‘Want to know how to deal with friendship betrayal? Here are several ways to do so that you need to know about.
Victims of bullying are most susceptible to betrayal by those who masquerade as friends. Why? Because they’re vulnerable. Moreover, this vulnerability comes from the intense longing for friendship.
Predators know this. Therefore, many victims of bullying end up attracting abusers and users who only exploit vulnerability for their own ends.
In this post, you will learn how to deal with friendship betrayal so that you can confidently cut ties and come away from it with your dignity intact.
Once you learn all about these life-lessons, you will be able to better protect your dignity and self-esteem from being ravaged by predators, bullies, and fake friends.
This post is all about how to deal with friendship betrayal so that you can love yourself enough to walk away from friendships that hurt and raise your self-esteem.
How to Deal with FRIENDSHIP Betrayal
At different times in our lives, we’ve all experienced friend betrayal. Someone we thought was a friend did the unthinkable.
It’s bad enough to get played by an enemy. However, it’s something you expect from a foe.
It hurts much worse when you’re screwed over by a friend because you trusted this person. You may have even loved them. Again, you expect things like this from an enemy, but never a friend.
Therefore, when an enemy strikes against us, it’s much easier to deal with. However, when it’s someone we trusted and thought highly of, the pain is much worse. In fact, it can be devastating.
Once someone you trusted has betrayed you, it can be hard to trust anyone else who comes into our lives. And this goes for even those who may be sincere. When we meet new people thereafter, we proceed with caution and regard others with suspicion. This isn’t good either.
Why? Because, when we allow a past betrayal to cause us not to trust, we only push away those who may be sincere. We, in a sense, give the creep who betrayed us power over our future relationships.
In fact, you believe that anyone who smiles at you has an ulterior motive. Therefore, you keep them at arm’s length. You allow the fear of being hurt cause you to push others away. As a result, your relationships suffer.
Here are healthier ways to deal with friend betrayal.
1. How to deal with friendship betrayal:
Never Give The Person Who Betrayed You Power over your Future Relationships
There’s no getting around it. Life is full of risks. In fact, everything we do comes with risk, whether it’s going for a walk or driving to the supermarket.
However, you wouldn’t stop driving because of the chance of having an automobile accident. And you wouldn’t stop going for a walk because of the chance of getting mugged.
So, why would you refuse to meet and make friends because of the chance of them betraying you? Again, life’s full of risks and you can’t allow fear to stop you from living. You must live life and you must live it to the fullest!
Therefore, continue to meet new people and make new friends. Never allow the creep who betrayed you to have power over your future relationships. In other words, don’t let betrayal cause you to distrust humanity and shut new people out! That’s a recipe for misery!
New people will come into your life and you must give them a chance. Don’t make them pay a debt they don’t owe.
2. When a friend betrays you, look at it as a revelation.
If they blow that chance, it’s on them. Moreover, they only reveal their true colors.
However, continue to give new people a chance. Continue to take the risks.
The point is this. Anytime a so-called friend betrays you, they show you who they are. Therefore, the best you can do is to drop the person and move on to someone who’s deserving of your time. Understand that your time and your company are valuable.
Moreover, you shouldn’t waste it with some chump who doesn’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. So, ditch and switch, baby!
How to deal with Friendship Betrayal:
IT Isn’t the Bullies Who hurt you the most, it’s those you thought were your friends.
Again, bullies are people you expect to do bad things to you. From them, any vitriol, any vile and disgusting words and actions comes as no surprise.
What hurts more than anything is the betrayal– when those you think are friends so quickly believe the lies and rumors your bullies spread. And they seem to do it without question.
The pain of it is akin to being kicked in the stomach. Moreover, your so-called friends never have your back. Some may even the power to stop the bullying and protect you.
But, for some reason, they refused and only threw you under the bus.
What it’s like to have true friends
Friends are the people who believe the best of you. They have your back any time someone attacks you. Moreover, they’ll speak on your behalf when another person badmouths you behind your back but in front of them.
Even better, they’ll stick up for you even when you’re not around to see them do it. Real friends are with you no matter what, especially when the chips are down. They will go to hell and back for you.
However, many victims of bullying have friends who don’t really accept them. They only tolerate them. Therefore, instead of sticking up for them, they’ll go along with the bullies. They’ll believe the lies about you, without bothering to ask you first!
Get away from these people. Fast! Because they’ll only sell you out!
How to Deal with Friendship betrayal:
Would you rather be harmed by a bully or someone you think is a friend?
Rejection and mistreatment from a bully are easier to deal with. Why? Because, from a bully, you expect nothing more.
However, it’s much harder to take when it comes from someone you think highly of. When everyone bullies you, you’ll often keep fake friends around because you think they’re the only options you have. It’s quite pathetic when you really think about it.
Because bullies have turned everyone against you and made it difficult for you to make friends, you may feel that you can’t afford to be selective. That you must settle for the friends you have, even if they treat you like you’re last choice.
I say this from experience. The betrayals I suffered years ago is why I’m so selective of who I let in my life today. It’s also why I prefer to keep my circle small.
I’d rather have only a handful of real friends than a million half-baked, fake ones. But we don’t value ourselves like we should when we’re teenagers. We haven’t had enough life-experiences yet.
3. Be concerned with quality of friends, not quantity.
Too many people are overly concerned with having a large number of friends. However, they don’t realize that real friends are a rare commodity and don’t come around every day.
Finding genuine friends is like opening a thousand empty oysters and finding only five or six pearls. These are the friends who are worth more than gold! And if you have them, you’d better appreciate them for all that they are!
Why? Because they’ll have your back. They’re the people who have your best at heart and will go to bat for you under the worst conditions.
4. How to deal with friendship Betrayal:
When you meet new people, don’t wonder whether they’ll like you. Wonder if you’re going to like them.
When you meet a new person for the first time, don’t wonder whether they’ll like you. Start wondering whether you are going to like them. This is how you place value on yourself.
Begin choosing who you let in and who you give the boot. If a friend betrays you somehow, stop having anything to do with them. Then keep it moving.
Betrayal in any form is a deal-breaker and you must handle it by telling the traitor to hit the road.
5. Know what you want in a friend and don’t settle for anything less.
Anything less than what you want is unacceptable. Loyalty is a virtue you should look for. If the person isn’t loyal, they aren’t worthy of your time!
I want you to understand that if you have friends who believe falsehoods about you, then get angry and refuse to speak to you, guess what? These people are not your friends. They never were!
Why else would they take your bullies’ word over yours and be so quick to turn against you?
You may ask, “Well, if they never were my friends, why did they stick around?”
Maybe those you thought were your friends only tolerated you because they felt sorry for you. And if that’s the case, why would you settle for someone’s pity?
Here’s another possibility. Maybe your so-called friends didn’t have many options themselves. You were only a second choice friend, or worse! The last-resort-friend! Ewww! Who wants that!
Therefore, if you have friends who don’t stand with you. In other words, if they fade into the woodwork when your bullies attack you, they’re not worth your time or energy. Friends like that don’t deserve the privilege of being a part of your life.
How to deal with Friendship Betrayal:
6. Be willing to be alone until better friends find you.
You’re better off without them. You need to ditch these losers and find better friends, even if it means you have to be by yourself for a while.
Hey, I know it sucks. Nobody wants to be alone. However, you must learn to be your own best friend before anyone else can.
Sometimes you must clean out all the trash to make room for the good stuff- the people who deserve to be in your life.
When you’re a target of bullying in school or at work, you can’t afford to put all your trust in anyone, not even those who seem to be your friends. I’m not suggesting you be overly suspicious, only nonchalant.
Why? Because in a toxic area, you will have a few nosy wolves in sheep’s clothing around you. They’ll try to get close to you for no other reason than to probe for intimate details about you and your life.
Moreover, they will also study you like a lab-rat to see how you react to certain things. Also, they’ll find out your opinions, especially opinions of your bullies and other people you go to school or work with. Why? To report back to your bullies with.
Here are ways that you can pick up on peoples’ hidden attitudes and intentions.
1. Always observe the people around you.
Just do it without looking like you’re watching. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment. This is how you’ll read the room. Moreover, you’ll quickly pick up on the moods and sense the elephant in the room, if there is one.
2. How to deal with friendship betrayal:
Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context.
Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with their words, background, or the situation, ditch these losers! If they show even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”
3. Watch for micro flashes.
There are always those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it. If they do realize it, they’ll give those when they think you aren’t aware of it. You can’t afford to miss these giveaways!
There are good actors; don’t get me wrong. However, there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily. Even the best fakers have no control over these little tells. So, if you look for them, you’ll see them.
For example, when you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see a tiny micro flash of contempt on their faces out of the corner of your eye. Then, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut. Don’t ignore that because you’re not imagining things! Eighty-six, these creeps fast!
4. Notice the person’s feet.
You can tell a lot by the feet! The person might be talking to you and facing you. However, if their feet are pointing away from you, they aren’t the friend you think. Put some distance between you and that person.
5. How to Deal with Friendship Betrayal:
Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.
If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language.
In other words, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say. It’s time to make an excuse to end the meeting and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.
6. Looking at you without blinking
if they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt. Also, they may be trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.
7. Other signs to look for
Things you should look for also include, a furrowed brow, one corner of the upper lip slightly raised or an icy, piercing stare. Also notice if the person is smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes).
If you see any of these signs, you might want to distance yourself.
8. If they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away
Also a sign of contempt. Therefore, you want nothing to do with these people.
9. Watch what you share
Very important! Don’t tell anyone anything they don’t need to know. Not even to those who seem friendly. Don’t reveal information that’s better off private.
Also, don’t badmouth anybody, especially the bullies, to anyone. They may smile in your face, but you can be sure they’ll report back to the bullies with anything you say and try to fan the flames.
10. How to Deal with Friendship Betrayal:
Watch for eavesdroppers
If you have an innocent conversation with someone in the hall, be on the lookout for eavesdroppers. Also, don’t talk near corners or open doors.
Many times people will listen in on your discussion, then report back to the bullies with it. Therefore, be alert when people walk by.
If you see other people standing around while you’re speaking and they aren’t a part of the conversation, take the discussion to a place more private.
In Conclusion:
How you handle friendship betrayal is to get rid of the so-called friend who betrayed you. And do it without explanation.
Now, many fake friends will notice when you stop associating with them. Moreover, they’ll come ask you why you won’t talk to them. Then you can tell them why. But tell them in as few words as possible.
However, expect the person to gaslight you. Why? Because it’s what most fakes do once you get wise to their BS.
But don’t fall for it. Stuck to your guns and have no more to do with them. Then be willing to be alone for a while until you meet and befriend better people. Have faith. Better friends will come along. I promise!
This post was all about how to deal with friendship betrayal so that you can move on with dignity and self-respect.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?
2. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends
3. Acceptance and Tolerance: 5 Best Ways to Know the Difference
4. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them
5. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You
