Adult Survivors of School Bullying: 19 Things They Do Differently

‘Want to know how adult survivors of school bullying differ from other adults? Here you’ll find way just how differently they handle people and what they do that most others don’t.

adult survivors of school bullying

Targets of school bullying often learn tough lessons- lessons that they carry into adulthood. Bullying shapes their personalities, and the ways they do things once they leave school and move away from their tormentors.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how adult survivors of school bullying differ from other adults. Moreover, you will learn their attitudes and how they handle social situations.

Once you learn all about these differences, you will be able to tell if you fall into this category and why you should be proud that you overcame and come away from it stronger than ever.

This post is all about adult survivors of school bullying and how they differ from adults who weren’t bullied as kids.

Adult Survivors of School Bullying

School bullying can teach you some hard life-lessons, things you carry into adulthood. School bullying changes you. It changes the ways you do things. Also, it changes your attitude and the way you handle people.

So, if you were bullied in school as a kid, how do you differ from other adults?

1. You Watch others Closely.

Your experiences with bullies during school sharpened your emotional and social intelligence. Because you learned very early on how evil people can be, you know how to watch others without looking like you’re watching them.

You notice body language, facial expressions, micro-expressions, tonality, delivery, and demeanor. Your people-sense wasn’t fully developed during school years. Therefore, back then, you often let those in your life who were only there to do harm you.

Moreover, you paid dearly for it. Therefore, as an adult, you watch closely and avoid such people.

2. You no longer fear saying “no” and will sometimes say it simply because You can!

When you were a schoolkid, bullies violated your boundaries to such an extent that they silenced you. As a result, no one allowed you to protest when something didn’t feel right.

People forced you to take a lot of abuse. However, now that you’re an adult, you get to decide what you will and will not tolerate. Moreover, you exercise that freedom and autonomy every chance you get!

Why? Because saying no and setting boundaries gives you a feeling of empowerment.

3. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You’re a no-nonsense adult.

You learned, early on, the games people play. Therefore, manipulators can’t dupe you so easily. You live by the old, “fool me once…” saying and hold it close to your heart.

4. You Solidly refuse to take any crap from anyone.

And this goes no matter the consequences you face. You took enough crap from classmates in school. And you took even more of it from a few rotten apples, who called themselves school staff.

 As an adult, you’re even more determined not to let others violate your boundaries.

5. You don’t give people many chances.

To you, first impressions are important, so anyone you meet had better make it count. These are your mottoes.

  • One red flag, I’m gone!
  • One bad vibe, goodbye!
  • Any attempts to bullshit, see ya!

In the past, you were too forgiving of others. Therefore, others took you for granted and mistook your kindness for weakness. They then exploited your kindness. Moreover, they did it much to your humiliation.

Therefore, you refuse ever again subject yourself to such abuse.

6. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You Work Your ass off!

Why? Because you’re tenacious when it comes to getting what you want. Therefore, you’ll stop at almost nothing to reach success.

You had enough of what you didn’t want while in school. Others called you a failure many times back then. This lit a fire under you. In other words, it made you that much more determined to succeed at everything you set out to do.

In fact, you may do it for no other reason than to show the haters and naysayers that you can! Show them up and shut them up is another motto you hold.

7. You like having control over You own life.

 Moreover, you will do anything to keep that control.

You had enough of others taking control of your life long ago. Therefore, you will shut down the first jack-weed who tries to take away your personal power.

8. You can spot a bully a mile away.

… in the dark! Yes! You’re that good! For years, you dealt with bullies in school on a daily basis. Therefore, you know the signs by heart.

This makes you nearly expert, at pointing out the troublemakers.

9. You either avoid bullies like the plague or take extreme pleasure in putting them in their places.

You’ve grown to looove standing up to bullies and they will call them out every chance you get. Moreover, you love to make bullies feel like the losers they are.

Understand that you do this, remembering all the times you didn’t or couldn’t defend yourself in school.

10. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You have a thick skin that has become difficult for others outside your circle, to penetrate.

That’s your power. You love being unpredictable and keeping others on their toes. In other words, you love making them try and figure you out  because it’s fun.

11. You can’t stand to watch others being made fun of and will rush to their defense.

You’re not afraid to get nose to nose with a bully if you must. Moreover, you defend others from bullies not only to help them. Subconsciously, you do it to make up for all the times you felt helpless.

This compensates them for all the times you didn’t or couldn’t defend yourself against bullies in school.

12. You Have a nose for horseshit.

If someone tries to feed you a load of hogwash, you know it instantly and instinctively. Moreover, you see it as an insult to your intelligence and become angry.

Why? Because you know that the liar thinks you’re too foolish to figure them out. Therefore, you won’t hesitate to call the creep out!

13. You can More easily pick up on the emotions of others.

You cannot stand the thought of causing emotional or physical harm to another person. However, only if that person isn’t trying to harm you first.

14. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

You place extra value on your families and friends.

You take extreme care not to take those you love for granted. Why? Because you know what it’s like to be completely alone and have no friends at all.

Therefore, you cherish your family and friends and the time you spend with them.

15. You are, in some ways, selfish.

You put a lot of value on yourself and your wants, needs, and interests. Why? Because others didn’t value you as a kid during school.

Therefore, you make it a point to put yourself first in almost everything. The only people you put ahead of you are your children, spouse, and parents.

16. Words don’t convince You. Only actions and patterns do.

Back in the day, others duped you. You heard a mountain of empty promises and cheap words and paid dearly for believing them.

Therefore, you’ll be damned if you ever repeat that mistake.

17. You live by your gut instincts.

In other words, you trust your gut because you paid a heavy price for ignoring it. Therefore, you now have a sixth sense.

You’re excellent at picking up vibes (especially bad ones) and reading people and their intentions. If something or someone doesn’t feel right, you won’t hesitate to either walk away or tell the suspicious person to take a long walk off a short pier.

18. Adult Survivors of School Bullying:

If anyone tells you that you Can’t, you’ll do it anyway.

Moreover, you’ll do it just to show them that you can. On the other hand, if someone tells you not to do something and you’ll do it and take pictures.

You only see it as a challenge. Therefore, you’ll do just the opposite of what the other person says, just to show them up.

For example, you may work toward a goal and have naysayers who try to discourage you. Instead of listening to them, you only double down. You then reach your goal and end up living an enriching life!

19. You don’t send your kids to the same school you were bullied in.

HELL NO!

In fact, hell will freeze before you allow your children to grace the halls of the school.
What parent worth their own salt would subject their children to that kind of learning environment if they could help it?

You know that bullies tend to take jobs that give them authority (Teaching, Law Enforcement, Corrections Officer, Supervisor, etc.). Moreover, you know that many of your former bullies will probably be teachers by the time your babies reach school age. You also know that teaching is the second-highest profession for workplace bullying.

Also, you know the mentality of bullies. If they hated you first, they will hate your children even more.

In other words, if they targeted you, it’s a safe bet that they’ll would target your babies once the bullies find out that you’re the parent.

Therefore, you’ll send your children to another school or you’ll home-school them.

This post was all about adult survivors of school bullying and the things they do differently so that you can find out if you see yourself in a few or all of these characteristics.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Effects Mental Health

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

5. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

6. The 4 Stages of Bullying

open letter to bullies at school

Open Letter to Bullies: From One who Overcame

Here is an open letter to bullies from a victim who survived and overcame them. These are the words victims want to say to their bullies someday.

open letter to bullies

open letter to bullies

Sometimes it’s does victims good to write an open letter to bullies… without sending it, of course. Here is what millions of victims around the world would love to say to their bullies.

In this post, you will read an open letter to bullies so that  you can get a sneak peek into the mind of every victim of bullying.

Once you learn what victims of bullying really think, not only will you relate to these words if you’ve even been bullies, but you will understand that you aren’t alone in your fight.

This post is all about the open letter to bullies and what victims think but almost never get the chance to say.

Open Letter to Bullies

Much to your chagrin, I’m no longer the naive kid of yesterday, but the wise adult of today. And the beauty of getting older is the wisdom you store up and the realization that you’re perfect just the way you are and always have been.

Moreover, you realize that you never needed certain people in the first place and that some people don’t belong in your life.

Another great thing about getting older is that you become completely secure and comfortable in your own skin. You can speak your mind no matter who sees and hears it because you could care less what others think.

Who are you, anyway? Who are any of you to think you can define anyone?

I’m the only one who can decide who I am because I’m the only one who has that kind of power.

So many people tell me things, and it is people you’d never expect. ‘You know. Those who tell you stories of people you could care less about and regardless of whether you want to hear them? Yeah, those types.

Believe it or not, some of them are people you think are your friends.

Oh, yeah! They stop me in places like the supermarket and the gas station, or when I’m just passing through. They tell me that many of you keep up with my social media posts and regularly read my blog. Yep. I know all about it.

So, I don’t doubt that you’ll read this blog post too. Therefore, I’m writing this to help you indulge yourselves. Because you only expose yourselves and your obsession.

Open Letter to Bullies:

Most people are blessings, you, on the other hand, were only lessons.

To be real, I could care less about what or how any of you are doing. Because you were only people God was teaching me to look out for. In other words, you were lessons, not blessings. And the things I take away from having the displeasure of even knowing you are these:

That if I can survive your obsessive bullying and mobbing for six long years, then I can survive anything. Oh, yes! You most certainly showed me my own strength, resilience, and determination.

You showed me the type of people I don’t want in my life and who aren’t good enough to be in it. Moreover, you showed me the type of person I never want to become.

You gave me a much better appreciation for the real friends I have today. Also, you gave me a thick skin and a fighting spirit.

You gave me clarity- clarity of what I want and what I will and will not tolerate. Additionally, you gave me the confidence to know that hard times are only temporary and they will eventually pass.

Your degradation gave me the drive and determination to have what I want out of life. And your bullying was the motivation I needed to work hard and keep going after it until I reach my dreams.

You gave me the desire not only to learn and improve my knowledge of bullying.  You also gave me the will to use what you tried to do to protect other innocents from people like you.

Open Letter to Bullies:

You didn’t destroy me, you only motivated me.

Also, you gave me the ability to spot a liar and fake a mile away… in the dark! It’s funny how dealing with the likes of you can give one the ability to point out other liars and fakes without ever meeting them.

Therefore, I survived because my determination to remain standing superseded your desperation to tear me down. I overcame because the fire inside me burned hotter and brighter than the fire you ignited around my feet.

My efforts to reach happiness and success outmatched your efforts to keep me miserable and in failure. Moreover, my strength to keep going was much bigger than the force you expended to stop me.

I prevailed against odds that would’ve been overwhelming for the likes of you.

I graduated because I kept pushing myself and went on living through enormous threats and terrible circumstances. These were pressures under which you wusses would’ve dropped out of school.

Most people would’ve hated you. But I don’t. ‘You know why?

Because hate is a waste of energy, I’d rather spend my energy focusing on my goals. I’m too busy working on myself and pursuing my own agenda to hate on anyone. I make it about me. That’s right, all about me, my family, and my goals.

You only made a winner out of me.

I’ll give you this much. For a while, you had me down and even managed to keep me there during school. I forgot who I was. Or maybe without meaning to, I allowed you to take the knowledge of who I was from me. You even succeeded in making me out to be the troubled one.

And while you bullied, harassed, name-called, slut-shamed, shoved, tripped, jumped, beat, choked, and kicked me- even threatened my life with a blade on two different occasions; I was told to ignore it, to toughen up, and not to snitch.

Even worse, you had the chutzpah to tell me to be thankful that your abuse wasn’t worse and to just take it in silence.

Open Letter to Bullies:

But it didn’t last.

You couldn’t keep me in your little box. And once I slipped through your fingers, I began to flourish.

In the end, you only made a fighter and a winner out of me. You ended up making me more determined to love myself.  The girl who used to finish last now finishes first. Why? Because I put myself first.

When you all attacked me, others judged me unfairly and brutalized me- bystanders and even those I thought were friends. And that was worse because the betrayal was more devastating than the bullying and mobbing itself.

Oh, yes. I’ll admit. People, even a few school staff, only scoffed when I went to them for help. They sneered when I tried to explain to them the hell you were putting me through.

When I needed a listening ear and a shoulder to cry on, they only ignored me. When I needed someone to care, understand, and make sense of what was happening, they abandoned me.

Therefore, for a while, you won.

I even went against my better judgment and asked many of you why. Not even you could give me a straight answer.  This should’ve been my first clue that none of you knew why you acted so ignorant. Chances are, you still don’t.

Though I was only a kid and didn’t realize it back then, it’s only proof that you had no excuse nor justification for the simple way you behaved. And the most astonishing part was you didn’t need any evidence of any wrongdoing to launch your petty attacks.

Open Letter to Bullies:

I’m No Longer Afraid of You.

The fact that no one cared about the truth nor even asked is only further proof that you all bullied and mobbed out of pure spite, ignorance, and stupidity.

 Furthermore, the same three afflictions are why a few teachers, who followed your lead, also bullied me to the point of considering a lawsuit.

A few even escalated the vitriol because they saw me as a threat.

Those few so-called teachers were afraid that I would file citing discrimination based on a perceived disability. Why? Because they found out about the daily journals, I kept each school day, documenting everything!

And I’ll never forget their reactions (and those of some of you) each time you all saw me writing. Therefore, it’s hilarious when I look back now because some of you seemed pretty desperate and afraid!

And the few spineless, undeserving losers that I was a fool to call friends? (Scoff) They didn’t have the stones to have my back, which means that I didn’t have any friends at OHS. So, should it matter to any of you if I speak up or stay silent?

You’re entitled to your opinion but not my respect, you never earned that.

I can be honest about it now because none of you are anyone I need to impress. Moreover, I surely don’t owe any of you anything- not even respect because you did nothing to earn it from me. So, you get none here.

And the few rotten apples who called themselves teachers? I now realize they only fell for your lies and smear campaigns out of sheer stupidity.

Those teachers, who were supposed to be adults, only allowed themselves to regress into children by joining you in your evil and spiteful attacks. Therefore, they weren’t smart at all, they were only educated idiots.

Open Letter to Bullies:

Dropping names isn’t my style.

Far be it from me to put anyone’s names out there because I won’t go that low. It’s not my style. However, I already suspect you know which teachers I’m referring to. Moreover, you know who you are. So, I’ll leave it there.

With you, the excuse was always, “I’m afraid of her!” or “She’s cr4zy!” However, the reality was that I was much more afraid of you than you ever were of me. But deep down, most of you were already aware of it.

Oh yeah. I know and you do too. I knew it back then; only I was too afraid to voice it because I knew what most of you would do if I opened my mouth. Oh, yes. You got that one for free. I was afraid of you all back then.

But the difference between then and now is that I’m not anymore. Now that I’m a grown woman, I’m not afraid of any of you. I don’t have to see any of you. You can’t touch me now. And you’re exactly where you belong- out of my life.

The Beauty of Age

It’s funny how age tends to embolden you and fill you with confidence. Moreover, you get less afraid as you grow older.

Therefore, I can say pretty much anything I want. And I say it loud and proud. Even better, I make speaking out about people like you my livelihood, my bread and butter, and my niche!

Therefore, in bullying me, you were only paving my path for me. In trying to instill fear, you only encouraged me. In trying to keep me down, you only uplifted me! And in turning others against me back then, you ultimately made me truer friends now than I ever could’ve imagined back then.

Now, you must ask yourselves what good all that meanness did in the long run. Also, ask yourselves where it got you. Because it certainly didn’t help any of you reach the top!

It didn’t get you fame or fortune because none of you ever went anywhere.

Open Letter to bullies:

Through Your resentment, you only expose your guilt.

And now, thanks to the book, more and more people know the truth. They know what really happened- more people than you ever thought would find out back when we were in school.

Even though I wasn’t out for revenge when I wrote the book, and therefore, had the common decency to conceal your real names and omit certain events that would’ve called you out for the devils you are, I consciously chose not to identify your sorry selves.

So, go ahead, show some chutzpah. Get offended, get angry, talk smack, I don’t care.

‘You see? The thing you don’t realize is that by getting your noses out of joint about the book, you unwittingly called yourselves out! By opening your mouths, you exposed yourselves as I already knew you would! So, who’s the “retard” now?

Again, I concealed your real names, which is more than what you deserved. Nevertheless, you get your emotions so stirred up you end up telling off on yourselves! So, I ask again. Who are the foolish ones?

‘You see? Here’s the thing. If someone had written a book about me and exposed me and all my dirt, but changed the name? I would’ve been smart enough to zip my lips and not to let on that the book was about me!

Moreover, I would’ve put on a poker face because I wouldn’t want anyone to know that I was one of the idiots who acted so immature back in the day. Only a fool would have let on that they were one of the brutes that mistreated a person so horribly. Especially if that person was powerless to defend herself!

Open Letter to Bullies:

Bullies no longer get the glory they once did.

And here another newsflash. Today, bullies don’t get the glory they got back in the ‘1980s. People look down on bullies nowadays! Why? Because they see them for the scared little cowards they truly are.

And let me address the immature, psychop4thic adults who’ve sent me threatening and nasty messages off and on for the first three years after the book was launched.

Heads up, folks!  I’ve both screenshotted and saved them all “just in case.” And I’ve already exposed one woman. Don’t be the next person I plaster all over the internet. Because I will, in essence, parade you naked before the eyes of the entire free world.

Lastly, if anything happens to me, anything at all, that book will be seen as a possible motive. Many, many people will come around, asking questions. And who do you think they’ll come to?

Who do you think those people will want answers from? Are you willing to take that risk?

The entire class will be under a microscope, and everyone will know what the possibilities are. But that’s all it takes. Isn’t it? And you’d know that better than anyone, wouldn’t you?

All it takes is one accusation. One offhand comment. One motive. The slightest suspicion. That’s it.

In closing, I want to thank you for making me the woman I am today.

This post was an open letter to bullies so that you can discover what most victims of bullying think. Also, you can have the courage to write your own if people bully you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies 

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

6. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It