Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

March 31, 2025March 21, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully. However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

March 29, 2025March 22, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know how to stop saying sorry too much so that you can finally overcome bullying and abuse?

Is saying sorry too much making you seem like a doormat to the people around you? If so, you’re probably wondering why you do it and how to kick this self-sabotaging habit.

As someone who’s made that mistake and corrected it, I’m giving you the reasons why you do it and tips on how to stop it and re-empower yourself.

Therefore, in this post you will learn all the possible reasons why you’re in the habit of saying sorry too much and how you can drop this bad habit.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will know why you do it by seeing which reason applies to you. Moreover, you’ll be compelled to stop it so that you can reclaim your power.

This post is all about saying sorry too much, why you do it, why it sets you up for bullying, and what you can do to change it.

Saying Sorry Too Much

Saying that you’re sorry can be a good thing when you know for a fact that you’ve wronged someone. Moreover, it shows the person you’ve trespassed against that you regret whatever you’ve done to them.

When expressed genuinely, telling someone you’re sorry can help the other person to heal. Then, you both can begin to rebuild the trust that was lost and move onto a better and more rewarding relationship.

Moreover, this goes whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or familial kinship.

However, victims of bullying over-apologize as a trauma response and survival mechanism to keep from getting hurt. Even worse, they apologize to the wrong people… mainly bullies.

However, if you do this, your bullies will only throw it back at you. Why? Because they know that your apology is a trauma response.

It isn’t heartfelt. You’re only trying to keep them from harming you again. Granted, there’s nothing wrong with it. In fact, it’s a typical response when you’re being bullied and only trying to survive day to day.

However, this does one of either two things. It gives the bullies a rush of power or makes them angrier and more determined to hurt you.

So, why do you apologize so much?

1. For Survival and self-preservation.

Many targets and victims of bullying over apologize for self-preservation and as a way to survive. Bullying can cause trauma. Therefore, the knee-jerk response of most victims is to over apologize.

If you fall into this category, know that the reason you do this is to avoid further bullying and abuse. The fear is such that you apologize for things that aren’t your fault. Moreover, you may do it for things that are beyond your control.

2. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You Have Low Self-Esteem.

Low self-esteem can also prompt you to over-apologize. Why? Because others, particularly bullies and abusers have brainwashed you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is your fault.

Also, you may think you must over-apologize to make people like you.

Moreover, you may feel you must apologize for things that do not warrant an apology. Your prevailing thought is, “tell them I’m sorry. Tell them anything they want to hear, and they’ll like me.

However, this usually only gets you the opposite results. Bullies see weakness in any apology but especially in over apologizing. Therefore, they will exploit it and bully you worse with it.

But even if it does save you from being brutalized, it will eat away at your self-esteem.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to understand that not everything that happens is your burden to carry.

You may even over-apologize during conversations. Why? Because, subconsciously, you believe your thoughts and questions aren’t worthy of consideration.

However, you must realize that questions and thoughts are understandable. Why? Because they are things that you learn and grow from.

Therefore, your voice matters just as much as anyone else’s. You must realize that you are just as important as the next person.

3. You fear judgment and rejection.

In other words, you apologize for approval and acceptance. However, you must realize that some people will never accept you no matter what you do. More importantly, you must be okay with it.

Begin putting yourself first and apologizing only when it’s absolutely necessary. Only then will your bullies and fake friends slowly begin to disappear.

Moreover, you will attract the right people into your life and make true friends.

4. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You do it out of fear of abandonment.

You might do it out of fear of abandonment when you since distance between yourself and someone you love. People who have been hurt by past lovers have a tendency to overdo it on the I’m-sorries.

Why? Because they have internalized that hurt.

You’ll say “I’m such a jerk, I’m sorry.” Or, you might say, “I’m didn’t mean to say that thing that made you angry. What I said didn’t come out right.”

You’ll say anything just to keep the person from cutting friendship ties, or breaking off the relationship.

Just to keep someone who isn’t worthy of you in your life!

However, this won’t work for long. It may for the time being. You may, in fact, lessen the danger of the person leaving… but only for now.

You may get rid of any immediate threats of abandonment. The person may hang around a little longer. But they’ll only do it out of pity!

Yuck! Do you really want someone to stick around because they feel sorry for you? Ewww!

Stop with the appeasement!

Therefore, you must stop compromising yourself. Stop degrading and humiliating yourself and start respecting yourself.

Because if you have to suppress yourself just to keep someone around, then that person doesn’t deserve you. If you have to appease someone and consistently apologize for being who you are, then they aren’t worth a nano-second of your time.

Stop apologizing just to appease people. Because, believe me, they see right through that and they will either take advantage of it or lose respect for you.

You must recognize these knee-jerk apologies as an automatic trauma-response. In other words, your CNS registers a potential fight, conflict, or distance as the threat of danger.

Moreover, your bullied mind pulls the proverbial alarm and you respond out of trauma in order to mitigate the perceived danger.

What happens when you have the habit of saying sorry too much

1. You Accept blame for things that you can’t control.

I understand that over-apologizing is something you learned to survive bullying and abuse. However, you only blame yourself for things you aren’t guilty of.

Moreover, you accept blame you do not deserve. You blame yourself for things that go wrong, even if it’s something you cannot control.

In other words, you give yourself a hard time and take responsibility for everything that goes wrong, even if it’s beyond their control.

2. You Set Yourself up to be a scapegoat.

Put another way, you set up the dynamic in your friendships and relationships where there is a power imbalance. Bullies, abusers, and other unsavory types of people can take advantage of your consistent blaming yourself and weaponize it against you.

Often, this is how bullying and abuse tends to repeat itself over and over as you get older. There are a lot of evil and lowdown people out there. Therefore, they’ll notice that you’re always apologizing for things that aren’t your fault.

As a result, they will use it to take advantage of you. This is why you continue to get bullied and abused by new bullies and abusers.

Human predators are like man-eating sharks. They see the blood in the water. In other words, predators will go after the animal in the herd who is wounded. Bullies are the same way.

This is why you should stop for a moment and do an assessment. Ask yourself, “Have I really done something wrong?”

3. Saying Sorry Too Much:

You give others the impression that you’re Trouble.

In other words, you only make others around you believe that you really are in the wrong when, in fact, the bullies are the guilty ones. Therefore, you only make it so much easier for your bullies to shirk responsibility for their evil deeds.

It gives the bullies the impression that they have power and control over you and that you will always surrender to them.

4. People lose respect for you.

Even worse, people lose respect for you because you display a lack of confidence. This gives bullies the okay to continue bullying you.

Moreover, you unknowingly decrease your value and look pathetic. You send the unspoken message that you’d rather be agreeable than honest.

5. You cheapen the value of your apologies.

Whenever a situation arises that warrants a sincere apology, others will only take your apology with a grain of salt.

Saying Sorry Too Much:

In Conclusion:

Instead, reserve your apologies only for when a situation warrants one.

When you refuse to apologize where an apology isn’t needed, it’s a sign of greater self-esteem and increased feelings of power. It also shows that you have more dignity and integrity.

It pays to know when you should and shouldn’t apologize.

And for Pete’s sake! Never apologize for feeling hurt or angry at someone else’s abuse! Never! Moreover, don’t apologize for setting boundaries. You have every right to do so.

In these situations, you have a right to feel the way you do! Let no one tell you how you should feel when you’re being treated unfairly!

In other words, apologize only when you should. Not when others think you should.

Never Apologize to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

You should never apologize to a bully or an abuser. They aren’t worthy of your remorse or your apology. There’s nothing wrong with defending yourself when you need to.

Also, know that it’s perfectly okay to express your wants and needs. Remember that you are just as good as the next person. Understand that you aren’t obligated to apologize for being who you are.

Moreover, there’s nothing you need to be sorry for. Understand that each person is different and we all have our own thoughts, opinions, beliefs, and convictions. It’s a part of life.

Understand this. When people are bullying and abusing you, you have every right to be angry. You have every right to cry, to scream, to yell, and to tell them all to go pound sand.

Never be sorry for your emotions nor your responses to abuse.

This post was all about Why you get stuck saying sorry too much, the results, and Why you should only reserve an apology for a situation that warrants one.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Over Apologizing Trauma Response: 9 Easy Ways to Overcome It

2. No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

3. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

4. What to Say Instead of Sorry: 5 Powerful Responses

5. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

March 27, 2025March 11, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know about all the ways bullies respond when you begin speaking out about bullying? Here are all the truths you need to know about.

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

However, you can’t bite your tongue forever. Therefore, in this post you will learn what to expect once you begin speaking up about bullying.

Once you learn all these possible responses your bullies will make, you will be better prepared to confidently address it.

This post is all about speaking up about bullying so that you’ll be prepared for your bullies’ reactions and to deal with it bravely and confidently.

Speaking up about bullying

Make your voice heard when the bullying first begins.

Why? Because it will eventually come spewing out. After a while, you will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano.

For instance, you’re calm, and people see your calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back you are. Therefore, they presume that if they keep violating your boundaries, there will be no consequences.

The bullying always starts subtly at first- so subtly that you don’t even notice you’re being abused.

Over several months, the bullying slowly escalates until you finally snap and show your ugly side. However, when you respond to the bullies and their audience in kind, people only use your perfectly justified human reaction to demonize you. Therefore, they make it look as if you’re mentally unstable.

But, why do they do this?

It’s because you didn’t address the bullying when it first began. In other words, you didn’t stand up for yourself in the early stages.

As a result, your bullies and everyone else have grown comfortable with abusing you. Moreover, once people become comfortable with any routine, it’s almost impossible to stop them no matter how you defend yourself.

By then, the bullying has become iron clad and taken a life of it’s own. Therefore, it’s too late to do anything.

Again, this is why you must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and deems you the bad guy!

Therefore, I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

Speaking up about bullying:

Why victims stay silent

It’s because they can’t name what’s happening to them. Sure, they can feel it and see it. However, they can’t put an actual name on it because they don’t know the names of the tactics and how to describe what’s happening.

Being able to put a name on the abusive tactics takes a lot of research and study on abuse. Why? Because bullying is abuse and abuse is bullying.

Both bullying and abuse involve a power imbalance and repeated behavior. Therefore, they’re one and the same.

Why you Should learn to name each bullying tactic

The reason why we should know the names of the tactics is this. When there’s no label to put on it, it’s much harder to explain to others. Moreover, when you can’t name something, you tend to ramble.

And because you ramble about it, people are less likely to believe you when you speak out.

There’s nothing more frustrating than to know something is happening and not know how to name it. It’s as if you have an invisible gag over your mouth. Moreover, it feels like some higher force is trying to silence you and protect your bullies and abusers.

It’s the most frustrating and downright infuriating thing in the world!

Speaking up about bullying:

The Term, “Gaslighting.”

For example, let’s use the term “gaslighting.”

Even today, many people have never heard of gaslighting. Therefore, they don’t know the proper name of the emotional manipulations they may be facing.

In other words, they don’t know that it’s called, gaslighting. All they know is that what others are doing to them feels horrible. Moreover, it leaves them feeling that, somehow, they’re always in the wrong.

Therefore, they don’t know how to fix it because they don’t know what’s broken.

Yet, in the innermost parts of their soul, they know differently. Inside, they know they’re not always wrong. However, because they can’t put a name to it, these people can’t describe what was happening to them.

Therefore, it’s much harder for them to speak out without rambling and looking like they have a mental disorder.

Learning all you can about bullying is crucial.

With that said, it’s important that you read, study, and research everything you can about bullying. Moreover, find out and study the key terms for each bullying tactic.

In fact, learn all you can the names as well as the descriptions of each tactic. Why? Because, once you do, you will be able to effectively speak out about the bullying and abuse you suffer. Also, you will be able to more effectively counter the abuse.

Realize that if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will expect you not to open your mouth about the abuse. Moreover, even bystanders and authority will want you to stay silent. Why? Because, in most cases, they will automatically side with the bullies.

However, it still doesn’t mean you must be quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives on silence and standing up for yourself is paramount.

Understand that speaking up shows strength and bravery. And know that you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, when you break your silence, you must be prepared for the following responses bullies and others will give.

Speaking Up about Bullying:

8 Responses to Expect from Your Bullies and Possibly, Everyone Else.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

See this response for what it is – a classic gaslighting statement.

Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you. Moreover, they’re trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it.

Those who respond this way may be friends or followers of the bullies. Or, maybe they have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company.

It could be that these people see your bullies as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” Also, the bullies may be family members or close friends of these gaslighters.

However, don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. This is how you set boundaries.

Understand that things usually get worse before they get better but they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.”

This is another classic but worn out response. However, ignoring them never works.

Realize that bullies will only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Also, they may mistake your ignoring them for fear.

And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully.

This isn’t necessarily a bad response. However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

When people tell you to ignore the bully, you must understand what they’re really trying to say. And what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep speaking out. It’s how you set boundaries and setting boundaries is crucial in bullying situations.

3. Speaking Up about Bullying:

“Toughen up.”

Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. And really, they’re not wrong. Protecting yourself against bullying IS your responsibility because chances are, no one will help you.

However, by telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you. Also, they don’t stop to think that, when they tell anyone to toughen up, they’d better be prepared to break up a fight.

Why? Because that’s your green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off.

Then when they try to reprimand you for defending yourself, you can then use it as leverage. You can say, “Well? You told me to toughen up, so I did!

Therefore, you should do that!

Or, you can respond by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

People do this to invalidate your experiences with bullying and your thoughts and feelings about it. Therefore, you should respond by saying, “No. You need to get over your denial that bullying happens here.”

Or, if it’s one of your bullies who tells you this, you can respond by saying something to the tune of, “No, you need to get over your assholery and your need for control! I’m not taking this crap anymore!”

5. Speaking Up About Bullying:

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Bullies and their flying monkeys give this response to shame you into silence. Don’t let them do that. Tell the bully that they’re the crybaby because they’re afraid of being exposed.

Or, you can tell them that if they keep it up, you’re likely to make a crybaby out of them.

Whatever you do, don’t let it slide. Don’t react, but do respond.

6. “Stop whining.”

Again, this is another attempt to shame you into shutting your mouth. Therefore, come up with a response to counter this.

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

This is, yet, another attempt to shame you. Therefore, respond accordingly.

8. “Maybe you should just stay out of their way.”

Understand this. You don’t have to tip-toe around anyone. Neither must you bite your tongue to appease bullies. And …you shouldn’t! Therefore, again, respond accordingly. Never take the blame for someone else’s bad behavior! Ever!

Speaking Up About Bullying:

In conclusion:

All of the above, so-called nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy.

Therefore, if you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue and escalate.

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse. Moreover, there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t!

You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

So, keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down. Therefore, dig your heels in and speak louder! Why? Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

Keep speaking about it and setting boundaries!

It may get worse before it gets better. However, things will improve in the long run, it you continue to speak against the bullying.

And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.

This post was all about speaking up about bullying, the gaslighting you should expect, and how to stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

March 25, 2025March 19, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know why bullying goes unpunished? Also, do you want to know why you should stand up for yourself? Here’s everything on this subject you need to know about.

It’s not only about punishing bullies. It’s more about teaching victims to stand up for themselves. Granted, yes, we must expose bullies and make them take responsibility. That, we can all agree on.

Bullies may be punished and severely so. However, there’s no guarantee they’ll will learn from it and leave you alone. In fact, it almost never works. Why? Because in most situations, when a bully is caught and held responsible, it only further angers the bully.

Moreover, it makes them that much more vindictive and determined to retaliate against you later.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullying goes unpunished. Also, you will learn why it’s up to you to stand up to them and take back your power.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prompted to begin defending yourself and take your life back.

This post is about why bullying goes unpunished and why you should stand up to them and take care of yourself.

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished

All too often, schools and workplaces ignore reports of bullying and won’t protect you. This happens more than we know.

In other words, people in power ignore you when you report that you’re being bullied. Moreover, they may re-victimize you be trivializing your experiences or worse, blame you for the bullying.

They may ask you what you did to make the bullies act out. This is the worst thing authority members do.

Therefore, you must realize that most workplaces and schools only sweep bullying under the rug. It happens all the time. Therefore, if people bully you, chances are slim to none that others will help you.

Here’s the sad truth about people, in general. If it isn’t happening to them or someone they care about, in most cases, they don’t care. It’s just the cold, hard truth we need to accept.

Here’s why most managers and school officials won’t punish bullying. And why it’s up to you to defend yourself.

1. The Bullies are in positions of power.

In other words, the bully could be a teacher, principal, supervisor, manager, or even law enforcement. If the bully is a kid in school, they may have a parent or family member in a position of power.

Anytime the bully is in a powerful place, it often takes an act of congress to hold them responsible for any damages.

Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to them. And how you stand up to bullies in power is to set boundaries. Also, document every bullying incidence in detail.

Therefore, you must defend yourself even against bullies who are in power. It’s easier said than done, yes. However, it’s about self-preservation and you have a right to defend yourself when someone crosses your boundaries.

2. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

Staff is lazy.

Investigations take work. Therefore, most school officials or HR employees don’t want to take the extra effort.

They may take the easy way out by denying that bullying happens in their school or company. Moreover, they may accuse you of perpetuating the bullying.

If it’s a case of school bullying and your parents get involved, the school may label your parent as “that parent.” However, you must understand that this is a cop-out.

Again, defend yourself. Continue to set boundaries. And always document every incidence of bullying.

3. School Staff may be afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Most bullies learn bullying behavior at home. Many bullies learn by watching their parents bully other adults. Understand that many of these parents are self-entitled. Many hold high positions and think this gives them carte blanche to bully other people.

And they will bully teachers and school staff if they have the audacity to hold their little darlings accountable for bad behavior.

Moreover, bullies may also know powerful political connections in town. They may also be a member of the school board. Therefore, they have made the school staff fully aware that disciplining “the wrong kids” could get them booted out of their jobs and entire careers.

Again, self-preservation. Write everything down! Document! And if your bullies get physical, put up your dukes and defend yourself!

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

People are afraid for the company’s or school’s reputation.

Schools are notorious for trying to hide cases of bullying. Why? Because they prioritize their reputation over the well being of the children and teens.

Companies are the same way. They usually ignore you, while keeping the bully informed that you’ve ratted on them. Therefore, again, if you report that people are bullying you, don’t expect them to help you.

Most institutions know good and well when someone is bullied. However, they may consider them a threat. In worse cases, they may ostracize or try to silence the person.

Moreover, those who are bullied have less power then others. So, it’s much easier for them to ignore the bullying and pretend that there isn’t a problem.

This is why it’s so important to document and do your own investigation. Never expect anyone else to do the investigation for you.

5. They either don’t like you or they hate you.

Sadly, many people have negative attitudes about the bullied and abused. Although these are people who are in positions to help you, they don’t. Instead, they allow their personal feelings override their humanity.

Moreover, bullies are notorious for spreading many lies and ugly rumors about you. Bullying and defamation go hand in hand. And once they destroy your reputation, your chances of getting help drop significantly.

Why? Because those in power hear the lies and rumors as well. Therefore, they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard. Also, they may be afraid that helping you would cause them to lose their high positions.

Additionally, those in power, may even join in on the bullying. You may be one of the most goodhearted people around. But in most cases of bullying, the rumors and lies supersede the truth about you.

Therefore, in the minds of everyone around you, you’re “trouble.”

Understand that lies and rumors are powerful. They’re so powerful that they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion.

Moreover, bullying makes you a nervous wreck. Therefore, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress bullying causes.

I can’t stress this enough. Defend yourself. Do your own investigation. Document everything so that you’ll have a record of patterns of bullying.

6. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words, because of chronic bullying, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies may have slyly used your reaction as proof that you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, other may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be some reason that justifies it. They may say, “Well, if you aren’t provoking it somehow, then why do so many people hate you?

Therefore, they believe you must somehow deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when someone in power does not like you, they may either refuse to help you. In worst cases, they may secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

Therefore, realize that those in authority are just as capable as the bullies of hating and hurting those they deem undesirable. In fact, because of the powerful positions they hold, they’re more capable of it.

Again, document everything! Keep a personal record of everything that happens just in case you have a tribunal or take it to court.

7. The bullies are High Performers.

They may be athletes, cheerleaders and high academic achievers. Moreover, they may be candidates for college and schools strive to crank out college-bound students.

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

It’s the same with companies. If workplace bullies excel in job-performance, they make the company lots of money. Therefore, it will be difficult to report them and convince the higher-ups to hold them accountable.

If anything, they’ll only blame you and label you the troublemaker. Why? Because, in reporting their best students or employees, you’re putting the entire school or company at risk of losing out.

This is how they’ll look at it. Therefore, document!

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

What you can do if you’re the victim of bullying

When authority does nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Therefore, document each incidence of bullying when you get home. Moreover, do it while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to work or school. Bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Also, you can wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

And you know that bullies will never allow you to record them. This goes without saying. Moreover, if you do record them and the laws in your area don’t allow it, your bullies will pounce on the opportunity to sue you.

Therefore, it’s best that you only document the bullying. However, there’s another way you can gather proof. And that is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments your bullies may leave on your social media pages.

Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board, company tribunal, or to court.

In Conclusion:

Too many people have been conditioned to believe that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t. It’s essential for self-preservation and everyone has a right to it.

Therefore, we must stop depending on school staff, company managers and politicians to come rescue us when bullies run amuck. You must realize that people in power won’t help you. Why? Because, unfortunately, bullies run much of the world.

So, again, you must stop depending on a rescuer because no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself. You must learn to protect yourself against bullies. At the end of the day, your safety and your dignity are your responsibility, no one else’s.

You have a right to defend yourself. You have a right to take care of yourself. So, begin doing it today!

This post was all about why bullying goes unpunished so that you can start protecting yourself against bullying and take responsibility for your own safety and well-being! You can do it! I believe in you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

March 24, 2025March 23, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of a smear campaign? Here are the signs of relational bullying that you need to know about.

Smear campaigns have ruined the lives of many innocent people, especially targets of bullying.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the signs of a smear campaign so that you’ll be able to recognize one and call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prepared and better able to protect yourself against anyone who tries to smear your good name.

This post is all about the signs of a smear campaign to train you to recognize it and overcome any attempts to ruin your reputation.

Signs of a Smear Campaign

It always starts subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

If enough people do, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. Consequently, there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

If you’re a target of bullies, expect them to try to ruin you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that with everything they carefully put together, the lie they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

The bullies start by suggesting that you would be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good.

Additionally, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there.

1. Gossip

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Gossip has 6 purposes.

To control your social status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.
To justify any punishment others may give you.
Tightening group connections.
To give higher social status to those who are privy to the negative information.
To set expectations and norms in the group on how they should treat you.
Establish, maintain, or change the social infrastructure.

Gossip justifies bullying and abuse by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve any humanity. Therefore, instead of giving you respect or dignity, others only inflict abuse and hostility.

And once people think you deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social hierarchies. Moreover, gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

Therefore, with the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility. No one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Therefore, realize that all the gossip serves to provide bullies reaffirmations. And those reaffirmations are that their perceptions of you are correct, that you deserve abuse.

People may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any new information and updates about you.

Signs of a smear campaign:

How Gossips Cover Their Behavior

Gossips will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt by beginning their sentences with things like,

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
“Poor thing…”
“Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that the target is a human being. However, they’ll only do it because this gives them the green light to go on talking. Moreover, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

It’s true that reputation doesn’t equal character. However, it can effect your life.

Therefore, understand that the rumors may, in fact, be false. Also, there may be zero credible evidence to back them up. But if pure speculation best fits the bullies’ goals, that’s what they will go along with.

What happens in the late stages of gossip?

In the late stages of gossip, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators. Gossip brings scandal. In other words, it assassinates your character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a human being.

Anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated. Therefore, this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if you attempt to defend yourself or speak out against the abuse, everyone else will use it against you.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for you to ensure safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment. Therefore, you must go to a new place where you can start anew and reinvent yourself.

Signs of a smear campaign:

The character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me.”

‘Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me?” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Do you remember the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy? He was telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal. However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, stuff like this happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Rumors

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories. Moreover, these details have ways of being inserted into people’s memories.

For example, there have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun. Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose.

They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. In fact, they actually “remember” seeing it.

Moreover, the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much their brains filled in the blanks with the details based on what they heard.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

False Memories

Bullies ask questions such as,

“Did you see her do this?”
“Did you hear him say that?”

Realize that, when they ask these questions, they only suggest that she did do this, or he did say that. It’s the Power of Suggestion at work.

Therefore, it’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations. People see what they expect to see.

Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations- what they expect the target to do and not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistakable and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to realize that this does happen and that you must make preparations accordingly to protect yourself better.

3. People may suddenly begin avoiding you or bullying you.

In the beginning, you may have friends and be very well-liked. Moreover, these friends may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what they told you.” Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy- even things that never happened.

Also, as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be any more wrong!

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Even your friends may turn their backs on you.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you may also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

Moreover, they’ll say that you put on a front. They’ll tell others that you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

People will make your past accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. On the other hand, they will maximize your mistakes and failures. They’ll even add on many more mistakes you didn’t make.

In short, they’ll begin rewriting your history.

Even if others see with their own eyes evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they won’t believe it. They’ll only react by claiming that you’re only a smooth-talker who’s darn good at using fake charm to manipulate others.

After your friends turn against you, they’ll deny they ever liked you to begin with.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? Your former friends will claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear that they were only kind to you because they were afraid of you.

They can tell others they felt sorry for you, or that you smooth-talked and conned them.

Also, your former friends will tell others, “who you really are.” Also, they’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

If they ever agreed with you about your bullies, they only did so because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. In other words, your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they’ll claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once they’ve made up their minds, there’s no changing them.

In cases like these, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether. Moreover, it’s best that you never look back. You don’t want to ever have anything to do with any of these people again.

Therefore, you owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

This post was all about signs of a smear campaign so that you can recognize it and be better prepared.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

practicing self-care when people bully you at work

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

March 21, 2025March 15, 202533 Comments

‘Want to know how to go about practicing self-care when people bully you? Here are awesome ways to give yourself compassion when you’re being bullied.

If you don’t start looking out for number one, you’ll only continue coming in last! I cannot stress this enough. It’s not selfish to make yourself second to only God. Especially around bullies and people who don’t value you.

Now, don’t get me wrong. If you’re a parent raising children, or you have an ailing mother who depends on you, it’s only natural that you would put your family ahead of yourself- that’s a given. We all have an obligation to our families.

It’s also a given (or should be) that you always put God ahead of everyone else, including yourself. Again, that’s completely understandable, and more than that, it’s expected.

But when you’re in a toxic environment, around people who want to use and take you for granted, understand that you are top priority and to hell with them if they don’t like it.

Therefore, in this post you will learn the 10 ways in practicing self-care when people bully you.

Once you learn all these important tips, you’ll have the tools to show yourself compassion and feel better about yourself.

This post is all about practicing self-care when people bully you so that you can begin putting yourself first and begin to take back your peace.

Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Understand that when you’re being bullied in school or the workplace, the only person you have is you! Therefore, be good to yourself. How do you do this?

1. Set firm boundaries

Setting boundaries means saying no. And when you say it, say it early-on and often! Moreover, it means confidently calling out any disrespect. Then, walking away from the disrespectful drama starter without looking back. And this goes even if it’s someone you love and care about.

You have to look out for number one, because, if you don’t, no one else will. In fact, they just might use you as a rug.

So, protect your peace no matter what.

2. Keep in your mind that self-care isn’t selfish.

Self-care isn’t selfish, it’s crucial!

Many people may have conditioned you to think that putting yourself first is selfish. Those people may have called you self-centered for it. Maybe you were raised being told that self-centeredness is a huge turnoff to others. In many cases, that’s true.

Bullies and abusers also tell you this. However, they only say these things to shame you into staying around and silently taking their abuse. Therefore, you must pay attention to context and know when people are gaslighting you with this statement.

There’s a difference in practicing self-care and being self-centered.

Self-centeredness comes with self-entitlement. It involves stepping on the rights of other people and not caring how they feel. It is the root of bullying and abuse.
Self-care, on the other hand, means taking care of yourself without walking on others’ rights. In other words, it means that you know you’re no better than anyone else, but just as good as the next person. It means you know your rights and you’re not afraid to stand up for those rights.

You practice self-care because you hold yourself in high regard. Moreover, you treat yourself like the family member or friend that you dearly love.

It’s funny how quick bullies are to call you self-centered when you stand up to their abuse. Therefore, see it as a part of the bully’s playbook.

Therefore, if you have bullies and abusers who abuse you, always know that if they accuse you of anything- anything at all, you can bet that they are doing it themselves.

So, continue to look out for number one, even if you must find a way to do it on the sly. Don’t you think you’re worth it?

3. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You

Self-Care May Mean Making Heartbreaking Decisions

Once you choose not to be a target anymore, you may have to make very tough decisions. You will more than likely have to weed certain people out of your life for good.

Moreover, some of those people may even be people you love very much.

You can still love them, ‘nothing wrong with it. However, as much as you may love them, they are not always healthy for you to be around.

It’s a decision many have to make with toxic family members. And it’s very excruciating for them. Why? Because, when someone has to stop talking to a family member, they miss them very much.

In fact, they mourn the person deeply. Even after all the cutting remarks, that family member may have made or the abuse they inflict, the victim still mourns them. It’s akin to having a death in the family.

There’s no pain like mourning someone who’s still alive.

However, you still must cut the person off if they continue to disrupt your peace. It’s the only way you’ll be able to heal and rebuild your life.

If you’re going through something similar, don’t lose heart. Your relationship with your estranged loved one is still repairable. Some stories do have happy endings.

There’s always a chance you’ll be closer than ever later on! Sometimes, it takes a separation to bring people closer. Although painful when it happens, walking away may actually be a great thing and produce awesome results later on.

Anytime you walk away, your value and the other person’s value often go up. Therefore, in time, you both learn to respect one another. Then you love each other even more than you did before.

4. Do the Things You Enjoy most.

The idea is to create positive experiences for yourself that will balance out the bad stuff. Doing your favorite hobbies is a great way to do that.

5. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You:

Work toward your goals.

If you focus on your goals, you won’t have time to focus on your bullies. Besides, they don’t deserve even to be an afterthought. So, work on your goals and where you want to go.

Moreover, make life all about those things. Keep doing your thing!

6. Treat yourself.

In other words, treat yourself to a good, long soak in the bathtub, or to a makeover. Go to a spa and get a good muscle massage and pampering session.

Focus on your well-being and the more likely you are to heal from bullying.

7. take a trip.

Sometimes, it’s just good to steal away to a beach house on a secluded beach with your family or friends. Also, you can visit an out of state relative.

Whatever you decide, getting out of town helps to bring you out of stagnation and revive you. It also gives you a sense of adventure, and that always lifts the mood. So, pack your things and go!

8. Indulge in your hobbies.

Hobbies not only make you feel accomplished, but they take your mind off your bullies and the bullying you suffered in the past. Therefore, find something you enjoy doing the most and concentrate on it.

Being creative is one of the best things you can do for yourself. Moreover, it helps to remind you that you are good at something and that you have value. Which, you do!

9. Practicing self-care when People Bully You:

kick toxic people out of your life.

In other words, go no contact with anyone who uses or abuses you even a little. Why? Because the little abuses can add up to a huge punch to your self-esteem. Instead, begin keeping company with those who love you and who uplift you.

Spending time with the people who love you the most can be a buffer to your self-esteem. Why? Because it has a way of making up for all the hurt bullies cause you.

It gives you an equal or more amount of positivity in your life. Therefore, hang with those who make you feel best about yourself. Share happy times with them, laugh with them, because laughter truly is the best medicine!

10. work out and eat healthy.

Eating a good diet has ways of making you feel well. This alone can work wonders for your self-esteem. Instead of eating junk that make you feel sluggish, eat proteins and green veggies to energize you.

Also, it pays to exercise every day.

Exercise not only makes you healthier and promotes weight loss and better muscle tone, but it can also be one heck of a stress buster. Whether you like High-Intensity Training with weights or a brisk walk through the park, it increases endorphins and other feel-good chemicals to help you feel better.

Focusing on your physical health is another way to take care of yourself when people bully you.

This post is all about practicing self-Care when people bully you so that you can better protect your self-esteem and overall mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

5. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

Inside the Mind of a Bully

March 20, 2025March 20, 20252 Comments

‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.

If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.

However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.

This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.

Inside the mind of a bully

Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.

Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.

Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.

Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.

A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.

Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.

Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.

It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.

Inside the Mind of a Bully:

In their minds, you owe them respect

And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.

The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.

In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.

From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.

Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.

This is the mentality of bullies.

The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.

Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.

“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”

In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!

You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.

When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.

They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.

Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.

Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.

Inside the mind of a bully:

Most bullies are relentless.

Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.

Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.

Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.

Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.

‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!

This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.

Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.

**Do bullies know they’re Bullies?**

In most cases, YES!

Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.

The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.

Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.

Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!

Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.

Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!

In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!

Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!

Inside the mind of a Bully:

What to expect

Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.

1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.

In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.

2. Pit your friends against you.

If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.

Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.

Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.

However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.

Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!

3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:

Send henchmen to physically harm you.

If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.

They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.

Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.

Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.

Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.

when and where does it stop?

It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.

Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.

I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.

Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.

If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.

If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.

And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.

This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You

2. The 4 Stages of Bullying

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

March 18, 2025March 12, 20252 Comments

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is one of the biggest challenges you face when people constantly bully you. However, you can do it! Here’s how to love yourself in the middle of bullying so that you can emerge from it with your self-esteem and mental health intact.

Loving yourself can be challenging when people target you for bullying. How can you feel good about yourself when the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

In this post you will learn all about ways of loving yourself in an environment that hates you. In that, you will learn ways to do it so that you can come away from bullying with a healthy self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be able to come through any abuse with minimal damage to your mental health and move on to a happy and productive life.

This post is all about loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you can come through bullying with your confidence, self-esteem, and mental health intact.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts and attacks, even for a short time, makes life harder than it should be.

Moreover, after a long period of time, it can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited bullies tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Here are ways to keep loving yourself when everyone bullies you.

1. Make positive affirmations every day, several times a day.

In other words, look at yourself in the mirror each morning and say these words to yourself:

“I AM a good person.”
“I AM worthy of being loved.”
“I AM beautiful.”
“I AM important.”
“I AM smart.”

The more you give yourself positive affirmations, the more they will stick and the more you’ll believe it even if others try to bring you down. This is how you shield your precious mind from bullies who wish to destroy it.

Understand that you must do what you must do to maintain your self-esteem. Never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU. Therefore, love yourself enough to give yourself compassion when others mistreat you.

2. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Be willing to make difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some very difficult decisions in order to either receive that love and respect or get rid of toxic people who refuse to give it to you.

Sometimes, you have to walk away for people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

Moreover, this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible. It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If by chance, it doesn’t happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve.

You must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go.

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Stop Caring what people think of you.

No lie. This can be hard to do, especially if the people around you hate you and are bullying you. Loving yourself in a room full of people who hate you takes a mountain of hard work.

In other words, it’s real tough to do when all you hear from everyone is:

“You aren’t worth a damn!”
“You suck!”
“You’re a drain on society!”
“You’ll never amount to a hill of beans!”

I understand. If you hear that long enough and from enough people, it can break your spirit if you let it. And how you refuse to let it get to you is to see it for what it is- noise pollution!

This is why it’s so important to stop giving a tinker’s damn what anyone thinks of you. At the end of the day, what they think of you doesn’t matter.

Here’s another thing to think about. The weight a person’s opinions carry depends on their relationship with you. In other words, you give the most value to the opinions of the people who are closest to you. The ones who love and care for you.

However, the opinions of those who are out to hurt you carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t have to place in value on the opinions of enemies, bullies, and haters.

To get offended by someone’s opinion, you must first value their opinions. Therefore, don’t give any value to things that have none.

In other words, refuse to let the incendiary remarks of a bully get to you.

4. Give yourself permission to be yourself.

That means be the authentically beautiful person you were born to be. Moreover, do it even if others don’t like it. Understand that most people are fake and they won’t like it when you relax and be yourself. Why? Because you’re their complete opposite.

Also, giving yourself permission to be yourself means knowing it’s okay to have needs, wants, and desires. Moreover, it’s okay to express those desires.

Other people might ridicule or reprimand you for asking for what you want. However, pay these people no mind and just do your thing. They’ll get over it eventually.

5. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Train your inner voice to speak lovingly to you.

You do this through practice and patience. If that inner critic starts putting you down, catch it when it happens. Then turn the negative words into words of love.

Therefore, when you do this for long enough, that voice will begin to love you unconditionally.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Understand that we’re all on different paths. Some have smooth paths and others paths are rougher. However, never compare your life with theirs.

Look for the blessings in your life and be proud of who you are.

7. Give yourself permission to walk away from drama.

When bullies begin running their mouths, sometimes it’s best to just walk away and leave them standing there. Understand that you have a right not to deal with drama.

Moreover, expect your bullies to ridicule you for choosing to remove yourself. They may accuse you of being to scared to face them. However, know that it’s not out of fear that you do so, it’s out of smarts and self-care.

Therefore, realize that it’s okay to leave if you’re in an environment where you aren’t valued.

8. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, not everyone has bullies who constantly shame them for it or remind them of past errors.

This is proof that your mistakes are no worse than the ones others make. Your bullies may make it seem like they are. But they aren’t. Therefore, you’re no worse than anyone else.

Continue to love and value yourself anyway, despite what others may say or think.

9. Know that it’s okay if people get angry with you.

In other words, if people get angry at you for taking care of yourself, that’s your cue that they don’t deserve to be in your life and you should ditch these creeps and move on.

Don’t let their anger discourage you from doing what’s best for yourself. Because you’re the only one who must live your life. Therefore, make your life the best life you can make it.

And to hell with what anyone else thinks!

10. Realize that you can’t control how others think, feel, or behave.

Another person’s behavior is beyond your control. Therefore, give up the urge to control the way others act toward you. Why? Because it’s impossible and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

You can never control how others view you. Moreover, you can’t control what people say to you and how they act toward you.

However, what you can control is how you behave. In other words, you can control how you respond to the behavior of bullies and other idiots who try to steal your joy.

And, most importantly, you have a choice whether to keep associating with these losers and keep them in your life. Therefore, give them the boot if possible.

You don’t need them around.

11. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

See your bullies’ drivel for what it is – a bunch of noise!

Loving yourself in the face of bullying is revolutionary!

Therefore, you must drown out all the hot air and noise pollution your bullies emit. And you must see it for what it is. How do you do that?

You do it by seeing your bullies for the creeps they truly are.
You do it by understanding where all their vitriol comes from.
Also, you do it by thinking good thoughts of yourself and reminding yourself of your good qualities.
And you do it by reminding yourself what a bunch of pathetic losers your bullies truly are.

Therefore, keep training your brain to think highly of yourself, even when nobody else thinks lowly of you. It’s the greatest act of rebellion against bullies!

Again, see it for what it is. The judgements and verbal abuse you consistently hear from the cowardly creeps around you, is nothing but a bunch of racket. In other words, it’s noise pollution!

When you’re determined like yourself when others don’t, you refuse to let bullies get into your head.

Moreover, you train your brain to filter out the negative comments that serve no purpose but to damage your self-esteem. Also, you silence that inner critic that would otherwise nag you night and day.

And here’s the best part! When you love and accept yourself, others outside the bullying environment will likely accept you. In other words, strangers who have no history with you will be inclined to also love and accept you.

No, your bullies and abusers won’t like or love you even if you love yourself. But who cares about them?

Therefore, you must love yourself in spite of what others think of you. You will be surprised at how it protects your self-esteem. When you work to feel good about yourself, even while bullies are trying to tear you down, it will work as a buffer to the psychological attacks they launch.

You may come out of it bruised, but not broken.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Learn to Love the Person You’re Stuck with For Life- You!

There’s no getting away from it, bucko! You can never run from yourself. You are confined to yourself and will take this person with you wherever you go.

Therefore, would you rather be stuck for the rest of your life with someone you love or someone you hate?

This post was all about the importance of loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you’ll be able to buffer yourself against the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

March 15, 2025March 11, 20253 Comments

‘Want to know how to overcome learned helplessness. Here are all the ways you can empower yourself and take back control over your life.

When you’ve been bullied and abused long enough, you develop a condition called “Learned Helplessness.” In other words, you feel hopeless.

You feel that there’s nothing you can do about your situation. Therefore, you give up any options you may have to make a better life for yourself.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to overcoming learned helplessness so that you can take back your autonomy and your life.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back control of your life and begin your journey back to peace and happiness.

This post is all about how to overcome learned helplessness and go from hopelessness to happiness.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness

How does learned helplessness apply to bullying?

When people bully you, many times they will either keep you from defending yourself or punish you for it. This is how learned helplessness rears it’s ugly head if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, many targets and survivors of bullying get stuck in the only life they know. Moreover, if bullying and abuse are the only things a person knows, guess what happens?

They usually stay stuck in relationships and environments that are harmful to them. Why? Because bullies and abusers have conditioned them all their lives to accept it as a normal part of life. This can happen to animals as well.

Here’s a piece from the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M. D.

“Maier and Seligman had repeatedly administered painful electrical shocks to dogs who were trapped in locked cages. They called this condition, ‘inescapable shock.’”

“After administering several courses of electric shock, the researchers opened the doors of the cages and then shocked the dogs again. A group of control dogs who had never been shocked before immediately ran away, but the dogs who had earlier been subjected to inescapable shock made no attempt to flee, even when the door was wide open- they just lay there, whimpering and defecating. The mere opportunity to escape does not necessarily make traumatized animals, or people, take the road to freedom.

Like Maier and Seligman’s dogs, many traumatized people give up. Rather than risk experimenting with new options, they stay stuck in the fear they know.”

This is interesting.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Learned helplessness doesn’t come from bullying per se. It comes more from being trapped and having no way to escape bullying.

Many targets of bullying have been repeatedly traumatized just like the electric shock dogs in the excerpt. People have abused them for so long that they’ve programmed them to stay in a miserable environment.

Moreover, others have conditioned them tolerate more abuse. It’s heartbreaking!

Nine times out of ten, the target is trapped in the bullying and has no chance of getting away from it. In other words, they’re trapped in a school they can’t transfer from.

Many victims of workplace bullying are stuck in a job they can’t afford to quit. Many parents of bullied kids can’t afford to move to a new area. Maybe zoning laws forbid switching schools.

Whatever the situation may be, there’s no getting away from the bullying.

When bullies and abusers deliberately block your fight or flight response, what can you do? What can you do when people or circumstances prevent you from running away or fighting back?

You either fly into a rage and end up committing a serious crime or you do like most victims. You shut down completely and surrender to “what just is.” In short, you give up.

L.H. comes from long-term entrapment

Therefore, many targets and survivors suffer from Learned Helplessness because of entrapment. Moreover, evil people have programmed them to believe that there is nothing they can do to defend themselves.

Therefore, bullies and abusers have trained them to believe they have absolutely no control over what happens to them.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Keep fighting and know that things will get better sooner or later.

This is why we should never allow bullies and abusers to drive us to the point of giving up. Never allow bullies and abusers to brainwash you into believing that you’re helpless.

Why? Because it will have devastating consequences for your entire life. No matter how others treat you and how bad things get, you must hold on to your self-belief.

Moreover, you must hold on to hope. Know that if you keep fighting, things will eventually improve.

Keep your eyes on your goals and dreams. Only then will you be able to break the hold that bullies or abusers have on you.

You may not physically be able to escape the bullying and abuse you suffer. However, you still have control over your mind.

You still have a say in what goes into your mind and what you choose to kick out of it. So, never allow the words of a bullying abuser clutter your brain.

Instead, fill your mind with your goals and dreams. Continue to think of things that make you feel good about yourself.

Work on devising a plan of escape and stick to it. Then, when the time is right and a door opens, put your plan into action.

Trust me, you’re worth it and you deserve to live drama-free and in peace.

Run your life. Don’t let your life run you.

The feeling of powerlessness is a gawd-awful place. You can feel you have no control over your life. Instead of running your life, your life runs you. Even worse, as much as you want to fix it, you don’t know how.

Your life may be a constant battle. You may be fighting a war you never volunteered to fight in but one you feel you’ve been involuntarily drafted into.

Moreover, in this war, you have no furlough nor R&R. Even worse, this war seems to be never-ending. You feel you’re sailing on a ship without a rudder.

Bad things keep happening back-to-back. What’s worse is that you don’t know what’s broken. Therefore, again, you have no way of knowing how to fix it.

Perhaps, the most heart-sinking thing is this. It looks as if everyone else is happily enjoying life. They’re getting what they want, or more appropriately, what you want.

Everyone… except you. And you’re sick of always being the exception.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

1. Recognize it in your thinking patterns.

For example, your bullies can program your subconscious mind if you let them. They will make you believe that love, success, anything good and meaningful, was for anyone who isn’t you.

Moreover, you may feel that God loathes you. It may seem that He wants to punish you by blocking you from any kind of happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. Also, it may seem that God is making sure that you see everyone else reaching successes and enjoying their lives.

And you may hate them all for it. Even worse, you may hate God for blessing them and cursing you. You may rage at Him for allowing you to suffer.

It may seem that God has left you to fend for yourself, then cut off ways for you to do it. But see all this for what it is… all lies!

Your reaction may be to stop talking to God. In fact, you may want nothing to do with Him. Your impulse may be to ignore Him flat out or curse Him in your heart. You may be angry, even outraged!

It may seem that He’s forcing you to suffer while rubbing everyone else’s successes and blessings in your face. You may have the feeling He is starving you. That He is forcing you to go without food while forcing you to watch everyone in the room enjoy a huge feast and eat heartily.

And it feels like torture. But again, it’s all lies. Therefore, never stop praying no matter what! And never allow this type of thinking to take root.

Therefore, the first step to preventing this type of mindset is to recognize it.

This type of thinking is the result of learned helplessness.

But you see? This is what learned helplessness does. It programs you to believe that you’re at the mercy of Fate!

You ask yourself, “what’s the point?” After so many disappointments and heartaches, you feel there’s nothing you can do to change your situation. You think that you’re just “stuck with it,” and “that’s just the way it is.”

Learned helplessness forces you to believe that you have power over nothing! You’re just a leaf being blown about by the wind- a car without a steering wheel.

It is as if your life has been set to autopilot and there’s no way you can navigate its direction.

You come to believe that you should just roll over and resign yourself. People and circumstances have forced you to accept your fate and station in life.

And why not? It’s easier just to go with the flow and let yourself be blown wherever the wind decides to take you.

However, you’ll do yourself so much good by resisting this type of thinking.

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Read Personal Development books and articles.

You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene! Or, you can read the Bible.

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

Begin reading personal development and putting everything you learn into practice. This requires that you be hungry for any knowledge you can use to make a better life for yourself.

And, trust me. When you’re hungry for the knowledge, you’ll devour book after book. Moreover, you’ll continue to practice the new habits you learn. And you’ll do it everyday until it became like second nature and you no longer have to think about it.

The transformation won’t happen overnight. It will take time, even few years. However, you will be amazed at the results.

Good blessings will begin to flow into your life almost immediately! They may be small at first. Nevertheless, they’ll still be blessings.

You will realize that, all along, you’ve had the power to change things only you’d never known you had it.

And power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have because it’s power you can’t use. You cannot use anything you don’t know you have.

3. Seek therapy.

You don’t have to let them shove psych meds down your throat. However, there’s counseling. Counseling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

4. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Prayer.

Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. Part of reading personal development is practicing it.

You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

This post was all about how to overcome learned helplessness so that you can take back control of your life and feel powerful again.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

March 13, 2025March 11, 20255 Comments

‘Want to know how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying? Here are the reactions you need to know about so that you can learn how to re-frame them and see them for what they are. Also, here’s why you should feel good about it when your bullies react out of panic.

Remember that your bullies thrive on your silence. Why? Because, as long as you stay quiet about the abuse they inflict on you, they can continue to avoid accountability. Even worse, they get to continue bullying you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that you begin speaking out if you want to take your power and your life back.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying. Also, you will learn how much it will positively change your life.

Once you learn what to expect from bullies, you will be prepared to double down and stand your ground no matter what. In that, you will successfully take back your personal power and, with it, control over your life.

This post is all about what happens when you start speaking out against bullying and the positive life-changes that come with it.

Speaking out against bullying

Speaking out against bully starts with reporting your bullies and their bullying when it happens to you. Bullies made coerce you to stay silent. In fact, they may intimidate and induce fear into you. They may threaten physical violence or social consequences.

However, you have a right to safety and dignity. Therefore, reporting your bullies is the first step if you want to overcome bullying.

Yes, speaking out is scary and yes, it involves taking a huge risk of being retaliated against.

But understand that anytime your bullies retaliate and seek to punish you for reporting them, it speaks volumes. It shows that they’re desperate. Moreover, it shows that they’re guilty!

Why? Because if your bullies weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t need to retaliate and they wouldn’t make such an effort to silence you.

In other words, behind a bully’s retaliation for your refusal to stay silent is the knowledge of their own guilt and fear of exposure and resulting consequences. Sadly, most people still haven’t caught onto this yet.

But what if I report it and people in authority refuse to listen?

Understand this right now. Although members of authority and bystanders may not want to listen to your pleas for help, the truth is that they can never un-hear what you’ve told them.

Moreover, though they all may cover for the bully and deny they saw any bullying take place, they can still never unsee it. As long as it reaches their eyes and ears, you still have a voice.

Speaking out against bullying:

When Bullies Retaliate because you spoke out, it screams panic and desperation.

Think about this. Warplanes always get bombarded with the most flack any time they’re flying over their target. This is when the battle is at it’s absolute worst!

You see, the closer the plane gets to the target, the more the enemy will escalate their defensive attacks.

It’s the same with bullies. Any time you peg them on their BS, you’re over the target. And they will hurl all kinds of vicious attacks on you.

Therefore, accept it, expect it, and most importantly prepare for it.

Moreover, if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t let them shake you. Always remember the warplane analogy and you’ll better withstand the onslaught. Even better, you’ll be able to call it out when it happens.

You’d be surprised how much easier it is to fight against something once you can name it. A problem that you can put a name on and explain clearly is a problem you can more easily solve.

5 Things Bullies and Abusers Do When You Call out Their Abuse

Here’s how your bullies will react when you put their bullying on blast.

1. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Lash out at you.

This is the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names. In fact, they’ll call everything but a child of God.

I won’t kid you. It will be difficult to face but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

Instead, see it for what it is. By breaking your silence, you forced your bullies to reveal their true colors. Why?

Because when your bullies fly off the handle and viciously attack you, that’s when you know you’ve busted them. In fact, you force them to bust themselves just by their very reactions!

Also, you force them to explain themselves.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their “authority”- their power because neither power nor authority ever explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

In other words, you instantly snatch them out of their position of power and move them into a vulnerable position. You automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a subordinate place.

In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

2. Deny their abuse.

Bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively, claiming they never bullied or mistreated you. And, you can be sure that they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen to them the same thing.

Again, don’t let it deter you. Calmly tell them, “Don’t try to deny it because you did.” The trick is to not only call out what they did, but also to call out their denial of it.

3. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Gaslight you.

Oftentimes, when you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing the bullying or dismissing it.

They may claim that you must’ve misinterpreted them somehow. Moreover, they may question your memory of the events. They may even accuse you of imagining things.

You may hear remarks such as, “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being overly sensitive”.

Also, they may make statements such as:

“Well, we were just kids then.”
“But that’s all water under the bridge.”
“Just let bygones be bygones.”
”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it” or accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

Here are other objectives for their gaslighting:

To minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
To make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
To cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

You must realize that this is gaslighting and it speaks volumes about their character. You know bullying when it happens to you, so, don’t be afraid to counter their gaslighting.

4. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you notice their bullying and call it out is when bullies and abusers lose control over you. Therefore, if they can no longer control you, they will control how others see you.

And they will tell everyone who will listen what a lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, as difficult as it may be, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control. Why? Because they’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face.

So, expect them to tell everyone that you’re “mentally imbalanced” and that you’re having some sort of mental episode.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care and wouldn’t react so desperately. So, always see this as an admission of guilt.

5. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared. Understand that this is the best outcome because if they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them trying to gaslight you.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

However, be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others. Moreover, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth.

Different bullies react different ways and may use any or all four of the above defensive measures.

Speaking out Against Bullying:

In conclusion:

I can’t stress this enough. Bullies and abusers count on your silence. Moreover, they detest, or more appropriately, fear the possibility of you exposing them.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because it puts them at risk of losing respect in the community.

Therefore, the last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Understand that bullies make everything about appearances. And when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both.

Again, don’t be afraid. Instead, see it as they’re unwittingly revealing themselves and let them go at it. Let them launch their personal attacks.

By attacking you, they only tell off on themselves.

This post was all about the possible reactions of bullies when you begin speaking out against bullying. The purpose of this post was to help you see through their reactions so that you’ll be more encouraged to talk.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

5. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

March 11, 2025March 11, 20253 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and power so that you can preserve your autonomy? Here are the two categories of power you need to be aware of so that you can prevent others from dis-empowering you.

It’s no secret that, for bullying to happen, there has to be a power imbalance because bullies don’t bully unless they know they’re more powerful.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about bullying and power and the kinds of power bullies use to dominate and control you. Also, you’ll learn about the two main categories of power as well as the power bullies use. You will learn what each tactic entails so that you can keep yourself safe.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better able to protect yourself from bullies who wish to strip you of your power. Moreover, you will be further compelled to defend and protect yourself against them.

This post is all about bullying and power to give you more knowledge of how bullies attempt to take your power away and lord it over. It’s also about the two main categories of power and what comes with it so that you can guard your personal power and protect it.

Bullying and Power

Everyone wants to have power. You, me, everyone. It’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is hell on earth. That’s why I say, everyone wants power, if only a little of it.

When a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. In essence, they are as a leaf being blown around in the wind.

They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them. And it’s a terrible way to live because, without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It would be the worst thing that could ever happen to you!

Therefore, typical people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments and achievements. They get power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

In other words, people who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs, family life, talents, finances, and physical health. Therefore, it’s why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day.

It’s also why they display their talents and gifts. Furthermore, it’s the reason they take pride in their families.

For instance, a mother gets her sense of power from her ability to create a good home for her babies. A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh.

Bullying and Power:

Getting this kind of power doesn’t require steamrolling other people

A singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice, through song. An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. And a student gets her sense of power through making exceptional grades, getting diplomas/degrees, and winning titles, such as Honor Roll or Summa Cum Laude.

Moreover, one thing they all have in common is that they do it without stepping on others. Therefore, understand that getting power this way doesn’t require hurting others and there are no winners and losers.

There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

1. Personal power

This is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path and to choose your own wants.

Moreover, it’s having the freedom to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you are already the director of your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life and you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

Here’s what personal power includes.

a. Bullying and Power:

autonomy

Autonomy is the freedom to make your own decisions and to do what you know is best for you. Also, it’s the power to decide your likes and dislikes and what you will and will not put up with.

B. Freedom

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course, but with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours, and yes, you may have to take the long way to your destination. However, you know where you’re going, and you eventually get to where you want to go.

c. Peace of mind

You’re at peace with yourself and you trust yourself to make the right choices for yourself.

D. Confidence

You’re confident in yourself and in the decisions you make. Moreover, you aren’t afraid to take risks and to make hard decisions to get to where you want to go.

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because bullies are incompetent fools who have no intelligence (social or otherwise).

Bullying and Power:

Bullies cannot achieve personal power

They also have no sense of responsibility, no talent- no redeeming qualities whatsoever. Therefore, the only way bullies can achieve satisfaction, happiness, success, or self-actualization (power) is to inflict harm on others.

The only way they can achieve power in their jobs, families, finances, etc. is by steamrolling people. Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

2. Power over

This type of power involves lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. Power over violates boundaries. It shows no respect nor regard.

Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom. In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (you).

Power over is a zero-sum game. Always! Also, power over is against personal power and it only takes it away. Here’s all that it involves.

a. Coercion through threats and intimidation

For instance, physical bullies will force you to do things you don’t want to do by threatening bodily harm. In other words, they warn you that if you don’t do what they want you to do, they will “punch you in the face” or “beat the living hell out of you.”

These types of bullies will also try to frighten you through dirty looks and threatening gestures. Put another way, they’ll give you the death glare or pound their fist into the palm of their opposite hand while glaring at you.

Moreover, they may damage your property and steal your belongings.

Other types of threats and intimidation tactics include threatening to get you into trouble with friends, family, friends, school staff, or workplace management.

B. Bullying and power:

Humiliation

Bullies use humiliation by calling you names and ridiculing you in public. They can also take your personal belongings, such as sanitary napkins, birth control pills, or condoms and flash them around in public, then telling everyone they belong to you.

Bullies do this to shame and embarrass you. Moreover, they do it to make you look foolish in front of others. Humiliation, or the threat of it, is a powerful tool to control and dominate others and bullies know it.

c. Emotional bullying

Emotional bullying happens when bullies put you down to make you feel bad about yourself. This is a form of coercive control because the bully is trying to control your state of mind and the way you feel.

In other words, they manipulate your emotions.

Emotional bullying involves name-calling and giving you degrading nicknames. Moreover, it involves staring at you, giggling and laughing at you.

Even worse, it can involve triggering you by bringing up a past traumatic event that may have happened to you.

This could be an embarrassing mistake you made in the past or a past bullying incident you suffered. It could also be something as terrible as the death of a spouse or parent or a physical attack that nearly took your life.

Bullies will use these tactics when you refuse them. They’ll use emotional bullying as a way to wear you down and get you to cave into their demands.

Therefore, many victims of bullying give up, give in, and do what bullies want, if only to appease them. And, they do it hoping the bullies will leave them alone.

d. Bullying and Power:

Social Isolation

This involves using smear campaigns, rumors, and vicious gossip to tarnish your reputation. Also, it involves the silent treatment and punishing your friends and others who continue associating with you.

Bullies do these things to turn other people against you and thus, socially isolate you. Moreover, bullying your friends is a way to force your pals to eventually decide the cost of talking to you is too high.

E. Financial and Economic Abuse

This includes ruining your chances of employment by blackballing you. Also, bullies can make calls to different companies and tell lies about you. Or, they can use a past mistake you made to lessen the chances of them hiring you.

Bullies may even show up at your workplace and cause a big scene to get you terminated. Moreover, they may steal your money, hack into your back account, or steal your identity.

F. Legal abuse (Law-fare)

Bullies may file frivolous lawsuits or false charges against you to clean you out or get you arrested and thrown in jail. Understand that they do this to make your life a living nightmare and weigh you down in legal bills.

You must realize that these types of bullies don’t care so much about winning or losing the case. The process alone is the punishment. In other words, what they really want is to keep you fighting legal battles to drain your financial resources.

g. Bullying and Power:

Use social status or capital

High-status bullies will use their social status to lord it over you. They may treat you like a maidservant or errand-boy. Moreover, they may act as gatekeeper to church, school, workplace, or community social activities and functions.

h. Cyber-bullying, online harassment, and cyber-stalking

These bullies may flame you. You may ask, “What is flaming?” because there are still many who haven’t heard of it.

Flaming is sending incendiary, defamatory, harassing or threatening emails, IMs, text messages, or private messages on social media.

Moreover, they may also do this on message boards, forums, and chat rooms.

Bullies may also create duplicate social media accounts and claim to be you. They may then post porn, intimate information, or mean insulting things to your friends and followers to get them to delete and block you.

Worst case scenario, they may even hack your SM accounts and take them over to lock you out and post horrible things on your pages.

If you’re a target of bullying, it’s so important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free.

You will finally begin living instead of existing. Moreover, just knowing all the tactics bullies use will make all the difference!

This post is all about bullying and power. It’s also about 2 main types of power and components of each so that you can distinguish between the two and protect your personal power from those who wish to take it from you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

4. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

5. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

March 10, 2025March 11, 202510 Comments

‘Want to know how to read threatening body language so you can protect yourself before bullies have a chance to hurt you? Here are 21 Nonverbal bullying signals you must know about.

Body Language Speaks Louder Than Words. Words have power, yes. But without the body language that goes with them, they’re only static- empty noise.

Seasoned bullies often don’t use words to intimidate you. They threaten you with their body language because it’s less detectable than words.

Therefore, in this post you will learn to read threatening body language so that you can be aware and protect yourself before anything bad happens.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be more alert when bullies try to intimidate you. As a result, you’ll be better prepared to stand up to them or remove yourself from the situation.

This post is all about threatening body language, what it means, and how you can respond to it properly to defend yourself from bullies.

Threatening body language

If you’re stuck in an environment that’s peppered with bullies, the ability to read even the most subtle cues is a must. Bullies are masters at hiding their imperfections, their motives, and their intentions.

Therefore, you must pick up on what they try to conceal, and you can only do it by correctly observing their most subtle cues and pantomimes.

Every movement, even the tiniest, from eye movements to gestures, holds a wealth of information. Moreover, every body position and stance also hold info. Everything people do or don’t do conveys a message. We are forever communicating.

Therefore let’s get right into it. Here are all the threatening body language cues you’re likely to get from bullies.

1. Eyes- That Creepy Piercing Glare.

The bully’s eyebrows narrow and their eyes bore into you without blinking. The head does not move. Moreover, the person stares you down as if they want to attack you.

Understand that bullies do this number to either challenge or intimidate you. Therefore, you must return the same stare to the bully and they’ll likely go away.

2. Nose- The Nostril Flare.

You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flare when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies.

When a bully wants to harm you, their nostrils flare to take in the extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. In other words, when a person’s nostrils flare at you, look out!

Why? Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Therefore, keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to defend yourself.

3. Threatening body Language:

Jaw- The Jaw Clinch.

The bully is gritting his teeth at you and hiding it. When this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding. The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight.

Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore it. Stay vigilant.

4. Mouth- Pursing of the Lips, the One-Sided Upper-Lip Raise, Baring of the teeth (snarling).

There are many expressions bullies use with their mouths.

Pursed lips. Lip pursing looks like the lips are thinned out and pushing together hard. Moreover, pursed lips are a sign of anger and hostility. However, pay attention to context because they can also signal concentration and decision-making.
The One-Sided Upper-lip Raise is a clear sign of contempt or disgust. Coupled with a glare, the message is even clearer. The person loathes you.
Baring of the teeth or snarling. Another thing bullies may do with their mouths is bare their teeth or snarl at you. This is a way for them to threaten and intimidate you. Again, return the expression but be prepared.

Therefore, don’t look away. Instead, return the sentiment to show the bully that the feelings are mutual and you aren’t intimidated. Chances are that the bully will likely shift their eyes away from you.

However, if they don’t, keep your guard up and prepare to defend yourself.

5. Threatening Body Language:

Chin- The Jutted Chin.

The bully tilts the head back and juts his chin forward strictly to look down his nose at you. Therefore, when the bully does this, he is either challenging you, trying to intimidate you, or he truly thinks he’s superior.

Again, return the sentiment and the bully will likely back down.

6. Neck- The Exposed Neck.

The bully will expose and lengthen the neck to challenge you. People do this to show that they aren’t afraid of the person in front of them and can hold their own if necessary.

Moreover, bullies do it to make themselves appear taller and to intimidate anyone in their way. Again, reflect the gesture back to the bully and he’ll likely leave you alone.

7. Shoulders- The Shoulder Throw.

Bullies will often throw their shoulders back to convey confidence and power. Therefore, if you want to appear confident, never slouch the shoulders. Always stand up straight, tall, and with your shoulders back.

8. Chest- The Puffed-Out Chest.

The bully’s chest puffs outward toward you. Also, the chest fills with extra air in preparation for a possible fight. In other words, this is not only done to make the bully look bigger and to intimate you, but also a sign of a coming physical attack.

Be aware and be prepared.

9. Threatening body language:

Arms- Arms Akimbo.

The arms of a bully are often akimbo (elbows out, hands on hips, thumbs forward). This makes the bully appear bigger and more powerful.

Also, bullies use this gesture to intimidate you and show power and superiority over you. Therefore, to raise your chances of warding off these creeps, stand with power, and send the message that you won’t be a victim.

10. Crossed Arms.

When coupled with the jutted chin, bullies will also cross their arms anytime they’re facing you. Crossed arms are not only a sign of superiority and power, they also convey closed body language.

Why? Because, when a bully crosses his arms when facing you, it means they are “closed” to anything you have to say.

However, note that victims will also cross their arms when a bully confronts them. However, the difference is that they cross their arms to avoid a possible attack to the torso. In this context, crossed arms signal intimidation.

Victims may also throw their hands and arms in front of their face and neck. Instead of using the jutted chin, a victim will lower the head, hide the neck, and slouch. This is where paying attention to clustered body language comes in.

To keep bullies away, never slouch, lower the head nor hide the neck. You must always look confident and mirror the bully’s body language back to them or they’ll eat you alive!

11. Threatening Body Language:

Hands- The Clenching Fists.

The bully will often clench their fists when they want to physically attack you. Therefore, always see this as a sign the person wants to harm you and be ready in case they do.

12. Mid-Section- The Crotch Expose.

This is done mostly by boys and men. Although it is a sign of sexual interest in a potential mate, it can also be used to intimidate you and to assert dominance and power.

You’ll know the difference by the context.

If you are male, take a power pose. On the other hand, if you are female and this is used by a male bully for intimidation, stand facing the bully.

When you face your bully, do so with your feet apart and hands on your hips. Then challenge him with a death glare.

You can also give him a dismissive look and walk away.

13. Legs- Legs Apart.

Again, most bullies stand with their feet shoulder-width apart to appear bigger and more powerful. Confident people also stand this way.

Therefore, if you want to appear confident and keep bullies at bay, this is how you should stand.

The Dominant Leg Back-step.

This is when the bully steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes!

Therefore, if you see the bully step back with one leg, either get clear or be prepared to fight!

14. Threatening Body Language:

Feet- The Toe Point.

Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading. The toes always point to where the person wants to go.

If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction. Whereas, if the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you and their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the context and other cues their body will give you. It pays to observe!

Threatening Body Language:

Putting it all together

Dominance and Superiority Body Language

15. Bullies take up lots of space to appear bigger.

You will often see bullies place their hands on their hips and stand extra tall. They will lengthen their necks and make sure their torsos are exposed to convey confidence and bravery.

16. They will stand extra close to you.

In fact, bullies will stand so close that they will sometimes touch you as they deliberately invade your personal space. Understand that they do this to intimidate you.

Also, they do this to provoke you and dare you to do anything about it.

17. Bullies will use threatening, clustered facial expressions.

They will frown and purse their lips at you while maintaining unblinking and unwavering eye contact. Also, your bullies will bore their eyes into you like a dagger, without moving their heads.

18. Threatening Body Language:

They will freely touch you because they have no regard for your personal space.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. They may also grab you by the arm and lead (or drag) you where they want you to go.

A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you.

Understand the message behind it. Your bully intends to show you who’s in charge. Moreover, they may also do these things to signal ownership of you.

Yes. You read this correctly. In the bully’s mind, he owns you. The message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

19. If you’re sitting, your bully or bullies will stand over you to look bigger and more intimidating.

Moreover, bullies who are short in stature will stand on something to appear taller than you. Some may even stand on their tiptoes.

20. Threatening Body Language:

Bullies will also lay claim to your territory or property.

Your desk, chair, and parking space is fair game. Also, your bullies will expect others to obey rules when near their claimed area or object.

They may walk into your room, office, dorm, or home uninvited and without knocking. Moreover, your bullies may plop down in your chair without asking permission.

Other invasions include leaning on your vehicle, parking in your parking space, cutting in front of you in line, or propping their feet on the back of your chair when sitting behind you.

Also, your bullies put their hands on your personal belongings with a carefree attitude. Their message is, “I own you, so I own anything that is yours.”

They’ll walk up to your table during lunch, pick a French fry off your plate in front of you, and pop it in their mouths. Or, your bullies may pick up your fork and take a bite of your food.

Moreover, bullies will pick up your phone and scroll through the contents. They will also rummage through your purse or pick up your jacket and go through the pockets.

The hidden message is, “I can take whatever I want, and what are you going to do about it?”

Understand that bullies do these things to take away your power. When they do any of these things, tell them in no uncertain terms to keep their hands off your shit! In fact, you may have to knock the hell out of somebody to get your point across!

21. Bullies will invade public territory.

They’ll walk in the center of a hallway or sit on a flight of stairs, expecting people to move and go around them. Also, bullies will stand in the middle of a road or driveway or take their time crossing the street, forcing cars to stop and wait.

In Conclusion:

It’s important that you respond to these signals and do it with power. Never ignore them. Mirror any threatening facial expressions or gestures.

Moreover, if a bully violates your space or belongings, always call them out on it. Never let it happen without asserting yourself. If a bully stares you down, always return the stare. Either look them in the eye or look them between the eyes.

If they look at you while standing feet apart and arms akimbo, reflect the exact same stance back to the bully. If the bully is rushing you, slow down. Do not speed up! Remain calm.

The point is to show the bully that you’re not the least bit intimidated by them. And be willing to fight in you must.

This post is all about threatening body Language and what you can do to respond with strength so that you can let the bullies know you won’t be their victim.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

4. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

5. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

March 6, 2025January 19, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know the reasons bullies target quiet people? Here are all the reasons bullies bully the silent the most so that you can feel better about yourself if you’re an introvert people like to bully.

Bullies usually go after the people who are the quietest. But why?

In this post you will learn all the reasons bullies target the quiet ones the most. Moreover, if you’re an introvert who others like to bully, you will learn why your silence isn’t such a bad thing and can be a gift.

Once you learn all these important points, you will feel much better about yourself. Moreover, you will be compelled to use your silence as a means to expose your bullies.

This post is all about why bullies target quiet people so that you can feel good about your silence rather than see it as a defect.

Why Bullies Target Quiet People

Many times, it’s the quiet person who often gets targeted by bullies. So, why do bullies go after those who have little to say?

The silent types usually mind their own business. They have no need for attention, and they don’t bother anyone.

Quiet people don’t feel the need to be a part of a group to feel important. They work hard and stay out of the way. Therefore, again, why won’t bullies leave them alone?

There are several reasons:

1. Bullies presume quiet people to be weak and timid.

introverts who have low Self-Esteem.

Bullies can sniff out low self-esteem very quickly and from far off. In fact, they seem to have radars for it!

Low self-esteem is difficult to hide because it very subtly seeps out through your body language and your entire demeanor. Moreover, people with low self-esteem carry themselves complete different from those with healthy self-esteem.

They slouch when they sit or stand. Whereas, people with healthy self-esteem will hold their shoulders back and stand up straight.

Also those with low self-esteem tend to have downcast eyes and hold their heads down. On the other hand, confident people look up and ahead while holding their heads high and lengthening the neck.

Naturally, bullies take notice and, therefore, take full advantage!

Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

However, not all introverts have low self-esteem. Bullies often mistake Quiet Confidence for low self-esteem.

Most people are under the misguided belief that quiet people are afraid of conflict. Moreover, they think that the silent types are socially awkward misfits whom others have shot down in the past and are now using avoidance to play it safe.

But in reality, they have better things to do. In other words, these quiet people have no time for gossip and other meaningless chit-chats.

It’s true that many of the silent types do have low self-esteem. However, not all of them do. Therefore, bullies can mistakenly select introverts who often have quiet confidence.

Why? Because they mistake their reserved nature for low self-esteem. As a result, lots of bullies have ended up getting the shock of their lives. The quiet target often snaps and ends up kicking the bullies’ asses up between their shoulders.

Therefore, still waters run deep and bullies need to watch out when messing with the quiet ones. Because quiet people are unpredictable!

2. Bullies mistakenly believe they’re least likely to stand up for themselves.

Unfortunately, bullies think that because someone isn’t loud and obnoxious like they are, they won’t defend themselves when provoked. This is a fallacy. I’ve seen many bullies push silents too far and end up with a face-full of humble pie.

3. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Others mistake quiet people for being standoffish.

Bullies will presume that silents are stuck up and think they’re too good to speak. Moreover, bullies can’t stand it if there’s a possibility that someone is ignoring them.

Remember that bullies love attention and they’ll do anything to get it. Therefore, they target the quiet person to get a reaction out of them. Or, they’ll punish them for “being so stuck up.”

4. People think that the silent are sneaky and have something to hide.

Therefore, bullies will often target them to shake them up. They do this to make them slip up and accidentally reveal “whatever it is they’re hiding” out of nervousness.

Bullies often believe the stereotypes they’ve heard about people of few words:

“It’s the quiet ones you have to watch out for!”
“The quiet ones are the most dangerous!”
“Watch out for the quiet ones!”

But wait! It goes much deeper.

5. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Quiet people intimidate bullies.

Only the bullies will never in this lifetime admit it! So, why would someone so silent be so intimidating to bullies?

It’s because bullies have no idea what to expect from them. Moreover, they have to work twice as hard to study and assess them to see if they’re easy targets.

6. Quiet people are unpredictable.

Therefore, this makes the quiet person a threat. Remember that bullies rely on a target’s predictability to bully effectively.

And if you can’t predict what a person’s next move is likely to be, that, in and of itself, can be very frightening. Moreover, if the person is the kind who’s stoic, all the more difficult it will be to “get their number.” In other words, the less you say, the harder others must work to figure you out.

Also, many bullies see the silence as a challenge and will rise to it by provoking the person to get a reaction.

7. Having little to say can keep bullies off balance.

Put simpler, if bullies can’t figure out where you stand on anything, where your hot buttons are, or your desires, likes, and dislikes, they have less fodder and ammo to use against you.

In other words, if they aren’t sure what gets you excited, ticks you off, or makes you nervous, they can’t control you so easily.

Also, because you don’t show your cards, bullies resent you for making them work so hard to pin them.

8. Why bullies Target Quiet People:

Quiet people expose bullies by staying- well, quiet!

Quiet people are very in tune with what goes on around them. They listen very deeply while those around them rattle off at the mouth, exposing everything about themselves.

As everyone knows, bullies are loud, obnoxious, and talk too much. In fact, most of them never shut up. Most targets are quiet, and yes, many are silent because of the fear bullies have instilled in them.

However, there are those targets who are quiet for a different reason. They know that you can’t observe as effectively when you’re too busy yapping.

Think about it. When you’re quiet, you’re watching people closely and listening very carefully to them. Your silence allows you to pick up on things that those with big mouths miss.

You watch, you listen, and you learn so much about your bullies and bystanders too. You watch their body language and you can do it without staring. In fact, you can use your peripheral vision and no one will suspect a thing from you.

You listen to their voices- tonality, pitch, the slightest quiver- and it tells you so much. Therefore, they always say that it’s the quiet ones you should watch out for.

In this case, they’re right! Because, on your silence, you can pick up everything and have people figured out in no time.

9. In their silence, quiet people terrify bullies.

They keep them under their control. Subconsciously, bullies know this, and it drives them nuts! Why? Because bullies can never tell what the silent types are thinking.

Remember that bullies are masters at reading people. However, the quiet person puts their people-reading skills to the test and bullies hate that!

10. Why Bullies Target Quiet People:

Bullies desire to know what others are thinking.

Again. Quiet people make bullies uncomfortable and their silence makes it difficult to guess their intentions. Therefore, bullies get frustrated when their people-reading skills don’t work like they have before.

11. Quiet people put bullies on the defensive.

Their answers are short and silences are long. Therefore, this automatically puts bullies on the defense. Why? Because the bullies assume the quiet person is getting short with them.

So, if you’re a silent person and a target of bullies, don’t let them shake you. Continue to play your cards close to the vest.

Realize that your lack of predictability is what protects you. You must understand that silence has a power all it’s own. Use it.

Silence really is Golden.

Understand that the quiet person may not be talking but trust me. They’re watching people, especially bullies, like a hawk and they’re listening.

In fact, they’re studying people’s every micro-expression. They’re analyzing every tiny detail in others’ movements and actions. Moreover, the silent person is assessing every little sound those around them make.

Quiet people are also constantly thinking and planning. So if you’re a bully, especially a loudmouth one, don’t underestimate them. Remember, “it’s the quiet ones you must watch out for.”

And if you’re a target, use your silence to figure out not only your bullies, but also the bystanders and those who claim to be your friends too.

Remember. Your silence can be a powerful weapon if you know how to use it.

This post was all about why bullies target quiet people so that, if you’re an introvert, you can feel good about your silence and use it to expose bullies and keep them on the back foot.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

3. Family Bullying: 9 Powerful Tips to Buffer Yourself Peacefully

4. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

5. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical

March 5, 2025February 22, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know how to recognize hostile body language when you see it? Here are all the warning signs that your bullies either want to or are about to physically attack you.

Most seasoned bullies seek to intimidate others by nonverbal means. Why? Because nonverbal bullying is subtle and least likely to be detected. This type of bullying can occur either at school, in the workplace, or even in the community.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the subtlest of hostile body language so that you can be prepared when a bully gets ready to attack you.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be better prepared to defend yourself against any physical attack.

This post is all about how to recognize hostile body language so that you can fight back against physical bullying and ensure your safety.

Hostile Body Language

Before we get into the body language cues, let’s first talk about proxemics and zone distances. So, what is proxemics?

Proxemics is knowledge and study of personal space. In other words, it deals with the amount of space between you and other people. This amount of space between people is known as zone distance.

We practice different zone distances based on the relationship we have with the people in the room around us.

There are 4 different types of zone distances.

1. Intimate Zone

(6-18 inches) This distance between people is reserved for lovers, family, close friends, and pets. However, unwelcome bullies will move into your intimate zone when they’re feeling hostile toward you and are about to attack.

Anytime someone we don’t know, don’t trust or don’t like moves into this area, they are too close. Therefore, our minds and bodies automatically go into fight, flight or freeze mode.

Many bullies may also invade your intimate area only to toy with you and get you to react. Then, they’ll only step back and laugh at your reaction.

But do not ignore it! No matter how they do it, your bullies are still invading your space and you absolutely must set boundaries.

Call the bully out. Moreover, let them know that they are in your personal space and that what they’re doing isn’t acceptable.

If they still violate your space after you’ve told them not to, it’s time to fight. So, knock the living hell out of them and beat them so bad that they’ll think twice before doing it again.

2. Hostile body language:

Personal Zone

(18-48 inches) We stand this far apart at parties and social gatherings. If bullies stand in the personal zone, they are still too close. Don’t be afraid to tell them in no uncertain terms to back the hell up!

3. Social Zone

(4-12 feet) These distances, we stand from strangers, clerks, and delivery people. Bullies will easily be able to get away with standing at these distances from you.

Therefore, you might not want to respond if you don’t want to look unstable. However, do keep a close eye on your bully just in case they try to move closer!

4. Public Zone

(Over 12 feet) We stand at these distances when speaking publicly in front of an audience. Bullies can freely stand at these distances from you and not look conspicuous or threatening.

(Zone distances- “The Definitive Book of Body Language,” Allan and Barbara Pease – pp. 194-195; 2004)

Hostile Body Language:

Nonverbal Signals that a Bully is About to Attack You

If a bully is about to commit physical violence against you, you’ll know it by paying attention to their body language. Here is what bullies do when they are about to get physical.

1. They’ll get in your face.

Bullies are notorious for violating others’ personal space. They make it a point to get too close. Therefore, they’ll get in your face.

I want you to understand that bullies do this deliberately to intimidate and challenge you. Also, bullies may do this to dare you to hit them first.

Therefore, haul off and deck this person with every ounce of strength you have! This may sound old school or even barbaric to some people.

However, understand that there is no “nice” way to handle it when someone gets in your face. Bullies don’t respond to politeness or diplomacy. They only respond to strength and power.

Therefore, don’t be afraid to knock the hell out of anyone who gets in your face. Because you can best believe that if a bully gets in your face, their next move will be to put hands on you.

2. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll Stand too close behind you.

Bullies will walk up behind you and stand way too close. Moreover, they’ll stand so close that the front of their bodies are actually touching your back. There’s a name for this type of move. It’s called looming.

Understand that bullies purposefully crowd you to either intimidate you, challenge you or provoke you into a reaction. These violations are too blatant!

Therefore, see this for what it is, a violation of your personal space. Bullies are notorious for getting too close.

These types of bullies have unlimited audacity. They do not respect boundaries! With people who are bold and audacious, you must take a stand!

Never allow this type of behavior to go on. Why? Because they will only increase the behavior if you let them get away with it.

Again, understand that when the bully gets in your face or looms you from behind, he is trying to intimidate you or challenging you, looking to fight. So, do what you have to do to teach this idiot a lesson!

3. they’ll stand over you while you’re sitting down.

If you’re sitting, the bully or bullies will often stand over you to look bigger. They do this also to intimidate, challenge, or provoke you.

This is also a violation of your personal space. Moreover, it is a precursor to a physical attack. Therefore, you must beat them to it. Be quick about jumping up and knocking the holy hell out of them.

The only way to handle this type of bullying is to make them never want to try it again!

4. Hostile Body Language:

They may grab you like an object.

For example, a bully may give you a hard slap on the back. Moreover, they may grab you by the arm and lead you where they want them to go.

A bully may also physically move you to the side or shove past you. Understand that the bully intends to show you who’s in charge. Or they might want to compete with you.

The bully may also do these things to signal ownership of you. Yes, in the bully’s mind, he owns you. Therefore, the message is, “You’re mine, I own you, and I can do what I want with you.”

Again, if a bully just reaches out and grabs you, it’s time to haul off and knock somebody’s teeth down their throat! Remember that we teach others how to treat us by what we put up with.

Therefore, teach this bully that there are consequences for anyone who puts their hands on you! Give them the business end of your fist!

5. They’ll size you up.

Bullies also show hostility by sizing you up. They do this by directly facing you, clinching their fists and puffing out their chests.

Male bullies will snarl at their victims, whereas female bullies will glare at their targets with dirty looks. Clenching a jaw where the jaw is protruding outward is another sign of hostile intentions.

Bullies often glare at their targets persistently and intensely without blinking. Their faces turn red, and they will often stretch.

Therefore, these are sure signs that a bully wants to physically attack you and they will do it soon. Again. Do not ignore this!

6. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll give you the death glare.

Bullies will give you a murderous glare. Moreover, they’ll maintain that glare. This will be an unblinking and unwavering eye contact as they bore their eyes into you like a dagger. Also, they will do this without moving their heads.

That stare will make the hairs stand on the back of your neck. That creepy, bone-chilling look will make you stop whatever you are doing or clam up if you’re talking.

Moreover, they will look at you so intensely, making you feel as if you’re under a microscope. The person doing the staring will be eerily calm.

This is not to say that all staring is necessarily bad. For instance, if a person likes you and has feelings for you, they may also stare. Moreover, their pupils will dilate and crinkles will form around the eyes every time they look at you.

However, the look bullies give you is much different. Their pupils only constrict, becoming tiny black holes in the irises of their eyes.

Moreover, the stare is a cold, prolonged “I’m going to kill you” look which stops you cold. This is the best way I can describe it.

However, the trick is to not let this glare intimidate you. You must realize that bullies pull this number to either challenge or intimidate you.

Therefore, return the stare and the bully will likely go away.

7. They will flare their nostrils at you.

You’ve seen the nostrils of a bull flair when the animal is about to charge a matador. It’s the same with bullies.

The nostrils flair to take in extra oxygen needed for a possible physical attack. When a bully does this, he’s hostile. Therefore, when a person’s nostrils flair at you, look out!

Why? Because it is a sign the bully is about to physically attack you. Keep your eyes peeled and be prepared to throw up your dukes and defend yourself.

8. Hostile Body Language:

The bully’s toes will point toward you.

This is known as the toe-point. Again, you must pay attention to the whole body to get an accurate reading.

The toes always point to where the person wants to go. If a person likes you and enjoys your company, their toes will always point in your direction.

If the person doesn’t like you or is afraid of you, they will want to get away from you. Therefore, their toes will always point away from you.

However, if a bully wants to attack you, their toes will also point in your direction. You’ll know the difference by the other cues their body will give you. It pays to observe and be prepared.

9. They will invade your privacy.

Bullies will very carefully observe you. Also, they’ll eavesdrop on your conversations and listen for intimate details. Why?

So they can take the private info and spread it to make you look bad. They may also read your diary to find out your deepest, darkest secrets.

Again, they want to use the info to damage your reputation. Moreover, bullies may even follow you to see where you go and who you associate with.

If you are a victim of bullying, understand that bullies do this on purpose. They invade your privacy to intimidate or dominate you.

Therefore, you must protect not only your physical and mental health from bullies but also your personal space and territory.

Never be afraid to call the bully out if they violate either one!

9. Hostile Body Language:

Bullies will deliberately knock stuff out of your arms or off your desk as they walk by.

This is a clear provocation to fight. Why? Because they’re daring you to do something about it. Therefore, do what you must do to impose consequences. Call them out on their bad behavior even if you must raise your voice and say, “Cut it out!” or “You stop that right now!”

10. They will pinch their chin.

Bullies may look at you while pinching their chin. They pinch their chin to release the hostile thoughts without acting on them.

In other words, it is a way to hold back the urge to physically attack you.

Therefore, understand that when a bully looks at you and pinches any part of the face, this signals the bully’s secret wish to harm you.

11. Bullies will clinch their jaw.

When they look at you and clinch the jaws, the bully is gritting their teeth and hiding it. Therefore, when this happens, you’ll notice the jaws protruding outward.

The bully either pulls this move to intimidate or in preparation for a fight. Again, this is a sign of a possible physical attack. Don’t ignore. Stay vigilant.

12. Hostile Body Language:

They’ll look at you and pound their fist into something.

Another sign of hostility as when a bully looks at you, then pounds a fist into a tabletop, wall or the palm of his/her opposite hand.

You must realize that any object the bully pounds is only a substitute for your physical body.

Moreover, girls and women will often bite their lip, suck on the inside of their jaw or chew the inside of the mouth while looking at you.

Again, be prepared.

13. Bullies will clinch their fists.

Clinching their fists is another sign that they want to physically attack you. Therefore, always be ready just in case they do.

14. They will do what is known as Mock Fighting.

When a bully mock fights, they will look at you while, throwing punches in the air. The bully will also dance around like a boxer as he does this.

You must realize that he is doing these things to show you what he wants to do to you. I can’t stress this enough. Be on the lookout.

15. Hostile Body Language:

Snarling and Baring teeth.

This is a no-brainer. It’s a clear sign of a coming physical attack. Also, bullies do this to intimidate you. Therefore, don’t let it scare you.

Instead, just stand there and glare at them when they do this. And don’t look away. Keep glaring until the bully breaks eye contact.

Never be the one to break eye contact first. Stare the bully down and maintain that stare until the bully gives up.

The point is to show the bully that they don’t scare you. Also, it pays to be prepared and alert.

The bully may also look at you while frowning and pursing their lips. Therefore, mirror the same expression back to them. Again, don’t be the first to look away. Maintain eye contact until they give up.

16. The bully will step back with their dominant foot.

This is when the bully faces you and steps back with their dominant leg. Boxers in the ring do this just before putting up their dukes!

Therefore, knock the hell out of them before they do it to you. Because stepping back on the dominate leg always, ALWAYS, signals coming physical violence. So, deliver an earth-shattering punch to destabilize the bully.

Then keep punching them until they’re on the floor.

17. Hostile Body Language:

They will accidentally (on purpose) run into you or trip you.

You’ll automatically know when this is no accident. Therefore, deck the bully in the nose and there won’t be a next time.

This post was all about hostile body language so that you will know it when you see it and either prepare yourself or address it accordingly.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

2. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

6. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

March 3, 2025March 3, 20256 Comments

‘Want to know how to distinguish curiosity vs nosiness? Here are all the differences you need to know about.

People often confuse curiosity for nosiness and vise versa. However, the two are very different.

In this post, you will learn all the differences of curiosity vs nosiness to enable you protect yourself from nosy people.

Once you learn these important life-secrets, you’ll better be able to avoid nosy people and bullies like the plague. Moreover, you’ll feel much freer to let your curiosity guide you to learning new things.

This post is all about curiosity vs nosiness to give you the knowledge to know the difference and to help you guard your own personal life against nosy people.

Curiosity vs nosiness

A fellow blogger and wonderful friend, Kym Gordon Moore, posted about the subject on her own blog. You can find her lovely and insightful post here.

So, what are the differences between the two?

1. Curiosity doesn’t violate anyone’s boundaries.

On the other hand, nosiness does.

In the words of Kym Gordon Moore, “Being nosy is prying into other people’s business, meddling, being intrusive, and snooping, oftentimes gossiping about what they find out,”
“…curiosity is more of a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and not about poking your nose in other people’s business for annoying reasons.”

Her statements were spot on, and I couldn’t agree more!

2. Curious people and those who are nosy do things differently.

In other words, a curious person doesn’t invade others’ privacy. A curious person is more interested in educational information. Therefore, they want to know more about how things work. They could care less about the personal lives of other people.

On the other hand, a nosy person will pry into your personal and private business. Moreover, they do it to get dirt on you to spread around.

A curious person will study educational materials. They won’t stick their nose into your business. However, a nosy person will snoop through your mail and your computer. If they can get access to all your social media passwords, don’t think they won’t do it.

Understand that bullies are such people. Why? Because they’re always and forever on the hunt for damaging information they can use against you.

3. Curiosity vs Nosiness:

Nosiness is invasive. Curiosity isn’t.

Nosy people will ask you questions about your personal business. Nothing is off limits to them because they love to make your private business theirs.

Moreover, if you refuse to answer, these people will claim that you have something to hide.
However, understand that this is how your bullies trick you. They use that line to coerce you into giving up the details.

What’s even worse is that you may feel compelled to tell your business just to keep from looking as if you are hiding something. Therefore, you cave in and go against your better judgement.

Again, you only answer the bullies’ questions, just to prove that you don’t have anything to hide and consequently, get yourself into trouble.

So, if you ever find yourself in this predicament, know that your refusal to answer isn’t about having anything to hide. It’s about some things just not being anyone else’s business. Therefore, realize that you have just as much right to privacy as the next person.

Bullies will also accuse you of being nosy when you’re only trying to learn something new.

For example, this happened to me when I was a teenager. During History class, we were studying about World War II. I asked the teacher how it was that the German people fell for Hitler’s lies and all the news propaganda they were being fed.

For some reason, this angered many of my bullies, who were in class with me and they accused me of being nosy. Unfortunately, I fell for the lie and let it have a negative impact on my learning.

Therefore, it’s so important to learn the difference between curiosity and nosiness. Knowing this difference will make you able to counter bullies and busybodies with confidence.

Also, you’ll be able to confidently defend yourself any time some snake accuses you of being nosy when you’re only trying to become more educated on a certain topic.

4. Curiosity vs Nosiness:

They have two different meanings.

Curiosity is a desire to learn something new that enhances one’s intellect and broadens one’s education. It includes reading, researching, studying, observing, and listening for information that can make you more intelligent and help you grow.

Moreover, curiosity is non-invasive and non-intrusive. It does not seek to violate personal boundaries nor to cause harm.

Nosiness, on the other hand, is prying in other people’s personal business. It includes meddling, snooping, asking personal questions, and eavesdropping. Nosiness is invasive and intrusive. It seeks to violate another’s personal boundaries and to cause harm to them.

Therefore, learn these differences by heart and you will be better able to counter bullies in any of the above-mentioned scenarios.

5. Curiosity seeks to help. Nosiness seeks to harm.

You may have a nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life. Maybe you deal with the workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do. You might even have a spying neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window to see who’s coming and going at your house.

Whatever the scenario, these kinds of people can be a real hemorrhoid if you’re the type who only wants to be left alone and live in peace.

However, here’s the silver lining to having nosy neighbors. If you have a burglar breaking into your house, the nosy neighbor will be the first to see it and call the cops. Therefore, in those cases, thank God for nosy neighbors because they do serve a great purpose!

However most nosy people have no inhibitions when it comes to prying. They’ll ask you how much you get paid at your job. They also try to find out the cost of your rent or mortgage? And when they do, it’ll likely shock the daylights out of you.

However, you don’t have to answer these types of questions. You can politely tell them that they’re was getting too personal. Or, you can say that you don’t share such private information with anyone, not even your family members.

And when you do, they won’t like it. However, that shouldn’t concern you. You have a right to maintain your privacy.

Curiosity vs Nosiness:

Why do bullies pry into your private business?

These types of people have a lot of nerve. The questions they ask will make you cringe! They often leave you scratching your head because you just can’t believe anyone would be so brazen.

However, there’s a reason why bullies ask you these types of questions. They do it strictly for power.

In other words, their gossip, butting-in, and having a constant nose stuck in your life is a form of attempted control. Bullies will often ask you these kinds of questions to embarrass or humiliate you.

Therefore, anybody who openly asks you such questions has no respect for you and you should deal with them accordingly. Also, because they can’t seem to control their own lives, they wish to control yours. And they do it for nothing more than to cause an annoyance or embarrassment.

People who are nosy will watch you closely and eavesdrop on your conversations. They always have an ear cocked. Around them, the walls have ears.

On the other hand, those who are curious will read a lot, they’re study, and they’ll ask questions that do not violate anyone’s privacy.

How should you respond to nosy people who ask questions they shouldn’t ask?

First off, don’t let it upset you if a bully or anyone else has the audacity to ask you anything about your private business. Instead, just laugh and make fun of them. And while you’re laughing and making fun of them, enjoy it!

Understand that bullies have more nerve than a bad tooth. Therefore, expect them to pry into your business. Moreover, expect them to openly ask you personal, even embarrassing questions.

You might as well prepare for it now because people like these are everywhere!
Nosiness tends to be generational and run in families.

Many nosy folks were raise by parents who were the same way. Some even had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

Therefore, blow them off and wave them away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

Don’t get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them. Because it’s these types who really need to get a life and often don’t have one. Or, if you’re a smart-ass like I am, take the opportunity to have a little fun with the person. Just catch it, throw it back at them and shame them with it.

And why not? They asked for it.

On the other hand, you should admire someone who’s curious. Why? Because they don’t intrude. They only have a desire to learn and grow.

This post was all about curiosity vs nosiness so that you’ll be able to tell the difference between the two and use the information to protect yourself.

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2. Confidence vs Arrogance

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by

5. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t