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the effects of bullying at school

The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

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‘Want to know the effects of bullying so that you can take steps to salvage your mental health? Here are all the aftereffects victims suffer.

the effects of bullying

Bullying crushes your spirit. It sucks the joy out of life and reprograms the mind. If you aren’t careful, you’ll begin to believe the lies bullies tell you and see yourself through your bullies’ eyes.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the effects of bullying so that you’ll recognize these aftereffects when you feel them.

Once you learn all about these crushing mental health consequences, you will be more compelled to take steps to protect your self-esteem.

This post is all about the effects of bullying so that you will become proactive in guarding your mental health from social leeches who wish to destroy it.

The Effects of Bullying

Sadly, bullies have ways of making you believe that, just maybe, they have a justifiable reason to bully you. However, you can’t seem to figure what it is.

Realize that this is your first clue that they’re lying to you. In other words, if someone tells you that you deserve bad treatment but can’t give you any reasons why, there may not be any reasons for their behavior.

Therefore, when you try to find out why, you’re probably searching for reasons that aren’t there. Understand that this is a sign that your bullies are only gaslighting you.

However, most victims of bullying don’t stop and think about these things. Therefore, they make extra efforts to explain themselves more clearly. Moreover, they cling to the hope that the bullies will go away and leave them alone.

If you suffer bullying, you must realize that your bullies may give you small reprieves from their harassment. Moreover, they may even act friendly toward you.

However, be warned! This is only a game they play to keep you confused and on the back foot! Put another way, bullies give you those breaks and occasional nicey-nice acts to get your hopes up and make you forget about the past.

Then, all of a sudden, they blindside you with another brutal attack. Therefore, understand that this is a mind-game they play.

This is equal to love-bombing by a person with narcissistic personality disorder. They build you up so that they can tear you back down again.

The effects of bullying: The Push and Pull Technique

Understand that the bullies are using the age-old push and pull technique to keep you trying to make friends out of them.  As a result, it only keeps you trapped inside the bully/victim dynamic.

They will also recruit others to side with them. Again, they do all this to keep you confused.  But know that this is how bullies maintain power over you.

In other words, if your bullies can keep your hopes up, it’s likely that you’ll feel compelled to keep jumping through hoops to prove yourself worthy.

The reprieves have the same purpose.

Here’s how it goes: Bullies stop bullying you for a while, and once you let your guard down and begin feeling safe and confident again, BAM! They attack! Therefore, realize that bullies, like all abusers, do this deliberately!

 Over time, bullying can cause these 20 effects on you:

1. Hyper-vigilance

You’re always on guard. You no longer trust yourself to act on your own volition and spontaneity or make your own decisions.

In other words, you’re constantly self-monitoring. You carefully construct your every move so that you don’t look weird, st*pid, or off-putting to others.

Spontaneity is gone. For instance, if something is funny, most people laugh without having to think about it. That’s spontaneity. When you can even laugh at something funny because you’re too afraid of what others will think, that’s a bad sign.

Also, you don’t make your own decisions and act on your own volition because you’re afraid others will criticize you for it.

2. The Effects of Bullying:

Increasing self-doubt

Bullying fills you with uncertainty of how you come across to others. Moreover, you feel you must be extra careful not to be or sound too sensitive or like you’re whining when you report the abuse.

You doubt your abilities and your worth. Moreover you allow your bullies to gaslight you into believing that you somehow cause their abuse when you really do not.

3. You think that something is wrong with you.

Bullies often convince you that something is wrong with you. In fact, they may even try to make you believe that everything is wrong with you. However, you must realize that this is what they want you to think. Why? Because bullies are afraid that if you ever notice that they’re the ones with the issues, you just might grow a spine and tell them to piss off!

4. You second-guess yourself.

This is a close brother to self-doubt. You constantly wonder. “Did I make the right choice?” “Am I being too sensitive?” “Do I measure up to everyone else?”

Understand that this is no way to live. Therefore, it’s imperative that you stop caring what people think and just do what makes you feel good. Free yourself from the chains of other people’s approval and you experience total freedom.

5. The Effects of Bullying:

You Constantly replay and review bullying incidents to figure out what went wrong.

In other words, you ruminate. You mind plays the scenario over and over like a broken record. However, this often leaves you feeling worse.

So, stop this now! Realize that nothing went wrong but your bullies’ deplorable behavior. You must realize that you can’t control others behavior.

Each person decides how they’re going to act toward you. And once you realize that people choose how to treat you, you will no longer feel the need for any replays.

6. You lose your zest for life.

In other words, you lose your happiness and peace of mind. Also, you lose the excitement of things to come.

7. You lose your confidence.

Once you lose confidence in yourself, you’ll be to afraid to try new things for fear of failure. Moreover, you’ll give up on yourself.

As a result, you’ll live a mediocre life.

8. You have a constant inner critic.

In other words, you often engage in negative self-talk, even if it’s in your mind.

9. The Effects of Bullying:

You fear that you’re going bonkers.

Bullies have ways of making you feel like you’re going stark raving mad. This is due to the incessant gaslighting they dish out to keep you from noticing that it’s them who have the issues and not you.

10. You have a dreadful sense that time is passing and you’re missing out

When people bully you, they’ll block you from having friends and enjoying positive experiences that others get to enjoy. Therefore, bullying can give victims FOMO and the sense that they are, in fact, missing out on a lot of things in life.

11. You get a growing sense that you aren’t happy but you should be.

Bullying strips you of any happiness you might otherwise enjoy. Moreover, what bit of happiness you do manage to scrounge up for yourself is often an illusion.

For example, you might attach yourself to the wrong people and attract friends who are fake and only come around when they need something from you.

And you may think that they really care for you when they really don’t. That kind of happiness is a mirage and it’s fleeting.

12. The Effects of Bullying:

You believe you can’t do anything right.

Bullies have ways of making you believe that everything under the sun is wrong with you. Moreover, they make you think that you can’t do anything right.

Therefore, know that they have the issues, not you and that there are many things you can do right. See your bullies for who they are. And who they are, are your enemies who are out to destroy your confidence in your abilities.

13. You feel discombobulated and off-balance.

Bullying and peer abuse makes you feel off-balance. The bewilderment and confusion bullies cause you is the reason for it. Therefore, learn everything you can about bullying.

This means reading and learning about bullying from all angles! Moreover, it means learning about different types of bullies, their tactics, and the mindset behind those tactics.

I promise you that once you learn all about these things, you will feel so much better about yourself. Even better, you will be able to protect yourself more effectively.

14. You have a distrust in relationships.

Bullying can cause you to fear being harmed and suffering more bullying in the future. Therefore, you shut everyone out to be safe.

However, this is bad because, any time you withdraw from others, you cheat yourself out of wonderful opportunities to make friends. Moreover, you miss out on those who might prove to be true friends and wonderful assets to your life.

So, see total strangers as opportunities and give them a chance because, you just never know.

15. The Effects of Bullying:

You lose faith in humanity.

In other words, you adopt the belief that all people are inherently evil and enjoy seeing others suffer. Bullying can make you believe that other people just aren’t safe.

16. You have an overwhelming desire to escape and get away from the bullying environment.

When you’ve suffered severe and long-term bullying from the same toxic people in the same toxic place, all you want to do is to get away from the creeps! This goes especially if circumstances, such as finances, keep you stuck there.

Understand that this feeling is normal and that one day, a door will open and you’ll get the opportunity to pick up and leave. So, don’t give up hope.

17. You constantly live in the future.

In other words, you believe, “things will be better when I graduate.”  Or, you may think, “Life will get better when I turn eighteen.”

The running theme in your mind will be that life will get better when you get another job, move away, get married, have children, etc.

Child and teen victims of school bullying often wish for the future. Therefore, because of the bullying you suffer in school now, you long for the future.

You daydream about the day when you can finally graduate and get away from the creeps who make your existence at school a living hell.

However, know that this is normal for anyone in your situation and it isn’t your fault.

The Effects of Bullying:

In Conclusion

If bullies are making your life a nightmare and you have any of the above symptoms, leave the toxic place, if you can. Why? Because, any time you’re so hurt and perplexed that you cannot tell which end is up, you’re living in hell, and it’s no way to live.

You deserve peace, happiness, and confidence. Go where you can flourish, and your spirit can get the nourishment it desperately needs.

This post is all about the effects of bullying so that you can recognize the symptoms and take steps to get your life back on track.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

4. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

5. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

5 Reasons You Have Haters

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“Want to know 5 reasons you have haters? Here are the most common reasons why haters are always nipping at your heels. (Psst! It’s not you. It’s them.)

5 reasons you have haters

Haters live to spite you and cause you lots of stress. They love to see you fail and despise it when you score a win. Even the greatest have haters. Therefore, what if I told you that having haters can be a good thing and you could use it to your advantage?

Most victims of bullying see haters as a bad thing. In other words, they see them as a hindrance to their progress. However, they don’t have to be. It depends on how you look at it and how you use it.

In this post, you will learn the 5 reasons you have haters and why it can actually be a good thing.

Once you learn all about these nasty people and the real reasons they pray for your fall, you will feel so much better about yourself. Moreover, your loathers will no longer be so threatening to you. In fact, you may even come to enjoy watching their childishness to some degree.

This post is about the 5 reasons you have haters and why they aren’t as intimidating as you might think.

5 Reasons You have Haters

Many of the greatest, most tender-hearted, and level-headed people in the world have a pack of haters behind them. And many of them don’t understand why.

Moreover, down through the years, many of theses people have stopped and asked, “What did I ever do to them?” or “I know I’m not a bad person and I treat everyone how I would want to be treated. So, what is it that they (the haters) think is wrong with me?”

I’ve got to admit it. I asked the same questions many times when I was young and it happened to me. But here’s a little assurance.

First, if you are one of those good people who certain others hate on, it’s normal to ask the same questions and wonder why.

Secondly, let me tell you: You didn’t do anything to them. In fact, you did nothing wrong.

Thirdly, what they think is wrong with you doesn’t matter. Moreover, what they think period doesn’t matter.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you. In other words, I want you to know that you’re okay. You’re enough. And you’re awesome just the way you are.

I know what you’re likely to say next and you’re probably thinking it now: “But there’s got to be some reason they hate me so much.”

And you’re right. There are many reasons your haters hate you. But those reasons have nothing to do with you and everything to do with them.

1. They don’t have a life.

Or they don’t have one that’s meaningful. Also, most haters aren’t what they appear to be. Many are life losers who have no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

So, they have nothing better to do than to hate on others. Many of these types of haters are broke, jobless, partner-less, and live in their mommy’s basement.

Only they would never in a million years tell you this. In fact, they’d go out of their way to keep that hidden because, if it ever got out, they’d lose face and, therefore, lose much of their power.

Bullying you is their power because they can’t get it any place else.

Therefore, to feel better about themselves, they’ll troll your social media pages, make incendiary comments, and post vile things about you. If they happen to be local to your area and you know them, they’ll talk trash about you behind your back.

Moreover, they smear and slander you, trying to kill your reputation, your opportunities and prospects. These types of haters are bored with life and the only entertainment and rush of endorphins they can get is to cause drama in other people’s lives.

Again, it’s the only source of power they have left.

Therefore, these are the types of people you should feel sorry for because they live truly miserable and pathetic lives. And the only way they can feel powerful is to ruin other people’s lives.

Sadly, we have so many people like that today, and many of them get involved in the cancel culture that’s so prevalent. Again, understand that this is a last-ditch effort for them to achieve power. Unfortunately for the rest of us, it seems to work for them.

2. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

They’re not happy in their lives.

This can go hand in hand with number 1. However, some people can have everything, a good job, a nice home, good family, and still not be happy. Therefore, what they lack is contentment.

Or, it could be that they aren’t happy with some things in their life. Whatever it may be, their attitude is this. If they can’t be happy, then by George, they’re going to make sure you’re not happy either.

In other words, they want to take away your peace of mind and bring you down to their level of misery. And you aren’t the only one. T

here are probably other people they do this to as well. Again, this person is a miserable individual and you shouldn’t hate them back, you should only pity them.

3. You have something they don’t have.

No one ever said life was fair. Some people can, and some can’t. Some have, and some don’t. It’s a hard part of reality that makes some people angry.

Why? Because they can’t seem to figure out how to obtain the things they want. So, they hate on anyone who has the things they (the haters) have been longing for and who has life a little easier than they do.

Moreover, this is probably the reason they don’t have the things they desire. They’re too busy focusing on what you have rather than focusing and working hard to attain those goals for themselves.

I know many lazy people who sit around wishing for things all the time. They don’t want to work for what they want, yet they get outraged at those who work hard and who end up achieving the things they (the haters) are wishing for.

The haters never stop to think that, if you want something, you must make it a goal. Moreover, you must focus on that goal and work hard, no matter how long it takes to attain it.

However, most haters either don’t want to work for what they want. And if they do work, they either make the wrong choices, or, sometimes, it’s just that life doesn’t work out how they want.

Nevertheless, hating only hurts them and not you. Why? Because you probably don’t know about it and if you do, you have the choice to not care.

4. 5 Reasons You Have Haters:

Jealousy.

This goes back to you having something your haters don’t have.  Moreover, it goes back to those poor souls not being happy in their lives.

Whether it’s an admirable trait you may have, such as the ability to make friends easily, or how you look. They don’t want you to have it.

Your haters could be jealous of what you have, or your ability to be happy. They want to take it all from you because they don’t have it and don’t think they can ever get it.

Therefore, feel good about it. This isn’t to say that you should be buddies with them, but just feel good about yourself, knowing these people exist.

5. Your good qualities are a threat to them.

In other words, you make them look bad. You cause them to compare themselves with you and see you as competition.

And if they ever feel like you’re winning over them, look out!

Therefore, realize that you aren’t at fault here. It was nothing you said or did to ruffle their feathers and there’s nothing wrong with you.

You are enough. In fact, you are awesome! Your haters only say otherwise to mess with your mind and throw you off balance. Don’t let them do that to you!

Moreover, they want to rip your confidence and self-esteem to shreds because if they can’t have the very thing that they want that you were blessed with, they’ll go after something you have that they think is easier to take. And that’s your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, if your haters can’t rob you of the things you have and they wish they had, then they’ll rob you of your mental health. And they’ll attack your psychological well-being to balance and even the score a little.

This is how they operate. However, haters only win if you allow them to tear you down.

Haters can stress you out, yes. But they can also motivate you. So, be your best self and keep your haters blabbing. Think about it. Your haters are the ones who keep you relevant.

They’re your biggest fans, if you really think about it, because haters are the people who watch you the closest.

This post was all about the 5 reasons you have haters. It’s purpose is to make you feel better about having them because, if you have the power to make someone hate you without cause, then you’ve got some kind of power!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

2. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

5. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

“My Give-A-Dam is Busted!”

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If you are a target of bullying, there are times when you get fed up with people’s crap. Then…BOOM! You snap on some creep who pushed you over your limit. Believe me, I understand and if this has happened with you, I cannot fault you for it. I empathize with you wholeheartedly.

It’s not that you want to fight. In fact, you hate fighting- intensely. However, if you’re a 5’4”, 120 lb. teenage girl with a target on her back, what do you do? Stand there and let them jump you?

Like most targets, I too hated to fight but there were times I didn’t have a choice. It was either fight or be beaten within an inch of my life. Not only the girls would try to jump me, but the guys would too and most of those redneck brutes had no qualms nor reservations about beating up on a female, even one who was little. Some of the bullies at Oakley High threatened with a knife or a box-cutter and it’s amazing I got out of there alive.

But that’s what bullying does to people if they don’t have the proper psychological tools, confidence, or know-how to deal with it. It makes them paranoid, makes them desperate, puts them in survival mode! In other (and more scientific) words, it awakens their primal instincts. It rewires their brains in preparation for a hostile environment.

A target of bullying must live in constant vigil and adrenaline. They must always be on alert- they must grow eyes in the back of their heads and be prepared for danger every time they turn a corner. That gets both frustrating and exhausting after so long.

I cannot count the times in school I showed my booty to people after having taken all I could take. And there were times I didn’t just let off a little stream, I blew a gasket!

The longer you are bullied, the more it builds- the sense of injustice, the sadness, the rage. It all piles up. We are all human and no one can hold that crap inside forever it doesn’t matter how resilient they are. It’s humanly impossible.

You’re like a bottle of soda that’s been shaken up until it finally spews.

Like a dormant volcano that finally awakens, you erupt when that last (and unfortunate) creep sticks as much as a toe over your boundaries. Some people, you scare half to death, others, you piss off even more and make twice as determined to get you, and few see your tirade as personal entertainment.

I did that a few times back when I was being bullied and abused at school.

There were times I’d yell, curse the bullies out, throw stuff, and slam doors. I would tell people to get the eff away from me and not to come back around. I admit it. I showed the worst sides of myself on a few occasions.

I remember grabbing one girl by the hair and beating the living snot out of her in the library after she’d spent the last month getting in my face and taunting during the last class of the day.

Another bully received the business end of a fist after attempting to shove me down a flight of stairs. I remember running back up the stairs, whacking her upside the head with a fist, a second time with my purse, then a textbook. The next thing I remember is dragging her down the stairs. She seemed to hit and bounce off every step going down.

Once I got her to the bottom, I beat and kicked her until a teacher and three other students pried me off her. These were only two of the many incidents that occurred during those years.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s not something I’m proud of. Each time, I remember feeling terrible about it after it was over, and everything had cooled off. No decent person wants to lose their cool and act a fool, but when you been pushed and pushed, there is an eventual breaking point.

Yes, I got into fist fights. I won some fights but lost a few too.

Sadly, it all seemed to be a cycle. After getting bullied and bullied for several months, I’d snap. Some of the tiredness bled over into my home life. Sadly, when bullies have worn you down, you’re too exhausted to even be there for the people you love when they have problems too. You’re fresh out of patience and energy, and yes, even love.

You can’t pour from an empty cup and as a result, you just don’t give a crap- about anything or anybody. All you want is to be left alone.

I look back now and realize that I didn’t handle the bullying the right way. Understand that if you don’t set healthy boundaries, this is what can happen.

Today, I’m a much calmer and happier person than I used to be. Why? Because I’m more assertive and I set boundaries. If I say no or ask someone to please stop doing something when they violate my boundaries, and they insist on continuing the behavior, I either tell them to leave right then, or I walk away after telling the person exactly what I think of them. I then cut them out of my life.

I have learned that, although you cannot control another person’s behavior, you do have control over your own and whether to continue having them in your life. And if you refuse to associate with a person, they no longer have easy access to you. Therefore, it’s not nearly as easy for them to get to you and harm you.

So, never allow people to bully you and get out of control with their abuse. Speak out when people violate your boundaries. It’s the only way to keep the pressure from building and reaching a boiling point.

If this has been your experience, feel free to comment.