gatekeeper bullying in the workplace

Gatekeeper Bullying: 10 Ways Bullies Act as Gatekeepers

Want to know about gatekeeper bullying? Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

gatekeeper bullying

Gatekeepers are those who allow only certain people in and keep others out.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about gatekeeper bullying so that you can recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn about this sneaky form of bullying, you will be able to find ways to skirt around the gatekeeper and protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying to give you the signs you need to recognize.

Gatekeeper Bullying

This kind of bullying occurs mainly in the workplace. However, it can happen anywhere, at school, in the neighborhood, or even in the family.

Before we get into this topic, let’s find out what gatekeeping is. Therefore, what is gatekeeping? It is the act of taking control over resources, time, materials, information and chance opportunities.

Again, gatekeeper bullying happens mostly in the workforce. However, it can happen anywhere. Gatekeepers can be individuals or groups. They’re the type of bullies who specialize in letting only certain people in and keep others out of the loop.

As a result, they limit the choices and opportunities of those they deem unworthy and give them all to others. Therefore, understand that gatekeeping is a form of bullying.

Why? Because it’s specifically designed to leave out people the gatekeeper either hates or doesn’t like.

Here are all the ways bullies act as gatekeepers.

Gatekeepers are passive bullies.

Why are they passive? Because they aren’t out there, actively doing things to make their victims’ lives hell. In fact, they don’t have to do anything at all.

The problem is not what they do, it’s what they don’t do. These bullies are passive because they take a more indirect approach. Therefore, they’re much harder to detect.

While other bullies are out there, actively doing bad things to ruin their targets’ lives, gatekeepers do their dirt on the sly.

This is what makes gatekeeper bullying so hard to prove.

The weapons this type of bully uses are their talents, resources, time, materials, and their access to information. Therefore, they have the power to either withhold those things or use them as leverage against you. Also, they have the power to control deadlines.

In doing these things to the people they can’t stand, they create undo stress for them. So, what tactics do these people use against you?

1. Gatekeeper Bullying:

They Withhold resources.

These resources could be money or material like paper and ink cartridges for the printer. ‘You see? Gatekeepers like to bully those who are bold, resourceful, innovative, and creative. And if you’re that type, look out!

Why? Because you threaten them. Therefore, these bullies will withhold resources just to slow you down. And when you ask them where the materials are? They’ll only sweetly reply that they either can’t find them or that they’re running low.

Therefore, they’ll make plausible excuses.

But see this for what it is and the goal behind it. They do this to sabotage you on the job. And it’s designed to make you look incompetent or that you just don’t give a crap.

Without the tools to do your job, you appear to be a bad employee. And, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Sally didn’t give you the supplies you needed to do your assignment?

If nothing else, know this! These bullies have a vested interest in keeping you out of the loop.

2. Controlling Your Access to Accurate Information.

This person will control your ability to have the information you need to complete a task. They’ll do this by either completely withholding it or only giving you bits and pieces of it.

For instance, they might give you a five-step process to an assignment when the job requires ten steps to complete.

Also, if there’s a company meeting that starts at eight o’clock, the gatekeeper may tell you that the meeting starts at eight-fifteen.

They may even “accidentally” forget to tell you about a mandatory Zoom call. Gatekeepers may also discourage others from helping you out.

And you won’t think to question it because this person has probably worked with the company longer than you have. Therefore, you’re likely to trust them.

Even if you don’t, who’s going to believe you when you tell them that Kathy gave you the wrong information?

You must know the intentions behind it. And the gatekeeper’s objective is to make you look like you can’t do your job.

3. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving Unrealistic Deadlines.

For example, these types of bully bosses may give you deadlines that are impossible to reach. Moreover, they might pile so much work on you that you don’t have a chance in hell of getting it done in time.

And, are you likely to question the boss? Would you have the guts to tell him that there’s no way you can make that deadline or complete all that work in time?

And if you did, what do you think the boss would say? He’d likely hit you with a barrage of gaslighting.

Make no mistake! Your boss really doesn’t want you to make that due date. He wants you to fail. Why? Because it makes you look bad.

4. Controlling Opportunities.

This bully will block any chances of advancement. For instance, you may be up for a well-deserved promotion and get passed over. Instead, they may give it to someone who isn’t qualified.

In fact, they’ll give it to anyone who isn’t you. Why? Because if they gave it to you, they would have to admit that you’re damn good at your job.

And when you’re good at your job, you outshine them. Therefore, in order for the boss to look like he’s better than you, he has to make you look like crap.

5. Gatekeeper bullying:

Controlling Your Life-Chances.

These bullies might throw a monkey wrench in your life-chances. So, what are life chances?

According to EBSCO Research Starters, they “refer to the probabilities of opportunities to individuals in society, influencing their potential for success and upward mobility.

Gatekeepers love to control your life chances and keep you stuck. Why? Because it gives them a rush of power. Also, it keeps them on top.

So, how do they do it? They do it by giving a potential employer a bad reference when you leave the toxic workplace.

Therefore, how do you protect yourself from an undeserved bad reference? You do it by just putting in your resignation, fulfilling the conditions of your two-weeks notice, and getting the hell out of Dodge!

Also, if possible, you don’t put them down as a reference. I know this sounds dishonest. However, if you quit a workplace you were bullied in, it’s never a good idea to even let on to a new company that you ever worked for them.

Because workplace bullies will find ways to block you from future employment if they get the opportunity to do so. Therefore, it’s best not to give them that chance.

6. Destroying Your Chances of Success.

This is what their shenanigans are all about. To keep you from having any successes. Again, the bully’s entire mission is to set you up to fail.

They trip you up, then stand back and smile as they watch you fall on your face. And they pat themselves on the back for a job well-done.

They’ve contained the threat and now they can breathe easier and work in peace, knowing that their little corner is safe again.

7. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Excluding you from meetings, classes, and workplace social functions.

These bullies will also conveniently forget to tell you about any meetings or social gatherings. Moreover, they’ll make sure no one else tells you either.

Why? They do it simply to make you feel like you don’t belong there. Also, they do it to make success feel like it’s out of reach.

8. Adding more steps than needed to do your job.

Bullies may tell you that your job requires more steps than it really does. Understand that they do this to slow you down.

Why? Because you just might make that deadline and upstage them. Trust me when I say this. These people will pull out all the stops to keep you from finishing tasks.

9. They distract you from your work.

Workplace bullies deliberately distract you from your projects with constant interruptions, which are time-consuming. Why? Because they know that if they can stall you, they may cause you to miss a deadline.

Moreover, they may call your office phone with constant memos and reminders. But realize that it’s all a ploy to throw you off your game.

10. Gatekeeper Bullying:

Giving you meaningless or degrading assignments.

Bully bosses will often take you off you regular work assignments and give you degrading or subservient jobs. For instance, they may select you to clean the office bathrooms.

Also, they may designate you to make coffee runs for everyone else. Or he may give you the task of serving coffee to the rest of the team.

You might even be tasked with emptying all the trash.

However, see this for what it is. He’s doing it to degrade you. In other words, he’s demoting you, only without making it official.

In closing

If you recognize three or more of these signs and they occur repeatedly, it might be time to quietly begin looking for new employment.

You won’t to create an exit plan early in the game. Why? So that you can get out before the bullying has time to do any lasting damage to your mental health.

You must do what you can to protect yourself.

This post is all about gatekeeper bullying on the job so that you can recognize it when it happens to you, cut your losses, and quietly find new employment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

3. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

mobbing in the workplace

Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

‘Want to know how mobbing in the workplace progresses step by step? Here are all the dirty but tiny details you need to know.

mobbing in the workplace

In this post, you will learn all about mobbing in the workplace. Also, you will learn how it begins and how it progresses, step by tiny step, in chronological order so that you’ll know what to expect if it ever happens to you.

Once you learn all the small details, you will be better able to predict it and, more importantly, outflank workplace bullies when they come for you.

This post is all about mobbing in the workplace so that you’ll be better prepared when workplace bullies set their sights on you.

Mobbing in the workplace

What is Mobbing?

Mobbing is extreme bullying by large groups. It can involve an entire school, workplace, or community.

The mob often acts under the influence of a ringleader or someone in a position of power. Mobbing almost always happens out of retaliation. Maybe the target became fed-up with being bullied and finally spoke out. Maybe they did something about it.

However, most people resort to mobbing when they’re pissed off at someone and want to teach them a lesson.

Mobbing has other names as well. People often refer to it as collective bullying.

Remember that bullies and their followers expect the target to stay quiet about the abuse. They may even demand that he bow down to and submit to it.

And when a targeted individual stands up to the bullies, they’ll punish them by working everyone else into a mob.

Chronic Bullying is Mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time. Moreover, once bullies repeat the behavior for any length of time,  it escalates to a dangerous level. It doesn’t take long for bullying to reach epic proportions.

After a while, bullies grow so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Moreover, they pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

When there’s chronic bullying, there’s usually no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s no incentive to stop.

Authorities refuse to address the bullies’ behavior. Then, the bullies become brazen and cocky. Therefore, their actions grow in strength, frequency, and level of cruelty.

Also, the bullies’ apathy toward you grows to a point where they lose all empathy. Consequently, they come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

Bullies and bystanders take the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel or dangerous, is good. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Bullying at work usually happens at the behest of a bully in power.

Bullies in power usually have followers and minions backing them up. Moreover, they enlist these human worker bees to do their dirty work.

Bullying becomes mobbing when an entire group unites to mob one person. And the bullying becomes so significant, so ingrained, and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

Therefore, there’s no stopping it at this stage.

Members of the bullying group become drunk on their own power. Furthermore, bullying and tormenting you is all they can focus on.

Instead of the bullies controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions begin to control them! Your bullies are so blinded by senseless rage that their very hatred controls their every move.

Mobbing in the Workplace:

When Bullying Morphs into Mobbing

They have become so addicted to power and control that they must constantly bully you to get their fix. It’s the only way they can maintain the high that this power gives them.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, bullies don’t see you as a human being. They see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why mobbing is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you the chance of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

This is why it’s so important to get out of the environment any time you suffer mobbing. Transfer to another school. Go to work for another company, or move to another area.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. It isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

Here’s a description of mobbing:

A large group of people (or mob) targets you because you opened your mouth about their abuse. Slowly, over time, they become increasingly aggressive.

Also, the number of attackers grows until they strip you of every ounce of power and completely isolate you.

Group aggression, or collective bullying, serves to reinforce a shared negative view of you. Moreover, this happens regardless of your prior value or reputation.

Vicious gossip about you circulates throughout the environment. People stick destructive labels to you and throw damaging accusations at you until they completely isolate you.

The mob will expand to include several teachers and school staff if you’re a victim of mobbing at school. Also, managers and supervisors may join the mob if you’re a target at work.

Bullies may even encourage people who are mostly peaceful and kind to join in. In other words, those who normally treat others with kindness may hate you.

Again, a bully in power directs them to gossip about you. Moreover, they instruct them to bully and abuse you.

Therefore, even the sweetest, most compassionate people can suddenly become brutal and nasty.

Peer pressure and group behavior have truckloads of influence!

Mobbing in the Workplace:

One by one, people you thought were friends begin turning on you.

And, one by one, the entire student body, workplace, or community turns their backs on you. They start slandering you. Moreover, they begin accusing you of one infraction after another.

In most cases, the people who are generally good, kind people won’t see themselves as participants of mobbing. No.

They’ll only think of themselves as defenders against an evil enemy. Therefore, they view their atrocious behavior as justified. To them, the nasty behavior is necessary.

Why? Because to know themselves as bullying participants goes against their sense of decency.

Even Sweet and Kind People Act Differently in a Group.

Always! They will be totally different people because they feel they must conform. They’ll be so different that you’ll no longer recognize them.

In fact, people who are normally sweet and kind are exponentially meaner than those who were already bullies to begin with. Why? Because they feel they have something to prove to the group.

Again, once bullying escalates to mobbing, it’s nearly impossible to stop.

The reason mobbing damages you the most is because of the support you lose so quickly. As more and more people jump on the hate bandwagon, you become radioactive.

Therefore, before long, everyone avoids you. Moreover, they continue blaming you for any tiny thing that goes wrong. Even things you couldn’t possibly have any control over.

In other words, they close ranks, thereby eliminating any help or escape from the abuse.

Sadly, there isn’t much you can do once the violence has escalated to this point.

Mobbing in the Workplace:

Step-by-Step Description of Mobbing in Progress

I can’t stress this enough. Mobbing is THE severest form of bullying. Once the bullying reaches the stage of mobbing, this is when the bullying becomes life-threatening! And if you ever a target of it, you’ll know firsthand how destructive it is.

This is how mobbing starts.

A bully or small group of bullies start a successful smear campaign. Mind you, these bullies are in positions of power. Moreover, they’re well-practiced in the arts of persuasion and influence.

Here’s something I want you to realize. A smear campaign is nowhere near as tricky as it looks. You’d be amazed at just how simple it is to smear someone. It’s so easy that it shouldn’t be so effective, but it is!

To quote the old Geico commercial, it’s “so easy; a caveman can do it.”

Here’s a chronological, step-by-step recap of how bullies do it and succeed at it:

1. The bullies Spot a specific individual who refuses to conform to their standard of who she should be.

Let’s call her “Cindy.”

Before, the bullies could influence everyone else and get them to submit to their every whim. Then, low and behold, along comes Cindy, who’s stubborn. She subtly resists the bullies’ control and doesn’t allow them to change her personality.

Moreover, Cindy doesn’t realize their motives. She doesn’t know that, just by doing her thing, she’s enraging the bullies.

Therefore, she goes on about her business and makes plans for her future. She accomplishes achievement after achievement.

Maybe she gets loads of positive attention and praise from others because she’s so successful and well-liked.

2. Mobbing in the Workplace:

Next, the bullies begin to smear Cindy.

To implement their smear campaign, they watch Cindy closely. They studying her behavior and the way she reacts and responds to stimuli. And they continue to watch her until they can anticipate her reactions.

3. The bullies then train their audience to expect a certain behavior out of Cindy.

They point out those behaviors when they occur. The bullies then associate Cindy’s completely innocent behavior with something bad or evil.

For example, let’s say that Cindy is sweet, playful, and likes to engage in a little banter. The bullies watch as Cindy banters with people.

She playfully calls someone a “dummy” or a “goofball.” However, others know that it’s all for harmless jokes. Therefore, they think it’s funny because Cindy is a genuinely kind person.

4. Next, the bullies begin making offhand comments.

They remark that Cindy’s kindness is only an attempt to kiss ass because she wants something from people. The bullies tell others that Cindy thinks they really are dummies. She only covers it under a veil of fun jokes and playfulness.

The bullies also make statements that Cindy thinks she’s cute. They also accuse her of thinking she’s smarter than everyone else.

5. The Bullies Then Repeat them.

And they repeat the same lies over and over again. To quote Josef Goebbels, “Tell a lie once, and it remains a lie. Tell a lie a thousand times, and it becomes the truth.”

 The next time others see Cindy being kind to and playfully bantering with someone, she doesn’t look so cute. Moreover, the banter isn’t so funny anymore.

Now people begin to see a side of Cindy they can’t believe they never noticed before.

6. Feeling smug, the bullies look at themselves, then at Cindy with smirks on their crooked faces and try the same thing all over again.

Therefore, they continue repeating the same lies again and again.

Before you know it, everyone wonders what they ever saw in Cindy, to begin with. Soon, they start having negative feelings toward the poor girl.

7. Cindy picks up on the negative vibes and begins to withdraw.

She doesn’t understand what she did for others to begin treating her so coldly. Therefore, she doesn’t speak to people like she did before. And why should she?

People have begun turning on her. Therefore, Cindy isn’t going to put herself in a situation to be rejected.

8. The bullies then notice that Cindy is growing distant.

They make sure to point this out to everyone. Moreover, they use Cindy’s distance as confirmation that she really does think less of everyone at work.

“Hey, look! Do you see that? Now, what did we tell you? Cindy really does think we’re all dummies! She really does think she’s smarter than the rest of us!”

“And her ass-kissing didn’t work, so now she’s too good to speak to anyone!”

9. Cindy’s withdrawal only makes people resent her more.

Although she only grew distant out of self-protection, others mistake it for arrogance. Maybe they know that Cindy isn’t being smug. However, they don’t want to believe it. They only want to believe the running narrative.

10. Things only snowball from there.

Understand that people are human, and they make mistakes. They misjudge innocent others all the time.

A smear campaign is most effective when bullies can condition a group to see any quality in you as a bad thing.

Therefore, people can become extremely cold and cruel to you. And they repeat the same cruel behavior, over and over again.

Understand that smear campaigns are effective because they quickly become bullying. Then, they escalate to mobbing. And once bullying gets out of control, things get dangerous really fast!

Why? Because, once it increases to mobbing, it’s unstoppable. And, sadly, the only way you can take your life back is to leave the toxic environment altogether.

This post was all about mobbing in the workplace so that you can recognize it while it’s happening and make your escape before it’s too late.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The 4 Stages of Bullying

2. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

teachers bullying teacher in schools

Teachers Bullying Teachers: When a Teacher is the Victim

Teachers bullying teachers. Sadly, it’s more common than we know. There are many testimonials out there of good teachers, the best of the best, who have told their stories of horrific bullying by other school staff members. Here are the details of what bullied teachers endure.

teachers bullying teachers

Teaching is not only thankless but also dangerous in times like these. In fact, teachers should get hazard pay, maybe even combat pay! With the school climate what it is today, teachers risk being harmed, maimed, also murdered, and many don’t make it to retirement.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about teachers bullying teachers and the hell they go through at work. Moreover, if you’re a teacher who is enduring this kind of evil, there are things you can do to fight back successfully.

Once you learn about this horrible epidemic, you will have the tools needed to combat the bullying you suffer. Also, if you aren’t a teacher, you will get a glimpse into the life of a bullied teacher.

Teachers bullying teachers

Many teachers have quit and opted for second careers because of the many issues in schools and communities. Can you blame them?

Moreover, teachers get paid a pittance for what they must put up with every day. Moreover, they don’t get the support from parents, principals, and higher school officials they did decades ago.

Also, teacher’s unions are a complete joke! They don’t care about the kids much less the teachers. In my not-so-humble opinion, teacher’s unions are a big money racket and political activist group! I wouldn’t be a teacher if someone offered me triple the salary!

Along with crappy pay, teachers are held responsible for the poor performance and failing grades of their students. Moreover, let’s be real here. Many kids are lazy, and many parents are too busy being the child’s BFF rather than being a parent. They’re to distracted to make their children hit the books.

Therefore, why is this the teacher’s fault?

A teacher’s workload

Teachers also have a truckload of homework themselves. How? You may ask.

Most must grade test papers and assignments at home, on their own time. And many parents can’t buy the necessary school supplies for their children to bring to class. Therefore, it’s the teachers who end up having to dig into their own pockets to provide for these kids.

Couple that with the shoddy pay, and these teachers get a pretty raw deal.

Teachers bullying Teachers:

Teachers Who Suffer Bullying

Many teachers also endure bullying. And not only by their fellow teachers and staff but by students and their parents as well.

Therefore, when it’s the child who bullies the teacher, how’s that teacher supposed to handle it effectively without support from the principal, the school district, and parents?

Many bullied teachers are also bullied by parents.

A lot of kids are disrespectful and unruly these days. Many of today’s parents have an overinflated sense of entitlement.

Therefore, it makes sense that they would raise kids with the same pathetic attitude.

Lots of times, the parents will overlook their child’s behavior at school. Even worse, some even encourage it because they feel that their child is “entitled” act how they want.

And when the teacher calls the child out, the parent feels they transgressed against their kid somehow.

Also, schools and their districts often encourage teachers to give the kid a passing grade even if the student doesn’t earn it. Why?

Because they want to keep the school’s performance ratings up and the government off their backs.

Therefore, if the teacher happens to be an honest person and doesn’t comply, she’s fired.

Teachers bullying teachers:

Honest Teachers’ hands tied.

I’ve both heard and read of instances when the teacher disciplined a student for disruptive behavior. The teacher only made the child leave the classroom and stand in the hall or sent the kid to the principal’s office.

As a result, an angry and hostile parent confronted them later.

Moreover, there are stories out there which tell of incidences when a student failed a test and the teacher gave the kid a bad grade. Mind you, this was a grade the child deserved.

Sadly, an enraged parent stormed into their classroom the next day, demanding to know why. Some parents go so far as to threaten physical harm!

Is it any wonder where bullies get their atrocious behavior from? They learn it from watching their parents and siblings.

Kids, especially those who are bullies, are smarter then you think.

Understand that kids aren’t as clueless as many want to believe, especially kids who bully. Moreover, these kids are often socially intelligent beyond their years, and they pick up on these things. And these things are those that other kids their age often miss.

These children know that these days, teachers can’t do much about their bad behavior. Therefore, they take full advantage of it. It’s just what kids do.

Pushing boundaries to see what you can get away with is only a part of being a kid. Kids do either what their parents allow or aren’t aware of. And again, they imitate what they see at home and what they see peers do.

Consequently, teachers don’t get near the support they should. Is it any wonder there’s a mass shortage of teachers in this country? And I can’t say that I blame most people for not wanting to have a career in teaching.

Teacher on Teacher Bullying:

Unfortunately, Bullying in schools is not only among kids, teachers also bully other teachers.

Teacher on teacher bullying is more common than we realize. Moreover, there are millions of educators who live in fear of confrontation, ridicule, and being defamed in the community.

Moreover, those who endure bullying at work are mostly the best teachers who love children and want to make a difference in their lives.

And sadly, just like in any other case of workplace bullying, other teachers and even principals and school boards bully these teachers out of jealousy and competition.

Many of these bullied educators are people who are well-liked by students and parents. Other school officials hear kids and parents praise the good teacher and immediately envy the poor person.

Realize that bullies, especially workplace bullies, despise competition. In other words, they abhor anyone in the profession who outshines them or steals the spotlight away from them.

Therefore, they retaliate against the star worker because they feel as if this person makes them look less than. Also, they do it to preserve their ego.

Like all bullies, Bullying teachers have big egos.

It takes a special kind of person to be a teacher in today’s world. If you’re one of those brave, caring, and awesome people, know you have my utmost respect.

Know that the hard work and sacrifices you make haven’t gone unnoticed. You are one in a million and though you may not know it, I and so many others salute you!

This post was all about teachers bullying teachers and why they do it so that you can know the intentions behind the bullying if you’re a teacher who suffers workplace bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

2. Bullying Support: 7 Resources You Can Reach Out to

3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

bullying victim surrounded by bullies

Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

If you have a soft spot for those who are bullied, you often ask yourself, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” So, ‘want to know who they are. Here are the 11 characteristics of typical victims bullies like to target that you must become familiar with.

who are usually the victims of bullying

Many victims of bullying get blamed for altercations their bullies provoke because the perpetrators are experts at playing the victim and avoiding accountability. Therefore, it can be difficult for authority members to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

Who are usually the victims of bullying? This can be a tough one for superiors to figure out.

As someone who has dealt with these kinds of situations, I’m giving you all the characteristics of a typical target of bullying so that you will better be able to see through the bully’s facade and calmly call it out.

In this post, you will learn the thirteen traits of the marked person of bullying so that you will be more aware of how bullying effects you.

Once you learn about these victim features, you will be better able to report your bullies much more calmly and lessen your chances of taking the blame for their bad behavior.

This post is all about the traits of the typical victim of bullying so that you can have this information to show your superiors if ever you encounter bullies.

who are usually the victims of bullying?

When bystanders or authority witness bullying, it can be difficult for them to know which person is the bully and which is the target.

But why is this? Because most seasoned bullies are cunning, clever, and covert. In other words, not all bullies resort in physical violence.

Bruises, cuts, and broken bones are easy to see. Therefore, many bullies use psychological tactics and emotional manipulation to bully you.

Moreover, they may use psycho/emotional methods to set you up to either be physically attacked or to get into trouble with authority.

Remember that bullies have ways of slyly provoking you and setting you up to look like the aggressor.

bullies use gaslighting as a powerful tool.

Additionally, bullies have ways of gaslighting you and making you doubt your own sanity. They have a knack for manipulating your emotions and making you feel guilty for things you aren’t guilty of.

Moreover, these people also have ways of brainwashing you over time and turning you against yourself. They know how to make you feel as if you did something to justify their mistreatment and abuse.

As a result, you won’t know how to save yourself from those who unjustly accuse and label you. This is because you’ll have difficulty identifying and naming the tactics bullies use against you.

Therefore, you won’t know how to explain what is happening to you or report the bullying without sounding like you’re rambling.

 The end result will be that your bullies and the circumstances they force on you will convince you and those in power that you are the culprit.

Moreover, if you happen to be the person who witnesses someone else being bullied, you’re likely to point a finger at the wrong person.

Therefore, here are the 11 traits victims of bullying share.

1. who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people with the least power.

Having the least amount of power automatically makes you an easy target. Why? Because the less power you have, the least likely you defend yourself. Bullies instinctively know this.

Moreover, powerlessness is something you can’t hide no matter how hard you try. Why? Because it will seep through in your body language and in the way you carry yourself.

And bullies are masters at reading people. They can sniff out your weaknesses and low vibration. They’ll see you coming a mile away.

Understand that when bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water. When they sense prey, they take full advantage.

2. those with the least social capital.

In other words, they’re very unpopular and have the least amount of friends, allies, and supporters. Why, because bullies tend to defame their victims to block their chances of getting support.

Moreover, having few people or no one behind you makes you easy prey for even more bullies to come for you. Understand that a pack of wolves always goes after that one elk that gets separated from the herd.

3. Victims of bullying tend to have the least influence.

It takes a confident person and yes, even an arrogant person to have influence. People with influence not only have better control over what happens to them but also may have control over what happens to others.

Most victims have no influence because they can’t seem to control what happens to them. If they did, they wouldn’t constantly have bullies on their tail.

4. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re the people that others like or love the least.

This goes back to victims of bullying having the least social capital. If you have few people or no one who loves or likes you, then you stand the least chance of getting help and support.

Therefore, this leaves you at the mercy of bullies.

Again, predators always go after the lone animal.

5. People others hate the most.

Those who hate you want you to suffer. Hate is an obsession. Moreover, bullies do have an obsession over their victims. However, being hated can cause big problems for you.

Why, because if most people already hate you, they’re most likely to join the bullies in tormenting you.

6. Victims are usually the person people can openly bully and abuse and get away with it.

Because most victims of bullying have the least power, social capital, and influence, bystanders will most likely refuse to help them when bullies come calling. Moreover, because they’re the most hated and least liked, bystanders are likely to team up with the bullies and join in the attacks.

Add all this up and school staff, company management, or even police probably won’t help the victim either.

If you fall into this category, I cannot stress enough the importance of being your own advocate. You may be afraid to open your mouth and yes, things may get worse for you if you do. However, if you don use your voice, things will get worse anyway.

7. Who are usually the victims of bullying? They’re usually those from abusive homes or who live in poverty.

Remember that abuse and bullying are one and the same. Bullying is abuse. Therefore, victims from abusive homes become objects of bullying because they’re already wounded.

Because they’re wounded, they automatically put out that bullied vibe through their energy and body language. Unfortunately, bullies are experts at reading people and can pick up on this very quickly.

As mentioned in earlier posts, bullies are like ravenous sharks that smell blood in the water or a pack of wolves that pick out the sickest member in a herd of deer.

Therefore, they select the already-abused victim to prey on.

Bullies will also select victims who live in poverty because of the clothes they wear or their hygiene. It’s not hard to ferret out indigence because it often shows through appearance and level of cleanliness.

Moreover, these victims will often feel insecure and have low self-esteem, giving out vibes and energy that match.

Money is power and lack of it spells powerlessness. Bullying is about power. Therefore, bullies will instantly sense these things and select these victim to harass and ridicule.

Lastly, people from abusive homes and the indigent are most likely to have low self-esteem. And those with low self-esteem are dead ringers  for bullying because they’re least likely to fight back.

8. victims of bullying are usually those who are kindhearted.

Bullies automatically see kindness as weakness. Therefore, empaths and others who are sweet and kind become fair game.

Moreover, people who bully may be envious of the kindly victim’s qualities because they, themselves, lack them. So, bullies often bully the kindhearted out of jealousy.

And because the kindhearted tend to be well-loved by others, bullies also target them out of social envy.

9. Bullies also like to bully people with physical, mental, or intellectual disabilities.

Bullies are notorious for bullying anyone who is different and out of the ordinary. People with disabilities fit that bill in the eyes of many, sadly.

Moreover, cruel people often see disability as a weakness and this attracts bullies like a T-Rex to raw meat!

Here’s something else to be aware of. Because disabled people are likely to draw a monthly disability check, bullies will accuse them of fakery, laziness, and leaching on the taxpayer.

I can’t tell you the countless horror stories I’ve heard from SSDI recipients about the bullying and harassment they suffered and the same accusations their bullies hurled at them. And it’s heartbreaking!

10. Who are usually the victims of bullying? People with low self-esteem and introverts who are quiet.

Bullies can sniff out low self-esteem very quickly and from far off. In fact, they seem to have radars for it!

Low self-esteem is difficult to hide because it very subtly seeps out through your body language and your entire demeanor. Moreover, people with low self-esteem carry themselves complete different from those with healthy self-esteem.

They slouch when they sit or stand. Whereas, people with healthy self-esteem will hold their shoulders back and stand up straight.

Also those with low self-esteem tend to have downcast eyes and hold their heads down. On the other hand, confident people look up and ahead while holding their heads high and lengthening the neck.

Naturally, bullies take notice and, therefore, take full advantage!

On the other hand, bullies often select introverts who often have quiet confidence because they mistake their reserved nature for low self-esteem. This is why they often bullies get the shock of their lives when the quiet target defends themselves and ends up kicking a bully’s butt up between their shoulders.

Therefore, still waters run deep and bullies need to watch out when messing with the quiet ones. Because quiet people are unpredictable!

11. People who are exceptionally gifted and smart.

Bullies are jealous of anyone who is intelligent and gifted because they often receive recognition and accolades for those talents.

This threatens bullies’ power and status. Moreover, it delivers a huge blow to their overinflated egos. Why, because bullies have an obsessive need to be A-1 best at everything, all the time. Moreover, they crave attention and admiration and they don’t like to share it.

When some bright individual comes along and others see their talents and gifts, it automatically takes some of the favor and spotlight away from the bullies.

Therefore, is it any wonder bullies target these super-smart people to bully? Know that if you suffer bullying, it doesn’t mean that you’re weak. And it doesn’t make you a loser. So, don’t fall for all the myths out there about bullies and victims.

Also, realize that having enemies doesn’t always mean that there’s something wrong with you. In most cases, it means there’s something right about you.

If you’re a target, you must find a way to report your bullies and better explain your situation. Documentation, using the 5W rule is the safest way of not only gathering your evidence, but also reporting the bullying.

This post answers the question, “Who are usually the victims of bullying?” Moreover, it covers all the characteristics of all types of victims to debunk any myths and give you clues as to why bullies bully you and ways you can Report it and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

4. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

5. How Do Bullies Pick Their Victims? Here are Your Answers.

woman in the workplace

What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying

When you’re dealing with workplace bullying, it’s imperative that you know what not to share at work. Here are the things about your life that are better kept private.

what not to share at work

Too many people make the carnal mistake of sharing too much information at work. This is risky for anyone. However, if you’re dealing with workplace bullying, it’s not only risky, it’s the kiss of death because workplace bullies have ways of twisting information that’s innocent.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly what not to share at work so that you can minimize bullying and mobbing and protect yourself.

Once you learn about all these informational faux pas, you will better protect yourself against workplace bullying and defamation. Moreover, you will make it much harder for at-work brutes to find ammunition to use against you.

This post is all about what not to share at work. In detail, it gives you all the information no-nos that not only targets of workplace bullying, but all employees should know about.

What Not to Share at Work

Before we get into the information that’s off limits at work, let’s get into the reasons some things are better left unmentioned.

The examples below are risky for anyone to share at work. However, if you are a target of bullying, you should share as little about your life as humanly possible.

And this means, to anyone. Even your best friend.

Why? Because, when people are bullying you at work, you can’t afford to trust anyone. It doesn’t matter how close you and your only friend at work are.

It’s still isn’t a smart move because you never know when your bullies at work will succeed in turning your friend against you.  Moreover, when they do those friends will likely become willing participants in bullying you.

If you share private details about your life, it’s not a question of if but when this so-called friend spreads your business far and wide once the bullies win them over.

Therefore, never divulge any info that’s private or personal. In other words, don’t disclose anything you wouldn’t want other people to know.

Understand that any personal details can be used as fodder for bullies and their minions to defame you with.

What are examples of what not to share at work?

Here is a list of things that are better kept private.

1. Your sex life, or lack of.

Not only is it just not smart, it’s also very distasteful. Down through the years, I’ve often overheard many coworkers openly talk about their sex-life and it was embarrassing to say the least.

Anytime you publicly talk about your sex life, you make yourself look as if you have no class. Moreover, bullies and other office parasites will take it and run with it.

Bullies will likely either accuse you of being promiscuous or say that you’re not getting any at all.  Also, most people who brag about having something are usually those who don’t and have a hard time getting it.

Therefore, most people will only assume the opposite.

Nevertheless, your sex life is none of anyone else’s business and you should keep it to yourself. Therefore, keep that information in your bedroom and away from work.

2. A person in your family who has a drug addiction.

The same goes for this type of information. Family business should be kept in the family and not brought to work.  Also, workplace bullies will use it as fodder and tell everyone who’ll listen that you come from a family of druggies.

It’s just what bullies do.

Although it’s true that they may lie and say those kinds of things anyway just to make you look bad. However, at least you know that you didn’t initiate the information and it won’t be as hard on your self-esteem if you know they’re only lying.

3. What are examples of what not to say at work? Any medical conditions or diseases.

Here’s another biggie. You’re ailments should be private. If you disclose any medical issues you have, unscrupulous people will use it against you.

Moreover, supervisors with no integrity will use the information as an excuse to fire you or lay you off, especially if you’re a target of workplace bullying.

4. Any mental illnesses.

This is a definite no-no! Any disclosure of mental illnesses will immediately end your credibility not only as an employee, but as a person.

There is too much stigma around mental illness and when you tell others that you have one, no one will ever look at you the same again.

Moreover, workplace bullies accuse their victims of being mentally imbalanced all the time. Even when there’s no evidence or mention of that possibility! Don’t give them a chance to weaponize it against you. Keep it to yourself.

5. Any legal troubles- even as minor as traffic tickets.

Again, bullies will only weaponize this information against you. Even worse, they’ll embellish on it to make it bigger. It’s not worth the price you’ll pay later. Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know.

6. What not to share at work: Family issues- divorce, child custody, births, deaths, etc.

If it’s negative family issues, workplace bullies will only use it as confirmation that you’re somehow defective. On the other hand, if it’s positive, they’ll only say that you’re making it up to sound better than what you are. Also, they’ll accuse you of bragging.

It’s just better not to share anything, good or bad, that happens outside of work if you face bullying in the workplace.

7. Your past (if you’re old enough to have one).

This goes without saying. No one needs to know about your past, period. Negative things about your past could be used against you. For example, no one at work needs to know that you spent time in jail for fighting at a kegger when you were in high school.

Also, positive aspects of it could incite jealousy and resentment. Therefore, just the same, you shouldn’t tell anyone about vacationing in Europe or Bali three year ago. Especially if people bully you at work!

8. Past abuse you may have suffered.

This is also private. If you share this at work, no one will feel sorry for you. Moreover, they won’t admire you if it made you stronger or overcame the abuse. Instead, most of your coworkers won’t care.

Moreover, if you’re a victim of workplace bullying, your bullies will only say that you deserved it. Also, they may use it as confirmation that you’re weak or they’ll weaponize it against you.

It’s better to keep it under your hat.

9. What not to share at work: Your personal info (SS number, credit card number, birthdate, home aDdress, etc).

This is a no-brainer. There are so many sick people out there and if you disclose these kinds of info, you’re asking for identity theft. Also, you’re asking for a mentally deranged bully to show up at your home and either physically attack or kill you.

It’s not worth the risk! Keep it to yourself.

10. Email and passwords to social media accounts.

This goes without saying. Do you really want to risk someone hacking into your social media account and posting porn all over your page?

Thankfully, most people won’t share that kind of information and you won’t either, if you’re smart.

11. What not to share at work: Names of your family members.

If you think that some bullies won’t search for and go after their victims’ family members, you’re dead wrong. Although this doesn’t happen often, it does happen ocassionally. So, don’t chance it.

No one, especially a workplace bully, needs to know who your family members are.

12. Never brag about your daughter’s beauty pageant or your son’s perfect grades.

Again, even in non-workplace bullying situations, people will tend to view you as a braggert or a liar. Workplace bullies are certainly no exceptions. Also, you could unwillingly incite jealousy from workmates and this may bring about workplace bullying.

This goes double in you’re already in a workplace bullying situation.

13. Your views about the recent scandal at  work.

This also goes without saying. It’s best to keep any opinions of any workplace scandals at work to yourself, lest you suffer retaliation.

14. Your hobbies and interests.

Let’s face it, most people won’t care about your hobbies and interests because they’re mostly interested in their own. It’s just an unpleasant part of human nature.

Moreover, workplace bullies will find a way to attack or ridicule you with this information.

Therefore, it’s better to only bring up company and project-related topics at work. Also, it’ll also be wise to appeal to the self-interests of the company and it’s bosses and coworkers.

I guarantee you that people at your job will think more of you if you do this. ‘Just a suggestion.

15. The TV show or movie you watched last night, especially if it’s a slasher show or filled with hot-buttered sex.

Again, no one cares what you watched in the theater or on TV. Moreover, if you watched a slasher film, workplace bullies will use it to say that you have the mind of a serial killer.

Also, if you watched a sex-laden film, such as 50 Shades of Grey, they say that you’re a sex-crazed pervert. Not that you should care what anyone thinks. However, it’s just wise not to help bring any more scrutiny on yourself than you already have if you’re being bullied at work.

16. Never talk about politics! Ever! That’s a no-no subject!

With cancel culture on the rise today, this is the worst thing you can do. And you can believe that workplace bullies would love nothing more than to use politics to destroy you.

It’s not worth the risk. Never talk about politics at work!

 Workplace bullies are already looking for dirty laundry. So, why air out yours? When you’re a target of bullying, the less they know about you and your life, the better.

Also, the less likely it is that the bullying will progress to mobbing.

this post was all about what not to share at work so that you can protect yourself from becoming another casualty of workplace bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

2. Removing Toxic People: 5 Successful Ways to Give Them the Boot

3. How to Stop a Bully from Bullying You: 7 Powerful Strategies

4. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

5. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at Work: 5 Surefire Indicators to Watch Out For

‘Want to know how to spot gaslighting at work, especially if it happens to you? Here are the classic indicators of workplace gaslighting so that you can know when it’s time to to update your resume and plan your escape before your job and entire career take a huge hit.

gaslighting at work

Gaslighting at work is no joke. If you’ve been on the receiving end of it like I have, you’re wondering how you spot it and know when it’s time to carefully plan your resignation and transition to a new job with a better company.

You will learn about all the signs of gaslighting at work so that you can better protect yourself against it.

After learning about all these surefire indicators, you will be better equipped to make the decision whether to dust off your resume and get out of that toxic work environment.

This post is all about gaslighting at work. This post will give you the symptoms that every job applicant and employee with any integrity should know about

Gaslighting at work: Signs to watch for

Gaslighting is gaslighting regardless of where it happens. It is a type of manipulation to make its target doubt their own sanity and feel like they’re going out of their mind.

Although it happens at home and at school, it can also happen in the workplace.  As with all gaslighters, workplace bullies gaslight their victims to avoid accountability for their own behavior. So, what are the signs?

1. The person doing the gaslighting is usually someone higher up.

When gaslighting happens at work, the people doing it are usually supervisors or those in management who use it to abuse the employees under them. In many cases, these unscrupulous authority members use charm and deceit to do their gaslighting. Therefore, it can be hard to spot it while it’s happening.

Supervisors and managers will often use their position of power and authority as leverage. This serves to discourage the employees who work under them from challenging them or reporting their abuse.

Also, the gaslighted employee is more than likely suffering workplace bullying and mobbing. Workplace bullying can add so much stress on an employee that they may be unable to think straight. And, when you cannot think straight, it’s even harder to identify gaslighting in real time.

People in authority are more inclined to gaslight in the workplace simply because of their authority.  Why? Because they know that the word of a bottom of the hierarchy employee doesn’t carry much weight in the workplace.

Also, bottom employees face bigger threats of job loss and career ruination than those in positions of power.

In most cases of Gaslighting at work, IT’s not about right and wrong. It’s about Hierarchy.

Understand that in any case of workplace bullying, mobbing, or gaslighting, it’s not about right and wrong. It’s about hierarchy. Therefore, the unspoken message is this.

“We’re in charge, you’re not, so, we can beat our chests and get away with it. And your best bet is to shut up and take the abuse or quit and go somewhere else. Good luck with that, by the way! You still have to list us as a work reference. So, not only can we fire your butt, we can also block you from getting future employment anywhere else.”

Sadly, there are some truly psychotic managers out there and they’re a force to be reckoned with.

However, it is still possible to spot gaslighting if you remain calm and know what to look for. If you are being gaslighted by a boss, your best recourse will most likely to first, gather your evidence.

Next, you quietly secure another job with a different company and put in your two-week or thirty day notice of resignation. Finally, once you leave, you’re free to sue the pants off the company. That is, IF, you have sufficient evidence to do so.

2. the gaslighter in charge is vague in their instructions.

Bullies use vagueness as a weapon. Bully bosses are always vague in their instructions. Understand that they do this deliberately. It’s a slick way for them to withhold information that’s vital to an employee’s job performance.

Moreover, workplace bullies do this in order to make the employees they despise look incompetent. Remember this. If you ever find yourself on the wrong side of a bully boss, you can be sure that they will be looking for any excuse to fire you.

Therefore, look for them to be as vague as possible when they give you instructions on how to perform your job. In other words, they will intentionally leave out important details. Later, they will admonish you harshly, in front of an audience, to humiliate you and make you look like a moron. This is just another form of gaslighting at work.

When this happens to you, I would highly suggest that you get out your resume and look for employment somewhere else. You want to do this before things get worse. And believe me, they are about to get worse, much worse.

Therefore, it’s better to go ahead and head it off now before it escalates into something that could destroy your career.

3. gaslighting in the workplace also includes a disregard of company policy.

For instance, if an employee the bully boss doesn’t like gets hurt on the job and files a report. The supervisor will accidentally-on-purpose forget to send it through the proper channels.

Then, he will accuse the injured employee of failing to report an on-the-job accident. Therefore, this provides the evil boss just another excuse to get rid of the employee.

And who’s the upper management going to believe? The employee or the supervisor? I think you already know the answer to that question.

This is why you should always make copies of the accident report if you ever get injured on the job. You will save yourself a truckload of trouble.

Again, gather your own evidence and plenty of it. Then, when another job opportunity comes open, get the hell out of there. Once you leave that hell-hole and you’re clear of any of the bullies, then haul them into court if you have satisfactory evidence to do it.

4. moving the goalposts is another form of gaslighting at work.

Understand that if you’re on the wrong side of a workplace bully in a position of power and you are lucky enough to reach a company goal, your bully boss will move the goalposts. They do this on purpose to make you look slow.

Though you may exceed goals time and time again, realize that your bully boss may view your successes as threats to his job. Therefore, they will cheat by raising the standards so high that it will be impossible for you (or anyone else) to reach.

Therefore, this will give them plenty of fodder to exercise their authority by chewing you and everyone else out for “failing to meet the company quota.”

Don’t even try to meet those impossible goals. You’ll only wear yourself out eventually. Besides, how many attempts to satisfy these bullies are you going to make before you become exhausted?

How long are you willing to shapeshift before you realize that conforming and adapting accordingly to their standards will never yield desired results?

You’ll only end up disappointed because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully in the workplace, or anywhere for that matter.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. Realize that these people aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

Again, the best you can do is look for other employment. Then, once you have another gig lined up, blow on out the door and bid these tyrants good riddance. No job is worth your mental or physical health.

5. gaslighting at work is also done by co-workers.

Even co-workers may gaslight you in hopes of securing that coveted promotion. In other words, they kick you and others down to move up in the company.

Other forms of gaslighting by co-workers is when they take credit for your work. And when you speak out against it, they make it look as if you’re trying to take credit for theirs. In essence, they reverse the roles of victim and offender.

Consequently, this tactic is so easy it shouldn’t work. But, it does.

Other forms of gaslighting at work by co-workers include them making up negative stories about you.

Also, they will deliberately sow discord between you and other co-workers. In other words, they will cause unnecessary conflict between you and your colleagues to make you look as if you’re a troublemaker who just isn’t a team player.

Lastly, bullying co-workers will also intimidate your colleagues and threaten them with retaliation if they continue to associate with you.

In conclusion, you must remember this very important tidbit here:

Most cases of workplace bullying, mobbing, and gaslighting by co-workers have somebody high-up behind the scenes, directing the entire movie. Put another way, your co-workers are likely gaslighting and bullying you at the behest of a bully supervisor or manager.

And they do this because the person in power has given them incentives to do so. They’ve offered them promotions or maybe even huge bonuses to bully you out of your job.

Therefore, it’s imperative that you do not share anything about your life that they could use against you.

Also, you must work on an exit plan the moment you find yourself in these kinds of situations. The sooner you quit and move on to greener pastures, the better off you’ll be.

This post was all about gaslighting at work to help you decide when it’s time to prepare your exodus, cut your losses and move on to a better job and work environment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Respond to DARVO: 7 Powerful Ways to Shut it Down

2. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. What Not to Share at Work When You Suffer Workplace Bullying