.

Realize that the only way you can be free is to be true to yourself and let others have their opinions of you, good or bad. Realize that opinions are just that- opinions.

Opinions are like elbows. Everybody has them and they’re are just as cheap as talk.

We must learn to re-frame our attitudes about enemies.

Enemies have a negative opinion of you. Some may dislike you and some may even hate you. However, instead of trying to win over people who can’t be won, be glad that you have enemies because enemies see you as a challenge.

Moreover, some may view you as a threat to them somehow and others may want to compete with you in something.

Therefore, rest assured that having enemies can be a good thing. It’s all in the way you look at it.

Also, realize that your enemies don’t know you on a personal level, and probably never did. They aren’t and never were anyone who matters.

The weight you should give to anyone’s opinions, thoughts, or feelings depends on who holds it and and the relationship you have with those people.

Here are the advantages of having enemies:

1. Having enemies means that you stood for something.

Whether you stood up for your beliefs and convictions, or you stood up for someone being bullied, you stood for something and that angers a lot of people.

Also, you may have refused to participate in something bad. Or, you may have refused to go along with something that could’ve gotten people hurt or killed, you had the courage to be disliked. This makes you a very brave person with integrity.

Therefore, understand that bullies and their followers lack integrity. And those who don’t have integrity are people who’s approval and acceptance you don’t need. Feel great about making enemies out of them!

2. The advantages of having enemies is that you’re not afraid to be yourself.

You’re authentically you, and that’s a good thing. Sadly, there are more fake people in the world than there are people who are genuine. So, anytime you choose to just be yourself, you will make enemies. See this as a given.

Understand that when you choose to be yourself, you choose such sweet freedom. Maybe your enemies are jealous of your freedom and the confidence and strength of character you exude. Maybe they want those characteristics that you possess but don’t know how to get them.

Also, realize that fake people feel very threatened by those who decide to be themselves because a person who is true to themselves is more likely to call them out on their fakery.

Therefore, always keep these things in mind.

3. There’s power in having enemies.

Yes! You heard that correctly!

The reason for that power is that your enemies automatically make you relevant. In an enemy’s desire to “get you,” you consume their mind. In other words, they can’t stop thinking about you and obsessing over ways to stick it to you.

Therefore, which person has the power, them or you? This is true especially if you have an enemy who hates you.

4. The Advantages of having enemies: You control your enemies whether you mean to or not.

This goes back to number three because when you control something, you have power over it, whether or not it’s intentional.

An example of this would be your enemy catching sight of you at a party or in the supermarket. A flood of negative emotions immediately washes over them. Your enemy may either lash out or they may leave. Either way, you made an impact on them, regardless if it’s negative.

That’s power!

5. You might have beat them at something.

Whether your partner chose you over them or you beat them at a contest, let’s face it. Most people are sore losers, especially nowadays.

So, instead of agonizing over it, feel good about it!

6. The Advantages of Having Enemies: They motivate you to do well.

Nothing feels better than to show up an enemy. Therefore, let that be a motivation for you to follow your dreams. Continue to follow your path, work on your goals, and live your best life!

7. They can strengthen your courage and your resilience if you let them.

This means using your enemies as fuel to power through obstacles and get things done. Achieve and accomplish! Your enemies may or may not notice, but you will.

Celebrate the small wins you enjoy!

The Advantages of Having Enemies:

In Conclusion

Understand that anyone’s dislike or hatred of you more than likely comes from a place of ignorance, stupidity, bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity. Nothing more.

And take it with a grain of salt. Moreover, only value the opinions of those who know you- God, and those of you closest family members and friends.

It’s the same with your bullies and haters- they dislike or hate you out of any or all of the above filthy five characteristics mentioned above.

Furthermore, realize that to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. This means that you must value them to some degree.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them power by not allowing their thoughts and how they feel about your to control you.

Know Your Worth.

Begin seeing your worth and you realize that you are much more successful and better off than they will probably ever be. Moreover, ask yourself these questions:

“Have any of these people even reached my level?”

“Do their opinions even matter?

“Who are they that I should even care?”

Therefore, if you’re a target of bullying, you should have the same attitude. Realize that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions, especially enemies, are relevant nor do their words mean anything.

Don’t let your enemies stop you from being yourself.

Always be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Have your own preferences and make your own choices. And do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own dreams and your heart. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

So, if you have enemies, be proud of it. It means that you’ve taken a stand and that you’re not afraid to be different. If you have enemies and are okay with having them, then you have the freedom, and you can do anything you want. Always remember that

This post was all about the advantages of having enemies and what they can do for your confidence and self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

5. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

When Bullies Move the Goalposts

December 9, 202212 Comments

Understand that bullies will always judge you and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation. You won’t need to do, wear, or say anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something wrong. Moreover, just your mere presence alone will invoke their judgements and attacks.

But know this. The negative suggestions and personal attacks they hurl are strictly to control you. That’s right. They insult you to control you. Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more.

And those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies will not be happy with nor will they accept you, no matter what you do. And any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Remember! It’s all About Control!

How many attempts to satisfy these bullies are you willing to make before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that conforming and adapting accordingly to their standards of who you should be will never yield the desired results?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these people aren’t worth the powder to blow them up. When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will only see you as an easy person and lose respect for you.

The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you in the future. In other words, you teach people how to treat you by what you do or don’t put up with. And when you conform to the standards of others, you only discard your own standards.

Be Yourself in Every Way!

Isn’t it time you lived up to your own? Isn’t it time you begin living life on your own terms instead of someone else’s? Your choices, your likes and preferences, your pleasures, and your happiness should never depend on the permission of another.

Therefore, you must always be yourself. This means that you must have your own opinions, likes, dislikes, and preferences. Also, you must do the things you love most, no matter what others think. Be yourself in every way!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Life Begins When We Stop Seeking Approval

September 10, 20226 Comments

Sadly, many targets of bullying seek approval from others. Often, the people they seek approval, validation, and acceptance from are mostly people who absolutely could care less about them. Even worse, those many targets seek approval from are their bullies- people who have absolutely zero respect for them. Counterproductive, no?

What targets don’t realize is that most others’ opinions have absolutely no bearing on their lives. Yuck!

If you are a target of bullying and this applies to you, ask yourself these questions aloud:

If these people never gave a hoot about me or my life to begin with, then who are they that I should seek approval from?

Who are they that I must impress?

Are they really so important that I should pretend to be someone I’m not?

Who are they that I have to lie?

Who are they that I must expend so much of my effort and energy for?

Are these creeps people I should chase and crawl up behind?

Who are they that I should beg?

Never Give Anyone Value They Haven’t Earned

Notice those last two questions and the words “chase,” “crawl up behind,” and “beg.” They will immediately jump out at you and may even make you angry. And you know what? They should. Remember that you’re seeking their approval. Therefore, those three things are basically what you’re doing. Never seek approval from bullies, abusers, or anyone who neither respects you nor gives a crap about you. Because, when you do, you are, in a sense, giving them value they haven’t earned.

If, at any time, you must suppress parts yourself to gain validation, approval, or acceptance from another person, you short change yourself. Realize that a bully will never add value or benefit to your life. Therefore, they haven’t earned the honor and privilege of being in your life. They don’t even deserve to be in your presence.

When you submit to and follow the standards of others for the sake of validation and acceptance, you only lower your own standards.

You Don’t Need the Approval of Anyone Who Isn’t Worthy

Stop busting your butt to gain other people’s approval because their approval isn’t needed. And their opinions need not apply. If anyone ever tries to impose their so-called rules and standards on you, especially if they aren’t your parents, or a well-meaning teacher or supervisor, you have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to tell that person to go crawl back under the horse-apple they wormed and wiggled their way from beneath.

Understand that you only give these creeps something they haven’t earned, don’t deserve, and have no business having- you give them your power! You give them your freedom!

You give them control over your life! The above are things they have no right to and that are yours and yours alone, and these precious commodities are those they will only exploit, use, and abuse.

But once you take them back by ceasing to care what they think, your life will only get better. Take it from me. I’m living proof.

Life begins when you stop caring about their opinions and begin living life on your terms. Try it. I guarantee that you’ll thank yourself later!

Don’t you know you deserve to be happy? I do.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Reality Check: Not Everyone You Meet is Going to Like You

May 6, 202251 Comments

Like is subjective.

Not everyone is going to like you. Some may even hate you. But remember this! It’s their problem, not yours.

No matter how good, talented, famous, great, or small you are or who you are, it’s estimated that 10-35% of the people you know will not like you.

But always stay true to yourself, your beliefs, and your convictions. Use your God-given talents to the best of your ability. Be the best you can be and you will be happy.

Realize that everyone- EVERYONE, has someone who doesn’t like them. And if you don’t have enemies, then you’re doing something wrong.

If those who are exceptional, like celebrities, politicians, and athletes have people who dislike them or hate them, it should be proof that there’s nothing wrong with you.

So, feel good about yourself. Embrace everything about yourself. Appreciate the people who love you. Let love in and let yourself shine!

4 Things That Happen When We Seek Approval and 3 Ways to Turn It Around

November 3, 20219 Comments

Too many targets are bullied so frequently and for so long they begin to look for any crumb of validation they can find. They think that somehow, kissing up will win them friends and allies. But it only ends up doing the opposite. It only gets them doubly ridiculed and bullied. Also, it attracts even more users and abusers into their lives.

But what else happens when you consistently seek approval?

1. You lose your freedom and autonomy to be yourself and to do what you want to do. You give away your personal power and become a slave to the thoughts and opinions of others.

2. You lose sight of your goals and aspirations and replace them with goals of being liked, approved of, and favored by others. And the fact is, there’s no guarantee that you will be liked, approved of, or favored because there’s no way you can control the thoughts, opinions, actions, or words of other people. You are the only person in the entire world that you can control, which makes it that much more important that you keep your focus on you because you are your only guarantee. At the end of the day, all you have is you.

3. You stop being creative. You only become a carbon copy of someone else, their style, and their way of thinking and doing things. When you do this, your creativity suffers. It’s much better to be original!

4. You copy others. You give up the ability to think for yourself. Instead of having opinions of your own, you conform to the opinions and beliefs that are most popular. You say what others want to hear and do what others want you to do and how they want you to do it. In short, you allow yourself to be programmed and become a robot!

Understand that not everyone will like you or support you. And not everyone will want the best from you or for you. Some may, in fact, hate you and judge you harshly. They may even derail you from your goals and sabotage your success.

When you seek validation and approval, you only look for permission from others, which will leave you feeling controlled and imprisoned. It’ll also erode your self-esteem. Each time you engage in approval-seeking behavior, you lose a piece of yourself until you completely forget who you are. Not good!

So, how do you break this nasty habit?

1. You start by accepting and loving yourself. All parts of yourself- the good, the bad, and the ugly!

2. Count all the qualities of yourself that you’re proud of. Everyone has great qualities. Find yours, and list them.

Vector illustration of a grovel in business

3. Ditch and Switch. Walk away from the negative people who make you feel bad about yourself. And don’t look back! Rid yourself of the haters, the naysayers, the whiners, complainers, and those with self-defeating attitudes. Replace them with people who love you, who want nothing but your best. Seek people who lift you up and those you feel safe around. Choose people who are happy and who take responsibility for their lives instead of those who bellyache and blame others for their misfortunes.

Understand that no one wants a copy. They want an original!

Realize that once you do these things, you might get a lot of pushback at first. Many people get threatened and angry anytime you make positive changes in your life, and they may give you tons of grief for it.

But understand that they give you a hard time because they were benefiting somehow when you sought approval and they don’t want to lose those benefits. Also, understand that we live in a world full of copies- where most people only conform and seek approval themselves. So, it’s only natural that you get pushback.

Embrace the pushback and keep doing what’s right for you. To hell with what others might think, say, or how they act! Only you can know what’s right for you. No one else knows your inner reality but you. So, trust that and trust yourself. I guarantee that you’ll be surprised at how it’ll change your life for the better. And you’ll only thank yourself for it later!

Knowledge is empowering!

Never Expect Everyone to Like You

October 18, 202145 Comments