Category: abuse

bullying or mobbing difference

Bullying or Mobbing?

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‘Want to know if it’s bullying or mobbing? Here are all the signs you need to know.

bullying or mobbing

Bullying becomes Chronic when the bullying has gone on over time and has escalated such that it has now reached a dangerous level. In short, bullying has reached epic proportions.

This is when bullying can become mobbing.

In this post, you will learn how to tell whether you suffer bullying or mobbing so that you can recognize the difference.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to see the difference and take the appropriate steps to ensure your safety.

This post is all about how to tell if what you’re enduring is bullying or mobbing. This is so you can decide whether you should keep fighting or cut your losses and leave the environment to be safe again.

Bullying or Mobbing

When there’s chronic bullying, bullies have grown so comfortable with bullying you that they skyrocket the torment. Also, they will pursue you obsessively and non-stop.

Where there’s chronic bullying, there’s no accountability. And where there’s no accountability, there’s simply no incentive to stop.

What is chronic bullying?

Chronic bullying is bullying that has gone on for a long period of time. This type of bullying has usually been happening for several years.

Chronic bullying happens once the bullies’ behavior has gone ignored and unaddressed. In other words, no one has spoken up about it. Moreover, no one has ever held your bullies accountable for the way they’ve treated you.

Therefore, the bullies have gotten away with it. And, because they’ve gotten away with it, they’ve grown more bold in their attacks.

In other words, your bullies have become brazen. In fact, they’ve become so cocky, and encouraged that their actions have grown in strength, frequency, and cruelty over several years.

This is because others have have probably supported your bullies’ behavior. Therefore, they only encourage them to bully you more.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Chronic Bullying Becomes Mobbing.

After bullies have bullied you for many years, their apathy toward you has grown until they have lost all empathy. In that, they’ve come to feel nothing but blind hatred and fury toward you.

They now have the attitude that anything they do to you, no matter how cruel, is okay. Why? Because, to them, you have no value, and your life is worth nothing.

Understand that when bullying becomes mobbing, they don’t look at you as a human being. They only see you as so worthless and inferior that, you don’t deserve oxygen, much less any respect.

This is why this type of bullying is dangerous. Because, if you’re a victim of it, you have a high probability of either dying by suicide or murder. Yes, bullies do murder their victims.

When it’s bullying, you may have one person or a small group bullying you. When it’s mobbing, almost everyone bullies you.

Bullies who bully to these extremes usually have droves of followers and minions backing them up. As time comes on,  they enlist more members of their following to do their dirty work.

The bullying gets this out of control, it becomes so ingrained and so severe that it seemingly takes on a life of its own.

The bullies are seemingly drunk on their own power and hatred that the bullying and torment of you seem to be all the bullies can focus on. Everyone else bullies you too.

They’re like a swarm of  angry bees that won’t stop chasing you and stinging you.

Bullying or Mobbing:

The Swarm Effect.

When bullies target you, others may also target you too. For instance, if one person bullies you, then soon, you’ll have two bullying you. Then, four, then six! And the number of bullies continues to increase.

And, before you know it, everyone is targeting you.

The reason others jump in on the fun of bullying you is because they want to feel like they’re a part of a group.

Again, when everyone begins bullying you, that’s when you know that the bullying has progressed to mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing.

Other signs of mobbing include high emotions like, intense anger and blind hatred. In other words, the mob can no longer control themselves.

Instead of the mob controlling their evil emotions and actions, their feelings and actions control them! The bullies are controlled by hatred and blinded by senseless rage.

They have become so addicted to power and control that the bullying becomes constant. It has to for the bullies to get their fix and maintain the high that power gives them.

Understand that, by the time bullying becomes mobbing, others no longer see you as a human being. Instead, they see you as so worthless and inferior that you don’t deserve the time of day, much less any respect.

As far as they’re concerned, you don’t even deserve to breathe the same air as them! In fact, you don’t deserve to breathe, period!

This is why chronic bullying can be especially dangerous to the target because the victim runs the chance of either breaking and dying of suicide or being murdered by their bullies.

Bullying or Mobbing:

Why mobbing can be the most dangerous.

When bullying progresses to mobbing, things can get dangerous very quickly. Also, mobbing is difficult to control.

This is because, in a case of mobbing, the mob’s emotions are so out of control that any logic goes out the window. Moreover, it blocks their ability to reason.

Their logical brain shuts down and their primal brain takes over. They’re like a pack of wild dogs who surround their prey.

Therefore, the mob’s first instinct is to tear you apart!

The power of vicious people in large groups.

Strength always comes in numbers. Moreover, when you have a large number of people who are out to get you, you don’t have a chance.

One person can’t stand up against a mob of five or more people. And most schools have anywhere from a hundred to five thousand students. Companies can have 10 employees or they can employ over ten thousand workers.

Again, if you’re mobbed in a school of five hundred students or a company with a thousand workers, you don’t have a prayer!

Why? Because a large mob has a collective power that’s impossible to stand against.

Bullying or Mobbing:

So, what can you do?

This is why it’s so important to get out anytime bullying becomes mobbing. Get out of that environment. You can transfer to another school or go to work for another company. Also, you can move to another area.

Again, once bullying becomes mobbing, it becomes so out of control that it takes on a life of it’s own. There’s no stopping it at this stage.

Therefore, the only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Just disappear. Go somewhere quiet.

Never stay in an environment that hates you. People in a mob aren’t worth fighting. Moreover, it isn’t worth the cost to your mental health! The only way you’ll ever find peace is to leave without telling anyone. Only then will you be safe and have peace of mind.

This post was all how to tell if what you endure is bullying or mobbing so that you can take the appropriate measures to protect your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Mobbing in the Workplace: How it Progresses, Step-by-Step

2. How Bullies Gain Power: 9 Astonishing Ways They Do It.

3. When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger 

pack mentality psychology

Pack Mentality: All About Group Bullying

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‘Want to know all about pack mentality and why people conform to groups? And do you want to learn how conformity leads people to victimize others? Here’s all the information you need to know.

pack mentality

We are all social creatures by nature. Isolation from a group is terrifying to people and we feel a sense of relief when we find others who think the same way we

When we’re in a group, we’re compelled to take up the opinions and ideas of that group because it brings us relief and a sense of belonging. It’s a fact that a person will act differently in a group than they will individually. Group behavior is contagious. It grows and gains momentum, and it does so very quickly.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about pack mentality, conformity, and how it puts you in danger if you are a victim of bullying.

Once you learn all about this important, even life-saving information. You will be more compelled to take the steps necessarily to keep yourself safe from group bullying.

This post is all about pack mentality and the danger it poses to bullying victims so that you can do what you must do to ensure your own safety.

Pack mentality

If you’re a target of bullying, group behavior has ways of changing your social identity and rewriting your history. Also, it creates more absurd accusations against you.

With time, group behavior gets more and more bizarre until their own hatred blinds them. Moreover, no one knows what really happened or how the hostility even got started. All everyone in the group knows is they want you destroyed and will stop at nothing to make that happen!

In a case of bullying by an entire group, it doesn’t matter whether you’ve done anything to bring the hostility about. And it doesn’t matter whether there is or isn’t anything wrong with you. Whether you’re innocent of any wrongdoing is irrelevant.

In fact, you more than likely did nothing wrong, and there’s nothing wrong with you. Again, that doesn’t matter when you have an entire group of people who detest you.

It doesn’t matter if you are a great person with a heart of gold. Also, it doesn’t matter if you have stunning good looks and a truckload of talent. Why? Because these people could care less about those things.

All that matters is that they hate you, and they’re out to get you!

And that’s a fact! They’re no different than a pack of wild, pit bull dogs.

Therefore, you absolutely must prepare and protect yourself! And your first step to doing this is to understand that bullies who bully in groups never act rationally. When people bully in groups, any logic goes right down the toilet. And emotion always prevails.

When bullies attack, bystanders usually join in. Everyone in the group bands together to humiliate and hurt you. And they have a shared love of seeing you suffer.

In a large group, bullies and bystanders act like fans rooting for their favorite ball team and against the rival team. In a case of bullying, you are that rival team.

Pack Mentality:

A Group of bullies is much more powerful than one bully.

This is much more dangerous. Why? Because the bullies and their loyal sycophants vastly outnumber you. Therefore, they know that it’s safe to show hostility.

People in groups are far more open with abuse. Why? Because their numbers give them more anonymity and protection.

Combine their numbers with the group’s comradery and hostility, and they become even more powerful. And dangerous! It’s the same kind of scenario you see in political fights and persecution.

The enthusiasm of the bullies and supporters is that of an entire nation when its soldiers return home from war. It spreads throughout the group with extreme fervor. It exalts their “heroes” while degrading the enemy.

In sports against the opposing team, in the military against the enemy on the battlefield, or a group of bullies and bystanders against a target, the mentality and feelings of hostility are all the same. It’s the dynamic of “us versus them.”

When bullies turn an entire school, workplace, or organization against you, the entire group shares a great degree of esprit de corps. In other words, members of the group solidify themselves to one another. Moreover, they develop a sense of pride in their group.

At the same time, they distance themselves from you. In this, they overplay the sameness in their clique. Moreover, they exaggerate how different you are from them.

The greater the hatred and hostility, the more they band together and bond with each other.  And the more they wish to harm you. And they don’t only want to hurt you, they want to eliminate you.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better prepared you’ll be when the mob comes for you.

Pack Mentality strengthens group cohesion.

In Robert Greene’s book entitled, “The Laws of Human Nature,” I once read that everyone needs a hated enemy and that there’s a positive side to having one… at least for them.  I’ve found that with packs of bullies, this is true.

Bullies in groups need an enemy, whether real or imagined. This helps them band together and fight against- an “us-versus-them” object.

Why? Because the presence of an enemy has always served to strengthen group cohesion and unite members. Groups use their hatred of the enemy to tighten the bonds among it’s members.

Moreover, if they can get anyone with power to join in the hatred, all the better. Why? Because they can more easily align together and eliminate you. The person in power can anyone from a teacher to a politician.

Sadly, love doesn’t unite people like hate does. Having shared hatred for someone bands people together much quicker and more effectively.

Bullies get their power from an entourage.

Remember that there’s strength in numbers, and bullies must always have groupies to back them up. Therefore, you will never see a bully alone. Why? Because they can’t handle being by themselves.

Bullies are cowards! Wimps! Wusses! They always attack in groups because they need their wing men to back them up. The pack is where they draw their power.

Without their backup, bullies are just as powerless as you are. A bully is too afraid to attack you one on one because they fear that you would bury them where they fall.

The bigger the group, the more intense the hatred. And the more intense the hatred, the stronger the solidarity and he less likely it is that the group will disband.

Hatred is the glue that binds the members together.

Dog Pack Mentality:

The victim serves several purposes for the group.

If you’re a victim of a large group of bullies, you are the tie that binds them. You unwittingly assure that the group always stays together as one.

Without you, a group of bullies is weak and things get boring real fast. Therefore, it won’t be long before they split up and go their separate ways.

If you suffer bullying from a group, they also need you for shared entertainment. They will use you as a victory trophy to collect and display. Also, they must use you as a guinea pig to test their strength and power on.

You are there for them to show others proof that they really are powerful.

Therefore, you give your bullies many outcomes. And once you’ve served your purpose, your bullies and their supporters will neatly and quietly dispose of you. Then, they’ll select a new victim.

The more you know about pack mentality, the better you can protect yourself against it.

Each member conforms to the rest of the group.

Conformity can be good because we conform to sensible laws and rules in order to ensure a safe and well-run society. Conformity holds us together.

However, when people conform at their own expense or to harm another person, that’s when it’s a bad thing. That’s when conformity becomes toxic conformity.

As mentioned earlier, hate is what fuels pack mentality. But toxic conformity also perpetuates it. Therefore, each member will take turns bullying you because they know it’s expected of them by the rest of the pack.

In fact, some of the members will bully you just to fit in.

As a result, the group rewards each member with inclusion and acceptance. Moreover, those rewards come at your expense.

We call this, “pack mentality” or “herd mentality.” And most people will do anything, right or wrong, to follow the rest of the herd.

Pack Mentality:

What is the difference between conformity and toxic conformity?

Again, conformity can be a good thing because it ensures a peaceful society. Everyone conforms to laws that keep peace and ensure safety.

On the other hand, toxic conformity only brings danger.

Conformity encourages people to speak up when they see wrongdoings and injustices. Therefore, it brings awareness of suffering.

Toxic conformity, on the other hand, forces people to stay silent about atrocities. It only blinds people to any pain others may experience.

Conformity promotes the love care for the individual. Toxic conformity promotes hatred and abuse of the individual.

What happens if a few members of the Bullying pack don’t conform?

Each member expects the others to act the same way they do. They expect them agree with everything they say and do. Right or wrong, they also expect them to keep their mouths shut.

In other words, each person must go along to get along.

So, what happens to them if they don’t bully you like the rest of the pack expects them to? They will be ostracized by the rest of the group. Moreover, the non-conformer will likely become the group’s new target.

They may be subjected to smear campaigns or physical violence. In extreme cases, they may even be murdered. Therefore, each member of the pack knows that they’d better conform or else.

So, they bully you to protect their own hide.

Therefore, when a pack of bullies comes for you, you must know where their hostility comes from. And you must take the appropriate measures to protect yourself.

Pack Mentality:

So, what can you do to protect yourself from a large group of bullies?

The effects of this kind of bullying can be severe. Therefore, it’s important that you take steps to defend yourself.

if you are a victim of bullies with pack mentality, especially if they’re in a large group you can call one of the members out by name and yell, “Stop!” When you call one or more members by name, you are removing their anonymity.

Therefore, you will shock them back to reality and they might just go away.

  If that doesn’t work, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the environment.

For instance, if you suffer this form of bullying in school, you may need to transfer schools. If it’s happening at work, you will need to create an exit plan and begin looking for a new job as soon as possible.

If this kind of bullying is coming from a band of townies in a community, it’s best if you just packed up and moved to another area.

Granted, either of these things may be difficult to do. However, it’s crucial if you have a band of bullies on your trail. And what other choice will you have?

 Change, especially positive change, is never easy. However, persecuted people have uprooted and left their home countries for the US in order to attain freedom.

Moreover, they found a better life. So, how much easier would it for you to leave a toxic environment? Move to a place where you can be safe and where you can grow and flourish. Only then will you live in peace!

This post is all about pack mentality so that you can recognize it and take steps to keep yourself safe from harm.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Effects of Bullying on the Victim: 13 Symptoms of Bullied People 

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

how to stop over-explaining yourself

How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use

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‘Want to know how to stop over-explaining? Here are all the mind hacks you need to know about.

how to stop over-explaining

Too many victims of bullying feel that they must explain themselves to everyone. However, some things just don’t need explaining.

Therefore, you shouldn’t explain yourself to people who mean very little to you. That includes bullies and haters.

In this post, you will learn how to stop over-explaining yourself so that you can enjoy more freedom and autonomy.

Once you learn all about these important tidbits, you will no longer feel the need to explain yourself to anyone you don’t owe anything to. As a result, you’ll feel much better about yourself and freer to do your own thing.

This post is all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can free yourself from other people’s ignorance and judgments.

How to Stop Over-Explaining

It’s amazing how we waste so much of our time and energy caring about what others think of us. Moreover, these are usually people whose opinions of us have absolutely no bearing on our lives!

I want you to understand that there will always be people who judge you negatively without knowing you. It’s a part of life.

Moreover, those who say the most are usually the ones who know the least about you. So, why do you place so much value on their opinions? Why do you need to explain yourself to them?

Don’t explain yourself to the wrong people

I can understand if the person means a lot to you. Longing to be accepted is human nature and we’re all hardwired to desire human connection.

Also, it’s good to value opinions of our families, friends, and those who love us and want best for us. Why? Because their opinions of us are credible and we value them.

However, a bully or hater’s opinion isn’t credible. It has no value and shouldn’t matter at all. These people add nothing to your life, they only take from it!

So, again, are people who are of no benefit to you even worth the energy expenditure? Should what they think of you even matter?

And do their meaningless opinions have any bearing on your life? Are they a superior at work or school and do they have the power to determine what happens to us?

If not, then chalk their opinions up as just a bunch of noise that you need to mute. Why? Because they aren’t worthy of any explanations or apologies.

And, if you continue over-explaining yourself to the wrong people, you only make yourself a bigger target to them.

1. How to stop over-explaining:

See your bullies’ opinions as a bunch of drivel.

One of sad things about suffering bullying is that others will always stick their noses in your business. Moreover, if you so much as scratch your nose, they will happily insert their cheap two cents on it.

Therefore, chances are that you’re doing all the research on how to refuse to answer to your bullies.

If nothing else, know this! You do NOT have to explain yourself to anyone. Sure, people have told you this time and time again. But how do you gather the courage to refuse?

2. See your bullies’ unsolicited opinions as tiny power-grabs.

Your bullies are only trying to strip you of your personal power.

Therefore, realize that you don’t have to answer to these ignoramuses. Tell them to take a long walk off a short pier. And take back your peace of mind.

Again, you don’t have to explain yourself to these pieces of garbage.

Why? Because bullies don’t care what your reasons are. They just want to run their mouths to undermine your autonomy. So, you don’t owe those creeps a damn thing!

3. Your bullies are trying to Bait you into a reaction.

Understand that bullies are playing games with you. Moreover, there’s a psychological payoff to these little mind-games.

Baiting you to react gives your bullies satisfaction, gratification, and a massive rush of power.

To put it simpler, while you’re wasting your breath, trying to explain yourself to your bullies, they’re smiling inside over how easy it was to get you riled up.

They’re getting their kicks off their ability to make you nervous and afraid. Therefore, realize that some things don’t need an explanation and some people don’t deserve one.

4. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that Explanations are a waste of time and energy

Why? For these reasons.

  • No matter what you say or how you say it, bullies will never believe you.
  • Most people only believe whatever feels convenient.
  • They aren’t interested in evidence or facts. Facts may only deter them for the time being. However, your bullies will only get angrier at you for having the gall to prove them wrong.
  • They’ll regroup, reorganize, then come back at you with a whole new accusation and demand another explanation later.

Therefore, it’s better just to tell them, up front, that you don’t owe them any explanations. Then, end the confrontation by telling them all to step off before turning your back and walking away.

5. See Your Bullies’ Opinions as a mind-Game.

Realize that your bullies get their thrills from knowing they have you jumping through hoops to prove yourself. Therefore, stop trying so hard to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth pissing on.

Therefore, who are they that you should have to explain anything? Why should you care what they think?

Are they even worth your consideration? They don’t pay your bills. And they don’t sign your paychecks. They damn sure aren’t important to you.

Are they even up to your level? Do they bring anything worthwhile to your life?

Ask yourself these questions and you’ll know the answers. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these morons jack shit!

I understand that bullies can be intimidating and threatening. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.

It’s difficult not to began rattling off when you just want them to go away and leave you in peace. But trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!

This bears repeating. It won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.

6. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

See their opinions as a trap!

When your bullies attempt to interact with you, they’ll try to suck you into the explaining trap. And, no matter how you much you explain things, they’ll only pretend not to understand.

In fact, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.

Again, most things don’t need an explanation. However, it doesn’t mean bullies won’t try. They’ll do their damnedest to get you to give needless explanations.

And, if you don’t understand how to avoid this trap, they’re have you running on an endless hamster wheel of trying to clear up things that aren’t a big deal.

You’ll only wear yourself out, trying to explain yourself to idiots who aren’t worthy of your time or consideration.

Therefore, realize that this is just another bullying tactic.

7. Realize that your bullies are trying To throw you off-balance

Realize that your bullies only make you explain yourself to keep you on the back foot. They’ll keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give more of them. Understand that they do this on purpose.

You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to keep you drowning in an endless sea of explanations and justifications.

Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that they really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.

What your bullies really want is to throw you off-balance. In other words, they want to bamboozle you and keep you engaging with them.

8. How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Understand that They can use your explaining To gather ammunition they can fire back at you later

‘You see? The longer your bullies can keep you interacting with them, the more they can reshape the things you say. They can then use them as proverbial bullets to fire at you later.

And they may use it tomorrow, or even years later.

You must realize that your bullies will retain very clear memories of what you say. And they’ll store it all up in the back of their minds, just in case it becomes useful ammo in their arsenal.

For example, you set a boundary by refusing to speak to your bullies and they ask you, “Why won’t you talk to us?”

You respond by pointing out all the abuse they’ve dealt you. Then, your bullies come back with, “And when did we do that?” Therefore, they entice you to explain when that was.

9. Know that They Only get you to explain yourself just To trip you up.

When bullies dupe you into explaining yourself, you’re likely to be emotional. Moreover, any time you become emotional, your logical brain shuts down and you aren’t able to think straight.

Therefore, you probably won’t be able to keep your story straight. And this will be no matter how truthful it is. But, understand that this is what your bullies are hoping for.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

So, what are the best ways to respond?

And how do you respond with strength? There are several ways.

For instance, if your bullies ask you, “What did we ever do to you?” you don’t have to offer any explanations. All you have to do is tell them shortly and firmly, “You know what you did.” Then, keep it moving.

Moreover, you want to walk away before the bullies have time to fire off another curve-ball. Therefore, say what you have to say, in as few words as possible, then turn your back and start walking.

Understand that you owe them nothing, and I mean nothing, more than that! This bears repeating. You don’t have to explain any damn thing to anyone.

Here’s another example. You confront your bullies over something bad they did to you. Then, they ask you, “Really? When did we do so-and-so to you?”

All you have to say is, “You know when it happened,” or “You know when you did it.” Then, simply walk away without looking back.

Again, the trick is to make your response as curt and short as possible. Use as few words as you possibly can. And take a rude tone of voice when you say it.

Sometimes, you have to embarrass your bullies to make them back off.

For instance, when they ask you to explain why you got smart with them, you can ask them, “What are you, five!”

This is a great comeback! Not only are you not allowing those creeps to manipulate you, you’re also adding a touch of shame and humiliation to it.

Moreover, if you’re in public, all the better! With this response, you’re not only calling the bullies out, you’re making them look like punks!

You can also ask them, “Do I have to spell it out for you?”

This comeback is good because, again, it shames the bullies and makes them look like complete idiots. Moreover, it takes their curve-ball question and turns it into a foolish one.

Therefore, you win!

Therefore, you must realize that when bullies pretend not to understand, this is a golden opportunity for you. It’s the perfect opening for you to turn it around on them and hit them in the gut with it.

However, most victims miss this opportunity because of fear and high emotions. But, don’t worry and don’t beat yourself up over it. It isn’t your fault. This happens to the best of us.

Moreover there isn’t a lot of information out there on how to respond to these types of tricks.

How to Stop Over-Explaining:

Sometimes, It’s best not to respond at all.

Some things just don’t need an explanation.

Therefore, if your bullies try to get you to explain yourself, you can just keep walking and pay them no mind. However, be advised. This doesn’t always work.

But, you’ll come out ahead because you understood that over-explaining isn’t necessary. And you didn’t fall into the explaining trap.

In closing:

So, what will happen when you figure out what your bullies are doing?

Once you figure out where all this bullshit comes from, your bullies’ mind-games will no longer affect you. You’ll get bored with all their shenanigans.

Then, you’ll only blow them off with a “whatever,” and keep it moving.

Therefore, you’ll feel much better. And the icing on the cake is that you’ll take the wind out of the bullies’ sails. Moreover, you won’t be any fun to them anymore.

Then, your bullies will finally leave you alone and find some one else to toy around with.

 Therefore, stop thinking you have to explain yourself to those who aren’t worth your time. And stop caring what other people think.

Realize that you deserve so much better. Command the respect you deserve. And if that means you walk away and sever ties with toxic people, then, so be it.

You’re better off without them. So, do whatever you must do to take back your power and your peace of mind.

This post was all about how to stop over-explaining so that you can make yourself less a victim and take back your personal power and your peace of mind.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond

2. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t

3. When You Stop Caring: 9 Positive Results You’ll See

4.  How to Stop Caring What People Think: 9 Powerful Steps

when bullying gets out of control at school

When Bullying Gets Out of Control: 5 Signs You’re in Danger

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‘What happens when bullying gets out of control? Here are all the signs that you’re in danger.

when bullying gets out of control

When bullying reaches new levels, it can feel as if the abuse has taken on a life of it’s own. This is when things become dangerous really fast.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what to look for when bullying gets out of control.

Once you learn all about these signs and symptoms, you will be compelled to make the appropriate decisions to get out of the situation.

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control so that you can take the necessary steps to ensure your safety.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control

When bullies select a victim to abuse, their bullying tends to escalate quickly. Moreover, it can last for years. In fact, others may join in. After so long, people grow comfortable with abusing you. Therefore, bullying becomes a natural occurrence.

When this happens, bullying can become unstoppable no matter what you do to defend yourself. Moreover, things can become dangerous, even life-threatening if you aren’t aware of the signs.

Here are all the signs that the bullying you suffer has reached dangerous levels.

1. Your Bullies Become Brazen

You’ll notice that your bullies getting cocky. They’ll do their bullying out in the open, for everyone to see.

In fact, they’ll no longer try to hide it. Why? Because they fear no consequences.

Those in positions of power won’t stop the bullying. They have no intentions of protecting you. Therefore, there’s little chance they’ll hold the bullies responsible for their behavior.

Make no mistake! When your bullies bully you in plain sight, in front of peers and authority, it’s a bad sign.

It means that you’re in grave danger. Why? Because, when the abuse reaches this level, there’s no limit to the brutality your bullies will inflict.

When bullying gets out of control, there’s no incentive to stop. Then Bullies quickly become full of themselves.

It’s the same with criminals. When there’s no accountability for wrongdoing, it only emboldens them to do more of it.

And their arrogance only sends these unspoken messages:

  • “We can do whatever we want and there’s nothing you can do.”
  • “Who’s going to stop us?”
  • “Who’s going to help you. You’re ours now.”

Most bullies would stop if they thought someone would hold them accountable. Or, they’d at least try to hide their behavior.

No one wants to have to answer for anything. Moreover, they don’t want the shame and humiliation that comes with it.

Therefore, they either wouldn’t do the bad deeds at all, or they would do their dirt behind closed doors.

Lack of accountability only emboldens bad people.

On the other hand, once a bully has gotten away with it a few times, they catch on that there are no consequences. They get the message that what they’re doing is okay.

Therefore, they have no shame in continuing the behavior.

And once there’s complete impunity, it’s no holds barred. In other words, your bullies are unrestrained in what they could do to you.

So, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re shit out of luck.

it sets a precedent.

It sets a bad standard for people who wouldn’t normally mistreat another person. In that, it encourages them to jump on the bandwagon and bully you too.

Why? Because bystanders notice the bullies getting away with abusing you. Therefore, they’ll think it’s okay to bully you. In fact, they’ll think that it’s the in-thing to do. So, they’ll be more than happy to join in on the torment.

It’s the science of group behavior.

2. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

Others become Outraged when you stand up for yourself.

When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, bullies will often retaliate. Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Even bystanders will be pissed at you.

In fact, they either won’t help you or they join in.

Why do bullies become angry when you defend yourself? Because you put them in a weaker position and threaten their power.

Understand that bullies are entitled little twits. They need gratification and satisfaction, and when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

Moreover, it will offend others as well.

Why? Because, once bullying you has become the norm, it’s gone on for a long time. People have grown comfortable with seeing bullies abuse you.

And once people get comfortable with something, they resist anyone that tries to change it.

3. People Believe anything bad about you, no matter how ridiculous the lie may sound.

If you suffer bullying, you’ve probably had bullies tell the most outrageous and ridiculous lies about you. Moreover, the lies may be laughable at best.

And shockingly, everyone in the place will probably believe it! It will seem as if everyone around you is smoking crack.

Why? Because you’ll wonder how they can believe such tripe!

People will believe the big, outlandish lies before they accept the little white lies. For example, others might hear something huge and horrible about a certain person from someone they trust.

Maybe it comes from someone who has a little bit of power. They may feel shock and disbelief at first. However, they’ll eventually believe it.

But, why do they believe it? It’s because the penalty for severe wrongdoing is so big that people don’t want to think that anyone would tell such a big fat lie about someone if there isn’t some truth to it.

When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

IF someone is audacious enough to tell such a bold lie, we’re more likely to believe it.

We cling to the belief that if a person is audacious enough to make such an accusation about another person, then somewhere, there must be evidence to back it up.

Otherwise, they wouldn’t dare make such bold accusations and risk someone proving them wrong!

So, we hold on to the idea that where there’s smoke, there’s fire. Moreover, we allow caution and speculation to supersede any logic. And if we expect trouble to come from a specific place, that’s where we’re going to look.

And when we look for a specific thing, we usually find it.

Also, if a lie goes against the target’s character, we’re more likely to believe it. Why? Because any story of hypocrisy has a certain amount of shock value and entertainment to it. That is, as long as the story is about someone else and not us.

We’re more prone to believe a big fat lie because it frightens the crap out of us. Therefore, when people hear a lie so big and outrageous about you, it makes them wonder if they ever really knew you at all.

And the idea that someone they know could do such a horrible thing scares people to death.

4. You will be emotional and people will weaponize it.

Understand that anytime you suffer bullying, you’re at your absolute worst! Anyone would be a total emotional wreck under that kind of pressure.

Anytime a person is bullied by everyone, it doesn’t matter how strong they are. Moreover, it doesn’t matter how brave, how beautiful, nor how awesome their personalities are.

The bullying will eventually exhaust them and take them down.

In other words, if enough people bully you for long enough, you’ll only be able to withstand it for so long. Why? Because you’re only human. And no human being can hold up under that kind of stress for long.

Bullies instinctively know this. Therefore, if they’re determined to break you, they’ll increase the abuse until they get the outcome they want.

You will be overwhelmed with so many emotions. In fact, you’ll have paranoia. And, with good reason!

Therefore, they’ll twist it and make you look unstable.

And, why not? They’ve seen you morph from a cheerful person to a stressed out, hot mess of a train wreck who’s barely able to function.

5. When Bullying Gets Out of Control:

No One Will Help you.

If you’re a kid that other kids bully in school, you know that schools are supposed to protect children. Moreover, some schools do help targets of bullying.

I’ve read quite a few stories with this happy ending. And to those schools, I extend my love and respect.

However, I’ve also read and heard stories in which the school either failed or refused to help the victim. They only sided with the bullies.

I also found this out years ago from experience. Sadly, this ending is much more common than the first.

Therefore, if you are an object of bullying at your school, do take the proper channels to address the problem. Report the bullying to the teacher, principal, or district.

However, if the school does nothing about it, sweeps it under the rug, or worse, blames you, don’t let it surprise you. And don’t let it shock you if you face retaliation not only from the bullies but from school staff as well.

In most cases, schools side with bullies.

Understand that in these cases where the school doesn’t act on your behalf, it is because the school district has their own interests in mind.

Many schools only care about their sports programs. They care about how many points an athlete can score for their team and getting their teams into the playoffs.

Also, they care about how many kids they can send to colleges.

Another thing to consider is that school bullies likely have connections with several local politicians and other high-ranking officials. Also, many bullies excel academically.

Or, they may be are star athletes. Therefore, they make the school look good.

And if a student makes a school look good, why would they hold them accountable for bullying some throw-away kid?

Seasoned bullies also tend to be exceptionally socially intelligent. In other words, they know how to ingratiate themselves into the good graces of teachers and school staff.

Moreover, they’re also wordsmiths who talk a good game. They’re experts at feigning victimhood when you report them. They’re also good at explaining everything away, and rationalizing their bad behavior.

What they’re best at is making you look like the bully. Therefore, you must thing of these things when the school fails to respond to your pleas for help.

This is why you must do your own investigations and gather your own evidence. You must document each bullying incident to the letter and record it if the laws in your area allow.

But don’t give up. Remember. You are worth fighting for!

This post is all about what happens when bullying gets out of control and how to recognize it so that you can can the appropriate steps needed to ensure your safety.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Stop Victim Blaming: 8 Reasons People Blame Targets for Bullying

2. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

3. Bystanders to Bullying: 5 Reasons They Join In.

4. Deliberate Indifference: 7 Reasons Bystanders Won’t Help Victims

the impacts of bullying at work

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

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‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

the impacts of bullying

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

 And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

  • That you take things wrong.
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • That you had it coming.
  • That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself.  You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire,  but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You creative a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

 Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

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If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

encouraging words for bullying

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. Don’t give up hope! The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

psychological abuse tactics examples

Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

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‘Want to know the psychological abuse tactics most preferred by seasoned bullies. Here are all the psychological methods of expert bullying you need to know about.

psychological abuse tactics

Psychological abuse isn’t visible to the eyes. Therefore, it’s more difficult to provide evidence of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common psychological abuse tactics bullies use so that you can easily spot it, call it by name and describe it to protect yourself from further bullying.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be better to see it as it happens and defend yourself against it.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can avoid it and keep yourself safe from it.

Psychological Abuse Tactics

Seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying over physical bullying. Why? Because this type of bullying offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to any bystanders and witnesses. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

In fact, it can be so subtle that even you, the victim, may not realize it’s happening. Therefore, you’ll never be able to prove that anyone ever bullied you.

Moreover, when you finally get fed up with their crap and report them to the higher-ups, it will be easier for the bullies to deny it. Also, if you stand up to the bullies, they’ll be able to play victim and make you look like the bad guy.

What are the mind games these bullies use?

1. Playing the victim.

Bullies will deliberately instigate an altercation. If you defend yourself, they’ll take your defense and twist it to make you look like the bully.

If the bully is female, she may cry those fake tears to garner sympathy. Consequently, if others aren’t wise to her, they’ll fall for her lies and blame you.

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Weaponizing mental health.

Also, they can use your reaction to their abuse to brand you as mentally unstable. With this tactic, bullies can easily destroy your credibility and reputation.

As a result, your relationships will likely suffer. Even worse, your bullies may then retaliate against you by escalating the harassment later.

3. quiet bullying.

Quiet bullying is bullying by dirty looks and using the silent treatment. Moreover, a quiet bully will use exclusion to bully you.

In the workplace, quiet bullying can happen through micro-managing. Also, a quiet workplace bully can assign impossible workloads and deadlines to a targeted employee.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards. Also, they’re the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment which are well-planned in advance.

4. Subtle Bullying Disguised as concern.

Subtle bullying can also come in the form of glares and the silent treatment. They also use soft smear campaigns.

A soft smear campaign is disguised as concern for your well being. For example, the bully may say something like, “Bless her heart. I’m really concerned about Kathy. I hope she gets the profession help she needs before it’s too late.”

And when you defend yourself against it, the bully can use your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged.

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Subtle bullying disguised as jokes.

Also, subtle bullying can disguise itself as jokes and fun. When you respond to this type of bullying, your bullies will make it look as if you can’t take a joke.

Therefore, understand that these bullies go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty. And they commit their attacks ever so slowly and subtly.

Moreover, they will bully undercover and hide behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

6. Weaponizing their social status.

These type of bullies are often in the popular crowd at school. You’ll also find them in the Good Ole’ Boy clique at work.

These bullies are often able to climb up the social ladder because of their superior social skills.  Also, they have the ability to read people and predict others’ reactions.

To top it off, they have a talent for keeping up appearances.

Therefore, they’re usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers and CEOs. Also, many of them excel in studies and join clubs or sororities/fraternities at school.

Workplace bullies often make themselves out to be high performers at work. How do they do this? They do it by stealing over people’s ideas and taking credit for their work.

These bullies use their popularity as a shield from accountability. Moreover, their extreme likability adds a lot of weight to their words. This is why they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, these bullies likely come from families who have powerful local connections. This is all the more reason these people keep up appearances.

Psychological abuse Tactics:

Bullies with social status may use minions to do their dirty work for them.

Understand that these bullies likely have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty. Therefore, if they want to cause you any physical harm, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them.

Moreover, they will often these minions incentives to get the job done. They may offer them money and social status. Or they may offer them special favors.

Afterward, the followers will have served their purpose. Therefore, the bullies will likely discard them like a used piece of toilet paper.

However understand that most of their followers don’t really like them. Most will only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them. They may hope to get a little bit of power and social status.

7. Using their talent with words.

Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths. Therefore, they’re convincing liars and have the right answer for everything.

They’re good at rationalizing their behavior and justifying their actions. Moreover, these bullies are good at conjuring up a good story. So, they’re great storytellers. You’d think some of them would’ve chosen a career in writing.

8. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Using their social skills to bully those who aren’t as fortunate.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will use their superb social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled. For instance, they may taunt kids with Down’s Syndrome.

They may make fun of students with Cerebral Palsy or Traumatic Brain Injury.  And they’ll push around those with physical ailments, such as Diabetes, heart defects and food allergies.

Even sadder, they may quietly bully people who are paraplegic. However, they won’t be obvious when they bully these people. Why? Because others tend to look down on those who bully those in wheelchairs.

People with weight issues, those with low self-esteem, or those with smaller builds are also fair game to these types of bullies.

Again, psychological bullies are such sniveling cowards. Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable people to push around in the first place.

9. Gaslighting

Bullies gaslight you to brainwash you into believing that you’re losing your mind. Gaslighting always starts out subtle. However, it gradually gets more obvious over time.

Understand that the reason bullies gaslight you is to maintain their power over you. They know that once you get beyond their control, you’re likely to talk about their abuse and expose them for the monsters they are. And they can’t have that!

The term, “gaslighting,” comes from the movie, “Gaslight.” The movie is about a married couple. The husband dims the gaslights, then denies it in a way to make his wife think she’s going cuckoo.

This is why gaslighting is one of the most evil types of abuse.

Psychological Abuse tactics:

Understand that these types of bullies are the most cowardly of all.

Why? Because most of the abuse they dish out is strictly psychological. Moreover, they use these kinds of tactics because they’re afraid that someone just might stand up to them.

These bullies just might run up on somebody who will put them in their place. Even worse, they might do it publicly! 

In conclusion:

Sadly, you may have to go to school or work with these types of people. Therefore, there is no way to avoid them or to go no-contact.

 The best you can do is to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps. Also, you must learn their weaknesses so that you can find a way to expose them for the creeps they are.

This requires getting into the minds of these bullies. To properly defend yourself, you must think as they do, even though it’s not a pleasant place to be. And I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

However, sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are. Then, they’re more likely to back the hell off.

The more you know, the more you’’ll prepare and the better you’ll protect yourself from such people.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can recognize them and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

Bullying the Mentally Ill: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

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It’s a shame that no one wants to talk about bullies bullying the mentally ill.  It’s not even something the media talks about. ‘Want to know about the bullying the mentally ill face? Here are the details and how we can stand up for them.

Also, if you have a mental illness and people are bullying you because of it, you can use this information to stand up for yourself.

bullying the mentally ill

Whether you have a mental illness or not, bullies and human predators can weaponize it. In other words, they can use it to label you.

Remember that bullies search for any defect to use against you. Therefore, if you have a mental illness, you’re especially vulnerable.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies love bullying the mentally ill so that you can be a better advocate for yourself. Moreover, you can better protect someone else if you see them getting bullied.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to defend against bullying based on mental health.

This post is all about bullying the mentally ill so that you can stand against this insidious type of bullying.

Bullying the Mentally Ill

When bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that, even if the person isn’t mentally ill, it can eventually cause them to doubt their own sanity. But understand this right now!

It’s not so much that they think you’re nuts. It’s that they want you to believe it. Why? Because, if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

The mental health label is the easiest for bullies to stick to you. Why? Because, although they can never prove you are, in fact, a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

The mental health label is the easiest to use.

This is why this label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Mentally unstable” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

Bullying the Mentally Ill:

7 Reasons Why bullies Use the Mental Health Label

Sadly, those with mental illness are the easiest to bully. Here’s why.

1. They have the least power.

 Because mental illness comes with a lot of stigma, people who have it are virtually powerless in the social arena. Bullies always target the powerless. Why? Because, without power, you’re at the mercy of everyone around you.

2. they’re least likely to be able to properly defend themselves.

When someone has a mental illness, chances are that they won’t be able to properly stand up to bullies. Put another way, they’ll likely become overly emotional when bullies attack them.

Therefore, other people won’t pay attention to the bullies’ attacks that cause the person to freak out. They’ll focus more on the victim’s emotional reaction.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they take full advantage of it.

3. The mentally ill have the least representation.

The mentally ill are one of the largest minorities in this country. However, they get the least representation. And, without representation, you have no one to speak nor stand in your behalf.

Therefore, this leaves you much more vulnerable than other oppressed groups. Why? Because mental illness is the least visible.

You can see skin color right off. You can’t see mental illness as easily.

4. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Society gives the mentally ill the least credibility.

There’s a lot of stigma that surrounds mental illness and bullies know it. Therefore, they’re experts at using mental health stigma to their advantage.

In other words, if a person is known to have any kind of mental illness, then who’s going to believe them when they report that they’re being bullied?

5. People don’t take them seriously.

When people label you “mentally imbalanced,” chances are that no one will ever take you seriously again. People will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they deemed them a criminal. Why? Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists more seriously.

6. they’re the easiest targets in the world.

It’s no secret that the mentally ill are easy prey for bullies. In fact, you don’t have to have a mental illness. All it takes is for people to think you have one and they can target you for these kinds of bullying.

Therefore, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Moreover, if you do have a mental illness, it just makes it easier for them to label you.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove – especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Why? Because there’s a good chance that any target of bullying will be an emotional wreck because of the chronic abuse they suffer.

The bullies can use your perfectly normal reactions as confirmation of mental illness. And no one else will know the difference. It’s that easy!

7. Bullying the Mentally Ill: 

People can easily weaponize mental illness.

In other words, they can use the target’s mental illness against them. They can use it to discredit them. Also, bullies can use the person’s mental illness to distract others’ attention from their own bad behavior.

Why? Because, if someone is mentally ill, the mental illness will be all people can focus on.

“Oh, my God! She’s going bonkers again!”

Others focus on your reaction rather than what your bullies did to cause it.

8. Those with mental illness are easiest to silence.

Bullies can use mental illness to keep you quiet. If you know that people think you’re cray-cray, you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth.

Why? Because you know that people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just having paranoia.

Moreover, you’ll be too afraid to fight back because if you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor innocent people.

If you begin shouting and cursing people out because they pushed you too far, others will only take it as you having a meltdown. All because you’re just “mentally imbalanced.”

Therefore, the bullies use your reactions to protect themselves from accountability. They can also keep their own reputations spotless as they continue to bully you.

The natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. And people can easily mistake this natural response for mental illness.

9. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Mental Illness is the easiest distraction.

Again, if the victim is known to have a mental illness, then who’s going to pay attention to the bullies when they bully this person. They’ll be too busy focusing on the victim’s reaction rather than the bullies’ behavior that caused it.

It’ll happen when people walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. Moreover, these people will only catch the tail end of the confrontation. Then they’ll draw the wrong conclusions.

Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. They provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely “lost it.” Therefore, any witnesses who happen to walk by will get that impression.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds. If the bully can make you look loony, they get to continue pushing your buttons freely and with impunity.

Moreover, when you defend yourself, passers-by will only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There they go again! They’re having another mental episode!

So, What Should you do in this Situation?

The trick is to stay calm. Emotions are your enemy and bullies will only weaponize it.

Stand up to them but do it in a calm manner! Look them in the eye, and you tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them. They’re not five years old.

Therefore, you don’t owe them any further explanation. Say as little as possible. Just tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”
Then you say, “You know what you did! Now get lost!”

Be firm but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude. However, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

Therefore, the best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while. But eventually, the label will get old and wear itself out.

Then, it will lose it’s effect.

This post was all about bullies who love bullying the mentally ill so that you know how to respond without looking unstable.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

3. Bullied for Being Autistic: 7 Reasons Those with ASD Suffer High Rates of Bullying

4. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

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If you’re being bullied, do you want to know how to go about using your enemy’s attacks against them? Here are all the defense tactics you need to know about.

using your enemy's attacks against themUsing your enemy’s attacks against them is the most strategic thing you can do when you’re being bullied.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how to do this so that you can better defend yourself against bullying.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with and your bullies likely won’t bother you anymore.

This post is all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can emerge a winner and live in peace.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them

You may not think so. But there are ways you can use your enemy’s attacks against them when you’re dealing with bullies. So, how do you do that?

There are several ways.

1. Drag them out.

What do I mean by this?

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.” When you do this, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. In other words, you force them drag out the insults until they sound boring to any bystanders.

I won’t kid you. This technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time you’re attacked, your first instinct will be to jab back with attacks of your own.

However, this will only proves ineffective. And it’ll pull you down to your bullies’ level.

This method works wonders in cases of school bullying. It can be effective in the workplace too. However, it’s much harder and usually takes much longer to have an effect on the job.

Why? Because adults are more tenacious. Also, they’re much stealthier with their bullying than schoolkids are. Therefore, again, this strategy works much better in the school environment.

2. Respond but don’t react.

Respond, yes. But react, no.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking foolish.

Why? Because bullies want you to react. In other words, they want you to attack them back with name-calling, yelling and cursing. Therefore, the trick is to not give them the response they want.

When you refuse to give them the response they want , their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until they get so old and stale that bystanders get so sick of hearing it that they no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the bullies’ fakery. Also, you draw attention to the childishness of their attacks.

In that, you expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they stupidly think is their strength. Therefore, instead of turning their “audience” against you, your bullies end up alienating them.

Why? Because the bullies end up boring the hell out of any bystanders. And why not? They’ve heard the same tired insults for too long.

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Use their emotions against them- hypersensitivity

Bullies are the most hypersensitive people you’ll ever meet. Ha! And they say that you’re too sensitive? Oh yes! Bullies will accuse you of being what they themselves are.

But have you noticed how they explode in anger and indignation over the smallest of perceived slights? Or how bullies, particularly female bullies, will be the ones who dissolve into a puddle of tears if someone even looks at them cross-ways, or says something hurtful to them!

Or worse, they get held accountable for their bad behavior? I saw this happen at school on several occasions and I’ve got to admit, it was hilarious!

In truth, bullies have the sensitivity of the princess in the classic, “The Princess and the Pea.”

The double-standard is clear. It’s funny how bullies feel intense resentment when you speak out about their abuse. Yet, they feel entitled to do things that are a thousand times worse, not to mention, unspeakable, to you.

But we are not supposed to talk about that. Right?

Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, you need to rely less on words and more on others’ actions and behavior. That way, you can get answers to any questions you have about bullies, abusers, or anyone who does not have your best interests in mind.

4. Weaponize your bullies’ triggers.

Here’s how you expose the bullies for the brutes they are. Use their own tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

And I know it’s not a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Here’s how you do it!

1. Get the bullies in public.

In other words, get them in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them.

For instance, you could look at them and smile as if you know something they don’t.  This is a good way to bait them into a reaction.

Then, you can stand back and watch with pleasure as your bullies yell, scream and curse. Moreover, you can enjoy seeing the “what the hell” look on the faces of any bystanders.

And you’ll laugh to yourself as your bullies expose themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

Befriending others the bullies have harmed also has a way of getting under their skin. Bullies hate it when you talk to people they hate as much as they do you.

Also, they especially hate it when their targets unite and form a group! That really ticks them off!

Why? Because, deep down, it intimidates them. Think about it. Bullies always run in packs and they catch their targets when they’re alone.

But when a group of victims ban together, the bullies feel threatened because they lose power. Remember that strength comes in numbers. And numbers scare the hell out of bullies.

In fact, they put them on the defense.

5. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Trick your bullies into coming after you.

This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. Play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited.

In other words, get your bullies to reach to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that you force your bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking that they’re controlling the situation.

However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm.

Calmness always equals the ability to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

Also, when you do get your bullies to come for you, always get them on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get them on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive. Why? Because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. Moreover, they won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

When you bait your bullies, make your bait so sweet that they can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary. This works especially if they’re so pissed at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.”

Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are. Moreover, the angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you. And the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose… right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

But do it with caution, of course.

And if you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, you’ve already won. To quote Sun Tsu, “Never interfere when an enemy is destroying themselves.”

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

This post was all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can expose your bullies without them realizing it and save yourself from future bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Bullies Have Enemies: 3 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage

bullying the disabled people

Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

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‘Want to know the reasons why so many people participate in bullying the disabled? If you are disabled or have a loved one who is, knowledge is the first step of defense. Here are the most common reasons you need to know about.

bullying the disabled

Millions of people with disabilities suffer horrendous bullying every day. It’s bad enough that they must contend with a disability they didn’t ask for. However, it’s much worse when they must face the cruelty of bullies along with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common reasons bullies prefer bullying the disabled people so that you can find out what cowards these people truly are. Moreover, you can use it to give them a dose of their own medicine when you see them target someone with a disability.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to more successfully defend yourself if you fall into this unfortunate category. And if you’re a perfectly healthy person and you see this kind of bullying, you can be an upstander and stand up for the person being bullied.

This post is all about bullying the disabled people and why people target them for cruelty so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to use it against bullies .

Bullying the Disabled

Before we go on, let me tell you that those with disabilities, especially people with mental disabilities, are some of the most resilient people you can find. This is what I’ve discovered.

The Strongest, Purest, and bravest of Souls

…are those with mental disabilities and those with functional needs.

If you’re from my generation, I’m sure you remember the series from the early ’90s, “Life Goes On.”

Therefore, if you remember this television series, then you automatically think of Corky Thatcher. He was the mentally challenged middle child of the Thatcher family, played by Chris Burke.

In fact, he has Down’s Syndrome in real life. Yet, he made it as an actor!

This post isn’t for personal gain. Moreover, chances are that neither Chris Burke nor any of the other cast members or producers will ever read this post.

Therefore, this post is strictly from the heart. Moreover, it’s about something that I’ve noticed on many, many occasions throughout my lifetime.

The Mentally and Intellectually disadvantaged have the purest and sweetest of hearts. However, they live in a world that looks down on them.

They’re the unwanted. People shun, ridicule, and brutalize them all the time. Yet, these angels maintain their smiles and their unconditional kindness.

Moreover, their moral compasses never waiver. They’re innocent, childlike, and have hearts of gold.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Exhibit the Most Resilience

I write books about unsung heroes, who are different and who bullies target daily. But I’ll tell you this:

These courageous, amazing real-life heroes are the best of the human race! I admire their unbreakable will and unshakeable courage.

The mentally disabled have a dogged determination, and amazing ability to keep smiles on their faces even under the most challenging of circumstances!

These are the people who have the fortitude to overcome odds that would be overwhelming to a cast majority of people. And I state this with full conviction.

These beautiful souls also work the lowliest of jobs. In other words, they do jobs that most people think are beneath them. Also, they display the best work ethic, the most dedication, and the most pride in their work. Yet, others treat them the worst and supervisors and coworkers devalue them.

Most Others Don’t Appreciate nor Value Them

These angels have more heart and soul than those who are typical and twice their ages.

You have to wonder how they do it. How do they find the resolve to go up against such tremendous odds every single day?

How do they keep pushing amid jeers, jokes, and cruel insults? Let me remind you. These are situations under which most everyday people would’ve thrown in the towel?

Here’s another reason why I salute the mentally and intellectually challenged. They don’t let on that they even realize it when the rest of the world is showing it’s booty to them.

Moreover, they’re the people who never complain nor feel sorry for themselves. On the other hand, most everyday people only crumble any time life gives them a one-two punch.

Still, people give people with these disabilities the least respect. Others devalue and abuse these people the most- all because they aren’t like them.

Moreover, these are the people who don’t retreat into drugs and alcohol. Instead, they retreat into their work and hobbies. They keep their minds occupied with things that interest them.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Display the Most Talent

I’ve found that these people show the most talent in the arts. Many of them draw and play musical instruments like professionals! Yet, others overlook those talents because of who they belong to!

I don’t claim to know for sure, so I can’t speak for all the mentally and intellectually disabled. However, through my observations over the years, I’ve come to realize this.

Maybe, those with these kinds of disabilities handle adversity with such grace and aplomb is that they’ve accepted it as their normal.

This isn’t to say that they don’t get hurt by it because they have feelings too. Moreover, they have the same desires as everyone else. They want to be loved and accepted for who they are.

We all have the desire to be apart of something and to be included. Humankind is hardwired that way.

But the mentally and intellectually challenged have such a way of bouncing back from years of repeated rejection. They come back to their cheerful selves much quicker! Moreover, they forgive much more readily and easily!

They Forgive the Quickest

That’s what makes them such beautiful souls! They’re the brightest and most brilliant lights in a very dark world! And it will go to their credit and be celebrated in The Afterlife!

Therefore, all I can say to the millions of earth angels is this:

Keep up the good fight! Keep being a shining example to the rest of the world! I love you all!

Bullying The Disabled:

those with Depression and who are neurologically diverse

Bullying disabled people is comparable to racism.

Discrimination is discrimination, and prejudice is prejudice. It doesn’t matter who’s dishing it out or who is receiving it.

Mentally ill people and the mentally disabled are still a minority. In fact, they’re the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation. It doesn’t matter their sex, race, religion, or orientation.

You may think that person is mentally imbalanced and they may not be. However, you’re still guilty of discrimination, prejudice, and bias.

Mentally ill people and those who are disabled are favorite targets of bullies.

Here are 5 reasons bullies target those with disabilities.

1. They are different.

It’s a fact that bullies will bully anyone who is different. It’s no different than being a racial minority, a woman, or being an older citizen.

2. They are least likely to have the ability or know-how to defend themselves.

People with mental illness or other disabilities are the most vulnerable, and bullies take full advantage!

3. Bullying the Disabled:

They don’t have the protections other oppressed groups Have.

In other words, they are the least represented. This makes them even more vulnerable. In fact, this puts them at the mercy of basically everyone!

Again, people with disabilities are the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation.

4. Many People don’t see them as human.

Therefore, they bully and abuse them at will and with impunity. Most people see those with disabilities as a drain on resources and on society.

They see them as contributing nothing to the world and long to be rid of them.

5. Others are least likely to believe them when they report Bullying and Abuse.

Therefore, their bullies and abusers get away with their abuse.

Bullying the Disabled:

The mentally disadvantaged have it even worse!

Other oppressed groups have more legal protections under the law than the mentally disadvantaged. Even those with physical disabilities have more protections.

Therefore, people who target these people, or stand by and watch it happen are no different than card-carrying racists.

There’s a term for this kind of bullying. It’s called Ableism!

Here’s something I’ll bet no one has thought of.

If a person bullies these people, they probably are a racist, homophobe, etc. They only hide it because it’s politically incorrect and against the law.

Moreover, society doesn’t consider it to be as evil or illegal to discriminate against those perceived to be mentally disadvantaged.

Those with mental illness or autism spectrum disorder are safer victims to bully. Therefore, they’re who bullies feel safer to target.

Most bullies are racists and sexists at heart because bullies don’t accept anyone who is not like them. It doesn’t matter what the difference is.

People With Autism Spectrum Disorder.

People with autism and other neurological disorders suffer extremely high rates of victimization and bullying.

It’s bad enough that they must go through life struggling with a disability they have no control over. Even worse, they also struggle with constant cruelty from people in the general population because of that disability.

“A new study finds that children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied for more often than their typically developing peers.” (healthland.time.com)

According to Time Magazine (the above link), 46% of children on the spectrum reported being bullied compared to only 10% of neurotypical kids.

And the statistics are estimated to be even higher. Why? Because many of those with ASD are nonverbal. Also, their inability to read social cues also contributes to the low reports.

They cannot recognize the subtler forms of abuse. Therefore, they can’t report anything they don’t know is occurring.

Bullies quickly zero in on the repetitive behaviors and being highly sensitive to external stimuli. So, there’s another reason. They’re easy victims.

And sadly, bullies think it’s fun to bully them.

It’s important that we teach these people productive ways to defend themselves. Moreover, we must reach out and protect them. Only then will the rates of bullying among these groups go down.

This post is all about bullying the disabled, why bullies target them the most, and what we can do to help these victims.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

the psychology of bullying at school

The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

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‘Want to know the psychology of bullying and all the motivations behind it? Here are all the reasons of bullying you need to know about.

the psychology of bullying

To understand and combat bullying, you must first know the psychology of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the psychology of bullying and all the things that motivate people to bully. Moreover, you will learn the goals and intentions behind it.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better equipped to defend yourself against it.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying so that you become a powerful weapon against any bully who tries to attack you.

The Psychology of Bullying

Straight up. Bullies reap many psychological rewards from bullying their victims. Moreover, it’s those rewards that motivate bullies to bully.

If you’ve fallen victim to bullying, you must know what the motivators for bullying are. Once you know these things, you’ll no longer continue to rack your brain, asking yourself, “Why me?”.

Moreover, any confusion and bewilderment will disappear and you’ll be compelled to stand up for yourself.

7 Things that motivate people to bully

What motivates bullies to bully you? Here are your answers.

1. The Desire for Power, Domination, and control.

Bullies crave power. However, the only way they can get it is by abusing their victims. In other words, the only way they can feel powerful is by dominating and controlling you.

To bullies, it’s an addiction. Power is like a drug to bullies. It gives them a rush but wears off quickly. Therefore, they’ll always come back for more.

You must realize that your bullies will never stop bullying you until you stand up to them.

2. The Psychology of Bullying:

To Cover up Truths that Make Them Uncomfortable.

Bullies may bully you because you may represent facts they don’t like. You may be an authentic person who sees through their bullshit.

Or, you may be the type who tells it like it is. This scares your bullies because there’s a chance you could call them out on their bullshit.

Therefore, they try to intimidate you into staying quiet.

Bullies aren’t concerned with facts. Especially when those facts threaten them.

For instance, let’s say that your bullies have spread all kinds of lies about you. Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes!

They’re fully aware that you aren’t who they say you are. However, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narrative. Therefore, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that your bullies benefit from ruining of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

It takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Why? Because bullies will tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first.

Then they’ll need to lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you.

Lies have a way of building. They build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that?

Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm and play your hand correctly. Do this and your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it.

Then you can sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making.

3. The Psychology of Bullying:

A Bully needs a victim.

Bullies need victims. Why? Because, to appear almighty and powerful, bullies must have someone to subjugate.

If bullies don’t have someone to dominate, they won’t know what to do with themselves. Therefore, don’t be that person.

See the bullying for what it is. It’s only your bullies’ attempts to seem powerful. Then, stand up to them. You must defend yourself, even if you must put up your fists and fight!

Once you begin standing up for yourself, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift.

In other words, you’ll automatically tip the scales of power in your favor. And you will cease to be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower your bullies is to re-empower yourself.

Once you stop being a victim, your bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go search for another victim.

4. Sadism and Schadenfreude.

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world. However, there are people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

They get even more pleasure if the sufferer is someone they despise. Therefore, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it.

They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

And let’s face it. Nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

Therefore, no one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person.

Realize that to sadistic people, bullying others is like pulling the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. Moreover, these types of bullies will come back to bully you again to keep getting that pleasure.

These types of bullies don’t just get their pleasure from bullying you. They also get it from watching you react to the pain.

For instance, psychological bullies will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them. The reaction could be crying or anger.

And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. Sadistic bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water.

5. The Psychology of Bullying:

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing you, every bit of it is proof that they feel threatened.

Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you.

They work twice as hard to keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them.

In other words, you defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to stand up to them too. Then, the bullies would lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

6. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look like punks. This goes double if you do it in front of an audience.

Therefore, this is another reason bullies will retaliate. They do it to punish you. Moreover, this punishment is designed to subdue you and keep you under their power.

To save their “tough” reputations, your bullies must take revenge. Revenge is, is punishment for you and justice for your bullies.

Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits.

They need gratification and satisfaction. And when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

However, don’t cave in. Realize that any time you stand against evil, it always gets worse before it gets better. Therefore, don’t give up. And don’t give in.

Be just as determined to defend yourself as your bullies are to subdue you. In other words, when they double down, so do you.

7. The Psychology of Bullying:

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up. And they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them.

Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly those with narcissism, always discard those they deem to be losers.

On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those bullies see as threats are a lot of hard work. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

Therefore, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. And it isn’t because you’re weak.

It’s because you pose a threat to them somehow. Moreover, that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be subtle.

For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible. Maybe, it’s an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

Nevertheless, you must continue to defend yourself. The last thing you want to do is back down from these assholes.

Continue to stand strong. Refuse to tolerate their abusive behavior. Keep fighting no matter how hard things get.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying to relieve any confusion or bewilderment you may have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

healing from bullying as an adult

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

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Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

healing from bullying

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

 Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this.  In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

confronting bullying at school

Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

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‘Want to know about confronting bullying and the blow back you’ll likely get so that you can be encouraged to stay strong and keep speaking out and defending yourself? Here are all the ways bullies retaliate when you confront their bullying head-on.

confronting bullying

Confronting bullying isn’t easy by any means. Bullies can be intimidating and you may balk at standing up for yourself because you don’t know what the bullies might do. However, bullies are just as humanly vulnerable as you. They just won’t tell you.

This is why you must defend yourself no matter what your bullies may say or do to retaliate. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what comes with confronting bullying so that you will be prepared.

Once you know all about this life-changing information, you will be compelled to keep your wits about you and confront bullying no matter how intimidating the bullies are.

Confronting Bullying

Confronting bullying can be one of the scariest things to do. However, if you want to ensure your safety later, it’s something you must do.

You know bullying when you feel it.

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Bullies and others will often confuse and mislead you. They will tell you that no one is bullying you. Maybe they’ll accuse you of having paranoia.

When you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing or dismissing what you just experienced. They may tell you, “it’s only in your mind” or accuse you of being too sensitive.

If you’re not careful, they may even convince you of it! This will only force you to endure the torment in silence. Bullying feeds on silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, people will let the bully off the hook. Even worse, they’ll be free to target you again in the future. The bully gets the message that it’s okay to target you.

So, they’ll bully you simply because they can. And they do it with impunity.

After so long, you’ll begin  to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. You’ll then question your own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.”

Moreover, you’ll grow silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “having paranoia,” “unhinged” or “overly sensitive.”

However, know that these labels mean to undermine and steal your voice.

Confronting Bullying:

It’s Not Only In Your Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Therefore, always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can sense it. Moreover, you can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth. Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out!

Why? Because they aren’t worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Also, setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

Confronting Bullying:

Don’t be afraid of your bullies’ reactions to your speaking out.

When you begin speaking out about your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. In other words, you put them in defense mode.

This is when they’ll do one, some, or all of four things.

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

See it for what it is. You just forced them to reveal their true colors. Any time your bullies get outraged and attack you , that’s when you know you’ve busted them.

Again, you’ve forced them to out themselves! Yay for you!

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They’ll swear up and down they never bullied or mistreated you.

They may even throw out subtle hints that you must’ve misinterpreted them. They’ll claim that you “have everything misconstrued.”

Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is gaslighting. Moreover, it speaks volumes about their character.

3. Confronting Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you call out their abuse, is the second bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others. Therefore, they’ll tell everyone who will listen what a lying, lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control.

They’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face. The last thing bullies want is for you to expose them.

Most of the time, your bullies will tell others that you’re experiencing some sort of mental episode. This is the classic reaction of abusers. They always attack your mental health.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

See this as an admission of guilt.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared.

However, this is the best outcome. If they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

So, the last thing they want is to do anything that will make them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, yes. However, they’re making the smartest move by simply staying away from you. They’ll even avoid mentioning your name.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others.

Or, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in different ways. They may use one or all of the above measures to discredit you.

Confronting Bullying:

Bullies count on you staying quiet about their abuse.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even former bullies, count on your silence. In fact, they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because they risk losing respect in the community. The last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies make everything about appearances. Therefore, when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make the following statements.

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, they may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

However, your bullies have other objectives as well:

  • Bullies say these things to minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • Also, they want to make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • And, to cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

Therefore, don’t be afraid. Instead, see through it all and let them launch their personal attacks.

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point. When you speak out about the abuse, you force your bullies to explain themselves.

Anyone who must explain and justify themselves is never in a powerful position.

So, in forcing your bullies to explain themselves you instantly snatch them out of their position of power. You move them into a position of vulnerability.

In other words, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a very helpless and subordinate place. In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

Confronting Bullying:

Power doesn’t explain itself.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their power. And their perceived authority disappears with it.

Why? Because neither power nor authority explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

Hence the reason bullies despise even the thought of having to give explanations. It puts them in a weak and subordinate position.

No wonder bullies get nuts when you out them!

This post is all about confronting bullying and everything that comes with it so that you can gather the courage to take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

4. What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

bullying and gaslighting at work

Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

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‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.

bullying and gaslighting

Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.

Bullying and Gaslighting

Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.

Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.

Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.

And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.

Psychological Rewards of Bullying.

We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?

When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.

 Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.

Bullying and Gaslighting:

How Gaslighting Starts

When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.

And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.

Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.

Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.

Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.

7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

1. Persistent lying

Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.

I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.

Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,

  • “He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
  • “She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
  • “She brought it all on herself!”

However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.

They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?

Bullying and Gaslighting:

What Your Bullies Will Say to You

  • “What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
  • “I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
  • “You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
  • “Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
  • “You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
  • “You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
  • “Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”

I could go on and on.

Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.

However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.

In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.

As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks

You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.

2. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.

Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying.  But, understand that they do this for a reason.

And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.

Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.

As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.

3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse

Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.

Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.

4. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Blaming and Shaming You

Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.

They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.

5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)

Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.

Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.

If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.

Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.

But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.

If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.

They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.

6. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.

Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.

Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!

In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.

And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.

And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!

Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!

7. Making Empty Promises

Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.

  • “If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
  • “Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
  • “If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”

Don’t you believe any of it!

You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.

Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.

Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.

Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!

Bullying and Gaslighting:

So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?

1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!

Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.

However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!

The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of