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bullying and ego psychology

Bullying and Ego: Why Bullies Won’t Let You Go

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‘Want to know why bullying and ego are so tightly connected? Here are all the details you need to know.

bullying and ego

Bullying stems from ego. Moreover, many bullies feel the need to get that ego boost at your expense because they can’t control their own lives. So they seek to get control of yours. If you’re a victim of bullying, especially if you have been for a long time, you too may feel as if you have no control over your life.

To take back your power, you must first know where bullying comes from and its underlying causes. Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and ego and how they connect.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, it will compel you to stand up to your bullies once and for all and stop being the food that feeds their over-inflated egos.

This post is all about all the ways bullying and ego connect, so that you will get angry and take steps to grab your power back.

Bullying and Ego

If people are bullying you and have been doing so for a long time, you may feel powerless. You may think that you have lost complete control over your life. And, in truth, you have.

Powerlessness is the sense that you have no control over what happens to you. It diminishes your sense of security.

And for bullies to take away your power, they must crush your ego to feed theirs.

For Bullies to Feel Powerful, they must make you powerless.

In other words, they must chip away at your power and self-esteem for long enough that they reduce you to feeling like, “it’s out of my hands.” This takes time. But bullies are relentless, and worst of all, patient.

Bullies are empowered by stripping away your power. In fact, it’s the only way they can achieve power. When you stand up to them, they are left to deal with their own mental issues.

By riding roughshod over you, they don’t have to think about their own flaws and shortcomings. Instead, they can continue to convince themselves that they’re the alpha dogs.

Therefore, they gradually increase the attacks until they subdue you. Once they do this, you begin to feel like you have no control over your life. And, if you have that feeling for long enough, it can induce hopelessness.

This is what bullies hope for. Why? Because once they drive you to hopelessness, they’ll induce learned helplessness. In other words, you’ll likely stop fighting back and surrender to them. And that’s when they’ve got you!

Bullies know human nature like the backs of their hands. They know what works and what doesn’t. If they can’t get you one way, they’ll get you another.

Therefore, they’ll experiment with you by trying different kinds of attacks until they find the one that works on you. Then they’ll stick to what works.

Your bullies will slowly intensify their abuse to wear you down. And once they wear you down, you’ll likely give up.

Bullying and Ego:

Where do hopelessness and Learned Helplessness come from?

Hopelessness and learned helplessness don’t come from bullying and abuse per se. No. They stem from the inability to escape it. 

In 1967, Overmier and Seligman conducted an experiment on dogs to prove that learned helplessness was a real phenomenon. They locked the dogs in cages and then subjected them to electric shocks.

Naturally, the dogs tried to run away – to escape the painful shocks. However, the two scientists prevented the dogs from escaping.

Therefore, when the dogs realized that there was no way they could run from the shocks, they began cowering and showing signs of depression.

The dogs endured anywhere from twenty-four hours to one hundred sixty-eight hours of imprisonment and shocks. Finally, the researchers opened the doors to their cages and allowed them to go free.

However, the dogs didn’t attempt to flee. The dogs were broken. They only continued whimpering and cowering in the corners of their cages, even with the doors wide open.

The same happens to you after you’ve suffered bullying for long enough and have no way to escape it. You lose hope, and learned helplessness creeps in.

As a result, you stop defending yourself because you realize that it does no good. Again, this is what your bullies count on. So, when you stand up to them, things usually get worse before they get better.

Bullying and Ego:

Your powerlessness feeds your bullies’ egos.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Again, their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

“How dare you!”

What happens when you take your power back?

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls!

It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Also, many bullies will come up behind you and give you a hard shove if you turn your back and walk away from them.

They become even more abusive to bring you back under their control. Moreover, they will gaslight you. If they don’t deny the abuse, they’ll try to convince you that you brought it on yourself.

Bullying and Ego:

This is why you should never stop standing up for yourself.

When you stand up to bullies, you are setting boundaries. Bullies despise boundaries of any kind. Remember that bullies have gargantuan egos. They think that you should give them carte blanche to walk over you any time they feel like it.

Therefore, expect them to try to wear you down with endless attacks at first. Because, believe me, they will! And, no matter how exhausted you may become, don’t stop fighting for yourself.

You must continue to defend yourself. Because if you give up because you’re tired, the bullying will get worse. As long as you stay in the fight, you have a good chance of wearing your bullies out instead.

Trying to keep someone down is hard work, especially if they defend themselves. When you stand up to bullies, you don’t make it easy on them. Instead, you make them have to work.

You must be a force to be reckoned with.

Therefore, you must be such a huge challenge for them that they get tired. In fact, you must be willing to inflict a lot of pain on them in the process.

Therefore, the worse they bully you, the worse you fight back. When they attack you, you counterattack them harder. When they hit you, you hit back harder.

You must give your bullies consequences they’ll never forget. Moreover, you must inflict so much pain on them that they won’t even think of messing with you again.

Why? Because bullies don’t respond to politeness. You can’t reason with bullies. No amount of diplomacy will stop them. Bullies only mock you, then keep right on bullying you.

The only thing bullies respond to is strength and power. When you handle them with strength, that’s when they pay attention. When you impose painful consequences on them, they’ll listen up. Believe me!

You must make yourself too painful to deal with. You must be too much of a problem to handle. Only then will your bullies decide that you aren’t worth the trouble and leave you alone.

Why? Because, when you can make them think, “Oh, shit! I don’t want none of that,” that’s when you won’t have to worry about them ever coming for you again.

Bullies are cowards. Bullying is what cowards do. If you can make them fear you, they won’t even look in your direction. And if you can make bullies not want to mess with you, then no one else will either. This is how you earn respect.

This post is all about bullying and ego so that you will be motivated to stand up to bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Causes of Bullying: 9 Proven Factors That Trigger Bullying

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

3. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

4. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health 

bullying characteristics in the workplace

Bullying Characteristics: 10 Bullying Behaviors to Be Aware of

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‘Want to know all the bullying characteristics? Here is all the information you need to know.

bullying characteristics

Bullying exhibits both evident and subtle characteristics.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about several bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them immediately and deal with them accordingly.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be able to notice bullying when it happens and stand up to it confidently.

This post is all about recognizing bullying characteristics, so you can identify even subtle forms of bullying when they occur and defend yourself against bullies.

Bullying Characteristics

If you watch closely, you will notice that bullies and bullying have certain characteristics. Here’s what they are.

1. Craving Power and control over others.

One of the main characteristics of bullying is the desire to have power and control over others. Most bullies can’t control their own lives. Therefore, to compensate for this, they seek to exert power and control over their victims.

Now, bullies know that they can’t ride roughshod over just anyone. Therefore, they are very careful in who they select to take power over. In other words, bullies choose their victims wisely.

Therefore, if they choose you, let them know that they chose the wrong person to bully. Stand up for yourself. Make them regret they ever looked in your general direction!

2. Targeting those who are weaker.

Picking on those who display weakness is also one of the main characteristics of bullying.

For example, school bullies often target individuals who are weaker than they are. These are kids with low self-esteem and those who are shy.

Additionally, they may target individuals who are physically smaller and weaker than they are, those lacking social skills, and loners.

Why? Because these are the students who will least likely defend themselves. Children with low self-esteem may believe that they don’t deserve respect. Therefore, they don’t fight back.

Kids who are smaller may be too afraid to stand up to bigger bullies. And those who have the least social intelligence may not know how to stand up for themselves.

Therefore, these kids are the most susceptible to being bullied.

They rarely pursue other students who are confident and have healthy self-esteem. The reason they are selective is that they are cowards. They know that the confident students will likely stand up to them.

Therefore, bullies like to pick easy targets. If you are one of those victims, start standing up for yourself. And do it with strength!

3. Bullying Characteristics:

Trying to Bring down those who are confident.

This happens mainly in the workplace. School bullies go after the weak. However, workplace bullies are different than school bullies.

Bullies at work like to target coworkers who threaten their positions. Therefore, they target the people who are the most confident and knowledgeable.

Now, bullies on the job may target those who are weaker. However, they primarily target the confident and competent coworkers.

Why, because they are highly jealous of those who outshine them. Remember that workplace bullies are often trying to advance in the corporate hierarchy. And they do this by taking down anyone who performs better than they do.

For instance, if you are confident and intelligent, they may undermine your confidence by pointing out your mistakes during a meeting. They may also talk over you to make you look weak.

Here’s how you defend yourself against this form of bullying. When the bully talks over you, keep speaking. Don’t pause, no matter how hard it may be not to. Also, stay confident. You do this by knowing where the bullying comes from.

4. Psychological Warfare.

Physical bullying is too apparent. Therefore, most seasoned bullies in school and adults at work use psychological warfare against you.

Moreover, psychological bullying is one of the least noticeable characteristics of bullying. So, why do the most talented bullies use psychological tactics to bully you?

It’s because psychological bullying doesn’t leave any bruises or cuts. In other words, it’s the least evident and hardest to prove.

Psychological bullies bully by inflicting verbal abuse. They may also spread rumors and lies to tarnish your reputation and destroy your relationships.

Again, counter this kind of bullying. If it’s verbal, counter it. If it’s social bullying, stay true to yourself. This will reveal who your true friends are.

5. Bullying Characteristics:

Relational Bullying

The destruction of relationships and severing social connections are also characteristics of bullying. Moreover, they are forms of psychological bullying.

Bullies destroy your relationships and social life by spreading rumors and lies about you. They sow division between you and your friends by telling them that you’re talking badly about them behind their backs.

Moreover, bullies in power may threaten to harm your friends if they continue to associate with you. Why do they do this?

They do this to instill fear in your friends, hoping they will turn against you.

The reasons bullies do this are to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Your bullies know that if they can do this, the least likely people will stand up for you.

And they realize that the best way to keep others from aligning with you is to alienate you from them. They alienate you by instilling fear in your friends and loved ones.

Moreover, they know that if they plant seeds of doubt in your friends’ and loved ones’ minds about you, they have better chances of turning these people against you.

If your bullies can turn everyone against you, then they get to bully you anytime they want without the risk of turning everyone against them.

To protect against this kind of bullying, stay true to yourself. Those who genuinely like and love you won’t fall for their garbage. And those who do will only reveal their true slimy selves to you.

6. Bullying Characteristics:

Verbal Bullying

There are two ways bullies may verbally abuse you. They may be sneaky about it. Or, if they’re brazen, they may do it openly.

However, they do it, bullies verbally assault you to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Verbal bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Why? Because it can cause you to doubt your worth. All they have to do is inflict the abuse repeatedly and for long enough.

And, the more they repeat it, the more likely you are to start believing them. Bullies know that if they can get you to believe them, then you’ll likely live up to it.

And if you live up to it, then they’ll no longer have to work so hard. Why? Because you’ll begin confirming what they claim to have known all along.

That you really are no good!

Therefore, to keep this from happening, you must counter this type of bullying. Say something back. For instance, if the bully tells you that you aren’t worth a damn, you can say, “Maybe to you I’m not, but to many others, I’m the world.”

7. Non-Verbal Bullying

Non-verbal bullying is bullying through gestures and body language. Bullies may also use facial expressions to let you know that they’re watching you.

For instance, a bully may glare at you. They may stare you down. And, they may do it for a long time, without blinking.

Why do bullies do this? Simple. They do it to dominate and intimidate their victims.

Your bully may also pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand. They may flip you off.  Also, they might look at you, then take their thumb and make a cutting throat motion.

Understand that all these gestures and expressions are designed to intimidate you.

Moreover, non-verbal bullying is sneaky. Bullies use this kind of bullying to keep others from catching them in the act.

How you stand up to this kind of bullying is to mirror the same body language back to the bully. For example, if the bully gives you a dirty look, return the gesture.

8. Bullying Characteristics:

Keeping victims confused

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience for a person. I say this because when these types of people insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you.

While you may be unaware, any bystanders nearby will immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see more clearly from the outside.

What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. Moreover, they can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

Even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.

Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he is witty. Even if the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why they’re so slick with the mouth.

It’s because, again, they’re cowards. And, again, they want to confuse you to keep you from standing up to them.

But stand up to them anyway. There are ways you can stand up to this type of bullying.

9. Bullying Characteristics:

Physical Bullying

Physical bullies may beat you up to make you do what they want. Understand that this is a weakness because people only submit because they don’t want to get whipped.

In other words, they never do it because they want to, but to keep themselves safe from harm.

True influence is when someone does something for you because they genuinely want to do it. When people have a choice and they choose to do something you want, the result is so much more rewarding.

Understand that these bullies see everything as zero-sum. They either have total control or no control at all. There’s no in-between. If they can’t have complete influence, they feel ineffective and powerless.

Bullies usually get physical when they’ve tried everything else. In other words, when nothing else works, they turn to physical abuse as a last resort.

Anytime someone physically attacks you, you must defend yourself. Also, you can call the police. Whatever you do, don’t just do nothing. You must stand against this type of bullying.

10. Cyber-Bullying

Cyber-bullying is the most malicious and dangerous form of bullying. This is because a much wider audience sees the attacks. Also, there’s a high degree of anonymity. Why? Cyberbullies hide behind fake screen names and profiles to avoid exposure.

Cyberbullies are cowards. They fear being detected for the sick creeps they are. So, they use your private message inbox to unleash their vitriol onto you.

Even if you delete the person from your friends’ list, they can still flame you through the inbox.

Many cyberbullies think that you will be so emotional that you won’t think to take a screenshot of the message. Therefore, they will be emboldened to continue this behavior until you properly address the situation.

So, stay calm. Never react to the vile messages by sending evil messages of your own. Don’t call them names, even if they start out name-calling you. Do not react by cursing the cyberbully out or using all caps.

Instead, don’t respond. Just delete and block them. They may make more fake accounts. However, block them too.

This post was all about bullying characteristics so that you can recognize them and stand up to them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use 

2. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets 

3. Cyberbullying Tactics: 9 Common Tricks of Cyber-Bullies and Trolls 

bullying and school shootings statistics

Bullying and School Shootings: 8 Facts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know about bullying and school shootings and why you should think before you act?

bullying and school shootings

According to Science Direct, “Approximately 88% of school shooters had at least one social media account, and 76% posted disturbing content of guns and threatening messages. Over 72% of shooters had at least one reported adverse childhood experience, and 60% reported being bullied in-person or online.”

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and school shootings. Moreover, you will learn why taking a gun to school is wrong whether or not you were bullied. And thirdly, you will learn all the consequences of it to yourself and everyone else.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be compelled to seek out better ways to handle it if you’re a victim of bullying.

Bullying and School Shootings

Many victims of bullying end up destroying their own lives and the lives of others by taking a gun to school and murdering their classmates. This must stop now!

However, before we get into the nitty gritty of this topic, let’s first talk about the widespread occurrences of victims using their victim-hood as an entitlement to wrongdoing.

The Dangers of Copping Out Behind Victimization

Sadly, too many victims use victimization as justification for wrongdoing. They feel that because they suffered, life owes them somehow.

In fact, I’ve seen people mistreat others merely because of the bullying they suffered in the past. Why? Because they think it’s the only way they can feel empowered again.

For example, some people may choose to rob a bank. Maybe they burn down a corporate building because they grew up poor and didn’t get a fair shake in life.

Again, they feel that the world owes them. Moreover, they feel justified in striking back against a system they believe screwed them over.

Moreover, when the law finally catches them and hauls them off to jail, they become even more embittered. Why? Because the perpetrator feels that accountability only further evidences that they aren’t getting a fair shake.

However, here’s the reality many don’t want to accept. We’re still responsible for our actions regardless of what happened to us in the past.

Here are 8 facts you need to know!

1. Bullying and School Shootings:

Victim-hood does not exempt you from consequences.

Evil behavior always brings consequences. You reap what you sow.

Therefore, past victimization does not justify wrongdoing. Ever! A reason does not equal an excuse.

Even if you’re a victim of bullying, you’re still responsible for your life.

Therefore, why not learn from the bullying you suffer. Because, believe it or not, there are lessons in it. Let it teach you something. Also, let it motivate you to create a better life for yourself later.

Realize that school is only one chapter of your life, not the entire book. And know that things will get better. They did for me and they will for you too.

Many school shootings have happen in the past thirty years. We have Columbine, Santa Fe, Parkland, and Marjory Stoneman Douglas.

Therefore, it compels me to write about something which isn’t discussed enough. It’s no surprise that bullying is a factor most school shootings.

It seems that most of today’s kids don’t have the emotional strength that those of mine and older generations had. So again, let me remind you.

Being bullied is no excuse for taking human lives.

2. Your feelings are valid but your actions aren’t.

Not if you shoot someone.

Yes. Bullying can push you to the breaking point. And yes, after years of relentless and repetitive bullying, it’s easy to snap.

Believe me, I know how it feels when school staff cruelly rebuff you when you report bullying. However, bringing a gun to school and using it isn’t the answer.

Even if you do knock off a few of your bullies and turn the gun on yourself after you’re done, you’ll still leave death and mayhem in your wake!

Those left behind will still be here to deal with what you did. And, I promise you. You’ll leave your family and the families of the ones you took in utter devastation! In fact, you’ll destroy an entire community!

And people will remember what a coward you were. All because you chose to use a gun instead of your fists! They’ll always remember how you offed yourself to avoid going to prison.

And they will talk about it for years to come. Is that the legacy you want to leave behind? You have to think before you act!

Bullying and school Shootings:

Columbine

I have read many articles about the Columbine Shooting in April of 1999. Many experts stated that the perpetrators, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, had been bullied for years.

They said that the boys had gotten fed up with the continuous negative treatment. As a result, they finally went into a rage and lashed out. Sadly, many more victims of bullying have followed their example since.

I cannot stress enough how counterproductive it is to bring a gun to school! However, I believe there is something we’re missing here.

Somewhere along the way, parents have lost the ability to talk to kids about the consequence of their actions. Moreover, the mental health industry has also failed.

I know I’m going to piss a lot of people off. But, I’m going to be honest. I think that they’re in it more for the money than they are to help bullied kids. This is only my opinion.

3. public schools and the mental health industry work together.

It’s no secret that public schools and the mental health industry work together. Also, bullying in schools keeps the mental health machine humming.

It keeps the lobbies of mental health centers packed with fresh, young patients. Moreover, it keeps the pharmaceutical companies purring too.

They profit from shoving anti-depressants down these kids’ throats. Then, they send them on their way. In many cases, schools are the ones that recommend kids to these mental health facilities.

Hmmm… is it any wonder public schools do nothing to reduce bullying rates? ‘Gotta keep those mental health centers cashing in! Right?

And they have to keep Big Pharma’s pockets fat too. Mental health has become a cash cow these past few decades.

Not to mental, bullying, mental health, and school shootings make good political fodder. It keeps the left pushing for gun control and the right pushing to arm teachers and tighten school security.

Therefore, it keeps the political machine humming as well.

Bullying and School Shootings:

Teaching Bullies and Victims Personal Responsibility

Each incidence could have been prevented. Moreover, we CAN prevent the next shooting… before it happens?

Many want to preach about gun control. But, how about holding bullies accountable and teaching them better ways to deal with their emotions? How about teaching victims confidence and proper ways to defend themselves?

 And what about telling victims the truth? The cold, hard truth! That no one is coming to rescue them and it’s their responsibility to defend themselves!

Why? Because life’s not fair and it never will be. Most bullies are charming and convincing. Moreover, they will find ways of escaping accountability.

The point is that everyone has a responsibility here.

4. When You Shoot Bullies, You make them the victims.

Again, no matter how horribly you are treated, it doesn’t give you the right to harm someone. No matter how angry, sad or lonely you are, it is never okay to take a life. NEVER!

A cause is never an excuse. The only thing that justifies killing another human being is if they’re threatening your life or the lives of your family.

Murder is wrong. Moreover, there are better and more productive ways to handle bullying.

Let’s put it another way.  When you kill someone, you no longer get to claim victim-hood. Instead, you immediately become the aggressor and make your bully the victim!

Sorry. It is what it is!

You must understand that this is exactly what bullies want. They want to look like the victim in the eyes of others.

And they want to do it while sneakily torturing you and making you look like the bad guy. Therefore, by shooting them, you only make it so much easier for them to do that.

Remember that bullies are masters at feigning victim-hood. It’s the reason they go unpunished while you look guilty as hell.

Think about it. And think hard! Your bullies have looked innocent and vilified you for so long!Why then would you want to help them look like bigger victims?

5. Bullying and School Shootings:

When you shoot someone, your bullies’ lies about you become the truth!

Your bullies have already destroyed your reputation. Shooting them would only transform their lies into the truth.

You’ll only prove that you really are despicable person. In other words, you’ll only confirm that they were right about you all along.

Here’s another possible scenario. If you shoot your bullies, you will make them heroes. People will engrave their names on a memorial at the school. On the other hand, they’ll regard your name with contempt and disgust.

You will go down in infamy. People will view you as a disgusting and vile monster. Whereas, they’ll remember your bullies as martyrs. Seriously! Is that what you want???

Therefore, when you take the life of another human being, you not only put shame on yourself. You also put shame on your  family!

Do you really want to put the people who love you through that kind of humiliation? Once you kill someone, you can never correct it! You can never bring them back!

6. If you take a life, it won’t matter that you suffered bullying.

Nicolas Cruz didn’t think about this when he snapped and decided to go to Marjorie Stoneman Douglas High School and shoot his classmates. Yes. He was a victim of bullying.

 The other kids considered him to be “weird”. One of his classmates, Emma Gonzales even admitted to bullying him.

However, he chose to handle it incorrectly. He picked up a gun and shot several classmates.

Therefore, the fact that he was bullied is no longer relevant. That’s. Just. Reality!

Bullying and School Shootings:

7. If you shoot someone without just cause, no one will care why you did it.

They won’t give a damn what your reasons were! And it’s the same attitude with Nicholas Cruz. Nobody cares that he was bullied. Nobody cares that he was pushed over the edge

The only thing that matters is that several kids are dead because of him. And if you allow your bullies to drive you to committing murder, the same will go for you.

Yes, bullying is a hell only few can comprehend. I understand the intense rage. It builds to a climax after so many years of putting up with abuse.

Moreover, I understand the feeling of hopelessness. I’ve been there… in the trenches! But! You must think before you act.

Keep your wits about you no matter how badly people bully you.

You must learn to think ahead. This means thinking of the possible consequences you’ll face. Moreover, it means considering how it’ll devastate your family, not only theirs.

Think about what it would do to your future! How many prospects and opportunities would disappear, just like that!

8. Your bullies aren’t worth it!

Don’t do it! Think before you act! There are better ways to conquer bullies and bullying.

Therefore, take revenge by taking care of yourself. Make positive changes in your life. Transfer to another school and reinvent yourself if you must. It’s what I did!

Find your purpose. Set and accomplish your goals. Strive for self-betterment! If people don’t value you, then you need to create your own value.

This could be as simple as doing something you’re good at and winning an award for it. Or making an A on a test!

Instead of picking up a gun, pick up as many successes as you can. Instead of a gun, let SUCCESS be your weapon of choice! Why? Because, as Frank Sinatra quoted, “being wildly successful is the best revenge you can ever take.”

It’s about self! Make it about you and what you can achieve! Screw your bullies! They don’t matter. In fact, they don’t deserve the privilege of being in your life!

Make a lot of money! Win a truckload of awards! Write a book! Cut a CD… whatever fulfills you!

Make as many accomplishments and happy moments as humanly possible! Create your own value with SUCCESS!

This post is all about bullying and school shootings so that you’ll think before you do something drastic. Moreover, you’ll find more constructive ways to handle bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

4. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

5. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

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‘Want to know how to love yourself when everyone hates you. It won’t be easy, but here are some things you can do to keep loving who you are when it seems others don’t.

how to love yourself when everyone hates you

Continuing to love yourself is the most important thing you can do when you’re stuck in a place where everyone else hates you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can maintain your confidence and self-esteem.

Once you learn all about these crucial tips, your self-esteem won’t take such a big hit, and you’ll come away from it with minimal damage to your psyche.

This post teaches you how to love yourself when everyone hates you, so that you can preserve the most precious things you have- your confidence and self-esteem.

How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You

Life can get tough when you work or go to school in an environment where everyone else hates you. Here are twelve tips you can use to maintain self-love and protect your mental health.

1. Practice self-compassion.

In other words, treat yourself with the same kindness you would give to your best friend. When you practice self-compassion, you eliminate negative self-talk and encourage your inner voice to speak to you in a kind and gentle manner.

Also, you practice positive thinking. Look for the bright side when bad things happen or when people treat you unkindly. Maybe they’re jealous of an achievement you made.

Another part of self-compassion is re-framing every negative thing your bullies say to you. For instance, if a bully tells you that you’re no good, you reframe it. How? You do it by telling yourself that the bully is only projecting their own self-hatred onto you.

2. Practice self-care

If you don’t put yourself first, you’ll only end up finishing last. Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential! When you love yourself enough to take care of yourself, you boost your self-esteem and feel better about yourself.

So, how do you practice self-care? There are several ways to do so.

Practicing self-care means setting boundaries and saying no when necessary. It means prioritizing your own needs before those of others. Additionally, practicing self-care means treating yourself occasionally and engaging in activities you enjoy.

When you’re around those who hate you and want to harm you, you must make yourself top priority. And to hell with anyone who doesn’t like it.

3. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Be Yourself

If you continue to be yourself even when others try to change you, you keep your power. On the other hand, when you put on fronts to win approval from others, you only give it away. And you place it in the hands of people who couldn’t care less about you.

So, be yourself and think independently. Stop apologizing for your flaws and learn to embrace them. Start doing what you enjoy. Avoid the people who drain your energy and make you feel bad.

This is how you reclaim control of your life and start living life on your terms.

4. Walk away from toxic people

And be willing to walk away from those you care about if they don’t treat you with the same goodness in return. If they’re toxic family members whom you love, the hardest thing you can do is walk away. I understand that.

Loving yourself means making some tough decisions. Sometimes, you have to walk away from people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

This means letting go of the outcome. In other words, you must come to the point where you no longer care even the slightest about the results.

However, if it’s a family member, there’s a strong chance that your choosing to walk away may shock the person. Moreover, they may suddenly realize your value and regret having taken you for granted. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If it doesn’t, don’t feel guilty. Realize that you didn’t turn your back because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you deserve.

5. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Stop caring what other people think

When you care too much about what others think, you make yourself a slave to them. You jump through hoops to prove your worth. You say yes all the time because you won’t have the guts to say no.

Additionally, you may do things you don’t want to do and agree with things that contradict your beliefs. And you sacrifice your time, energy, and resources for people who only take you for granted.

You fall for their lies accept their crappy behavior to avoid conflict. Consequently, others notice, and they only see you as a doormat. Then, they lose respect for you.

So, buck up and stop giving undue value to other people’s opinions. Stop wondering if they like you and start asking yourself if you like them!

Instead of making everything about what others think, start making it about what you think! That’s how you take your power back!

6. Keep a journal or diary

Keeping a daily journal is one of the healthiest things you can do! Moreover, it’s even more critical when you deal with bullies and other people who hate you.

Keeping a journal allows you to document any instances of bullying and aggression. Moreover, it’s the best outlet you have when you have no one to turn to.

7. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Treat Yourself every now and again

There are many ways to treat yourself. For instance, you can go on a trip to the beach. If you’d rather stay home, you can treat yourself to a long soak in the bathtub with bubbles or a bath bomb.

You can even curl up in front of the fireplace and read a good book. However you like to treat yourself, do it. You’ll feel so much better when you do.

8. Take care of your health and hygiene

Taking care of your physical and mental health is of the utmost importance when you’re being bullied by people who hate you. In other words, exercise and eat healthy.

Eating a healthy diet provides the fuel you need to cope with life’s challenges. And when you pair that with exercise, you keep up your stamina.

And here’s another important point about exercise. It releases endorphins, these feel-good hormones that instantly lift your spirits.

Also, you must keep yourself clean. Bath often. Why? Because it helps you relax. You’ll be surprised at how much better you feel after a good bath or shower.

9. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

Dress your BEST. 

Taking pride in your appearance is crucial when you’re being bullied. If you look good, you feel good. Therefore, practice good grooming and dressing habits. The better you dress, the better you feel.

And here’s another point I want to make. The way you dress and the style you choose give you a little bit of control over your life. It’s true!

So, continue to dress well. Do not let yourself go! You will be amazed at what this does for your self-esteem.

10. Make Positive Affirmations

To make positive affirmations, create loving ‘I-Am’ statements to yourself every day. For example, look in the mirror and tell yourself, “I am a great person,” “I am smart,” “I am beautiful,” and so on.

This is how you protect your confidence and self-esteem when people mistreat you. And you would be amazed at how much better it makes you feel about yourself!

11. Do the things that make you happy and fill your soul

Indulge in your hobbies. Do the things you enjoy the most. When you’re too busy doing the things you love, you won’t have time to think about your bullies and how they treat you.

In other words, you won’t dwell on their abuse and feel sorry for yourself. Self-pity is the killer of confidence. Therefore, do the things you love most, and you’ll keep your confidence from spiraling downward.

12. How to Love Yourself When Everyone Hates You:

See through their hatred of you.

Realize that their hatred hurts them more than it does you. Hate will fool you. Why? Because when a person hates someone, the person they hate either doesn’t know about it or they don’t care.

Therefore, realize that your bullies’ hatred of you is fruitless. It isn’t getting them anywhere. The only thing it does is rot out their very souls.

While they’re burning with their hatred of you, you’re going about your business and living your life. Even worse for them, you’re living your life in peace. You’re doing the things you enjoy and taking care of yourself.

Therefore, your bullies are wasting their time and energy hating on you. Moreover, they only cause themselves misery.

So, let them hate.

In Conclusion:

One of the hardest things to do is to love yourself when everyone hates you. However, you must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others to validate you. Let love come from within!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go. It also means doing everything you can to take care of yourself and maintain your happiness and fulfillment.

This post was all about how to love yourself when everyone hates you so that you can be more resilient and resistant to the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well 

2. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

4. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

5. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

bullying or mobbing difference

Bullying or Mobbing?

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‘Want to know if it’s bullying or mobbing? Here are all the signs you need to know.

bullying or mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time and has escalated such that it has now reached a dangerous level. In short, bullying has reached epic proportions.

This is when bullying can become mobbing.

In this post, you will learn how to tell whether you suffer bullying or mobbing so that you can recognize the difference.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to see the difference and take the appropriate steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about how to tell if what you’re enduring is bullying or mobbing. This is so you can decide whether you should keep fighting or cut your losses and leave the environment to be safe again.

Bullying or Mobbing

When there’s chronic bullying, bullies have grown so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Also, they will pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

Where there’s chronic bullying, there’s no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s simply no incentive to stop.

What is chronic bullying?

Chronic bullying is bullying that has gone on for a long period of time. This type of bullying has usually been happening for several years.

Chronic bullying happens once the bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed. In other words, no one has spoken up about it. Moreover, no one has ever held your bullies accountable for the way they’ve treated you.

Therefore, the bullies have gotten away with it. And, because they’ve gotten away with it, they’ve grown more bold in their attacks.

In other words, your bullies have become brazen. In fact, they’ve become so cocky, and encouraged that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

This is because others have have probably supported your bullies’ behavior. Therefore, they only encourage them to bully you more.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Chronic Bullying Becomes Mobbing.

After bullies have bullied you for many years, their apathy toward you has grown until they have lost all empathy. In that, they’ve come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

They now have the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel, is okay. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, they don’t look at you as a human being. They only see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why this type of bullying is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you have a high probability of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

When it’s bullying, you may have one person or a small group bullying you. When it’s mobbing, almost everyone bullies you.

Bullies who bully to these extremes usually have droves of followers and minions backing them up. As time comes on,  they enlist more members of their following to do their dirty work.

The bullying gets this out of control, it becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies are seemingly drunk on their own power and hatred that the bullying and torment of you seem to be all the bullies can focus on. Everyone else bullies you too.

They’re like a swarm of  angry bees that won’t stop chasing you and stinging you.

Bullying or Mobbing:

The Swarm Effect.

When bullies target you, others may also target you too. For instance, if one person bullies you, then soon, you’ll have two bullying you. Then, four, then six! And the number of bullies continues to increase.

And, before you know it, everyone is targeting you.

The reason others jump in on the fun of bullying you is because they want to feel like they’re a part of a group.

Again, when everyone begins bullying you, that’s when you know that the bullying has progressed to mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing include high emotions like, intense anger and blind hatred. In other words, the mob can no longer control themselves.

Instead of the mob controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions control them! The bullies are controlled by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the bullying becomes constant. It has to for the bullies to get their fix and maintain the high that power gives them.

Understand that, by the time bullying becomes mobbing, others no longer see you as a human being. Instead, they see you as so worthless and inferior that you don’t deserve the time of day, much less any respect.

As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as them! In fact, you don’t deserve to breathe, period!

This is why chronic bullying can be especially dangerous to the target because the victim runs the chance of either breaking and dying of suicide or being murdered by their bullies.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Why mobbing can be the most dangerous.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, things can get dangerous very quickly. Also, mobbing is difficult to control.

This is because, in a case of mobbing, the mob’s emotions are so out of control that any logic goes out the window. Moreover, it blocks their ability to reason.

Their logical brain shuts down and their primal brain takes over. They’re like a pack of wild dogs who surround their prey.

Therefore, the mob’s first instinct is to tear you apart!

The power of vicious people in large groups.

Strength always comes in numbers. Moreover, when you have a large number of people who are out to get you, you don’t have a chance.

One person can’t stand up against a mob of five or more people. And most schools have anywhere from a hundred to five thousand students. Companies can have 10 employees or they can employ over ten thousand workers.

Again, if you’re mobbed in a school of five hundred students or a company with a thousand workers, you don’t have a prayer!

Why? Because a large mob has a collective power that’s impossible to stand against.

Bullying or Mobbing:

So, what can you do?

This is why it’s so important to get out anytime bullying becomes mobbing. Get out of that environment. You can transfer to another school or go to work for another company. Also, you can move to another area.

Again, once bullying becomes mobbing, it becomes so out of control that it takes on a life of it’s own. There’s no stopping it at this stage.

Therefore, the only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Just disappear. Go somewhere quiet.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. People in a mob aren’t worth fighting. Moreover, it isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

This post was all how to tell if what you endure is bullying or mobbing so that you can take the appropriate measures to protect your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger 

bullying and dehumanization psychology

Bullying and Dehumanization: 10 Ways Bullies Dehumanize You

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‘Want to know about bullying and dehumanization? ‘Want to know how dehumanization progresses and all the ways bullies try to dehumanize you? Here are all the details!

bullying and dehumanization

Dehumanization is dangerous because, when bullies dehumanize you, they label you as sub-human and not worthy of the same rights and considerations as others.

And, once people began looking at you as sub-human, it removes any conscience they might have had before. Therefore, it only makes it much easier for them to abuse you. In fact, even though you’re another human being like they are, they may think that mistreating you is necessary and justified.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and dehumanization. Also, you’ll learn the ways bullies dehumanize you.

Once you learn this crucial, even life-saving information, you will be able to take steps to protect yourself from it. You will also be able to act when you witness it happening to someone else.

This post is all about bullying and dehumanization so that you will recognize it when it happens to you or someone else.

Bullying and Dehumanization

Bullying and dehumanization go hand in hand. Your bullies make you sub-human so that it can be easier for them to abuse you without feeling guilty about it.

What is Dehumanization?

Dehumanization is when everyone else sees those who are not like them as less than human. When people see you as subhuman, they feel that you’re undeserving of the same rights and consideration as everyone else.

For instance, Nazis in 1930’s Germany saw the Jews as less than human. Therefore, it was easier for them to brutalize and kill them.

Dehumanizing you is what bullies will try to do to you if they’ve selected you as their victim. Realize that bullies are abusers and bullying is abuse. And it can only happen if the abuser views their victim as inferior to the rest of the human race.

Dehumanization always starts out subtle.

Bullies and their supporters will analyze you, picking out your differences. Then, they will use those differences to place you in the “other” category.

They then single you out. They may start by leaving you out of social functions and gatherings. Also, they may hurl subtle insults at you that others barely notice. Then slowly take the insults up notch by tiny notch.

Bullying and Dehumanization:

Here are 10 ways they dehumanize you.

1. They spread rumors and lies about you.

And they will repeat those lies over and over. As the old saying goes, “A lie told once remains a lie. But a lie repeated a thousand times becomes the truth.”

Bullies do this to convince others outside the bully-victim relationship to look at you the way they do. In other words, they want everyone else to view you as defective and morally bankrupt.

Although spreading rumors and lies about you hasn’t reached the level of dehumanization yet. It’s the starting point on the path to it.

2. They demonize you.

How bullies demonize you is through smear campaigns. As this happens, they stir everyone else’s emotions into a frenzy to induce anger and hostility toward you.

Bullies see you as a threat to their power. Therefore, they demonize you to drive you to the bottom of the social hierarchy.

And the smears grow more vicious until they’ve succeeded in turning everyone against you.

3. They place you in an undesirable category of people.

Your bullies may place you in a category of people to make you less of an individual. It’s a psychological fact that de-individualized people seem less than human.

Therefore, you become less protected by social norms against abuse than those viewed as individuals.

For example, your bullies may take away your individuality by placing you in the mentally unstable category. They know that the majority of people view the mentally imbalanced as the least human compared to other categories of people.

In fact, those who suffer from mental illnesses are seen as less human than even hardened criminals. It’s the sad truth.

Once they do this, it becomes easier to justify their brutal atrocities against them.

4. Bullying and Dehumanization:

Everyone grows to hate you.

Moreover, when the bullies demonize you, bystanders and others may turn against you.  As time goes on, they may develop the same feelings of hatred toward you.

And it only progresses until your bullies have alienated you from everyone. Then, it becomes easier for them to frame you as the evil monster that must be destroyed.

5. They classify you as “the enemy.”

Bullies convince themselves and everyone else that you’re the enemy.   They do this by assigning negative characteristics to you. Moreover, they convince everyone else that you’re void of any morals and decency.

You may be innocent. In other words, you may not have done anything to provoke anyone. However, that doesn’t matter. Bullies and everyone else see you as their enemy

. Therefore, they will categorize you as sub-human to justify abusing you. They will make the abuse seem reasonable and necessary.

This is how dehumanization works.

Once your bullies succeed in portraying you as morally and ethically inferior, evil, and sub-human, they then classify you as the enemy. And once they deem you as an enemy, it becomes much easier for them to brutalize you.

Everyone else will also think that bullying you is acceptable. Again, they may look at it as necessary. 

6. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They Strip you of your most basic human rights.

And because your bullies paint you as a diabolical enemy, they believe that the abuse they inflict on you is an obligation. They’re not bullying you. They’re only reacting to an evil enemy. And once they’ve framed you as the enemy, their perspectives of you only become more rigid.

Naturally, most people believe that everyone has the same basic human rights. And those rights should be protected.

Most believe that everyone deserves to be treated fairly and justly – that every human being deserves dignity and respect.

In this country, the majority of people believe that everyone deserves the ability to meet their own needs. Also, they know that everyone has the right to make their own choices.

Even criminals have the right to a fair trial. Also, they have the right to be safe from inhumane punishment for their crimes.

However, in your bullies’ eyes, you’re on the outside of humanity. So, you don’t qualify to receive fair treatment. Moreover, they feel they should block you from any resources to meet your basic needs.

For example, bullies may call around to employers and tell them not to hire you. Why?

Because, again, they do not believe that you are worthy of humane treatment. This is especially dangerous because it puts you at risk of human rights violations, such as physical beatings and even murder.

7. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They feel less guilty for abusing you.

Once others begin viewing you as subhuman, it becomes much easier for them to treat you in ways they would never treat another fellow human being.

Any social restraints that once kept them from abusing you will disappear. Therefore, it will only increase the likelihood that the bullying will get out of control.

It’s hard to believe that even kind people can turn evil. But, in cases like this. It happens.

This is what dehumanization does. It removes any limitations of abusing you. Therefore, it strips you of your rights to personal safety.

Moreover, people begin doing things to you that they never would have done before. This is how good people turn evil.

8. They Accuse you for the same things they’re guilty of.

Once your bullies have succeeded in alienating you from the rest of the school, workplace, or community, they then compare their moral virtues with yours.

In other words, they view everyone else as innocent while viewing you as sickeningly evil. In that, they only deny, downplay, and ignore their evil actions while viewing anything you do as evil or having ulterior motives.

For example, when people mistreat you, others may believe that it’s justified and necessary. However, if you dare to defend yourself against their abuse, they only see it as evidence that you’re a bad person.

Even though you’re the one they’re abusing, they don’t see it that way.

Your bullies and their flying monkeys project their faults and bad behavior onto you. For instance, if your bullies are highly aggressive, they will accuse you of being highly aggressive but not them.

However, see this for what it is. Bullies do this to protect their self-image. Also, they do it to tighten the bonds in their group.

As a result, it only increases their animosity toward you, and the fight intensifies. Therefore, it makes it even easier for them to dehumanize you.

9. Bullying and Dehumanization:

They seek to eliminate you.

Their thinking only becomes zero-sum. Your bullies and their supporters must either destroy you or be destroyed.

Therefore, they up the ante and decide that the best thing for them to do is to annihilate you.

In other words, they want you gone! Down through history, dehumanization has caused many murders and genocides.

It’s because the ultimate goal of dehumanization is the elimination of its target. Dehumanization has paved the way for the taking of many innocent lives.

Realize that they see you as expendable.

10. Once they’ve eliminated you, they’ll deny that they ever bullied you.

After you’re gone, your bullies and everyone else will deny they ever bullied you. Also, they will search for another victim because that’s just what they do.

What can you do to protect yourself?

You probably won’t realize it until it’s already gone too far. Therefore, the best thing to do is to leave the environment and never look back.

You must go where you are safe. And the farther away you move, the better. However, tell no one where you’re going or that you’re moving at all. In the age of social media, it’s just best not to reveal where you plan to move.

Just pack your things and disappear. Your bullies will probably wonder where you went. They may hunt for you for a while. But your enemies won’t find you. They won’t know where to look.

Realize that this doesn’t mean you’re a coward. You are not running from them. You are going somewhere where you can live in peace. Therefore, what you are doing is smart, not cowardly.

Do what you must do to ensure your safety. You’ll be so glad that you did!

This post is all about bullying and dehumanization so that you can recognize the patterns and get out before they have a chance of doing real damage to your psyche.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power 

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying 

pack mentality psychology

Pack Mentality: All About Group Bullying

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‘Want to know all about pack mentality and why people conform to groups? And do you want to learn how conformity leads people to victimize others? Here’s all the information you need to know.

pack mentality

We are all social creatures by nature. Isolation from a group is terrifying to people and we feel a sense of relief when we find others who think the same way we

When we’re in a group, we’re compelled to take up the opinions and ideas of that group because it brings us relief and a sense of belonging. It’s a fact that a person will act differently in a group than they will individually. Group behavior is contagious. It grows and gains momentum, and it does so very quickly.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about pack mentality, conformity, and how it puts you in danger if you are a victim of bullying.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information. You will be more compelled to take the steps necessarily to keep yourself safe from group bullying.

This post is all about pack mentality and the danger it poses to bullying victims so that you can do what you must do to ensure your own safety.

Pack mentality

If you’re a target of bullying, group behavior has ways of changing your social identity and rewriting your history. Also, it creates more absurd accusations against you.

With time, group behavior gets more and more bizarre until their own hatred blinds them. Moreover, no one knows what really happened or how the hostility even got started. All everyone in the group knows is they want you destroyed and will stop at nothing to make that happen!

In a case of bullying by an entire group, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve done anything to bring the hostility about. And it doesn’t matter whether there is or isn’t anything wrong with you. Whether you’re innocent of any wrongdoing is irrelevant.

In fact, you more than likely did nothing wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Again, that doesn’t matter when you have an entire group of people who detest you.

It doesn’t matter if you are a great person with a heart of gold. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have stunning good looks and a truckload of talent. Why? Because these people could care less about those things.

All that matters is that they hate you, and they’re out to get you!

And that’s a fact! They’re no different than a pack of wild, pit bull dogs.

Therefore, you absolutely must prepare and protect yourself! And your first step to doing this is to understand that bullies who bully in groups never act rationally. When people bully in groups, any logic goes right down the toilet. And emotion always prevails.

When bullies attack, bystanders usually join in. Everyone in the group bands together to humiliate and hurt you. And they have a shared love of seeing you suffer.

In a large group, bullies and bystanders act like fans rooting for their favorite ball team and against the rival team. In a case of bullying, you are that rival team.

Pack Mentality:

A Group of bullies is much more powerful than one bully.

This is much more dangerous. Why? Because the bullies and their loyal sycophants vastly outnumber you. Therefore, they know that it’s safe to show hostility.

People in groups are far more open with abuse. Why? Because their numbers give them more anonymity and protection.

Combine their numbers with the group’s comradery and hostility, and they become even more powerful. And dangerous! It’s the same kind of scenario you see in political fights and persecution.

The enthusiasm of the bullies and supporters is that of an entire nation when its soldiers return home from war. It spreads throughout the group with extreme fervor. It exalts their “heroes” while degrading the enemy.

In sports against the opposing team, in the military against the enemy on the battlefield, or a group of bullies and bystanders against a target, the mentality and feelings of hostility are all the same. It’s the dynamic of “us versus them.”

When bullies turn an entire school, workplace, or organization against you, the entire group shares a great degree of esprit de corps. In other words, members of the group solidify themselves to one another. Moreover, they develop a sense of pride in their group.

At the same time, they distance themselves from you. In this, they overplay the sameness in their clique. Moreover, they exaggerate how different you are from them.

The greater the hatred and hostility, the more they band together and bond with each other.  And the more they wish to harm you. And they don’t only want to hurt you, they want to eliminate you.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better prepared you’ll be when the mob comes for you.

Pack Mentality strengthens group cohesion.

In Robert Greene’s book entitled, “The Laws of Human Nature,” I once read that everyone needs a hated enemy and that there’s a positive side to having one… at least for them.  I’ve found that with packs of bullies, this is true.

Bullies in groups need an enemy, whether real or imagined. This helps them band together and fight against- an “us-versus-them” object.

Why? Because the presence of an enemy has always served to strengthen group cohesion and unite members. Groups use their hatred of the enemy to tighten the bonds among it’s members.

Moreover, if they can get anyone with power to join in the hatred, all the better. Why? Because they can more easily align together and eliminate you. The person in power can anyone from a teacher to a politician.

Sadly, love doesn’t unite people like hate does. Having shared hatred for someone bands people together much quicker and more effectively.

Bullies get their power from an entourage.

Remember that there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have groupies to back them up. Therefore, you will never see a bully alone. Why? Because they can’t handle being by themselves.

Bullies are cowards! Wimps! Wusses! They always attack in groups because they need their wing men to back them up. The pack is where they draw their power.

Without their backup, bullies are just as powerless as you are. A bully is too afraid to attack you one on one because they fear that you would bury them where they fall.

The bigger the group, the more intense the hatred. And the more intense the hatred, the stronger the solidarity and he less likely it is that the group will disband.

Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

Dog Pack Mentality:

The victim serves several purposes for the group.

If you’re a victim of a large group of bullies, you are the tie that binds them. You unwittingly assure that the group always stays together as one.

Without you, a group of bullies is weak and things get boring real fast. Therefore, it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

If you suffer bullying from a group, they also need you for shared entertainment. They will use you as a victory trophy to collect and display. Also, they must use you as a guinea pig to test their strength and power on.

You are there for them to show others proof that they really are powerful.

Therefore, you give your bullies many outcomes. And once you’ve served your purpose, your bullies and their supporters will neatly and quietly dispose of you. Then, they’ll select a new victim.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better you can protect yourself against it.

Each member conforms to the rest of the group.

Conformity can be good because we conform to sensible laws and rules in order to ensure a safe and well-run society. Conformity holds us together.

However, when people conform at their own expense or to harm another person, that’s when it’s a bad thing. That’s when conformity becomes toxic conformity.

As mentioned earlier, hate is what fuels pack mentality. But toxic conformity also perpetuates it. Therefore, each member will take turns bullying you because they know it’s expected of them by the rest of the pack.

In fact, some of the members will bully you just to fit in.

As a result, the group rewards each member with inclusion and acceptance. Moreover, those rewards come at your expense.

We call this, “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.” And most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

Pack Mentality:

What is the difference between conformity and toxic conformity?

Again, conformity can be a good thing because it ensures a peaceful society. Everyone conforms to laws that keep peace and ensure safety.

On the other hand, toxic conformity only brings danger.

Conformity encourages people to speak up when they see wrongdoings and injustices. Therefore, it brings awareness of suffering.

Toxic conformity, on the other hand, forces people to stay silent about atrocities. It only blinds people to any pain others may experience.

Conformity promotes the love care for the individual. Toxic conformity promotes hatred and abuse of the individual.

What happens if a few members of the Bullying pack don’t conform?

Each member expects the others to act the same way they do. They expect them agree with everything they say and do. Right or wrong, they also expect them to keep their mouths shut.

In other words, each person must go along to get along.

So, what happens to them if they don’t bully you like the rest of the pack expects them to? They will be ostracized by the rest of the group. Moreover, the non-conformer will likely become the group’s new target.

They may be subjected to smear campaigns or physical violence. In extreme cases, they may even be murdered. Therefore, each member of the pack knows that they’d better conform or else.

So, they bully you to protect their own hide.

Therefore, when a pack of bullies comes for you, you must know where their hostility comes from. And you must take the appropriate measures to protect yourself.

Pack Mentality:

So, what can you do to protect yourself from a large group of bullies?

The effects of this kind of bullying can be severe. Therefore, it’s important that you take steps to defend yourself.

if you are a victim of bullies with pack mentality, especially if they’re in a large group you can call one of the members out by name and yell, “Stop!” When you call one or more members by name, you are removing their anonymity.

Therefore, you will shock them back to reality and they might just go away.

  If that doesn’t work, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the environment.

For instance, if you suffer this form of bullying in school, you may need to transfer schools. If it’s happening at work, you will need to create an exit plan and begin looking for a new job as soon as possible.

If this kind of bullying is coming from a band of townies in a community, it’s best if you just packed up and moved to another area.

Granted, either of these things may be difficult to do. However, it’s crucial if you have a band of bullies on your trail. And what other choice will you have?

 Change, especially positive change, is never easy. However, persecuted people have uprooted and left their home countries for the US in order to attain freedom.

Moreover, they found a better life. So, how much easier would it for you to leave a toxic environment? Move to a place where you can be safe and where you can grow and flourish. Only then will you live in peace!

This post is all about pack mentality so that you can recognize it and take steps to keep yourself safe from harm.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People 

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

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‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

when bullying gets out of control

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

  • “We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
  • “Who’s going to stop us?”
  • “Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

gatekeeper bullying in the workplace

Gatekeeper Bullying: 10 Ways Bullies Act as Gatekeepers

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Want to know about gatekeeper bullying? Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

gatekeeper bullying

Gatekeepers are those who allow only certain people in and keep others out.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about gatekeeper bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn about this sneaky form of bullying, you will be able to find ways to skirt around the gatekeeper and protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying to give you the signs you need to recognize.

Gatekeeper Bullying

This kind of bullying occurs mainly in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, at school, in the neighborhood, or even in the family.

Before we get into this topic, let’s find out what gatekeeping is. Therefore, what is gatekeeping? It is the act of taking control over resources, time, materials, information and chance opportunities.

Again, gatekeeper bullying happens mostly in the workforce. However, it can happen anywhere. Gatekeepers can be individuals or groups. They’re the type of bullies who specialize in letting only certain people in and keep others out of the loop.

As a result, they limit the choices and opportunities of those they deem unworthy and give them all to others. Therefore, understand that gatekeeping is a form of bullying.

Why? Because it’s specifically designed to leave out people the gatekeeper either hates or doesn’t like.

Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are passive bullies.

Why are they passive? Because they aren’t out there, actively doing things to make their victims’ lives hell. In fact, they don’t have to do anything at all.

The problem is not what they do, it’s what they don’t do. These bullies are passive because they take a more indirect approach. Therefore, they’re much harder to detect.

While other bullies are out there, actively doing bad things to ruin their targets’ lives, gatekeepers do their dirt on the sly.

This is what makes gatekeeper bullying so hard to prove.

The weapons this type of bully uses are their talents, resources, time, materials, and their access to information. Therefore, they have the power to either withhold those things or use them as leverage against you. Also, they have the power to control deadlines.

In doing these things to the people they can’t stand, they create undo stress for them. So, what tactics do these people use against you?

1. Gatekeeper Bullying:

They Withhold resources.

These resources could be money or material like paper and ink cartridges for the printer. ‘You see? Gatekeepers like to bully those who are bold, resourceful, innovative, and creative. And if you’re that type, look out!

Why? Because you threaten them. Therefore, these bullies will withhold resources just to slow you down. And when you ask them where the materials are? They’ll only sweetly reply that they either can’t find them or that they’re running low.

Therefore, they’ll make plausible excuses.

But see this for what it is and the goal behind it. They do this to sabotage you on the job. And it’s designed to make you look incompetent or that you just don’t give a crap.

Without the tools to do your job, you appear to be a bad employee. And, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Sally didn’t give you the supplies you needed to do your assignment?

If nothing else, know this! These bullies have a vested interest in keeping you out of the loop.

2. Controlling Your Access to Accurate Information.

This person will control your ability to have the information you need to complete a task. They’ll do this by either completely withholding it or only giving you bits and pieces of it.

For instance, they might give you a five-step process to an assignment when the job requires ten steps to complete.

Also, if there’s a company meeting that starts at eight o’clock, the gatekeeper may tell you that the meeting starts at eight-fifteen.

They may even “accidentally” forget to tell you about a mandatory Zoom call. Gatekeepers may also discourage others from helping you out.

And you won’t think to question it because this person has probably worked with the company longer than you have. Therefore, you’re likely to trust them.

Even if you don’t, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Kathy gave you the wrong information?

You must know the intentions behind it. And the gatekeeper’s objective is to make you look like you can’t do your job.

3. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving Unrealistic Deadlines.

For example, these types of bully bosses may give you deadlines that are impossible to reach. Moreover, they might pile so much work on you that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting it done in time.

And, are you likely to question the boss? Would you have the guts to tell him that there’s no way you can make that deadline or complete all that work in time?

And if you did, what do you think the boss would say? He’d likely hit you with a barrage of gaslighting.

Make no mistake! Your boss really doesn’t want you to make that due date. He wants you to fail. Why? Because it makes you look bad.

4. Controlling Opportunities.

This bully will block any chances of advancement. For instance, you may be up for a well-deserved promotion and get passed over. Instead, they may give it to someone who isn’t qualified.

In fact, they’ll give it to anyone who isn’t you. Why? Because if they gave it to you, they would have to admit that you’re damn good at your job.

And when you’re good at your job, you outshine them. Therefore, in order for the boss to look like he’s better than you, he has to make you look like crap.

5. Gatekeeper bullying:

Controlling Your Life-Chances.

These bullies might throw a monkey wrench in your life-chances. So, what are life chances?

According to EBSCO Research Starters, they “refer to the probabilities of opportunities to individuals in society, influencing their potential for success and upward mobility.

Gatekeepers love to control your life chances and keep you stuck. Why? Because it gives them a rush of power. Also, it keeps them on top.

So, how do they do it? They do it by giving a potential employer a bad reference when you leave the toxic workplace.

Therefore, how do you protect yourself from an undeserved bad reference? You do it by just putting in your resignation, fulfilling the conditions of your two-weeks notice, and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Also, if possible, you don’t put them down as a reference. I know this sounds dishonest. However, if you quit a workplace you were bullied in, it’s never a good idea to even let on to a new company that you ever worked for them.

Because workplace bullies will find ways to block you from future employment if they get the opportunity to do so. Therefore, it’s best not to give them that chance.

6. Destroying Your Chances of Success.

This is what their shenanigans are all about. To keep you from having any successes. Again, the bully’s entire mission is to set you up to fail.

They trip you up, then stand back and smile as they watch you fall on your face. And they pat themselves on the back for a job well-done.

They’ve contained the threat and now they can breathe easier and work in peace, knowing that their little corner is safe again.

7. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Excluding you from meetings, classes, and workplace social functions.

These bullies will also conveniently forget to tell you about any meetings or social gatherings. Moreover, they’ll make sure no one else tells you either.

Why? They do it simply to make you feel like you don’t belong there. Also, they do it to make success feel like it’s out of reach.

8. Adding more steps than needed to do your job.

Bullies may tell you that your job requires more steps than it really does. Understand that they do this to slow you down.

Why? Because you just might make that deadline and upstage them. Trust me when I say this. These people will pull out all the stops to keep you from finishing tasks.

9. They distract you from your work.

Workplace bullies deliberately distract you from your projects with constant interruptions, which are time-consuming. Why? Because they know that if they can stall you, they may cause you to miss a deadline.

Moreover, they may call your office phone with constant memos and reminders. But realize that it’s all a ploy to throw you off your game.

10. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving you meaningless or degrading assignments.

Bully bosses will often take you off you regular work assignments and give you degrading or subservient jobs. For instance, they may select you to clean the office bathrooms.

Also, they may designate you to make coffee runs for everyone else. Or he may give you the task of serving coffee to the rest of the team.

You might even be tasked with emptying all the trash.

However, see this for what it is. He’s doing it to degrade you. In other words, he’s demoting you, only without making it official.

In closing

If you recognize three or more of these signs and they occur repeatedly, it might be time to quietly begin looking for new employment.

You won’t to create an exit plan early in the game. Why? So that you can get out before the bullying has time to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

You must do what you can to protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying on the job so that you can recognize it when it happens to you, cut your losses, and quietly find new employment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

the impacts of bullying at work

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

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‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

the impacts of bullying

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

 And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

  • That you take things wrong.
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • That you had it coming.
  • That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself.  You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire,  but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You create a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

 Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

bullying and psychological effects in children

Bullying and Psychological Effects: 11 Emotions Victims Feel

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‘Want to know all the bullying and psychological effects? Here are all the emotions that come with being a victim of bullying.

bullying and psychological effects

Bullying and psychological effects are closely related. Targets go through so many raw emotions. They go from anger, to sadness, to hopelessness and so much more.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the emotions victims feel so that you can know what you’re feeling and know when to get help.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to better take care of yourself.

This post is all about bullying and psychological effects so that you can show yourself compassion and get profession help when you need it.

Bullying and Psychological Effects

If you’re a victim of bullying, here are all the emotions you’ll likely feel so that you can understand what you’re feeling and why. Self-knowledge is one of the steps to overcoming bullying.

Emotions Victims of Bullying Feel

Targets of bullying endure a hell that no one can comprehend. Unless they have experienced bullying, others won’t understand what it does.

It’s the same with the range of resulting emotions they feel. Unless you’ve been there, you can’t imagine the intense stress and the wide array of powerful emotions that come with it. The psychological effects cannot be underestimated!

1. Grief

Once bullies select you as their object of bullying, life as you know it changes. You mourn for the way your life used to be and long to get things back to the way they were.

You also grieve the loss of the dignity and respect you once had. Moreover, you mourn the loss of your reputation and good standing. In fact, you’ve lost your entire identity.

You grieve for your friends and in some cases, your spouse and family. There’s nothing worse than to endure grief over a loved one who’s still alive.

2. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Bewilderment

You don’t understand why this is happening to you. You can’t fathom why people are bullying you because you know you’ve done nothing to deserve it.

You’re shocked that people you love and who you thought loved you have turned against you. You’re also at a loss as to what you did to bring about such hatred.

In your heart, you know that you’re a great person. You’re fully aware of the good you bring to this world.

3. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Confusion

You don’t know which way to turn. Who do you turn to? How do you remedy the situation? Each time you do something to make things better, the bullying only intensifies. Therefore, you feel stuck!

4. Terror

Anytime you’re targeted, the fear can be paralyzing. You’re afraid to speak but afraid not to speak.

Moreover, you’re frightened of the people around you. You’re scared to make any moves or decisions. Why? Because you know that people will scrutinize anything you do.

They’ll only see it in a negative light. You’re afraid to come to school or work because you know what’s waiting for you when you get there.

You know that none of it is just your imagination. They’re all out to get you and if you show up, they’ll only blindside you with another bullying attack.

5. Sadness

You cry in your car to and from your school or your job. You cry in your pillow at night when you go to bed.

It seems that no one will give you a chance. Therefore, you’re isolated and alone. When you try to make new friends, the bullies always seem to intervene.

They turn the new people against you too. The type of sadness you feel is the kind that is deep, dark, and overwhelming.

6. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Depression

Depression is the lowest point bullying can drive you to. Why? Because it comes from feelings of powerlessness. When you think that you have power over nothing, it’s as if your life has been set to autopilot.

Therefore, you feel like a leaf being blown around in the wind. This is the epitome of hell on earth. Why? Because it seems that there’s nothing you can do to change the situation. It’s the feeling of being bound and gagged.

Bullying makes you feel trapped like a rat. And there’s nowhere to go where the bullies won’t find you. Therefore, it seems that things will never get better.

When you’re depressed, you don’t fight back because you’re exhausted from all the bullying you’ve endured. Therefore, you resign yourself after so long.

After bullying has knocked you on your ass enough times, you want to give up. However, it’s not that you want to quit, you only want a break from the bullying.

Moreover, you want to feel some semblance of peace. You want to rest because you’re so damn tired!

7. Exhaustion.

Therefore, you lose the will to fight.

This is why bullies love picking on the depressed because they’re least likely to push back. Understand that when you’re depressed, they’ve already diminished you. Therefore, the bullies don’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

They’ve already accomplished that mission. Therefore, all the bullies have to do is keep you down. After all, it’s much easier to keep someone on their knees than it is to bring them to their knees.

In other words, it’s always easier to maintain something than it is to change it.

If this describes you, don’t lose hope! Know that things will get better and you will heal. You many need lots of therapy, but you can regain their confidence and feel good again.

Moreover, you can take your life back.

It won’t be easy. In fact, it will be hard, even exhausting at times, but will be worth it later. If you are battling depression brought about by bullying, or anything else, know that there are people who care. You are not alone and it’s okay to not be okay.

8. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

Rage

This is, by far, THE most powerful emotion you can have. With each physical or psychological attack, the fury grows.

Therefore, it festers until you just want to rip the bullies’ heads off and shove them up their butts. Oh, yes! Rage does that to you. It gives you such evil thoughts!

If you aren’t careful, the bullying can make you feel homicidal! In other words, you’ll loathe your bullies so intensely that you’ll just want them all to drop dead.

But please! Use your brain. Don’t allow yourself to snap and take any lives. Instead, think about your future. Moreover, think about the consequences you’d face.

The bullying you suffer will only last for a little while. Therefore, your bullies aren’t worth you ruining your future.

Also, they’re not worth the pain you’d cause the people who love you. Rest assured that, eventually, a door will open for you. And you will be able to transfer to a new school or job where things will be so much better.

9. Suicidal thoughts

It’s not that you want to die. You just want the torment to stop. Therefore, when the torture reaches a certain level, death seems to be the only escape.

These thoughts happen when you feel you’ve exhausted every possible option to make things better. However, don’t give up.

As long as you’re alive, there’s always a good chance that things will change. If you hang tough, things will get better and you’ll come out victorious on the other side of it.

I want you to know that if you suffer bullying, things may seem hopeless but they aren’t. Things are going to change for the better. And it will happen when you least expect them to.

10. Bullying and Psychological Effects:

shame

Bullying comes with a high level of shame. Bullies can ritually torment you to the point that you may begin viewing yourself through their eyes.

Toxic shame is, perhaps, the worst effect of bullying. Why? Because once you begin seeing yourself through the eyes of your abusers, that’s when you know you’ve hit rock bottom.

Your abusers’ contempt, disgust, and aversion toward you have rubbed off on you. Therefore, you began to hate yourself.

But I want you to understand that this is what your bullies want. They want you to hate yourself. Because the bullies know that once they finally get you to hate yourself, they’ve won.

Your bullies aren’t dimwitted. They know that you’ll submit to the abuse because when a person hates themselves, they think they deserve abuse.

When a target of bullying suffers from toxic shame, they accuse themselves of sins of which they aren’t guilty. They apologize incessantly over things that aren’t their fault. Ultimately, targets feel guilty for merely existing!

There, you must fight like the devil to keep your self-esteem and confidence. Educate yourself on the psychology of bullies and bullying. Then, you will have the knowledge to empower yourself.

11. You Grow Numb to the bullying

Some people endure bullying and gaslighting for so long they seem to grow accustomed to it. Therefore, they become emotionally numb.

This is one of the most heartbreaking effects of bullying. When the bullying has gone on for so long that the attacks don’t even hurt anymore. You may think you’ve finally toughened up.

However, here’s what’s really happening here. You’ve gotten so used to the torment that the more subtle attacks no longer sound cruel.

Now, some people think that targets are better off when they no longer realize they’re being bullied. But are they really?

In some instances, yes, and in others, no. If you don’t react because you don’t know to, some bullies will get bored with the lack of response and leave you alone.

But others will only bully you worse.

Either way, there comes a point when the target just says, “F it!” and doesn’t care anymore. To survive and keep your sanity, sometimes it becomes a necessity not to give a damn until you can find a way out.

The effects of bullying are no joke, and you shouldn’t take them lightly. So, be aware of your bullies’ mind games.

I can’t stress this enough! Things may seem utterly hopeless now, but it won’t always be this way. This is the time to dig in your heels and fight to maintain your self-esteem. Whatever you do, don’t give up!

Look to the future because you never know what tomorrow will bring! Things eventually improved for me. And they will for you, too.

You will likely need to leave the environment and move somewhere where you can start anew and reinvent yourself. But know that one day, you’ll finally live in peace.

This post was all about bullying and psychological effects so that you’ll recognize them and do what you must to keep your sanity and heal from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

2. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

Bullies Eat Their Own: 3 Reasons Bullies Bully within Their Group

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Would you believe that bullies usually eat their own? ‘Want to know why? Here are all the details you need to know about.

bullies eat their own

This happens at school and in the workplace. When there’s are no targets available to degrade and dehumanize, bullies will begin turning on one of their own in the peer group.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies eat their own so that you can use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this strange phenomenon, you will be more knowledgeable about the mentality of bullies. Also, you will find a way to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about why bullies eat their own so that you can have more knowledge about the mindsets of bullies.

Bullies Eat Their Own

Understand that even the inner circle of the clique has a pecking order. Every clique has a leader, second in command, third and so forth (depending on how many members in the group), all the way down to the bottom rat.

Therefore, if you aren’t available, the members of the clique will turn on that bottom rat and they will be the target of the day.

And if it so happens that the bottom rat’s not available either, then the poor sucker on the second rung up is the one who will catch hell. And so on.

Crap always rolls downhill and lands on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in the basement. Moreover, what was really scandalous is that sometimes, the typical victim didn’t have to be unavailable.

If you pay attention, you can stand back and watched a lot of back-biting between the members of the bully cliques. You’ll notice that a few may go out with the other friends’ boyfriends or girlfriends behind their backs.

You’ll then notice how they smile in their faces at school or work the following Monday. However, stay out of it. Let them backstab each other all they want.

It’s their business and you know that any sane person would no part of such strange, twisted, and dysfunctional friendships.

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Sometimes, not being a part of “the clique” is a blessing!

You should consider yourself damn lucky not to be in with the cool crowd!

Why? Because, with them it’s back to back ego trips. While most targets, followers, and wannabes consider it a curse, you should consider it a blessing.

You can deal with not being in the in-crowd, that’s fine and dandy. The only thing you should have an issue with is when none of those creeps will leave you alone.

When they won’t go on about their business, and get a life, you should realize that it’s because of their own issues.

Bullying is all about power!

Remember that bullies must always have a victim. In other words, they must have someone to abuse.

Bullies need a person to look down on, to dump on, and to tell what to do and ride roughshod over. Therefore, if their usual targets aren’t available on any given day, the bullies at the top will turn on the lowest members of their own group and continue demeaning them until their regular targets return.

This is yet another reason why you should never accept being in one of the in-cliques. Must you be in one to feel validated? No.

You’re just as awesome without them. You’re also freer! Because if you’re not in a clique, you don’t have to live up to anyone’s unwritten rules or standards. Therefore, you’re free to be yourself and do your own thing. And there is nothing better!

Why Bullies Eat Their Own

Bullies can’t live without a power rush. Therefore, again, they want to have a target or a victim. In fact, they need targets. To feel almighty and powerful, bullies must have people to dominate and subjugate.

And having power over is extremely addictive to them. It’s like a drug. It’s why bullies repeatedly bully their targets over a a long period of time, years even.

Because that “drug” wears off rather quickly and it won’t be long before your bullies come back for their next “fix.”

However, what happens when you finally realize who your bullies really are behind the tough facades they put up? What happens when the masks fall off, and your bullies’ cowardice and insecurity come to light?

Oooo! This is beginning to sound delicious, isn’t it?

Here’s what happens. Once you see the real people behind the masks, your confidence will get a big boost. You’ll realize that you aren’t and never were the one with the issues.

In this, you will find that it was the bullies who had the issues all along. Then, you will finally have the courage to give the bullies the old proverbial middle finger and tell them all to go eat a fat one.

The Sudden Power Shift

Moreover, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift and the scales will automatically tip in your favor. In other words, you will no longer be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower bullies is to empower yourself.

Because, once you stop being a victim, bullies no longer have power over you. Therefore, they must go search for another victim.

When these bullies spot several potential victims, they’ll test the waters by performing several tests on these “potentials.” They will test these potential targets by watching them closely and launching subtle attacks and insults just to see how they react.

However, what will the bullies do next, when things don’t go quite the way they expect? What happens when their potentials also give them the double middle finger?

Uh-oh, now they can’t find someone they can target! Curses! Now, what’s a poor bully to do? Simple. They begin eating their own. In other words, they turn on a member of their in-group.

That’s right! Once the bullying in-group runs out of targets on the outside, they have no choice but to turn their bullying inward and start bullying people within their group.

Remember that bullies need a target victim. They need someone to dominate and subjugate to have power because they can’t get power any other way.

Without someone to ride roughshod over, to tell what to do, and to exert control over, bullies feel powerless. And you know what? They are!

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Here are 3 reasons bullies bully within their in-group.

1. Power Struggle.

Bullies will fight like hell to be on top. And if that means bullying members of their own group to do it, don’t think they won’t.

It’s human nature. Everybody wants to be on top. And if they can’t, they’ll do everything they can to stay off the bottom.

Therefore, the top two or three bullies may do things to each other to get on top. Or they may take turns bullying the bottom rats to compete with one another on who’s the toughest.

2. Their primary victim isn’t available.

When their usual victim is no longer available, bullies must search far and wide to find a replacement. In other words, when a victim finally leaves the toxic environment, it puts bullies right back to square one.

Therefore, again, they must find someone else to be their victim. And if they can’t find one, they’ll turn on one of the members of their in-group.

Understand that once a victim leaves, the bullies’ power goes with them. Without power, bullies don’t know what to do with themselves.

Here’s another thing to note. Bullies often become very angry when their target victim transfers or moves away. Why? You may wonder.

Again, it’s because they lose power over you. Understand that, bullies have a sick, twisted obsession with their victims. Therefore, if bullies have grown comfortable with jerking you around and you up and leave, the game is over. They lose power over you.

You’re out of their reach and they can’t handle it.

It’s why abusive partners won’t let their victims leave. Once the abused partner is gone, so is the power the abuser had over them. It’s the same with bullies.

And it’s the reason the thought of you leaving terrifies them.

3. Bullies Eat Their Own:

The victim pool is sparse or has shrunken.

I’ve said it many times before. Bullies don’t only want victims. They need them! Therefore, if the victim pool is non-existent, they will create victims for themselves. And this usually requires that they select someone in their friend group.

Once the selected victim leaves, it basically turns the entire environment on it’s ear. People will begin turning on each other and there will be a lot of in-fighting.

So, see this for what it is. Bullying is an obsession. It’s all about having power over someone else.

This post is all about the reasons bullies eat their own to give you another reason to feel good if you’re a victim of bullying and finally decide to get the hell out of dodge.

1. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

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If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

encouraging words for bullying

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. Don’t give up hope! The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

psychological abuse tactics examples

Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

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‘Want to know the psychological abuse tactics most preferred by seasoned bullies. Here are all the psychological methods of expert bullying you need to know about.

psychological abuse tactics

Psychological abuse isn’t visible to the eyes. Therefore, it’s more difficult to provide evidence of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common psychological abuse tactics bullies use so that you can easily spot it, call it by name and describe it to protect yourself from further bullying.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be better to see it as it happens and defend yourself against it.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can avoid it and keep yourself safe from it.

Psychological Abuse Tactics

Seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying over physical bullying. Why? Because this type of bullying offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to any bystanders and witnesses. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

In fact, it can be so subtle that even you, the victim, may not realize it’s happening. Therefore, you’ll never be able to prove that anyone ever bullied you.

Moreover, when you finally get fed up with their crap and report them to the higher-ups, it will be easier for the bullies to deny it. Also, if you stand up to the bullies, they’ll be able to play victim and make you look like the bad guy.

What are the mind games these bullies use?

1. Playing the victim.

Bullies will deliberately instigate an altercation. If you defend yourself, they’ll take your defense and twist it to make you look like the bully.

If the bully is female, she may cry those fake tears to garner sympathy. Consequently, if others aren’t wise to her, they’ll fall for her lies and blame you.

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Weaponizing mental health.

Also, they can use your reaction to their abuse to brand you as mentally unstable. With this tactic, bullies can easily destroy your credibility and reputation.

As a result, your relationships will likely suffer. Even worse, your bullies may then retaliate against you by escalating the harassment later.

3. quiet bullying.

Quiet bullying is bullying by dirty looks and using the silent treatment. Moreover, a quiet bully will use exclusion to bully you.

In the workplace, quiet bullying can happen through micro-managing. Also, a quiet workplace bully can assign impossible workloads and deadlines to a targeted employee.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards. Also, they’re the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment which are well-planned in advance.

4. Subtle Bullying Disguised as concern.

Subtle bullying can also come in the form of glares and the silent treatment. They also use soft smear campaigns.

A soft smear campaign is disguised as concern for your well being. For example, the bully may say something like, “Bless her heart. I’m really concerned about Kathy. I hope she gets the profession help she needs before it’s too late.”

And when you defend yourself against it, the bully can use your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged.

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Subtle bullying disguised as jokes.

Also, subtle bullying can disguise itself as jokes and fun. When you respond to this type of bullying, your bullies will make it look as if you can’t take a joke.

Therefore, understand that these bullies go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty. And they commit their attacks ever so slowly and subtly.

Moreover, they will bully undercover and hide behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

6. Weaponizing their social status.

These type of bullies are often in the popular crowd at school. You’ll also find them in the Good Ole’ Boy clique at work.

These bullies are often able to climb up the social ladder because of their superior social skills.  Also, they have the ability to read people and predict others’ reactions.

To top it off, they have a talent for keeping up appearances.

Therefore, they’re usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers and CEOs. Also, many of them excel in studies and join clubs or sororities/fraternities at school.

Workplace bullies often make themselves out to be high performers at work. How do they do this? They do it by stealing over people’s ideas and taking credit for their work.

These bullies use their popularity as a shield from accountability. Moreover, their extreme likability adds a lot of weight to their words. This is why they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, these bullies likely come from families who have powerful local connections. This is all the more reason these people keep up appearances.

Psychological abuse Tactics:

Bullies with social status may use minions to do their dirty work for them.

Understand that these bullies likely have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty. Therefore, if they want to cause you any physical harm, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them.

Moreover, they will often these minions incentives to get the job done. They may offer them money and social status. Or they may offer them special favors.

Afterward, the followers will have served their purpose. Therefore, the bullies will likely discard them like a used piece of toilet paper.

However understand that most of their followers don’t really like them. Most will only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them. They may hope to get a little bit of power and social status.

7. Using their talent with words.

Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths. Therefore, they’re convincing liars and have the right answer for everything.

They’re good at rationalizing their behavior and justifying their actions. Moreover, these bullies are good at conjuring up a good story. So, they’re great storytellers. You’d think some of them would’ve chosen a career in writing.

8. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Using their social skills to bully those who aren’t as fortunate.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will use their superb social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled. For instance, they may taunt kids with Down’s Syndrome.

They may make fun of students with Cerebral Palsy or Traumatic Brain Injury.  And they’ll push around those with physical ailments, such as Diabetes, heart defects and food allergies.

Even sadder, they may quietly bully people who are paraplegic. However, they won’t be obvious when they bully these people. Why? Because others tend to look down on those who bully those in wheelchairs.

People with weight issues, those with low self-esteem, or those with smaller builds are also fair game to these types of bullies.

Again, psychological bullies are such sniveling cowards. Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable people to push around in the first place.

9. Gaslighting

Bullies gaslight you to brainwash you into believing that you’re losing your mind. Gaslighting always starts out subtle. However, it gradually gets more obvious over time.

Understand that the reason bullies gaslight you is to maintain their power over you. They know that once you get beyond their control, you’re likely to talk about their abuse and expose them for the monsters they are. And they can’t have that!

The term, “gaslighting,” comes from the movie, “Gaslight.” The movie is about a married couple. The husband dims the gaslights, then denies it in a way to make his wife think she’s going cuckoo.

This is why gaslighting is one of the most evil types of abuse.

Psychological Abuse tactics:

Understand that these types of bullies are the most cowardly of all.

Why? Because most of the abuse they dish out is strictly psychological. Moreover, they use these kinds of tactics because they’re afraid that someone just might stand up to them.

These bullies just might run up on somebody who will put them in their place. Even worse, they might do it publicly! 

In conclusion:

Sadly, you may have to go to school or work with these types of people. Therefore, there is no way to avoid them or to go no-contact.

 The best you can do is to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps. Also, you must learn their weaknesses so that you can find a way to expose them for the creeps they are.

This requires getting into the minds of these bullies. To properly defend yourself, you must think as they do, even though it’s not a pleasant place to be. And I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

However, sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are. Then, they’re more likely to back the hell off.

The more you know, the more you’’ll prepare and the better you’ll protect yourself from such people.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can recognize them and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims