Category: power

Bullies Eat Their Own: 3 Reasons Bullies Bully within Their Group

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Would you believe that bullies usually eat their own? ‘Want to know why? Here are all the details you need to know about.

bullies eat their own

This happens at school and in the workplace. When there’s are no targets available to degrade and dehumanize, bullies will begin turning on one of their own in the peer group.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies eat their own so that you can use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this strange phenomenon, you will be more knowledgeable about the mentality of bullies. Also, you will find a way to use it to your advantage.

This post is all about why bullies eat their own so that you can have more knowledge about the mindsets of bullies.

Bullies Eat Their Own

Understand that even the inner circle of the clique has a pecking order. Every clique has a leader, second in command, third and so forth (depending on how many members in the group), all the way down to the bottom rat.

Therefore, if you aren’t available, the members of the clique will turn on that bottom rat and they will be the target of the day.

And if it so happens that the bottom rat’s not available either, then the poor sucker on the second rung up is the one who will catch hell. And so on.

Crap always rolls downhill and lands on whoever is unfortunate enough to be in the basement. Moreover, what was really scandalous is that sometimes, the typical victim didn’t have to be unavailable.

If you pay attention, you can stand back and watched a lot of back-biting between the members of the bully cliques. You’ll notice that a few may go out with the other friends’ boyfriends or girlfriends behind their backs.

You’ll then notice how they smile in their faces at school or work the following Monday. However, stay out of it. Let them backstab each other all they want.

It’s their business and you know that any sane person would no part of such strange, twisted, and dysfunctional friendships.

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Sometimes, not being a part of “the clique” is a blessing!

You should consider yourself damn lucky not to be in with the cool crowd!

Why? Because, with them it’s back to back ego trips. While most targets, followers, and wannabes consider it a curse, you should consider it a blessing.

You can deal with not being in the in-crowd, that’s fine and dandy. The only thing you should have an issue with is when none of those creeps will leave you alone.

When they won’t go on about their business, and get a life, you should realize that it’s because of their own issues.

Bullying is all about power!

Remember that bullies must always have a victim. In other words, they must have someone to abuse.

Bullies need a person to look down on, to dump on, and to tell what to do and ride roughshod over. Therefore, if their usual targets aren’t available on any given day, the bullies at the top will turn on the lowest members of their own group and continue demeaning them until their regular targets return.

This is yet another reason why you should never accept being in one of the in-cliques. Must you be in one to feel validated? No.

You’re just as awesome without them. You’re also freer! Because if you’re not in a clique, you don’t have to live up to anyone’s unwritten rules or standards. Therefore, you’re free to be yourself and do your own thing. And there is nothing better!

Why Bullies Eat Their Own

Bullies can’t live without a power rush. Therefore, again, they want to have a target or a victim. In fact, they need targets. To feel almighty and powerful, bullies must have people to dominate and subjugate.

And having power over is extremely addictive to them. It’s like a drug. It’s why bullies repeatedly bully their targets over a a long period of time, years even.

Because that “drug” wears off rather quickly and it won’t be long before your bullies come back for their next “fix.”

However, what happens when you finally realize who your bullies really are behind the tough facades they put up? What happens when the masks fall off, and your bullies’ cowardice and insecurity come to light?

Oooo! This is beginning to sound delicious, isn’t it?

Here’s what happens. Once you see the real people behind the masks, your confidence will get a big boost. You’ll realize that you aren’t and never were the one with the issues.

In this, you will find that it was the bullies who had the issues all along. Then, you will finally have the courage to give the bullies the old proverbial middle finger and tell them all to go eat a fat one.

The Sudden Power Shift

Moreover, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift and the scales will automatically tip in your favor. In other words, you will no longer be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower bullies is to empower yourself.

Because, once you stop being a victim, bullies no longer have power over you. Therefore, they must go search for another victim.

When these bullies spot several potential victims, they’ll test the waters by performing several tests on these “potentials.” They will test these potential targets by watching them closely and launching subtle attacks and insults just to see how they react.

However, what will the bullies do next, when things don’t go quite the way they expect? What happens when their potentials also give them the double middle finger?

Uh-oh, now they can’t find someone they can target! Curses! Now, what’s a poor bully to do? Simple. They begin eating their own. In other words, they turn on a member of their in-group.

That’s right! Once the bullying in-group runs out of targets on the outside, they have no choice but to turn their bullying inward and start bullying people within their group.

Remember that bullies need a target victim. They need someone to dominate and subjugate to have power because they can’t get power any other way.

Without someone to ride roughshod over, to tell what to do, and to exert control over, bullies feel powerless. And you know what? They are!

Bullies Eat Their Own:

Here are 3 reasons bullies bully within their in-group.

1. Power Struggle.

Bullies will fight like hell to be on top. And if that means bullying members of their own group to do it, don’t think they won’t.

It’s human nature. Everybody wants to be on top. And if they can’t, they’ll do everything they can to stay off the bottom.

Therefore, the top two or three bullies may do things to each other to get on top. Or they may take turns bullying the bottom rats to compete with one another on who’s the toughest.

2. Their primary victim isn’t available.

When their usual victim is no longer available, bullies must search far and wide to find a replacement. In other words, when a victim finally leaves the toxic environment, it puts bullies right back to square one.

Therefore, again, they must find someone else to be their victim. And if they can’t find one, they’ll turn on one of the members of their in-group.

Understand that once a victim leaves, the bullies’ power goes with them. Without power, bullies don’t know what to do with themselves.

Here’s another thing to note. Bullies often become very angry when their target victim transfers or moves away. Why? You may wonder.

Again, it’s because they lose power over you. Understand that, bullies have a sick, twisted obsession with their victims. Therefore, if bullies have grown comfortable with jerking you around and you up and leave, the game is over. They lose power over you.

You’re out of their reach and they can’t handle it.

It’s why abusive partners won’t let their victims leave. Once the abused partner is gone, so is the power the abuser had over them. It’s the same with bullies.

And it’s the reason the thought of you leaving terrifies them.

3. Bullies Eat Their Own:

The victim pool is sparse or has shrunken.

I’ve said it many times before. Bullies don’t only want victims. They need them! Therefore, if the victim pool is non-existent, they will create victims for themselves. And this usually requires that they select someone in their friend group.

Once the selected victim leaves, it basically turns the entire environment on it’s ear. People will begin turning on each other and there will be a lot of in-fighting.

So, see this for what it is. Bullying is an obsession. It’s all about having power over someone else.

This post is all about the reasons bullies eat their own to give you another reason to feel good if you’re a victim of bullying and finally decide to get the hell out of dodge.

1. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. How to Deal with Physical Bullies

false sense of power meaning

False Sense of Power: Real Power versus the Fake Power of Bullying

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‘Want to know about the false sense of power bullies have? Moreover, do you want to know about the two kinds of power and the difference between real power and fake power? Here are all the details you need to know about.

false sense of power

Most bullies have a false sense of power. In other words, they’re arrogant and think they have more power then they actually do. As Saul D Alinsky quoted in his book, “Rules for Radicals,”

“Power is not only what you have but what the enemy thinks you have.”

In other words, bullies aren’t as powerful as they make you think they are. Much of your bullies’ power is mostly an illusion. Therefore, much of their power is fake.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn about the false sense of power. Moreover, you will learn the difference between real power and fake power. And thirdly, you’ll learn the difference between personal power and power over.

Once you learn all about these different types of power, you will feel more encouraged to stand up to your bullies and take your power back. Moreover, you’ll be compelled to expand your own power so that bullies will never bother you again.

This post is all about the false sense of power that bullies have so that it will prompt you to stand up to your bullies and take back your own power.

False Sense of Power

Real Power vs Fake Power

There is fake power and there is real power. It’s not the power bullies have. It’s the power they can make you think they have. Therefore, the power you think your bullies have is the power you give them.

Everyone knows that, deep down, at their very core, bullies are nothing but incompetent, sniveling cowards. Yet, they’re good at using force to get people to agree with them and submit to their whims.

Moreover, by using force, sometimes violence, bullies fool you into thinking you don’t have an ounce of power. However, when you allow people to hoodwink you into thinking that you are powerless, you give up your power.

Realize that the use of force is the only way bullies can have power. They draw their power by instilling terror in you. They cause you to fear their punishment. Therefore, the greater the power these bullies condition you to think they have, the more dangerous their abuse will be.

Additionally, bullies use the fear of retaliation to silence you and prevent you from telling others of their abuse. I’ll say it again, bullies are notorious for using fear and brute force to control you. However, that’s not real power.

Now, I can hear you. You are probably asking, “Well, what is real power?”

Real power is power that comes naturally and requires little effort. Here are the sources.

False Sense of Power:

Sources of Real Power (Personal Power)

1. Talents

Your natural talents and gifts are a source of real power. Why? Because you come by them naturally. Moreover, your talents give you confidence to display them.

Now, you may have talents you don’t know anything about. Therefore, if you don’t know you have them, you’re least likely to display them because you don’t know they’re there.

However, once you discover them, there’s where the power lies. And once you know you have certain talents, you’re more likely to use them to make the world a better place.

And when you can make people happy and relaxed with your talents, that’s when you have real power.

2. Emotional Intelligence (how you react to adversity)

How you react to adversity can also determine whether or not you have real power. Being able to stay calm in tough situations is a power all it’s own.

3. The right education

Knowledge is power. Period. Without knowledge, you have no power and will fall for anything. Moreover, with the right education, you’re likely to have better opportunities for great jobs. Not to mention, improved finances.

Knowledge and education are sources of real power because they are things that no one can take from you. Therefore, learn all you can!

4. False Sense of Power:

Knowing what others need and want

When you can pick up on others’ wants and needs, you have the ultimate social power. This is real power because you have the knowledge to help someone who’s in trouble. Moreover, you can also give those who are lonely a friend.

In that, you make the work a better place. Therefore, knowing others’ needs and wants is a source of real power.

5. Street smarts

Street smarts helps you to navigate difficult situations in everyday life. Moreover, when you’re street smart, you have emotional intelligence. Also, you’re able to keenly pick up on social cues and read people well.

This is real power. Why? Because people who are street smart are more likely to survive in dangerous situations.

6. Physical attractiveness

Let’s face it. Beauty is power. If you’re physically attractive, that’s a power all it’s own. Studies show that the physically attractive are more likely to get hired for good jobs and have great dating, mating, and child-bearing capabilities.

No, looks aren’t everything. In fact, you can be beautiful on the outside but ugly as hell on the inside. Moreover, many bullies are physically attractive. However, their characters suck!

Although, yes, physical attractiveness is real power, it can be used as an excuse to bully. Therefore, if you are physically attractive, make sure your personality matches your looks.

7. False Sense of Power:

Natural Charm

True charm can come natural or it can be learned and become natural. However you acquired it, if it isn’t superficial, you have a strong source of real power. Why? Because, with natural charm, you can put others at ease without trying.

Moreover, you can make them feel great about themselves. Now that’s what I call real power!

One quick note!

Bullies may also have any or all these sources of real power. However, they may use them for evil- to deceive and harm others. These bullies are the most dangerous.

False Sense of Power:

Sources of Fake Power (Power over)

1. Deception (keeping up an image)

Bullies are notorious for keeping up an impressive facade. However, understand that displaying a false persona takes work… consistent work! Therefore, this is fake power. Why?

Because you must constantly monitor yourself to keep this image of perfection. Moreover, your mask risks falling off because you’re likely to make mistakes. Then, your real personality will seep through.

Therefore, the power is fake.

2. Ultimatums

Ultimatums are sources of fake power. Why? Because they require you to use fear and force to get the other person to submit.

Moreover, there’s still no guarantee that the person will do what you want them to do. What if they’re the type who doesn’t respond to ultimatums or threats?

This is why ultimatums are sources of fake power.

3. Gaslighting

Gaslighting induces fear and self-doubt in it’s targets. Therefore, it is a form of force and coercion. Also, it’s requires consistency and hard work to keep the target under control.

Also, with the information on gaslighting that’s widely available today, the target has a chance of seeing through the mind games sooner or later. Therefore, it usually won’t last.

This is why gaslighting is a source of fake power.

4. False Sense of Power:

Bluffing

Most people know a bluff when they hear one. And some people will call a bully’s bluff. Therefore, bluffing is a source of fake power. Moreover, it is one of the weakest form of it.

5. Blocking of vital resources (food, water, money, jobs, housing, access to information, silencing of communication, money, etc.)

This is a form of fake power because this kind of power comes from coercion. Anytime a bully must use the threat of withholding bare necessities from someone to wield power over them, it’s not true power. Why? Because they’re making the person do what they want… against their will.

In other words, the person may submit but they’ll only do so for survival. Real power happens when people want to do what you want them to do. Not when you force them to.

6. Control of your thinking, words, actions, movement, etc.

This is called tyranny. Tyranny is never a source of real power. Power that comes from it is fake because, again, a tyrant forces people to obey against their will.

7. False Sense of Power:

Subjugation

Subjugation requires the use of brute force. Moreover, it demands that a bully must reinforce that power through threats and severe abuse.

Therefore, it is a source of fake power, not real power. Remember, real power comes when people are happy to do the thing you ask. In other words, the person has to be willing to fulfill a request.

With real power, there’s no need to subjugate the person by using the threat of harm.

8. Entrapment

Entrapment is fake power because the bully has the person in a place or situation they can’t escape from. For instance, let’s use the battered wife.

In many cases, the abused woman is afraid to leave or she can’t walk out on her abuser. Why? Because the abuser controls the finances. Therefore, the woman doesn’t have the funds to leave and start a life of her own.

Moreover, the abuser may threaten her life or the lives of her family. Therefore, she stays out of fear instead of her own will.

9. False Sense of Power:

Physical size and strength

This is a tricky one. Physical size and strength can be either true or fake power, depending on how a person uses it.

In other words, if a bully uses their physical size and strength to abuse, it’s not real power. Why, because no one willingly accepts abuse. They only do it under threat and coercion.

However, if a hero uses the same to rescue a baby from a burning building, then it’s real power.

10. Superficial charm

Fake can only produce fake. In other words, superficial charm is fake charm. Therefore, when you use it, you’re not getting others to comply because they want to. No.

You’re getting their cooperation through deception. Although the person may think they want to fulfill a bully’s request, if they knew the truth behind the mask, they wouldn’t want to.

Therefore, superficial charm is fake power because it, itself, is fake.

11. Position on a hierarchy (company boss, socialite, most popular kid in school, etc.)

This is another kind of power that can be either real or fake, depending on how the person uses it. If the authority member uses it for the good of everyone, then, it is real.

However, if the person uses it to do harm, then it is fake because, without that power, they wouldn’t even be a blip on most people’s radar!

Most people despise a person in authority who beats their chest and throws their weight around. Therefore, real power is when you can win hearts and minds. Being a bully doesn’t win a damn thing from people!

They may do what you want, but they’ll only do it begrudgingly. Also, a bully never knows when they just might lose that coveted position.

False Sense of Power:

the fruits of Fake power versus real power

Real power requires very little work. Whereas instilling fear and wielding force requires a lot of effort on the parts of the bullies.

Also, real power fosters trust. It makes people feel safe. While fake power violates trust and the safety and security of others. People feel threatened by fake power.

Real power is earned and acquired based on merit . Fake power is stolen and acquired by deception.

Real power comes from your innate gifts- things that can never be taken from you. Fake power comes from outer gifts, such as a high position in a company- things that can be taken from you anytime.

In short, the use of real power attracts people. The use of fake power only repels them.

Although others may seem to admire bullies, even worship them. However, they do so either because they’ve been deceived, to get something from them, or out of fear.

Fake power is superficial. And the flying monkeys and followers of a bully can evaporate so easily. I’ve seen the downfall of many a bully and the people who follow them immediately disappeared.

Therefore, you must see the bigger picture and ask yourself what sources bullies draw their power from and how they use it. You must ask yourself how much effort your bullies must expend to have the power they possess and what their motives and intentions are.

Train yourself to see behind their curtain. Most importantly, you must find ways to empower yourself without taking personal power from others.

This post is all about the false sense of power and the differences between real and fake power so that you can use this information to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

2. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

3. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical

4. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

5. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond