Category: bullies

nosy bullies at school

Nosy Bullies: 11 Reasons Bullies Pry into Your Private Business

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‘Want to know all about nosy bullies? Here are all the reasons bullies keep their noses stuck in your business.

nosy bullies

When you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will watch you closely, clocking every move you make. Bullies love to stick their big noses into your business. For people who hate the very air you breathe, they seem awful interested in the details of your life.

Have you ever wondered why?

In this post, you will learn all about nosy bullies and why they pry into your business so that you will gather the courage to tell these snoops to mind their own damn business.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be able to better defend yourself against these types of bullies and preserve your privacy.

This post is all about nosy bullies to give you a peek into their minds and use the information to protect your precious privacy.

Nosy Bullies

If you’re a victim of bullying, you’ve probably wondered why your bullies can’t keep their big, fat noses out of your personal life.

You have the nosy classmate who’s never short of personal and intimate questions about your private life. Maybe, you’re having problems with the  workplace gossip who never shuts up and always seems to know your business before you do.

Or, you know the spying neighbor across the street who forever peers through her window to spy on the neighbors outside.

Whoever they are, they’re bullying the crap out of you. Moreover, these kinds of bullies can be a real hemorrhoid when you want to be left alone and live your life in peace.

Here are all the reasons your bullies can’t stop spying on you. Moreover, they’re the same reasons your bullies ask you such personal questions.

1. Your bullies want to get information they can use against you later.

Most nosy people are, in fact, gossips, busybodies and buttinskies.

A nosy bully may ask you how much you get paid every week.  I know. The nerve! Right? However, you must know why they ask you this question.

They’re trying to gauge whether they should feel jealous of you or better than you. For instance, if your income is low, than they can feel better than you and use the information to ridicule you.

If your income is high, they’ll be jealous of you and talk smack about you just to bring you down a few notches.

Therefore, if someone asks you such personal questions, politely tell them that they’re getting too personal. Let them know in no uncertain terms that you don’t share such private information with anyone.

Then walk away and never have anything to do with this person.

2. Nosy Bullies:

They personally want to see you mess up.

Bullies will watch you closely, waiting with bated breath, for you to screw up somehow. Moreover, they’ll listen in on your conversations, hoping you’ll say the wrong things.

We all make blunders every now and them. You will too, eventually. And your bullies will be right there to pick it up and use your gaffe against you.

Realize that bullies love to see you goof because it gives them the ammo they need to ridicule you with.

3. To see who you associate with.

If you’re a victim of bullying, your bullies will want to know who you associate with. Why? Because they want to know who to turn against you.

Think about it. A salesperson must know who his target audience is. It’s the same with bullies. They need to know who to target with their smear campaigns against you.

4. For gossip.

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. The purpose of gossip is to control your status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.

Another purpose is to justify bullying you by convincing others that you don’t deserve respect.

Also, it tightens group connections. And it gives higher status to the people who are privy to the negative information. Moreover, it sets expectations in the group as to how they should treat you.

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social infrastructures. Gossip promotes unity and shared enmity. With the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility.

Therefore, it gives bullies a way to feel better about abusing you. Why? Because they can say that you deserve it and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Your bullies may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask others to inform them of any new information and updates about you.

Realize that gossip provides bullies reaffirmations that they’re right about you.

5. Nosy Bullies:

They want to find your weaknesses.

You can’t find your enemy’s vulnerabilities unless you get information on them. Therefore, this is another reason your bullies ask personal questions and watch you closely.

Once they find your weak spots, they can easily weaponize them.

6. For future blackmail (leverage).

If your bullies want to make you do something you don’t want to do, they can use anything negative information they find.

For instance, you’re a successful businessman who has to travel frequently. During one of your out of town trips, you cheated on your wife a few years ago.

She still doesn’t know about it. However, your bullies catch wind of it. Later, they decide they want to make you do something that’s against the best interests of you and your business.

Therefore, they threaten to tell your wife all about it if you don’t do what they want you to do.

7. To humiliate you.

Your bullies will ask you some of the most embarrassing questions.

  • “Have you started your period yet?”
  • “Are you a virgin?”
  • “How is your boyfriend in bed?”

The audacity of them will leave you scratching your head because you just can’t believe that anyone would have the chutzpah. Especially if you were raised to mind your own business

Moreover, these kinds of questions will make you cringe! They might even upset you. You may tell them to get a life or just storm off without saying anything to them.

However, the best way to handle these people is to  laugh, make fun of and humiliate them. And enjoy it.

I guarantee you that if you handle it like this, your bullies will never do it again!

8. Nosy Bullies:

For revenge.

Bullies often want to get back at you because they feel you slighted them somehow in the past. Therefore, they’ll dig for any dirt they can find about you.

And, once they find it, they will spread it around just to teach you a lesson.

9. To sow discord between you and others.

Nosy bullies love sowing discord among other people. They just can’t seem to get enough drama. In fact, they thrive on it.

These individuals always have their ear cocked, listening in on your conversations with others. They listen specifically for anything you might say about someone else.

Why? So they can go back to the person you’re talking about and tell them what you’re saying about them.

In fact, what you say may be innocent enough. You may be legitimately concerned about Kathy’s health and may be talking to mutual friends of you both. And these friends may be equally concerned.

However, once your bullies overhear all of you talking, they’ll go back to Kathy and tell her only the parts that suit them. In other words, they’ll twist the story to make it look like you and the rest of her friends have evil intentions behind it.

And before you know it, all hell breaks loose.

Bullies get a kick out of watching others tear each other down. The more they stir shit, the more it stinks. And the more it stinks, the better they smell.

Therefore, the next time someone tries to turn you against a friend, ask yourself who the division would benefit most. You, your friend or the instigator?

Also., you can ask the same question if someone tries to turn a friend against you.

10. Nosy Bullies:

For cheap thrills.

Bullies may ask you personal questions because they know that you don’t know any better. This often happens to victims who are on the Autism spectrum.

Evil creeps ask them embarrassing questions because anyone with ASD likely doesn’t realize they’re humiliating. Therefore, when they answer innocently, the bullies get to watch the person unknowing humiliate themself.

The bullies then get their fun out of it, laughing and ridiculing the person.

11. Just to have power over you.

Make no mistake! Any time, a nosy person searches for intimate details about your life, the end goal is power and control!

In other words, their having a constant nose stuck in your private business can be a form of attempted control.

Why? Because they can’t seem to control their own lives. Therefore, they wish to control yours. And they do it for nothing more than to cause an annoyance or embarrassment.

Even in the adult world, you’re going to have people who have more nerve than a bad tooth. In other words, there will be those who will pry into your business and openly ask you embarrassing questions.

Therefore, you might as well prepare for it now. Why? Because these kids of creeps are everywhere!

How can nosy bullies be so brazen with their questions?

When these idiots ask you such personal questions, they may shock the living crap out of you. After all, you’re the type who knows that asking such questions is shameful.

Here’s why some people have no shame in their intrusiveness.

Most of them are raised in nosy families.

In other words, many of these people had parents who were the same way. They had mothers and grandmothers who would tell them to watch others and report back to them.

I know this because, years ago, I had a next door neighbor who was the same way. We all nicknamed her, “Mrs. I-Spy.”

This woman would sit on her front porch and watch who came in and out of the other neighbors’ houses. She would even have her ten-year-old granddaughter watch everyone, then report back to her.

Therefore, nosiness is generational and tends to run in families.

How do nosy bullies get you to talk?

They Air their dirty laundry to get you to air yours.

Beware the big mouth who airs their dirty laundry.

If you’re a target of bullying, another type of person you should be aware of is the big mouth. These people give you their own personal details, hoping that you’ll give them some of yours.

However, be forewarned! If they tell their private business, they’ll tell yours too.

Here are the red flag topics they talk about.

  •  Their messy home life.
  • A philandering husband.
  • Their lazy wife who keeps a nasty house.
  • Unruly and disrespectful kids they might have.
  • Getting toilet-hugging drunk at a bar.
  • Intimate details about their sex life (Yikes!).
  • Details about their bodily functions (Yuck! Gross! Barf!).

Again, if they will trumpet embarrassing details about their own lives, you can bet dollars to doughnuts they’ll talk about yours. Therefore, keep your private business to yourself!

Any personal details about themselves that make you want to “call Ralph,” should especially make you want to run for your life!

Therefore, avoid these people at all costs. Not only will they embarrass the crap out of you, but they’ll dig for information about you that’s equally humiliating.

In Closing

Those who are nosy are usually toxic people.

Be aware that your bullies may not be so blatant with their personal questions. Many may be subtle and you might mistake it for curiosity instead of nosiness.

Nevertheless, realize that anybody who openly asks you such personal questions about your life has no respect for you. Therefore, politely end the conversation, and excuse yourself.

In fact, you should wave these morons away like that pesky little fly that keeps buzzing around your face.

And you don’t have to get angry with them. Just shake your head and pity them. Because it’s those types who really need to get a life.

Or, if you’re a smart-ass like I am, take the opportunity to have a little fun with them. Just catch it, throw it back at them and shame them with it. And why not? They asked for it.

This post was all about nosy bullies, their shameful questions, and why they ask them so that you know what to look for and how to respond.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Curiosity vs Nosiness: 3 Must-Know Differences to Learn

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

3. 25 Signs of a Toxic Person

why do bullies get away with bullying at work

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying? 15 Must-Know Answers

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Why do bullies get away with bullying? ‘Want all the answers to this question? Here are all the answers you’ve been searching for.

why do bullies get away with bullying

Most bullies get away with their behavior and it’s a fact we all need to face. They have a knack with escaping accountability and making you look like the bad guy.

Therefore, in this post, you will get all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying.”

Once you learn all about these important details, you will be better able to outflank your bullies when they try to lay the blame on you.

This post will give you all the answers to the frequently asked question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying,” so that you can use this information to your advantage.

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Every victim has at some point asked either themselves or another person these questions.

  • “Why am I always to blame?”
  • “Why do my tormentors always get away with abusing me?”
  • “Why do bullies get away with bullying?”

Here are the answers, and there are many.

1. Bullies are notorious suck-ups.

They have a knack for appealing to those in authority and winning them over to their side. Understand that these types of people are very convincing liars. They use charm and allure to disarm anyone in authority.

Also, most people in authority love it when people suck up to them. And bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, they will eagerly kiss ass if it gets them what they want.

 Because they kiss the right butts, supervisors, managers, and HR are more likely to overlook their rotten behavior. They also tend to thumb rides on others’ coattails.

Moreover, in school, bullies often suck up to teachers, principals, and school officials.

Sucking up is one of the reasons they gain power.

2. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re High Performers and scholars.

Many school bullies also impress school staff with academic excellence and being stars of the sports teams. In that, they make the school look good.

Therefore, the school is less likely to punish them. Instead, they’ll accuse you of picking on them.

3. They know people in high places.

Add that to their parents having connections with town and city big-shots, and they have the freedom to bully at will.

Why? Because people will be too afraid to hold them responsible for anything. They fear that their big connections just might come after them.

4. Bullies are convincing liars.

They’ve been lying and covering up bad behavior all of their lives. They have been doing this for long enough that they have learned what works and what doesn’t.

Therefore, they are master manipulators who have great skill in the arts of deception.
You must realize that these types are also very good at rationalizing and justifying their unacceptable behavior.

They are wordsmiths and con artists, who often use charm to deceive those in authority.

5. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re masters at projection.

In other words, they project all their faults and shortcomings onto their victims. In doing this, they successfully reverse the roles, making you look like the bully and themselves the victim.

Anytime these abusers face possible accountability for their evil actions, they often cry those crocodile tears to feign victim-hood. This tactic is usually employed by females.

6. They’re charming to the right people.

Consequently, they can use this as another weapon against a victim. Bullies seem to emit an oozing charm. Nevertheless, they have a way of winning people over and making them their allies.

“How are these people able to use their good reputations as weapons?” You may wonder. Here’s a simple explanation.

When the bully has a good name among the majority, it’s much easier for her to fool everyone except you. Others find it hard to believe that “this sweet, innocent, pretty little girl” would harm anyone.

Moreover, take a look at the outgoing guy that everyone loves. No one is going to believe that this “fine young man” would ever beat up a smaller boy unless he was provoked.

7. Because they have so many friends who cherish them.

And the sad reality is this. Even if the bully’s friends did witness them attack you, their loyalty will override their sense of right and wrong. Therefore, these friends will lie for them to hide their bad behavior and place the blame on you.

8. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

There is strength in numbers.

Unfortunately, most bullies have a large number of friends behind them. And people in large numbers wield a cumulative power that can be overwhelming for victims.

In other words, if enough people actively hate a certain person, that person is powerless, no matter how strong, smart, beautiful, or easy-going they may be.

9. They use gaslighting to keep you silent.

They’re good at placing the blame on you to make you feel like you did something wrong by defending yourself. Bullies may also lay guilt trips or hurl insults at you.

Also, they try to convince you that it’s your own fault or that the abuse is just your imagination.
Bullies are masters at this, especially females who use feminine charm to deceive bystanders and authority figures.

They will deny their abuse and trivialize everything you are experiencing. “Don’t believe your eyes, ears, nor how you feel. You’re too sensitive.”

And the most effective tactic is to make you look like you have a mental imbalance. Why? Because the tough reality is that there’s nothing that will discredit you more than the mental illness label.

10. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They malign you to destroy your reputation.

They’ll recruit followers and start a campaign of hate and viciousness against you. They will spread rumors and lies about you to turn everyone against you.

Moreover, they’ll even turn your friends against you if they can.

It happens in school, the workplace, and in communities. Many times, this is how bad people retaliate against victims who have the gall to stand up to them.

Bullies hate it when you refuse to take their abuse.

11. They appeal to the self-interests of the school or workplace.

For example, the bullies may excel academically or be stars of one of the school’s sports teams. You must realize that schools have a vested interest in their sports teams and want to win championships.

Why? Because it boosts the school’s image. Also, if the school has a low number of dropouts and high graduation rate, this also reflects highly on the school.

Schools also get recognition for cranking out college-bound graduates. This adds to a schools good reputation.

And if the school has a great reputation, the larger number of students in attendance. Moreover, more parents want their kids to go to this school.

Additionally, the more students a school has, the more federal and state funds they get.
Do you see where I’m going with this?

So, right or wrong, the school won’t take your word over those of its brightest stars and highest achievers.

I want you to realize that in most cases of bullying, it’s not about who’s right or wrong. It’s about which people have the most power.

Again, most care less about right and wrong. What they care about is power and how you can benefit them in some way, shape, or form.

“What’s in it for me?”

12. Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They’re good at victim-blaming.

Evil people will blame you to protect one another from accountability. Moreover, they do it to protect their reputations.

Here’s something to think about. Most students in school get into two, maybe three fights in their entire twelve years of school. This sounds perfectly normal.

However, too many fights and people will likely label you a troublemaker. Teachers and school staff will see you as a problem child. And this goes whether or not your harassers provoked you.

Destroying your name with the school lessens your chances any chances of anyone listening to you. Your abusers can’t have you running and snitching.

Therefore, they may hit you first just to provoke you to fight. As soon as you hit back in self-defense, the bully draws everyone’s attention to you. And they make it look like you started it.

No one sees them hit you first. But they conveniently catch the tail end of it, when you hit back. Understand that this is how bullies set the stage.

The do this to protect themselves from discipline at school or work. Whereas, you get a bad reputation. Thus, it gives them the freedom to bully you again later.

This is also meant to silence you and make you afraid to report them or speak out about the harassment.

When people give you a bad rap, people won’t believe you when you try to get help.

Bystanders and people in authority will only think,

  • “Why would so many kids have it in for her if she’s not provoking them somehow?”
  • “Nobody likes him, so there has to be a reason that justifies it.”
  • “She’s a lowlife, so she deserves it!”

Why do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.

People with bad reputations are the easiest to point the guilty finger at anytime a confrontation arises.

In other words, if people expect trouble to come from a certain place, that is where they’re going to look. Therefore, who’s going to look any further than the child with the worst reputation at school? Who’s going to look anywhere else other than the employee who isn’t a team player?

If you’re the one others suspect, the bullies get off scot-free.
Again, they provoke you to manipulate school staff and save their behinds from having to face repercussions.

Therefore, you don’t only need the confidence to fight bullying. You also need to know all about these types of people and how they operate.

The first step of defense is knowing the mindsets and intentions of bullies and the tactics they use.

13. Relationship is the determiner in many cases of bullying

Many times, if you’re a target of such torment, whether people believe you or not depends on their relationship with you and your abuser.

If the bully is someone they either like or love, they’ll act out of loyalty and take their word over yours. It won’t matter that the other person is in the wrong.

In fact, people may know the person is wrong. They may even witness the person’s bad behavior.

However, they’ll still may take that person’s side because that’s their friend or family member. Another possibility will be that they they dislike or may even hate them. But they dislike or hate you even more.

Therefore, they choose who they perceive to be the lesser of two evils. People tend to believe those they care about the most and disbelieve those they care about the least.

14. Why Do Bullies Get Away with Bullying?

They feign sympathy and compassion for you in front of others.

It’s not easy for people to distinguish between the real bully and the victim. Bad people are good at making you look guilty.

They show only you the worst, most brutal, and evil sides of themselves. And they do it all while showing everyone else their best, sweetest, and most loving halves of their personalities.

Fake sympathy and false compassion are powerful weapons for bullies!

They may tell others, “I feel so terrible for Jackie. I sincerely hope she gets the help she needs before it’s too late.”

These types of people very sweetly accuse their victims of attacking them when it’s the exact opposite. Therefore, they can easily confuse people, causing them to not know who did what to who. This is one reason it’s so easy to blame the wrong person.

15. They’re are in positions of power.

Anytime you’re up against people in powerful positions, it only multiplies an already bad situation. Why? Because people tend to listen to those in power.

Their positions alone give them credit, even if they haven’t earned it. Sadly, people tend to follow these types of people blindly.

My advice to you is this: It pays to have friends and connections. If you don’t have them, find ways of making them. Do it even if you must establish those connections outside of the toxic workplace or learning environment.

Friends may not be able to help you with your situation in the toxic environment. But what they can do is help you feel better about yourself. Moreover, you won’t feel alone.

Also, establishing connections and relationships now may pay off in the long run. Why? Because if people target you at your job, chances are you won’t be working there for much longer.

And maybe your outside friends and connections just may work at your next job. Therefore, life will be much easier there. And you’re least likely to get blamed if you suffer bullying.

This post gave you all the answers to the question, “Why do bullies get away with bullying” so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to not only feel better, but use to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

2. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

3. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

How to Deal with Bullies: 7 Do’s and Don’ts You Need to Know

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‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.

how to deal with bullies

Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.

This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.

How to Deal with Bullies

In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.

The Don’ts:

1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.

Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.

Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.

In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.

So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?

Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.

And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.

Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.

Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.

To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!

I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.

They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.

Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.

Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”

Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.

2. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t give them any apology. Ever!

For anything!

Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Don’t explain anything to them.

When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.

Know that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.

Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.

Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!

How to Deal with Bullies:

Do’s

1. Do stand up to them.

You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.

Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.

In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!

For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!

2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.

Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.

Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.

Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.

And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.

3. How to Deal with Bullies:

Report the bullying to authorities.

Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.

If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.

And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.

This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.

Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.

However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.

This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.

But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!

In Closing:

There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!

This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying

2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It

3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them

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‘Want to know how to protect yourself from people with negative energy? Here’s all the life-changing information you need to know about.

people with negative energy

You can feel the energy others around you put out, especially if it’s bad energy. Negative energy is contagious and those with it can decide whether we have a bad day or a good day. Thankfully, there are ways you can shield yourself from them.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about people with negative energy and how to protect your own energy from their toxicity.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to avoid toxic people and the bad energy they put out.

This post is all about people with negative energy and how to avoid letting them suck you into their doldrums.

People with Negative Energy

These kinds of people are everywhere. They’re in our workplaces, schools, churches and neighborhoods. Sadly, they can even live in our homes. Here’s how you avoid such people and keep them from dogging your mood and killing your vibe.

1. Pay Close Attention to Others’ Energy

I’ll start with a personal story. During the six years I endured bullying, I would put up on the vibes of most others at school.

The energy of most of my classmates and a few teachers was bad. However, being a teenager, I knew squat about psychic energy and vibrations.

Back then, no one ever talked about those things. Also, there weren’t many books written on the subject. Not like there are today.

You only heard and read about that gut feeling. Another name for it was the sixth sense. It is this instinct that is triggered by the energy or vibrations the people around us put out.

When I would pick up on the yucky energy my classmates exuded, I would mistake my gut feeling for being overly suspicious. That little voice inside my head would admonish me. It would tell me, “Aw, C’mon! You don’t know that person. Give them a chance.”

Therefore, I would give into that voice. I caved in and gave people chances. However, I ended up paying dearly for it.

Always pay attention to the energy others put out. If a person puts out bad energy, you will feel it in your gut. So, don’t ignore it! Get away from them fast!

2. People with Negative Energy:

Trust your gut instinct.

Self-doubt is a tricky animal. It convinces you to go against your God-given instincts. So, you ignore your innate gut feeling.

In that, you ignore the bad energy you feel when you’re around unsavory people. That’s when you open the door and let evil and nefarious people walk into your life.

If you ignore your gut long enough, you eventually lose the ability to recognize bad energy when you feel it.

‘You see? The ability to pick up on energy is like your muscles. You must exercise it to make it stronger. In other words, if you don’t use it, you lose it!

Your God-given gut instinct is the last thing that you want to atrophy. In this mixed-up world, you cannot afford for it to weaken.

Therefore, trust your gut. Especially if you are a target of bullying! Moreover, never allow others to convince you that you’re a mental case for following your intuition.

If ever you pick up bad energy from the people around you, you must get away from them, if possible. So, don’t walk. Run!

Minding your Own Energy Output

Just the same, you should mind your own energy. Bullies are experts at picking up on other’s energy and they trust their instincts.

In fact, they never even question them. Why do you think bullies are able to weed through large crowds and pick out potential targets with such accuracy?

For example, if you’re a self-conscious and nervous person, you will put out that kind of energy. If you have low self-esteem, your energy will match that.

Therefore, bullies will pick up on it. And, make no mistake, they’ll milk it for all it’s worth!

If nothing else, understand this. Energy never lies! Vibrations never lie! You may be able to talk a good game and be a fine actor. However, people will sense that you’re faking it.

Why? Because your energy will give you away every time!

That’s why it’s so important that you exude confident energy. This is not to say that you still won’t become a target of bullies. However, you will greatly lesson your chances of it.

Know that you have more control over your energy than you realize.

People with Negative Energy:

So, how do you control your energy?

You have the ability to control your emotions and moods. But! How do you do it? Here are several ways.

Listen to positive music

This means opting for upbeat dance music instead of emo rock. You should also listen to songs about dancing or about celebrating and having a good time.

Never listen to songs about negative things. These songs include those about being cheated on by a lover. Songs about violence and ones that bash women are also no-nos.

Also, don’t listen to those about suicide or murder. Remember. You want to listen to songs that uplift your mood, not those that bring you down.

Positive affirmations

Make positive affirmations. This means making positive “I am” statements. Moreover, remind yourself, every day, of your strengths and good qualities only. And do it loudly.

Even if you must look at yourself in the mirror while making these statements. Do it.

Watch a good comedy but no dark comedies.

Watch one that is fun. Do this to make yourself laugh because laughter always drives away a crappy mood.

People with Negative Energy:

Surround yourself with positive people who lift you up.

That means staying away from bullies and abusers, people who complain, put you down, or bring you drama. Stay away from anyone who puts you in a foul mood.

Exercise!

Not only is it healthy, but it releases endorphins and makes you feel accomplished.

Focus on everything positive. It won’t be easy and may even feel unnatural at first. However, keep it up and it will get easier with time.

It will begin to feel like second nature once you’ve practiced it long enough.

Remember that energy never lies. You must pay attention to the energy of the people around us and trust your instincts. Moreover, you must also make sure that you, yourself, are putting out positive energy.

3. Listen to Your Gut instinct.

At times in your life, you’ll meet and be around certain people. Your inner alarm will warn you about them.

You may not be able to explain the feeling you get. The only way to describe that gut feeling is that you’ll sense that something is “off” about the people around you.

and I would get a sinking, creepy feeling in the pit of my stomach. I could literally feel the bad vibes that seemed to pour fourth from these people.

However, when you’re young, you’ll often mistake this feeling for paranoia and ignore it. This is something that a whopping majority of bullying victims do.

And it’ll prove to be to your disappointment every time! But if you listen to your gut and avoid these people, you’ll save yourself a truckload of heartache.

God gave you your gut instinct for a reason. Anytime you get a bad feeling in your gut about someone, you’re picking up on their energy.

Moreover, if you pay close attention to it, you’ll know when someone means you no good. And you’ll know when someone is about to hurt you.

4. People with Negative Energy:

Let your instinct guide you.

If you listen to your instincts, you’ll be able to make good choices. On the other hand, you’ll only make poor decisions if you ignore it.

Moreover, you’ll become a very mean and vicious person just to keep people away. As a result, you just might repel the people who have your best interests at heart.

You’ll run off genuine people who would otherwise become your friends. And you’ll miss out on opportunities for friendship.

Why? Because you’ll get to where you won’t trust anyone.

If you don’t trust yourself, you won’t trust anyone else either.

Trusting your gut feeling means trusting yourself. Period.

Lack of trust comes from not knowing how to listen to and trust your gut. Therefore, you think it’s much safer to put up a barrier and keep everyone out.

I realize how scary it is to begin relying on your feelings. Being bullied can very easily cause you not to believe in yourself and your own abilities.

Also, it can enable you to trust your own innate intuition if you let it. As a result, bullies will completely zap you of your sense of who is for real and who is fake.

Bullying causes you to lose your ability to avoid dangerous people. Why? Because they brainwash you into ignoring what you feel.

People with negative energy:

Your Gut Feeling is never wrong.

It helps you identify people with negative energy. In fact, you’ll feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. Therefore, always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong.

And, anyone something about another person feels bad, get rid of them!

Don’t ignore your gut feeling. Never overlook that sinking feeling in your stomach because it could save you from so much trouble. It could even save your life!

Realize that you have more power than you think. It’s up to you to listen to what your gut is trying to tell you and act on it.

No one else can do it for you. You owe it to yourself to avoid anyone who gives you a creepy vibe.

This post is all about how to pick up on people with negative energy so that you can protect yourself from trouble down the road.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You

2. 10 Signs of a Toxic Friendship (And How to Cut Ties)

3. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators

outsmarting bullies at work

Outsmarting Bullies: 3 Clever Ways that Expose Them

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‘Want to know all about outsmarting bullies so you can expose them in less obvious ways? Here are all the details you need to know about.

outsmarting bullies

You can outsmart a bully. However, sometimes, you must think outside the box and get creative to do it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways of outsmarting bullies so that you can expose them without looking like you’re exposing them.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to draw your bullies out in the open and protect yourself from them.

Outsmarting Bullies

Sometimes, you must outfox them by drawing them out in the open. For instance, many bullies will pretend to be your friend just so they can get close enough to subtly attack you.

Let’s explain further.

1. To Draw Fake People Out into the Open, Make yourself Appear Weak and Powerless.

You may think you know all the people in our lives, especially those closest to you. However, most people aren’t who they make you think they are.

Therefore, in life, there will be fakers and imposter. There will be people who will infiltrate your inner circle and pretend to be your friends.

These people will latch onto you like a tick to a dog. Then, they’ll get close enough to you to figure out everything about you.

They’ll find all your soft spots. In fact, they’ll ferret out your  intentions, the most intimate details of your life, goals, and dreams.

Once they have all these thing about you, they’ll will work behind the scenes to sabotage and crush you.

But what if I told you that there is a clever way to draw all those rogues out? Moreover, what if I told you that it won’t be an easy thing to do?

In fact, it just might be the hardest thing to do. Why? Because it requires unshakeable confidence and self-belief.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Drawing  an enemy out requires unshakeable confidence.

What do I mean by this? Here it is.

Sometimes, you must play the loser and appear weak to make the people around you feel safe. Only then can you draw them out and trick them into removing their fake husks.

This is what you do anytime you have any shred of doubt about a person in your life.

‘You see? When people feel untouchable, they become brazen, and that is when you see their true nature. Therefore, to make them feel untouchable, you must give them the impression that they’ve already won.

I won’t kid you. This will be hard to do because it will feel like a huge blow to your pride. You’ll be ridiculed, people will gloat, and it won’t feel good at all.

In fact, it’ll feel terrible, even humiliating at times.

This is something most people wouldn’t dream of doing because, as I just mentioned, it’s downright terrifying. Nobody wants to know of any possibility that a long-trusted friend could turn out to be a snake. I get that.

It feels so much safer to live in denial and act as if everything is peachy king. Also, no one wants to look weak. It feels better to appear strong even if you’re not.

It’s a blow to the ego when we’re defeated. Moreover, it feels bad when we aren’t defeated but appear that way to the rest of the world. However, trust me on this.

Outsmarting Bullies:

You never find out who people really are until you’re at your lowest point.

Only when you’re at your lowest do you find out who’s really in your corner.

So, again, if you can make everyone think that you’ve been knocked on your tookus, you’ll be surprised at the snakes who shed their skins and reveal themselves. Moreover, some will be people you’d never expect.

And you don’t realize who your enemies are until the shit hits the fan.

Any time you appear at your weakest, not only will your enemies reveal themselves, they’ll be more emboldened to act against you. And when they do, they’ll do it openly!

Why will these people will be so open with their dirt? It’s because they’ll mistake you for being powerless to fight back.

However, realize that this is the only way you can get rid of all the dead weight. You do it by unmasking it first. After all, you must know who to get rid of before you can do this successfully.

Therefore, if you do this right, you can ensure your peace of mind in the future. In that, you can remove any obstacles to your progress and more easily achieve your goals.

More importantly, you can ensure a better future for yourself.

Therefore, any time you have doubts about a friend or two, make yourself appear weak and down and out. Then watch what they do.

It might not feel good at the time, but you’ll thank yourself later. Moreover, you’ll thank all the fakers for walking into your well-laid trap and showing you what lowlifes, they really are.

You’ll smile and hold your head high as you walk away and discard them into the trash heap of history.

2. Fake a surrender to bullies to trick them into leaving you alone.

Is there ever a time when you should surrender to a bully? The answer is yes! Or, at least, make it look like you’re surrendering to them!

In life, there are times when you should pick and choose our battles. In other words, you must decide when to fight back and when to leave well enough alone.

This is a must when your bullies are extremely powerful. Why? Because it isn’t smart to fight them and give them a chance to defeat you.

Sometimes real power comes with swallowing your pride and giving in to them first. When you do this, you’ll throw them off balance.

Moreover, you’ll enrage them because they were looking for a fight and they were so sure they’d get one. But they didn’t get it.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Don’t fight a battle you can’t win.

There’s no point in fighting an unwinnable battle. Showing weakness can be a strength if you know how to use it correctly.

When you make it look like you surrender, you give yourself time to recuperate and subtly torture and irritate your bullies.

You can sneakily sabotage your bullies in ways they’d never expect nor detect. You can get what you can out of the surrender, then fight later when your bullies aren’t so strong.

Believe it or not, bullies do eventually lose power.

Therefore, you don’t surrender because you give up. You do it to humor your bullies and lull them into a false sense of complacency. You do it to fool them into thinking they’ve won.

Understand that bullies continually try to show dominance and superiority. Therefore, if you make it look like you surrender to them, it’ll be so easy to trick them.

Being submissive to them for the time being satisfies them. Moreover, it makes them feel powerful. In this, the bullies become easier targets for a later countermove.

For example, You surrender, and the bullies let you walk away. But as you turn and walk away, you can cut a silent fart in their general direction.

And they won’t think it came from you. They’ll only be looking at each other and wondering who dealt it.

Silent ridicule works wonders for self-esteem!

3. Bait and trigger your bullies.

This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. In other words, play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited.

Get your bullies to react to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that it forces the bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking they’re controlling the situation.

However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm.

Calmness allows you to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

Outsmarting Bullies:

Lure your bullies to your territory or to neutral ground.

When you get your bullies to come for you, always get them on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get them on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive. Why? Because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. They won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

Make your bait so sweet that your bullies can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary. Do this especially if they’re so pissed off at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.”

Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are.

Moreover, the angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you. Also, the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose. And you’ll lead them right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

But do it with caution.

If you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, you’ve already won. To quote Sun Tsu, “Never interfere when an enemy is destroying themselves.”

Weaponize Your Bullies’ Triggers

The trick is to use your bullies’ tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

I know this isn’t a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Outsmarting Bullies:

So, how do you weaponize your bullies’ triggers?

1. Get them in public.

In other words, get them in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them.

Bait them into a reaction. Then stand back and watch with pleasure as the bully yells, screams, curses, and exposes themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others they have bullied (preferably people who’ve been fired or no longer have any contact with the bullies).

Then have them spread it all over social media. Give the bully the reputation they so deserve. Befriending others the bullies has harmed has a way of getting under their skin.

Bullies hate it when you talk to people they hate. Also, they especially hate it when all their victims unite and form a group!

This really ticks them off because, deep down, it intimidates them. Think about it, bullies always run in packs and they catch you when you’re alone.

However, when a group of target victims ban together, the bullies feel threatened. Why? Because they lose power.

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

This post is all about outsmarting bullies so that you can expose them for the creeps they are and, at the same time, protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

Set Your Own Standards: Never Conform to a Bully’s.

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‘Want to know how to set your own standards and how to keep from conforming to a bully’s standards? Here’s all the information you need to know about.

set your own standards

A bully’s standards are unachievable. No matter what you do, who you are, or what you have; bullies will always move the goalposts. So, what do you do?

In this post, you will learn why it’s always best to set your own standards. Also, you’ll learn to never try to live up to a bully’s standards.

Once you learn all about these facts, you will no longer waste your time and energy tying to reach your bullies’ cookie-cutter versions of perfection. Instead you will be confident in your own way of life.

This post is all about the reasons you should set your own standards so that you will be yourself and be confident about refusing to follow anyone else’s lead.

Set Your Own Standards

Bullies change the rules just to find something else to use against you. Bullies will even weaponize your best qualities.

Therefore, you should always be yourself, no matter how difficult it may be. Don’t change for anyone. Realize that anytime you conform to someone else’s standards, you only lower your own.

Don’t change the way you dress, your interests, etc.

Bullies will often make fun of the way you dress- even if you dress fashionably. Understand that with bullies, it’s not about the way you dress.

Moreover, it’s not about your hair, makeup, your attire, hobbies, favorite music, your family, or anything they make fun of. No!

‘Want to know what it’s about?

Its about power and control.

It’s about having the power to make you feel bad about yourself.  Also, it’s about taking away your confidence, your pride, your happiness, your health, peace of mind, everything that matters.

Therefore, don’t give them that power.

Set Your Own Standards:

Don’t change your personality.

We all have quirks. Therefore, never change your personality. Continue to be yourself.

Realize that anything you change to appease a bully today will be ridiculed tomorrow. Again, bullies have a desire to control you to get that ego boost they’re seeking.

So, understand that they get their kicks from making you jump through hoops to win their approval. And you know what?

You don’t need their approval.

Just continue to be yourself and calmly blow the bullies off. Eventually, they’ll get bored and find another target.

Only you know what you like and don’t like. Only you can know what feels right to you and what’s best for you.

Therefore, don’t sell yourself short by living up to someone else’s expectations. They don’t know you the way you do. Realize that you’re a separate person from them.

Always remember that.

When Bullies Move the Goalposts

Understand that bullies will always judge you and they will do it by default. In other words, they’ll judge you without provocation.

You won’t need to do, wear, or say anything wrong because they will dissect everything until they find something wrong. Moreover, just your mere presence alone will invoke their judgements and attacks.

But know this. The negative suggestions and personal attacks they hurl are strictly to control you. That’s right. They insult you to control you.

Realize that bullies want to make you think, feel, and act the way they want you to. Nothing more. Also, those judgements, insults, and personal attacks come from a place of entitlement.

Therefore, you must realize that your bullies will not be happy with you. And they won’t accept you, no matter what you do.

Any efforts to win their approval will be like pouring water into a sieve.

Set Your Own Standards:

Remember! It’s all About Control!

How many attempts to satisfy these bullies are you willing to make before you become exhausted? How long are you willing to shapeshift and bend yourself into a pretzel?

What’s it going to take before you realize that conforming and adapting to their standards of who you should be will never yield the desired results?

You’ll only end up disheartened in the end. Why? Because, just as you can never fill a sieve, you can never appease a bully.

So, stop wasting your time and energy. And stop sacrificing your happiness because these people aren’t worth the powder to blow them up.

When you don’t stand up for yourself, others will only see you as an easy person and lose respect for you. The amount of crap you put up with only determines how others treat you in the future.

In other words, you teach people how to treat you by what you do or don’t put up with. And when you conform to the standards of others, you only discard your own standards.

Be Yourself in Every Way!

Isn’t it time you lived up to your own? Isn’t it time you begin living life on your own terms instead of someone else’s?

Your choices, your likes, your preferences, your pleasures, and your happiness should never depend on the permission of another.

Therefore, you must always be yourself. This means that you must have your own opinions, likes, dislikes, and preferences.

Also, you must do the things you love most, no matter what others think. Be yourself in every way!

Set Your Own Standards:

Whose Life Are You Living? Yours or Theirs?

Uh-oh! Here they go again! It seems that every time you as much as blink, someone else has got their honker in your business.

They’re always telling you how you ought to do things. Always dictating how you should act! These creeps even tell you how you should live your life!

These chumps! They have the chutzpah to think they can make your decisions for you. But, let’s face it, the world is full of nosy people.

If you are a target of bullying, you will have others trying to invade your life. Your personal business, and your boundaries are fair game.

And let me tell you, when it seems that no one will let you lead your own life in peace, life can go from enjoyable to unbearable real quick. This is why you must be assertive in cases like this.

Understand that you can’t please everyone and you shouldn’t even try to.

You don’t mind because they don’t matter.

Put simply, the only ones you must live your life for is God, your family, your closest and most trusted friends, and yourself.

Too many people care what the wrong people think of them. The wrong people! In other words, bullies, toxic people and those they don’t like!

Realize that you aren’t living their life, you’re living yours. Therefore, you must make decisions that best fit the situations and circumstances surrounding your life.

Set Your Own Standards:

You must do what’s best for you, not what’s best for them!

You must do what’s best for you, not what’s best for them, or, rather, what others want you to do. Half the time, they don’t even know what they want nor what’s best for them.

So, how can they claim to know what’s best for you if they haven’t a clue what’s best for their own lives?

You must do what makes you healthier, what makes you feel good, and what makes you whole. You must do what fulfills you, not other people. Don’t worry about them.

It’s up to them to make their lives easier and pleasant. It’s not your responsibility. Just the same, it’s up to you to make your life better, it’s not their place to do it.

There will always be others who want to insert their two cents where it isn’t needed.  And they’ll be downright abusive about it. They’ll attempt to order you around or deride you over your life-decisions.

You must open your mouth and tell these creeps where to shove it.

There will be those who will try to run your life and you should be prepared for it. But know that when they do this, they’re stepping out of their place. And you have every right to tell them to go kick rocks.

The old, popular 1990’s idiom, “All up in your koolaid and don’t know the flavor” wasn’t coined for nothing. And the sad thing is that most people don’t bother to lend a hand but they’re real quick to point a finger.

Understand that we each have responsibility over our own lives. Therefore, stop trying to spare the feelings of those who insist on sticking their nose where it doesn’t belong.

Tell these people to keep their snouts out of your business. Your life is yours to lead, no one else’s. So, stop worrying about what others think and say of you.

They may not like the way you live or think, but that’s their problem, not yours. Your life and the life-choices you make are no one’s business but yours.

So, tell them to kiss your ass and take your power back!

This post is all about why you should set your own standards instead of conforming to a bully’s so that you can take back your power and your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

2. How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

3. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

hypocritical bullies at work

Hypocritical Bullies: Bullying and Hypocrisy Go Hand in Hand

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‘Want to know all about hypocritical bullies, what behaviors to look for and how to spot them? Here’s everything you need to know.

hypocritical bullies

Bullies really are hypocrites. They’re good at accusing you of the very bad deeds they do themselves. It’s funny, when you really think about it.

Therefore, in this post, you’ll learn all about hypocritical bullies and how to spot them so that you can point them out and avoid them to protect yourself from them.

Once you learn all about these red flags, you’ll know them just by watching them.

This post is all about hypocritical bullies so that you can spot them and beware of them.

Hypocritical bullies

Many Bullies Claim to be Christians

But are they really Christians? Are they, in fact, true Christians?

Sadly, many of your classmates or coworkers may have reputations as church-going people. They may go to church every Sunday. In fact, they may go every time the church doors open.

However, they may not act like Christians once they are away from the sanctuary. But, because of their reputations, they will get credibility they haven’t earned.

For example, at school, you may have group a girls who the teachers and principal dub as “the religious girls.” However, they’ll be just as nasty, if not worse, than the secular kids in the class.

This is not to say that all Christians are like this, because no, not all of them are. However, just as with any other religion, party, or group, there will always be wolves in sheep’s clothing among the flock.

Though over half of the people at work or school sit in a church pew on Sunday,  they’ll still bully you and a few others during the week. Moreover, if they aren’t necessarily bullies, they may join in with the bullies and mistreat you.

A few may not actively participate in the bullying but will stand back and watch the bullying. These people may either get entertainment from it, or pretend it isn’t happening. How Christian is that?

Just Because They Claim to be Christians Doesn’t Make it So.

These so-called Christian people may never bully you by cursing you out or beating you up. They’re too smart to make it that obvious.

However, they’ll sat back and snicker as they watch your bullies totally humiliate you. Also they’ll spiritually bully you.

For instance, they’ll tell you that you should, ”turn the other cheek.”  They’ll suggest that you submit to the bad treatment and if you don’t,  you’re going to hell.

Therefore, if this happens to you, ask them this. “What would you do if the shoe was on the other foot? Would you submit to it if it were happening to you?

Remember that the devil never comes in the form of a red man with horns and a pointy tail. He comes as an angel of light!

It’s bad enough when people who aren’t in the church target you for bullying. But when it’s those who claim to be Christians, it can be downright devastating.

Why? Because, just by virtue of being known as Christians, they will likely compel you to believe that you really are an evil person. Moreover, they’ll make you feel terrible about yourself.

Hypocritical bullies:

Judge Only by Actions, Not Affiliations.

If this ever happens to you, see them for who they really were- sanctimonious hypocrites.

Once you see your bullies exactly as they are, no amount of gaslighting will work on you. Any justification or rationalization of what they did will no longer have an effect on you.

Why? Because they’ll stand naked before you. And I thank the Lord for giving me this knowledge because it has given me so much confidence.

And confidence is freedom.

Again, none of us are perfect because we’re all human and humans sin every day. Christians are no exception to this. Moreover, I’ll be the first to admit that there were times and situations when I didn’t act very Christian.

I’m not afraid to own it. However, what I didn’t do was repeatedly use my faith as a weapon against someone who was already being horribly mistreated.

Anytime Christians use their faith to destroy another, they stoop to a special kind of evil and God will judge them the harshest.

I know for a fact that Jesus would have had my back. Also, He would have admonished them. And not only their persecution of a few others, but for their fake Christianity and sanctimony. Because true Christians will never use their faith and Christian platform to bully and destroy another human being.

Giving it a Name.

Therefore, if anyone claiming to be a person of God bullies you, they are not of God. There are names for people who use their faith to destroy your spirit. You can call them sanctimonious. Or you can look at them as hypocrites.

Knowing how to name these people is your power. It makes it so much easier for you to call it out. So, I urge you to see these people for who they are and name them accordingly.

They are not Christians. They’re only sanctimonious hypocrites.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Bullies Who Virtue Signal

Seasoned bullies are masters at virtue-signaling. In other words, they make themselves look like the angels they aren’t. Most bullies are expert virtue signalers.

 For example, I remember sitting in class, pregnant with my first child. I had also gotten married a few weeks before.

One of my bullies, we will call her Amy, told me I was still a sinner because I’d gotten pregnant before I had gotten married. Moreover, she made sure to blurt it out in front of everyone else.

However, what was funny was that she was one of those girls who slept around with every Tom, Dick, and Harry. Not that I ever judged her for it because what she did on the weekends was nobody’s business but hers.

However, I saw this for what it was. She was projecting. This is what saved my self-esteem.

Amy went on. She also told me that my child was a bastard and would be better off dead than to have me for a mother. The last thing she said was that I should never be allowed to get married nor have kids.

With that said, know this. Any time a bully publicly passes judgement on you, they only do it to feel like they’re better than you.

Moreover, they do it to fool themselves, you, and everyone else. They want everyone to think that they’re above you on the totem pole of morals and decency.

The reason Amy called out my “lack of virtue” was to try and prove to everyone else that she had it. However, although no one said a word, I think they all knew who she really was and what her attack was all about.

Sadly, we see the same from many people today.

Hypocritical Bullies:

If you know who you are, there’s no need to prove anything.

If you know yourself and you know that you aren’t the label of the day, be it a “whore”, a racist, a conspiracy theorist, or a nut job; there’s no need to prove it.

Moreover, you won’t feel you have to attack anyone else, pander, or virtue signal. There’s no need to prove something that’s already there.

When you truly know yourself, you won’t feel you have to prove anything to anyone. Trying to is too much work. It’s a waste of your time and energy. You do not have to show others you have something if it’s something you already have.

If you feel you must bend over backwards to prove something to the rest of the world, it’s a sign of insecurity or guilt.  Therefore, if your conscience is clear, don’t ever feel like you have anything to prove. You don’t.

There will be times when people accuse you of being the bully

Sadly, we now live in a culture of fruit-bats who are so quick to cry “bully” anytime you listen to your intuition.

This will happen especially if you don’t feel comfortable around a particular person. Understand that just because you prefer not to be around someone doesn’t necessarily make you a bully.

You may have legitimate and justifiable reasons for it. Let’s face it, we like who we like and we dislike who we dislike.

For instance, if the person creeps you out, it may be your gut warning you that the person is dangerous. And if you don’t feel safe around someone, it’s best to stay away from them.

Moreover, if the person is toxic and constantly dogs your mood, it’s natural to avoid this person. No sensible and healthy human being would want to be around such a person.

However, be prepared for a few clueless others to throw the label of “bully” in your face.

Know that, anytime you sense that something is “off” about a certain person, you have every right to ensure your own safety. You not only have a right, but an obligation to yourself to steer clear of them.

 You have a right to protect yourself from creeps, pedophiles, rapists, murderers, grifters, and other nefarious people.

Hypocritical Bullies:

Hypocrites send these unspoken messages:

  • “Safety and protection for us but not for you.”
  • “It’s bad when you do it but it’s okay when we do it!”

Therefore, don’t let these types of people confuse you. Realize that you don’t have to justify yourself to anyone! See this for what it is. You’re being held to a double standard.

You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone when you’re  trying to keep yourself safe. And if others unfairly criticize you for being uncomfortable around someone, then you should avoid them too.

Again, not wanting to be around someone isn’t bullying. You are not seeking to hurt them. You just want to keep yourself safe. It’s only bullying when you ignore someone for the sole purpose of harming them.

Parents Who Encourage Their Children to Bully Other People’s Children

Back in 2016, I saw a video, in which a young man was bullied by not only an adolescent girl but also her mother.

In the video, the young man is badly beaten by two, maybe three other boys, who were with the girl and her mother. They spotted the young man in a local park, stopped, and let the assailants out to attack him.

Also, by listening to the audio, I discovered that this mother was actually encouraging the bullies. She was cheering them on as they were viciously attacking him. Later, it was reported that the mother had been arrested.

Sadly, this was not the first video I’d seen of bullying involving a parent. I have watched many videos in the past twenty years…violent videos! Those in which the parent of the attacker actually egged on the altercation!

Hypocritical Bullies:

Adults who Bully Children

I have seen many news reports of parents arrested for attacking children on school buses, in city parks, and schoolyards for a perceived slight against their child.

Also, children and teens are also being cyber-bullied by not only their classroom bullies but the bullies’ parents as well. Just google the Megan Meier case and you will see how this precious child took her own life because she was being harassed online by not only her teenage bullies but by the mother of one of her bullies.

This type of behavior is horrible enough coming from young people but coming from parents, who should know better, it’s downright disgusting!

It amazes me how immature a good portion of today’s parents are. I have personally seen parents act as if they are still in high school. And it’s embarrassing, to say the least.

What embarrasses me the most is that the parents are of my generation!

These parents are no better than the bullies they are raising! They try to be their child’s BFF instead of being their parent. Most don’t teach good morals and values anymore. They don’t mind bullying other people’s children. However, they’re the first to holler when someone even ignores their little darling.

This is mostly the reason bullying is so prevalent today.

Why Some Parents Condone Bullying

Many parents encourage their child to bully other children because they have a deep-seated belief that being a bully is where it’s at. They think bullying is what it takes to move up the social hierarchy and be successful in life.

Also, they believe that keeping others down is key to being on top.

These parents believe that being popular and the toughest kid on the block is what life is all about. Also, I’ve seen parents who wanted to fight the bullied child’s parents because they spoke out.

Worse even, I’ve seen cases where the bully’s parents wanted to physically fight the young victim for daring to stand up to their bully child!

Again, the parents are mostly people in my age group and younger…thirties, forties, and fifties- old enough to have long ago known right from wrong!

Chance are that the parents were just as bad when they were in school. The bullying behaviors just passed from generation to generation.

Is it any wonder that bullying is so widespread?

One thing I cannot fathom is how an adult can insert themselves into kiddie confrontations. They bash the other child by calling them degrading names like they’re still in middle school. How do they resort to saw despicable acts and continue to keep a straight face?

How can people such as these bare to look in the mirror at themselves every day without turning ten shades of red? I just don’t get it. What is wrong with some of the parents of my generation?

Hypocritical Bullies:

Widespread bullying

Parents of this low caliber do not care about any other children than their own. They have no empathy whatsoever. In my opinion, people of this kind shouldn’t have children.

It’s sad that good, wholesome, strong parents are all but non-existent anymore. Those who actually love their child enough to call them out on bad behavior and enforce rules, are a dying breed.

Good parents are replaced by parents who encourage despicable behavior in their children. What will society and the world be like in another twenty years if we do not address this issue?

See these types of parents for who they are. They’re hypocritical bullies who don’t mind tormenting other people’s children. However, they’re the first to cry “bully” when others call their children out for bad behavior.

This post was all about hypocritical bullies, their behaviors, and how to spot them so that you can protect yourself from them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

2. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

5. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People

incivility vs bullying at work

Incivility vs Bullying

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Incivility vs bullying. ‘Want to know the difference between the two? Here are the many ways they differ.

incivility vs bullyingMany people mistake incivility for bullying.

In the post, you will learn the difference of incivility vs bullying. Also, you’ll learn how to tell which is which.

Once you learn all this important information, you will be better able to see the difference when they happen. Moreover, you will know how to respond more appropriately.

This post is all about incivility vs bullying. Also, it teaches you the patterns and behaviors to look for in each so that you can more accurately call it out.

Incivility vs Bullying

In life, you’ll deal with difficult people. You will meet many jerks who act rude and obnoxious. However, just because a person is rude doesn’t mean they’re bullies.

Everyone deals with incivility but not everyone gets bullied.

Incivility is a part of life. Bullying, on the other hand, is sick and twisted. Although a jerk’s behavior is hurtful and negative, it doesn’t mean they’re bullying you.

Therefore, when is hurtful behavior classified as bullying? How do we tell the difference between bullying and incivility?  Also, what is the difference between a jerk and a bully?

Before we go any further, let’s define bullying.

The Definition of Bullying

Bullying – an ongoing and deliberate misuse of power in relationships through repeated verbal, physical, and/or social behavior that intends to cause physical, social, and/or psychological harm. It can involve an individual or a group misusing their power, or perceived power, over one or more persons who feel unable to stop it from happening

(https://www.ncab.org.au/bullying-advice/bullying-for-parents/definition-of-bullying/)

Incivility vs Bullying:

The Misuse of the term “Bullying”

In today’s climate, people use the word, “bullying” too loosely. Moreover, they use it to describe situations that don’t fit its use.

In fact, many stick the label to anyone who says anything they don’t agree with. They often confuse bullying with anything someone says that they don’t like.

Therefore, we have a duty to give the proper definition of bullying. Moreover, we must learn to differentiate bullying from other forms of conflict.

All too often, people confuse bullying with:

  • Disagreements and truthful debates
  • Misunderstandings
  • Stubbornness
  • Incivility and jerky behavior

Sadly, bullying has become a blanket term. People use it to describe anyone who says or does anything they don’t like.

Sure. There are those who are jerks. However, it doesn’t necessarily make them bullies.

Therefore, when society sticks this label where it doesn’t belong, it deprives people of the right to have their own opinions. This is wrong.

So, what are the differences of incivility vs bullying?

1. Bullying Requires a target Victim. Incivility Doesn’t.

Bullying requires a target! In other words, bullies single out one person to abuse.

Anyone, at any age, can fall victim to bullying. Also, there is evidence that suggests that child and teen targets are more likely to grow up to be bullied, adults. A few don’t, but most do.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t need a target. The uncivil person just has a rotten attitude and the behavior is random. In other words, the person is just a jerk and their meanness is aimed at everyone.

All bullies, regardless of age, deep down at their core, are cowards! A jerk just doesn’t care. Period.

Again, bullying requires a target victim. Take the victim out of the equation and bullying ceases to exist. Incivility, on the other hand, has no particular target person. An uncivil person is mean to anyone.

In other words, bullies target you specifically. People who are uncivil treat everyone like dirt, not just you.

2. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a pattern. Incivility Isn’t.

As mentioned in the last section, bullying is a pattern. It repeats itself over and over. Incivility, on the other hand, is sporadic.

In other words, bullies repeat the behavior against you. There’s a reason why bullies repeat their behavior. It’s to tear down your confidence and make you doubt your worth.

The repeated attacks serve to brainwash you and convince you that you have no value. Think about it. Tyrannical governments also brainwash their target people with repeated attacks.

Therefore, there’s a reason for the repetition. Repeat a lie often enough and it becomes the truth. Repeat a behavior often enough and it becomes normalized. Bullying operates the same exact way.

On the other hand, Incivility isn’t repeated, especially against the same person. Again, jerks  direct their vicious attitudes toward all kinds of people.

3. Bullying Lasts a Long Period of Time.

  Not only do bullies repeat their attacks against the same individual or group. They also do it over a long period of time (usually from 3 weeks to several years). Therefore, it is relentless.

Bullying is long-term because it takes time to take the desired effect on the victim. In other words, targets of bullying don’t break down overnight. The breakdown is almost always a cumulative result of bullying.

Incivility, on the other hand, doesn’t last long at all. In fact, it only requires a one-time occurrence.

For example, you’re driving and you accidentally pull in front of someone.

They lay on the horn and scream, “Watch where the hell you’re going you moron!” That’s not bullying. It’s incivility.

4. Incivility vs Bullying:

Bullying is a Campaign with a goal. Incivility Has No Particular Goal.

Bullies often persuade others, even total strangers, to join in on tormenting you. They go around defaming you to anyone who’ll listen.

They do this to isolate you by lessening your chances of making new friends and destroying your existing relationships.

The goal of bullying is to isolate, demoralize, and destroy the target victim. Therefore, bullies start by employing smears to destroy the target’s good name and standing in a community.

Moreover, it can tear down their relationships, family, career, finances and businesses. Consequently, the cumulative result is that bullying ruins the target’s self-esteem and their life.

5. Bullying is personal.

As mentioned earlier, bullies require a target. Also, bullying requires an agenda and vendetta. Bullies will actively pursue you and make it their mission in life to destroy you.

Uncivil people, on the other hand, have no agenda nor vendetta. Therefore, they don’t care who you are or where you come from. They just have personalities that suck. These people are just jerks.

Jerks treat everyone in general, like dirt. Moreover, they only insult you because they don’t want you to bother them with anything.  They’ll never put in the time or effort to pursue anyone.

Jerks are equal opportunity dirt bags.

A jerk just doesn’t care about anyone. Period. This kind of person is just afraid you might want something from him. On the other hand, a bully wants something from YOU.

Examples of Incivility vs Bullying:

Jerky Behavior.

If a 6’5” tall and muscular knucklehead on the street bumps into you and says, “Hey, idiot! Watch where the hell you’re going!”, then keeps walking. That’s not bullying.

Is the person a total jackass? Absolutely. However, he isn’t necessarily a bully.

Bullying would be if he deliberately ran into you and shot his mouth off to you every day, every time he saw you on the street. In other words, he’d have to repeat the behavior and continue to harass you.

Only then would this be a case of bullying. Why? Because the knucklehead would be using his size and height to intimidate you. Also, he’d be repeating the behavior every day.

Voicing an Opinion.

Kathy and Kelly live across the street from each other. Kelly asks Kathy what she thinks of her new next-door neighbor. Kathy answers, saying, “I think he is an arrogant, egotistical jackass.”

Kathy is not a bully. Is she highly opinionated? Yes. Is she an asshole? Probably. But she’s not necessarily a bully.

However, if Kathy continues this behavior for a length of time, then yes. She would be a bully. If she smears the new neighbor to everyone in the neighborhood to turn everyone against them, then you could call it bullying.

Incivility vs Bullying:

Arguments and debates.

If two people are arguing over different beliefs, it’s not bullying. This goes even if the argument is heated.

However, incivility becomes bullying when one of the arguers begins repeatedly calling the other names and shaming them because they don’t share their beliefs. Moreover, if the person continues to harass the other long after the debate is finished, then, yes, it’s bullying.

To protect yourself from being falsely labeled a bully, you must know what constitutes bullying and what doesn’t. Only then will you be able to distinguish between each and correct anyone who tries to stick you with that label.

And you will do it confidently.

THis post is all about the differences of incivility vs bullying so that you can better recognize the differences between the two and call out bullying when you see it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

what do bullies fear most at work

What Do Bullies Fear Most? 10 Things that Terrify Bullies

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‘What do bullies fear most,” you may wonder. You may even wonder if they have any fear at all. But, trust me, they are the biggest cowards of all. Here’s everything that frightens them the most so you can use it to your advantage.

what do bullies fear most

Bullies often put on an air of invincibility. They display false bravado and arrogance. However, we all know they’re the biggest cowards in the world!

In this post you will have all the answers to the question, “what do bullies fear most?”. This will prompt you to find ways to use it to your advantage.

Once you learn all about this game-changing information, you will be better able to counter bullying and bully-proof yourself.

Once you read this post, you’ll no longer wonder, “What do bullies fear most?”. These answers will be the arsenal you need to protect yourself against the onslaught of bullying.

What do Bullies Fear Most?

‘Ready? Let’s get right into it!

1. Being Exposed

Bullies get by only on appearances. The fronts they put up are only illusions and mirages. Moreover, without the facades they work so hard to maintain, they have no leg to stand on.

Therefore, the constant threat of exposure weighs heavily on them. Understand that the lives of bullies are filled with cracks that just might expose who they really are.

Think of these cracks as smoldering hot spots that threaten to blaze again. Bullies are forever running around pouring buckets of water on these hots pots.

They have to bust ass to make sure these hot spots don’t ignite.

Also, they must continuously struggle to maintain control of everyone and everything, and that’s not easy.

Bullies know that once their real personality seeps through, people will lose respect for them and they’ll lose power. And if they lose power, their mistreatment of others will come back to bite them in the ass… hard!

2. Looking Weak

Anytime you defend yourself, you become a threat to the bullies’ power. Why? Because you automatically put them in positions of weakness. This goes double if you confront them in public.

In other words, stand up to them in front of an audience, then you really make them look like punks. As a result, some bullies will retaliate to reinforce their dominance over you.

But wait, there’s another point here. When you make your bullies look weak by standing up to them, you just might start a new trend! You may embolden others others to stand up to the bullies too.

Ouch! Just the mere thought of this is painful to bullies!

Courage has a way of spreading and, once it spreads, the bully loses power. Bullies know this. Therefore, they double down by retaliating to re-enforce power.

3. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Taking Risks

Bullies are highly insecure. Therefore, you’ll never see them take risks. They’re too cowardly.

Realize that bullies put up facades and bullshit their way through life. Again, they get by on appearances. That’s it!

Instead of taking risks and working hard to get ahead, they lie, cheat, steal, connive and scheme to do it.

4. Getting their Asses Kicked

This applies mostly to physical bullies who believe in using their fists to get what they want. Moreover, these types of bullies often believe that kicking ass is what makes a person tough and gets them respect and admiration.

Therefore, they fear running up on someone who’s a little tougher than them and getting their butts handed to them. Especially in front of people!

It’s not so much that they fear the physical pain of a good ass-whipping. It’s the humiliation and the blow to their ego that they fear most.

Moreover, they fear looking like weak little wusses. They also fear that once someone gives them a good beat down, it just may shatter their tough guy reputations and set their own asses up to be bullied.

5. What do Bullies Fear Most?

Being humiliated in public

None of us want humiliation. However, to bullies, being humiliated is the end of the world. Understand that bullies like to be A-1 best… at everything!

Moreover, they crave to be the center of attention and for all humans to worship the ground they walk on. If you humiliate them somehow, it threatens their god-like status and shatters their facade of invincibility.

They know that humiliation just might be the final nail in the coffin to their image of perfection. As a result, it may throw them of their pedestals in the eyes of everyone else.

Gasp!

And don’t think they won’t take revenge on you if you ever cause them to look bad.

6. Losing Their High Social Status

This goes especially for bullies who are popular. Their social capital is their power. Therefore, if they lose that, their power goes with it!

And they know it!

7. Losing Control over you

Bullies fear losing power over you. Why do you think they double down on their attacks when you finally begin standing up to them?

It’s because, anytime you defend yourself, your bullies feel that they’re losing the power battle. Or, they’re about to lose.

Therefore, the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force. Why? Again, because if you stand your ground and begin refusing their attempts to walk on you, you just might inspire others to do the same.

As a result, you might cause them to lose  all respect, status, and authority (power).

8. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

Looking foolish

Bullies have big egos. Therefore, they don’t only want to look tough or attractive, they also want to look smart. Again, bullies want to be the best at everything, or, at least, look like they are.

If you make a bully look like an idiot, whether it’s through a good response to their attacks or a dirty trick to embarrass them, they will retaliate with the fury of Satan.

Again, the bully’s facade is that of perfection. And if you shatter their false image, look out!

9. Being Alone

Bullies are like wolves. They usually run in packs.

Strength does come in numbers. Therefore, bullies are notorious for having an entourage behind them when they attack their victims.

A group of bullies always has a ringleader, or main bully. The ringleader keeps the other group members on standby not only to intimidate you but for protection in case you stand up to them.

You must realize that bullies are cowards. Therefore, they will never have the sack to fight alone.

Moreover, social science has proved that comradeship is born when two or more people can find something (or someone)they dislike. In other words, a group must have a common enemy they can all share a passionate hatred for.

And if members of the group do not feel they can get solidarity any other way, they will find or create an enemy they can all united against.

Therefore, they may single you out and harass you for purposes of group unity. If it’s the only way they can forge camaraderie among the other bullies in the group, than why not?

Put another way, they use you as a vehicle for interaction, ingratiation, and bonding.

Again, uniting against an enemy ensures group solidarity. Each member takes turns bullying you because they know that the rest of the pack expects them to.

Therefore they commit the harassment to ‘fit in’ and get rewards of group unity at your expense. Today, we call this “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.”

And sadly, most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

10. What Do Bullies Fear Most?

That you’ll outshine them

Understand that bullies are highly jealous people with fragile egos. Moreover, they feel threatened by anyone who outshines them in any way.

Therefore, any success you achieve will threaten their power. Moreover, it would crush their egos. You must realize that bullies can’t handle any success of someone they deem inferior to them.

They’ll tune out anyone who brags on you for a success or accomplishment well done. They’ll downplay your achievements.

Why? Because, again, your success is a huge threat to their power. Your achievements put cracks in their superiority. They’ll do anything to block out anyone who gives you praise.

However, this is what bullies do. They put up mental walls to block any threatening messages and info. And they do this to keep anything from penetrating their grandiose sense of self-importance.

Moreover, they support those walls by hurling ugly names and insults at you.

Bullies won’t tolerate being overshadowed by a little peon like you. No. Never! So, if you ever score a huge win, expect your bullies to punish you for daring to upstage them.

Workplace bullies are notorious for bullying those who outshine them at work.

How you use your bullies’ fears to your advantage is to do the things they fear most. Speak out. Call them out on their behavior. Stand up to them and do it in public if you must. Find ways to weaponize your bullies’ worst fears!

This post gives you all the answers to the question, “What do Bullies Fear Most?” These answers allow you to have knowledge of the bully’s weaknesses so that you can weaponize them and use them to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Jealousy and Bullying: 7 Proven Signs Your Bullies are Jealous

2. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

3. Cliques and Bullying: 3 Dirty Secrets Cliques Try to Hide

4. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

how to shut down a bully at school

How to Shut Down a Bully: 11 Comebacks that Stop Them Cold

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‘Want to know how to shut down a bully? Here are all the powerful comebacks you need to know about.

how to shut down a bully

Bullies are forever coming up with ways to humiliate and torment you. This is why you must learn cognitive re-framing and protect your precious self-esteem from being battered.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to shut down a bully with these powerful (and humiliating) comebacks.

Once you learn all these game-changing counter-jabs, you will be able to better defend your confidence, you self-esteem, and your overall mental health from these confidence thieves. Moreover, you’ll make them think twice before they ever come for you again.

This post is all about how to shut down a bully so that you can counter anything they throw at you and protect your most valuable asset… your mental health.

How to Shut Down a Bully

In order to shut down bullying when it happens to you, you must first re-frame everything they throw at you. This is the first step in shutting down bullies.

Bullies will always have something negative to say. Therefore, stop thinking there’s something wrong with you. Maybe there’s something right with you.

Therefore, before we get to the comebacks, let’s first talk about using cognitive re-framing.

So, what is cognitive re-framing?

According to the VeryWellMind blog, it is “a technique use to shift your mindset so you’re able to look at a situation, person, or relationship from a slightly different perspective.”

There are several ways you can look at different types of bullying attacks. For example, lets talk about gossip, rumors, and trash talk.

6 Ways to look at it when Bullies Trash-Talk You

Here’s how you use cognitive re-framing:

1. When people talk about you, good or bad, at least you know you aren’t boring.

And most people would rather be “bad” than boring.

Moreover, when people discuss you, it usually means that your life is a lot more interesting than theirs is. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be getting so many mentions, good or bad.

Think of it like this. You must be doing something right if people are mentioning you all the time. Therefore, realize that when they talk about you, they make you relevant.

2. How to Shut Down A Bully:

When people talk smack about you, it only means you still consume their minds.

So, who’s really in control here? You are. Let’s explain a little more.

People only talk about things, events and people that interest them. Moreover, they will only talk about any of the three that they consider relevant.

Therefore, as mentioned earlier, they make you relevant and you interest them. It doesn’t matter whether you illicit good or bad feelings in them. What matters is that you make an impact on them.

That, in itself, is power! Especially if you don’t care enough about them to even mention them at all. Do you see where I’m going with this?

The point is that they may hate you but you could care less about them. Again, that’s such sweet power!

3. You have a lot of power if you can stir resentment or hate in someone without trying To or meaning to.

It only goes to show that the dummy doing the talking can easily be controlled with little effort. Moreover, you’re interesting enough for them to discuss but they’re not interesting enough for you to talk about.

Therefore, just go on about your day and let them talk. Because people like those aren’t worth your time.

4. How to Shut Down a Bully:

They must really admire you and want to be like you.

Otherwise, you wouldn’t even be an afterthought to them. So, why should you give a damn. Again, let them talk.

5. It says more about them than it does about you.

It says if that they don’t have lives of their own. Again, they take an interest in yours, which means that your life must be more interesting than theirs!

You’re the winner here!

6. People who consistently talk bad about you really have an obsession with you.

Like the old saying goes, “He who angers you controls you.”

So, why not feel good about it and, even better, take advantage of it by letting them talk? Why? Because some things don’t need a defense. This goes especially if the bullies are known for being gossips and troublemakers.

Therefore, just sit back, smile, and be quietly amused by the pettiness they display. Be your sweet self, and others will see through the gossip too.

Once you finally wise up and take this approach, you’ll be surprised at the results! Moreover, your only regret will be that you didn’t realize this earlier.

Attitude is what it’s all about. With the right attitude, you can beat your bullies without ever lifting a finger!

And now, for the comebacks you’ve been waiting for!

How to Shut Down a Bully:

11 Comebacks you can use to Shut Them Up and Shut them Down.

1. “The truth hurts sometimes.”

This phrase is brilliant because it does two things:

It infuriates bullies who try to gaslight you. Why? Because it acts as a proverbial boomerang and reverses the sting back onto them.

Moreover, it exposes your bully’s inability to handle the truth. This comeback can only work in your favor because your bullies’ anger and indignation will only further give them away.

Why? Because bullies don’t get emotional unless they’re afraid they’re losing control. And once they fear losing control, they begin feeling desperate. Always remember that.

2. “I Don’t See It That Way.”

This is a good comeback because you’re making it clear to the bully that you refuse to buy their bullshit.

Keep in mind that bullies want to make you doubt your own perceptions. In other words, they want you to think, “well, maybe he’s right. Maybe I did have it coming.”

No you did not! Remember that you’re not responsible for anyone’s behavior but yours. Your bullies’ behavior is a direct result of their choices, not yours.

3. How to Shut Down a Bully:

“Whatever.”

This little one-word response is so potent and powerful. It’s short and sweet, and it’s the perfect blow-off to any bully.

Why? Because it sends the message that you refuse to engage with them. Also, through that response alone, you communicate to your bullies that they’re a waste of your time. And really, they are!

Therefore, you end up taking the wind right out of their sails. Why? Because, your bullies are excepting a big reaction from you and when you blow them off with a “whatever,” you stun them.

Any time you calmly use this comeback, you send the message to bullies that they don’t hurt nor intimidate you, they only bore you. Ouch!

It’s very difficult to counter a response of, “Whatever.”

Moreover, another reason this little beauty of a response infuriates bullies so much is that there’s no way to counter it. It stops them dead in their tracks and leaves them looking like fools.

Bullies may verbally retaliate with a “whatever” of their own. However, it will only make them look like they’re not very creative. Additionally, the bully will also look childish and corny.

Therefore, the trick with this little one-worded bomb is to draw first blood. In other words, he who says it first automatically wins the day!

Do it this way and you look calm, cool, and collected while making your bullies look defeated. Most importantly, you preserve your own sanity by refusing to argue or to agree with their drivel.

4. I’m sorry you feel that way.”

This really ticks off bullies because, just like the first comeback, it turns the tables on them. You send the unspoken message that you refuse to let their attacks shake you.

Using this sarcastic comeback isn’t an apology. It’s a dig. It shows the bully that you could care less about their feelings.

Also, it communicates to them that nothing they have to say is worth the effort you must put in to argue. Again, this is how you respond to a bully. They get no respect because they don’t give any.

5. How to Shut Down a Bully:

“that’s your opinion, not mine.”

This is a great comeback because it lets the bully know that their opinions don’t change yours. Moreover, it shows you could care less about what they think of you or what they have to say.

Bullies will seethe when you use this gem of a comeback. And you’ll come out feeling strong. I guarantee it!

6. “You have your reality and I have mine.”

Bullies are notorious for trying to undermine your reality and call your perception into question. Anytime you give your bullies this response, you tackle the problem up front.

Moreover, they get the message that you’re not one to be swayed from your perception. In other words, they’ll know instantly that you’re immune to any manipulative mind games they try to play.

And this is what you want so they’ll leave you alone and go find some other sucker to jerk around

7. How to Shut Down a Bully:

“How?” “When?” “Where?” or “Like What?”

What you are doing here is asking for details. Here, you come back at the bully with questions and they will absolutely hate that.

Bullies always avoid details. Why? Because when you ask questions, you change the focus from opinions and emotions to hard facts.

In other words, you force them to come up with hard evidence to back up their claim or argument. Most bullies won’t be able to counter this because they only speak from emotions rather than facts.

Ask a bully questions referring to context and evidence. Then, laugh as you watch them stutter and stammer, trying to come up with an intelligent-sounding answer.

Also, the bully may respond with things like, “Just forget it!” and storm off. However, realize that they do this because they can’t answer your questions.

So, again, laugh at them as they’re stomping away like an angry two-year-old.

8. How to Shut Down a Bully:

“You’ll get over it.”

This is the perfect response in lieu of a direct apology.

This may seem callous, unfeeling, and cold. However, this response allows you to respond without accepting blame.

Always remember that bullies lack integrity and a conscience. Therefore, if you happen to have these two virtues, bullies will only steamroll you with it.

Moreover, this comment will more than likely rile your bullies’ emotions. Why? Because they’ll get the message that you don’t take them seriously.

Moreover, their outbursts of anger and indignation will expose them for who they really are. Therefore, respond without taking responsibility for their bad behavior and do it with power!

9. “Don’t worry. You’ll Live.”

This response is the same as number 8 but with a softer touch. Again, this deflects any gaslighting away from you and back to the bully. The “Don’t worry” part highlights the bully’s anger or upset emotional state while buffering you from the bully’s initial attack.

It’s one of the perfect verbal boomerangs that can force bullies to expose themselves. Why? Because most bullies will explode at this comeback even if it is a softer one.

The reason your bullies will get so upset is because they’ll get the message that you take their frantic whining with a grain of salt.

What bully wouldn’t flip out at a response like this? Remember that bullies want you to get emotional. Or, they want you to hang your head low and walk away. They want you to feel as if you wronged them somehow.

But don’t!

Instead, use these responses and pretty soon, no one will want to bully you. These responses worked for me and they can work for you too.

10. How to Shut Down a Bully:

“Oh, you finally found something funny to say?”

This is good to use when a bully tries to deliver a good burn in front of an audience. Not only does it let them know that they aren’t funny, but it also lets them know they didn’t phase you with that corny jab.

Therefore, the bully will least likely try anything like that again a second time.

11. “This is so Boring. Let me know when you’re done.”

This is a great comeback because it tells the bully that they don’t upset you, hurt you, or anger you. What it says is that they bore the hell out of you. Ouch!

This is a huge let-down to the bully because they last thing they want is to be told that they’re boring.

Therefore, they’ll likely decide that they’d be better off finding an easier target.

This post was all about how to shut down a bully so that you can bully-proof yourself and protect your mental health.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Disarm a Bully: 13 Clever Comebacks that Work Wonders

2. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

3. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples

4. How to Outsmart a Bully: 1 Proven Strategy.

5. 5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

sadistic personality type

Sadistic Personality: Bullies who Bully for Pleasure

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‘Have you ever wondered if bullies have a sadistic personality. Do you want to learn about bullies who bully for pleasure? Here is all the information about sadistic bullies that you need to be aware of.

sadistic personality

Though we hate to say it, many bullies are, in fact, sadistic and enjoy inflicting pain on their victims. Sadly, it is the ultimate power rush for them.

Therefore, you will learn all about bullies, particularly those with a sadistic personality so that you know how to recognize them when you meet them.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information, you will be better able to defend yourself against such people.

This post is all about the sadistic personality so that you can be prepared to protect yourself against evil bullies who are cursed with this type of personality and ensure your safety.

Sadistic Personality

Sadly, most bullies bully because they enjoy it. None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world- people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

If you’re an empath, you’d like to think that every human being has a modicum of feeling when a another person is hurting.

I too would like to think that everyone on Earth has, at least, some feelings, some empathy, and some compassion- even if it’s a teeny tiny speck of it. However, this is not reality.

If it was, there wouldn’t be so many serial killers in the world.

Bullies and Schadenfreude

In this world, there are a lot of people who get sick pleasure from the suffering of their fellow man. Moreover, this goes especially for  those they despise and don’t see as human.

Otherwise, we would never have had unspeakable atrocities like the Holocaust, the Jonestown Massacre, or Waco.

Again, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they get pleasure from it. They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

Sadistic Personality:

If anyone does anything of their own free will, it’s something that pleases them to do.

And let’s face it, nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

No one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person. It gives them a sense of power, control, superiority, and domination.

Moreover, they get a thrill from it. Understand that these four things: power, control, superiority, domination, and sadistic jollies, are the payoffs bullies get. Hurting people they perceive as weaker- people they know will not (or can’t) fight back is what they do best.

Through their torment, the bullies send their targets these unspoken messages:

I can do anything I want with you and there is nothing you can do about it.

You are powerless against me.

I am more powerful than you.

I’m superior to you.

I dominate you.

I have control over your life.

I’m over you.

You’re beneath me.

You can’t do anything without my approval.

You are nothing without my approval.

Sadistic Personality:

Understand that when bullies bully, they feel almighty! And they enjoy the rush of power they get from it.

Realize that to people of a sadistic nature, bullying others is like pulling the legs off an ant or the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm.

In order words, physical bullies will beat the target just to hear them writhe, groan, or scream in pain. And the bullies will kick him again and again just to get him to scream louder and more frequently.

It’s the same with psychological bullies. They will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them.

And they do this because they cannot get satisfaction, happiness, control, superiority or… power any other way. Therefore, the only other option for these bullies is to inflict harm on others. It’s the only way they can feel good about themselves.

However, typical people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. Most people feel powerful through making accomplishments and achievements. This is called personal power.

With personal power, they get power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

Most get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Others achieve it through their family life, their talents, their finances, or their physical health.

Therefore, this is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they display their talents and gifts.

Sadistic Personality:

Personal Power vs Power Over

Understand that getting power this way doesn’t require hurting others.

Bullies, on the other hand couldn’t achieve these things without hurting others. That’s what makes them, well, bullies.

They can’t survive in this world without inflicting pain. Even worse, the pain of others is what they thrive on and they can never get enough of it. This is called power over.

Remember that, to these types of people, the rush they get from causing pain is like a drug. And this “drug” produces a high that wears off very quickly.

Therefore, to get another hit, bullies must come back to hurt you again, again, and again. In other words, this isn’t something they can stop cold turkey. Moreover, they can’t stop it without some kind of intervention.

 In other words, they go after who they think is the weakest in the herd. They’re like sharks that smell blood in the water.

Bullies in school may target those in the sped classes or those who have a physical disability. In fact, it isn’t unheard of for bullies to pick on kids who must use wheelchairs.

Many school bullies also target kids with Diabetes or those who are battling cancer. However, many seasoned bullies know better than to target those with visible disabilities because they know they’ll look like monsters if they do.

Therefore, they may target those with invisible disabilities or differences, like those with fibromyalgia, or people with Autism Spectrum Disorder.

However, these people bully, they either secretly or openly take pleasure in hurting others. And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them.

This is hard to fathom for many empaths. However, it’s better to find out now so you won’t be paralyzed with shock when it happens to you.

Shock can throw you off-balance and slow your response time. And if you aren’t reeling with shock, the better you’ll be able to take care of it and respond appropriately.

Sadistic Personality:

How to Deal with These Kinds of Bullies

Sadly, adult bullies in the workplace target those with disabilities and health issues too. Most people, I’ve found, don’t really grow up. They may only pretend to just to avoid any social consequences.

The best way to deal with these kinds of people is to find a way to expose their evil. Also, if you have a disability, it’s much better if you don’t try to hide it. Why?

Because if others know you have a disability or health issue, the more likely they are to come to your aid if bullies come for you.

Therefore, instead of hiding any disability or medical issue you might have, use it to your advantage. In other words, use it to gain sympathy and to make your bullies look like the monsters they truly are.

Expose them with it. Because, human nature dictates that if you look a little bit helpless, the right people may stand up for you.

Remember that bullies don’t get the glory they once got in the olden days. In other words, people don’t celebrate bullies like they did during the sixties, seventies, and eighties. They look down on them now.

Therefore, again, take advantage of that!

For example, when I was a freshman in high school, a much bigger girl tried to attack me in the hallway as we were leaving school for the day. I was a tiny 5’4″ 110 lb girl with a 5’8″, 180 lb female bully on my tail.

Bullies are also opportunistic, especially those who bully for pleasure.

The other kids in the hallway took up for me because I was a tiny girl. I’ll tell you how I did it. I just kept walking and let the bully expose herself in the crowded hallway. Moreover, I made myself look as helpless as I possibly could.

Therefore, I was able to garner a little bit of sympathy from the upperclassman and they come to my aid. There were many times I used being tiny (and being a female) to my advantage.

When you’re in danger, you do what you have to do to survive. And this was one of the tricks I used to survive bullying. Being a female had it’s advantages back then and I milked it, not sorry to say.

Therefore, sadistic bullies should read the quote below.

“If your happiness is based on someone else’s misery, it isn’t happiness ..it is a fleeting pleasure that will bite you in the ass…hard.”

This post was all about bullies with a sadistic personality so that you’ll know how to deal with them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

2. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

3. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

4. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

your bullies have enemies too

Bullies Have Enemies: 3 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage

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Did you know that your bullies have enemies too? ‘Want to know how to use it to your advantage? Here are ways you can do so.

bullies have enemies

Seasoned bullies have left a long trail of enemies behind them. Don’t believe me? Think about this. Bullies who have perfected their… ahem… craft have had plenty of practice. In fact, they’re had years of it.

There were many, many victims before you and there will be many more after you. That, you can count on. Bullies have hurt many people and destroyed a lot of lives. Therefore, you can bet that they have a treasure trove of enemies!

I say, treasure trove because it’s an advantage for you if you know how to use it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn that your bullies have enemies.  Moreover, you’ll learn how to align with your bullies’ enemies, become friends with them, then leverage your new friends against them.

You’ll also learn how to get intelligence on your bullies to use as a weapon to protect yourself.

Once you learn these clever techniques, you will be able to not only garner support from those who’ve been in your shoes, but you’ll learn how to use commonality to make friends in the future. Moreover, you’ll learn how to benefit from strength in numbers and protect yourself against your bullies.

Bullies Have Enemies

Gossip runs rampant in small towns. Therefore, if you find yourself unfortunate enough to be a victim of bullies in a small town, gossip about your (perceived) transgressions has reached from city limits to city limits… at light speed.

However, take it from someone who has been there.

People talk smack about bullies too, only they don’t do it openly. Why? Because the talkers fear becoming the bullies’ next targets.

Therefore, the talk is always in secret.

Believe me, you probably aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others.

However, because the others feel shame over being bullied, they, more than likely won’t admit to it.  Moreover, because bullies will never tell you if these other victims exist, you never hear about it.

Therefore, you mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on. Here’s how you use your bullies’ enemies against them.

1. Find out who your bullies’ enemies are and Befriend them.

This will be in your best interest if you’re a victim of bullying. It’s what I did, and boy, did I find out some really juicy tidbits about the lives of my bullies.

Moreover, most of the info I found out was some very embarrassing information!

The beauty of it is that I didn’t have to ask. I would only sit or stand quietly, observe, and listen! Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface, and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly after all.

For example, Let’s say that one of your bullies is now a nurse, and you’re good friends with several nurses who’ve had the displeasure of working with her. They tell you that, “she is as incompetent as they come.”

Also, she has a big family secret. You live in the same town. Therefore, you know what that secret is.

Moreover, you know that, for years, your bully has bounced from one job to another. Her former employers either fired her or she quit when things didn’t go her way. Also, you know that she has also been through five, maybe six marriages.

Know that this information is telling. It instantly reveals the type of person your bully is. Therefore, you can use it as a weapon. Or you can use it to your advantage.

Bullies have Enemies:

Scenario 2.

 One of your friends, who is harassed by the same bully, tells you that the bully dropped out of high school. Your friend also tells you that she has ended up working as a waitress.

Or you may discover that she now owns her own restaurant but barely breaks even.

Maybe years later, you find that several of your school bullies are incarcerated or have been. Also, maybe one was convicted of murder and another convicted of armed robbery, running guns, or possession of illegal substances.

Granted, it’s been years since you were in school, however, the benefit to these stories is that it makes you feel so much better about yourself. Why? Because you realize that your bullies weren’t so hot after all.

Moreover, knowing they’re been locked up and are criminals gives you a sense of justice. Moreover, it makes you feel better about yourself because you know you’re nothing like them.

Bullies have enemies:

Therefore I repeat: Befriend your bullies’ enemies.

1. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Befriend the other outcasts in your school, workplace, or community. Because I guarantee you that you aren’t the only one they’ve steamrolled. Bullies leave a lot of shattered lives in their wake and make lots of enemies. And strength always comes in numbers.

2. Listen out! You will hear many stories about your bullies from the rest of the outcasts and other people who cannot stand them. You will be surprised at what you find out. It may be that your bullies get laughed at too. People are only careful who they do it around and are quieter about it. They must be, or the bullies will target them too.

Bullies aren’t as important or invincible as they put on. It’s only an act! Realize that people such as these must work hard to maintain the facades they put on.

Moreover, the reason they give targets a difficult time is that targets don’t have to work that hard. They simply choose to be themselves.

Therefore, ingratiate yourself into the good graces of the enemies of your bullies and you’ll get an ear-full every time you got together.

Any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.

So, make no mistake. Bullies have enemies…LOTS of them! However, they will never in a million years tell you about it.

They don’t want you to know that others disrespect them behind their backs. Why? Because it would shatter the image of perfection and invincibility they’ve set for themselves.

The Bully’s Facade

Instead, they want you to believe that everyone loves them and thinks they are the best things since the wheel’s invention. And they want you to believe it because they want you to feel bad about yourself.

Put another way, if bullies can make you think that everyone loves them, then you’re more likely to believe the lie they drum into your head every day. That you’re just plain garbage.

Why? Because a bully’s popularity and greatness (perceived or not) only serves to re-enforce any dislike you have for yourself after you’ve been bullied for so long.

Please don’t let this happen to you. Befriend your bullies’ enemies. Open your eyes to your great value and worth. In that, you open your eyes to the facades your bullies hide behind and the acts they put on.

When you do this, I guarantee that your self-esteem will skyrocket.

2. Bullies Have Enemies:

Listen for Any intimate details about them.

Believe me, you aren’t the only one being victimized. There are others. But because the others more than likely won’t admit to being bullied and because bullies will never tell you if there are others, you never hear about it.

Therefore, you mistakenly think that you are the only one they pick on.

3. Let it boost Your Self-esteem.

You don’t have to take the info and spread it or use it against them. All you have to do is just know about it and it will give your self-esteem a huge boost! Why?

Because any embarrassing details you find out about your bullies’ lives is confirmation that you aren’t so unlucky after all. Moreover, it let’s you know that, just maybe, your bullies have been projecting their own misery unto you.

And they’ve been doing it so that they can feel better about themselves.

I can’t stress this enough! If you are a victim of bullies, it would be in your best interest to find out who your bullies’ enemies are. Moreover, align yourself with them.

It’s what I did, and boy, did I find out some really juicy tidbits about their lives…most of which is rather embarrassing information!

I didn’t have to ask. I would only sit or stand quietly, observe, and listen! Bullies may think they’re stars, but scratch the surface, and you’ll discover that they don’t shine so brightly after all.

The bullies I battled in school are only ordinary people. Yet, even today, most of them continue trying like mad to keep up with the Jones’s. Moreover, they work hard to make everyone think they have beaten the rat race.

 However, they’re failing miserably at it. Most have never left the small town and still put on the facade of power and a perfect life. It’s hilarious when you really think about it.

Any information you get about your bullies is valuable to you. Always! Because it can then be used as leverage should the bullies come for you.

Take this route and you won’t feel so bad about yourself when your bullies attack your character. You’ll only laugh inside, knowing what you know about them.

This post was all about the fact that bullies have enemies so that you can use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

2. “You Ain’t Shit!” – 5 Reasons Why Bullies Tell You This

3. Instigation: 3 Ways Bullies Sow Discord Between You and Others

4. Baiting: 5 Ways Bullies Bait You Into a Reaction

5. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

5 Things to Never Do with a Bully

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‘Want to know the 5 things to never do with a bully? Here are the top five mistakes you should never make with bullies so that you make yourself less vulnerable to them.

5 things to never do with a bully

The last thing you want is to give your bullies any ammunition they can use against you.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the five top things to never do with a bully.

Once you learn all about this super-important information, you will be able to make yourself more bully-proof and keep them from trashing your self-esteem any more than they already have. Moreover, they just might end up seeing you as a lost cause and move on to an easier target.

This post is all about the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can preserve your right to be left in peace.

5 Things to never do with a bully

1. Never Apologize to a Bully.

For anything! Ever!

You must understand that bullies will only see your unnecessary apologies as weakness. Why? Because you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.

And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.

Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.

Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.

In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”

Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.

  • You’ll get over it.
  • You’ll be alright.
  • By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
  • It’s no big deal.
  • This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.

2. 5 Things to never do with a bully:

Never Compliment a bully.

Trust me, bullies, especially the arrogant and puffed up type, get their boots licked enough.

They get false compliments and fake sympathy from their sycophants daily. How do you think they got so sickeningly full of themselves? Compliments should only be handed out to people who deserve them.

I learned this the hard way when I was sixteen and a sophomore in high school.

I remember seeing a girl in the cafeteria at lunch, and she was wearing a lovely dress. Naturally, I told her that it was a beautiful dress and that I liked it. And I meant it from the bottom of my heart when I said it.

However, it only fueled her arrogance. She only sneered at me and said,

“I know. So what? Nobody likes you, and you think kissing up changes things?”

You can imagine how heartbroken I was.

Few things uplift a person like a sincere compliment, which comes from the heart. However, a bully will only take your heartfelt compliment and steamroll you with it. They will only wipe their butts with it, then throw it back at you.

They may accept anyone else’s compliment. But if it comes for you, your bullies will only see it as ass-kissing.

Realize that a bully will only see it as confirmation that they are better than you. A bully will also think that you’re only trying to suck up to them to get them off your back.

A compliment to a bully is nothing more than an ego boost. And why not? Again, bullies are used to having most other classmates or coworkers bow down before them.

Moreover, it’s an opportunity for them to rake your dignity over the coals.

Instead, be the one who gives these life-suckers and happiness thieves a healthy dose of the real world. Be indifferent toward them- like you just don’t give a crap about them.

They may get angry because they may think people owe them allegiance, but you won’t give them the wrong impression. And, most importantly, you’ll walk away with your self-respect intact.

3. 5 Things to never do with a bully:

Never admit anything to a bully.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, bullies won’t give you margin for error. Therefore, it’s best never to admit any error’s in front of them.

4. Never share Secrets in the presence of a bully.

If you’re a target of bullying, understand that they’re just looking for any chance to reveal any embarrassing information about you. You must realize that they hate you and all they want to do is hurt you.

Even if the information is innocent, like watching a slasher film, it’s better to keep it to yourself. Therefore, this is a no-brainer. When people bully you, it’s just best to guard your secrets with your life!

5. Never reveal any of your plans.

This is for everyone, but especially if you’re a target of bullying. Many people trumpet their goals and dreams.

Moreover, they announce their plans without realizing what ramifications it can bring. And, if you’re a target of bullying, all the more reason why you should keep your plans, goals, and dreams to yourself. Therefore, work quietly.

Understand that any time you broadcast your objectives, you place yourself at risk of others sabotaging you and trying to derail your plans.

Furthermore, your bullies are just waiting, with bated breath, to destroy you.

You must realize that not everyone wants you to succeed. Why? Because your success would force them to reflect on their own person failures and shortcomings.

Moreover, if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will be damned before they allow someone they see as inferior  to reach success and overshadow them.

5 Things to Never Do with a bully:

Your success is a threat to your bullies’ power.

Bullies consider any success you enjoy as a personal affront. Any time you achieve a goal, you score a win. And when you score a win, you force your bullies into a place of lesser power.

Why, because it’s you who gets the recognition, praise, and glory, not your bullies. And they know it! You force them into the shadows while you get to shine and be recognized for your accomplishments.

This infuriates your bullies because they aren’t the ones in the spotlight!

Understand that the one thing bullies crave most is attention and adoration and when they find that you’re getting more of those things than they are, it’s Katie bar the door!

Naturally, they will launch all sorts of attacks against you. They will make a barrage of accusations. Also, they’ll even bring up the mistakes of your past to drive you back in the shade.

But see through it and stay above it. They only do it because you’ve threatened their power. And when bullies face the threat of losing their power and being driven into obscurity, they reveal their true colors.

In other words, you force them to expose themselves and their evil personalities.

5 Things to never do with a bully:

Two More Bonus Answers

1. Never try to Prove Yourself to a bully

Yes, I added a sixth answer as a bonus.  You should never try to prove yourself to a bully. Ever!

Bullies don’t deserve for you to expend so much effort to prove anything to them. Why? Because they’re not worthy of your best. Only the people who truly love you, uplift you and are proud of the person you’re becoming deserve that.

Only the people who have your back and are in your cheering section are worthy of the kind of work you put in.

‘You see? Bullies are the type of people who must have a target. In other words, they must have power over someone, anyone, or they end up feeling inadequate and useless (but aren’t they already?).

Bullies have an insatiable hunger for power. If they don’t have it, it drives them nuts.

If you’re a target of bullying, you only try to prove yourself to those who could care less either way. Moreover, you’ll be on an endless and futile quest. You’ll end up wasting precious time, which is time better spent focusing and working on you.

Understand that no one can prove themselves to a bully. It’s impossible because bullies only see the negative in others. They never have anything positive to credit anyone but themselves.

In fact, the better, stronger, smarter, braver, and more awesome you are, the more threatened your bullies feel.  Therefore, the more they’ll attack you to tighten their grip on your life.

The Only person you have anything to prove to is yourself.

Bullies hate strength, they hate smarts, and they hate any positive quality in anyone else but them.  Moreover, they especially despise them in the person possessing them is their victim, if their good points surpass theirs.

To a bully, control isn’t just about forcing you to do what they want. It’s about controlling your mind- your thoughts, attitudes, and preferences. In short, it’s about controlling your life and having the power to ruin it.

It’s about having the power to break you and wear you down. Bullies get off on that power. And when you consistently bend over backward to prove yourself to them, all it does is show them that they still have power over you.

Because, if they didn’t already have it, you wouldn’t be trying so hard. In fact, you wouldn’t try at all because you wouldn’t give a crap what they thought.

Remember! You have nothing to prove to anyone other than yourself.

2. 5 Things to Never do with a bully:

Never Pander to them

I’ve seen so many victims non-victims pander, or, in laymen terms, suck up to bullies. Bullies can intimidate and threaten you. No doubt about it!

Therefore, anytime someone feels threatened, their first instinct is to do anything they have to do to quell the danger. That, I completely understand.

But is it always a good idea to pander to your bullies? No. Here’s why.

1. It wouldn’t change things. Therefore, when you pander, you only give away more of your personal power. And that’s exactly what bullies want. Also, bullies see pandering as bowing down and kissing their feet.

And they only get a huge power rush and ego boost from it and, as we all know, bullies can’t get enough of those.

2. Would it change your bullies’ minds about harming you? It might for the moment. In other words, you may indeed pacify them, but the appeasement will only too quickly wear off. Trust me on this one, your bullies will come back for more later. That is a given.

5 things to never do with a bully:

Pandering Only makes you feel worse later.

3. You’ll end up feeling like a complete wuss later. You’ll only ruminate, asking yourself over and over again, “Why the hell did I just kowtow to this creep?” or “Why do I continuously let these people take a deuce all over me every chance they get?”

Trust me, your self-esteem will take a huge dent and you’ll end up kicking yourself for it later.

Pandering is counterproductive in the end. However,  start thinking for yourself and standing up to anyone who violates your boundaries. It’s true that they may bully you harder for it. You may have to fight harder and for longer to assert yourself.

And yes. The harassment may get worse before it gets better. But, in the end, you’ll feel better about yourself knowing you didn’t bend over for those morons. You’ll feel more confident and be proud of yourself, knowing that you stood firm and that you eventually overcome. And there is no better feeling. I guarantee it!

What’s the best way to handle a situation like this?

You handle it by simply staying above it- by not reacting to the bullies’ foolishness. Moreover, you deal with their abuse by continuing to enjoy your wins and successes and letting them stew in their own juices.

Put simpler, just let them talk. Let them launch all the personal attacks they desire as they seethe themselves into a ball of madness!

Because when they act out and spew nonsense against you, they only dig their own graves.

In the meantime, continue to work quietly and stealthily until you reach your goals. The more quietly you work, the less interference you’ll have from bullies and a few other toxic life-suckers. Therefore, the less roadblocks you will run into along the way.

And once you reach your goals, then you can bask in it. Even better, you can give your bullies the surprise of their lives.

“Your journey is silent, but your destination will be loud.”

5 Things to never Do with a Bully:

In Conclusion:

Remember that you’re the target. Bullies and everyone else will see any of the above five behaviors as sucking up.

Moreover, when you do any of them, you only reveal possible weaknesses and leave yourself vulnerable. Therefore, it’s best to stay way away from these behaviors.

Realize that any time people target you for bullying, everyone will automatically expect the worst from you. Why? Because, sadly, people despise victims of bullying.

And no, it may not be justified. It may not be fair but neither is life. It is what it is and you must do everything you can to make the best of it. Avoiding these behaviors is how you make the best of it.

This post was a lesson in the 5 things to never do with a bully so that you can keep the bullying you suffer to a minimum and spare your dignity.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

2. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. Neediness: 5 Reasons It’s Unhealthy and How to Overcome It

5. How to Stop Being a People Pleaser: 5 Powerful Steps

cliques and bullying in school

Cliques and Bullying: 3 Dirty Secrets Cliques Try to Hide

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‘Want to know all about cliques and bullying? Here are dirty secrets cliques don’t want you to know and why you’re better off not belonging to them.

cliques and bullying

People will establish a clique for the sole purpose of excluding others and for no apparent reason. Moreover, cliques have only one goal, to make their members feel superior to others.

Their criteria for “good enough” changes like the weather, and they have no special interests, causes, or abilities.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about cliques and bullying. Also, you will learn the secrets they don’t want you to know so that you can buffer your self-esteem from their attacks.

Once you learn all about these types of bullies, you will confidently look at them with hilarity instead of allowing them to make you feel like crap.

This post is all about cliques and bullying so that you can remain confident when they come for you.

Cliques and Bullying

A clique will exclude someone for reasons as trivial as not wearing name-brand shoes. Tomorrow, the same person may wear name-brand shoes. However, the members may exclude them because their hair is too straight or too curly.

You get the point. Cliques are just groups of bullies. Moreover, they exclude people for no logical reason. With that said, we can conclude that their members do it strictly to bolster their egos. Understand that these bullies achieve a psychological payoff. And that is to feel like they’re superior.

The Difference between cliques and clubs.

Now, when we talk about cliques, we don’t mean clubs. Clubs are different in that they promote an interest in a specific hobby or subject.

For example, a Math Club or a Music Club. Naturally, if you didn’t have an interest in Music, you wouldn’t be allowed to join the Music Club, which makes perfect sense. The same goes with Math clubs, motorcycle clubs, etc.

However, cliques have no real purpose other than to stoke the overstuffed (or bruised) egos of their members. Nothing more. Cliques have no substance behind them.

They’re a farce, all about appearances- a mirage.

Therefore, you must realize that anyone who has to establish or join a clique to feel good about themselves obviously doesn’t have much else going for them.

Only bullies belong to cliques, always. Moreover, they will look for any excuse to attack those on the outside. They then use differences to justify themselves.

People who join cliques must make someone feel bad to make themselves feel good.

Cliques and bullying:

Here’s how to look at it when a clique bullies you.

Sadly, cliques don’t realize that, by limiting their associations to only those in the group, they cheat themselves. In other words,  they only forfeit their chances of meeting interesting people who would otherwise be great assets to their lives.

Therefore, if you’ve been rejected by a clique, don’t feel bad. Instead, ask yourself these questions.

  • Are those frauds even worth knowing?
  • Are they even up to my level?
  • Would they benefit my life in any way?
  • Am I really missing anything?

Understand that cliques have no real benefits. They are the same boring people, having the same boring conversations, and living the same lackluster lives.

And if being a part of the clique is the only way its members can have any excitement in their lives, then  you should pity them.

Realize that cliques restrict their members from talking to anyone outside of the group. As a result, they miss out on possibility of meeting someone who would make a positive difference in their lives. Also, they forgo meeting anyone who could actually teach them something.

So, seriously! Who’s missing out here? You or them?

Cliques and Bullying:

1. High School Cliques and bullies

They May Have Their Little Kingdoms In High School. but What Becomes of Them Once They’re Out of School?

Most bullies may peak in high school. However, most only become irrelevant in the real world.

High school is child’s play. It’s the kiddie pool of life. Therefore, graduation means the end of the line for most “popular” bullies and cliques.

I say this because most of my former school bullies had their fame in school. However, they’ve have done very little with their lives since.

It’s the same for most bullies and cliquey people. Most achieve very little as adults, while many of those they have bullied evolve into remarkable and highly successful adults.

There are bullies who become successful in life also but it usually doesn’t last. They end up losing it all in the end.

I know this for a fact because  one of my older school bullies got a Nursing degree. She then worked as the Director of Nursing in a nursing home.

She seemed to be moving up in the world and got handed the most favorable positions. This is only because she was well-known in the town. In fact, most of my bullies from school either became nurses, law enforcement, teachers, or went to work in corrections.

Sadly, while working her prestigious DON position, this old bully got hooked on prescription pills. Eventually someone caught her stealing out of the medicine cart. Therefore, the owners of the nursing facility fired her from her job. But that wasn’t all.

Next, the state of Tennessee revoked her nursing license. Then her husband divorced her. Finally, she ended up penniless and working in a local cafe for minimum wage.

I can only imagine how humbled and humiliated she felt.

Cliques and bullying:

Most bullies end up meeting their karma.

Don’t get me wrong. I don’t secretly wish for anything bad to happen to anyone. Moreover, I don’t boast of the misfortunes of others- not even those who tormented me in school.

However, if you get your jollies out of making others feel lousy, Karma does repay eventually. Believe it or not, most of the coddled and babied daddy’s girls and puffed up mama’s boys get a colossal letdown once they’re out on their own.

I’ve come to find out that this has happened to many of my former bullies. They bully innocent others during school and, for a while, they get away with it.

However, years later, they get the comeuppance they never expected as adults.

Here are a few reasons why most of my ex-bullies aren’t very successful:

To be truly successful, a person must leave their comfort zones and face their worst fears. They must brave the possibility of failure. Sadly, most bullies will never leave what’s familiar to them.

They’d rather stay in the same old, one-horse town they grew up in. Why? Because, there, these bullies have favor. As a result, they continue to get opportunities, promotions, and rewards handed to them by their “town connections.”

These are only small, hallow victories. However, bullies would rather stay and hold on to those tiny victories rather than go where no one knows them. Why? Because when you go somewhere you aren’t already established, you automatically become an unknown.

You don’t get the favor you got back home. Therefore, you must start from square one. You must re-establish yourself, which takes a lot of time and hard work.

Bullies know this and it scares them to death. They’ll never go anywhere where they’ll have to start over. Remember that bullies think they’re entitled.

They’re so used to getting instant gratification that they’d rather stay home and continue piggy-backing on their town connections. Therefore, they’ll choose to keep winning those shallow victories rather then to go out in the world and chance failure.

Cliques and Bullying:

What becomes of those they bullied in school?

People who were bullied in school, on the other hand, often leave the town they were bullied in. In fact, most of these victims can’t wait to leave. Therefore, they do, once they’re out of school.

Victims of bullying often have an nagging desire to go where no one knows them. They’re itching to go somewhere they can start anew and begin carving their own path in life.

Therefore, they aren’t afraid to leave the unfamiliar because the familiar only brought them tons of abuse, heartache, and adversity. Therefore, they’ll risk failure just to get the hell away from the town they were bullied in.

These people are willing to work hard because they’re determined to make good lives for themselves. Moreover, people who survived bullying are willing to sacrifice the time to get to where they want to be.

Think about it. They never got any of the favors and special treatment their bullies received. They had to pull themselves up by the bootstraps and bust their asses if they wanted to achieve anything. So, the sacrifice isn’t so frightening to them.

In short, where the bullies see the dread of hard work and having to wait, the bullied see opportunity. Therefore, this is why many survivors of bullying end up wildly successful. More so than the creeps that bullied them.

2. Cliques and Bullying:

Another Downside

Again, most of my bullies never left. Why? Because they knew they wouldn’t get the special treatment and free passes in any other jurisdiction. Therefore, they stay where their friends were.

Then, they can continue to get by on nepotism and the “Good Ole Boy System.” Sadly, this occurs in most all towns.

However, here’s the thing about small towns and rural areas. It doesn’t take long, nor does it take much effort to maximize potential in these areas. And this goes for even for well-connected bullies and cliques.

A person can only go so far in a rural area. Therefore, let them have their small town safety net because they’re only playing in the kiddie pool! They would drown in the big pond.

High school is the highlight of most people’s lives, so bullies had better enjoy it while they can. Why? Because the real world doesn’t care who you were in high school.

Adult life has no concern with how popular you were. The real world could care less if you were Homecoming Queen, the varsity football star, or on the cheer leading squad. Moreover, the workplace doesn’t care if you were in a fraternity, sorority or if you were class president!

All the real world wants to know is whether or not you can contribute something to it. And most bullies are as incompetent as they come and add nothing but negativity to life.

Therefore, if nothing else, know this. The differences that your classmates ridicule are the same characteristics and skills others will value and admire later.

3. There Are Benefits to Not Belonging to a Clique

People put entirely too much importance on belonging to a certain clique. However, I want to assure you that by you’re so much better off.

There is something to be said for not belonging to any particular group. Why? Because it allows you to have a great degree of freedom. Anytime you are a member of a clique, restrictions come with it.

Moreover, one of those restrictions is the unwritten rule against associating with anyone outside of that circle. Moreover, if a member is caught talking to an “outsider,” that person runs the risk of being ostracized and ousted by the other members.

Therefore, it just isn’t worth it. Why would anyone want to have someone else prevent them from meeting new people?

Cliques and bullying:

By not belonging to a clique, you can think freely.

When you become a member of a clique, the other members will expect your beliefs, attitudes, and opinions to match theirs. If you don’t hold the same values, they’ll either kick you out or worse, bully you.

Any unwritten rule that forbids you to associate with anyone outside of a group is utter hogwash! There is no reason you should not be able to associate with people you choose.

No two people are the same, and you should be free to have your own opinions, beliefs, and attitudes. Therefore, do what makes YOU happy.

Stop trying to please or impress your “friends.” Because if you have to suppress yourself to keep these people, then they aren’t your friends.

Never allow a clique or your desire to be a part of one cause you to pass up opportunities to get to know great people. Why? Because these may be people who someday prove to be wonderful friends and associates!

Moreover, never allow others to restrict you from being your authentic self! If the clique cannot respect and accept your individuality, then you must ask yourself, “Are these people really worth my time?”

Most Cliques are Fakers and Posers

During high school, I can’t count the classmates who were posers and fakers. My guess was that these posers accounted for at least half of the class.

It shouldn’t be surprising that in high school, everything is based on appearances. Therefore, those who fake it the best and most convincingly are the ones who are bullies and usually, most popular.

However, most high school kids don’t pay attention to detail. Thankfully, I was one of the few who did.

In the lunch line, I would notice that most of the guys in the clique would wear their flashy, designer clothes. Yet, most of them would pull out a cheap, fifteen-dollar wallet to pay for their lunches.

Cliques and bullying:

Cheap Wallets and Knock-off Handbags

Also, the girls in the clique would wear their high-fashion clothes. However, cheap, knock-off “Gucci” handbags would be hanging from their shoulders and arms. If you paid close attention and had an eye for detail, you could tell by the stitching patterns and thread counts that these purses were fake.

All through the school, you would see the fake gold, Rolex watches. They also wore faux fur and suede, cheap costume jewelry, and fake leather and snakeskin. It was laughable at best!

Just to be clear, I have no qualms with anyone who has these items. Heck, they may like them. However, when you’re a bully and you buy these knock-offs to look like you’re rolling in money, you only look ridiculous. And you get no respect. Sorry.

In contrast, most victims of bullying don’t feel like they need to have all that fake crap, yet they’re the ones bullies target.

Targets, You’re Better Than That, and They Know It

You may still be wondering what the point to this story is. The point is that, if you’re a target, your bullies will most likely bully you over your virtues, not your faults. Moreover, to keep everyone’s attention of their insecurities and fakery, they will project them onto you.

In short, people who are authentic and real are comfortable with being themselves. Therefore, they’re most likely to suffer bullying. It’s just the way of the messed-up world we live in.

So, I want you to know that when people bully you, it is not because you’re doing something wrong. It just may be because you’re doing something right.

In other words, it’s not that there’s something wrong with you, it’s because there’s something right with you.

Most posers bully others because they’re angry that they must work so hard at being fake. And they’re jealous of anyone who doesn’t. Therefore, your self-esteem should soar when you realize this fundamental truth.

Posers hate and bully authentic people because they are complete opposites of them. And bullying cliques are the biggest posers of all!

This post was all about cliques and bullying so that you can feel much better about not being a member of a clique.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Unhealthy Ways to Deal with Bullying: 11 No-No’s to be Aware of

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. Things School Bullies Try to Hide: 13 Things They’re Ashamed Of

5. Enemies Are Better Than Frenemies: 5 Reasons Bullied Victims must Beware Fake Friends

why is my bully being nice to me all of a sudden

Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me? Here are 5 Reasons to Beware!

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If you’ve a victim of bullying, you’ve probably had situations where you’ve asked yourself, “why is my bully being nice to me all of a sudden?” Moreover, the pleasantries seemed to come out of the blue.

Here are all the possible reasons they do this and why you should be very cautious.

why is my bully being nice to me

Anytime your bullies suddenly act nice to you, it leaves you confused and bewildered. Or worse, it may have filled you with new hope. However, don’t get too comfortable.

In this post, you will learn all the answers to your question, “why is my bully being nice to me?”

Once you learn all these answers, you will be able to see through their niceties and take steps to protect yourself against any dirty tricks.

This post gives you all the answers to the question, “why is my bully being nice to me,” so that you can guard yourself accordingly and avoid any traps your bullies may set for you.

“Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me?”

 If nothing else, know this! You should beware if your bullies ever just up and all of a sudden, out of the blue, start being nice to you. Why? Because bullies will always pull this number when they need you to let down your defenses.

Therefore, they pour on the sweetness and try to butter you up.

Again, I can’t stress this enough! If you ever see this sudden change in your bullies at school or in the workplace, beware! Because it’s probably an act!

So, What are the signs of fake kindness?

Before we get into the reasons bullies play nice with you, lets first discuss the signs that their pleasantries are fake.

1. A sudden change of heart

Nobody becomes a friend overnight. Friendship takes time because trust isn’t free; it’s earned. Moreover, trust needs a considerable amount of time to build.

Therefore, just as you shouldn’t rush into a romantic relationship, neither should you rush into a friendship. If someone who is usually brutal toward you just ups and begins treating you warmly, you’d better beat feet to the nearest exit- fast!

2. “Why is My Bully Being Nice to ME?”

Flattery/Sweet-Talk

Bullies have a higher understanding of human nature than most. In other words, they instinctively know that after they’ve bullied their victim over a certain amount of time, that person is more likely to be hungry for any morsel of acceptance, approval, and kindness.

Put another way, bullies can sense that the victim is vulnerable. And they will take full advantage!

You’ll know that something is off because your bullies will overdo the pleasantries. They’ll use excessive flattery. And, man! Do they lay it on thick!

Therefore, if they’re so sickeningly sweet that you swear you’re getting a mouth full of cavities just listening to them, that’s your cue to find the door.

3. A fake smile

As one verse in the old song goes, a smile is only a frown turned upside down. If they smile with their mouths and not with their eyes, it’s time to end the conversation and get away from those creeps.

4. Micro-flashes

If you pay close attention to their body language and facial expressions, you’ll notice those tiny, split-second flashes of contempt on their faces. Moreover, you’ll notice them when your bullies think you aren’t looking or paying attention.

Therefore, don’t ignore those. Bid them goodbye and politely leave.

5. “Why is my bully being nice to me?”

Giggling or smirking among themselves after you turn and walk away

Moreover, they’ll look at you until you turn your back, then they’ll give each other knowing glances. Or, they may look at each other and give a wink, a nod, or both.

These are a dead giveaway! Therefore, give these idiots the boot!

6. They will get furious when you politely decline any invitations or requests.

Again! Steer clear. It only goes to show that they don’t respect you as a person with feelings, boundaries and human rights!

Also, it’s a sign that in their invitations or requests, they more than likely had plans for you that you don’t know about. Maybe they invited you to dinner or a party as a way to lure you to a possible set-up for something humiliating or dangerous?

You never know. And if you don’t know, don’t go!

“Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me?”

Listen to your gut!

When it comes to bullies, always be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary. Therefore, if something doesn’t feel right, that’s usually your first clue. Your gut will always give you the correct answer. Listen to it.

“Why is my Bully Being Nice to Me?”

Here’s a scenario:

So, it appears that your bullies have suddenly had a change of heart. They’re finally treating you right. They’re finally talking to you like you’re an equal.

They’re smiling in your face, giving you pats on the back, and talking to you like you’re one of them.

However, you’re smarter than what they give you credit for. You notice that the bullies are so sweet, too sweet! You think that if they don’t stop with the pleasantries soon, you’ll surely fall into a sugar coma!

Moreover, you notice a slight fake in the tones of their voices. Instead of making you feel good about yourself, they make you feel gross. But you don’t mention it to them. You only stay polite yet neutral.

In fact, the bullies are even inviting you to sleepovers, parties, cookouts, lunch and dinner dates, meetings, and shindigs. Every time these people talk to you, they seem to gush over you.

There it is again! That sick feeling in the pit of your stomach!

You grow suspicious of them, and rightfully so. And in your mind, you ask yourself, “Why are they acting so nice all of a sudden?”

You politely decline the invitations they extend to you. But trust me, they won’t give up so easily. There will be a few more tricks up their sleeves. You can bet on it.

“Why is my bully being nice to me?”

Here’s another bad sign to look for:

1. They’re nosy.

They will ask you a ton of questions about your family and what you do outside of school or work. Those questions are innocent enough. However, they will slowly and gradually move into more personal territory.

Bullies will begin asking you what your political views and beliefs are and about your religious views. You don’t have to answer those. It’s none of anyone’s business!

Before long, they will begin prying into your personal and private business. These snoops will ask your opinion of this person and that, who you’re dating, how you feel about this, that and the other.

Moreover, they will ask questions that anyone with a brain would know better than to ask. Some things are just off limits!

Bullies will even share with you some personal details about themselves. But don’t be fooled! They’re only doing it to put you at ease. Why? Because they’re hoping that you’ll get comfortable enough to share a few of yours.

Again. Don’t fall for it!

Also, anytime people ask you very personal questions, it also means that they don’t respect your right to privacy. And be warned that when you refuse to let them in on your private business, they may come back and accuse you of “having something to hide.”

Don’t believe it! Because it’s not about having anything to hide, it’s about knowing that some things aren’t anyone’s business, and they should respect that.

Never share anything that you wouldn’t want anyone else to know!!!

“Why is My bully being nice to me?”

Here are your answers:

1. They want something from you.

You can bet they do! Why else would bullies be nice to you all of a sudden when they hated your guts the day before? They may want money or something material. Moreover, they may want you to do something for them.

Whatever it is, don’t give it to them. Know that they aren’t being authentic and you should be on your guard. Why?

Because once you give them what they want, they’ll go right back to being the assholes they were before. Even worse, you’ll end up feeling like an idiot for falling for their bullshit!

2. They’re trying to set you up for trouble.

Your bullies could be setting you up to be humiliated, to fail, to get in trouble with authority, or for a brutal physical attack.

Therefore, before they set the trap, they must find ways to bring down your defenses and gain your trust.

Again, don’t fall for it. Put some distance between yourself and your bullies because you can bet they’re playing you for a sucker!

3. They’re planning to pump personal information out of you to use against you later.

And when they do, your bullies will seem so interested in your life and in what you’re doing. But don’t be flattered. Chances are, they’re only probing you for information they can use against you later.

Understand that any time someone asks questions that are none of their business, it’s a dead giveaway that they intend to use your answers against you. Don’t answer them!

4. “Why is My Bully Being Nice to Me?”

They mean to keep you confused.

Sometimes, bullies play the hot and cold game to bewilder you and keep you on the back foot. Therefore, after they’ve pull this crap on you a few times, see it for what it is. A mind game!

Then disengage and have nothing more to do with them!

5. They fear getting into trouble.

Often, bullies may act nice to you to keep their butts out of trouble. However, once the threat is over, they’ll go back to being the same creeps they were. Therefore, don’t fall for the act.

Tell them to get away from you and stay away!

In Conclusion:

Let’s do a quick summary.

  • When people who treated you like garbage suddenly decide that you’re the best thing since sliced bread? Look out!
  • When bullies put on the nice act, they’ll gush over you and pour on the compliments. They’ll tell you how wonderful you are and that they got you all wrong and misjudged you.
  • Also, they’ll show you excessive attention and laugh at your jokes with their counterfeit laughs.
  • Your internal alarm will go off in the pit of your gut because something will feel “off” about these little encounters.
  • Your bullies will be so sappy with their niceties.
  • They’ll stand a little too close, and gush over your small wins and accomplishments.
  • They will seem to latch on to you like a tick to a dog.
  • You’re first thought may be, “Ewww,” “Yuck,” or any other utterance of total disgust.
  • Their sweetness will be downright sickening.

My advice is to get away from these people. Fast! Because they’re up to something. You might not know what that “something” is.

However, for your safety, ditch these fools and have nothing to do with them. If something feels wrong, listen closely. Your instinct never lies.

this post answer the question, “Why is my bully being nice to me,” so that you can keep your guard up and see through the nice act.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies

2. Forgiveness Does Not Require Reconnection

3. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

4. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

5. How to Spot a Bully: 13 Must-Know Body-Language Examples