Category: bullying

know your worth lyrics

Know Your Worth: 4 Reasons It’s Important

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, ‘Want to know why you should know your worth? Here are all the reasons you need to know.

know your worth

Bullying is hurtful, no matter how confident you are. We’re all human, and we all have feelings and emotions. However, the effects are even more damaging when we look only outside ourselves for our value.

In fact, the damage to self-esteem is exponentially more serious. Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you must know your worth.

Once you know all about these facts, you will realize that true worth comes from within. Then you will do the inner work you need to do.

This post outlines the reasons you should know your worth and how to begin today.

Know Your Worth

Your worth must come from inside you. Why? Because when you look outside of yourself for your value, you automatically look to others to give it to you. And when you do this, you put yourself at their mercy.

Therefore, to know your worth is the foundation of confidence and healthy self-esteem. Understand that your worth comes from within and never from without.

Here’s Why.

1. You can never control the Atmosphere around you.

There will be times when you find yourself in a toxic environment. Moreover, you will be surrounded by poisonous people. Toxic people are everywhere.

They can frequent the school you attend, the company you work for, or the home or neighborhood you live in.

When you know your value and let it come from the inside, bullying won’t have such an impact on you. It will hurt, yes. But it won’t be nearly as devastating.

Additionally, you won’t suppress as much of yourself to fit in. Why? Because, deep down, you’ll already know the value you bring. And you’ll realize that the negative people around you are only trying to diminish you.

Then, you will be more determined not to let them. You will do what you must to maintain your self-worth despite their behavior.

Know Your Worth:

Sometimes it’s best to walk away from toxic people.

Also, when the crap gets too thick, you’ll know when it’s time to walk away. You’ll bail out of relationships that don’t fulfill you. Why? Because you’ll realize that you don’t deserve this kind of treatment.

Therefore, you’ll know that you’re better off leaving this cesspit and moving on to greener pastures.

Moreover,  you’ll do it without feeling guilty. You’ll do it knowing that it isn’t because you’re “chicken” or “running away from your problems” but because you deserve better.

You’ll have the courage to do what’s best for you and you won’t care if they like it or not.

2. You can never control others’ behavior and how they think of you.

This is another reason it’s never advisable to rely on others’ approval. Understand that there will always be people who don’t like you and some who even hate you.

When you depend solely on others’ approval, you become a doormat. Please, for your own sake and the sake of your mental health, don’t give anyone that kind of power!

When your value comes from within, you will have respect for yourself. You will love yourself and have strong self-esteem. Also, you will give yourself compassion and care when others take potshots at you.

And you will have the confidence and courage to protect yourself and stand up to abuse. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to blame yourself for their behavior.

Why? Because you will know without a shadow of a doubt that they are the ones who have the issues and not you.

Realize that everyone serves a good and higher purpose here. You may or may not know what that purpose is, but you are here for a purpose.

Find that purpose and fulfill it. And know that you have value.

3. Know Your Worth:

You’re better able to withstand bullying attacks.

When people target you for bullying, loving yourself can be very difficult. How do you know your worth when it seems that the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts, and attacks, even for a short time, makes life more complicated than it needs to be.

However, over time, bullying can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that others tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may behave, you must do everything possible to hold on to your worth! Even if you have to look at yourself in the mirror every day and make positive affirmations.

Loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some difficult decisions to earn that love and respect.

Again, sometimes, you have to walk away. And you must do it, knowing full well that there is always a chance that the person may never see your worth.

And this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

Know Your Worth:

self-love sometimes means making difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. They may eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible.

It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

However, if it does not happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect you know you deserve.

Again, you must love yourself, or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

the movie “good will hunting” can teach you a valuable lesson about worth.

When I watched the movie “Good Will Hunting” for the first time almost thirty years ago, the character Will Hunting reminded me of myself in high school. He was bullied, angry, lashing out at people, and would fight at the drop of a hat if someone stepped on his toes.

I wasn’t a genius like he was. But still, there’s a moral to the movie.

Will, although highly intelligent and talented, had been conditioned to think he was worth less than he was. Therefore, he worked as a college janitor at the beginning of the movie.

With his smarts, Will could have any job he wanted. Only, he didn’t know it.

Because Will had a difficult start in life, he had lost sight of his self-worth. The character, Will Hunting, learned the hard way that you must know your worth to be happy and have a good life.

Therefore, know that you have value and that you matter. And if you’re blind to that, you’ll never be successful at anything.

4. If you don’t know your worth, you won’t reach your potential.

You’ll end up settling for less than you deserve. As a result, you’ll sell yourself out in every area of life.

For example, you’ll settle for crummy, dead-end jobs that pay a pittance. Also, you’ll accept dates and partners you aren’t even remotely interested in. And you’ll latch onto fake friends who treat you shoddily.

One thing Will did have is great friends who had his back. Those guys would’ve laid down their lives for him.  So, I can say that Will chose his buddies wisely.

But in every other area of life, he sold himself short. And his best friend finally told him that, in so many words, toward the end of the movie.

As the old saying goes, “If you settle for less, you get even less than what you settled for.”

I hate to admit that I did the same when I was young. And I got even worse than what I settled for. And why did I do that?

It was all because others had programmed me to believe that mere crumbs were the best I could do. And let me tell you, it royally sucked!

That’s what happens if you don’t know your worth.

Fortunately, I eventually worked my way out of that mindset. I now live a better and happier life.

It wasn’t easy, but it got better once I began drumming into my own head that there was more out there for me and that I deserved a good life as much as anyone else.

Will Hunting also got the message at the end of the movie. He eventually recognized his value and found the courage to pursue the life he wanted.

In closing:

Your worth is not conditional. And it is not up for debate. So, isn’t it time you started getting more of what you want and deserve out of life?

Make the decision today to know your worth. Begin aiming higher! Apply for that 90K per year job you may or may not qualify for.

Go ask out the girl whom you initially thought was out of your league. Command respect and love from others and return the same to them.

Aim higher than you ever have, and watch your life change for the better. You will be amazed at the rewards!

This post is all about the importance of knowing your worth so that you can begin taking steps to empower yourself and better your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.  A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

2. Know Your Worth As a Woman: 5 Rules to Live by

3. Loving Yourself First: 7 Amazing Benefits of Treating Yourself Well

4. Walking Away from Fake Friends

5. Standing Against Bullying: 3 Reasons It’s Worth the Risk

resilience quotes

Resilience: 16 Ways to Stand Tall When You Suffer Bullying

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‘What is resilience? Here’s what it is and how it helps you overcome bullying.

resilience

Resilience is essential for overcoming bullying. In fact, it’s how you defeat any adversity. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about it so that you can overcome anything that tries to bring you down.

Once you learn these critical life lessons, you will be able to overcome any challenges you face.

This post is about resilience, to assure you that you still have some control over your circumstances.

What is Resilience?

Resilience is the ability to bounce back from adversity quickly. You may bend, but you don’t break. So, how do you stay resilient?

Here are all the ways to do it.

1. By Knowing Yourself

When you know yourself inside and out, you know, without a doubt, the definition of who you are. In other words, you won’t allow bullies and abusers to define you.

Instead, you only accept your own definition of yourself. And you can more easily avoid bullying because you’re better able to recognize it. And when you can recognize abuse, you’re least likely to put up with it. Moreover, your self-esteem won’t take such a massive hit.

Knowing yourself is freedom!

2. Know what you want, and what you will and will not tolerate.

Refuse to accept what you won’t tolerate. Focus on your wants and needs and work hard to achieve them. This means working on yourself. Moreover, it means working toward your goals and your aspirations.

This is of the utmost importance. Why? Because when you’re too busy working on yourself, you won’t pay attention to your bullies. You’ll care less about anyone’s opinions other than your own.

3. Resilience:

trust yourself to make the right decisions.

Here’s a little nugget you should know: your first instinct is usually the correct one.

For instance, any time you have bullies shaming and ridiculing you, your first instinct is to get away from them. However, when they see you’re leaving, they may mock you.

They may say, “Are you scared? Is that why you’re leaving? Don’t be a wuss. Stand up and face us.” They may even tell you, “You’d better run!”

You’re not afraid to put your hand up and walk away when toxic people accost you. Why? Because you don’t have time for foolishness and drama.

Sure. The taunts might sting a little, but they won’t crush your spirit.

4. Practice speaking out and showing your emotions.

Resilience means that you won’t feel the need to hold back emotions. You’ll be able to recognize them better and allow yourself to feel them. In some situations, it may be okay to express them.

Don’t let others tell you how you should feel. Never allow bullies to shame you into suppressing yourself.

You wouldn’t want to break down crying in front of everyone at school because a bully called you a name. Instead, you’d show annoyance and tell the bully to get stuffed.

Also, you wouldn’t cry publicly at work because the boss chewed you out or your project fell flat. You’d just stick out your chest and try to do better the next time.

However, you would cry at the funeral of a loved one. In fact, during those times, it’s perfectly acceptable to cry.

5. Resilience:

be yourself.

Know that you don’t have to put on a big front and try to act like someone you’re not. There’s no need to try to fit in with anyone. You don’t have to prove your worth to anyone.

When you’re willing to be yourself, you know your worth. You accept that you are valuable, regardless of what people say or where you are in life.

Those who aren’t authentic will follow the crowd and try to fit in. People who are insecure about themselves will accept others’ definitions of them without realizing it.

They build fake identities based on others’ expectations and ideas of who they should be. But not you. You are true to who you are.

You would rather be original because you understand that originals are like famous paintings and artwork. They’re much more valuable than copies. Therefore, you refuse to be a cheap knock-off!

6. Refuse to blame yourself for others’ behavior.

Realize that other people’s behavior is no reflection on you. It only speaks volumes about their own lack of morals, decency, and character.

Know that what your bullies do to you is wrong. Now, this inner realization may or may not stop them from attacking you. In fact, it may make the abuse worse.

However, instead of hating and blaming yourself, know in your heart that they are the bad ones. Realize that they’re only projecting their own shortcomings onto you. A bully’s accusation is usually a confession.

7. Resilience:

trust your gut.

Listen to what your gut tells you. Pay close attention to the vibes you’re getting from the people around you. The energy people put out never lies.

This is how you maintain your inner strength and sense of self. It takes listening to your instincts when they signal that you should be cautious around certain people.

And don’t be ashamed of it. Instead, pay close attention to how your body reacts when you’re around certain people. You may not be able to pinpoint it. And you may not know why you’re having these yucky bodily sensations.

However, you must still pay attention to what you’re feeling.

  • Does your body automatically tense up?
  • Do you have that bad feeling in the pit of your stomach?
  • Does something feel off about the person or people you’re with?

If so, know that any one of these symptoms is your cue to get away from these people… and fast!

8. Resilience:

Be Confident.

When you’re being bullied by everyone, holding onto your confidence can be challenging. And that’s putting it mildly. Moreover, after being bullied, it can sometimes take years to regain the confidence you lost.

However, there are steps you can take to buffer your confidence and mitigate the impact of their attacks. Here’s a shortlist of ways to build your confidence.

  • Watch and listen.
  • Know that you aren’t the only one these creeps have bullied.
  • Befriend others your bullies have bullied.
  • Collect info on your bullies.
  • Keep company only with those who love you and want the best for you.
  • Show off your talents and gifts.
  • Do the things you enjoy.
  • Be there for others who are suffering.
  • Look your best.
  • Make positive affirmations.
  • Find someone to talk to about what you’re going through.
  • Never internalize any labels others stick to you.
  • Stop caring about others’ opinions.
  • Don’t be silent. Speak out!

If your confidence wanes, so does your performance, social abilities, and everything else! Therefore, guard it with your life. Why? Because your life truly does depend on it!

9. If you have a negative mindset, work to change it.

If people bully you at school or at work, you’re more likely to feel insecure. Moreover, you’ll have a horribly negative outlook. Therefore, it will require significant reprogramming to change.

Also, it will be the hardest thing you have ever done. It is easy to change certain things about yourself. However, changing ingrained thought patterns is one of the most challenging tasks. And it won’t happen overnight.

Negative thought patterns can take years to change completely.

However, once you start, you will gradually notice a positive difference in your outlook. Additionally, your circumstances will improve.

10. Resilience:

Turn Every negative thought into a positive thought.

For instance, you have a test or an interview coming up, and you ask yourself, “What if I fail?” or “What if I don’t make it?”

Immediately catch yourself. Then, turn that thought into a positive one by asking yourself, “What if I pass?” “What if I succeed?” or “What if I do make it?”

Or, if you find yourself thinking, “What if things go wrong?” Immediately turn it around and ask, “What if things go right?”

Also, if you catch yourself thinking that you’re a loser. Tell yourself, “No. I’m a winner.”

And talk to yourself like you would your best friend. Instead of putting yourself down, begin building yourself up. Encourage yourself to keep going when things get tough. Give yourself the love you would give to your family and best friends.

Continue doing this until thinking positively becomes like second nature!

11. Maximize your chance-opportunities.

If you’re talented in writing and you find a writing contest, enter the contest. In other words, instead of letting this opportunity pass you by because you’re too afraid that you’ll lose, face your fears and enter the contest anyway.

And you never can tell. You might win that contest! The point I’m making here is to try! Because if you don’t try, you don’t know. Put another way, if you try, you at least have a good chance of winning. However, if you don’t, there’s no chance of it.

Therefore, taking risks is crucial to achieving positive change in your life.

12. Resilience:

Get out of your comfort zone.

This brings us back to what we mentioned in the last section, taking risks. Resilient people take risks. And because they take risks, they score many successes.

This isn’t to say you’ll succeed every time; you won’t. Even resilient people fail sometimes. However, they don’t let failure stop them.

They do not give up. Instead, they move on to the next opportunity and keep trying until they succeed.

Remember the line in Rocky Balboa, “It ain’t about how hard you hit, it’s about how hard you can get hit. It’s about how much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done.”

In other words, the resilient get hit all the time, but they keep going. They continue to take risks and don’t stop until they reach their target. And that’s how they win! So, don’t be afraid to take risks!

13. Set goals and work hard to achieve them.

Set goals and go after them. Work hard and don’t quit until you achieve those goals. Moreover, never let bullies and jealous people discourage you.

Why? Because if word gets out that you’re working on a goal, there will be those who will do everything possible to discourage you. And this goes especially if you suffer from bullying. Therefore, keep striving and don’t stop until you reach the finish line.

14. Resilience:

Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

You and they have something in common. Therefore, this should be a piece of cake! Align yourself with these other victims.

And be there for them when they need you. In fact, be there for those who are suffering. Why? Because if you’re there for them, then it’s likely that they will be there for you, too.

Understand that strength comes in numbers, and human predators prefer loners.  If you band together with other victims, they will think twice before accosting you. But most of all, it will enhance your resilience.

15. Keep company only with those who uplift you.

A true friend uplifts you and helps your confidence soar. They encourage you, have your back when you’re in trouble, and cheer you on when you succeed.

All too often, victims latch on to fake friends – frenemies who only tolerate them. These frenemies will subtly humiliate you in public. Then they throw you under the bus when you’re in trouble.

Resilience wanes sometimes. Therefore, to stay resilient, you must feed your confidence by surrounding yourself with only those who encourage you.

Resilience:

16. Make affirmations every day.

This is as easy as looking in the mirror each morning and making “I am” statements to yourself. For example, you can say,

  • “I AM beautiful.”
  • “I AM smart.”
  • “I AM better than what they say.”
  • “I AM a good person.”
  • “I AM worthy of love and friendship.”
  • “I deserve respect and dignity.”

There are many affirmations you can choose to tell yourself. This may be awkward at first. However, the longer you practice this technique, the more natural it will feel.

And, most importantly, the better you will feel about yourself. This produces resilience.

In closing

Resilience can determine the entire trajectory of your life. It determines your successes and failures because you need it to avoid giving up when times get tough.

Therefore, it’s crucial to remain resilient when you experience bullying. Thinking positively also helps. Remember that bullies want you to give up. They want you to quit.

Don’t give them what they want. Be someone they find hard to bring down.

This post was all about resilience and how important it is to have it when you suffer from bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

3. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

bullying explained for kids

Bullying Explained: 5 Reasons it’s Not About You

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Here is bullying explained. Bullying is nuanced. Therefore, the mechanics are complex for most people to understand. Here are a few fun facts you need to know.

bullying explained

 

 

 

Bullying is very complicated and nuanced. It’s why it can be confusing to know how to address it. Therefore, this post is bullying explained in the simplest terms. It is written to address any confusion you may have.

Once you understand it, you will be able to recognize it for what it is and address it appropriately.

This post is bullying explained so that you can better understand it and feel more confident knowing it isn’t about you.

Bullying Explained

To explain bullying. We must understand all the universal facts about it so we can address it more effectively. So, what are the universal facts about bullying?

1. Bullying is patterned and predictable

This is great news for targets, and here’s why.

Because it’s proof that it really isn’t about you at all, you see? The tactics used have been weaponized against millions of others throughout history.

Additionally, once you identify the pattern, it becomes harder for others to bully you. You can also predict, with high accuracy, what your bullies will do next in almost any scenario.

For example, you instinctively know that reporting bullying may escalate it. You’ll also be able to recognize when it becomes a pattern.

As a result, you’ll begin saving any evidence of it. You will save incendiary emails, messages, and texts. Also, you’ll take screenshots of bullies’ comments on social media and begin documenting incidents in detail.

You will quietly gather your evidence and ensure you save everything. Then, you will make multiple copies on multiple flash drives and store each copy in a different location.

Depending on the laws in your area, you may be able to begin wearing discreet body cameras. Or you’ll keep a digital audio recorder to document bullying incidents and make copies of those recordings.

Bullying Explained:

When you know what’s next, you may be about to block an attack before it happens.

You’ll be able to stay one step ahead of your bullies by taking pictures of all completed work. You will make copies of important papers and receipts to keep in your CYA file at work or school.

You can even make copies of your homework. And you’ll do it in case your bullies steal it to sabotage you and get you in trouble with teachers.

Again, bullying behavior and tactics are patterned and predictable. And the reason they are so is that they are both universal and timeless.

Therefore, their behavior and tactics are nothing new. It’s the same worn-out crap that has been used since the beginning of time. And the reason we haven’t wised up to it is that we’ve ignored it.

A problem ignored is a problem that goes unsolved.

When you ignore or overlook something, you don’t pay attention to it. Therefore,  you aren’t observant of it. Unfortunately, you’ll miss key tactics and behaviors you need to protect yourself.

To observe a pattern of bullying, you must watch bullies closely without appearing to do so. Sadly, many haven’t considered it important enough.

And the reason they haven’t taken it seriously is that, for centuries, they considered it a regular part of human behavior.

Moreover, society assumed that it happened to everyone and that it built character. Yes, bullying is a dark part of human behavior, but so is murder. Yet we don’t overlook murder.

The best way to address it is to not only build victims’ confidence. We must also teach them to recognize when standard teasing morphs into bullying.

We must also teach them how to quietly expose it and call it out when it happens to them.

2. Bullying explained:

It’s not about you, it’s about the bully.

Anytime you are the object of a bully’s hostility, it really isn’t about you. It’s about them. Here are things bullies tell their targets and the real meaning behind them.

You’re fat! You’re ugly! Or You’re weird, nerdy, etc.

What is the meaning behind it? It depends on the circumstances. If the target is heavier, the bully is only pointing it out to make themselves feel better.

What the bully is really saying is, “I have flaws that I’m afraid are worse and more noticeable than yours. So, I’m going to point out your flaws to distract everyone’s attention from my own.”

“You snitched on me! Now You’re Going to Pay!”

Here’s what the bully is actually saying.

“You exposed me and got me into trouble! You made me look like the bully that I really am! And you outed my true personality and humiliated me! So, I’m going to get back at you for it!”

Bullying explained:

“You think you’re so smart, cute, cool, pretty,” etc.

Here’s the meaning behind it.

“Your good qualities overshadow mine! I’m living in your shadow! Your talents and natural gifts are better than mine, and you’re getting more attention than I am! You make me feel inferior! So I’m going to put you in your place by crushing your self-worth! I’m going to convince you that you’re not that important! And I’ll make you too afraid to show your good qualities! Then I can shine!”

“You make me want to…”

Anytime someone mistreats you and says that you make them do it, they’re only telling you,

“ I’m afraid of being unmasked and being held responsible for my horrid behavior. So I’ve got to blame you so I can be let off the hook and leave you holding the bag! If I can make you look like the bully, I can keep on screwing with you anytime I want. Why? Because no one will believe you if you snitch on me again!”

“Nobody Likes You!”

What the bully is really saying:

“Nobody likes me either. They only pretend to. So I’m going to make you think nobody wants you to crush your confidence! Then hopefully, you’ll withdraw from people and self-sabotage your own relationships!”

“Bullying Explained:

I don’t like you!” or “I hate you!”

Here’s what the bully is really saying:

“You make me feel inferior! You intimidate me! And you outshine me in some way! You have what I want and can never have! So, I’m going to hoodwink you into believing you did something to cause me to hate you. And, hopefully, I’ll ruin your self-esteem!”

Bullies have big egos. It always goes back to them. They’re all about “Me,” “Myself,” and “I.”

3. You aren’t the first, and you won’t be the last.

To fulfill their quest for power and to dull their insecurities. Those who are best at getting away with it didn’t get that way overnight. No.

They learned through trial and error. They’ve figured out what works and what doesn’t. And every time they screwed up and got caught, they never learned their lesson. They only got sneakier and learned what not to do with their next victim.

Therefore, with each new victim, they got a little sneakier. In that, they get a little better at covering their behinds. They get smarter until they finally become undetectable to anyone outside the power dynamic.</p>

Bullying Explained:

This is how they became experts!

Understand that these bullies have left a long trail of ruined lives behind them. Moreover, they’ve left many broken or angry people in their wake. Only they’ll never tell you about that.

That said, there were many before you, and there will be many more after you. You aren’t alone, and you’re not the only one they’ve bullied.

I’ve said it once, and it bears repeating: If possible, you must find out who their past victims are. Then you need to build relationships with and align yourself with them. You would be surprised by what you find.

You may gain valuable insights into their lives. What you discover about them can be used as a powerful weapon! Always remember that!

4. Bullying is designed to make the bully look cool.

Know that it isn’t about you. It’s never about the victim. It’s always about the bully. Bullies bully to make themselves look big and tough.

You see, if they can look cool by being cruel. They’ll do it. Bullies have an image to maintain.

5. BULLYING is a zero-sum game.

For some, it is a means to climb the social ladder. But for them to rise, you must fall.</p>

The bullies have all the power, and you have none. Bullies believe that for them to attain happiness, you mustn’t have it. For them to have joy, you must suffer. It’s an unhealthy balance not only for you but also for them.

In Conclusion

Know that your true power resides within you. It’s something nobody can take away from you unless you allow them to.

And your power comes from recognizing that their behavior isn’t about you. Also, it comes from finally realizing you don’t have to tolerate toxic people.

Tap into that power, and you’ll be able to tip the scales and restore balance to power. Even better, you’ll find peace and confidence you never thought possible.

This post was bullying explained so that you won’t blame yourself. Instead, you’ll put the blame where it belongs and take back your power and YOUR life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying: What Is It? And What are the 10 Types of It?

2.  Definition of Bullying: Is the Person a Bully or just an Asshole?

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

signs of a catty woman at work

Signs of a Catty Woman: 13 Characteristics of Female Bullies

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A catty woman is just another name for an adult female bully. ‘Want to know the signs of a catty woman? Here are all the tell-tale indicators that you need to know about.

signs of a catty woman

A catty woman can sometimes be very seductive. It is that seductiveness that lures unsuspecting people into relationships and friendships with her.

In this post, you will learn all the signs of a catty woman so that you can better protect yourself against her.

Once you learn these indicators, you will be able to spot her. Then, you will be able to avoid her like the plague.

This post will give you all the signs of a catty woman so that you can spot her and avoid her to protect yourself from female bullying.

Signs of a Catty Woman

Females aren’t as open with their evil as males. A catty woman is seductive and sneaky. She bullies on the down low, which is why she’s hard to detect. Luckily for you, there are signs you can look out for if you know what to look for.

So, without further ado, here are all the traits you need to watch for.

1. Dirty Looks

These kinds of women and girls will smile in your face. They will pour on the insincere compliments. Then, as you turn your back, you may notice those split-second micro-flashes of hate when she thinks you aren’t looking.

Moreover, you will see these things out of the corner of your eye. However, this happens so quickly that it’s easy to overlook. When you see this, you may wonder, “Did I see her give me a dirty look, or am I imagining things?”

Um, no, sweetie, you aren’t imagining things. Chances are that she did. Therefore, don’t ignore this.

You don’t necessarily need to confront her on it right away because she will convincingly spin it against you. However, do be aware. Keep your distance quietly, and that should be enough to protect yourself.

2. Signs of a Catty Woman:

Passive-aggressive Behavior

Catty women are often very passive-aggressive. Examples of passive-aggression include the silent treatment. Also, if you throw a party and give her the starting time, she may intentionally show up late.

Being bullied by someone who is passive-aggressive is the most demeaning and humiliating experience. When these types of women insult you, they’re slick about it.

They catch you off guard. They taunt you in such a way that you may have difficulty figuring out who it’s aimed at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you. That is, until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.

Why? Because the bully may not necessarily address it to you. Instead, they’ll tell it to everyone else around you… right in front of you. 

However, they’ll do it in a way that leaves you in doubt. You will question yourself.

  • “Am I hearing this correctly?”
  • “Is this creep talking to me without saying it directly to me?

You don’t want to look foolish if someone is talking about someone else rather than you. However, your gut is nagging the hell out of you.

And while you may not be sure, you can bet that bystanders and witnesses nearby immediately know who the covert nastiness is meant for. It’s funny how we tend to see so much clearly from the outside.

What you just experienced is called a sneak-diss.

sneak-dissing.

 Sneak dissing is a form of attack where a passive-aggressive bully talks about someone without mentioning their name.

What’s so terrible about sneak dissing is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. They can quickly fly over your head. And you end up looking weak and like a clueless idiot for not catching it in time.

And even though the bully’s words are vague and unclear, they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They will take a chunk out of your confidence whether you want them to or not.

Why? Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.

When others sneak-diss you, they do it within earshot. And they won’t call you by name, but they will talk about you. The reason female bullies do this is to avoid a direct conflict with you.

Therefore, you must see sneak-dissing for what it is. It is a coward’s way of addressing an issue.

You’ll usually know they’re talking about you. How? Your gut instinct will be nagging you like an alarm clock that won’t shut off.

3. Signs of a Catty Woman:

Badmouthing You Behind Your Back

These bitches don’t have the guts to say it to your face, but they’ll talk about you to everyone else. If nothing else, understand this. If they can’t say it directly to you, they’re cowards.

And, on a positive note, at least they still have enough respect not to say it to you openly.

Nevertheless, these kinds of women aren’t worth your time. So, you should see them for the creeps they are and avoid them.

And let them talk. Why? Because their lies and gossip say more about them than you. Besides, you must have life going pretty well for you if they can’t keep your name out of their mouths.

Moreover, you consume their every thought. So, who really has the power here?

4. Controlling Behavior

These kinds of women may bully you because they want to control your life. They may try to maintain your social life by spreading rumors to turn others against you.

Or they may insult you to undermine your confidence. If they’re trying to control your self-esteem, you must do whatever it takes to hold on to your self-esteem.

If they’re trying to control your relationships, know that your true friends won’t desert you. And those who turn against you were never your friends in the first place.

5. Signs of a Catty Woman:

She Wants to Compete with You

Wanting to outdo you in something is a sure sign that your girl is catty as hell. These types of females wish to beat you at attracting male attention. Also, they try to compete with you for income.

This competition comes from insecurity. So, if she isn’t better than you somehow, someway, she lets it define her worth as a woman.

Therefore, don’t hate her. Pity her.

6. Shunning You

Shunning is another sign of cattiness. The reason these females exclude you is to feel like they are better than you.

Moreover, they do it to undermine your self-esteem. Shunning is covert, so you can’t confront someone for it. However, you do have the power to shun them, too. Two can play that game.

Mirror their behavior and keep them out of your life.

7. Relational Aggression

We touched on this in section four. Here, we go deeper. Relational aggression is when bullies try to control your relationships. They also try to prevent you from making new friends. And they do this by “warning” others before they’ve had a chance to get to know you.

The tactics they use to attack your relationships are spreading lies and rumors. They may also launch smear campaigns. Moreover, don’t put it past them to sow discord between you and your existing friends and loved ones.

If this happens to you, remember what I mentioned earlier. If these vicious females succeed in turning your friends against you, your friends only show you who they are.

They were never your friends to begin with. Why? Because real friends will stick with you, no matter what. In fact, they will go to bat for you. They will tell your bullies to go to hell.

8. Signs of a Catty Woman:

Sabotaging Your Work or School Work

If you are successful at your job or at school, these girls will try to sabotage you. If you’re a straight-A student, they may find your completed homework when you go to the bathroom. And they’ll throw it away shortly before the time to turn it in.

Then, when the teacher calls for it, and you can’t find it, the teacher will assume that you were too lazy to complete your homework.

If you perform exceptionally on the job, they may go through your desk. Then they’ll find important papers and take them. Therefore, they will make it harder for you to do your job.

9. Trying to Break Up Your Relationship or Marriage

Catty women will even try to destroy your personal life. They may even target your home and family life. If they try to break up your marriage, understand that it’s not that they’re in love with your husband.

No. This is about power. If the girl can destroy the most intimate parts of your life, she can take things you value most. And she can target the people you love most.

For some human predators, it isn’t enough to destroy you at work or school. The ultimate power for them is to reach into your home and do damage.

10. Signs of a Catty Woman:

Bragging on Themselves

This sign is one of the most common. Remember that catty women are insecure. They don’t like themselves very much.

Therefore, they will often brag on themselves, revealing only the best parts of their lives. They may talk up their marriages. Or, they may brag about their cushy jobs and high income.

In fact, they may even make up positive things about their lives to impress others. But understand this. If they must brag, they can’t be about much.

Why? Because confidence is quiet. And success is loud. If they are truly successful, they won’t need to brag. Their achievements will speak for themselves.

11. Jealousy

This is the number one sign of a female hater. Catty women are the biggest haters. If you have life better than them, professional or private, these women will hate on you.

They will do their best to even the score. And they may do it by badmouthing you to others to turn them against you. Or they may undermine your confidence by insults and name-calling.

Whatever tactics they use, understand that they do it to tear you down. Therefore, have nothing more to do with them. They’re bad for your mental health!

12. Signs of a Catty Woman:

Spite and Maliciousness

Toxic women are spiteful. They will often undermine you behind a veneer of concern. For example, they may say, “Wow. She seems mentally imbalanced. I hope she gets the help she needs before it’s too late. I’m really concerned about her mental well-being.”

This sounds innocent enough. Right? However, it’s the intentions behind this statement that make it so vicious. In sounding like a caring friend, this woman can softly and tenderly rip you to shreds.

At the same time, she can cover her own hatred in the eyes of others.

13. Snotty Attitude

Catty women tend to be arrogant. However, this holier-than-thou attitude is often a cover for low self-esteem.

Moreover, this behavior only repels healthy people. And, they only attract those who are toxic just like they are.  Therefore, they continue to surround themselves with negativity and wonder why they’re so unhappy.

In conclusion

Catty women are vicious, and, most of all, vindictive. They can destroy lives. These females even bully men.

Therefore, if you see any of these signs in a woman, my advice is to steer clear. You don’t want to allow these types to suck you into their drama because they will eat you alive.

The only way to protect yourself from them is to notice their behavior and distance yourself from them. Also, you must know your worth.

And if toxic women try to undermine you in any way, tell them what you think of them and walk away. Your mental health will thank you for it later.

I promise you!

This post was all about the signs of a catty woman so that you’ll be able to spot them and avoid them to protect yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Catty Women: 5 Powerful Ways to Deal with Their Bullying

2. A woman who Knows Her Worth: 7 Things She’ll Never Settle for

3. Female Bullies: 7 Reasons They Bully Other Women and Girls

4.  Female-on-Male Bullying: A Catch-22 No One Talks About

5. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing

people-reading skills

People-Reading: 3 Reasons It Protects You from Bullying

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a ‘Want to know about people-reading and why it can protect you from bullying? Here’s everything you need to know.

people-reading

People-reading is an essential skill to ensure your safety. If you don’t have the skills to analyze others, you may not realize when someone is out to harm you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the importance of people-reading so that you can weed out those who are evil and let in others who are good for you.

Once you learn all about this vital skill, you will be able to avoid toxic people and stay safe.

This post is all about people-reading, so that you will know why it is so important.

People-Reading

In life, we must always observe the goings-on around us. That means watching those around you and, most of all, being good at people-watching.

You cannot afford to walk around blindly. It would be best to watch people for a while before connecting with them. This isn’t cowardly. It’s smart.

‘Not saying you should stare a hole through anyone. Little micro-glances and using your peripheral vision are enough. Moreover, it will tell you a lot about the kinds of personalities that surround you.

Also, listen carefully to everything and every word spoken around you. Most of all, listen to your gut instinct. Pay attention to the vibes others put out because energy never lies. Neither does your body. You always feel bad vibes in your body.

Just pay attention, period. You’ll be surprised at how quickly and easily you pick out the bullies in an environment.

4 Red Flags to Watch For

People-reading is the practice of observing how others carry themselves. Notice their facial expressions, the way they dress, their eyes, everything. Listen to their tone and how they speak. Pay attention to their posture.

Do this for about a month before attempting to get friendly, and you’ll know who to avoid. As a reminder, here are some red flags to watch out for.

Each thing you notice will give you clues as to the kinds of people who surround you. Here are red flags to look for.

1. People-Reading:

Do they gossip?

You’ll know a gossiper within five minutes when you observe one and overhear them talk. If you hear them talk about someone else, you can be sure they will talk about you, too.

Just give them time. Therefore, it’s best to avoid those who talk about others behind their backs. They don’t make good friends.

With these types, familiarity always breeds contempt. Again, stay away.

2. Are they nosey?

These creeps will ask you many questions, and they’re not shy about asking personal ones. Understand that they’re not interested in you or your life.

They’re only trying to get juicy information to spread about you later. So, don’t walk, run!

3. Are they aggressive?

Don’t have anything to do with these types, especially! Because you’re likely to get hurt if you fall on their bad side. Why even take the chance? It isn’t worth it.

4. People-Reading:

Are they clingy?

Trust me. You want nothing to do with these types, either. Why? Because they can be so annoying. Ewww! I realize that it’s what some people do when they’ve endured bullying and abuse.

And my heart goes out to them. However, you must look out for yourself and put yourself first. It’s not that you don’t want to be friends with this person. Moreover, it’s not that you mean to hurt their feelings.

But there’s a problem when a person wants to be right up under you all the time and doesn’t give you a little space to breathe.

Being observant of those around you can help you avoid dangerous people. In that, you also avoid uncomfortable situations.

Some might notice your distancing and say that you’re too quiet or antisocial. But in saying so, before they get to know you, they only reveal themselves as possible gossips and troublemakers. So, all the better for you.

Having been a victim of bullying can give you the gift of sight.

No. I don’t mean clairvoyant. You may not be able to see into the future. But you can predict others’ behavior by watching their body language.

Here’s how this works. Once you are targeted long enough, you grow wise about people. Therefore, you learn to predict the petty moves of bullies and unsavory characters.

You will know what each person will say. Survivors of bullying learn to see the actions and nonverbal cues of others.

And they can hear the words of those around them and know what’s coming next. Veteran targets and survivors of bullying develop an uncanny ability to read people.

It’s a gift they have developed within themselves over years or decades of being targeted.

People-Reading is a survival skill.

Survivors of bullying can see through the smoke screens people try to hide behind. They also excel at recognizing signs of impending danger.

Many have this talent without realizing it. And why not? They have to have it to survive.

They may not come out and say it or admit it, but some learn to read people like books. Those with a history of victimhood can feel others’ mental states, moods, and intentions. Moreover, they sense, with remarkable accuracy, the vibes others put out.

AT first, victims of bullying may doubt themselves.

At first, they may not listen to their intuitions. This will be what gets them into trouble. Because bullies have abused them, these targets often lose trust in themselves.

Additionally, they may lose confidence in their feelings and senses. And they may ignore those God-given instincts.

However, they quickly learn not to dismiss their gut feeling as paranoia. They soon begin paying attention to and heeding them. Why? Because chances are that they’re right.

When you suffer bullying, now is not the time to doubt yourself. Use your predictions to your advantage. This is how you cut off any coming attacks.

People-reading:

Victims of Bullying may also learn how to thrive socially.

They will learn social graces by watching others. This is another area where learning people-reading skills benefits you.

Close to ninety percent of our language is nonverbal. In other words, actions speak louder than words ever will.

All too often, when bullies have attacked you for an extended period, your self-esteem and mental health suffer. Even worse, others will see it through your everyday body language, and you won’t realize it’s happening.

Consequently, most targets attract more abuse. Why? Because their body language changes with time as they endure daily abuse.

The target’s body language will transform from confident to diffident, meaning a lack of confidence. This is the reason most victims of bullying have few friends.

Why do most targets of bullying have difficulty making friends?

This is because others can spot insecurity a mile away. This is what makes it challenging to attract healthy people into your life.

You’ll only attract users and more abusers. Why? It’s human nature for healthy people to avoid those who give off signals of low self-esteem.

On the other hand, you’ll attract predators. In other words, you’ll draw people who fake a friendship to either exert control over you or to get something from you.

Moreover, nonverbal signals, such as avoiding eye contact, looking down, fake smiles, and closed body language, can make you appear unapproachable.

People-Reading:

It’s not your fault.

Naturally, this is not your fault. It is just something that happens after a person has endured abuse for so long.

However, confident body language is something that you can learn. You can even teach yourself and practice confidence.

And once you perfect it, you will instantly attract faithful friends and better people into your life. Here are powerful tricks you can use to win friends instantly.

Here’s how to use your people-reading skills to imitate those who are confident and well-liked.

When you learn to read others, you will also be able to use those skills to make yourself bully-proof. Moreover, you will use those skills to make yourself more approachable.

And you will instantly give yourself more social appeal. Learning to read others also means watching your own nonverbal cues.

1. Smile! And smile genuinely!

Smiling at others shows that you approve of them and are open to friendships. It also conveys confidence, and confidence is where it’s at!

However, a fake smile is easy to spot and a major turn-off. It only repels people, or worse, invites more abuse. Fake smiles hurt more than help.

People-reading is great. However, you must also watch your own body language.

2. Make good eye contact.

When you make good eye contact, you show others that you are genuinely interested in them. Moreover, it conveys respect.

Human beings love those who take an interest in them. Therefore, when you’re engaged in conversation with someone, look them in the eye.

Just don’t overdo it, or you’ll seem creepy. Just find that happy middle.

3. People-Reading:

Stand up straight.

Confident and outgoing people always have great posture. They stand up straight and hold their shoulders back.

On the other hand, slouching and hunching convey insecurity and low self-esteem. So, stand up straight and walk with purpose.

Also, throw in a few power poses when you stand. Keep your feet shoulder-width apart, and your hands on your hips. Your thumbs should be on the front of your waist.

These stances signal confidence. It can also keep bullies away. When a bully sees someone do this, they think twice before messing with them.

Why? Because their body language is signaling confidence and, more importantly, power! And if there’s one thing bullies understand, it is power.

4. Practice open body language.

This will instantly make you more approachable. Put simply, open body language means facing the person you’re talking to and keeping your whole body turned toward them.

When you do this, you’re signaling that you’re interested in what the other person has to say.

5. People-Reading:

Slightly lean in when you talk to someone.

Again, this shows that you are fully engaged and interested in what the other person is saying. However, only do it slightly to avoid invading your interlocutor’s personal space.

Make sure to do this properly, and you will build rapport with those you speak to. Also, they will be more likely to trust you.

6. Nod when you agree with the person you’re talking to.

Nodding not only shows that you are listening and fully engaged. Also, it conveys understanding and agreement.

Nodding is a potent form of communication and often gets excellent social results!

7. Use hand gestures when you speak.

Using hand gestures can help you to think and express your thoughts and feelings more clearly. Moreover, it conveys understanding, energy, and warmth.

8. People-Reading:

Relax.

If you want others to feel at ease around you, relax when you’re having a conversation with them. There is nothing worse than talking to someone who seems nervous and tense.

It weirds others out big time! Therefore, always relax around others. Relaxed body language conveys that you’re comfortable and confident in yourself.

In turn, others will be comfortable and confident with you.

9. Put away your phone.

There is nothing worse than talking to someone who has their face in their phone, texting. It conveys that they’re more interested in what’s on their screen and not what you have to say.

It is downright rude and disrespectful. So, lose the phone when you’re in conversation with someone. It’s just good social etiquette.

10. Be aware of where your toes are pointed.

If you’re in a conversation with someone, make sure your toes are pointed toward them. If your feet are pointed away, it only suggests that you want to go elsewhere. In other words, you don’t want to be with the person.

Now, some don’t think about the feet, but those who are the most aware of nonverbal cues will. Therefore, always stand with your feet and toes pointed toward the person you’re talking to.

It signals that you want to move toward them, that you’re happy to speak with them.

11. People-Reading:

Make sure your body language is congruent with your words.

This is so important! If you’re saying one thing and your nonverbal communication doesn’t match, you will come off to others as insincere.

As a result, they won’t take you seriously. Nobody likes fake. So, more than anything else, be sure that your nonverbal cues are in line with your verbal ones.

12. Practice the art of small talk.

What is small talk? Simple! Talking about everyday topics. When you discuss the weather, which team won the Super Bowl, your favorite rock bands, or current news, this is small talk.

In other words, never talk to potential friends about anything deep. Save that for later… much later!

If you’re looking to make new friends, keep conversations light until the friendship has grown significantly.

13. People-Reading:

Establish common ground.

Friendships come much more easily with those with whom we have something in common. Find those with whom you have something in common, such as other targets of bullying.

Band with them. I guarantee that this works like a charm if you want to make friends.

When you begin practicing these techniques, they may feel weird at first. However, don’t quit. Practice good verbal and nonverbal communication every day until it becomes second nature.

Also, remember that others pay more attention to your body language than your words. So, improve them both.

Then, watch the magic unfold as people instantly become warmer and more receptive toward you. You will make terrific friends in the process.

3 Reasons People-Reading Protects you from bullies

1. You can better predict the other person’s behavior.

2. It reveals unspoken emotions, telling you more than words ever will.

3. It enhances your personal relationships and helps you to make friends.

In conclusion

Reading people’s cues is essential if you want to avoid toxic people. For more information, you can read about nonverbal bullying here. Moreover, just as you are watching them, others are also watching you.

Therefore, you must also watch your own nonverbal cues to ward off predators. People-reading is one of the most important skills you can have.

This post is all about people-reading so that you can use it to NOT ONLY WATCH OTHERS AND FIGURE OUT THEIR INTENTIONS, BUT ALSO watch your own so that you won’t attract human predators.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Confident Body Language: 11 Ways to Look Confident

2. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

3. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

4. Fake Friend: 11 Easy Ways to Spot One with Bad Intentions

5. Threatening Body Language: 21 Hostile Cues to Never Ignore

6. Hostile Body Language: 17 Signs Bullies Want to Get Physical

you'll see it when you believe it meaning

You’ll See It When You Believe It

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“You’ll see it when you believe it.” What does it mean? It’s the opposite of “I’ll believe it when I see it.” It’s about being positive even in the face of adversity. Though difficult, you must learn to think positively. You will be surprised at the results.

you'll see it when you believe it

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I’ve always heard people make the statement, “I’ll believe it when I see it.”The problem is that our attitudes shape our perspectives. Therefore, our perspectives shape what we see.

Put another way, our perspectives can blind us to a lot of things, even when they’re right in front of our faces. Because if you have the mindset that you’ll believe it when you see it, the chances are you never will.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why you’ll see it when you believe it, and why it’s essential to work on your mindset if you’re being bullied or facing any other type of adversity.

Once you learn this critical life lesson, you will be compelled to do the work to change your mindset and improve your life.

This post will give you all the reasons you’ll see it when you believe it, so that you will change your attitude and perhaps change a few of your outcomes, too.

You’ll See It When You Believe It

Many victims are bullied just as innocent people are convicted of crimes they didn’t commit. On the flip side, many bullies and criminals are promoted to high positions. It’s because of others’ attitudes!

We often base our judgments of others on our attitudes towards them. We judge them by what we’ve heard about them and whether we like them.

Many times, we judge others too harshly because we can’t see past our dislike or hatred of them. However, we also do this with our own lives.

If we’ve had a string of adversity throughout our lives, we usually come to expect more of the same. And sadly, we end up getting that!

We come to see ourselves as unlucky, undesirable, unlovable, and incapable of success. As a result of our thinking, we face increasing adversity.

It’s all about mindset.

Attitudes and perspectives about our lives will blind us to opportunities- opportunities that are right in front of us.

Sadly, these are opportunities we miss, while others see and seize them. Then, we’ve missed out once again, and thus, the cycle begins again.

Case in point: our attitudes and perspectives shape and influence our lives. They influence what happens in them and where they take us. Moreover, they attract people and events.

This is why you must do the inner work to change your thought patterns. In other words, you must check your attitude and work to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.

The only way you will have a positive life is to have a positive attitude. Then you will have a positive perspective, which can only develop by having positive thoughts.

I know it’s hard to do when it seems that adversity is coming at you from every possible direction. Believe me, I understand because I’ve been there.

It won’t be easy, and it won’t happen overnight. But I promise you this. If you start now by catching each negative thought and replacing it with a positive idea, you’ll be surprised at how much better your life will get!

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Oh! But “What if it does?”

It worked for me, and it’ll work for you too!

You’ll See It When You Believe It:

Let’s talk about the negative self-fulfilling prophesy.

After bullies and others have put you down and degraded you for so long, serious changes in your thought patterns begin happening. You begin having symptoms that should warn you that you’re on your way to having a “bullied brain.”

Also, it’s the same with any other form of adversity, whether it be accidents, illnesses, or just plain old bad luck.

1. If You’re Bullied, You start to wonder if they’re right about you.

Moreover, you wonder if they were all along and that you just didn’t see it. If you aren’t careful, bullies will tell you lies about yourself so often, for so long, that you’ll begin to believe it too.

Why? Because a huge piece of your self-esteem has broken off. Therefore, your brain is rewiring itself to accept what these creeps tell you as gospel.

You may think to yourself, “Well, everyone else thinks I’m no good, maybe they’re right. Because if there is any good in me, why would so many people tell me differently?”

Never let your bullies get into your head. They may turn everyone else against you, but you don’t have to let them turn you against yourself.

You are good enough, and you matter. Never allow others to define who you are.

2. You’ll See It When You Believe It:

You begin to get awkward and clumsy.

If you start believing you have nothing but bad luck, you will soon begin to live up to it. The same will happen if you allow bullying to define you.

Your brain will begin preparing itself for a hostile environment. And your mind and body will enter survival mode.

Your decision-making skills will take a big hit. Therefore, you’ll start fumbling and screwing up constantly. And, the harder you try not to make mistakes, the more of them you will make.

3. You have a bad attitude about life.

You then begin to lose faith. Moreover, you have thoughts such as:

  • All humans are mean-spirited, greedy, and selfish pieces of sh**.
  • The world is a crappy place.
  • I’ll never amount to anything.
  • Life sucks.

4. Adverse things will happen in your life.

Your grades drop, your performance starts to wane, and you lose out on awards, achievements, and opportunities. It will seem that nothing ever works out for you.

Like attracts like; bad things tend to draw even more bad things. However, your attitude can make all the difference.

5. You’ll See It When You Believe It:

Your relationships will suffer.

The people in your life don’t understand what is happening to you. Therefore, they begin to question you. Some may accuse you of having a bad attitude.

Also, some may accuse you of being stubborn or defiant when you’re really shutting down. Therefore, they become disappointed in you and eventually stop believing in you.

And you may complain constantly. No one likes to hear whining, even if you have justification for it.

6. Goals that were once easy to achieve will become difficult.

Schoolwork or work projects that were once easy for you suddenly become difficult. This is because you’re in survival mode.

In other words, you’re too busy looking over your shoulder and trying to survive bullying to learn anything or concentrate on work projects.

After all, your brain can only do so much at once. Again, you learn and concentrate on work using your logical brain. Therefore, when the survival part of your brain turns on, the part involved in learning and concentration shuts down.

7. learned helplessness.

You may grow tired of trying. Everyone else has convinced you that you’re doomed to fail and live in misery. Therefore, you unintentionally live up to their expectations.

Do you see where I’m going with this? It’s only the Law of Attraction at work. It starts with negative thought patterns. Like attracts like. What you think about, even on a subconscious level, always comes about.

However, know that it isn’t your fault. So, don’t blame yourself.

You’ll See It When You Believe It:

You must take responsibility for your own well-being!

Every day, you hear the same vitriol and get the same abuse over and over. Again. Repetition, repetition, repetition. However, this doesn’t relieve you of your responsibility to yourself.

You must train your brain to re-frame everything. Moreover, you must train your brain to see through others’ behavior and see the intentions behind it.

Otherwise, you’ll only start believing the crap that your bullies feed you. Then, you’ll to live up to it. Moreover, you’ll have a hard time controlling it or stopping it from happening.

Your bullies are trying to condition you.

Why are they so hell-bent on making you believe their lies?

  • Because they want to brainwash you.
  • What they want is to break your spirit.
  • Their end goal is to bring you so low that you never recover.
  • If they can do the above three, then you’re likely to prove them right.
  • Know that it’s all an attempt to reprogram you, and in a vast majority of cases, it works!

Self-fulfilling prophesies are real, and they can destroy your life. Therefore, don’t let bullies cause you to have a losing, self-defeating, and bitter attitude.

Put plainer, bullies mean to get you to believe that you are, in fact, worthless. Moreover, they want to force you to agree with it and that you deserve the mistreatment. Why?

Because if they can get you to believe it too, then you’re more likely to submit to their abuse without protest. Moreover, if they can get you to think you deserve it, then you’re least likely to fight back.

Why else would they try to drum such garbage into your head a million and one times a day?

You’ll See It When You Believe It:

Bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Understand that bullying, because of its repetitiveness and brutality, is a form of brainwashing. In other words, it is designed to condition you to believe that you’re no good and will never amount to anything.

Being stuck in a bullying environment is akin to being stuck in a communist re-education camp. It’s just as mind-altering as it is damaging.

This is because bullies spoon-feed you their bullshit repeatedly until your mind absorbs it. Therefore, you end up believing it.

They physically and emotionally beat you down. Next, they gaslight you and convince you that you deserve it.

They gaslight you. They blame you for their bad behavior when the truth is that you have no control over it. Setting boundaries is the best thing you can do. It’s as easy as putting your hand up and saying, “Bye, (bully’s name),” then walking away.

You’re Not Responsible for their behavior!

You can’t control anyone else’s behavior. Only they have control over their actions. The only person’s behavior you can control is your own. Always remember that!

Start training your brain to resist gaslighting. Do not internalize anything they throw at you. Why? Because these things listed below can happen if you aren’t careful.

  • You’ll stop believing in yourself.
  • You’ll have a condition known as “Learned Helplessness.”
  • Your grades will plummet, and your performance will suffer.
  • You’ll attract all kinds of bad fortune into your life.
  • You’ll want so badly to get out of the bad environment and situation you’re in that you’ll begin making poor decisions and life choices out of desperation- choices that may alter the entire course of your life.
  • You may drop out of school to get away from your bullies. I almost did.
  • You may quit your job before you have time to find other employment.
  • You may join a gang or extremist group to feel like you belong and to have friends.
  • You may use drugs to fit in or to dull the pain.

And what’s really sad is that you won’t even realize it’s happening until you’re already too far down the rabbit hole. That is, if you ever realize it.

The best way is to stop caring what they think.

You’ll See It When You Believe It:

The right attitude is key.

Confidence, self-love, and a positive attitude will bring good things into your life. It may take a while, but be patient! It will happen!

This is not to say that bad things won’t sometimes happen; they do. Sometimes things happen that we have no control over. And it happens to all of us.

However, with a positive attitude, your life won’t be one huge string of bad luck. You will have more victories than losses.

Again, attitude attracts things into your life, like attracts like. How I wish I had known this when I was young.

Finding That Healthy Balance Between Positive and Negative Experiences

Everyone has both positive and negative experiences with others. This can affect confidence and self-esteem. The trick is to keep the positive either equal to or higher than the negative.

When you feel hopeless and pushed to the breaking point, it means you’ve had too many negative experiences. Any positive experience you’ve had in the past feels irrelevant.

You’ll See It When You Believe It:

Think of confidence and self-esteem as a bank account.

If others bully you nonstop for long enough, it will quickly deplete your positive account. This is why you must continue to “deposit money” into your bank account every day. You do this by giving yourself words of encouragement and love.

You can also build confidence by reading books that teach confidence-building techniques. Another way to build your self-esteem is to keep company with those who uplift you.

Positive words, actions, and experiences must equal, or better yet, outweigh the negative you receive from bullies. Only then will you restore your self-esteem and regain your confidence. And once confidence is restored, you’ll be better able to combat bullies and stop being a victim.

Although talking about the abuse and getting it out helps with healing, it only does so much. The best way to maintain your self-esteem and confidence is to create more positive experiences than negative ones.

Build friendships outside the bullying environment. Create lasting memories. That is the best kind of therapy. And, most importantly, think positively. Add self-care to the equation, and you have a surefire way to restore your confidence.

The purpose of this post was to remind you that you’ll see it when you believe it. Think positive and maintain a positive attitude, and things will change for the better.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Benefits of Positive Thinking: 6 Positive Changes You’ll See

2. The Bullied Brain: 7 Ways Bullying Affects Mental Health

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4. Asserting Boundaries: The Pros Outweigh the Cons

5. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Easy Ways

the best revenge against bullies reddit

The Best Revenge Against Bullies: What is It?

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‘Want to know the best revenge against bullies? Here’s the one thing that will hurt them more than anything you could ever do.

the best revenge against bullies

The best revenge against bullies isn’t about retaliation. It isn’t about getting payback. So, what is it? In this post, you will learn the best way to come out on top.

Once you learn what the best revenge against bullies really is, you will be more compelled to rise above your bullies the right way.

This post is all about what the best revenge against bullies really is, so you can do what you need to do to take care of yourself and live a peaceful life.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies

Let’s get into it. What is the best revenge against bullies? There are three ways to win against your bullies. Here they are.

1. Living a Peaceful Life

As the old saying goes, “living well is the best revenge.” And it’s one of the most factual statements you’ll ever hear or read.

When you live a peaceful and drama-free life, people, especially bullies, will despise that. Why? Because they want you miserable like they are. Therefore, they will do something to disrupt it.

The best way to avoid this and keep tranquility in your life is to avoid toxic people. This is the best way to prevent disruptive individuals from disrupting your peace.

2. Success.

Yes! You read this correctly! Success is, by far, the best revenge you can ever take against your bullies. Why? There are several reasons!

Most bullies believe that they are superior to you. Any time you make an achievement, they will see it as a threat to their power. Then, they will increase their attacks against you.

And they will do it not only to punish you, but also to keep you in your place. Therefore, it isn’t always safe to share your accomplishments.

Moreover, your bullies might convince others that you are bragging. In cases like this, please allow someone else to announce your success rather than doing so yourself.

And, again, sometimes it’s better to keep it quiet.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Not everyone wants you to succeed.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. And this includes some of your closest friends.

Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own personal failures. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior to reach success and overshadow them.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win. And when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

It’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! In other words, you force them into the shadows while you get to shine. You get to be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight! Understand that bullies crave attention and adoration most. And when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

IF you score a win, your bullies will make you pay for it.

Naturally, they will retaliate by launching all sorts of attacks against you. Your bullies will make all sorts of accusations. They may throw shade by bringing up your past mistakes.

You must see through their behavior. They only do it because their power has been threatened. And when your accomplishments drive them into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

Therefore, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities. So, how do you handle this?

You handle it by staying above it. Refuse to react to the bullies’ foolishness. Instead, continue enjoying your wins and successes and let them stew in their own juices.

Let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire. Watch with a smile as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!

Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

If you haven’t made any accomplishments yet, work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from anyone.

And the fewer roadblocks you will run into along the way. And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it, and with it, give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

1. It’s a type of revenge in which you don’t have to resort to being petty nor violent.

In achieving success, there’s no need to say a word or lift a finger against the bullies. In this, you can silently exact revenge without reducing yourself to the bullies’ level.

As a result, you don’t look petty in the eyes of others!

2. The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Envy and jealousy are natural human tendencies.

It’s a fact that most people hate to see others succeed and reach their goals and dreams. And secretly, bullies take pleasure in watching others, especially you, suffer.

However, when you become happy and prosperous, it takes the wind out of the bullies’ sails. It only disappoints, frustrates, or even angers them. All while you continue to smile, shine, and move on to even bigger things!

Therefore, if you’re a victim of bullying, any successes you achieve will automatically incite jealousy.

3. If you’re lucky, you get to watch your bullies seethe as you collect your accolades.

And hey! Let’s be real here! There’s nothing more satisfying than watching your bullies squirm with jealousy and rage as you get recognition for your accomplishments!

And if you want, you can covertly eat your bullies alive by looking at them with a taunting smile!

So, find something you enjoy doing – something you are good at! Practice and perfect any talents and gifts you’ve been blessed with. Then display those talents before the world!

Your self-esteem will skyrocket. And you never know where it may take you!

4. The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

You prove them wrong

Bullies despise it when you show them up. When you prove a bully wrong, you show everyone else that they aren’t so perfect.

This undermines their image. Therefore, they’ll try to get back at you to repair it.

5. You outshine them

Upstage a bully, and you’ll get tons of flak for it. To your bullies, you are inferior, and they want you to stay that way.

If you make a significant accomplishment, this makes your bullies look less important. You naturally overshadow anything they’ve accomplished. And they’ll do everything possible to try to reduce you to a place of inferiority.

Bullies Hate Competition

Bullies hate competition. And they despise it, especially when it’s you they must compete with. If someone they deem inferior outmatches them in any competition. Oooo! Talk about a blow to the bully’s ego. Ouch!

They see your accomplishments as a threat to their superiority. Why? Because the bullies’ sense of self-worth is rooted in one-upmanship.

Therefore, they will get angry and say things like:

  • “You think you’re better than us!”
  • “You think you’re hot stuff!”
  • “You think you’re so f***ing cool, don’t you?”

I’ve come to realize that any time a bully makes any statement that begins with, “You think you’re…,” it usually means jealousy. And it means anger, or resentment aimed at you for a success or desirable quality that you have. Always!

Understand that those three little words can say so much.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

They despise your confidence.

Bullies despise any confidence you have. Why? Because when you’re confident, you believe in yourself. Therefore, you don’t let others define who you are.

Confidence is your first line of defense against bullying. It naturally buffers your self-esteem for personal attacks.

When you have confidence, you’re likely to tell your bullies where to stick it. Again, that’s a huge threat to their power. They may try to push you around one time. But it will be the only time they do it.

It pays to love yourself even when it seems others don’t.

Let Bullies be Your Jet Fuel to Unimaginable Heights

Instead of letting them bring you down, use your bullies as motivation to succeed. Let them be your drive to accomplish anything you see set to do.

Walk with your head held high, even amid taunts and attacks from bullies. Believe in yourself even when it seems no one else does. Be your own advocate, and be your own best friend.

Love and respect yourself. Do the things you enjoy the most. Stand up for your beliefs and convictions. Take care of yourself and stay true to your own heart.

Put yourself first. Be a little selfish and allow yourself to say no, whether anyone approves or not. Be your authentic self and be assertive and outspoken.

Keep company only with people who love you most and uplift you. Take charge of your own happiness and never depend on anyone else for it. Be proud of your successes, accomplishments, and accolades.

Do all of these things, and your bullies will be less likely to affect you.

The Best Revenge Against Bullies:

Using Bullying as a Motivator for Success and Happiness

I want to tell you that being the object of bullying does not mean that you’re a failure. It does not mean that you must give up.

Remember that bullies are not only cowards, they’re also liars. They only want to convince you that you are nothing.

And they want you to believe that because they are very much afraid that you WILL amount to something. So why not use them as motivation?

Here are ways that you can survive bullying and keep your self-esteem from tanking:

  • Practice and display any talents that you have.
  • Spend time with those you love and who love you the most.
  • Take care of yourself.
  • If a great opportunity comes your way, TAKE IT!
  • Do the things you enjoy the most.
  • Smile.

If you are a victim of bullying, there’s no better time to do whatever it takes to stay confident! Don’t let bullying devastate you; allow it to motivate you.

When they hate you, love yourself anyway. That’s how you get revenge. And you do it without even trying.

This post was all about the best revenge against bullies so that you can release any grudges and shift your focus from them to yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Revenge on Bullies? Here are 17 Better Alternatives. 

2. Things Bullies Hate: 9 Things That Drive Them Up the Wall

3. What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

4. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

5. How to Love Yourself when Everyone Hates You

people pleaser trauma response psychology

People Pleaser Trauma Response: 5 Adverse Events that Cause It.

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‘Want to know about the people pleaser trauma response? People pleasing is mostly a trauma response. Here are five adverse life events that can lead to fawning, along with ways to break this self-sabotaging habit.

people pleaser trauma response

In this post, you will learn all about the people pleaser trauma response and the five adverse events that cause it.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be able to not only recognize it in yourself if it’s something you struggle with, but you will also be able to narrow down where it came from.

This post is all about the people pleaser trauma response so that you can recognize it, know what causes it, and identify all the signs of it.

People Pleaser Trauma Response

People-pleasing caused by trauma is real. Why? Because people-pleasing behavior, in general, is usually caused by some past trauma.

Let’s find out why some folks people-please.

Psychological Conditioning

Another name for people-pleasing is fawning.

As I’ve mentioned in other posts, many victims of past bullying and abuse struggle with people-pleasing. Abusers have instilled the belief that, to win approval, you must bend over backwards for others. You must even tolerate shitty treatment from creeps.

So, they obey others’ demands because bullies have brainwashed them. And, not so much by words, but by their actions.

How? By retaliating and inflicting harm anytime the victim grew a spine and refused their demands. By doing this, bullies send the message that the next time you refuse to submit, they will punish you.

Moreover, they will often hurt you for daring to say “no!” Therefore, you fear asserting yourself.  And you quickly adapt to having to cater to others to ensure your safety. Sadly, some victims linger on in the same situation for years on end.

It’s a hell of a way to live, and it’s akin to being held hostage. You feel as if you exist only for others’ purposes, agendas, pleasures, and entertainment, not your own.

People Pleaser Trauma Response:

Bullies don’t take no for an answer.

Bullies have a massive sense of entitlement. Moreover, they feel that they are superior to you. Therefore, they don’t take no for an answer, especially from a little peon like you.

They punish anyone who refuses their demands. And that punishment can be psychological or even physical. However, this doesn’t mean that you don’t continue to stand firm.

It’s better for others to hate you than for you to hate yourself because you caved into someone else’s demands. Realize that no one can make your time and your needs a priority but you!

The Difference Between Kindness and People-pleasing

Kindness means that you give of yourself because you want to. Those who are kind have healthy self-esteem and give out of love. However, they never give at their own expense.

However, a people-pleaser has low self-esteem. Their giving and generosity come from fear instead of love. They give because they feel no one will like them if they don’t. Or, they do it because they may suffer consequences if they don’t.

So, what are the disadvantages of people-pleasing behavior?

People Pleaser Trauma Response:

the disadvantages of People-pleasing

  • You end up feeling stressed, exhausted, miserable, and controlled!
  • You’re never free to pursue your own interests because people are constantly haranguing you for favors.
  • You have no time for yourself.
  • Your productivity declines because other people’s priorities constrain your time.
  • Others lose respect for you.
  • It erodes your confidence and self-esteem.
  • You feel anger and resentment, not only at the people who constantly use you, but toward yourself for allowing them to.

 If nothing else, realize this. Most people have their own self-interests in mind. I want you to understand that you are the only person responsible for your needs. No one else can do that for you.

Charity always begins at home. Don’t run yourself ragged trying to take care of others. You must take care of yourself first.

Now, let’s learn the signs of people-pleasing you may see in yourself.

People Pleaser Trauma Response:

Signs You’re a People Pleaser

First, what is a people-pleaser? It is someone who always puts others before themselves. In other words, they put themselves last.

Many, especially targets of bullying, will have an overwhelming urge to people-please. This is not to say that they’re bad for doing it. However, it is unhealthy because what you are doing is not only counterproductive but also self-destructive.

To know the signs, you must distinguish between kindness and people-pleasing. Again, those who are kind give of themselves out of love. Their giving comes from the heart, not self-esteem issues or fear.

So, how do you know you’re a people-pleaser?

  • The fear of retaliation.
  • The desire to be liked and win friends.
  • To prove your worth.
  • To avoid conflict.
  • From insecurity.
  • You have low self-esteem.
  • Feeling like no one appreciates you.
  • Secretly having anger and resentment toward those who use and abuse you.
  • Being angry at yourself for allowing it.
  • Others may call you a “simp.”

5 Adverse Events that Cause People-Pleasing Behavior

1. Bullying or Past Bullying.

Bullying, whether at school or work, is traumatic. If you aren’t careful, it won’t take long, and before you know it, you’ll be walking on eggshells around everyone. And that’s what causes people-pleasing behavior.

In this situation, you aren’t trying to get others to like you. You’re trying to keep them off your back. Therefore, you fawn to keep them happy. But it only produces the opposite results. Others who are evil will notice it and only exploit it.

2. People pleaser Trauma Response:

Growing Up with Child Abuse.

Child abuse is another adverse event that causes people-pleaser behavior. Children who live in abusive homes learn quickly that to stay off an abusive family’s radar, they must fawn.

In other words, they must do everything humanly possible to make the abuser happy. Why? Because they know that if they don’t, there will be hell to pay.

They develop survival habits that are normalized. And by the time these kids reach adulthood, they become a way of life.

Sadly, through their people-pleasing behavior, they only attract more abusers. And they end up a victim of bullying for life. Understand that bullies and abusers look for a trauma response. It’s how they select their victims.

3. Spousal Abuse.

Spousal abuse is so potent. Oftentimes, a person who marries an abuser is highly confident at first. However, it doesn’t take long before domestic abuse whittles their self-esteem down to nothing.

Once your self-esteem is gone, you’ll bend yourself into a pretzel to please your abusive partner. And because trying to please them rewards their behavior, they’ll only treat you worse.

4. People Pleaser Trauma Response:

Not Knowing Any Better.

You may genuinely believe that you’re being kind when, in fact, you may be overdoing the pleasantries. And the next thing you know, others are treating you like a doormat, and you don’t understand why.

You may have been raised to treat everyone as you would want to be treated. However, your guardians may not have taught you that some will take advantage of it. Therefore, you people-please without realizing it.

Again, people-pleaser behavior is a sign of trauma. And signs of trauma are what abusers look for in potential victims.

5. Emotional gaslighting.

Bullies and abusers will use emotional gaslighting when you dare to defend yourself. Understand that they do this to drag you back under their power.

Therefore, if you have a habit of people-pleasing and you begin defending yourself because you’ve grown tired of taking bullshit, look for others to gaslight you.

It’s what happens when you first begin standing up for yourself.

Here’s how to get rid of the people pleaser trauma response:

1. Establish boundaries

When you have no boundaries, others will have no respect for you. Pleasers have no boundaries. Therefore, others quickly notice it and exploit it.

Setting boundaries may feel weird at first. However, it is a must if you want to take back control of your life. Why? Because setting boundaries shows that you have self-respect.

It also shows that you’re not afraid to prioritize your needs, even if it makes others angry. Realize that you teach others how to treat you. And how you treat yourself depends on how you allow others to treat you.

I can’t stress this enough: trauma responses attract bullying and abuse.

2. Stop apologizing

From the time we’re toddlers, our parents teach us to apologize when we do something wrong. Although this is a good thing, overdoing it can backfire.

Anytime you make unnecessary apologies, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault. And when you give unsavory characters undeserved apologies, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior.

In the end, it only makes you a bigger target.

But when you refuse to apologize when you don’t need to, you show greater self-esteem. Moreover, you show greater power and display more dignity and integrity. Therefore, you instantly become less of a victim.

So, stop giving needless apologies. Realize that this overwhelming urge to over-apologize is only a knee-jerk reaction to extreme fear. Bullies and abusers can sniff fear from miles away.

3. How to Get Rid of The People Pleaser Trauma Response:

Say no.

The word no yields more power than any other word in the English language. On the other hand, the word yes holds none whatsoever.

Saying no is risky. However, saying yes to bullies won’t keep them from harming you. It may hold them off for the time being, but it won’t keep the bullies away forever. They always come back for more later.

Realize that saying yes to some, especially bullies, means saying no to yourself. So, never be afraid to say no and mean it.

4. Practice self-care

Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential to your physical and mental well-being. Nobody else will do it for you. Therefore, it’s up to you to take care of yourself, even if others disagree.

Understand that if you don’t begin looking out for number one, you’ll only continue playing second fiddle to others. Or worse, you might end up coming in last!

The only one you should come second to is God! Especially around bullies and others who don’t value you.

So, continue to do you. Others may not like it, but that’s their problem, not yours.

5. How to Get rid of the people pleaser trauma Response:

Make your needs a priority

You can’t pour from an empty cup. If you make your needs a priority, you’ll have more to give to others. Always remember that.

Realize that you don’t need to kiss ass, eat shit, and lick boots to prove your worth or ensure your safety. When you tend to people-please, you only bring more bullying and abuse into your life. Why? Because evil characters look for signs of trauma in potential victims

It isn’t your fault. However, you must still learn how to ward off bullies and attract healthy people. Standing up for yourself is how you do it.

This post is all about the people pleaser trauma response so that you can know where it comes from and how to break the bad habits that attract bullying and mistreatment.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Trauma

2. People Pleaser Test: 4 Signs You’re a People-Pleaser

3. Over Apologizing Trauma Response: 9 Easy Ways to Overcome It

4. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying\

5. The Perfect Victim: 9 Traits Bullies Look for in Potential Targets

manipulators quotes

Manipulators: 8 Ways They Manipulate

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Want to know about manipulators and how they operate? Here’s everything you need to know.

manipulatorsManipulators are everywhere, at school, in the workplace, and even in the home. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about manipulators and the tactics they use to get what they want.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to spot them and protect yourself.

This post is all about manipulators so that you can recognize when you’re being taken for a sucker and drop them like they’re hot.

Manipulators

So, why do people resort to manipulation? They do it because they feel powerless inside. They don’t have the guts to come out and ask for what they want.

Moreover, they feel they can’t get their needs met any other way. Therefore, they must resort to indirect means and trickery to get their needs and wants met.

There are many ways people, especially bullies, manipulate. Here are all the tactics they use to get what they want from you.

1. Guilt Trips

Manipulators will make you feel guilty when you don’t let them have their way. And they will continue to violate your boundaries.

If you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. They will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.

Many times when I was young, others tried to constantly manipulate me. They told me that if I didn’t do what they wanted, I wasn’t a good person. Or they would imply that I wasn’t a team player.

They would accuse me of being selfish, stingy, or greedy. The other person would always say things that made me feel rotten.

Manipulators may also attempt to make you feel obligated somehow. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you now owe them.

For example, if a partner asks a girl for sex and she tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet, the partner will then say something to the tune of, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.

Let’s be clear, you don’t owe them anything, especially if it’s a date trying to get in your pants. The same goes if someone is trying to talk you into joining them in doing something illegal.

If something doesn’t feel right and you get the feeling you’re better off not going along, trust your instincts. And say no, then tell them to either beat it or take you home right then!

2. Tactics of Manipulators:

Pretending not to understand

 “I don’t know what you’re talking about!” We have all heard that line many times. Manipulators will claim they don’t understand. However, they know darn well what you’re saying, but don’t want to.

Do not fall for this! Either walk away, or tell the person, “Don’t give me that crap. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Then, walk away.

3. Being friendly only when they expect something in return

Every single one of us has dealt with those types- you know the ones. You never hear from these people.  Moreover, they may even treat you coldly when they see you out and about.

Then, suddenly, magically, out of the blue, they call you up or start being friendly. Next, they ask you for a favor, some help with a problem they are dealing with. Or maybe they need a little cash.

And so, you help the person, and once they’ve gotten what they wanted, it’s back to true blue. They disappear or go back to treating you like trash.

You must see this person for who they are. And this creep is nothing but a user. They’re one of many manipulators who get over on you and many others.

Ditch this person because they will only drain you. You don’t need them in your life.

4. Tactics of Manipulators:

The silent treatment

This is one of the most common tactics manipulators use. And they do it to exploit the natural and extreme human need for social acceptance and community.

Let’s face it. We are all hardwired for social connection. Furthermore, it’s natural to go silent on someone when they’ve done us wrong.

However, the silent treatment can also be abused by manipulators when they don’t get their way, and can be damaging to the target when used against them.

If a bully or anyone else tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do, no law says that you have to do it. And how you protect yourself against this childish behavior is to not care about it. Instead, mirror it back to them.

In other words, when someone gives you the silent treatment, you give it back to them. Always remember that two can play that game!

5. Acting as if an agreement has been made when there’s been no agreement at all

This can be the most infuriating. These creeps will often go ahead with their plans before you’ve agreed. Or they’ll tell you something like, “Remember? We agreed to so-and-so last week,” knowing darn well you never agreed to anything.

Manipulators will try to put words in your mouth to strong-arm you into giving in. They won’t even stop to think about how you feel about it. Why? Because they don’t care.

Don’t go along with this. Give this person their walking papers. Pronto!

6. Tactics of Manipulators:

Predicting negative outcomes to your plans

 Anytime you have plans, there will be those who will try to break your confidence. And they will do it by giving you words of discouragement.

For example, if you plan to record a CD, they might say things like, “I’m not trying to disappoint you, but chances are your CD will never chart.” Or “I hate to say this, but it’s no guarantee a producer will ever sign you to a record deal.”

Moreover, if you’re planning to publish a book, someone might ask you, “How do you know your book will even sell?” Or they might ask, “Do you really think you’re that good a writer? You need to be honest with yourself.”

They may also ridicule and belittle your goals and dreams. They do this to make your dreams seem foolish or something to be ashamed of. And sadly, these kinds of tactics work.

They’re even more effective when manipulators use them in front of an audience.

Trust me, I had people do the same to me, but it never discouraged me. It only ticked me off and made me double down on my plans to publish my books. And the best part is, I finally did it!

I advise you to do the same. If a shady character tries to discourage you from pursuing your plans, goals, and dreams, keep going.

Realize that the reason people discourage you is that they’re so afraid that you might succeed. In fact, the very possibility of you succeeding scares them to death!

Why? Because your success would force these jerks to take a long look at themselves and their own pathetic lives. Moreover, it just might put you ahead of them.

7. Tactics of Manipulators:

Distracting you from your goals

If jealous manipulators know that you’re striving toward a goal, they will deliberately try to distract you. Again, the reason they do this is that, deep down, they’re afraid that you might succeed. Then you will force them to compare your life to theirs.

Point blank, these people want so badly for you to fail. And they want you to stay on the same level as them. Why? So they won’t be left alone in the gutter, feeling so bad about themselves.

For example, people might be real sneaky about it. They may begin inviting you to parties or trying to get you drunk.

When they do this, they can claim that they only want you to have a good time instead of sitting at home studying all the time. Or they may be more overt and interrupt you while you’re working.

Or, they may play loud music while you’re trying to concentrate. Again, these people are scared to death of your success. And they will very slyly put out all the stops to distract your attention. So, beware.

How you combat this is by politely declining any invitations. Or, you can go to a place where you can work quietly and not be interrupted or distracted.

8. Tactics of Manipulators:

Isolating you.

Abusive partners

This is, perhaps, one of the worst manipulation tactics. And it happens often in abusive marriages and relationships.

The person may try to keep you away from caring family and friends. Therefore, you must see the reasons they do it.

One reason is to control the narrative. They want to make sure your loved ones don’t give you information that could put them in danger. For instance, your family members may see right through your partner.

As a result, they may tell you that they aren’t good for you and that you should drop them. Moreover, your partner may want to keep you all to themselves. However, you must understand that this isn’t normal and should be seen as a red flag.

Bullies

If your manipulators are bullies, they may turn your friends against you. They may also make it difficult for you to make new friends.

Understand that they do this to control your social life. If they can ruin your reputation and turn everyone against you, they can make you lonely. Moreover, they can cut off any support you might otherwise receive.

And it’s all to maintain power over your life.

Tactics of Manipulators:

in conclusion

These are only a few tactics manipulators use, but they are the most common. Other tactics include gaslighting, physical abuse, and fear.

Your best defense against them is knowledge. When you know their tactics and personalities, you can better predict what they’ll do. Then you can block their attempts to control you.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

Here’s a brief summary of what we just covered:

  • Guilt trips
  • Pretending not to understand
  • Being friendly only when they expect something from you.
  • Giving you the silent treatment
  • Acting as if an agreement has been made when you haven’t agreed to anything.
  • Predicting negative outcomes to your plans.
  • Distracting you from your goals.
  • Isolating you.

This post was all about manipulators and the tactics they use so that you can use what you’ve learned to predict their next move and outflank them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Sub-types of Bullies: 7 Personalities of Bullies

2.  What Bullies Hate Most: 9 Things Bullies Despise

3. Gaslighting Examples: 11 Notable Tactics Gaslighters Use

4. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

signs verbal abuse will turn physical in a relationship

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical

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‘Want to know all the signs verbal abuse will turn physical? Here are all the indicators you need to know.

signs verbal abuse will turn physical

There are always signs that verbal abuse will turn physical. Therefore, in this post, you will learn what those signs are so that you can act beforehand.

Once you learn all these indicators, you will be better prepared to defend yourself when a bully raises a hand to you.

This post is all about the signs verbal abuse will turn physical, so that if you’re being verbally bullied, you will be prepared to defend yourself. And if you’re in an abusive relationship, you can start planning your exit strategy now.

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical

You would be surprised at how quickly and easily a bully (or any abuser, for that matter) can change from letting their mouths do the talking to letting their fists and feet speak for them.

No one should ever tolerate verbal abuse. However, many do put up with it and don’t realize that words can turn into physical blows.

here’s a scenario you’ll probably recognize

Bullying always escalates. Always. For instance, bullies have been verbally abusing you for quite some time. You remember how they began with subtle digs and zingers. Next, you noticed that they progressed to openly screaming at you and cursing you out like a dog.

They called you ugly names and accused you of things you are not guilty of. They probably shouted you down, everything you even looked like you were going to speak.

And now, they are making threats of violence against you. You’ve begun to feel afraid because you’re not sure if they mean it or not. Therefore, you don’t know when the bullying will become physical and what they’ll do to you when it does.

Understand that your bullies are still pushing your boundaries. Little by little, they up the ante to test you and figure out how you’ll react. In other words, they are seeing what you’ll let them get away with.

Therefore, they always start small. And they ever so gradually turn it up in teeny tiny increments. Bullies do this to condition you to take worse abuse. And sometimes, you don’t even know they’re doing it.

So, how do you know when the verbal bullying you suffer is about to become physical? Here’s how:

1. Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical:

they invade your personal space

You can’t mistake this body language. When bullies invade your space, it’s a surefire sign that things are about to get physical. They get a little too close. They’ll follow close behind you as you’re walking down the hallway or street.

They may stand too close to you in the lunch line or while you’re punching the time clock. They may even step in front of you and block you from going any further.

Understand that body language speaks louder than words ever will. The verbal attacks were only a precursor. If nothing else, know this! Anytime a bully gets too close to you, it means they want to strike you.

Therefore, they are making sure that you are within their reach so that they can. Moreover, they are experimenting with you to gauge your response.

If someone gets in your face, your first response should be to knock the living hell out of them.

In this case, offense is the best defense. In other words, don’t even give them a chance to hit you first. Why? Because the first strike just might be the one that maims or kills you.

Therefore, to prevent a possible physical attack, the time to act is now! You must tell them in no uncertain terms to back off. And if they don’t, it’s time to strike first.

Yes! You heard me correctly. I’m not beyond hauling off and punching someone in the nose if they get in my face and refuse to back off.

However, be aware that you may be in a place where punching a bully isn’t suitable. You may be working at your job or studying in class.

In lieu of fighting, I recommend that you look the bully dead in the eye.  And give the hardest glare you can muster. Then tell them in a low, growling voice to knock it off. Keep in mind that your nonverbal communication (your body language) must match what you say.

Keep glaring at them, without blinking, until they avert their eyes. Make sure you’re standing absolutely still and facing them in a power pose. (More on power poses later) The goal here is to put the fear of God in the bully.

2. Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical:

they lay claim to your things and your territory

Bullies may sit at your desk. They may also pick up your belongings or lean on your car. Understand that, by touching your belongings, bullies are laying claim to what is yours. This is another sign of hostility.

This is the time to assert yourself firmly. Tell them to keep their slimy, grimy paws off your stuff! Bear in mind that messing with your belongings or destroying them is also considered to be physical bullying.

However, be forewarned that most bullies will see this as a challenge. And they will dare you to do something about it.

In this case, don’t be afraid to throw up your dukes. It’s your stuff they’re messing with, and they’re doing it to test you and see how far they can push you! So, don’t fail!

But, just as I mentioned earlier, if you use fisticuffs, make sure the time, place, and conditions are as close to right as possible. If not, do what I suggested at the end of the last section.

3. they will begin assaulting you and making it look like an accident

I call this borderline physical abuse.

Bullies will begin their physical assaults through“accidental” shoves, pushes, and bumps. They may do things “accidentally on purpose.”

For instance, they may“accidentally” run or bump into you in the hallway or parking lot. They might “accidentally” trip you or knock you down.

Or they’ll “accidentally” knock things out of your hands. They will say, “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to (trip, shove, run into you, etc.).

And they’ll say it knowing damn well they did it deliberately. Also, you’ll know it too.

Moreover, they do it, thinking that maybe, just maybe, you won’t notice that it’s escalating. After all, accidents happen all the time. No harm, no foul. Right?

The problem is that if bullies get away with these types of games, they’ll only escalate it until it gets out of control. And once bullying gets out of control, it’s almost impossible to stop or even slow down.

Again, it’s time to throw up those dukes! Remember not to doubt yourself and what you know and feel. And you always know when something is done on purpose. You can sense these kinds of things.

Signs Verbal Abuse will Turn Physical: Like any other form of abuse, Bullying will only get worse if you don’t act.

Understand that bullying, or any form of abuse, always- always gets worse if you let it slide. Because it’s a dark part of human nature to push, push, and push further to see how far one can go.

Again, tune into your body and intuition. In other words, listen to your gut. Why? Because your gut will tell you if what the person did to you was deliberate or an accident.

If your senses tell you they did it on purpose, call it out and ask them to stop it right away. If that doesn’t work and the bully keeps it up, it might be time to throw down. But, whatever you do, put a stop to it because it’ll only get worse if you don’t.

4. They begin threatening physical violence.

This is a surefire sign that verbal bullying is about to escalate to fists. If a bully starts threatening to “kick your butt,” believe them. Take it seriously. And be prepared to defend yourself. Don’t back down and don’t turn your back on them. Why?

Because bullies don’t fight fair, they will attack you from behind the minute you turn your back and walk away.

And if they get in your face, they are violating your personal space. Moreover, it means that they want to get close enough to attack physically. So, don’t hesitate to punch their lights out.

Never doubt what you feel. Trust it!

Many victims of bullying hesitate to act because they don’t trust their instincts. They question their own instincts. “Is he really about to attack me, or is he only trying to scare me?”

The trick is to trust your gut. It picks up on the other person’s energy. If your gut tells you that the person wants to hit you, it is probably right.

Signs Verbal Bullying will Turn Physical:

In conclusion

To defend yourself, you must pay attention and trust your instincts. Look for these signs. And if you see them, you must do whatever it takes to contain the threat. And if that means hitting first, then do it.

With knowledge comes empowerment.

 This post is all about the signs Verbal bullying will Turn PHYSICAL so that you can be ready for when the bully attacks you.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Verbal Bullying

2. Physical Bullying Information: 5 Must-Know Secrets Bullies Don’t Want You to Know

3.  How to Deal with Physical Bullies

4. Non Verbal Bullying: Hostile Body Language Head to Toe

5. Examples of Non Verbal Bullying

what doesn't work with bullies in school

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies: 10 Reactions to Stop Right Now

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‘Want to know what doesn’t work with bullies? Here are all the responses you need to know that only produce the opposite of what you hope for.

what doesn't work with bullies

Specific responses never work with bullies. And you must know what they are to avoid using them and making yourself an even bigger target.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what doesn’t work with bullies so you can avoid them more easily and respond more effectively.

Once you learn these vital tips, you will be able to respond to bullying more effectively.

This post is all about what doesn’t work with bullies, so you’ll know how to avoid responding.

What doesn’t work with Bullies

Some responses and reactions work, and some don’t. Some responses will prompt bullies to back off. However, others will only encourage them to continue and even escalate their harassment.

So, what doesn’t work with bullies? Here’s a list of ways to avoid responding at all costs.

1. Ignoring them.

I’m sure you’ve had many people tell you to ignore the bullies when they bully you. This is just another classic, worn-out piece of bad advice.

I got that lousy advice, too. And I learned the hard way – it doesn’t work. Period. Full stop! It never works.

Bullies will only become angry when you ignore them. And they will escalate the bullying. Moreover, they will mistake your ignoring them for fear.

If a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible.

You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully. This isn’t necessarily a bad response.

However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind? When people tell you to ignore the bully, what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep calling it out. And keep setting boundaries.

2. What Doesn’t work with Bullies:

Asking them why.

Many victims mistakenly ask their bullies why. And it’s because they haven’t been taught more effective responses.

  • “Why are you doing this to me?”
  • “Why me?”
  • “What did I ever do to you?”

These questions are pointless. Why? Because, by asking these types of questions, you’re only reinforcing your role as a victim.

A bully will never answer those questions. And it’s because they either can’t or won’t answer them. Why would they tell you?

Remember that part of the bully’s power is to keep you confused. And believe me, their silence on it speaks just as loudly as their words. They love to keep you guessing and trying to rack your brain.

That alone is power in and of itself. If bullies can keep you wondering, they can continue the behavior. And they can do it without you catching on that they are the ones with the problem and not you.

Therefore, it’s best to look up articles and books on bullying to get the answers to your questions. You’ll get much better answers from these sources than you ever will from your bullies.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Why keeping you confused is half their power.

Again, keeping you bewildered is a power all its own. Why? Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly. And if you can’t think clearly, you are less likely to figure out what to do about it.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! To tell you why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy. To be honest about what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

Therefore, I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve brutal treatment.

To take back your power, you must realize that they are the mentally impaired ones. They are the ones with the problem, and they are responsible for their behavior.

Instead of focusing your attention on finding out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?”  Ask “What can I do to remove myself from the situation and the toxic environment?”

Consider your options and weigh each carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

3. I-Responses.

Instead, respond with a You-Response. For example, tell them, “You chose that behavior, I didn’t.” Or, you can say, “You’re such an asshole.”

Whatever you do, keep your response away from yourself. Always say, “You are the problem,” or “You chose to be a jerk.” Choose any response that points to the bully and not at you.

4. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Begging.

When you beg a bully not to hurt you, it only makes you look weaker. Moreover, when you beg, bullies get a rush of power. Bullies love it when you beg. Therefore, don’t give them the satisfaction.

More importantly, it doesn’t work. It only makes bullies want to harm you more. Why? Because it makes you seem like a loser.

Instead of begging, look the bully in the eye and firmly tell them to back the hell off. And if they don’t, you may have to put up your fists. Begging comes from a position of weakness. So, you must speak from a position of strength.

5. Apologizing.

Apologizing to bullies is a trauma response. So, it isn’t your fault.

Apologizing is appropriate when a situation warrants it. A sincere apology to someone you’ve hurt shows good character and integrity. It brings about healing and reopens communication between you and those you’ve wronged.

But what if the circumstances do not need one? Apologies can backfire when you offer them needlessly to people who don’t deserve them.

You may say “I’m sorry” before you even have time to think. It’s an automatic response. So, when you catch yourself about to say “sorry,” Stop for a moment.

Assess the situation and the person you’re apologizing to.

NEVER apologize to a bully. Bullies will only see it as weakness. Understand that you can never appease a bully.

Giving bullies undeserved apologies makes you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. So, instead of apologizing. Tell them, “You’ll get over it,” and walk away.

In fact, here’s what you do before apologizing to a bully.

What Doesn’t Work With Bullies:

Ask yourself these questions:

  • Doesn’t this warrant an apology?
  • Is this person someone I need to apologize to?
  • Is this my fault?
  • Did I have any control over this?
  • Am I responsible for someone else’s behavior other than my own?

If the answers are no, then save your apology for a person who deserves it and a situation that warrants it.

  • Do these people bully and abuse me?
  • Do they gaslight me when I defend myself or when I assert my needs and wants?
  • Have they yelled at me, insulted me, or ridiculed me when I’m having fun and just being myself?
  • Do they bully me more intensely when I express my own thoughts and opinions?
  • Do they punish me for feeling angry or sad emotions?
  • And, do they ridicule me for asking for help?

If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you don’t have to apologize. So, don’t!

I can’t stress this enough. When you offer apologies to bullies, you are wandering into people-pleasing territory. Also, your apologies will eventually lose their meaning when used too much for too long.

Moreover, they can weaken you in the eyes of predatory people. You will become the victim of people who wish to take advantage of you for their own selfish and sick pleasure and gain.

Why? Because you’re sorry for simply existing and taking up space.

What Doesn’t work with Bullies:

What you should say instead of apologizing.

If a bully or abuser is trying to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault, is beyond your control, or something that doesn’t need an apology, these are powerful responses.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

Therefore, understand that in those circumstances, you are not inconveniencing anyone or being a bother. Realize that your needs are just as important as everyone else’s.

This trauma response comes from a bullied brain. In other words, after people have bullied you for so long, you over-apologize because you’re afraid of being bullied again. But it can only bring more bullying because people will use it against you.

6. Explaining.

Explaining is a trap. Why? Because most things don’t need an explanation. Yet bullies are good at getting their victims to explain things that don’t need explaining.

Worst of all, victims of bullying are unsure how not to get sucked into needlessly explaining themselves. Therefore, they end up wasting their breath on people who aren’t worthy of their time or consideration.

As a result, they end up making themselves even bigger targets and get stuck in endless cycles of having to explain their every move.

This can become exhausting and, not to mention, dis-empowering! Therefore, you must realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Why Bullies Bait you into the Explaining Trap.

  • To throw you off-balance
  • To gather ammunition with which to fire back at you later
  • And to get you emotional.

So, how do you respond to this tactic intelligently and with strength? You respond by giving them a dismissive look, then walking away. Sometimes, silence speaks the loudest.

7. Being Nice.

Sweet talk never works with bullies. Too much sugar is never good because it not only eats away at your teeth, but it also eats away at your self-esteem and your life.

In a world full of evil people, being too nice means having no backbone or boundaries. Therefore, bullies will only see your kindness as a sign of being a fool. And don’t think they won’t find ways to exploit it.

With bullies, you must grow a pair and stand up to shabby treatment. It’s the only way you will ever get through to them.

8. A soft “No”.

When you say no to bullies, you must give them a hard no, never a soft one. A soft no is a no that is gentler and includes an explanation (see number six). It has no teeth. Therefore, bullies will only steamroll right over it.

On the other hand, a hard no is a firm, point-blank refusal. It has strength behind it. For instance, you can say, “No,” “Nope!” or “Absolutely not!” Then walk away.

Responses to bullies should always be firm.

9. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

Submitting and trying to appease them.

Anytime you submit just to appease them and make them go away, you are rewarding their behavior. In other words, you’re giving them what they want. And, if you give them what they want, what makes you think they won’t come back for more?

You cannot submit your way out of being bullied. And you cannot appease a bully. Moreover, bullies don’t understand politeness or diplomacy; they only understand strength. These are facts you must know right now!

10. Pandering

I’ve seen so many bullied targets- even people who aren’t victims pander- or, in laymen terms, suck up. Bullies can be intimidating, even downright threatening, no doubt.

Anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do whatever it takes to quell the danger. That, I understand entirely.

But, unless they threaten your life, it isn’t a good idea to pander to bullies. Why? Because it wouldn’t change anything. You only give away more of your power by bowing down and kissing their feet.

As a result, you’ll end up feeling even worse about yourself than you did before.

Pandering is for pansies. So, think for yourself and start standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries. They may bully you harder at first. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.

But if you stick to it, they will go away sooner or later. And you’ll feel better about yourself.

What Doesn’t Work with Bullies:

In conclusion

To know how to respond means learning how not to respond. Therefore, avoid these reactions, and you will become bully-proof and live in peace. I promise you.

This post was all about what doesn’t work with bullies so that you can stand strong, make them leave you alone, and preserve your SELF-ESTEEM.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Important Facts About Bullying: 3 Truths You Must Learn

 2. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

3.  No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For

4. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

why bullies won't leave you alone reddit

Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone

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‘Want to know why bullies won’t leave you alone? Here are all the reasons bullies keep coming after you so that you can plan your defense accordingly.

why bullies won't leave you alone

Once bullies get a bead on you, they are relentless. In fact, they are the most persistent people on earth. They are like a dog with a bone, and most won’t stop coming after you until they get you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all the reasons bullies won’t leave you alone, so you will no longer feel confused and can begin taking the proper steps to defend yourself and restore your safety.

Once you learn all about these vital details, you will be better prepared when bullies place a target on your back.

This post explains why bullies won’t leave you alone, helping you clear up the confusion and become more determined to stand up for yourself.

Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone

If you’re a target of bullying, I’m confident that you’ve asked these questions a million times over.

  • “These bullies despise me so much. Why don’t they get a life and leave me alone?”
  • “They think that I’m such a bad person, so why don’t they just let me go?”
  • “Why don’t they just forget me, go on about their business, and let me go on about mine?”
  • “If I’m such a disgusting person to them, then why can’t my bullies simply just stay away from me?”
  • “My bullies hate me so much. So, wouldn’t it be better for everyone if they stayed away from me? If they just went on and did their thing and let me do mine?
  • “If I’m as loathsome as they say I am, why waste the energy to chase me down and harass me?”
  • “Why would people continue to pursue a person they so vehemently detest?”
  • “Why do they keep talking to me at all, even if it is abusive?”

After all, it would be a sensible solution to their problem. They stay away from you; you stay away from them, then everyone can be shiny and happy. Right?

Unfortunately, that’s not how it works out.

As much as I hate to tell you, bullies will never go away and allow you to live in peace. If they have selected you to be their target, they won’t just go away quietly.

Here’s why.

1. Their Goal is to Dominate you.

Bullies can’t dominate you by staying away from you. To lord it over you, they must engage you. They must stick close to you. You can’t dominate if you don’t watch the person.

Understand that a bully’s entire mission in life is to dominate and subjugate…period. And if not you, anyone. You just happen to be the easiest victim for them. You are the person they have in their sights.

Therefore, their goal is to subjugate you, to hold you down, and oppress you. Realize that this is the only way bullies can thrive. In fact, their very ethos is in mentally or physically enslaving and tormenting you.

2. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

bullying you gives them meaning in their lives.

In short, the only way bullies can have some semblance of meaning in their own lives is to dominate another human being. Why? Because they could never attain (or obtain) power any other way.

Outside of trying to control and keep a tight grip on others’ lives, bullies can’t find meaning. And they don’t have any sense of effectiveness or self-worth.

Bullies have no substance. They have zero redeemable qualities. The vast majority are only life losers disguised as winners and cloaked in false perfection.

So, it makes perfect sense that the only way they find meaning is through subjugation. Therefore, they ride roughshod over people they perceive to have the least power.

You must realize that if your bullies just left you alone, they would have nothing else. Why? Because there is nothing left out there for them.

3. Outside of the places they take over, Bullies are nothing.

These bullies may indeed run the school, workplace, or community. However, outside of those environments, they take over and rule with iron fists; they have nothing, zip, zilch, squat!

On the other hand, you have a healthy mentality. You don’t have to bully others to find meaning in your life. Why? Because chances are that you already have it outside the bullying environment.

Unlike your bullies, you find meaning through unity and togetherness with your family and friends. You also discover it through your church, home, talents, hobbies, and interests.

Sadly, bullies don’t have these things to fall back on.

4. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

Bullies need victims.

Understand that bullies must have victims. In fact, they need them. Bullies need people whom they can oppress and subjugate. They crave people they can order around and tell what to do.

Bullying itself requires targets. Take the target out of the equation, and bullying ceases to exist.

If one is going to be in charge, there must be people to be in charge of. You can’t be a ruler if there are no people around. In other words, you’re not the boss of anything if there are no people to boss around.

You can’t be a king if there’s no kingdom, because for a kingdom even to exist, there must be people living in it for you to rule.

Put another way, it would be like discovering a deserted island and declaring yourself king of that island. If a king has no people to rule, he has no kingdom and, therefore, no power.

It’s the same with bullies. Without targets to lord over, there’s no power for them to have and enjoy.

5. Without victims, bullies have no power.

Here’s another thing to consider. If you’re a target of bullying, your bullies don’t like the fact that you want to get away from them. Why? Because if you were to escape their abuse and declare yourself a separate person, you would take their power right along with you.

Therefore, the thought of you leaving the environment only enrages your bullies. Moreover, any attempts you make to evade them will be met with intense anger. Then, they will escalate the abuse to punish you.

Again, when you flee or fight back, you’re attempting to take away the only power they have.

When Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

The battered wife.

The same thing happens when a battered wife finally musters up the courage to leave her abusive husband. It drives him up the wall, and not because he’s lost her. It’s because he has lost power over her.

Bullies are no different. Their rage and hostility at the possibility of you either fighting back or leaving the environment is all about the threat of losing power.

Remember that bullying is abuse. And, just like domestic violence, rape, molestation, or any other form of abuse, it is about power.

Since bullying and abuse are the same, they’re both about power.

Therefore, bullies will never allow you to live in peace. The reason bullies won’t leave you alone is that to do so would mean them losing the only thing they have- their power…over you.

6. power is addictive.

The power that bullies get from bullying you is addictive. It gives them a rush of authority. However, that rush wears off quickly.

In other words, bullying is like a drug. And like any drug, it gives the user a high or a rush. When it wears off, the user then searches for another hit.

Power is addictive. And bullies are insecure people with fragile egos. They’re insecure people in control.

As long as they can keep you worn down, where you accept their abuse, they have power over you. And the longer they have power over you, the more addicted they become to it.

Their pathetic little egos feed off of controlling you. And the more they feed their egos at your expense, the stronger that power-addiction becomes.

However, once you get an ass full and decide to stand up to the creeps, you take back your power. Then your bullies become outraged. Why? Because you have taken away the very thing they’ve become addicted to.

7. Why Bullies Won’t Leave You Alone:

Bullying is like a drug to bullies.

How does someone who’s addicted to drugs act when you suddenly cut them off from their drug supply? They climb the walls! It’s the same with bullies when you defend yourself and take back your power – the drug they’re addicted to.

Therefore, to bring you back under their control, your bullies might put on the nice act and become apologetic. However, this doesn’t happen often because bullies are prideful.

In most cases, your bullies will increase the abuse. They will reinforce their power by punishing you for defending yourself. For instance, verbal bullies begin verbally assaulting you, and you counter them with a good burn.

Your bullies may dial up the abuse by giving you a good beating. It’s a fact that most verbal bullies become physical bullies. And this is why.

Bullying always escalates. Why? Because, as with a drug, the user builds a tolerance to it. Therefore, they need more of the drug. With bullying, bullies may start by calling you names. But that soon loses its thrill.

Then the bullies escalate it and begin physically abusing you.

8. You’re an easy target.

Because you don’t fight back, they know they can get away with it. In other words, by not defending yourself, you only reward their behavior.

So, who wouldn’t keep doing it if it gives them the rewards they’re looking for?

The only way your bullies will leave you alone is if you start setting boundaries. That means imposing consequences on anyone who violates your boundaries.

Therefore, you must defend yourself from bullying if you want bullies to leave you alone. It’s the only way to get them to stop.

This post was all about why bullies won’t leave you alone so that you will begin defending yourself and take back your right to safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

4. When You Need Someone More Than They Need You: 8 Ways to Tip the Scales of Power!

suicidal empathy meaning

Suicidal Empathy: 9 Signs and Examples of Empathetic Suicide

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‘What is suicidal empathy? How do you know you suffer from it? Here’s everything you need to know so that you won’t empathize with people who secretly want to harm you.

suicidal empathy

Suicidal empathy has become a hot topic in recent months. Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly what it is. You will also learn the signs and examples of it so that you can see it more clearly.

Once you learn these crucial details, you will be able to identify whether you have it and prevent further self-sabotage.

This post is all about suicidal empathy, so that you know if you have it and realize that it’s okay to protect yourself from those who mean you harm.

What is Suicidal Empathy?

Suicidal empathy is the kind of toxic empathy where you feel bad for the very people who are trying to destroy you. When you have suicidal empathy, you empathize with the wrong people.

To put it another way, you empathize at your own expense.

For instance, you may feel guilty for standing up for yourself. You may believe that you truly deserve to be punished. Here you will discover all the hallmarks of this deadly mental disease.

Signs of Suicidal Empathy.

1. You make excuses for your bullies who are clearly out to hurt you.

You want so badly for them to be your friends that you will go out of your way to prove to them that you are worthy of their friendship. But, friend, let me tell you. You’re spinning your tires for nothing.

So they do something nasty to you, and a family member who loves you sees it. And they aren’t having it.

So, they tell your bullies off and tell them to get the hell off your property. Next, you turn to the caring family member and ask, “Why’d you do that? They were only horsing around.” This is only one example. However, it’s the most popular in this situation.

Realize that bullies may act as if they want to be your friend. And they do this in groups. They pull this game on their victims all the time. But “why would they do that?” You may ask. They do it specifically to get close enough to harm you.

Mostly, school bullies pull this tactic.

They may covertly humiliate you. Or, they may claim to like you, then take subtle potshots to shock you.

So, they surround you in your own yard. The lead bully throws a slight dig at you. Then they slyly look at the other bullies in the group and smile. And then, wink-wink, nod-nod.

You hear quiet snickers and giggles. And you wonder, if they’re swearing up and down that they’re your friends, why are they acting like this?

I’ll tell you why. They’re doing it to keep you confused and on the back foot. Realize that they have likely planned this out from the get-go. Again, they wanted to get close enough to you to get you. And the only way they could do that is to pretend friendship.

So, they make a complete fool of you. And they do it so that they can get together later and laugh at you behind your back. Therefore, if a parent or sibling comes and tells your so-called friends to get lost, pay attention.

Your family member might see something that you’re missing.

2. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

You’re in an abusive relationship, and you get angry at your parents for suggesting that you leave the creep.

You’re a girl who is dating Mr. handsome and charming. He does and says all the right things at the right time. And he showers you with affections and gifts.

This guy seems like the one of your dreams. Then slowly, as the months go by, the gifts get less frequent. So does the affection. He begins taking little nibbles at your self-esteem by making sneaky digs and suggestions.

For instance, you have invited him to dinner at your parents’ house. During dinner, you tell him about your dream of going to college. And he very sweetly asks you,

“Honey, you are a brilliant lady. Don’t get me wrong. It’s why I love you. But college is tough. Are you sure that you would make it? I don’t want you to end up disappointed.”

You may think that your boyfriend is telling you this because he loves you. After all, he seems concerned and doesn’t want you to suffer disappointment.

Enmity is often disguised as love and concern.

However, your parents see through his candy-coated suggestion. They realize that he is subtly planting seeds of doubt in your mind. And he’s disguising it as love and concern.

Later, after he leaves, your parents tell you that it would not be wise to continue dating this guy. As a result, they annoy you. And you ask them why they would say such a thing.

When they tell you that he’s trying to control you, you only wave them away. You respond with, “That’s ridiculous. He’s only telling me that because he loves me.”

But they know better. Still, you get irritated and snap at them before leaving. This is what suicidal empathy looks like. You empathize with the wrong person—one who only pretends to have your best interests at heart.

A year later, the abuse has escalated, and he’s leaving bruises all over your body. And you look back and realize that your parents were right. They saw something in this boy that you missed.

3. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

You make excuses for your out-of-control child.

You’re a parent of a fourteen-year-old daughter. She has given you trouble since she was eleven. Your daughter has been sneaking out on the weekends.

Her grades are in the toilet. Why? Because getting her to study is like pulling teeth. And she never turns in her homework.

Moreover, she has been fighting at school and in the streets. And she’s had a few encounters with law enforcement. You dismiss her behavior, saying that she is “just going through some things.”

The following week, someone from the police station calls you. They inform you that your girl was caught shoplifting makeup from a department store.

Still, you don’t have the intestinal fortitude to correct your child. Instead, you blame the store for being greedy and the police for being too hard on her.

4. Your son just beat the crap out of you, and you turn around and bail him out of jail.

You have an overly entitled son. He yells at you, and talks shit to you, and you stand there and talk it. Or, you do the gentle parenting routine. You speak to him about respect and why it’s essential.

But the kid isn’t going for it. He thinks he knows better than you do. Therefore, he tells you that he’s going to do whatever the hell he wants. And there’s nothing you can do to stop him.

On the weekends, he sits on his butt in your basement, playing video games all day. During the week, he skips school most days to hang out with his buddies.

When you find out what the boy has been doing, you confront him. This escalates to an argument. Then, you both come to blows, and he beats the thunder out of you.

So, you call the cops, and they arrest him. And, the next day, you post his bail. You tell others that he’s really a good kid, but he’s going through a lot. He’s depressed. Or, he’s having a rough time of it.

And that’s why he just whooped your ass. Right?

5. Signs of Suicidal Empathy:

Unnecessary Guilt.

We could use a few examples here. The other kids are bullying you in the locker room. They’re beating you up. Or, they may be calling you names. They might even be playing cruel jokes on you.

However, you feel guilty for their behavior. Why? Because you believe that you must have done something to make them do it. Only you don’t know what you did.

You don’t realize that they have conditioned you to believe it’s your fault.

Maybe you’re a battered wife whose husband snaps and punches her in the face. And he tells you that if you don’t do things to piss him off, he won’t hit you. Sadly, you believe him.

Or, you make excuses for his behavior. “He just lost his job,” or “He’s going through a hard time right now. He doesn’t mean to do these things.”

Therefore, each time he slaps you around, you wonder what you must have done. And the cycle continues.

And if someone in your family committed a severe crime, that has no bearing on you. You’re not guilty. Therefore, you aren’t responsible.

Toxic people will try to make you feel guilty for things that you, personally, haven’t done. So, don’t fall for that.

6. Self-hatred.

You’ve been bullied at school or at work. Or, maybe the media has convinced you that you are evil based on some physical characteristic. Moreover, they say that everyone who has that trait is evil.

So, you become ashamed of being who you are. If you could get rid of that trait, you would be perfect. Right?

If you’re bullied at school for having red hair, you grow to hate your hair. So, instead of loving yourself as you are, you allow bullies to define you. Instead of refusing to believe the garbage they spew, you take it as gospel.

There’s one thing you need to know right now. Others may hate you, but you should never hate yourself. Never allow them to cause you to see yourself through their lens.

Stop allowing others to define who you are. Only you have that knowledge!

7. Suicidal Empathy:

Feeling guilty for defending yourself.

During the last ten years, society has trained us not to defend ourselves. For example, six years ago, some implied that you had no right to call 911 if someone invaded your home.

They claimed you valued your belongings more than the home invader’s life. However, there’s something you should know.

You have every right to defend yourself. Why? Because all humans have this instinct. Its name is “self-preservation instinct” or “survival instinct.”

Therefore, it doesn’t matter what anyone says. You have a God-given, animal right to protect your own life and the lives of your family. Always remember that!

8. You virtue signal.

When you virtue signal, you are willing to do some really degrading things. And for what? To prove to others that you aren’t what they say you are?

For instance, a few years back, we watched videos of people kneeling before certain interest groups. And they did it in public? Why? Because they wanted to show the world that they weren’t “racists.”

If you feel you must bend over backwards to win approval, then you’re an insecure person. To degrade yourself for people whose approval you never had and never will? That’s a weakness to the greatest extent.

Why waste your energy trying to prove yourself to people who will never validate you anyway? It’s a waste of time! No matter what you do, the people you bow down to will always hate you.

Moreover, they will laugh at you because of the fool you make of yourself. Anytime you pander to people who couldn’t care less about you, you only embarrass yourself.

Stop humiliating yourself! You have nothing to prove to anyone but God and yourself. You see? If you aren’t an evil person, there’s no need to prove it. Your goodness is already there, whether others notice it or not.

Suicidal Empathy:

The Great Pandering

Today, you see governments turning somersaults to protect criminals and invaders and make excuses for them. And they only punish the innocent. Moreover, they hang their own citizens out to dry. Why? To prove that they aren’t Islamophobes or xenophobes.

Moreover, it’s how schools and workplaces protect bullies. You see companies throwing away talent and hard work in favor of identity and ideology. This is a form of virtue signaling.

Understand that if you are secure in who you are, you won’t feel the need to prove that you aren’t the label of the day. Therefore, you’ll punish wrong and reward right without fear.

Another way you pander is to pander to bullies because you’re afraid they might punish you somehow. But know this. When you feel you must pander, it’s a sign that someone is gaslighting you.

9. You downplay your own positive qualities to make someone else feel better about themselves.

If nothing else, understand this: If anyone tries to convince you that you must shrink yourself, they are not the ones you need to be around.

For example, a married woman has an opportunity to land a job that pays her twice what her abusive husband makes. And she turns it down because she doesn’t want to make him angry by out-earning him.

Moreover, this doesn’t only happen in marriages. It also happens in friendships, at school, and in the workplace.

So, again, if you must make yourself small to boost someone else’s ego, then you may need to make adjustments.

Suicidal Empathy:

In Conclusion

Empathizing with people who are down on their luck is fine. However, empathizing with wrongdoers puts you in danger.

Therefore, we must know the difference between empathy and suicidal empathy. Know the kind of people we are feeling sorry for. And once we do, we will be able to place our empathy where it belongs.

And, most importantly, we can do it while ensuring our safety.

This post was all about suicidal empathy so that you will know how to empathize without doing it at your own expense.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Guilty Conscience: The Top 4 Ways Bullies Act When You Speak Up

2. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person 

3. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

5. Excuses Schools Make for Bullies: Here are 7 Most Common 

when bullying backfires at school

When Bullying Backfires: 7 Things that Happen

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‘Want to know what happens when bullying backfires? Here is everything you need to know to be encouraged to defend yourself against bullies.

when bullying backfires

In this post, you will learn what happens when bullying backfires.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will smile when you see a bully get their comeuppance. Moreover, you will be encouraged to defend yourself when a bully comes for you.

This post is all about what happens when bullying backfires, so that you will defend yourself when you face bullying.

When Bullying Backfires

It doesn’t happen often, I’m sad to say. However, there are times when bullying backfires in a big way. I’ve seen times when bullies bullied a victim and did not get the reaction or the attention they wanted.

Here’s what happens.

1. the victim gets sympathy from bystanders.

In most cases, bystanders become bullies themselves and join in. However, sometimes, they don’t and end up surprising you.

This happened to me a few times. However, it only occurred occasionally. Nevertheless, it was a relief when it did. There were times when I got sympathy from a few upperclassmen when I was in the ninth grade and being bullied.

And they helped me report the bullying. A few of them also stood up for me when a group of bullies tried to tag-team me in the school parking lot. And I could not have been more grateful to those older girls.

The point of this section is this. Sometimes, you will gain sympathy from bystanders when bullies gang up on you. It’s rare, but it happens. Therefore, when this does occur, be grateful and bask in it.

Also, you must see this as an opportunity to make friends with these people.

2. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully faces accountability.

Sometimes, people in authority do the right thing. However, this only happens rarely.

There will be times when your bullies do something foolish and end up exposing themselves to authority. Superiors may suspend, fire, or arrest the bully, leaving you off the hook for acting in self-defense.

I tell this from personal experience because it happened to me a few times in school. So it can for you too. And when it does, look at it with an attitude of gratitude.

3. The bully gets backlash.

Bullies love attention, and they’ll do anything to get it, especially if they have narcissistic personality disorder. However, their bully sometimes backfires, and they get attention they don’t want and never expected.

Instead of admiring them for their “strength,” witnesses only look down on them for being such assholes. Moreover, others may retaliate against them.

The last thing bullies want is to lose face. In fact, losing respect and admiration is what they fear most. They never expected it to backfire as it did. And now, they’re getting backlash they never thought possible!

Therefore, your bullies will likely leave you alone. Moreover, they will find someone else who is safer for them to bully.

4. When Bullying Backfires:

the bully loses credibility.

Believe it or not, bullies must work hard to keep up appearances and to maintain their fake facades. Bullies, especially popular ones, have an image to keep up, and they monitor themselves nonstop, twenty-four-seven.

Also, they must keep up with and remember all the lies they tell to keep their stories straight. Moreover, they often spend beyond their means to look like they have lots of money.

Is it any wonder that many bullies get charged with crimes like embezzlement, fraud, and theft? Most have to steal to keep up!

Bullies think that people must adore them at all times. They feel they have to be at the center of everything and that the world should revolve around them.

This is why most bullies are fakes, frauds, and impostors. Therefore, they have to hustle to keep that image that impresses others. Consequently, they mask their true selves. But understand that they do this out of insecurity.

Bullies aren’t happy with themselves and fear that their true selves will be exposed. And there are times when bystanders see them for the losers they are. Once others see through the bully’s facade, the bully becomes a laughingstock.

Although the bullies are afraid of looking weak and being bullied themselves, that is exactly what happens.

I’ve seen this happen many times. And, let me tell you! Hell hath no fury like bullies exposed. Be aware that your bullies will retaliate against you to tip the scales of power back in their favor. Therefore, you must be vigilant.

5. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully becomes a crybully.

Most bullies don’t mind provoking you over and over, but when you finally get fed up and show your ugly side, they aren’t only surprised but also offended. Realize that bullies are cowards. They’re also entitled little brats.

Why? Because they think they should be allowed to treat others any way they want without repercussions. They think that they are beyond reproach and feel that the world owes them.

Therefore, when you don’t bow down to them and take the abuse, they don’t like it. When you finally get fed up with their crap and respond in kind, they suddenly get their little feelings hurt.

They then morph into a crybaby who runs to the authority and cries like a little bitch. Think Nellie Olson and Nancy Olson in the TV series, “Little House on the Prairie.”

But see this for what it is. The bully is doing this to make you look like the bully and gain sympathy. And sadly, most bullies are successful at this. Therefore, it’s up to you to call out this behavior and ensure that you don’t take the blame for it.

So, don’t be afraid to name it and shame it.

6. They become a laughingstock.

Bullies must have approval from others at all times. And most bullies bully for it. And, if they don’t get approval, they feel inadequate. So they bully in front of an audience to get it.

Understand that bullies are simps. They only simp in ways that aren’t so obvious. However, understand that anyone who seeks approval, no matter how they do it, is a needy and pathetic human being.

Sadly, bullying usually gives them the attention they are looking for. However, in some cases, it only produces the opposite. Instead of cheering for and admiring them, bystanders only make fun of them. And rightfully so.

I’ve also seen this happen.

7. When Bullying Backfires:

The bully loses power.

When you take back your power, bullies react in various ways. This is because they feel a sense of dismissal or rejection when you stop letting them control you. Nobody likes being rejected and dismissed – especially by someone they consider inferior. That’s a blow to the ego like no other!

Why? Because the power dynamic automatically shifts in your favor.

Also, others may finally see them for the creeps they are and lose respect for them. So, they lose social power and influence as well.

The mighty always fall the hardest.

Here are several ways bullies lose power.

1. You stand up to the bully.

Anytime you stand up to a bully, you instantly change the power dynamic. In other words, you put the bully in a position of weakness and inferiority.

You flip the script and take the position of power over the bully. Bullies feel that they must always be in a position of power in the bully/victim relationship.

A bully gets angry enough when anyone stands up to them. But if the person standing up to them is someone they’ve grown accustomed to having power over, it makes them livid. But their anger only further exposes them.

You must realize the reason for this. This is because you’re likely at the bottom of the pecking order. So, when you finally buck up and stand up to a bully, you, figuratively, trade places with the bully and put them on the bottom, if only for that moment.

Bullies rely on fear. Therefore, when you show them you aren’t scared of them, they take a few steps back and rethink their decision to mess with you.

And when you’ve finally had enough of their gas and set your foot down? You will throw them off balance. And do you know what else you’ll do?

You’ll blast a massive hole in their ego and shock the hell out of them.

When Bullying Backfires:

When a bully loses power, be prepared for anything.

Bullies are very prideful, and their pride takes a massive blow anytime you talk back or fight back. And most bullies would rather die than be made inferior, especially to their targets.

Therefore, if you are a victim of bullying and you finally grow a spine, your bullies will do anything they can to break it. They will escalate the bullying when you first stop accepting it.

So, prepare for them to act out at first. However, keep standing your ground, and they will eventually realize that you aren’t worth the trouble. Then, they’ll leave you alone and search for another victim.

2. You DON’T respond the way the bullies expected.

Remember that bullies think that you’re weak. They never bet on the possibility that you may be a little smarter than they are. So, you let them assume what they want and trap them with it.

What do I mean? I mean that your bullies expect an emotional reaction from it. It’s how they get their power.

And when you stay calm, it throws them off. Then they become even more emotional to try to trigger your emotions. And when you finally come to a place where they can no longer faze you, you are better able to use your head.

Understand that when bullies fly into a rage, they can no longer think clearly. That’s when you have the opportunity to use it to your advantage.

Responding to a bully inventively isn’t as hard as you think. It’s pretty easy if you don’t let intense emotions get in your way.

3. When Bullying Backfires:

You snap and BEAT the crap out of them.

If you’re dealing with physical bullies who use their fists, you must defend yourself in the only language they understand. So, you finally grow sick of them using you as a punching bag and beat the living shit out of them.

Not only do they feel physical pain, but they also never thought they’d feel. But they also suffer the humiliation of getting their butts handed to them. Therefore, physical bullies will likely leave you alone if you give them a dose of their own medicine.

Moreover, others will know that they were never as tough as they made themselves out to be.

In conclusion

It may not occur often, but bullying does backfire. And when it does, it’s glorious to watch! Let this encourage you.

This post was all about what happens when bullying backfires so that you can keep this in mind and be encouraged to defend yourself.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

3. Bullying Story: Endurance, Survival, and the Will to Overcome

4. When Bystanders Become Bullies: 11 Behaviors of Bully-Supporters

5. When Bullies Lose Power Over You: 4 Things that Happen

examples of a teacher bullying a student in school

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student: School Mobbing

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‘Want to see some examples of a teacher bullying a student? Here are all the examples you need to read so that you can recognize it when a teacher bullies you or your child.

examples of a teacher bullying a student

No one has the right to bully you. That includes teachers, school staff, and parents. And yes, there are a few teachers who do participate in the bullying and mobbing of targeted students.

In this post, you will learn the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you can recognize it if it happens to you.

Once you learn all these examples, you will know when it happens and be better able to handle it.

This post will give you examples of a teacher bullying a student, so you will know how to deal with it if it ever happens to you.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student

Setting examples is the most powerful way to educate others. Therefore, when a teacher participates in bullying a child, they set a terrible example for the entire student body.

They send an obvious message that it’s okay to abuse and brutalize this particular kid. They signal to the rest of the class that it’s OK to demonize and dehumanize them. As a result, they strip them of their dignity.

So everyone else joins in, too, because they know it’s okay to destroy them. After all, they must “deserve it” if the teacher is doing it. Right?

And many of the teachers who do these damaging things to targeted kids? They either don’t know what they’re doing or don’t care. Either way, working with kids isn’t their forte.

Abuse is abuse. And some teachers abuse these kids in the name of “discipline.”

They warn other teachers about the targeted student.

Bully teachers are notorious for gossiping about targeted kids. They share and swap rumors and horror stories about these children and warn other educators about them.

Therefore, they set these poor children up for more bullying before others get the chance to know them. Often, they do these things right in front of the poor child to crush their spirit.

Sometimes, teachers will circulate vicious rumors, defamation, and opinions throughout the entire community. Moreover, they even share confidential information about the child.

Even worse, they will also spread speculation about the kid’s parents and attack their parenting skills. This happens more today than ever.

Is it any wonder that many people view the public school system so negatively?

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

When adults bully, bullying is difficult to stop.

There’s no way to stop the soul-crushing, mob-style bullying of a kid when the adults do it. These are those who should know better and be there to protect the young victim. However, they are committing the same abuse as the other classmates.

There have been countless occurrences and testimonies of bullying parents, mobbing and bullying other parents, teachers, and, yes, children and teens too.

Others overhear teachers maliciously and viciously gossiping about targeted kids. They hear it in the hallway between classes and in staff bathrooms.

And the other kids, who overhear these adults, use it to escalate their bullying. Why? Think about it. If an adult is bullying a kid, it must mean it’s acceptable.

The best we can do is to educate the teachers and staff. They do not realize the harm they cause these children.

As for the handful of teachers who don’t care and continue their bullying, they cannot be helped. It’s best to get them out of the school system and away from our young altogether. And the sooner we do, the safer they will be.

School Staff do not Give Bullied Kids any due process.

This is because they label victims of mobbing and bullying. They label them as “trouble,” “difficult,” or “problem child.”

It sets the targeted kid up to be discriminated against by their school. Why?  When adults show prejudice against a particular student, it creates a hostile and dangerous environment.

In these situations, the victim is only bullied further. And school staff don’t give them the same due process as their classmates.

As a result, the school staff ends up empowering the bullies. Even worse, they end up encouraging other bullies to bully that child.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

Victims may act out due to prolonged bullying and THE resulting stress.

Let’s face it, no one can withstand the intense pressure of bullying and mobbing for long. A person can only be pushed so far. If you kick a dog long enough, it will bite you eventually.

When classmates bully and mob a target, they force them to submit to horrendous and downright grotesque abuse.  This kind of bullying is unfathomable to most adults.

The message victims receive from others is just to “shut up and take it.” In fact, when you suffer school bullying and mobbing, your world becomes quite Kafkaesque. Even you have a hard time believing what you’re experiencing.

So, is it any wonder that no one else can believe it either? The questions, “What the hell?” and “Is this really happening?” come to mind.  You feel as if you’ve stepped into the twilight zone.

This is because being mobbed is the feeling of being crushed by nonsensical, bizarre, and blind abuse.

Even worse, They are powerless to understand or control what is happening.

The victim suffers mistreatment, isolation, exclusion, and yes, even brutal physical beatings. Therefore, he’ll be too afraid to plead for help. Why? Because they know that the school staff will ignore their cries for help.

And, do you know what’s more frightening? It’s that the bullies will retaliate against them for daring to speak up.

Eventually, the victim snaps and misbehaves due to long-lasting and extreme stress. And school staff will ignore the bullying they suffer. However, they won’t ignore the victim’s reactions to it.

Therefore, they will only re-victimize them.

In other words, teachers and principals punish the victim for their reaction. They don’t bother addressing the bullying that caused it.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

example 1:

Everyone in class bullies a particular girl. The teacher either doesn’t see it or thinks the girl deserves it.

Maybe the teacher thinks bullying is just a rite of passage that builds character. During one occasion, the bully sitting behind the targeted girl pulls her hair.

The victim then gets fed up with being mistreated. Unable to tolerate any more abuse, she turns around and punches the bully who pulled her hair.

Now the teacher, very conveniently, doesn’t see the other girl pull the target’s hair. However, she sees the victim turn around and punch her in the nose.

Therefore, the teacher punishes the victim without even considering what the other girl did to provoke her.

staff prevent the target from defending themselves.

The message the teacher sends is crystal clear. The target has no recourse. Therefore, the bully has carte blanche to continue bullying them.

So, this exact scenario repeats itself a few times. And, before long, the victim has a bad name with the staff. That’s when everyone becomes very suspicious of her.

The principal catches the target in the hall between classes. He tells her, aloud, in front of the other classmates, that he is watching her. The other kids, especially the bullies, overhear the principal.

As a result, bullies take it as a green light to continue their abuse. And why not? They know the victim will be blamed. Not them.

Examples of a Teacher Bullying a Student:

After all, who’s going to believe the “problem child?”

So, the staff continues to harangue the target. They make their situation much worse than it needs to be. And, do you know how they justify it? They do it by claiming to want to protect the other kids who fit into what is “normal” and obey the rules.

Therefore, they use that to defend their emotional abuse of the target. It’s all an excuse for their singling them out for humiliation in front of God and everyone.

And this is why most bullying teachers get away with it. And know that these teachers also bully other teachers, not just the pupils.

Understand that, when this occurs, the school is willingly participating in destroying another human being. Therefore, it’s imperative that targeted kids and teens hold on to their sense of self, pride, and confidence.

And we must teach them how. Teach them hold on to those treasures with everything they have. It’s the only way they will graduate with their mental health intact.

It’s also crucial that parents and grandparents teach them to believe in themselves. And to hang on to that self-belief even when no one else believes in them.

Also, they must teach them to know their worth even when others don’t. They must teach them to love and respect themselves even when everyone hates them.

Why? Because it is during the most difficult times that they need these virtues the most.

Here is a list of examples of a teacher bullying a student.

  • Ignoring them when they have a question in class.
  • Humiliating them in front of class.
  • Denying them due process.
  • Ignoring them when they report bullying.
  • Spreading rumors about them to other teachers.
  • Punishing them for things that others get away with.
  • Giving them lower grades and marks, even for excellent assignments.
  • A rash of disparaging remarks on report cards.
  • Saying bad things about the pupil’s parents and their parenting skills.
  • Allowing others to mistreat them.
  • Joining in when classmates bully them.

This post was all about the examples of a teacher bullying a student so that you will easily recognize it if it happens to you or your children.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying by Teachers in School: 7 Steps to Protect Yourself

2. Bullying by Teachers: 15 Proven Signs a Teacher is Bullying You

3. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

4. Why Do Schools Protect Bullies? 5 Common Reasons

5. Teachers Bullying Teachers: When a Teacher is the Victim