How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

June 14, 2024June 18, 20259 Comments

‘Want to know how to stop caring what people think so that you can experience the kind of freedom you were meant to have?

Caring what other people think makes for a life of mental slavery and control. It makes you a victim. Wouldn’t you rather have the delicious freedom to just do and be what you want? As someone who was once caught in that approval-seeking trap and finally broke free, I’m giving you the steps on how to stop caring what people think.

You are going to learn the exact mindsets to adopt to get to a place where you no longer care what others think.

After you learn these mindsets, you will free yourself from the chains of other’s opinions. Also, you will have the courage to be yourself and do what’s best for you no matter what others may say about it.

This post is all about how to stop caring what people think so that you can finally put your needs first and live a freer and happier life.

how to stop caring what people think

Before we get into the steps, let’s talk about the harsh realities of placing too much value on other people’s thoughts and opinions of you.

When you care too much about what others think, you become a slave to not only opinions but to others as well. In other words, the person whose opinions you place too much value on owns you.

Moreover, you’ll bend over backward to prove your worth. You’ll be a yes-person because you won’t have the guts to say no when you really should and when you truly want to say it.

Here’s what else. You’ll do things you’d rather not do and agree with things that go against your beliefs and convictions. You’ll sacrifice your time, your resources, and yourself for people who don’t deserve it and let them take you for granted.

Even worse, you’ll fall for other people’s BS and accept crappy behavior from them to avoid conflict. And they’ll see you as a pushover and an approval-seeker. You’ll be a doormat, and no one will have any respect for you. They’ll only think you’re pathetic!

To put it bluntly, you’ll kiss butt and eat shit all for the sake of approval. Yuck!

You’ll only attract users, abusers, and losers, who’ll only deplete you of time, energy, and worst of all, self-esteem!

But You Don’t Have to live this way. You can make a change. So, how do you stop caring what people think?

1. Focus on your own needs.

In other words, put yourself first and foremost for a while.

This isn’t to say that putting others first is a bad thing. It isn’t. It shows that you care about your fellow man and that you’re willing to contribute some good to the world. It’s an outstanding character trait to have.

However, when you overdo that courtesy or do it at your own expense, that’s when it becomes a bad thing. Why? Because you unknowingly set yourself up to tolerate abuse.

Therefore, you must make time to take care of your own needs too. If you’re too busy taking care of others and leave no time for you, you’ll have nothing left for yourself.

Remember that self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential!

2. Know that the weight of another person’s opinion depends on relationship.

In other words, you place the most value on the opinions of the people you love and who love you the most.

For instance, the words and opinions of your loving mother or father would carry more weight than the same words from a smart-alicky classmate or coworker.

The people that mean the most can be your parents, grandparents, siblings, spouse, or children, best friend, or a trusted mentor. Their words should always carry the most weight because these are the people who love you the most. They also want what’s best for you and cheer for your success.

However, the words and opinions of your bullies or anyone who abuses you, carry no weight whatsoever. Or, at least, they shouldn’t.

Therefore, place value on those of the people you love and trust the most because they will be honest with you.

3. Surround yourself with positive and uplifting people.

In other words, be choosy when selecting people to be friends with. There’s nothing wrong with being picky and it doesn’t mean you’re “excluding” anyone. Realize that same people, we just don’t mesh with and there will be those who are out to hurt us.

Understand that the company you keep has a huge influence on your self-esteem. Therefore, for the sake of your own mental health, choose people who are positive.

Spend time with people who lift you up and avoid those who tear you down. People who consistently put you down have no place in your life. You’re better off without them.

4. how to stop caring what people think of you:

Love thyself.

In other words, love yourself even when it seems as if the rest of the world hates you.

This means knowing your worth and the value you bring to this world. Treat yourself just as you would your best friend. Put simpler, be your own best friend. Treat yourself with compassion.

Also, loving yourself means knowing yourself. When you know yourself inside and out, you are better able to define yourself instead of letting others, particularly bullies and abusers, do it for you.

Moreover, when you learn to accept only your definition of who you are, you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you’re able to identify abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it.

In other words, when you know who you are, you also know what you want and what you will and will not tolerate, which is why knowing who you are is of the utmost importance.

Furthermore, knowing yourself means knowing your feelings, senses, and instincts and trusting them to guide you through this messing thing called life. Tuning in to your feelings and instincts means trusting your gut.

Your mind can deceive you and your heart can get you into trouble. But your gut can guide you out of dangerous situations and environments if you allow it to.

Again, loving yourself means knowing yourself. If you love yourself and know who you are, bullies can name-call and ridicule you until doomsday and it will be least likely to phase you.

6. Stop seeking approval.

Self-acceptance never comes from the outside, it always comes from within. Therefore, get rid of the craving to be liked and be okay with being disliked by some.

Realize that to be hurt, angered, and offended by someone, you must first value their opinions. In other words, for someone to make you feel bad, you must value them to some degree.

When you stop caring what people think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them power.

Understand that their approval isn’t needed and just be. I promise you that you will feel so much better, not to mention, freer!

Therefore, be yourself. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Have your own preferences and make your own choices.

Also, do the things you love to do. And lastly, follow your own goals and dreams. Do all of these things no matter who does or doesn’t like it.

7. Spend time alone.

There’s nothing wrong with being alone. Moreover, just because you’re alone doesn’t mean that you’re lonely. Alone and lonely have different meanings.

Spending time alone is healthy because it gives you time to unwind.

Also, alone time is beneficial because it allows you to focus on a project without disruption and makes concentration so much easier. So, you can be alone without necessarily being lonely. And everyone needs a little bit of “me-time” every day!

Being alone is being at home by yourself and enjoying a good book.

8. believe in yourself.

This means believing in yourself even when it seems that no one else believes in you. That’s a hard thing to do but so important.

How you can do this is to think about all the successes you’ve won and the accomplishments you’ve made. Think of all your wins, even the tiny ones.

Also, think of all the happier times you’ve experienced. Try to remember all the positives and I promise, you’ll feel so good about yourself.

Moreover, think of all the people who love you and who want best for you. Reflect on all these things and your self-belief will skyrocket! Finally, you’ll care less what others think of you.

9. be yourself.

This means continuing to be yourself even when those around you are trying to change you. Realize that if we all were the same, this life would be boring.

Therefore, be an original. Originals have way more value than cheap knock-off copies. This is how you stop caring about other’s opinions of you.

this post was all about how to stop caring what people think to help you raise your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

June 4, 2024June 30, 20256 Comments

Would you like to know if you fall into the category of easy targets for bullies so that you can better protect yourself?

There are six groups of people who make easy targets for bullies, and bullies, who are cowards of the lowest of scum, take full advantage.

These groups of people suffer the highest rates of bullying. They are the most persecuted. This is why it is so important that we, as decent human beings, look out for them and protect them.

You will learn all about who are on the list of easy targets for bullies.

Once you learn this information, you will better be able to be a champion for these people and they will have people like you to protect them when they cannot protect themselves.

This post is all about the seven groups that are easy targets for bullies and how you can be a voice for people in these persecuted groups.

easy targets for bullies

There are many groups of people people make objects of bullying. People who are just different. It doesn’t matter what that difference is. It’s human nature to want sameness. However, sameness gets boring fast.

For example, most people love pizza. It doesn’t mean they want to eat it every day of their lives.

So, which groups of people are the most likely targets of bullies? Here are your answers:

1. people who look different

They could be fat, thin, short, or extremely tall. It could be that they have an unusually large nose or ears. Maybe they have freckles or none at all.

Moreover, people with eyeglasses or braces may suffer bullying as well. However, someone with a cast on one of their legs may also endure it as would someone in a wheelchair.

The point is that bullies will pick out something visibly different about the person, then run with it. This only evidences the ignorance that bullies have.

However, bullies don’t target all heavier or skinny people. Bullies only like to pick out a victim, then make life hard on them. It’s just want bullies do.

Therefore, the best thing to do is to see these bullies for what they truly are, ignorant morons with nothing better to do than to make other’s lives miserable. But, why do they do this?

They do it because of boredom or they live pretty miserable lives themselves. The only way bullies can feel better about themselves is to make others feel bad. They are pathetic souls we should pity.

2. Easy targets for Bullies:

People with Functional needs and those with disabilities

But why? Because, sadly, these particular targets are the most vulnerable and least valued in most schools, companies, organizations, and communities.

Furthermore, they are virtually defenseless. The heartbreaking truth is that nine times out of ten, the rest of society and even members of authority do not see these innocent individuals as human beings.

Not only kids in school, but adult bullies in the workplace will also target employees with disabilities.

Should it be any wonder bullies prey on sped students and disabled adults the most? It’s because bullies are great big cowards and all too often, those with disabilities are unwilling or unable to defend themselves properly.

Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from and bullies can exploit this at will.

For example, I cannot count the times during school, that I saw a bully go up to a sped student. They would snatch something away from them to get a little free entertainment.

Then, as soon as the child started crying or screaming, the bully said, “Oops! Oh, I’m sorry. Here ya go!” and give the item back as soon as they got the desired reaction out of the poor kid.

In the workplace, I’ve seen many adult bullies harass and attack fellow employees who were disabled. Those were the employees I stuck up for. Many times, I’d make myself a target at work just by speaking up for a disabled employee.

Even worse, I’ve also heard gut-wrenching stories of other teachers in schools bullying those in the special ed program. Again, these were teachers. Teachers!

**Even teachers aren’t above bullying sped students.**

I also witnessed it firsthand during high school when a sped girl in the lunch line just a few heads in front of me was laughed at and mocked by a group of cliquey teachers. Mind you. These women were supposed to be adults!

These cruel educators would look down their noses at this child and openly ridicule her, making her the butt of their jokes.

Moreover, I also heard the mean-spirited comments. The teachers remarked about how this poor girl would never find a job nor contribute anything to society. They concluded that she would only be a drain on the taxpayers’ money once she got out of school.

I have to tell you. Just listening to those remarks made me sick to my stomach! How I wish I’d had the guts to stand up for her when it happened!

However, I was only seventeen and a student myself at the time. I knew to keep my mouth shut because- well, these bullies were teachers.

I was also thankful that those cackling old shrews weren’t spewing any of their venomous wisecracks on me. Pure prejudice and discrimination were what this was!

Every school has those types of teachers and staff and they are usually the ones who not only mistreat the lunch ladies, custodians, and teachers who aren’t members of their little circle, they also mistreat sped students and sped teachers. And it’s a crying shame!

3. imaginative and creative people

This group is easy targets for bullies due to their vivid imaginations and creativity, which, by the way, isn’t a bad thing. It’s actually a very good thing.

However, bullies hate imagination because they don’t have one and are jealous of anyone who does. Therefore, if you are creative and have an exceptional imagination, be prepared for bullies to attack your dreams and ambitions.

Just know that they do it out of jealousy. This should definitely make you feel better about yourself and encourage you to follow your dreams no matter what they tell you.

4. easy targets for bullies: people who are emotional

Understand that bullies are on the hunt for your reaction when they attack you, and, it’s the reason they do it. If bullies can get an emotional reaction from you, it only fuels their ego.

Therefore, you must keep your emotions in check and never give them the satisfaction.

You must realize that bullies bully you to get control of you. Moreover, when bullies can control a person, it gives them a huge rush of power and don’t think they will ever give that up.

This is why you must see your bullies exactly for what they are. And, what they are is a bunch of pathetic, cowardly, punks. Think about it, most people get their feel good from their talents or their hobbies. Some get it from togetherness with family and close friends.

These are the things that give most people meaning in their lives.

Bullies don’t have talents or hobbies. Moreover, they probably have dysfunctional families and friends who really don’t add much to their lives.

In fact, bullies have no redeemable qualities whatsoever. Therefore, their lives don’t have meaning. So, what’s left?

Attacking others and making them miserable is the only thing bullies have left. Therefore, in order to feel good about themselves, they must make someone else feel bad.

That alone should give your self-esteem a huge boost. So, don’t feel bad when bullies come for you and don’t get emotional. Realize that your bullies probably don’t have much going for them and this is their last-ditch effort to find one crumb of meaning to their miserable lives.

Then, be thankful that you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such measures. You’re a winner and you should know it.

5. People who are loners

Bullies love to target loners. Why? Because these are people who don’t have many friends. Moreover, no friends equals lack of support, which makes bullies even more emboldened to bully the person.

Remember that bullies are great big cowards. They will never bully those with numerous friends because they know that there will be people who will stand up for them. Therefore, loners are one of the easiest targets.

Also, most bullies run in packs. They always have an entourage of followers behind them to back them up. You see? Bullies never bully alone. They always do it in groups just in case the victim happens to be someone who isn’t afraid to fight back.

Bullies can do nothing on their own. Again, this fact should make you feel better about yourself because you aren’t afraid to stand alone. You can take care of yourself and that’s a great quality to have.

6. people who have low self-esteem

Bullies know that if someone has low self-esteem, they don’t like themselves very much. Therefore, they are least likely to stand up for themselves when attacked.

If you are one of these people, you must find ways to boost your self-esteem and see the value you bring to this world. Once you see your worth, you will no longer put up with those who make you feel bad and you won’t be afraid to either ditch them or defend yourself.

In closing

Bullies bully these categories of people because they’re different. And when you’re different, bullies like to dehumanize you for it. But you don’t have to put up with it. Refuse to allow them to abuse you by standing up to them and letting them know that you won’t tolerate it.

If you do this in the early stages of bullying, they’ll more likely leave you alone.

this post was all about categories of people who are easy targets for bullies to help you know what to fix in yourself and what to be proud of. It also helps you to know which people you should be helping.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Ways to Know the Difference

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers

3. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

May 28, 2024May 28, 202434 Comments

Do you want the ability to distinguish like vs respect? Or the opposite, dislike vs disrespect? Here we will discuss the difference between the two.

Many people have the impression that like and respect are the same, when, in fact, they’re quite different.Here, I will differentiate like vs respect and give details as to how they differ.

You will learn to distinguish between the two by noticing the diverse characteristics of each.

After learning to separate both terms, you will be able to know the difference when you see it on the street. Also, your social life will benefit greatly.

This post is all about the details and characteristics of like vs respect that you must know to better work with people.

like vs respect

What’s the difference between them?

Before we go further, let’s put it this way:

There can be respect without like. However, there can never be like without respect. Put more straightforward, a person doesn’t have to like you to respect you, but they do have to respect you to like you.

Difference 1.

Like:

Like is based on commonalities, and good feelings shared between people. Therefore, when you like someone, you enjoy their company and the positivity they bring to your life.

Whereas, to not like somebody means you have nothing in common or just don’t want to be around the person. That’s perfectly okay because not everybody is alike and shares the same beliefs, feelings, ideas, or backgrounds. Like is subjective and it’s just a normal part of human existence.

Therefore, you can dislike someone but respect their right not to have their boundaries crossed.

Respect:

Respect is regard for another person’s safety, space, freedom, privacy, property, and individuality. When you respect someone, you may not necessarily like the person, but you see them as having the same rights and considerations as you and everyone else.

In contrast, to disrespect someone means that you have no regard for their safety, space, freedom, privacy, property, or individuality.

Hence, like vs disrespect.

like vs respect:

What are the Specific Signs of Dislike?

1. Nothing in common with the person. You wish them well, but you’d prefer not to go on long trips with them. You have no problem coexisting.

2. You see them as having the same human rights and you and anyone else, and you won’t bully them nor place them in danger. You only don’t have anything in common with the person.

3. Dislike isn’t always personal. It only means that you just don’t mesh well.

Again, this is just a normal part of life. Everybody has people who don’t like them…everybody! Why? Because everyone is different and we all run in different circles.

It’s just a part of life.

Most get confused between like vs disrespect.

Too many people mistake dislike for disrespect, even hate. There are people even I dislike, but I don’t hate them. I just let them be and go on doing my thing.

it’s dislike. that’s all it is.

This is why you should never worry about who likes or doesn’t like you. It’s a waste of your time. Why? Because, when you do, you give away your power by allowing others’ opinions to control you.

So, do you want to be a slave to mere opinions?

The key to your happiness is not to concern yourself with what others think of you. This is not only happiness, it’s freedom, the best kind there is! Therefore, see your worth, and let those people go live their lives while you go live yours. As long as they aren’t bothering you, be okay with their dislike.

Do not go out of your way to make people like you. Don’t put on any fronts, and don’t try to be someone you aren’t.

In short, DON’T CHANGE!

Instead, be yourself and do your thing. Do the things that make you happy. Keep this up and you will naturally attract the friends who were meant to be in your life.

like vs respect:

What are the Detailed Signs of Disrespect?

1. Lack of regard for the person’s freedom- this could include belittling their opinions and ideas, taking away their freedom to speak by talking over them when they are speaking, getting angry with them if they would rather spend time with family than with you or the group.

2. Lack of regard for the person’s safety- you bully them or put them in danger of being physically hurt. You don’t want to coexist.

3. Disrespect is always personal.

Disrespect is a whole different animal from dislike. If you have disrespect for a specific individual. You don’t see them as having the same human rights and considerations as you and everyone else.

Therefore, you don’t acknowledge that person’s boundaries, and you are more likely to trample their dignity and human rights.

Put simpler, you think the person somehow deserves to be violated. Therefore, you deem it okay to abuse them as much as you want and with impunity.

Disrespect almost always boils over into verbal and emotional abuse, and even physical violence.

beware of disrespect.

If you are ever around anyone who disrespects you, it pays to watch them closely (without looking like you’re watching them, of course). Also, watch your back around them.

do one of two things. Either call them out or distance yourself. Understand that people who disrespect you are usually out to harm you in some way.

However, at the same time, you should never care about their opinions of you either. Never allow them to define you. It’s your place to define yourself, not theirs.

Instead, ask yourself these questions:

“Have any of these morons even reached my level?”

“Do their opinions even matter?”

“Who are these people that I should care?”

Understand that the weight you give to any opinion should depend on who they are and the relationship you have with them. Know that not everyone’s thoughts or opinions are relevant nor do their words mean anything.

like vs respect: Also, consider this:

In order to be offended by another person’s opinions, or words, you must first value them, which means, you must first value the owner of those opinions, and words.

In other words, the value you give their opinions depends on who they are and how close you are to them.

And hold that belief along with the understanding that their hatred only comes from a place of ignorance, stupidity, bitterness, jealousy, or insecurity. Nothing more.

Take it with a grain of salt and only value the opinions of those who know you- God and those of your closest family members and friends.

When you stop caring what bullies think of you, you stop valuing their opinions. In that, you stop giving bullies value and consideration they haven’t earned. Therefore, you stop giving them your power.

like vs disrespect: how to respond to lack of the former

If you are a victim of bullying, you must distinguish between the two and act appropriately. Disrespect is much worse than dislike. Dislike is a part of life and much easier to deal with. Disrespect, on the other hand, is harmful.

The people who dislike you won’t necessarily try to hurt you but act neutral around you. They might even say a few words to you to be polite. They just won’t be buddy-buddy with you.

On the other hand, people who disrespect you will violate you. They will shame you, humiliate you, try to sabotage you, and physically assault you.

If the people around you dislike you, it’s their loss, and you can still be around them if you must.

However, if they disrespect you, then it’s time to either stand up to them, walk away from them or send them packing. People who regard you with disrespect don’t deserve a place in your life!

Therefore, do what you need to do to protect yourself from being harmed by them. And if the person who disrespects you happens to be in your circle, be prepared to cut ties with them.

It takes courage to walk away from a toxic family member or friend but sometimes, self-care requires you to do so.

Besides, there’s a positive side to your bullies’ disrespect if you look for it.

You could see them as motivation to work on yourself. In other words, you can use it as fuel to pursue your goals and dreams. Your bullies’ disrespect can be a vehicle to success if you want it to.

Conclusion:

If you had to choose, wouldn’t you much rather be respected than to be liked? And, wouldn’t you prefer to be disliked rather than disrespected? With dislike, there’s still a degree of safety. With disrespect, there is no safety because to be disrespected means that people either presently or eventually will violate your boundaries.

Think of it this way. In the Marine Corps, privates may not like a certain drill sergeant because he’s a complete jerk. But they respect him and with respect comes protection and safety.

This post was all about the detailed differences of like vs respect to help you to recognize each when it happens and respond accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

May 21, 2024May 20, 202413 Comments

Want to know the best phrases to shut down a gaslighter? The phrases that you’re about to read are the most powerful statements you need to make the next time a bully tries to gaslight you.

When people gaslight you, it can leave you confused and feeling unnecessary guilt. If you’re like I was, you probably wish you knew powerful phrases to shut down gaslighting. As one who’s had multiple bullies, I’m giving you the most powerful statements you can use to shut your bullies down for good.

You will learn about the top, most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter.

After learning about all these cool comebacks, you are going to be a pro and on the ready the next time your bullies even attempt to gaslight you.

This post is all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter. This is information that every person with integrity should know.

9 most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter

Before we get to the phrases, here’s a quick question. Have you ever had a situation when a bully was gaslighting you and you were stuck without a good comeback? I have and it was pretty humiliating.

Gaslighting can make it’s victims feeling not only confused and bewildered, but also embarrassed. It’s extremely difficult to pull out a good comeback, on the fly, when you’re in the middle of a gaslighting session.

However, one thing you should never, ever say to a gaslighter is this:

“I’m sorry.”

“You were right, it’s my fault.”

To bullies, apologies are not only submissions, but admissions of guilt. Moreover, telling the bully that they were right and admitting fault is surrendering to them. This is just how bullies think.

Although, it may tempting to go ahead and accept blame just to avoid further conflict or to keep the peace, I implore you. DON’T! Not under any circumstances!

Never take responsibility for a bully’s behavior, or anyone else’s for that matter. You are only responsible for your own words and actions, no one else’s.

The reason you should never capitulate like this is because the bullies will only take it and run with it. In other words, they will only weaponize it against you from here on out. And they will do it for the next several years or decades even.

Here’s what you SHOULD say:

1. “The truth hurts sometimes.”

This phrase is brilliant because it does two things:

It infuriates gaslighters because it reverses the sting back onto the gaslighter by turning the tables on them.

Also, it exposes your bully’s inability to handle the truth.

Your bullies may become angry after hearing this comeback. However, it can only work in your favor because their emotions will only further give them away.

Why? Because bullies don’t get emotional unless they’re so afraid they’re losing control of the conversation that they begin feeling desperate. Always remember that.

2. “I don’t see it that way.”

This is a good comeback because you’re making it clear to the gaslighter that you don’t agree with them.

Keep in mind that gaslighters gaslight because they want you to feel crazy, or like their behavior is your fault. They want you to doubt yourself and think, “well, maybe she’s right. I probably did have it coming.”

No you didn’t. Remember that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s behavior but yours. Your bullies’ behavior is a reflection of their choices, not yours.

3. one-word phrases to shut down a gaslighter:

“Whatever.”

This little one-word response is so potent and powerful. It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any gaslighter.

Why? Because it sends the message that you refuse to engage with them. Also, through that response alone, you communicate to your bullies that they’re a waste of your time. And really, they are!

Therefore, you end up taking the wind right out of the gaslighter’s sail. Why? Because, your bullies are excepting a big reaction from you and when you blow them off with a “whatever,” you stun them.

Any time you calmly use this comeback, you send the message to bullies that they don’t hurt nor intimidate you, they only bore you. Ouch!

It’s very difficult to counter a response of, “Whatever.”

Moreover, another reason this little beauty of a response infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no way to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking dumb.

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own. However, it will only make them look like they’re not very creative. Additionally, the bully will also look childish and stupid.

Therefore, the trick with this little one-worded bomb is to draw first blood. In other words, he who says it first automatically wins the day!

Do it this way and you look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated. Most importantly, you preserve your own sanity by refusing to argue or to agree with their drivel.

So, keep this on your list of comebacks because with it, you can’t go wrong! Just remember to say it calmly and coolly. Then watch your bullies’ reactions as they search and stumble to find a comeback without repeating you and looking utterly ridiculous.

However, whether they comeback with a childish response or not, your “whatever” has already shut down the toxic conversation. So, the only reason they respond is because they know they’re beat. Your bullies are only having to scramble to find a comeback, which is why they usually fail miserably.

This is definitely to your advantage.

4. I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This really ticks off bullies and gaslighters because, just like number 1, it turns the tables on the gaslighter. You send the unpoken message that you refuse to apologize for something you didn’t do or something that isn’t your fault.

Using this sarcastic comeback isn’t an apology. It’s a dig. It shows bullies and gaslighters that you could care less about their feelings. Also, it communicates to them that nothing they have to say to you is worth the effort you must put in to argue.

Again, this is how you respond to a gaslighter. Gaslighters get no respect because they don’t give any.

5. “that’s your opinion, not mine.”

This comeback also turns the tables on gaslighters in that it boomerangs their initial words back to them. Also, it lets them know that you could care less about what they think of you or what they have to say.

Bullies will seethe when you use this gem of a comback. I guarantee it!

6. “You have your reality and I have mine.”

Gaslighters are notorious for trying to undermine your reality and call your perception into question. Anytime you give your bullies this response, you tackle the problem up front.

Moreover, they get the message that you’re not one to be swayed from your perception, which will shut them down completely. In other words, they’ll know instantly that you’re immune to any manipulative mind games they try to play.

And this is what you want so they’ll leave you alone and go find some other sucker to jerk around

7. Phrases to shut down a gaslighter can also be questions.

“How?” or “Like WhO (what, when, where)?”

What you are doing here is asking for details. You’re responding to the gaslighter with questions and they will absolutely hate that. Gaslighters always avoid details because when you ask questions, you change the focus from opinions and emotions to hard facts.

In essence, you force them to come up with hard evidence to back up their argument. Most gaslighting bullies can’t do that simply because they only speak from emotions rather than facts.

Ask a bully questions referring to context and evidence. Then, laugh as you watch them stutter and stammer, trying to come up with an intelligent-sounding answer.

8. “You’ll get over it.”

This is the perfect response in lieu of a direct apology.

Now, this may seem callous, unfeeling, and cold. However, the “you’ll get over it” response allows you to respond without accepting blame and

Always remember that bullies lack integrity and a conscience. Any of the two shown in the presence of those who don’t have it will be shot down.

Moreover, this comment will more than likely rile your bullies’ emotions up because they’ll get the message that you don’t take them seriously. And you shouldn’t. Therefore, they will expose themselves through their outbursts of anger and indignation.

Respond without taking responsibility for their bad behavior and do it with power!

9. The Softer version of one of the phrases to shut down gaslighters:

“Don’t worry. You’ll be alright.”

This response is the same as number 8 but with a softer touch. Again, this deflects the gaslighting away from you and back to the bully. The “Don’t worry” part highlights the bully’s anger or upset emotional state while buffering you from the bully’s initial attack.

It’s one of the perfect verbal boomerangs that can force bullies to expose themselves because most bullies will explode at this comeback even if it is a softer one. Why? Because they will get the message that you take their frantic gaslighting with a grain of salt.

So, what bully wouldn’t flip out at a response like this? Remember that bullies want you to get emotional. Or, they want you to hang your head low and walk away, feeling like you wronged them somehow.

Don’t do either of these things. Use these responses and pretty soon, no one will bully or gaslight you. These responses worked for me and they can work for you too.

the post was all about the most powerful phrases to shut down a gaslighter to help you stand up to gaslighting and preserve your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut It Down

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

Coercive Control: The Top 5 Signs and How to Escape It

May 14, 2024May 26, 20257 Comments

Do you want to know what coercive control looks like? These are the signs you must watch for if you want to stand against it or make your escape.

Coercive control is harmful as it strips it’s victim of freedom and autonomy. As one who has experienced this in the past, I’m giving you all the signs to look out for. These are characteristics that I and many others have seen firsthand, time and time again.

You will learn the exact indicators so that you can decide early on the best recourse to take your personal power back.

After you learn about all these characteristics of it, you will better be able to take back control of your life and protect yourself from any future coercion.

This post is all about the signs of coercive control that every empathetic person with high integrity should know.

Signs of Coercive control

Before we go further, we must know that coercive control happens in all aspects of life. We most often hear of it running rampant between romantic partners and spouses.

Although true, coercive control also happens in school and on the job as well. Moreover, it is the main ingredient of school and workplace bullying and mobbing.

With that said, the first step in getting out of any controlling situation is to know the signs and what it looks like. Here are the signs.

Coercive control consists of behavior patterns that terrorize, punish, and harm its victims.

1. Ultimatums.

Ultimatums are the number one, most obvious sign of coercive control. They always include threats of some form of loss or harm to the victim. Moreover, they are meant to induce terror in victims and slowly chip away their confidence and self-esteem. Bullies use ultimatums to condition victims that they have no other choice but to obey.

Therefore, the goal of an ultimatum is to force the victim’s hand by threatening to take away something important to them. This could be the loss of a relationship, their home, or their children or family. Also, it could be their jobs or entire careers.

In other words, bullies wield power over their target by threatening the loss or harm to anything or anyone the victim loves or deems important.

Here’s an example. An abusive spouse threatens to take the children if the victim even thinks about leaving them.

Also, we have seem this form of control run rampant in the last five years. An example would be during 2020 and 2021, the height of the you-know-what.

It was, “do this within thirty days or you will no longer have your job.” Or it was, “If you haven’t done that within the next two weeks, we will have the state revoke your business license.”

Ultimatums are so insidious and blatant that there should be no question that they’re hallmarks of coercive control.

If people begin giving you ultimatums, know that they are trying to control you. Whether it’s an abusive partner, toxic boss at work, or bullies at school, you must stand against it.

Therefore, you have two choices, either say no and back it up by refusing their demands, or head for the nearest exit. Either way, you make a choice not to be controlled.

2. Physical Assaults and attacks.

Bodily harm is another one of the most blatant and obvious forms of coercive control. Physical beatings are not only designed to harm the victim, they are also meant to induce intense fear in targets and as a tool for bullies to re-enforce their power and control.

Nobody wants to get brutally beaten. Bullies instinctive know this. Therefore, they use the threat of physical harm to get victims to obey their orders.

Therefore, if physical bullies ever attack you, it’s best to defend yourself. You have every right to do so.

If you can’t defend yourself because of size, lack of strength, or physical ailment, get the police involved. At least have them make out a report.

The law may or may not do anything for you. However, if they make a report and you get a copy of that report, you have a paper trail. Also, you have established a history of abuse on the part of your bullies.

Moreover, you should also document each occurrence of physical abuse, even if it happens only once. Remember that documentation of bullying and abuse is admissible in court because it’s sufficient evidence.

You have a God-given right to be free from harm. Don’t hesitate to assert that right!

3. the signs of Coercive control also include Isolating the victim.

When controlling abusers isolate their victims, they do it deliberately to cut them off from any support they may otherwise receive from others.

For instance, abusive spouses and partners will stop their partners from having anything to do with their family and friends. They will talk trash about the other people that love the partner. Also, they will lay guilt trips on their victim for spending time with family and friends.

They will also claim that the other family members and close friends don’t really love the partner and plant seeds of doubt in their minds about them.

Moreover, bullies at school and in the workplace will use smear campaigns to turn the victims friends against them. They will also do everything they can to prevent the victim from making any new friends.

Even worse, they will go as far as to try to turn the victim’s family members against them too, if they can.

Again, they do this on purpose because their goal is to isolate the victim from support networks. This way, they can better keep their victim under their control.

This is why you must stand firmly against this kind of abuse if it happens to you. And if you can’t stand against it, document everything then leave the environment. Leave the company or the town if you must. But, get away fast!

Next, consult an attorney if you can afford it. Lastly, file suit against them if you have sufficient evidence to do so.

4. They watch you closely.

Bullies and abusers will watch you like a hawk! Abusive partners, school bullies and workplace harassers will stalk you online, going through your social media profiles.

They do this to see if they can find dirt on you to spread around.

Abusive partners will scroll through your phone to see if you are cheating or talking to potential mates. They will also text you to check up on you. They will ask where you are, who you’re with, and when you’re coming home.

Also, they will drive by your house to see who’s car is in your driveway, trying to find out if you have visitors. Moreover, they will also try to find out who those visitors are.

School and workplace bullies will also watch your house to find out the same things. These kinds of people have even been known to go through the victim’s trash. And they do this AFTER they follow them home.

And they usually do this while your garbage can is sitting on the edge of the street waiting for the next day’s garbage pick-up.

If possible, set up a home security system and dash-cam for your vehicle. Record these nosy nut-bags. Remember, stalking and invasion of privacy is illegal and you can press charges. You can also sue the pants off them.

However, you must first gather your evidence and enough of it.

5. coercive control can also come in the form of cutting off any financial support the victim may receive.

This form of coercive control happens mostly in relationships between romantic partners and spouses. And when it does, the abuser often prevents the victim from going to work or getting a job.

Bullying partners do this deliberately to keep the victim dependent solely on them for financial support. Thus, making it more difficult to walk out on them and compelling the victim to stay in the abusive relationship.

Moreover, abusive partners may withhold money from the victim to punish them for a perceived slight. In this, they cause the partner to go without food, shelter, or clothing as a punishment. This keeps the victim in line and gives the abuser continued control.

financial control doesn’t only happen in romantic and spousal relationships.

Although this happens mostly in relationships, school and workplace bullies can also exert this kind of control. For instance, school bullies will take the victim’s lunch money. They also may coerce the victim to hand over the money they brought for school pictures and yearbooks. Realize that this is also a form of financial control.

Workplace bullies may cause the company to demote the target, which usually comes with a huge pay cut. They may also deliberately get the victim terminated.

Also, as if that isn’t enough, workplace bullies will also attempt to blackball the target and prevent them for gaining employment anywhere else. Thus, they prevent their target from supporting themselves or feeding their families.

Understand that this is also financial control because it cuts the target and his/her family from any financial support. I know a few people that have endured this and it took a long battle before they were able to overcome it and finally regain financial stability.

In conclusion, it is better to leave the relationship, however difficult it may be, before it gets this bad. Also document, I can’t repeat this enough! Documenting is crucial!

Also, you must document every instance of bullying in the workplace as well. Then, leave the toxic workplace before your bullies have a chance to get you fired. You’ll know the signs early on if you pay attention.

This post was all about the top signs of coercive control to help you to know when it’s time to plan your escape and get out from under it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

How to Respond to Darvo: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

May 7, 2024May 6, 20243 Comments

Would you like to know how to respond to darvo that bullies use to discredit you when you report their bullying or speak out against it? Here are the most powerful ways you must know.

The DARVO method that bullies use is tricky. Many victims of bullying are at a loss as to how to respond to it. As one who has had this method used on me, I am giving you the most powerful ways to respond.

You will learn about how to respond to DARVO properly and the the best responses that will shut this method down for good.

After learning these points, you will be extra prepared the next time a bully uses this evil technique against you.

This post is all about how to respond to DARVO tactics that bullies use. This is important information every victim of bullying, even narcissistic bullying, should know.

How to respond to darvo:

1. learn what darvo is and how bullies use it.

The first step in learning how to properly defend yourself against any bullying tactics is to learn exactly what each of those tactics is.

What is DARVO?

DARVO is an acronym which stands for Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender.

Realize that this is a classic reaction bullies make any time the victim calls out their bad behavior.

If you are a victim of such tactics, it is imperative that you educate yourself on them.

Additionally, you need not only memorize the definition and textbook description of it. You must also know what DARVO looks like as it is happening.

For instance, a narcissistic bully may attack you and you may call them out on their rotten behavior. The bully reacts by telling you, “it’s no big deal.” Or, he may say something to the tune of, “you’re making something out of nothing.”

Understand that these are classic DARVO comebacks because they invalidate reality and make you out to have over-reacted. Don’t fall for it. You know what they did and that it was wrong. Therefore, continue to stand strong and stick to your guns.

the bully will project.

Moreover, the bully will become extremely aggressive and attacks your character and credibility. They may even attack your motives and intentions.

The bully may also dissolve into a puddle of tears or begin yelling in anger while attacking you. Bullies are expert at turning on emotions to achieve a desired result, which is to make it look like you instigated their abuse. In other words, they make it look as if they were only reacting to what you did to them.

Also, the bully may use insults, threats, and gaslighting to discredit your description of their abuse. Moreover, they will swear up and down that they’re being unfairly accused and that you are making false accusations against them to cover your bad behavior.

Put simpler, they will accuse you of doing to them the very same things they, in fact, did to you. This is classic projection and you should call it out as such.

As another attempt to deflect, bullies will also try to justify their evil behavior by shifting blame to you.

Understand that bullies do all this to reverse the roles and in hopes that others will see them in a more positive light. Bullies hope that others will see their abuse of you as a reaction to something you must have done to them first. All the while, they are continuing to inflict more abuse onto you.

2. whatever you do, stay calm.

This is an absolute must because your bully is hoping and praying that you will lose your cool. But don’t!

Why? Because bullies will use your emotions as confirmation that you are either cuckoo or a bad person. And, believe you me, they’re masters at this!

Also, they will misconstrue your emotions (crying, etc.) as a sign of guilt. Instead, remain calm and the bully is more likely to be the one flipping out because they can’t shake you.

I have found that by remaining calm and cool, you will drive them completely insane with anger. Therefore, you force your bullies to expose themselves.

Remember the quote in Sun Tzu’s “The Art of War.”

“Let the enemy destroy themselves.”

Again, your calm demeanor will arouse not only the bully’s anger, but also their fear. Your bully will be flabbergasted as to why you’re so calm. This will throw them off balance.

Moreover, they’ll flip out and begin yelling, shouting, and cursing. Don’t let this behavior intimidate you because his is what you want them to do to expose and embarrass themselves.

Remember that bullies have big egos and an image to protect. Also, they have an intense need for control. And they will do everything they possibly can to preserve their egos and maintain not only control, but also the image they have long ago crafted for themselves.

Although staying calm can be difficult when bullies abuse you, it can also be most effective in getting your bullies riled and bringing their true natures out in the open. The calmer you are, the crazier your bullies will get until they unwittingly expose themselves through their own behavior.

3. How to Respond to DARVO: Call the behavior out by name.

This is why you must first know what DARVO is, as well as the names of all the behavior that goes with it. This way, you can call it out by name and won’t sound as though you’re rambling.

Rambling makes you sound crazy and less believable. But naming the behavior and stating your case in a clear and concise manner makes you look more credible and makes the bully look unhinged. This is what you want.

For example, if the bully is projecting and accusing you of the very behavior they directed at you, Call it by name. Tell the bully in front of an audience that they’re clearly projecting to try and make themselves look like the good guy and that you are onto them.

If they are trying to justify their behavior, again, call it out. Say to the bully, “Don’t try to justify your behavior because there is no justification for it. Be an adult (or if it’s a child, you can say, ‘be a big girl/boy’) and take responsibility for your actions.”

4. Document, document, document!

This cannot be stressed enough! You absolutely must document everything in detail. Keeping a bullying journal is of the utmost importance, not only if you have a bullying partner at home but also if people bully and harass you at work or school.

Keeping documentation helps you to keep a record of bullying in a more clear, concise, and organized manner. Moreover, it is admissible in court and during tribunal at work or school board meetings.

When you document, always use the 5W Method (What? Who? When? Where? and Why? Also, if possible, How?) This allows your story to make more sense. Also, it effectively calls out any perpetrators and produces possible witnesses.

In other words, write down what happened, who was involved, who was around to see what happened (the names of any bystanders and witnesses). Also, write down when it happened (the exact date and time of occurrence).

Additionally, include where it happened (did it happen in the school locker room? The workplace parking lot?) and if you know, why it happened (was it because you reported your bullies’ abuse of you?) Be as detailed as humanly possible when you document!

How to Respond to Darvo: do your own investigation!

This is how you gather your own evidence. How to respond to DARVO doesn’t include waiting for anyone else to do anything you can just as easily do for yourself.

Never rely on the school or your workplace to conduct their own investigation. This is where many victims get screwed because when entities do their own investigations (if they do them at all) it will only be to their advantage and your detriment.

The reality is that schools, workplaces, or any entities for that matter, usually side with bullies. Why? Because not only are bullies expert at covering their behinds, but also, they are usually stars in the who’s who at school or higher-up in the workplace or organization.

Therefore, always do your own investigation. Documenting is the most effective way to gather your own evidence.

Also, depending on the laws in your state or jurisdiction, you could secretly record the bullying you suffer. Again, make sure the laws in your state allow recordings.

In other words, If you live in a two-party consent state, you must also have the permission of anyone you record. However, if you live in a one-party consent state, you only need your own permission. Therefore, you are FREE to record!

Again, make sure you know the laws in your state before you do this. The last thing you want is for your bullies to have grounds to sue you for invasion of privacy. And you just know they would salivate over that opportunity. So, don’t give it to them.

5. practice self-care

In other words, be kind and compassionate to yourself. Make daily affirmations to yourself. Make I AM statements, “I AM a good person,” “I AM not wrong for standing up for myself,” “I AM lovable,” “I AM deserving of friends, family, and people who love me,” ” I AM worthy of God’s love because He loves me anyway, regardless of what I’ve done in the past,” etc.

And when you make these affirmations, believe them with all your heart.

Practicing self-care also means spending time with the people who love you and who want what’s best for you. Keep company only with those who lift you up and avoid people who bring you down. This is how you nurture your self-esteem and mental health.

Indulge in a good soak in the bathtub with bath bombs or treat yourself to a day at the spa.

Self-care is essential when dealing with this form of abuse.

this post was all about how to respond to darvo so that you can better protect yourself against this insidious form of abuse.

Related posts you will enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

April 26, 2024October 3, 202510 Comments

Would you like to know the signs of gaslighting so that you can better protect yourself against it the next time it occurs? Here are the most common indicators and examples you should be aware of.

People can gaslight you without you even knowing it’s happening, which is not only harmful but also confusing. As a former target of it myself, I’m sharing the sure-fire signs of gaslighting that you must know, so you can recognize it and be prepared.

You will learn about the signs of gaslighting and examples of it as well.

After learning about all these tactics and what they look and sound like, you will be better able to defend yourself against them.

This post is all about the most common signs of gaslighting in both your abusers AND yourself, you should be aware of.

The Most Common Signs of gaslighting

1. Bullies deny their behavior.

Denial is one of the most apparent forms of gaslighting.

Often, when a bully or abuser says something to insult you and you call them on it, they will flat out say, “I didn’t say that,” when you know doggone well they did. Understand that this is their way of covering up their behavior by making you look unstable.

Moreover, the bully has the chutzpah to lie and deny, even when you present clear evidence of the truth. That’s what makes this form of gaslighting so astonishing.

The goal of this tactic is to cause the people around you to think that maybe you’re hearing things. Also, bullies do this deliberately to cause you to doubt yourself. The bully wants you to wonder if you heard them correctly.

In other words, their goal is to convince you that what happened didn’t really happen. Therefore, they plant seeds of doubt in your mind to trick you into thinking that it is all in your head.

Furthermore, there’s another thing bullies like to say when you call them on their behavior. “You’re only imagining things.”

Additionally, they might say that the bullying you report “is only in your imagination.”

Again, this is denial, and it’s designed to make you doubt yourself and appear overly suspicious to any bystanders. And if you doubt yourself, it will inspire others to question you as well.

Don’t fall for it. Chances are that you heard them correctly or actually saw what you saw. Counter the gaslighting by telling them, “You did say that,” or “I know you did because I saw you with my own two eyes. Don’t even try to gaslight me, buddy.”

Yes, call out the gaslighting. Then walk away and limit any future engagement with them.

2. Bullies questioning your memory IS ALSO ONE OF THE SIGNS OF GASLIGHTING.

Questioning your memory is another slick tactic bullies use to shirk responsibility for their questionable behavior. Bullies mostly pull this number on older adults. However, anyone, regardless of age, can be a target of this kind of gaslighting.

For example, when you confront an abuser about something they did in the past, the bully may ask you, “Are you sure that’s the way it happened?”

Just as it is with denial, bullies use this method to make you doubt and question yourself. Consequently, it’s so easy it shouldn’t work. But it does.

Again, don’t fall for this trick. Tell them right away and up front that your memory is just fine and that they’re only gaslighting you to cover their own butts. Also, when you tell them, do it with conviction. Then, again, walk away and have no further association with them.

3. They trivialize the way you feel or what you experienced

This is yet another tactic designed to make you look immature or mentally imbalanced.

For instance, you may report a bully for bullying you at school or a perverted boss at work for making a sexually suggestive comment to you. As a result, they may counter your complaint by making statements like:

“You’re just being a crybaby.”

“You’re too sensitive. You need to toughen up a little.”

“Oh, shut up!”

“Aww, stop whining.”

“You need to lighten up.”

Bullies do this to embarrass and shame you into silence while, at the same time, covering themselves by minimizing their own behavior. In other words, they use shame and embarrassment, hoping you’ll shut up and allow them to keep abusing you.

They employ this tactic to cause others to doubt you, too. When others don’t believe you and choose to side with your bullies, it’s even tougher to know when someone is gaslighting you.

Moreover, when others agree with them, you’ll feel even more compelled to keep your mouth shut and go along with it. The reason for this compulsion is fear.

Bullies and abusers hope you’re afraid that if you don’t clam up, you’ll only suffer more abuse as punishment for daring to open your mouth.

However, don’t stay silent. Continue speaking out, doing so calmly yet with a strong voice.

Never apologize for feeling hurt or angry at someone else’s abuse! Never! In these situations, you have a right to feel the way you do! Let no one tell you how you should feel when you know with utmost certainty that you’re being abused!

Just tell them to shove it, walk away, and have nothing more to do with them.

4. Signs of Gaslighting:

you constantly second-guess yourself

The signs of gaslighting don’t only show up in your bullies; they show up in you, too.

Notice that you’re hyper-self-aware, self-conscious, and always on guard. You self-monitor to make sure you do and say the right thing.

Furthermore, you make a judgment call or a choice, then turn right around and begin wondering if you said the right thing or made the right decision. You’re confused all the time.

Should I do this or that? Should I say it like this or like that? Do I make this choice or that?

Gaslighting does this to its victims. Understand that this is no way to live.

You can only solve this problem when you stop worrying about what others think and know that your first instinct is usually the correct one. Also, cut the toxic people out of your life.

5. One of the main signs of gaslighting: you constantly bend knee to keep from being further gaslighted

When bullies gaslight you daily, it can be tempting to apologize excessively. Again, understand that when bullies gaslight you, they re-victimize you by countering you for calling them out or reporting them. In a sense, they re-victimize you a second time.

Gaslighting is the primary reason why targets are often led to apologize for things that don’t require an apology. Calling someone out on their evil actions is one of those things that doesn’t warrant it.

I understand that the apologies that victims make are often knee-jerk reactions that come from extreme fear of gaslighting. Moreover, the incessant apologies are a way to appease the bullies and make them go away, leaving them alone.

However, bullies know this, and that’s why they gaslight you and use it to their advantage. They also know that such an apology isn’t heartfelt and that you’re only trying to pacify them and keep them from harming you again.

never give an unwarranted apology.

As tempting as it is, you should never apologize for confronting anyone over their abuse because, when you do, you only take away your own power and hand it over to your bullies.

On the other hand, when you refuse to apologize where an apology isn’t needed, it’s a sign of greater self-esteem and increased feelings of power. It also shows that you have more dignity and integrity.

It pays to know when to apologize and when not to. So, do it only when you should. Not when others think you should.

This only gives the bullies an ego boost and makes you appear weak.

Doing other things to appease the bullies, such as staying silent and doing what they want at your own expense, is also a form of bending the knee to them. Because bullies don’t only gaslight you for speaking out about their abuse and reporting them to authority members, they also gaslight you for refusing to give in to their demands.

Therefore, never apologize for calling a bully out or refusing to do what they want. Also, never cave in and obey if the bully demands that you do what they want. The only chance you have to end the gaslighting is to stand up to it, then distance yourself from the gaslighters.

6. Signs of GAslighting:

your bullies label you as “Unhinged.”

This is, perhaps, the cruelest form of gaslighting.

There is nothing that discredits victims like the “cray-cray” label. Even bank robbers and former prison inmates are believed more by others than someone who others have labeled mentally ill.

Labeling another person as mentally imbalanced is too easy because people have a strong tendency to see the worst in others, especially today. The mental health label also has lots of staying power.

Moreover, mental instability is the most difficult to disprove. Why? Because although your abusers can never prove that you are, in fact, bonkers, there’s also no way you can prove that you’re not.

Another reason it’s so hard to disprove is that any victim of bullying will more than likely be an emotional wreck because of the chronic abuse they suffer. And if your bullies can make you look loony, then who’s going to believe you when you speak out about the abuse?

The burden of proof falls on you.

However, know this. Any time bullies and abusers pull the “cray” card, they do it as a last option. The unstable label is used when there’s nothing else they can pin on you. Bullies use this tactic out of desperation when they know you’re onto them and their true natures are about to be discovered.

Here’s something else you should think about.

when bullies label you Loony, THEY ACTUALLY KNOW YOU’RE not.

When bullies label you as bonkers, it doesn’t mean they actually think you are.

Remember that bullies are big cowards, and if they really and honestly thought you were off your rocker, they wouldn’t come near you.

In other words, if a person with any common sense knows someone who is factually and legitimately batshit loony, their first instinct is to either stay away from the person or walk lightly around them and do their due diligence to keep from setting them off!

Why? Because a cr4zy person has no filter and no sense of right and wrong. Therefore, they have no reservations about seriously hurting someone or worse.

So, though they may label you as such, they know that you aren’t. What your bullies really think is that you’re weak. They only play the mental card to discredit you.

Always remember that.

To counter this, you must point out exactly what they’re doing and why they do it. Reject the label and continue to speak out, no matter what they may call you. The key to doing this is not to care what people think and eighty-six anyone who sticks you with the label, or any label for that matter.

7. Signs of Gaslighting:

you feel you can’t do anything right.

In other words, you’re damned if you do and damned if you don’t. If you stay silent and take it, they call you a wuss. If you report the abuse or stand against it, you’re either a bad person or you have a mental illness.

This is a form of gaslighting because it’s designed to confuse you and leave you filled with doubt. That’s what gaslighting does.

The way to combat this type of gaslighting is to stand firm and never give relevance to your bullies or their tactics. Stand your ground and stick to your guns. Remember, the trick is not to care less what they say or think. Don’t give it any oxygen and put some distance between yourself and your abusers. That’s how you win against gaslighters.

Your bullies may not change their attitudes toward you, but they’ll eventually disappear from your life if they can’t manipulate and gaslight you. Why? Because they prefer easy prey rather than someone who makes them work at it.

Also, you’ll feel much better about yourself knowing that you were wise to their games, stood up to them, and avoided future gaslighting.

this post was all about the 7 most common signs of gaslighting to help you wise up to the mind games and gather the confidence to stand against it and put a stop to it.

Related posts you will enjoy:

1. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use