Tag: abuse

abuse

benefits of setting boundaries at work

Benefits of Setting Boundaries

Leave a comment

‘Want to know the benefits of setting boundaries? It just may surprise you. If you only knew what those advantages are, you’ll definitely be more motivated to establish limits with others

benefits of setting boundaries

When you set boundaries, you communicate to people what you will and will not tolerate from them. Also, you let them know what consequences they can expect if they violate those boundaries.

Anytime you establish boundaries, chance are that people will understand where your limits are and they’ll likely adapt their behavior. However, people who are human predators won’t acknowledge your boundaries and may even see them as a challenge.

In this post, you will learn all the benefits of setting boundaries. Also, you’ll learn how to deal with people who refuse to respect those limits.

Once you learn about all this essential life-tips, you will be more compelled to set boundaries without fear nor guilt. Moreover, you’ll be brave enough to stand up to those who cross the line.

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries and how to enforce those boundaries so that you can live a peaceful life without any disruptions.

The Benefits of Setting Boundaries

So, what are the benefits of setting boundaries?

1. You get to know yourself better.

In other words, you have a greater sense of identity. You won’t be afraid to be yourself.  Moreover, you’ll know who you are and what you want. And there’s so much more that comes with it.

You get to know your likes and dislikes and, more importantly, the things you will and will not tolerate.

When you finally come to know yourself, the level of self-acceptance will be off the charts! You’ll learn to embrace your own thoughts, beliefs and convictions.

In that, you realize that everyone is different and no two people are the same. Therefore, you give yourself permission to also be different. Moreover, you’ll be okay with making mistakes. Let’s face it, we all make those!

This is such sweet freedom!

2. You begin loving yourself more.

The more you love yourself, the least likely you are to put up with anyone’s BS. Moreover, you’ll least likely be afraid to go after what you want.

This could be a great paying job or better relationships.

Also, you’ll be less likely to worry about what others think of you. Why? Because you’ll know that you’re a great person no matter what anyone else says.

Loving yourself means treating yourself well. And how you treat yourself defends on how you let others treat you. Boundaries (or lack of) are the way you teach others how to treat you.

Moreover, they signal to others whether or not you respect yourself. And if you don’t give yourself respect, chances are that no one else will either. Instead, they’ll only use you as a doormat.

Therefore, once you begin setting boundaries, you’ll learn to love and respect yourself more. As a result, others may adjust their attitudes and behavior and begin giving you respect.

Do you know what the best part is? You’ll be willing to drop anyone who sticks so much as a toe over your boundaries. And you’ll do it without guilt.

Therefore, you’ll earn respect not only from yourself but others as well.

3. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You Skyrocket your confidence and self-esteem.

In other words, you’ll like yourself. You’ll also have a better attitude about life and the world around you. Also, self-doubt won’t even be an issue. Instead, you’ll trust yourself to make the right life-choices.

You’ll be confident in your abilities and in your effect on others. In turn, those around you will be more confident in you. The best part is that , you’ll be okay with your flaws and limitations. Therefore, others most likely won’t pay attention to them either.

Moreover, you’ll believe in yourself and know without a doubt that you can get to anywhere you want to go. And if anyone tries to tell you that you can’t do something, you’ll be that much more determined to get it done!

You won’t allow bullies to plant seeds of doubt in your mind.

Instead, you’ll only deep your heels in deeper and double down on your efforts to complete your goals. You’ll use your bullies, haters and naysayers as your rocket fuel! And you’ll put in the work and overcome the obstacles to attain that goal.

When you raise your self-esteem, you won’t fear taking on new challenges and trying new things. In fact, you will be excited to do so!

And lastly, you will know your worth and have a deeper sense of security!

4. You’ll Reduce your stress levels.

Life won’t stress you out as much because you’ll be more relaxed. In other words, you won’t let life’s little annoyances get to you. As a result, you’ll be more successful at solving problems.

In other words, you’ll be able to work through adversity and stare trouble in the face. You’ll even have patience because you’ll be confident that everything will work out eventually.

Social anxiety will be a thing of the past because you will be comfortable in your own skin. Again, this comes from not caring what others think of you.

5. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll increase your productivity.

Your productivity will automatically rise because you’ll be able to make time to work on your own goals. You’ll use that time wisely, making every second count.

At the same time, you’ll allow yourself rest periods and avoid overworking yourself. And you’ll put your priorities first, then take care of others.

6. You’ll value your solitude a lot more.

In other words, you won’t be afraid to be alone. Why? Because you’ll understand that being alone doesn’t be being lonely. Instead, you’ll value solitude because you’ll be able to focus on your tasks and get more done.

7. You’ll be able to focus more on your goals.

Again, when you set boundaries, you will accomplish more because you’ll have higher mental focus.

8. You’ll enjoy better relationships.

Why? Because because others will more likely respect your boundaries. Moreover, you won’t be afraid to get rid of those who don’t.

Therefore, you’ll have less bullies, abusers, and users in your life.

And the best part is that you’ll attract even more healthy people into your life. Remember that like attracts like.

9. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You’ll keep your circle small.

In other words, you’ll be satisfied with only a handful of friends. Popularity will no longer matter to you.

To you, quality will matter more than quantity. Therefore, you’ll enjoy relationships that are much more rewarding!

10. You’ll take care of your health and hygiene.

You’ll make it a point to shower or bathe regularly. Moreover, you’ll eat well and make sure to exercise to maintain your strength and endurance.

You’ll also get plenty of rest. You’ll be sure to dress your best and look your best. Why? Because when you look good, you feel good!

You’ll also give yourself permission to take breaks from tasks if you need to.

11. Benefits of setting boundaries:

You won’t be afraid to enforce those boundaries.

Setting personal boundaries is one thing, but enforcing them is another.

Enforcing personal boundaries is much riskier than setting them. This is because, when you set boundaries, you’re only letting people know what they are. Therefore, the only risk to you is of someone challenging those boundaries.

On the other hand, enforcing your boundaries means that you impose consequences to anyone arrogant enough to cross them. Therefore, you understand that once a bully or abuser steps over your boundaries, then, it’s time to enforce them.

And you’re not afraid to do that. In fact, you’re willing to take that risk to protect your peace of mind.

When you do, no amount of guilt trips or manipulation will sway you. You warned them, they didn’t believe you, and you realize that the only way they’ll take you seriously is to make believers out of them.

Therefore, you’ll do what you have to do to let the creeps know that you mean business. You’ll be willing to impose consequences, whether through fisticuffs or sending their butts to the door and telling them never to come back.

12. Benefits of Setting Boundaries:

You’ll have improved mental and emotional health.

Because you enjoy healthier relationships with people who love and respect you and you score accomplishment after accomplishment, your emotional and mental health will drastically improve!

Put all these things together and your life can only improve!

In conclusion

Setting boundaries is important for a happy and peaceful life. Therefore, you must not be afraid to keep the bullies and jerks out. Remember that you have one life to live and it’s way too short. Therefore, love yourself enough to do what you must do to protect your peace.

Stop allowing yourself to be a dumping ground for other people’s problems. Take care of yourself. Focus on your goals and priorities. And more importantly, set boundaries and reap the rewards that come afterward!

This post is all about the benefits of setting boundaries to motivate you to set your own and take your life back.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

4. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

Confidence vs Arrogance

2 Comments

‘Want to know the difference between confidence vs arrogance? Here are the differences you need to know about, especially if you’re a victim of bullying and abuse.

confidence vs arrogance

Many people get the two confused. Why? Because others conditioned them to believe that even the smallest shred of confidence is arrogance and that it’s bad.

Sadly, bullies and abusers condition victims that confidence is negative. Also, you can be misguided in thinking such by people who are well-meaning but don’t know better.

Why? Because they were also taught such things. Others conditioned them to believe that confidence, self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion were arrogance. Then, they passed it onto you.

Moreover, they were taught that they were bad people for having those treasures. Also, the abusers in their lives manipulated them into believing that they never deserved to have those traits.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the difference between confidence and arrogance so that you understand the differences.

Once you learn how the two differ, you will have an understanding of the distinctions. Also, you’ll be better able to resist being brainwashed when bullies attack your confidence and try to convince you that it’s bad.

This post is all about confidence vs arrogance so that you can hold on to your confidence when bullies try to attack you for it.

Confidence vs Arrogance

So, what’s the difference?

1. Confidence is healthy.

It’s never shy nor boastful. It’s that happy and healthy middle between low self-esteem and smugness.

Therefore, when a person is confident, they don’t have to trumpet their own importance and they don’t have to show off. Confidence isn’t loud or obnoxious, it’s quiet.

A confident person doesn’t boast or brag because they don’t have to. They know their value and all the good they bring to this world. They already know their own importance. Confidence is seen and not heard because it’s there.

Confident people believe they’re equal to everyone else. They believe they’re no better than anyone but just as good.

Therefore, they are kind to others and allow them to be themselves and do their own thing. However, a confident person is also assertive. They aren’t afraid to set firm boundaries and lay down the law if another person sticks so much as a toe over their boundaries.

A confident person, doesn’t let his confidence effect the way he treats people.

Why? Because he believes that everyone has a right to respect and dignity.

I want you to know that it’s okay to be confident and to be comfortable in your own skin. Moreover, it’s okay to have respect for yourself and to love yourself.

And thirdly, it’s okay to indulge in self-care and to tell some creep to go to hell if they get abusive with you. So, be confident!

Know that you can have confidence without being a pompous stuffed shirt. Know your worth and that you deserve to be treated well and with love and respect.

2. Confidence vs Arrogance:

Arrogance is unhealthy

In fact, it’s toxic! Arrogance is extreme.

In other words, it’s loud and obnoxious. When a person is arrogant, they’re full of themselves. An arrogant person makes sure that everyone around them knows how important they are because they feel they must announce it to the world.

Arrogance is like a peacock; it shows all it’s pretty colors and expects people to notice and give it recognition. However, it’s boastful because it’s insecure, and craves attention, admiration, and adoration.

An arrogant person believes he’s superior.

They treat people they deem inferior like dirt. Moreover, they’ll go out of their way to bully them and let them know who’s boss.

An arrogant person either doesn’t recognize boundaries, or he resents them. In other words, he believes that he should have carte blanche to violate another person’s boundaries.

Also, he gets highly pissed if the person he bullies has the gall to stand up to him.

Therefore, an arrogant person is a self-entitled, egotistical, self-satisfied turd who uses his attractive qualities to compensate for insecurity, cowardice, and weakness.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Regardless of what others have taught you, there’s a difference.

If other people have taught you the confidence is conceit, understand that they fed you nothing but lies. Confidence, basic self-respect, self-love, and self-compassion are not arrogant. Moreover, they aren’t selfish.

What they are is essential– essential for good mental health and a good life. They’re crucial for happiness and fulfillment

Realize that when someone attacks your confidence by accusing you of being arrogant or self-centered, it’s not about you. It’s really about them and always has been.

Why? Because they only do it to keep you down by making you feel less than them.

They do it because, deep down, they feel small. So, they feel they must push you down into the pits of low self-esteem so they can feel superior. Therefore, these people, who are really bullies, believe they must break your spirit to uplift theirs.

Oh, but wait! Here’s something else to think about here: maybe bullies and abusers drum this garbage into your head because they’re afraid. That’s right!

Could it be that bullies and abusers attack your confidence out of fear?

They’re frightened that if you manage to attain that precious confidence that you were born with, then you just might grow a pair of coconuts! In other words, you’re more likely to develop the spinal column to tell them where they can stick it and drop them like a bad habit!

Realize that this is about power. Moreover, it’s about making sure they keep you in your place, so they don’t risk losing their power over you.

Confidence vs Arrogance Or Confidence vs Egotism

Arrogance and egotism are close cousins. The confusion between confidence and egotism is also quite common. However, there are ways to distinguish between confidence and egotism.

Before I go further, let me start by saying that we all have egos. However, the trick is in how we handle them.

Here are the differences between confidence and egotism.

  • Confidence is quiet. Egotism, like arrogance, is loud and boastful.
  • The former doesn’t have to boast because it already knows its value. The latter, on the other hand, must constantly remind others of its value.
  • Confidence is teachable. Whereas, egotism is not. It kills the capacity to learn because it thinks it already knows everything there is to know.
  • Confidence leads to growth. Egotism can only lead to stagnation and eventual destruction.

Two Opposites

Princess Diana, during her latter years, was the perfect example of confidence. Once she saw her worth, she traveled the world, helping the less fortunate.

On the other hand, Hitler was an example of egotism. His overinflated ego led to the destruction and loss of millions of innocent lives. His overstuffed ego produced intense hatred for all Jews and anyone else he saw as his enemy.

As we know, bullies aren’t confident, they’re egotistical. Again, we all have egos. However, not all of us have egotism. Therefore, egotism is bad because it often stems from negative feelings of anger, guilt, jealousy, insecurity, and fear.

Moreover, it’s the reason bullies often target those based on their weaknesses, the lower role they play and their stations in life.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Promotes Equality while Egotism Promotes Division

Confident people treat the janitor or the security guard with the same respect they would give the company president or the CEO. In contrast, egotistical bullies only will only mistreat the janitor and security guard while sucking up to the president and the CEO.

A confident person gives kindness and respect to those who can do nothing for him. In other words, he treats everyone equally regardless of difference or position. Ego-driven bullies only abuse those who can’t benefit them somehow.

Those who are confident have selfless motives and doesn’t care who you are as long as you’re a decent and moral person.

However, those who are ego-driven bullies are self-serving. With these types of personalities, it’s all about fame and name.

Putting ego aside means respecting those whom society deems beneath you and giving them the same human value. It means making an effort to understand those who are different from you and doing your best to help them as you would those most like you.

Egotism is when ego overrides humanity and places it in grave danger, whereas, confidence helps and saves it.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Confidence Saves Humanity, Egotism Destroys it.

Sadly, I’ve worked with people who were great people to get along with. But once they got that coveted promotion, they became people I no longer recognized.

Bullies often spend money beyond their means to buy expensive clothes and cars, trying to look like they’re better off than everyone else. However, this is a sure hallmark of egotism.

Unfortunately, many bullies get deep in debt and sometimes resort to thievery to get out of it. As a result, they end up in legal trouble, which is an example of the self-destruction that egotism can bring.

Therefore, be aware of these signs in other people. And be confident, but know where the line between confidence and egotism lies.

“Who do you think you are!”

Have you ever had people seemingly mistake your confidence for conceit? Or worse, get offended by it? And you knew it but never understood why?

Heaven forbid you actually have even a minuscule amount of self-esteem and take pride in your accomplishments.

Sadly, we live in a world that’s insecure, self-conscious, and unhappy. Therefore, there will be people who resent your spirit and your happiness.

Understand that environments that are very toxic and the toxic people within them have an intense hatred of those who are cheerful and have a strong sense of self.

Bullies are such people. But realize that, though they’d tell you differently, bullies aren’t happy people. They can’t be because anyone who’s truly happy wouldn’t try to make others feel lousy.

Moreover, they wouldn’t resent the happiness, confidence, or successes of others.

Confidence vs arrogance:

Arrogance and egotism will try to tear down confidence.

I’ve dealt with these types of people- people who resented my confidence. Moreover, this was confidence that I’d worked hard to rebuild after having been severely bullied.

You could see it written all over their faces- the scowls, how their eyes would narrow and turn into slits! Their brows would furrow anytime they saw a smile on  anyone else’s face.

Can you imagine what they were thinking? You can just hear it.

“The nerve! The audacity! The chutzpah!”

You probably hear the remarks too.

“She thinks too highly of herself and needs to be brought down a notch or two!”

“He’s an arrogant jerk!”

“She’s so uppity!”

“He loves himself too much!”

“She needs to bring herself down to earth with the rest of us!”

I could go on and on.

Confidence vs Arrogance:

Your confidence will offend some.

Many people act as if being confident and loving yourself is wrong. The message you get is that it’s “selfish.” Also, some will tell you that you need to climb down off your high horse.

Maybe they say that you’ve gotten too big for your britches. They try to make you think that having confidence in yourself is something to be ashamed of.

You can practically hear your bullies shout in the style of Greta Thunberg, ”How dehhhhh you!”

Bullies tend to think that if you have pride in yourself, you’re sanctimonious. However, it’s okay for them to have it.

In their minds, confidence and pride should be reserved only for them and people like them. But woe unto you if you have even an ounce of self-value and to believe in yourself.

Therefore, continue to have confidence! There’s nothing wrong with it! Moreover, do whatever you must do to maintain it! Confidence is something you must guard with your life!

This post is all about the difference between confidence vs arrogance so that you can have the knowledge to rebuff any bullies who try to gaslight you into believing that being confident is wrong.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. How to Overcome Self Doubt: 7 Easy Mind Hacks to Achieve Success

bullying and banter examples

Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

16 Comments

‘Want to know the differences between bullying and banter? Here are the most common distinctions you need to know about.

bullying and banter

In many situations, it’s tough to know the difference between bullying and banter. Are they laughing with you or at you? You may wonder.

In this post you will learn how to tell the differences between bullying and banter. Also, you’ll learn how to respond to bullies who try to make their bullying look like harmless fun.

Once you learn all these characteristics and how to tell them apart just by experiencing them, you will be better able to defend yourself when bullies try to disguise their abuse as teasing.

This post is all about the differences between bullying and banter and exactly what you can do to counter it.

Bullying and banter

“Can’t you take a joke!”

Bullies are notorious for that line when targets speak out and call them out on their abuse. It’s the most manipulative and dangerous, and popular excuse for crappy behavior.

Why? Because it uses social pressure to make you out to be a party pooper who doesn’t know how to relax and have a good time.

In other words, bullies use this old, worn-out comeback to cover themselves. Also, they employ this tactic to dupe bystanders and witnesses into believing that the abuse was just playful banter.

What’s worse is that it makes you look and feel like some dysfunctional whiner who’s just too sensitive and needs to lighten up.

But how do you know the difference between bullying and banter? Here are your answers:

1. There’s a power imbalance

With bullying, there’s always a power imbalance, and harm is intended. Also, the relationship is always harmful and abusive.

On the other hand, there’s no power imbalance with banter. In other words, each person is always on equal social footing with each other.

Banter is done strictly among friends, family members- people with equal power. There’s no harm intended, and people who exchange banter have a positive and fulfilling relationship.

2. In banter, people respect you enough to stay away from your “no-go zones”

Your “no-go zones” are often called your hot buttons or triggers. These are things that you’re insecure, embarrassed, or ashamed of.

Also, they can be any adverse experiences you’ve had in the past.

In banter, people know to stay away from those areas and won’t bring them up. Moreover, banter is never threatening to the other person.

Whereas, if it’s bullying, bullies will deliberately zero in on things they know you’re insecure about and will only continue to bring them up in front of an audience when they see that you’re upset.

3. The Difference between bullying and banter:

It all comes down to how it makes you feel and your relationship with the other person! 

If nothing else, know this! Anyone you have a negative or hostile relationship with does NOT get the privilege to banter or joke with you! Ever!

Understand that banter is only reserved for the people you feel good about! Because they know your triggers and remember never to go near those tender areas!

4. Always read the person’s nonverbal body language

If the person is smirking and snickering instead of genuinely smiling and laughing out loud, that’s a sign of contempt, and it’s more than likely bullying instead of banter.

Sadly, anytime the bully plays the “Can’t-You-Take-A-Joke” card, it’s too easy for you to get caught off guard. This often leaves you speechless or paralyzed with humiliation.

Many victims end up so upset they walk away feeling indignant. Why?  Because it’s sometimes difficult to adequately address the bully’s comeback without them gaslighting you and making you feel even lower!

How to Address This Kind of Bullying

Therefore, here is the perfect way to clap back at a bully who claims to be playing or joking. And, once you do this, you’ll walk away feeling great about yourself and that you handled it like a boss!

Bullying and Banter – Bullies Don’t get to Banter with you!

Shut them down by saying:

“Only my friends can joke with me like that! You’re not my friend, so you need to back off!”

Or,

“Newsflash! I don’t like you! You’re not my friend! So, you don’t get to say that, I don’t give a __ if you’re playing or not!”

And say it like you mean it! Then watch the bully pathetically slink away with their tail tucked between their legs! It has worked for me, and it’ll work for you too!

Harmless teasing,  playful banter, and comedy are all okay with people you feel good around. Sadly, it’s something that seems to be dying out today.

Too many people get triggered anymore by anything. And bullies seem to be the very people who are easily triggered and are constantly looking for something to get offended over.

However, there’s a difference between harmless teasing and cruel jokes. It’s normal to be offended over cruel jokes because they can be harmful.

Bullying and Banter:

What’s the difference between harmless teasing and cruel jokes?

1. Cruel jokes poke fun of things you’re insecure about, such as your height, weight, nose and ear size, and other hot spots.

Harmless teasing stays away for those hot spots.

2. Cruel jokes continue even after you express hurt and discomfort.

Harmless teasing immediately stops if there’s even the slightest hint that you’re uncomfortable with it.

In short, harmless teasing is harmless and done all in good fun. Cruel jokes, on the other hand, can be damaging to a person’s self-esteem and should be avoided.

Bullying and Banter:

Are they laughing with you or at you?

Many targets are abused for so long that they simply lose trust in people and withdraw from everyone. Also, in social situations, many targets mistakenly assume that those they’re with are laughing at them when they’re really laughing with them.

Make this mistake and it can cause a rift between you and someone who’s a well-meaning friend. This is the last thing you want!

So, how can you tell whether someone is laughing with you or at you?

Here’s how:

1. Laughing with you

There’s always eye contact.

In other words, the person is looking at you and interacting with you while laughing. Moreover, you have a good relationship with the person and there’s no power imbalance. In other words, the person sees you as an equal and you know it.

Laughing at you

There’s absolutely no eye contact.

In fact, the person is looking around at everyone else but you while laughing. Also, you do not have a good relationship with the person. There may or may not be bad history between you and the person.

Therefore, here’s your cue to tell this person that if they think it’s a joke, it’s not and that they need to step all the way off!

2. Laughing with you

The person doesn’t hold the laughter in. Instead, the laughter happens automatically and spontaneously.

Laughing at you

The laughter usually pauses first. And they don’t laugh out loud but only snicker and snort. Some may cover their mouths while snickering.

Again, now’s the time to tell them to get bent.

3. Bullying and Banter: Laughing with you

How does the person treat you once the laughter is over? They’re generally good to you and they enjoy being around you.

Laughing at you:

On the other hand, the person treats you with contempt and they won’t hang around. They may even make a snide remark to you on their way out to go laugh at you behind your back.

Therefore, have nothing more to do with them.

It also depends on context.

4. Laughing with you

The laughter is deep and the person’s natural laugh.

Laughing at you

There’s “mocking laughter”, where the person imitates your laugh.

The person isn’t laughing because you’ve done anything wrong or foolish, or because there’s anything wrong with you. Instead, they’re laughing at you to bring you down.

Moreover, they’re doing it to boost their own social status or to feel better about themselves.

Therefore, tell this person exactly where they can go!

5. Bullying and Banter: Laughing with you

The person generally has good feelings toward you and is having fun or being playful.

Laughing at you

The person has a hostile and hurtful attitude toward you. They’re enjoying your pain, humiliation or weakness.

In conclusion:

The sooner you recognize these differences, the sooner you’ll avoid the wrong people. Moreover, the quicker you’ll be able to enjoy more rewarding relationships.

This is because you’ll be better able to recognize and avoid those who wish to inflict emotional harm. Moreover, you’ll have the confidence to stand up to them any time they get out of line with you.

And when your relationships flourish, just imagine the fun you’ll have with the people who truly love and care about you and how much better you’ll feel when you do!

This post was all about how to recognize bullying and banter so that you can respond appropriately and preserve your personal dignity.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

4. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

5. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

bullying within the family

Family Bullying: 9 Powerful Tips to Buffer Yourself Peacefully

2 Comments

‘Want to know how to protect yourself from family bullying and keep peace in the family? Here’s how to preserve your dignity while keeping down the drama.

family bullying

A school or workplace bully is hard enough to deal with. However, dealing with one in the family is an entirely different animal. It’s much worse because it’s a relative and there are ties to them. So, how do you go about refusing a family bully while preserving harmony among the members?

In this post, you will learn the best ways to buffer your self-esteem from the onslaught of bullying in the family and keep the peace.

Once you learn about all these methods, you will better be able to stand up to the bully, preserve your mental health, and save everyone else in the family a ton of drama.

This post is all about family bullying and what you can do to preserve peace not only for yourself but for the entire family.

Family bullying

Family bullying is much more common than most realize. Even the closest of families have that one person who loves to target a certain relative and create drama for everyone. This is a person who’s loud, obnoxious, rude, and can ruin many family outings and shindigs.

I can safely say that I’ve been lucky in this aspect. I’m extremely close to my family members and, in turn, they feel a closeness to me. Moreover, I’ve managed to avoid landing in the sights of the family drama queen/king.

However, from the many stories I’ve heard and articles I’ve read, many people aren’t as blessed.

Christmas is a time of joy and cheer. It’s the season of love, unity, and giving. From Christmas dinners, to gift exchanges, to playing fun games like “Bad Santa,” it’s the time of year when we spend the most time with our families.

However, with the coming holiday season also comes nervousness for many victims of bullying. Targets of a family bully are probably ringing their hands, wondering what to do should a situation arise during Christmas dinner.

Moreover, they’re wondering how they can stand up for themselves without subjecting all the relatives to one big shit show.

If you’re one of them, here are the best ways to refuse a bullying situation during family get-together without ruining a good time.

9 Tips You can use to Protect Yourself and the family from “That One” Relative.

1. Distance yourself from the family bully

Distancing yourself from the troublemaker can work wonders. This means sticking close to other relatives. For example, if it’s your mother who’s hosting Christmas dinner or any other shindig, you could stick close to her by helping her prepare the meal.

Helping with the preparations is one of THE best ways to protect yourself from the family bully because of three things:

1. You’re too busy helping to pay attention to any taunts and verbal assaults.

2. You’re raising your self-esteem by helping out because you’re making yourself useful to your mom. Moreover, you probably noticing the smile on her face as you make things easier for her. It’s psychologically rewarding when you’re able to help relieve someone else’s work and stress.

3. You’re the one helping Mom while the provocateur is standing around running their mouth and trying to stir up drama.

Therefore, you’re allowing the person to expose themselves and make a complete fool out of themselves without knowing it. Pretty good, huh?

2. How Handle Family Bullying:

surround yourself with other relatives who respect you.

Most bullies like to catch their victims alone. Therefore, when you surround yourself with other people who lift your spirits, you deter your harasser. Why? Because the last thing the instigator wants is to look like the bad guy, or worse, have someone else defend you against them.

Moreover, having other people who lift you up and like to have fun is a powerful distraction from the bully and their evil games. You’re too busy having fun with the other family members to give a hoot about the bully and their childish behavior.

Though this may cause the instigator to harass you even worse later, you’re enjoying yourself and the other relatives. Moreover, you’re turning what could be a showdown into a pleasant time for not only yourself but for everyone present.

3. To minimize the effects of family bullying, Defuse the provocateur’s behavior with humor.

In other words, when the instigator calls you a name or makes a derogatory statement toward you, make a joke of it. Or, you can just laugh about it.

Whichever route you choose, you’ll take the wind out of the bully’s sails. Also, the other relatives will get a chance to see just how calm, cool, and collected you are.

Moreover, you’ll expose the harasser for what they truly are and make them look like a fool.

4. avoid being alone with the family troublemaker.

Bullies love to catch you alone to intimidate you. Also, they thrive on silence and secrecy. They will catch you alone and insult you so that later, they can go to the other relatives and lie about you behind your back.

Not that they probably don’t do that anyway. However, if other relations happen to see you alone together, the more likely they are to believe the falsehoods. Therefore, avoid being caught alone and stick close to the others so that this has less chance of happening.

As mentioned in number one, busy yourself helping out around the house. This works wonders!

5. Another way to handle family bullying is to bring another family member to the festivities with you.

Rather than arriving at the holiday celebration alone, bring another family member with you or allow them to bring you. Again, being alone invites bullying but when you’re with someone else, chances of it goes way down.

When you’re with another family member, you’re not as vulnerable. Moreover, the instigator is less likely to mess with you.

Moreover, stick with that family member if you must. Your goal is to keep down any drama and, at the same time, protect yourself.

6. calmly call out their behavior.

This means calling out the troublemaker’s behavior by name.

 To call out bullying and abuse by name means knowing all the terms that are related to them. In other words, you must know terms such as “gaslighting,” “projection,” “distraction,” “defame,” “shaming,” and other such words. You must also know their meanings.

Knowing the names of the bad behavior the bully exhibits will help you call the bully out in a much more clear and intelligible manner. In other words, you won’t seem like you’re rambling.

Moreover, you will be much calmer and more at ease than you would be if you were desperately trying to find the words to describe this person’s actions.

If you haven’t yet learned all the words that describe different tactics of bullying and their definitions, it’s best that you learn them and know them by heart.

The last thing you won’t is for the bully to come back with something to make you look like the bad guy. Knowing this information lessens that likelihood.

7. Handling family bullying also means Refusing to fall for the silent treatment.

Many manipulators employ the silent treatment to get back control of their victims. This is a form of emotional manipulation. Therefore, don’t let it get to you.

The trick is to not care what they do. Or, you can look at the bright side of the silent treatment and welcome it.

In other words, see the silent treatment as the reprieve you’ve been looking for. This is the best way to turn the tables on the dealer of this type of humiliation.

The silent treatment can be a good thing because it means not having to listen to the instigator’s big mouth and the garbage they spew forth.

In other words, when people are avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them being under your butt or in your face all the time. Nobody bothers you, so that’s a huge plus!

Also, enjoy it while it lasts, because once the person catches on that you either don’t care or enjoy the silence, get ready for them to really act out. Therefore, ask yourself this. Who’s really in control, them or you?

So, who’s the one whose really in control here? You or them?

8. watch YOUR CHILDREN.

Sometimes, the bully will get their children to tease your kids. Therefore, keep an eye out. If the troublemaker’s children tease yours, calmly separate them from the other person’s kids.

9. leave and make other arrangements.

If all else fails. It’s best to leave and make other arrangements. Without you, the bully doesn’t have a target. Moreover, you can arrange a Christmas party at your home and invite the family, sans the troublemaker, of course.

And when they come to your place, host the best party for them that you can. After all, they’re your family and they deserve to have the best time you can give them.

So, be a good host/hostess for them.

This post was all about family bullying and what you can do to protect yourself and keep peace among your relatives.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

what constitutes bullying and harassment

What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4 Comments

‘Want to know what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t. Here are several examples of what it is and what it isn’t.

what constitutes bullying

It’s important to know how to distinguish bullying from incivility, differences of opinion, or healthy arguments and debates. Why? So that you can better point it out when you see it and without any confusion.

As someone who was a victim of bullying in the past and has researched it for almost thirty years, I’m giving you several examples of what is and isn’t bullying.

You will learn exactly what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t.

Once you learn these differences, you will be able to pinpoint a bullying situation more accurately and with less difficulty than before.

This post is all about what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t so that you can know if people are, in fact, bullying you or if you’re witnessing someone else being bullied.

What Constitutes Bullying

People use the term “bullying” so widely today. In fact, many misuse and abuse it. People throw the word around loosely, sticking it’s label to situations that do not fit its use.

In other words, many are too quick to stick the “bully” label on anyone who says anything they don’t like. Moreover, people also mistakenly call anyone who disagrees with them “a bully.”

As a result, this has caused so much confusion as to what is bullying and what is only rudeness, argument, debate, being a jerk or voicing an individual opinion.

Therefore, I feel an obligation to point out the definition of bullying and to clarify what truly is and is NOT bullying.

The Definition of bullying:

Bullying – an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening (https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/)

In other words, bullying is unwanted aggression that is repeated, over a long period of time, against the same individual target or targeted group because of an imbalance of power.

What constitutes bullying: Bullying has 5 Characteristics.

1. Power imbalance.

Bullying always thrives on an imbalance of power, with the bully usually having more power than their victim. For example, bigger bullies in school ride roughshod over victims much smaller. The power these bullies have over their victims is size and physical strength.

Another example would be the tyrannical manager at the office or a brutal county sheriff. The power the manager holds over his victim subordinates is his position in the company.

Moreover, his power is the fact that he holds their ability to feed themselves and their families in the palm of his hand. Therefore, he bullies those employees at will simply because he can and there’s nothing they can do about it without losing their jobs.

It’s the same with the bad sheriff. His position in the county government is his power and he can plant drugs in the vehicles of his targets and possibly ruin their lives.

So, who’s going to believe the targets when they claim innocence? Who’d take the word of a perceived criminal over an officer of the law? This is the power this sheriff holds. People know he’s evil, but they stay out of his way to keep from becoming next on his list.

Therefore, bullying always involves a power imbalance. Also, the bully is ALWAYS the one with the most power.

2. Repetition.

The bullying aggression is repeated. Moreover, they are repeated over long periods of time (anywhere from several weeks to several years). And because bullying goes on over time, it also escalates if it goes unchecked.

3. What Constitutes Bullying:

Seeks to do harm.

Bullying seeks to deliberately hurt it’s victims. It not only harms them physically, but also psychologically and emotionally. It tears down confidence, crushes self-esteem, and ruins the lives of many innocent people. It’s just what it’s designed to do.

4. It targets the same victim.

Bullying singles out one target or targeted group. Therefore, bullies carry out repeated acts against these targets over time. This aggression only ends when the targets leave the bullies’ environment either by relocation, transfer, or death.

5. The repeated aggression persists for a long time (over several weeks, months, or years).

Bullies repeat harmful acts of aggression against their targets over the long haul. Moreover, it lasts for weeks, months, or years until the targets somehow leave the bullying environment and are no longer within the bullies’ reach.

Therefore, in short, the bully has more power than the victim. Moreover, the person must carry on repeated acts of unwanted and harmful aggression against the same victim over a long period.

What constitutes bullying and what doesn’t

 

Bullying is often confused with:

1. Disagreements, arguments, and debates

Disagreements aren’t bullying because everyone disagrees- couples, siblings, parents may disagree with children and do, quiet often.

In other words, someone who doesn’t agree with you is not bullying you. They only have a difference of opinion or perspective. Understand that we all have different life experiences, backgrounds and belief systems.

Though it doesn’t always feel good when someone disagrees with us, it still isn’t bullying.

However, it would become bullying is if you begin repeatedly singling out the person who disagreed with you and launched a two-month-long string of ad homonym attacks. Then you would be the bully for doing that.

Therefore, we must learn to accept each other’s differences.

2. Someone says something you don’t like or voices an opinion you don’t like.

This isn’t bullying. People say things others don’t like every day, but it doesn’t make them bullies.

For example, a person is voicing an opinion. When someone asks them if what they think of their new next-door neighbor, the person answers by saying,

“I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

Again, this is NOT bullying. It’s only voicing an opinion.

However, if the person continued this behavior for a length of time and smeared the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood in an attempt to turn everyone against her, then yes! It is bullying.

3. What constitutes Bullying and what doesn’t:

Misunderstandings

Here’s another example. If a 6’5” tall and muscular knucklehead on the street bumps into you and says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. This isn’t bullying either.

Is the person a total jackass? Absolutely.

Does he think you might have run into him on purpose? Probably. However, he isn’t necessarily a bully.

Now,  what if he deliberately ran into you and shot his mouth off to you every day, every time he saw you on the street? Also, what if he made a habit of it by continuing to harass you?

Then, the answer is yes! He would be a bully. Because he would be using his size and height to intimidate you and he’d be repeating the behavior every day, only against you but no one else.

4. Stubbornness

For example, if I warned my next door neighbor that one of the tires on his car is low and he waved me away like shooing a fly. He wouldn’t be a bully. A stubborn ox, maybe. But not a bully.

5. what Constitutes Bullying and what doesn’t:

Incivility and jerky behavior

For example, a driver pulls out in front of me on the road, I slam on my breaks and blare my horn at him and he flips me off.

Nevertheless, it doesn’t make him a bully. Does it, however, make him an asshole? Absolutely, but not a bully.

Moreover, if two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s not bullying Even if the argument is heated.

Only when one of the arguers resort to repeatedly (notice I said, repeatedly) calling their opponent names and shaming them because they don’t agree nor share their beliefs, and the harassment goes on for a long time, against the same opponent! That, my friends, is bullying!

To prevent innocent people from being labeled as bullies, we MUST get clear on exactly what it is that constitutes bullying! Only then will we be able to apply it to those who are truly deserving of the label.

In Conclusion

Bullying has become a blanket term for many people to describe anyone who says, does, or believes anything they don’t find comfortable. This is wrong and must stop because not only will the terms bully and bullying lose their meanings, but bullies will only continue to fade into the crowd while innocent people end up with a label they don’t deserve stuck to them.

Moreover, the words bullying and bully are beginning to lose their meaning because people abuse and misuse the term today now more than ever.

Understand that people say things without thinking. Some say foolish stuff and others are quite distasteful with their words and actions. However, this doesn’t necessarily make them bullies. Jerks, yes. But not bullies. Bullying is abuse. Being a jerk, on the other hand, is just being foolish and not thinking.

This post is all about what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t so that you can better distinguish between bullying and AssHolery, stubbornness or debating.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

3. The 4 Stages of Bullying

4. Bullies in School: 5 Ways They Tell Off on Themselves Without Realizing It

5. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

the explaining trap explained

The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

7 Comments

‘Want to know why your bullies set the explaining trap for you and how you should respond to it? Here are several reasons they use this tactic and what you can do to blow them off and save your energy.

the explaining trap

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into falling into the explaining trap. It’s a trap because, no matter how you much you explain things to the bullies, they will only pretend not to understand. Moreover, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the explaining trap, why bullies use it, and what you can do to shut them down.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to confidently stonewall them. And the best part is that you’ll save your time and energy for better things.

This post is all about the explaining trap and what you can do to protect yourself from bullies and abusers who use it.

The Explaining Trap

Most things don’t need an explanation. Yet, bullies are good at getting their victims to explain themselves on things that don’t need to be explained.

Worst of all, victims of bullying don’t know how not to get sucked into needlessly explaining themselves. Therefore, they end up wasting their breath on people who aren’t worthy of their time or consideration.

As a result, they end up making themselves even bigger targets and get stuck in endless cycles of having to explain their every move.

This can become exhausting and, not to mention, dis-empowering! Therefore, you must realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

Why do Bullies use this evil technique?

1. To throw you off-balance

Again, bullies love to trick you into explaining yourself. However, no matter how much you explain, the bullies will only act as if they don’t understand your explanation. Or, they simply won’t accept it, no matter how logical it may be.

Moreover, your bullies will keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trap! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

2. The Explaining Trap

To gather ammunition with which to fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more chances they have to reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you sooner or later.

Moreover, they may use this psychological weaponry either the next day, or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

3. To trip you up

Oftentimes, when bullies dupe you into explaining anything to them, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, chances are that you won’t be able to keep your story straight, no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

So, What do you do?

In other words, how do you respond to this tactic intelligently and with strength?

There are several smart ways to respond to the explaining trap.

1. “You know what you did.”

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

You want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Realize that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! In fact, you don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.

2. “You know when it happened.”

You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

The trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. In other words, use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Because, again, you don’t owe them shit!

3. the explaining trap:

“Stop Pretending you don’t know what you did.”

This response is especially good! Why? Because, not only are you not explaining anything to them, you’re also calling out what your bullies are trying to do. And they’re trying to play you – to pretend they don’t know what they did to piss you off.

Therefore, you keep the upper hand with this comeback. Even better, you keep your self-respect and dignity.

4. “Just Stop it!”

This is another smart response. It’s short, it’s to the point, and it’s only three little words! Moreover, you’re setting a boundary any time you say “Stop.”

Also, you can say this if your bullies continue to ask more questions. With this response, you immediately cut off any further manipulation. In fact, you stop it dead in it’s tracks!

And, once you say it, put up your hand and walk away.

5. “What Are You? Five?”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like fools!

Therefore, you win!

6. The Explaining Trap:

“Do I Have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like clueless dingbats. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and make them look stewwwwpid!

However, most victims, sadly, miss that opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.

7.”Just get out of here.”

This is a good comeback because it tells the bullies that you won’t allow them to manipulate you. Moreover, it also lets them know that you don’t want them around. And, if witnesses are around to see it, it only makes it that much better!

Another great thing about this response is that you can modify it to suit your particular style of communication. You can substitute it with, “Get lost,” “Hit the road,” “Get bent,” and much more.

8. You can even choose not to respond verbally.

In other words, you can only use body language to get your point across. All you have to do is eyeball your bullies while standing straight and tall with your neck lengthened.

Show your bullies through your eyes and body language that you won’t put up with their crap. Then, walk away.

If you do this, I guarantee you that they’ll get your point loud and clear!

9. The Explaining Trap:

Sometimes, You can just not respond at all.

You can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work. Sometimes it does and sometimes not. It depends on the personality types you’re dealing with.

For instance, if you’re dealing with a person with narcissistic personality disorder, this definitely won’t work. So, use good judgement.

This post was all about the explaining trap and how you can respond so that you can recognize it when you bullies use it on you and deal with it intelligently.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. What is a Crybully and How Do You Spot One?

4. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

5. Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

the psychological effects of gaslighting

Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

4 Comments

‘Want to know the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you can better protect yourself against it? Here are the proven impacts gaslighters inflict that you must know about.

psychological effects of gaslighting

The psychological effects of gaslighting are many and massive. When victims of bullying and abuse endure gaslighting, the abuser and their flying monkeys only victimize them twice.

In this post, you will learn all the psychological effects of gaslighting on victims so that you’ll have more motivation to protect yourself against it.

After learning about all these ramifications, you will be better able to defend yourself against the evil deeds of gaslighters. Moreover, you will be about to call it out and explain what you’re dealing with when you talk about it.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting so that you will better be able to explain to others what it does to victims.

Psychological effects of gaslighting

Before we get to the list, let’s touch on the goal of gaslighting and gaslighting tactics. Also, let’s preview how bullying and gaslighting impact your psyche.

Gaslighting is about wresting power and control over your mind. Bullies do this by undermining your reality. They minimize your thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Moreover, they deflect and shift blame to you. Also, they’re notorious for feigning concern over your (mental) well being.

Understand that this is how they weaponize compassion and goodwill.

Gaslighters are experts at twisting the truth and re-framing conversations. Additionally, they slyly use your reactions to their abuse against you.

Why? To discredit you by making you look as if you have a mental imbalance. You should never tolerate this kind of behavior.

When people inflict bullying and gaslighting on you, they objectify you. In other words, they use you as an inanimate object, a tool for gratification and a rush of power.

It is as if you only exist for other people’s purposes and not you own. Slowly, over time, it does damage to your mental health and if you’re not careful, you may never grow into a fully mature human being.

Consequently, you may begin to see yourself as the projected object the bullies deem you to be. When bullies notoriously gaslight you, they deliberately try to distort your reality.

Why? Because they themselves deny reality. Bullies and abusers deny facts, uncontested truths, and the concreteness of evidence.

Therefore, they try to make reality into an imaginary illusion when, in fact, reality is the opposite.

So, what happens when a bullies try to undermine your perception of reality?

They brainwash you and force you to see things from their point of view. I’ve met many kinds of people in my life. This includes gaslighters- enough of them to know their tactics and recognize them like the back of my hand.

11 Psychological effects of gaslighting

Here is a list of the ways gaslighting impacts victims.

1. Self-doubt

Gaslighting causes you to doubt yourself. Therefore, you doubt what you see, hear, feel and believe.

What gaslighters are best at is trying to make you doubt your sanity or your memory when you call out their bad behavior and evil deeds. Or, when you report them for bullying.

For example, when you tell them to stop bullying you or you report them, your bullies may tell you that “you took it wrong and that they were only trying to help you.” Moreover, they can accuse you of being “mentally imbalanced” or “having a bad memory.”

Also, they may say that you didn’t hear them correctly.

Here’s another example. Your bullies call you an ugly name and you counter them saying, “I’m not a (ugly name). However, they only come back with, “Well, if the shoe fits, wear it!”

Although you know the shoe doesn’t fit, understand that your bullies will do everything in their power to try and shoehorn it.

Therefore, see these derogatory names and remarks for what they’re designed to do. And that is to get you to doubt yourself.

Don’t allow gaslighters to do this to you. Again, see through the lies. You must use their lies to solidify your perception of reality instead of distort it. Instead of allowing them to weaken you, let them only increase your strength and resilience.

In other words, double down!

These are only a few examples. Here are many other gaslighting examples to be aware of, along with a list of counter-statements you can use to shut down gaslighting.

2. Psychological effects of gaslighting: You lose confidence in yourself.

Bullies will fool you into doubting your own goodness and importance.

Gaslighters will also instill doubt in your mind about the people who truly love you. They’ll tell you that your friends and family don’t even love you. Moreover, they’ll claim that the reason they don’t love you is because you’re unlovable.

Moreover, they’ll trick you into doubting your abilities. They do this by making hurtful statements such as, “You can’t do anything right.” Moreover, they may call you cruel names such as, “st*pid,” when you accidentally spill a glass of milk.

Understand that everyone makes mistakes and has accidents. Therefore, never let them break down your confidence in yourself.

Hold on to your confidence. Because without it, you might as well have nothing.

3. You adopt a sense of insecurity.

Enduring gaslighting can make you insecure. If you put up with it long enough, you’ll develop social anxiety and feel nervous around people.

As a result, this kills your social opportunities.

Therefore, keep your outgoing personality no matter how bullies may treat you. They just might be jealous of your friendly nature.

4. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Hyper vigilance

Hyper vigilance is an awareness of potential threats way beyond that which is normal. In other words, when a person is hyper vigilant, they’re overly alert. However, this is a trauma response and it’s not your fault if you suffer from it.

Many victims of bullying and abuse suffer from hyper vigilance after bullies and abusers have traumatized them for so long. The same thing happens when you endure gaslighting for any length of time.

This can only cause exhaustion and other physical ailments.

Again, it’s not your fault. Therefore, don’t blame yourself. Know that there are resources and people you can turn to for help. So, please. Check into those.

5. Distrust in yourself and others.

Victims of gaslighting neither trust themselves to make the right decisions nor do they trust others not to harm them. Therefore, they live a life of constantly looking out for potential threats.

This is understandable. After bullies and abusers have bullied and gaslighted you for so long, you tend to lose trust in everyone, including yourself.

How you begin trusting yourself again is to stop worrying what other people think, face the fear, and begin making your own decisions. Just do it.

Also, how you learn to trust others is to be selective in who you place your trust in. Watch people and learn what threatening body language looks like. Moreover, learn the body language of deception and negativity.

Once you learn all these things, you will be able to better judge who to trust and who not to.

6. Psychological effects of gaslighting: They begin having difficulty with decision making.

This goes back to number five. You have difficulty making decisions because you don’t trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Moreover, you’re afraid to make decisions because you’re always wondering what people will think. You were bullied so badly that people ridiculed everything you did. And when you defended yourself, they gaslighted you for it.

I feel your pain. But, stop that! No one has to live your life but you. Therefore, only you can possibly know what’s best for you. For your own sake, quit letting others dictate your choices because they could care less about what’s for your good.

Yes, I know it’s scary when others have bullied and beaten you down for years. However, you cannot continue to live this way because it’s a miserable existence and life’s too short.

You don’t have to allow this any longer. Take back your autonomy and freedom and just do it! Begin making your own decisions today. And screw them if they don’t like it. You deserve to finally live your life on your terms.

Screw it, just do it!

7. They withdraw from others.

You withdraw from others because you’re afraid that they’ll only bully you. In other words, you’re afraid of history repeating itself. However, what if it doesn’t?

Again, although understandable, the only thing this will do is socially hold you back. Put simpler, it will have a negative impact on your existing relationships and keep you from starting new ones.

Therefore, don’t let the bullies of your past or present hold you back from relationships and friendships that could fulfill you and uplift you.

You deserve to have a social life and you deserve to draw in people who love you and celebrate you. So, put yourself out there and be your best self.

8. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Isolation

Because it seems everyone has bullied and gaslighted you, you feel that the only way for you to be safe is to isolate yourself. Therefore, you must know that this will only make things worse for you.

Why? Because you stand to lose touch with friends and family who could be there to help you. Moreover, you cut yourself off from the many opportunities that come with socializing and keeping contact with friends and family and making new ones.

In short, you become a shut in. Is this how you’d rather live your life?

Know that you deserve to have a life that’s rich and rewarding with people who love and uplift you. You deserve it. You may have been told otherwise but you were lied to. I repeat! You deserve to be surrounded by people who love you and want best for you.

Therefore, never isolate yourself. Instead, get out there and take risks. Meet people. Just watch them and be choosy with who you allow in.

9. False guilt

After bullies and gaslighters have abused you for so long, it’s too easy to self-loathe and feel guilty for things you haven’t done. This only further erodes your self-esteem and peace of mind.

Moreover, if you allow others to unjustly heap false guilt over your head, what do you think they will do next?

Therefore, understand that you aren’t responsible for anyone else’s bad behavior but your own.

In other words, you cannot control the actions of another person. The only behaviors you can control are yours. So, again, never accept accountability for your bullies’ evil ways.

Know that you have the power to refuse to carry any burden that isn’t yours to carry.

10. Psychological effects of gaslighting: Anxiety

It’s no secret that bullying and gaslighting can cause anxiety in victims and survivors. Anxiety is a booger bear because it causes you to worry constantly about something bad that has happened before, occurring again in the future.

In other words, thoughts of negative possibilities begin to occupy your mind all the time. It causes nervousness and uneasiness and renders you unable to relax.

This is no way to live. You deserve better. Therefore, you can talk to a therapist,  your best friend or trusted family member. Either way, talk to someone you trust.

However, don’t let the anxiety go on for so long that it turns into a disorder.

11. Physical ailments, such as stomach issues and headaches

Psychological trauma has ways of causing illness in the body as well. This is why you must take steps to heal your mind from the effects of gaslighting and bullying.

Moreover, make sure you eat right, exercise and get plenty of rest. Take care of your body like you would your possessions. Because you health is your wealth.

This post is all about the psychological effects of gaslighting, how it impacts you, and how you can overcome it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

2. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

4 Comments

‘Want to know the purpose of smear campaigns and the stealthy techniques bullies use to ruin your good name? Here is a detailed description of the process and why these evil tactics work so well.

smear campaigns

Smear campaigns are destructive to your reputation and can even ruin your life.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the detailed tactics bullies employ in their smear campaigns so that you can better guard yourself against them.

Once you learn this very important information, you will will better able to defend yourself against them and save your good name.

This post is all about smear campaigns, the tactics bullies use to launch them, and what you can do to successfully defend yourself against them.

Smear Campaigns and the importance of reputation

“Reputation is the cornerstone of power.” – Robert Greene

So, why do bullies attack your reputation?

Simply put, they do it to strip you of power.  Bullies know that, once your reputation is gone, you’re defenseless and extremely vulnerable to attack. In other words, they know that if they can poke holes in your reputation, they won’t have to work so hard to bring you down.

Why? Because now, they have public opinion on their side. They can then stand back and watch with glee as widely held perceptions finish you off.

Moreover, after they trash your good name, bullies can freely attack you from all directions. Even worse, you’re at the mercy of virtually everyone around you.

How do Smear Campaigns work?

It always starts subtly.

So, Where do they begin?

1. They start by planting seeds of doubt about your character in the minds of others.

They may cast doubt on you by doing something as subtle as dropping a suggestion. Doubt is a powerful tool. It sets the stage for the next stages of the smear.

2. Smear Campaigns:

They spread rumors and lies.

All it takes is one little rumor- just one!

Bullies are proof that offense is the best defense. Drawing first blood is always best because the target can only respond in either one of two ways.

1. He could deny the rumors, even produce evidence that proves his innocence of the accusations.

2. He could ignore the lies and blow his accusers off with a “whatever” and walk away laughing.

However, either way, people will still look at the target with suspicion. If the target defends himself and produces evidence to the contrary, the prevailing thought will be,

“There must be some truth to the rumors, otherwise he wouldn’t be defending himself so vehemently.”

If he ignores the lies and waves his accusers away with a laugh, others will be even more suspicious of him because they’ll think that he has something to hide and is only playing it cool.

Bullies know that if they instigate rumors the right way, there’s a possibility that they can get the target so enraged and rattled that while defending himself, he ends up making a truckload of mistakes.

Also, if this happens and the target hasn’t yet established a reputation, the smear campaign will work all the more in the bullies’ favor.

Bullies spread lies and rumors by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, they’ll fade into the background because they know that with everything put together, whatever lies they spread will stick.

3. They’ll Repeat the same lies.

In other words, the bullies use repetition. They repeat the same rumor over and over again until it sticks. And sadly, once repeated enough times, more and more people will believe it and it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie.

In fact, by then, others will want to believe it.

And, once the bullies have done their part,  they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy! There’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

4. Bullies will provoke you to trick you into living up to the rumors.

If bullies spread a rumor that you’re mentally imbalanced, they may provoke some kind of emotional reaction from you. They may do this by taunting you.

Moreover, they may also provoke you by hitting you first, hoping you’ll hit them back so they can use it as proof that you really are unhinged.

Smear Campaigns: What happens when Your Reputation takes a hit?

1. People will negatively judge any talents, actions, or contributions, good or bad.

Here’s how this works.

Two different people can do the exact same thing the exact same way. However, each person’s reputation will decide whether the action is brilliant or terrible.

In other words, it’s not what you do. It’s who you are when you do it. It’s not the action itself, but who the person is that does it.

A person who’s well-liked and has a stellar reputation can write an essay, and others will deem it a brilliant piece.

However, let a person everyone despises write the exact same essay, and others will only view it as a worthless piece of garbage that isn’t even worth reading.

Thank God for pseudonyms!

This brings me to the final conclusion:

Reputation can affect all areas of your life. It can be the difference between having success or failure- in everything!

The Character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me”

Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me.” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Moreover, during the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy, Chris told him about how he got his bad name and wished he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal.  However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, that happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

Smear campaigns have stages.

Stage 1:

The bullies will cast doubt on your character and drop suggestions. Also, they’ll spread lies and rumors. They will then provoke you. You blow them off for a while but the bullies are relentless. Therefore, they not only continue but escalate the harassment.

Finally, you get fed up with their crap and, out of exhaustion and emotion, tell them to go to hell in a hand basket. And there! The bullies get the reaction they’ve been waiting for.

Now, the smear campaign begins. Your bullies start by suggesting that you’d be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good to look as if they have genuine concern for you.

Next, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there. Understand that bullies need to slowly and ever-so-gradually ramp up the smears. Why? So, that what they’re doing doesn’t appear so obvious.

Character vs Reputation

In the beginning, you may have friends. Others may like or even love you. Moreover, they may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what he told you.”

Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Smear Campaigns Stage 2.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy.

Moreover, they make false statements and accuse you of wrongs you never committed.

And as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they grow until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be more wrong!

stage 3.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth.

Therefore, by the time the open bullying is underway, you no longer have a clean reputation.

The results of successful smear campaigns.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

They’ll say that you put on a front, and you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

Moreover, others will make your past wins, accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. They will also maximize your mistakes and failures and add many more you didn’t make.

In other words, they will rewrite your history.

If you’re on your best behavior and others see it with their own eyes, they’ll only accuse you of being a con artist. Also, any hard evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they’ll chalk it up to you being a smooth-talker who’s good at using charm to manipulate others.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? They’ll claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear up and down that they were only kind to you because they felt sorry for you, or because you conned them.

Your so-called friends will tell others, “who you really are.” They’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

Also, they’ll say that they only agreed with you about your bullies because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. Your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once people’s minds are already made up, there’s no changing it.

Smear Campaigns Stage 4

Stage 4 is the late stage. Therefore, in the late stages of a smear campaign, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators.

Gossip will be everywhere. And it brings scandal, which means to assassinate the target’s character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a student, worker, neighbor, and human being.

Moreover, anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated, so this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if the target attempts to defend himself or speak out against the abuse, it will be used against him.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for the target to ensure his safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment and go to a new place where he can start anew, establish new connections, and reinvent himself.

In Conclusion:

There’s still hope. Although extremely difficult, you can still salvage your reputation and change your life for the better. Here’s how.

1. If you’re a victim of vicious smear campaigns, Move to a different area.

Sometimes you must go somewhere else and start over again. It may be difficult to leave your family behind, but if you stay in the town where people judge you unfavorably, you’ll never have the chance to move forward and will always be stuck right where you are.

Why not pack your things and head for greener pastures.

2. Find a good cause to fight for and that you’re passionate about.

Any time you fight for a good cause, you will meet like-minded people who are fighting for the same purpose. Moreover, the cause could be “The Victim’s Rights Movement,” or even “The Anti-Bullying Movement.”

Whatever the cause, you will attract those who are fighting for the same things. Also, you’ll easily make positive connections with them and become life-long friends.

Although many doors get slammed shut and locked, there’s always a window to crawl through if you look for it. I guarantee it!

This post is all about smear campaigns so that you can recognize all the tactics and stages. Moreover, it will give you time to act to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

3. The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

4. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

5. School Choice: Why it’s a Godsend for Bullied Kids!

how to disarm a bully at school

How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

Leave a comment

‘Want to know how to disarm a bully so that you can keep your personal power and maintain your dignity? As someone who has overcome bullies this way, I’m giving you the most powerful comebacks that every target of bullying must know about.

how to disarm a bully

Verbal and emotional bullying poisons the minds and the lives of so many victims each year. But what if you could instantly come back with a quick, calm jab? One that throws your bullies off balance, while preserving your dignity, self-esteem, and personal power?

You’re going to learn how to disarm a bully with calm and smart, but ego-deflating comebacks that will leave you standing strong and your bullies, stunned.

Once you learn all these empowering comebacks, you will be ready for any insult, zinger, or smart remark any bullies hurl your way.

This post is all about how to disarm a bully so that you can buffer yourself from even subtle verbal attacks and battle bullying with confidence and poise.

How to disarm a bully

Lets face it, bullies are creative and inventive when it comes to hurling insults and subtle jibes. Moreover, they have a flare for delivering the most brutal and humiliating burns.

Worse even, bullies often do it in public to humiliate you in front of everyone and their mother. Therefore, they blindside you, leaving you shocked, speechless, mortified, and desperately trying to think up a good comeback.

Fortunately, here are a few comebacks you can you use to disarm these brutes and throw them into a tailspin.

1. “Someone must have really hurt you in your past.”

This shifts the blame where it belongs. Onto the bully. By implying that they are an angry, bitter person, you softly and subtly jab them with an insulting comeback without being too noticeable.

In that, you keep your power and make the bully appear weak in front of others while keeping your dignity and self-respect. This little zinger keeps you on the winning end while exposing the bully for the miserable individual they really are. YAY, YOU!

2. “I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This comeback allows you to apologize without accepting any blame. Moreover, it implies that the bully is the one with the problem and not you.

Therefore, use this comeback when a toxic person calls you a name or hurls an insult.

3. How to Disarm a Bully:

Come back with, “You must have a pretty miserable life.”

Like comeback number 1, this keeps the negative spotlight on the bully by implying that they have no control over their life. Moreover, it suggests that they are only trying to compensate for it by trying to control how you feel about yourself.

Ouch!

It saves your dignity while making the bully look like a weak little punk. Therefore, you win with this little dig because you preserve your personal power.

4. “You don’t have to behave like this to impress people.”

Yikes! With this comeback, you imply that the bully is trying to show out. And a show-off is an insecure person who isn’t happy just being themselves.

In other words, you call the bully a poser without actually using those words. You put the obnoxious person in their place while keeping your dignity.

You little wiseacre, you! Way to go!

5. “Does it make you feel bigger to act like a jerk or are you trying to impress people?”

With this comeback, you more directly call the bully out on their behavior. Moreover, you plant the seed in the minds of anyone around that they either don’t feel good about themselves unless they’re making others feel badly, or they’re trying to show off.

In that, you deflate the bully’s ego. And, if there’s an audience around, all the better for you and worse for the person trying to put you down.

6. How to Disarm a Bully:

“There are other ways of getting attention besides being a (jerk, asshole, etc.).”

Ouch! You’re directly saying that your instigator is trying to get attention. And attention-seekers are pathetic! All the while, you keep your power and your dignity.

Moreover, others will snicker at the bully when you deliver this little stinger.

7. “I wonder what happened to you that turned you into such a (jerk, heel, etc.).”

With this comeback, you imply that the bully is weak and powerless while empowering yourself.

8. “I’m sorry someone hurt you. But that person wasn’t me.”

Again, you make the bully look weak and powerless while making them look miserable and bitter too. Two insults in one!

Moreover, you make yourself look like the smarter person and maintaining your dignity.

9. How to disarm a bully:

“Someone must have really screwed you over in the past. Otherwise you wouldn’t be this angry, bitter person.”

As with the others, you shift blame back to the bully while keeping your dignity. Moreover, you do it by implying that the bully is bitter because someone made them feel powerless and insignificant in the past.

This is how you put bullies in their place without name-calling. You insult them with a softer touch. Good job!

10. How to disarm a bully:

“You’re not a very happy person, are you?”

This is the way to ensure that any blame stays where it belongs. On the bully! This comeback implies that the bully is a miserable soul that can only achieve happiness by insulting others.

Moreover, you make them look powerless over their own lives while maintaining control over your own reactions.

11. “I’m sorry you’re so unhappy.”

With this comeback, you achieve the same results as with number 10.

12. “I’m so sorry you feel so small.”

Ouch! You imply that the bully feels weak and that the only way they can feel strong is to make you feel bad about yourself. Great job!

13. How to disarm a bully:

“Relax. Take a break. You don’t have to work so hard to make people like you.”

Again, OUCH! With this little stinger, you imply that your bully is simping for approval. Therefore, you call them a simp without using the words while empowering yourself.

Note:

These comebacks also work best when done in public, in front of bystanders and witnesses. Therefore, have fun! Because delivering good comebacks to bullies in front of an audience is pretty doggone fun!

But most importantly, it helps you keep your power while prompting the bully to think twice before messing with you again.

How to disarm a bully with body language:

1. When a bully cuts their eyes at you

Return the gesture. Moreover, if she tries to stare you down, never look away because she will only take that as fear. Then, from then on, you’ll be her new source of power.

Therefore, always glare back without blinking and stand with your feet apart and arms akimbo to take up some space. This is known as a “power pose.”

You may have to stand that way and stare for a while if she sees your response as a challenge. However, if you hold your position long enough, she’ll finally get tired and move on.

Understand that any time a person uses this type of body language toward you without provocation, they are clearly saying that they’re superior to you and attempting to dominate you.

So, always, always reciprocate any dirty looks and dominate or intimidating body language. Assert your power this way, and soon, the bully will get the message that you’re confident, fearless, and not one she should mess with.

How to disarm a bully:

It’s not what you say, it’s what you do.

In short, it’s not what you say. It’s what you do. Nonverbal communication is around ninety percent of communication. Talk is cheap, and if your words don’t match your body language, bullies will pick up on it, and they will eat you alive!

If you’re the timid type, there are plenty of books you can read to learn confident body language and power pose. Once you read, practice, and learn what nonverbal cues convey power, you must practice those poses until they become comfortable to you.

Remember that bullies always target someone they perceive to be lacking in confidence, timid, and insecure because that person is least likely to fight back. To look confident, fearless, and secure, practice open body language.

Again, stand with your feet apart and arms uncrossed (crossed arms are closed body language and make you look insecure and untrustworthy). When a bully confronts you, never look down or away.

Always look the bully in the eye, and she will see that you aren’t afraid and likely move on to someone else.

In other words, mirror any hostile body language you get from bullies to disarm them. Why? Because they won’t expect that response from you and it will shock them into not toying with you again.

This post was about how to disarm a bully so that you can maintain your power and keep your dignity.

1. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

2. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Enforcing Personal Boundaries: 7 Powerful Strategies

5. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

The Cycle of Bullying: Psychological Injuries and Care of Victims

3 Comments

With many victims, the bullying they suffer is a vicious  and continuous cycle. Now you might ask, “What do you mean? How can bullying become a cycle?” Here’s how.

the cycle of bullying

Bullies often stick victims in a cycle in which they can’t escape. And when bullies know that the victim is trapped, that’s when they know they have them where they want them. Therefore, you must know how bullying is a cycle that only repeats itself.

In this post, you will learn all about the cycle of bullying. Moreover, you will learn how victims get stuck and how bullies take advantage of it.

After you learn how that cycle repeats itself, you will be prompted to take steps to either take care of yourself or escape the environment altogether.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can recognize when you’re stuck in it and find ways to remedy your situation.

The cycle of Bullying

Let’s describe it like this.

A victim is selected and is bullied relentlessly. Every morning, she arrives at school others only greet her with a barrage of name-calling, taunts, cruel jokes, and ridicule. Moreover, they force her to endure physical assaults and beatings.

Nevertheless, she holds up for a year or two, trying to be strong and brave. She manages to remain calm and cool, and seems to do quite well at it.

However, the bullies are relentless because they want so badly for her to react the way they want her too. So, they escalate the attacks and the abuse becomes more frequent and intense.

It is as if they are trying to bring her down. And the truth is, they are.

The Breaking Point

Finally, so many of her peers have bullied her so much for so long that they finally succeed in driving her to the breaking point.

The target either attempts suicide or has a breakdown of some sort. Maybe she breaks down crying and her sobs are so deep and so uncontrollable that she can’t stop crying. It’s as if a dam has burst and the raging torrent of tears continues to pour forth.

In fact, she’s crying so hard her entire body shakes, quakes, and writhes.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Psychological Treatment and progress of the victim

The victim is admitted to a treatment center for severe depression. She stays there for a couple of months.

 Moreover, while she’s there, she makes progress. She opens up about the bullying she suffers, and people listen. In the treatment center, she is safe.

The victim makes friends out of the other kids there and of the staff as well. They all support her, and she begins to feel good about herself again. Therefore, it seems like she’s beginning to heal and get better.

A couple of months go by and for the first time since she left the bullying environment and arrived at the treatment center, the bullying victim feels like herself again.

She feels re-empowered.

The Victim’s Release and return to the same place that made her sick

The center finally discharges the victim. However, she must return to school, back to the same people who made her sick to begin with.

As soon as she goes back to school, she’s nervous because she knows what’s waiting for her. Moreover, although the others at school can’t prove where she’s been, they can figure it out.

Now there’s the mental health stigma hanging over her. Therefore, the bullies instantly use it against her and only pick up where they left off.

They begin mobbing her again. Additionally, even a few teachers and the principal look down on her, just like before.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The Bullies, Student Body, and Teachers only pick up where they left off.

The principal warns her aloud, in the crowded hall, as she’s changing classes. He says to the victim, “I’m going to be watching you closely.”

Even worse, he tells her this in front of the other students where they can overhear.

The victim continues to behave well. However, the principal, a few teachers, and the student body, view her with suspicion. Instead of acknowledging and encouraging her success, the principal and teachers only continue to let her know that she’s on their radar.

The two months away in the treatment center was intended to help her get well and put her life back together.  Moreover, returning to school was supposed to be a chance to start over.

The School Only Uses Mental Health Stigma to Undo Any Progress the victim has made.

But the school has only branded the victim a mental case. As a result, some of the teachers and the principal, knowingly or unknowingly, begin the process of undoing all the progress this girl has made.

What they should do is pull her aside and tell her in private that they are watching her, but that they admire her for getting help and trying to turn her life around.

However, their justification for their emotional abuse is that it’s to protect the other students who fit in to what’s “normal” and who obey the rules.

In other words, they use this justification to defend the emotional abuse they inflict on the victim and continue to single her out for humiliation.

Therefore, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being.

The Cycle of Bullying:

The school only justifies their abuse and continues to discriminate based on mental health.

The girl’s “loony bin trip” now follows her around like a stalking wildcat. School officials either don’t realize or don’t care about the impact their attitudes and prejudices have on young students.

Therefore, bullies begin the evil process again. They begin trying to break this girl down for a second time.

So, the victim continues to hide her emotions. Therefore, she continues to pretend that everything is okay and that the bullying she suffers isn’t such a big deal.

She does her level best to stay strong and hide the tears which beg to poor forth like a raging torrent. Why? Because she knows that if she ever shows the hurt, the bullies will only bask in it.

They’ll have her where they want her, and the bullies will then move in for the death blow.

Fighting a Losing Battle

Therefore, she holds up for as long as she can. But the reality is that no one can hold up under that kind of pressure for long.

But she continues to stuff her emotions deep down inside, even though it’s tearing her up inside. As time goes on, the bullies escalate their attacks because they see her stoicism as a challenge.

Therefore, the cruel attacks become a game to the bullies. The goal is to break this girl and they want to see what it’s going to take to achieve that goal.

Then, once again, it happens! The victim has another breakdown. After all, no one can bury all that pain forever.

The Cycle of Bullying:

Return to the treatment center

The doctors admit her to the treatment center for the second time. A few months pass and she gets the help she needs.

Again, she is in a safe environment. Therefore, she speaks again about the bullying she has suffered. Caring staff and fellow patients give her support and she begins to heal and get better.

After some time at the center, they finally send her home and her parents take her back to school. The very school where his bullies run amuck. And once she’s back, the bullies have a go at her once again.

Why? Because the poor target is trapped in a school she isn’t safe in. And chances are, she will break down and only return to the treatment center a third time.

Therefore, here’s the cycle.

The victim endures bullying and she has a breakdown. She then goes somewhere and gets help, then heals and gets released. She returns to the same toxic environment and the bullies start the process of breaking her until they succeed and she returns to the center.

Therefore, the cycle replays itself again and again.

The Cycle of Bullying:

To Resolve this problem, the victim will need to transfer schools.

In cases like this, targets must be either transfer to a new school or home school, otherwise, the cycle only continues.

Thankfully, when my eldest son began to be bullied in middle school, his father, stepmother, and I got together and made a plan to transfer him before the bullying had a chance to escalate to a dangerous level. Moreover, it worked!

His grades skyrocketed at his new school and when he graduated, he did so with scholarships! We were so proud!

Therefore, a school transfer is always best when a target suffers bullying and it morphs into a pattern. Why, because once people grow comfortable with bullying a certain victim, it will only intensify.

Moreover, if the target goes to a hospital and gets help, then released back into the same environment that made them sick, they will end up returning to the hospital…again, again, and again, until he leaves the toxic school.

It may take some sacrifice to transfer your child to a new school. Moreover, it may be more expensive. However, it’s a small price to pay compared to a stack of psychiatric bills, or worse, funeral and burial costs.

This post is all about the cycle of bullying so that you can understand the cyclical nature of bullying and peer abuse.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. The Horns Effect: Bully-Induced Bias Against Victims of Bullying

3. Bullying Culture: When Bullying is the Status Quo

4. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

5. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

narcissistic woman

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out: 11 Must-Know Facts about Bullies

22 Comments

Are you a target of bullying? Do you want to know the secrets bullies hope you never find out?

secrets bullies hope you never find out

Bullies may look rough and intimidating on the outside. They may resort to threats of physical, social, and psychological harm to get what they want from you. However, are they really so tough? Fortunately for their victims and targets, there are secrets… secrets bullies hope you never find out.

In this post, you will learn exactly what those secrets are and why bullies don’t want you to discover them. Also, you will learn how to use this information to your advantage.

Once you learn about all these things bullies will never admit, you will be able to see right through your bullies and know the exact intentions behind the evil they do. Moreover, you will be able to predict what your bullies will do next just by watching them.

Even better, you will have the tools to use it against them and to your own advantage.

This post is all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can turn the tables on your bullies once and for all. You’ll be able to feel good about yourself in spite of how they may attack you simply by knowing where the attacks come from. And your confidence will soar!

Secrets Bullies Hope You Never Find Out

1. Being a bully is WORK!

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. In other words, bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

They must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Therefore, they’re constantly afraid because they fear losing face if any of it ever gets out.

For instance, you may see one of your bullies wearing clothes from department stores like Nordstrom every day. But you may get lucky and notice him pull out a 20 dollar wallet from Walmart. That’s when you’ll know he’s nothing but a poser.

So, find ways to use it against him and to your own advantage. I can think of several and I’m sure you can too.

2. Secrets Bullies Hope you Never Find Out: They aren’t happy people.

They can’t be. Why do you think they bully others?

Bullies don’t feel they can be happy unless they’re bringing someone else, particularly, you, down. The only thing that makes bullies happy is to see you suffering. Therefore, see this as a testament to how miserable they really are.

They do it to feel better about themselves. Moreover, they also do it to distract from their shortcomings and insecurities, and project them onto someone else.

Bullies also bully to make themselves look superior, better, smarter, and more powerful. It takes a miserable person to be a bully.

Many bullies aren’t happy at home. They have stressful marriages and family lives. Or, if they’re in school, they have bad relationships with parents and siblings. Therefore, they feel powerless there.

However, at school or work, many bullies can control others to keep from feeling so powerless.

Therefore, keep your ears peeled and try to find out what their home life is like.

For example, if you’re in a bathroom stall and you hear your bullies enter the restroom. Draw your feet up and listen in on their conversation. You’d be surprised what you find out!

The trick is to find any good ammunition you can use for your own benefit.

3. They’re weak.

Bullies bully because they’re feeble-minded people. They’re loud, obnoxious, and pushy because they don’t have the brains nor social intelligence to get what they want any other way. Therefore, they must use force and intimidation.

Why? Because it’s the only way they can get their wants and needs met. All this makes for a life of drama and conflict. So, smile about it.

4. One of the main secrets bullies hope you ever find out is that They’re insecure.

Bullies constantly worry about what others think of them. This is why they act the way they do. They want to seem perfect because they’re so afraid that if others find out about the real person, they won’t like them anymore.

Bullies want so badly to be liked that they will bully you in front of an audience to score laughs from everyone and get approval.

Therefore, call them out on it. I promise you’ll feel much better once you do.

5. Bullies are jealous of their victims.

Bullies can’t handle anyone else’s success. If you have more wins then them, are better looking,  or are more talented, they’ll make it their mission to make you suffer for it.

Understand that bullies despise anyone who has something they want but do not have. Therefore, they will move heaven and earth to take it from them. And if they can’t take it away, they will punish the person for having it.

However, they would never admit that in a million years. Why? Because jealousy smacks of inferiority and the last thing any bully wants is to look inferior.

So, feel good about the fact that your bullies are jealous of you. It only proves that you aren’t the inferior one here.

6. Bullies are trying to be cool.

Again, they strain themselves to keep up appearances. And bullies know that most people are under the mistaken impression that cruelty is “cool” as long as they aren’t on the receiving end of it.

Therefore, many bullies bully to look cute to any bystanders and witnesses. And sadly, most bystanders are under the misguided belief that bullying is cool.

This should make you laugh because you know they’re not so cool after all.

7. Secrets bullies hope you never find out: They seek approval.

As mentioned earlier, if a bully doesn’t get approval, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get the approval they feel they never get.

Understand that bullies are simps. They only simp to be liked in ways that aren’t so obvious. However, understand that anyone who seeks approval, no matter how they do it, is one needy and pathetic human being.

Therefore, see it for what it is and your self-esteem will skyrocket. Why? Because you’re so awesome that you don’t have to resort to such behavior.

8. They’re cowards.

They’re afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves. Also, many bullies feel they must act tough to scare you into not fighting back.

However, realize that you should fight back. I’ve seem several bullies bully their victims to the point that the victim finally snapped.

As a result, the victim beat the living daylights out of the bully. Also, on some occasions, the victim whipped the bully in front of an audience.

Therefore, the bully never again bothered the victim and the target finally won respect.

9. They’re fakes, frauds, and imposters.

This goes back to number one and it’s way they work so hard to create an image. Bullies feel they must don masks to hide their true selves.

Again, understand that they do this out of insecurity. Bullies aren’t happy with themselves and fear that their true selves will be exposed.

Just knowing this will keep you out of the doldrums and view your bullies for the losers they are.

10. Secrets Bullies hope you never find out. They Bully to compensate for their weaknesses and shortcomings.

If they can look strong by making someone else look weak they make up for the weaknesses they feel they have. Also, bullies will also run with rich people or the popular crowd because it helps them to forget about the fact that they’re nothing.

Moreover, they feel that this makes up for anything they feel they don’t have.

For example, male bullies who feel they aren’t man enough will often drive around in hot cars and flaunt money to make up for the fact that most decent girls find them disgusting.

Female bullies will often use fashion, makeup, cheap knock-off designer bags, and the latest hairstyles to compensate for the fact that few people like them. Or they may have a bunch of friends and use that to make up for the fact that they can’t get a date.

Who wants to date someone with a haughty attitude?

This should give you a huge pick-me-up!

11. They crave attention.

Bullies love attention and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder.

Also, when a bully sees someone who outshines them somehow, they fear that the person will take the spotlight away from them. Bullies share attention and recognition with no one.

They must be adored at all times by everyone. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

Bullies have secrets they don’t want exposed and they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those secrets from coming out. Therefore, use this information to boost your confidence!

This post was all about the secrets bullies hope you never find out so that you can use those secrets to boost your self-esteem and use them against your bullies if you need to.

Posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

2. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

3. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference

4. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

bullies and jealousy

Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

3 Comments

‘Want to know about jealousy and bullying so that you can feel better about yourself and get a boost of confidence? Here are the proven signs of jealousy in bullies coming from someone who’s experienced it firsthand.

jealousy and bullying

Bullying adds undue stress in your every day life. Even worse is what it can do to your self-esteem and confidence. However, what if I told you that there’s a link between jealousy and bullying?

In this post, you will learn the signs that your bullies are bullying you because they are jealous of something (and it could be anything) you have that they don’t.

Once you learn these indicators, you will be able to keep your confidence and self-esteem from tanking. Moreover, you will be more resistant to your bullies’ attacks by knowing their harassment only comes from deep-seated feelings of inferiority.

This post is all about the connection between jealousy and bullying and the tell-tale signs that every victim of bullying must know.

Jealousy and Bullying

Bullying is usually unprovoked. Therefore, it’s a save bet that the majority of bullying, in fact, comes from jealousy.

So, what are the signs that your bullies are bullying you out of jealousy?

1. They undermine your confidence.

They do this by constantly tearing you down either to your face or behind your back.

Those who tear you down to your face want to plant seeds of self-doubt in your mind. In other words, they want to wreck your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself.

Therefore, don’t let them. Feel free to come back with a witty burn. Or, you can just let the bullies’ petty insults roll down your back. However you choose to counter their childish attacks, don’t believe their lies for a minute!

People who back bite you are secretly jealous of you. These bullies will insult you and criticize you behind your back.

However, they won’t have the guts to say anything to your face because you intimidate them. They will always degrade you when you’re not there to defend yourself.

So, you shouldn’t take these people seriously because they’re not only jealous of you. They’re great big cowards!

With that said, here are other reasons they may gossip about you when your back is turned. These reasons alone should give your confidence a huge boost!

a. You make them feel powerless

b. They know that what they’re saying is either exaggerated or untrue.

c. If you’re not there to hear them, you can’t call them out on it and they can say what they want.

d. Tearing you down restores their own image. When you look bad, they think it makes them look good. They then start to feel superior again as they drag you through the mud.

2. Jealousy and bullying: Jealous Bullies will trivialize your successes and accomplishments.

Bullies who are jealous of you will try to make you feel bad about your achievements. They say things like, “Anybody could’ve done that!” or “You didn’t do anything special!”

The reason these people act like this is that they only wish they’d done it themselves.

Put simpler, bullies undermine your achievements and successes because they don’t want to feel like a failure in comparison to you.

Therefore, feel good about it when they make these kinds of statements. Because it means that they subconsciously feel that you’re superior to them and they’re only trying to bring you down to their level.

Stay above it!

3. They provoke you into arguments and altercations.

This can be aggravating. They start confrontations with you because they don’t like to lose! And when people are jealous of you, you may seem better than them in a lot of ways.

You may be super intelligent or very attractive. You may have a good reputation and have lots of friends. You may have more than them- anything really.

However, jealous bullies provoke the pettiest, stupidest arguments and refuse to give up because they feel insecure around you. Be aware that bullies need to score these petty little victories to feel good about themselves again.

These bullies feel like you’re always winning and they’re always losing.

Anytime they interact with you, they are searching for any weakness or flaw you may have that they can exploit. Bullies who are jealous will bide their time, waiting for you to say something wrong.

And when you finally do, they’ll make a huge deal of it. They will make a mountain out of a molehill and never let it go!

 The point is that jealous bullies are desperate to beat you at something!

4. Jealousy and Bullying: Bullies who are jealous harbor Blind hatred.

Sometimes these types of bullies can’t pinpoint and don’t know what to do with their jealousy. However,  if the bullies really hate you, why are you on their minds so much?

Could it be because they’re trying to cover up how much they like and admire you? Therefore, they may tell others how much they despise you when they actually want to be like you.

5. They copy you.

They may copy your image by dressing like you. Also, they may steal your ideas and your work and claim it as theirs.

Moreover, they may imitate you.

Therefore, feel good about that because anyone who copies you wants to be like you.

6. They will make up competition.

Again. Understand that jealous bullies do that because they are desperately trying to beat you at something – anything! They’ll challenge you at something you don’t normally do or something they know you aren’t good at.

And they won’t stop until they beat you at something. But let them. And when they finally do, just clap and be happy for them.

In other words, let them have that little win because you’ve got bigger and better things to accomplish. And – it might even get them off your back for a while.

Please know that you aren’t at fault in this situation. You did do anything wrong. Understand that these people have issues and they need help!

However, they will never in this lifetime admit that to you or anyone else.

Keep shining and keep knowing that the reason these people do these things is that they really know that you’re awesome. And it scares them to death!

7. Jealousy and Bullying: Bullies who are jealous of you will try to steal your spotlight.

This is especially true of those who have narcissistic personality disorder. These bullies have to be at the top of the game in everything. Also, they must be the center of attention- all the time.

Therefore, anyone who outshines them in any way is fair game for attack. If you have any talents, anything at all you’re good at, or in which you’re super successful, these bullies will never stop coming after you.

Moreover, they’ll often accuse you behind your back (and sometimes to your face) of the following:

1. “She’s just showing off.”
2. “Oh, she’s just trying to get attention.”
3. “He just loves to flaunt his (money, material possessions, masculinity, etc.)”
4. “She’s not so hot!”
5. “He’s a wuss, wimp, etc.”
6. “You’re arrogant, full of yourself, pompous, stuck up, etc.”

But again, know where it all comes from and you will rise above the pettiness and your confidence will continue to soar!

A few additional but important points to remember:

These bullies will often accuse you of the same things they are guilty of themselves.

Also by continuing to display your talents, win awards, garner favor with others, and charm those in authority, you unwillingly offend the bullies’ excessive vanity.

In other words, you instill an imbalance of their sense of self and make them doubt their superiority by poking holes in their importance.

Jealousy and bullying: Which Bullies are more likely to be jealous of you?

Bullies who are jealous are most likely to be at the top of the pecking order. These are the popular kids at school or the high executives in the workplace.

So, understand that people such as these can’t accept being outdone in anything by anyone. And if they’re outshone by anyone they deem as inferior, which is you, all the worse!

Then, they’ll stop at nothing to put you back in your place.

Understand that they don’t care about your talents, your natural gifts, your successes, or smarts. If anything, they despise them. Jealous bullies hate any threat to their superiority.

Bullies Despise Success in Anyone They Deem Inferior

Additionally, these bullies will have followers who will kiss up to them and many others who are afraid of them. You’ll know these bullies right away when you meet them. Moreover, you’ll be able to pick them out of a huge crowd.

They’ll be the loud, obnoxious, and arrogant people in the room. Also, these bullies will be in a clique and will have attitudes of self-entitlement.

Moreover, they’ll expect perks and favors and, more than likely, get them. Anyone outside of their group, they will treat like dirt under their shoes.

Although talk is cheap and what they say behind your back is just a bunch of hot air, be careful these bullies don’t try to do something harmful to you.

Jealousy and Bullying: What to do and not to do If you attract hatred from these bullies:

1. Never reveal your plans and goals.
2. Never share anything you wouldn’t want anyone to know.
3. Display your talents, yes. But don’t brag about them.
4. Don’t lower yourself for anyone, but don’t be too flashy with any intelligence, especially in the workplace.
5. Politely thank those who compliment you. Nothing more.
6. Humble yourself, yes. But you don’t have to undermine yourself to satisfy these brutes. Quiet confidence is key here.

Do these things, and you’re less likely to have a target on your back!

this post was all about jealousy and bullying so that you can use it to buffer your confidence and self-esteem when people bully you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

bully teacher

Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

6 Comments

Unfortunately, bullying by teachers is not uncommon. ‘Want to know the 15 signs your teacher is bullying you? These are the proven and time-tested signs that I’ve personally experienced.

bullying by teachers

It’s one thing when other students bully you. However, it’s another when the people harassing you are teachers. Being bullied by a teacher can be devastating because the bullying teacher holds a lot of power over you. So, how do you know if a teacher is bullying you and what can you do about it?

In this post, you will learn the surefire signs of bullying by teachers and the steps you can take to protect yourself.

Once you learn these tell-tale indicators, not only will you know what to do in your particular situation, but you’ll gather the courage to do what you must do to protect yourself and your future.

This post is all about bullying by teachers, the signs to look for, and what you can do to defend yourself and secure your future.

Bullying by teachers

Sadly, teachers who bully students are more common than we think. Although most schoolteachers are altruistic souls who love kids and want to help them, there are also plenty of bad apples in the teaching profession.

Many teachers and school staff often stick targets of mobbing and bullying with labels. They brand them with labels, such as, “trouble,” “difficult,” or “problem child.”

Consequently, this sets a dangerous precedent because it sets the targeted child up to be discriminated against by their school.  Moreover, it encourages other classmates to bully the targeted kid worse.

Therefore, when adults become prejudiced against a child, it creates a very hostile and dangerous environment.

Why? Because victims aren’t afforded the same due process that their classmates enjoy. As a result, the school staff only empower the bullies. Even worse, they end up supporting the bullies, even encouraging them to bully that child.

And because the child’s brain is still developing, they may not know how to handle such abuse.

What happens when targets act out due to prolonged bullying and resulting stress?

Let’s face it, no one can withstand the intense pressure of bullying and mobbing for long. A person can only be pushed so far. If you kick a dog long enough, you’ll get bit eventually.

When a target is bullied and mobbed by their classmates, they are forced to submit to horrendous and downright grotesque abuse.  Then, when teachers join in, it compounds an already horrific situation,.

However, this kind of bullying is unfathomable to most adults. The message targets receive from others is just to “shut up and take it.”

In fact, when you’re a target of school bullying and mobbing, your world becomes quite Kafkaesque. Moreover, even you have a hard time believing what you’re experiencing. So, is it any wonder that no one else can believe it either?

The questions, “What the hell?” and “Is this really happening?” come to mind.  You feel as if you’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

This is because being mobbed is the feeling of being crushed by nonsensical, bizarre, and blind abuse.

Just imagine what this does to a child or teenager.

Bullying by teachers: the targeted child is powerless to understand or control what is happening.

The target suffers mistreatment, isolation, exclusion, and yes- even brutal physical beatings.

Therefore, the bullied child will be too afraid to plead for help because he knows that the school staff will ignore his cries. And what’s more frightening is that his bullies will take retribution on him for daring to open his mouth.

Eventually the target snaps and acts inappropriately due to long-lasting and extreme stress because the bullying and abuse she suffers has only fallen on deaf ears.

The bullies assaults against the target will continue to be overlooked. However, the target’s reactions to it won’t be ignored. Therefore, the target becomes re-victimized by the very adults, school, and system which are supposed to protect her.

Here’s an example:

A girl is bullied by everyone in her class. The teacher either doesn’t see it or thinks the girl deserves it.

Also, maybe, the teacher thinks that bullying is only a right of passage that builds character. During one occasion, the bully sitting behind the targeted girl pulls her hair.

As a result, the target gets fed up with the bullies’ attacks. Unable to tolerate any more abuse, she turns around and punches the bully who pulled her hair.

Now the teacher, very conveniently, doesn’t see the other girl pull the target’s hair. However, she does see the target turn around and punch the bully in the nose. Therefore, the teacher punishes the target without even considering what the other classmate did to prompt her to punch her.

Consequently, the message the teacher sends is crystal clear. The victim has no recourse, and the bully has carte blanche to continue bullying her in the future.

And so, it goes. The same scenario repeats itself a few times. And, the next thing you know, it is the victim the school staff paints with a bad brush.  Afterwards, everyone becomes labels her a riffraff.

The principal then, from time to time, catches the victim in the hall between classes. He tells her, aloud, in front of the other students, that she’d better watch her step because he has his eye on her.

As fate would have it, the other kids, especially the bullies, overhear the principal and see it as the green light they’ve been looking for. Therefore, they become even more emboldened to continue their abuse because they know the school authorities will only blame her and give them a pass.

Bullying by teachers: The bullying gets worse because, after all, if the victim complains, who’s going to listen to them? They’re the “problem child.”

Therefore, the school staff continue to harangue the target, making her situation much worse than what it needs to be. And their justification for their treatment of the victim is to protect the other students who fit into what is “normal” and obey the rules.

Conveniently, they continue use this excuse to defend their emotional abuse of the victim. Thus, they get to single her out for humiliation in front of God and everyone anytime they feel like it.

Understand that, when this occurs, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being.

Therefore, if you’re one of these targeted students, it’s imperative that you hold on to your sense of self. Hold on to your pride, confidence, and self-belief with everything you have.

It’s also crucial that all you parents and grandparents teach these children how. You must teach your bullied kids to believe in themselves even when it seems that no one else believes in them. You must teach them to know their worth even when it seems that others don’t.

Moreover, you must teach your kids to love and respect themselves even as others hate and disrespect them. Why? Because it is during the most difficult times that they’re need these virtues the most.

With that said, here are the signs of bullying by teachers:

1. The teacher harshly punishes you for things everyone else in the class gets away with.

If ever you notice that your teacher yells at or punishes you for things other classmates get away with, it’s a sure sign they’re singling you out.

Realize that anytime teachers bully students, they seem to actively look for the tiniest of infractions to use against these students.

Therefore, watch for the next time another student does the thing the teacher reprimanded you for. And once you see it, call it out to the teacher by asking, “Didn’t he just do the same thing you got onto me for? And he gets a pass.”

That’s right. We must have the courage to call these things out because it’s the only way to change it.

Another thing you can do is to document it all in detail. Sometimes, you must do your own investigation and gather your own evidence. This means keeping your own records of every bullying incident.

Therefore, write it down in a daily journal and be sure to use the 5W method. When you use the 5W method, you write down the What, Who, When, Where, and Why. And if possible, How.

In other words, you must record What happened and Who was involved and the names of any witnesses. Also, record When the incident occurred by writing down the exact date and time of incident.

Additionally, you must record Where it happened and Why it happened. For instance, did it happen in third period class. And was it because you previously reported the teacher for bullying you earlier that week?

Documentation is of the utmost importance when a person in power bullies you.

2. Bullying by teachers: The teacher allows bullies in class to bully you.

Anytime the teacher watches others bullying you and fails to address it, it’s called dereliction of duty. Or, you can call it neglect.

Whatever you call it, the teacher is clearly not doing their job and you should make note of it. Therefore, again, document this incident using the 5W method.

3. The teacher tries to humiliate you in class.

Again, here’s where documentation is useful. If nothing else, understand this.

Anytime a teacher or anyone in authority bullies you, it’s no time to be lazy. You must be proactive and how you do it is to keep a written record.

4. The teacher tells you that you’ll never amount to anything.

Therefore, document that! And most importantly, don’t you believe it for a second. See this remark for what it is and what it’s designed to do.

This teacher is trying to tear down your confidence and make you feel bad about yourself. Moreover, the bully teacher is trying to plant seeds in your mind in hopes that you’ll believe it and live up to it.

But, don’t you dare! Hang on to your confidence and know that this teacher is lying to you!

5. Bullying by teachers: Deliberately ignoring you or chewing you out when you have a question or need help with an assignment.

Again, document this. Also realize that the reason this teacher doesn’t want to answer your question is because she wants you to fail.

Therefore, find a friend or another adult who can answer your question. Or find a tutor to help you.

6. Calling or Labeling you “a student of low intelligence.”

Maybe the teacher tells you that you’re d*mb or that you’re st*pid. Maybe he calls you those names behind your back. Whatever the case, this teacher does this to make you feel bad about yourself.

Therefore, don’t internalize this. Instead, see the evil intentions behind it and document it.

7. Yelling and screaming at you.

This is the bullying teacher’s way to intimidate you, silence you, or humiliate you in front of the class. Again, you must document this.

Another thing that bears mentioning is that, depending on the laws of your jurisdiction, you can wear a hidden camera and record these things. Just make sure you live in a state or jurisdiction that doesn’t require a two-party consent to record.

8. Bullying by teachers: Putting your parents or siblings down and making negative remarks about your home life.

This is also abuse. Therefore, document it in detail or record it if the laws in your area allow.

9. Publicly announcing a bad grade you may have made.

This is designed to humiliate you in front of an audience and cause you embarrassment. Again, document and, if you can, record!

10. Labeling you “a failure.”

Again, when a teacher tells you that you’re a failure, he wants to convince you of it to increase your chances of living up to it. Therefore, know that just because someone says something, it doesn’t make it true.

Always remember that, and document their bullying.

11. Defaming you to other teachers and students.

The purpose of defamation is to turn others against you. Moreover, it’s a way to block you from making friends and being successful with potential partners.

Also, people use it to block you from opportunities, be they business, educational, career, or employment.

And lastly, people defame you to cut you off from any kind of help or support. Therefore, document everything- every instance of bullying, harassment, and defamation, no matter how slight.

By writing it down, you record it. In that, you establish a pattern of abuse and, therefore, evidence that is admissible in court!

12. Bullying by Teachers: encouraging the other classmates to bully you.

Bully teachers do this to inflict psychological pain and to turn others against you. You must understand that there are some pretty sadistic teachers out there. In other words, these teachers secretly enjoy making their target students suffer.

Moreover, they do it to isolate you and to convince you that you’re completely alone.

Therefore, document it and save it as evidence for a future lawsuit!

13. Putting you down for your beliefs, values, and convictions.

Nowadays, most people don’t like to agree to disagree like they did in the old days. Today, people seem to tolerate differences less and less.

Moreover, those differences include beliefs, values, convictions, and opinion.

Therefore, understand that you have a right to your own opinions and you’re NOT WRONG if your beliefs and values differ from anyone else’s.

I will repeat this a thousand times if I have to: document the bullying either on paper or by recording. Just know the laws in your area before using a recording device.

14. Bullying By Teachers: Giving you lower grades than what you deserve.

Bullying teachers do this to set you up for failure and to make you look bad.

This should be illegal. However, it’s not unheard of for bully teachers to give students they don’t like lower grades than the other classmates. And this happens regardless of whether the bad grade is warranted.

If you suspect that a teacher has committed this dishonest act against you, have another teacher you know and trust look over the assignment in which the bad grade was given.

If you and the good teacher find evidence that you’ve been given an undeserved bad grade, take pictures of the poorly graded paper and the checked correct answers. Then, document it.

15. Making excessively negative and brutal remarks on your papers, conduct reports, or report cards.

Again, this sets you up for failure and marks you as a bad student. Therefore, if you find these things on your progress and conduct reports, papers, and report cards, take pictures of it all with your phone. Then, document!

This post was all about the signs of bullying by teachers so that you can take the appropriate steps to protect yourself and your future.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

2. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Noteable Tactics Gaslighters Use

3. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

4. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

I need you

When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

23 Comments

When you need someone more than they need you, what do you do to break the spell that person has over you? Would you like to know? As someone who’s been caught in that trap, I’m giving you eight easy ways to tip the scales of power in your favor.

when you need someone more than they need you

You may be a victim of bullying who’s rejected, lonely and desperate for friends. Or, maybe you’re a battered woman trapped in an abusive and controlling relationship. Nevertheless, anytime you need someone else more than they need you, it’s a trap that’s hard to pry yourself out of.

As someone who’s been there, I’m giving you effective ways to tip the scales of power in your favor when you need someone more than they need you.

You will learn easy and foolproof ways to escape the grip of a controlling person whether it’s a bully, fake friend, or abusive partner. You will then take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about these empowering methods, you will re-empower yourself and take back your personal power, independence, and your freedom. Then, you will be able to lead your life in the direction you wish and bravely assert your rights to be treated with dignity and respect.

This post is all about how to tip the balance of power when you need someone more than they need you. Also, it’s about becoming re-empowered to take your autonomy and your life back so that you can finally live happier and in peace.

When you need someone more than they need you.

So, what happens anytime you allow someone to put you in the position where you need them more than they need you?

You allow someone else to control you. In that, you set yourself up to be that person’s prisoner and to be discarded once you’ve served your purpose to them.

In other words, you put yourself at the other’s mercy.

Therefore, never allow your world to revolve around someone because you’re afraid that you won’t find another partner. The same goes if you’re a target of bullying. Never hang on to fake friends because you’re afraid that you won’t find other friends.

Moreover, never seek attention because you feel deprived of it. Why? Because, if you do any of these things, you make yourself a slave to others.

As a result, you lose your value in the eyes of others. In short, you make yourself expendable and replaceable.

What other people see when you need someone more than they need you

Understand that people have a tendency not to place much value, if any at all, on someone who constantly makes themselves readily available. It’s the same for a person who always hangs around, and (gasp!) who chases after approval and human connection.

On the other hand, a person who makes themselves rare, scarce, mysterious, and allusive is usually the one who’s sought after.

Hey! I get it, I understand the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair when bullies bully you. Also, I realize the level of heartache when fake friends throw you under the bus and turn on you. Therefore, my heart goes out to you.

However, the last thing you want is to give away what dignity you have left. And you definitely don’t want to do it by giving these people the satisfaction of seeing your desperation.

They may disparage you; they may judge you, they may gossip about you, but let them do it. Moreover, let them misunderstand you and look down their noses at you. Just don’t let them know that their bullying is ruining your life.

Every bully’s biggest desire is to see for themselves how their abuse affects you.

Nine times out of ten, the people who do these things to you want to know how it hurts you. In other words, they want to see your wounds. They want to see you beg and plead. They want to see you hurt- and hurt badly.

And why not? It’s a dark part of human nature that people who want to hurt you want confirmation that their abuse is working to tear you down. And most of all, they want confirmation that they have power over you.

Your bullies and abusers want absolute assurance that they can determine how you feel about yourself. Furthermore, they want you dependent on their say so.

Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction!

I’ve known women with abusive husbands, who let their abusers talk them into quitting their jobs or dropping out of college. As a result, each of these women gave up her independence.

 Thus, she became totally dependent on him. Consequently thereafter, he had free reign to do with her whatever he wanted.

The end result when you need someone more than they need you:

My very abusive grandfather did the same to my grandmother when she worked for a T.V. manufacturing plant during the mid-sixties. Calling herself being the dutiful wife, she allowed him to sweet talk her into quitting her job.

Moreover, my granddad promised her that he would provide for all her needs and that he’d be a good husband to her if she’d only quit her job.

Sadly, less than a month after she quit, he sold her candy apple red, ’66 Ford Mustang she had just paid off. Additionally, he sold the car behind her back! Right out from under her!

Therefore, he wanted her to need him more than he needed her. Thankfully, my grandmother eventually ended the marriage and tipped the balance of power in her favor.

A bully can be a domineering classmate, a supervisor, or an abusive spouse or parent.

My grandfather was also an abusive, domineering parent. He tried to control the life of his oldest daughter, my aunt.

For example, he tried to keep her from marrying the love of her life when she was eighteen years old. Why? Because he wanted to keep her under his roof and therefore, under his thumb and within his reach.

However, she dared to defy him and get married anyway, with my grandmother’s permission. My aunt married Uncle Gene behind my grandfather’s back.

As a result, granddad showed up at the house my aunt and her new husband had rented and physically attacked her in her own driveway.

Now, you’re probably wondering why I’m telling you this story. It’s because there’s a point to it. And, the point is that bullies, whether at home, in the workplace, in any form of government, or at school, want the same thing.

They want their targets to need them more than the bullies need their targets. In other words, they want complete control over their target’s lives.

Understand that this is all a form of coercive control.

When you need someone more than they need you, you leave yourself at that person’s mercy.

What do these bullies have to gain from ruling their targets with an iron fist? Power! Raw power! That’s what they have to gain.

Put simpler, bullies in the home want their targets totally dependent on their approval to live in peace.

Moreover, bullies in the workplace want their targets to need their approval to keep and enjoy their jobs. In that, they need their approval to provide for themselves and their families.

Also, it’s the same with bullies in government, better known as tyrants or despots. Tyrants want their constituents to think they need their permission to have freedom and to enjoy human rights.

Bullies at school want their targets to depend on their say so to have friends and a good social life. Moreover, they want the power to decide whether their victims have psychological and physical safety.

Understand that bullies are all about CONTROL and DOMINANCE. Nothing more!

So, how do we ensure that we never become dependent on another person?

What are the easy ways to tip the scales of power when you need someone more than they need you?

1. Do Not Comply.

In other words, if you’re an abused wife, you keep your job, no matter how he may sweet talk you into quitting. Moreover, if he promises you that he’ll fulfill all your financial needs, take it with a grain of salt.

Continue to stand firm no matter how tough he makes life for you at home. Also, the same goes if you’re a student and he wants you to drop out of college. Keep going to class and do NOT drop out.

Understand that much of the power a bully holds depends on your compliance. Therefore, when you refuse to comply with bullies’ demands, you instantly snatch back your personal power.

2. Quietly keep a private stash of money hidden away.

Here’s another nugget of advice for abused partners. Quietly keep a private stash of money hidden away and keep saving until you can afford to bail out of the abusive marriage.

Abusive partners will take control of any money that comes into the household. Why? To keep you broke so that you’ll stay dependent on them.

Think about it! Communist and Socialist governments do the same thing to the people they govern. Dictators, Tyrants, and Despots take complete control of business and production and seize the food and money supply to ensure that the people obey their demands. Also, they do these things to keep the people dependent on government for their very survival.

Abusive and controlling partners and tyrannical governments (dictators, tyrants, and despots) are the same types of people. Bullies are bullies are bullies!

This brings me to number three.

3. When you need someone more than they need you: What If you’re under the rule of a bully official?

If you’re under the rule of a bully official, realize that the people outnumber this tyrant by the thousands, or even millions. Therefore, there is strength in numbers.

Find a way to use that against them.

4. What If you’re the target of bullying in the workplace by a bully boss or bully coworkers?

If this is the case, you should quietly update your resume and begin looking for another job. Moreover, whatever you do, find a way not to put the bully down as a reference.

Then, when you find another job, quit!

Understand that staying in a toxic workplace isn’t worth the risks to your mental health! Therefore, find a way out as soon as possible!

5. Make friends outside the bullying environment.

In other words, make friends outside the bullying workplace or school. Your bullies and others at work or school may not value you. However, it doesn’t mean that people outside of the toxic workplace won’t.

Chances are that it will be much easier for you to make new friends outside of the toxic place. Therefore, do this. However, when you do, know that there’s no need to tell your new friends about the bullying you suffer at work or school.

This is information nobody on the outside (besides your family) needs to know.

6. Take a self-defense class.

If you’re dealing with physical bullies, you may want to take a self-defense class. MMA training helps to keep physically violent bullies at bay.

However, it’s best not to use it until you advance a few levels and feel confident in what you’ve learned.

7. Keep your sense of self intact.

In other words, continue to value and love yourself no matter how your bullies may mistreat and degrade you. Hold onto your self-belief.

Although you can never control how others see you or how they behave toward you, you can control how you see and treat yourself. Know that you have a choice of whether to keep toxic people in your life or kick them out of it.

Remember that your thoughts are free, and you choose the way you think of yourself. You control how you see yourself. They may mistreat you terribly, but they can’t take your mind if you don’t let them.

8. If all else fails, leave the toxic environment. Rent a new house or move to a new area, job, or school.

No one deserves to live, work, or learn in an unsafe environment. You’re well within your rights to walk away and never look back, or to at least, make changes that benefit you until you can walk away.

In conclusion, never allow someone to put you in a position where you need them more than they need you. Find a way to re-balance those power scales!

This post was all about what to do when you need someone more than they need you so that you can take back your personal power.

1. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

2. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

3. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

4. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

bullies

Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2 Comments

You’ve probably asked this question many times. Why do bullies bully? Here are the most common reasons people try to dominate others and what you can do to take the wind out of their sails.

why do bullies bully

Bullies can reek havoc in the lives of their victims. If you’re a victim and have been for any length of time, you’ve probably asked this question a million times.

In this post, you will learn the answers to your question, “Why do bullies bully?” Moreover, you’ll learn why they refuse to leave you alone.

Once you learn these answers, you will no longer be confused. Moreover, you will feel better about yourself, knowing that the issue isn’t you, it’s them.

This post is all about the question that nags you day and night, “Why do bullies bully?” and gives you all the answers you need to know.

Why Do Bullies Bully?

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these very legitimate questions a million times over.

“These bullies despise me so much. So, why don’t they just get a life and leave me alone?”

“If they think that I’m such a bad person, why don’t they just let me go?”

“Why don’t they just drop me completely, go on about their business and let me go on about mine?”

“If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”

“My bullies hate me so much. So,wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they (figuratively) just stayed in their corner of the room and let me stay in mine? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?

“If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why even bother? Why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”

“For what logical reason would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”

“Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem- they stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works.

As much as I hate to break it to you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace if they have selected you to be their target.

Why do bullies bully? Here’s why:

1. to dominate and subjugate

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone.

You just happen to be the easiest target for them. In other words, you are the person they have in their sights. Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you and to hold you down and oppress you.

2. It’s the only way they find meaning in their lives.

Their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

In other words, outside of trying to control and keeping a tight grip on the lives of others (you), abusers can’t find meaning in their lives, nor any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Understand that these types of people have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. Moreover, the vast majority are life-losers disguised as winners and cloaked with false perfection.

Therefore, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find their meaning- which is their sense of effectiveness and self-worth, is by using force and riding roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your abusers just left you alone, they would have nothing else because there is nothing left out there for them.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of the environments they take over, make toxic, and rule with iron fists, they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

Why Do Bullies Bully?

On the other hand, their targets and others who are normal and have healthy mentalities don’t have to bully others. They don’t need to find meaning in their lives because they already have it outside the bullying environment.

These people find meaning through unity and togetherness with their families, their friends, their churches, homes, or through their love and pursuit of their talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, people who like to harass don’t have these things to fall back on.

3. They are addicted to power.

Understand that human predators must have targets (victims). In fact, they need targets- people who they can oppress and subjugate.  In other words, they need people they can order around and tell what to do because it gives them a power rush.

And power is addictive.

Take the target out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist.

Put another way, if one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t rule over no one.  You’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom because for a kingdom to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

It would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

4. Why do bullies bully?

To Re-Enforce their power.

Here’s another thing to consider: if you’re a target of bullying, the mere fact that you want to get away from your abusers- that you want to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person will enrage them.

Why? Because they can’t live without power and domination.

Therefore, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with reckless anger. Moreover, your harassers will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Why? Because when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

For example, the same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. He goes into a rage and loses control.

And not because he’s loses her but because he loses power over her. Bullies are no different.

Therefore, their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Put simpler, they desire to, in a sense, hold you hostage.

Remember that bullying is abuse, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse. And abuse is about power.

In other words, they are one and the same, so, they’re both about power.

Therefore, your harassers will never allow you to live in peace. And the reason they won’t leave you alone is because to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

5. Why do bullies bully?

They enjoy it.

It’s true. They get enjoyment and fulfillment out of harassing and abusing others. Therefore, you must realize that these types of people are sadistic in nature.

In other words, they get pleasure from your pain. Believe it or not, such people do exist and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

6. For Increased Social Status

Bullying is not only used to maintain power and control over the target. It is also used as a vehicle to achieve higher social status.

And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the bully can increase his social standing, while reducing yours.

In other words, for many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have the former.

On the other hand, if the aggressor does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake. In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

However, this is not a healthy way to achieve social status. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement. For example,  joining a positive movement or donating to a charity.

Understand that these types of people are the talent-less, the lazy, and the incompetent. Again, they have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence.

You must see these individuals exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

7. To Tighten bonds in Their group.

Not even love, respect, or friendship unite people as much as the shared hatred of something or someone. Moreover, there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have an entourage around them.

You will never see these types of people alone because the thought of being on their own scares them to death. The group is their power.

Also, the stronger the solidarity, the less likely it is of the group disbanding. Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

As the target, you provide your bullies the assurance that their group always stays together as one. Without you, the group is weak; things get boring real fast, and it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

Of course, these 7 aren’t the only reasons. There are a few more reasons people engage in this atrocious behavior. But that’s in another post.

This post was all about the Answers to the question, “Why do bullies bully?” to relieve any confusion you might have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

3. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

5. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use