Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

April 18, 2025April 17, 2025Leave a comment

‘Want to know the reasons why so many people participate in bullying the disabled? If you are disabled or have a loved one who is, knowledge is the first step of defense. Here are the most common reasons you need to know about.

Millions of people with disabilities suffer horrendous bullying every day. It’s bad enough that they must contend with a disability they didn’t ask for. However, it’s much worse when they must face the cruelty of bullies along with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common reasons bullies prefer bullying the disabled people so that you can find out what cowards these people truly are. Moreover, you can use it to give them a dose of their own medicine when you see them target someone with a disability.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to more successfully defend yourself if you fall into this unfortunate category. And if you’re a perfectly healthy person and you see this kind of bullying, you can be an upstander and stand up for the person being bullied.

This post is all about bullying the disabled people and why people target them for cruelty so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to use it against bullies .

Bullying the Disabled

Before we go on, let me tell you that those with disabilities, especially people with mental disabilities, are some of the most resilient people you can find. This is what I’ve discovered.

The Strongest, Purest, and bravest of Souls

…are those with mental disabilities and those with functional needs.

If you’re from my generation, I’m sure you remember the series from the early ’90s, “Life Goes On.”

Therefore, if you remember this television series, then you automatically think of Corky Thatcher. He was the mentally challenged middle child of the Thatcher family, played by Chris Burke.

In fact, he has Down’s Syndrome in real life. Yet, he made it as an actor!

This post isn’t for personal gain. Moreover, chances are that neither Chris Burke nor any of the other cast members or producers will ever read this post.

Therefore, this post is strictly from the heart. Moreover, it’s about something that I’ve noticed on many, many occasions throughout my lifetime.

The Mentally and Intellectually disadvantaged have the purest and sweetest of hearts. However, they live in a world that looks down on them.

They’re the unwanted. People shun, ridicule, and brutalize them all the time. Yet, these angels maintain their smiles and their unconditional kindness.

Moreover, their moral compasses never waiver. They’re innocent, childlike, and have hearts of gold.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Exhibit the Most Resilience

I write books about unsung heroes, who are different and who bullies target daily. But I’ll tell you this:

These courageous, amazing real-life heroes are the best of the human race! I admire their unbreakable will and unshakeable courage.

The mentally disabled have a dogged determination, and amazing ability to keep smiles on their faces even under the most challenging of circumstances!

These are the people who have the fortitude to overcome odds that would be overwhelming to a cast majority of people. And I state this with full conviction.

These beautiful souls also work the lowliest of jobs. In other words, they do jobs that most people think are beneath them. Also, they display the best work ethic, the most dedication, and the most pride in their work. Yet, others treat them the worst and supervisors and coworkers devalue them.

Most Others Don’t Appreciate nor Value Them

These angels have more heart and soul than those who are typical and twice their ages.

You have to wonder how they do it. How do they find the resolve to go up against such tremendous odds every single day?

How do they keep pushing amid jeers, jokes, and cruel insults? Let me remind you. These are situations under which most everyday people would’ve thrown in the towel?

Here’s another reason why I salute the mentally and intellectually challenged. They don’t let on that they even realize it when the rest of the world is showing it’s booty to them.

Moreover, they’re the people who never complain nor feel sorry for themselves. On the other hand, most everyday people only crumble any time life gives them a one-two punch.

Still, people give people with these disabilities the least respect. Others devalue and abuse these people the most- all because they aren’t like them.

Moreover, these are the people who don’t retreat into drugs and alcohol. Instead, they retreat into their work and hobbies. They keep their minds occupied with things that interest them.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Display the Most Talent

I’ve found that these people show the most talent in the arts. Many of them draw and play musical instruments like professionals! Yet, others overlook those talents because of who they belong to!

I don’t claim to know for sure, so I can’t speak for all the mentally and intellectually disabled. However, through my observations over the years, I’ve come to realize this.

Maybe, those with these kinds of disabilities handle adversity with such grace and aplomb is that they’ve accepted it as their normal.

This isn’t to say that they don’t get hurt by it because they have feelings too. Moreover, they have the same desires as everyone else. They want to be loved and accepted for who they are.

We all have the desire to be apart of something and to be included. Humankind is hardwired that way.

But the mentally and intellectually challenged have such a way of bouncing back from years of repeated rejection. They come back to their cheerful selves much quicker! Moreover, they forgive much more readily and easily!

They Forgive the Quickest

That’s what makes them such beautiful souls! They’re the brightest and most brilliant lights in a very dark world! And it will go to their credit and be celebrated in The Afterlife!

Therefore, all I can say to the millions of earth angels is this:

Keep up the good fight! Keep being a shining example to the rest of the world! I love you all!

Bullying The Disabled:

those with Depression and who are neurologically diverse

Bullying disabled people is comparable to racism.

Discrimination is discrimination, and prejudice is prejudice. It doesn’t matter who’s dishing it out or who is receiving it.

Mentally ill people and the mentally disabled are still a minority. In fact, they’re the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation. It doesn’t matter their sex, race, religion, or orientation.

You may think that person is mentally imbalanced and they may not be. However, you’re still guilty of discrimination, prejudice, and bias.

Mentally ill people and those who are disabled are favorite targets of bullies.

Here are 5 reasons bullies target those with disabilities.

1. They are different.

It’s a fact that bullies will bully anyone who is different. It’s no different than being a racial minority, a woman, or being an older citizen.

2. They are least likely to have the ability or know-how to defend themselves.

People with mental illness or other disabilities are the most vulnerable, and bullies take full advantage!

3. Bullying the Disabled:

They don’t have the protections other oppressed groups Have.

In other words, they are the least represented. This makes them even more vulnerable. In fact, this puts them at the mercy of basically everyone!

Again, people with disabilities are the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation.

4. Many People don’t see them as human.

Therefore, they bully and abuse them at will and with impunity. Most people see those with disabilities as a drain on resources and on society.

They see them as contributing nothing to the world and long to be rid of them.

5. Others are least likely to believe them when they report Bullying and Abuse.

Therefore, their bullies and abusers get away with their abuse.

Bullying the Disabled:

The mentally disadvantaged have it even worse!

Other oppressed groups have more legal protections under the law than the mentally disadvantaged. Even those with physical disabilities have more protections.

Therefore, people who target these people, or stand by and watch it happen are no different than card-carrying racists.

There’s a term for this kind of bullying. It’s called Ableism!

Here’s something I’ll bet no one has thought of.

If a person bullies these people, they probably are a racist, homophobe, etc. They only hide it because it’s politically incorrect and against the law.

Moreover, society doesn’t consider it to be as evil or illegal to discriminate against those perceived to be mentally disadvantaged.

Those with mental illness or autism spectrum disorder are safer victims to bully. Therefore, they’re who bullies feel safer to target.

Most bullies are racists and sexists at heart because bullies don’t accept anyone who is not like them. It doesn’t matter what the difference is.

People With Autism Spectrum Disorder.

People with autism and other neurological disorders suffer extremely high rates of victimization and bullying.

It’s bad enough that they must go through life struggling with a disability they have no control over. Even worse, they also struggle with constant cruelty from people in the general population because of that disability.

“A new study finds that children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied for more often than their typically developing peers.” (healthland.time.com)

According to Time Magazine (the above link), 46% of children on the spectrum reported being bullied compared to only 10% of neurotypical kids.

And the statistics are estimated to be even higher. Why? Because many of those with ASD are nonverbal. Also, their inability to read social cues also contributes to the low reports.

They cannot recognize the subtler forms of abuse. Therefore, they can’t report anything they don’t know is occurring.

Bullies quickly zero in on the repetitive behaviors and being highly sensitive to external stimuli. So, there’s another reason. They’re easy victims.

It’s important that we teach these people productive ways to defend themselves. Moreover, we must reach out and protect them. Only then will the rates of bullying among these groups go down.

This post is all about bullying the disabled, why bullies target them the most, and what we can do to help these victims.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

April 16, 2025April 17, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know the psychology of bullying and all the motivations behind it? Here are all the reasons of bullying you need to know about.

To understand and combat bullying, you must first know the psychology of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the psychology of bullying and all the things that motivate people to bully. Moreover, you will learn the goals and intentions behind it.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better equipped to defend yourself against it.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying so that you become a powerful weapon against any bully who tries to attack you.

The Psychology of Bullying

Straight up. Bullies reap many psychological rewards from bullying their victims. Moreover, it’s those rewards that motivate bullies to bully.

If you’ve fallen victim to bullying, you must know what the motivators for bullying are. Once you know these things, you’ll no longer continue to rack your brain, asking yourself, “Why me?”.

Moreover, any confusion and bewilderment will disappear and you’ll be compelled to stand up for yourself.

7 Things that motivate people to bully

What motivates bullies to bully you? Here are your answers.

1. The Desire for Power, Domination, and control.

Bullies crave power. However, the only way they can get it is by abusing their victims. In other words, the only way they can feel powerful is by dominating and controlling you.

To bullies, it’s an addiction. Power is like a drug to bullies. It gives them a rush but wears off quickly. Therefore, they’ll always come back for more.

You must realize that your bullies will never stop bullying you until you stand up to them.

2. The Psychology of Bullying:

To Cover up Truths that Make Them Uncomfortable.

Bullies may bully you because you may represent facts they don’t like. You may be an authentic person who sees through their bullshit.

Or, you may be the type who tells it like it is. This scares your bullies because there’s a chance you could call them out on their bullshit.

Therefore, they try to intimidate you into staying quiet.

Bullies aren’t concerned with facts. Especially when those facts threaten them.

For instance, let’s say that your bullies have spread all kinds of lies about you. Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes!

They’re fully aware that you aren’t who they say you are. However, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narrative. Therefore, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that your bullies benefit from ruining of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

It takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Why? Because bullies will tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first.

Then they’ll need to lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you.

Lies have a way of building. They build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that?

Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm and play your hand correctly. Do this and your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it.

Then you can sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making.

3. The Psychology of Bullying:

A Bully needs a victim.

Bullies need victims. Why? Because, to appear almighty and powerful, bullies must have someone to subjugate.

If bullies don’t have someone to dominate, they won’t know what to do with themselves. Therefore, don’t be that person.

See the bullying for what it is. It’s only your bullies’ attempts to seem powerful. Then, stand up to them. You must defend yourself, even if you must put up your fists and fight!

Once you begin standing up for yourself, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift.

In other words, you’ll automatically tip the scales of power in your favor. And you will cease to be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower your bullies is to re-empower yourself.

Once you stop being a victim, your bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go search for another victim.

4. Sadism and Schadenfreude.

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world. However, there are people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

They get even more pleasure if the sufferer is someone they despise. Therefore, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it.

They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

And let’s face it. Nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

Therefore, no one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person.

Realize that to sadistic people, bullying others is like pulling the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. Moreover, these types of bullies will come back to bully you again to keep getting that pleasure.

These types of bullies don’t just get their pleasure from bullying you. They also get it from watching you react to the pain.

For instance, psychological bullies will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them. The reaction could be crying or anger.

And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. Sadistic bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water.

5. The Psychology of Bullying:

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing you, every bit of it is proof that they feel threatened.

Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you.

They work twice as hard to keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them.

In other words, you defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to stand up to them too. Then, the bullies would lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

6. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look like punks. This goes double if you do it in front of an audience.

Therefore, this is another reason bullies will retaliate. They do it to punish you. Moreover, this punishment is designed to subdue you and keep you under their power.

To save their “tough” reputations, your bullies must take revenge. Revenge is, is punishment for you and justice for your bullies.

Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits.

They need gratification and satisfaction. And when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

However, don’t cave in. Realize that any time you stand against evil, it always gets worse before it gets better. Therefore, don’t give up. And don’t give in.

Be just as determined to defend yourself as your bullies are to subdue you. In other words, when they double down, so do you.

7. The Psychology of Bullying:

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up. And they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them.

Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly those with narcissism, always discard those they deem to be losers.

On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those bullies see as threats are a lot of hard work. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

Therefore, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. And it isn’t because you’re weak.

It’s because you pose a threat to them somehow. Moreover, that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be subtle.

For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible. Maybe, it’s an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

Nevertheless, you must continue to defend yourself. The last thing you want to do is back down from these assholes.

Continue to stand strong. Refuse to tolerate their abusive behavior. Keep fighting no matter how hard things get.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying to relieve any confusion or bewilderment you may have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

April 15, 2025April 2, 20254 Comments

Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this. In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

April 14, 2025April 6, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know about confronting bullying and the blow back you’ll likely get so that you can be encouraged to stay strong and keep speaking out and defending yourself? Here are all the ways bullies retaliate when you confront their bullying head-on.

Confronting bullying isn’t easy by any means. Bullies can be intimidating and you may balk at standing up for yourself because you don’t know what the bullies might do. However, bullies are just as humanly vulnerable as you. They just won’t tell you.

This is why you must defend yourself no matter what your bullies may say or do to retaliate. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what comes with confronting bullying so that you will be prepared.

Once you know all about this life-changing information, you will be compelled to keep your wits about you and confront bullying no matter how intimidating the bullies are.

Confronting Bullying

Confronting bullying can be one of the scariest things to do. However, if you want to ensure your safety later, it’s something you must do.

You know bullying when you feel it.

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Bullies and others will often confuse and mislead you. They will tell you that no one is bullying you. Maybe they’ll accuse you of having paranoia.

When you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing or dismissing what you just experienced. They may tell you, “it’s only in your mind” or accuse you of being too sensitive.

If you’re not careful, they may even convince you of it! This will only force you to endure the torment in silence. Bullying feeds on silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, people will let the bully off the hook. Even worse, they’ll be free to target you again in the future. The bully gets the message that it’s okay to target you.

So, they’ll bully you simply because they can. And they do it with impunity.

After so long, you’ll begin to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. You’ll then question your own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.”

Moreover, you’ll grow silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “having paranoia,” “unhinged” or “overly sensitive.”

However, know that these labels mean to undermine and steal your voice.

Confronting Bullying:

It’s Not Only In Your Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Therefore, always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can sense it. Moreover, you can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth. Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out!

Why? Because they aren’t worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Also, setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

Confronting Bullying:

Don’t be afraid of your bullies’ reactions to your speaking out.

When you begin speaking out about your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. In other words, you put them in defense mode.

This is when they’ll do one, some, or all of four things.

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

See it for what it is. You just forced them to reveal their true colors. Any time your bullies get outraged and attack you , that’s when you know you’ve busted them.

Again, you’ve forced them to out themselves! Yay for you!

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They’ll swear up and down they never bullied or mistreated you.

They may even throw out subtle hints that you must’ve misinterpreted them. They’ll claim that you “have everything misconstrued.”

Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is gaslighting. Moreover, it speaks volumes about their character.

3. Confronting Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you call out their abuse, is the second bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others. Therefore, they’ll tell everyone who will listen what a lying, lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control.

They’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face. The last thing bullies want is for you to expose them.

Most of the time, your bullies will tell others that you’re experiencing some sort of mental episode. This is the classic reaction of abusers. They always attack your mental health.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

See this as an admission of guilt.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared.

However, this is the best outcome. If they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

So, the last thing they want is to do anything that will make them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, yes. However, they’re making the smartest move by simply staying away from you. They’ll even avoid mentioning your name.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others.

Or, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in different ways. They may use one or all of the above measures to discredit you.

Confronting Bullying:

Bullies count on you staying quiet about their abuse.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even former bullies, count on your silence. In fact, they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because they risk losing respect in the community. The last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies make everything about appearances. Therefore, when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make the following statements.

“Well, we were just kids then.”
“But that’s all water under the bridge.”
“Just let bygones be bygones.”
”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, they may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

However, your bullies have other objectives as well:

Bullies say these things to minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
Also, they want to make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
And, to cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

Therefore, don’t be afraid. Instead, see through it all and let them launch their personal attacks.

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point. When you speak out about the abuse, you force your bullies to explain themselves.

Anyone who must explain and justify themselves is never in a powerful position.

So, in forcing your bullies to explain themselves you instantly snatch them out of their position of power. You move them into a position of vulnerability.

In other words, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a very helpless and subordinate place. In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

Confronting Bullying:

Power doesn’t explain itself.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their power. And their perceived authority disappears with it.

Why? Because neither power nor authority explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

Hence the reason bullies despise even the thought of having to give explanations. It puts them in a weak and subordinate position.

No wonder bullies get nuts when you out them!

This post is all about confronting bullying and everything that comes with it so that you can gather the courage to take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

4. What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

April 10, 2025April 4, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.

Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.

Bullying and Gaslighting

Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.

Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.

Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.

And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.

Psychological Rewards of Bullying.

We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?

When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.

Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.

Bullying and Gaslighting:

How Gaslighting Starts

When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.

And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.

Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.

Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.

Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.

7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

1. Persistent lying

Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.

I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.

Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,

“He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
“She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
“She brought it all on herself!”

However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.

They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?

Bullying and Gaslighting:

What Your Bullies Will Say to You

“What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
“I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
“You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
“Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
“You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
“You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
“Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”

I could go on and on.

Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.

However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.

In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.

As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks

You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.

2. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.

Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying. But, understand that they do this for a reason.

And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.

Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.

As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.

3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse

Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.

Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.

4. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Blaming and Shaming You

Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.

They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.

5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)

Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.

Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.

If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.

Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.

But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.

If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.

They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.

6. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.

Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.

Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!

In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.

And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.

And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!

Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!

7. Making Empty Promises

Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.

“If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
“Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
“If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”

Don’t you believe any of it!

You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.

Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.

Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.

Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!

Bullying and Gaslighting:

So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?

1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!

Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.

However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!

The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

facts about respect for yourself and others

Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

April 8, 2025April 8, 20252 Comments

Do you want to know the facts about respect and the purpose of it? Here are the nine truths of respect that you need to know.

Today, people, especially bullies, seem to think that they’re entitled to respect they never earn. Moreover, victims of bullying have a self-depreciating habit of giving respect to those who don’t return it.

As someone who’s been on both sides of the fence, I’m giving you truths about respect that I had to learn the hard way.

You will learn all the facts about respect and what they mean.

Once you learn all these truths, you will be more selective with who you give respect to and who to withhold it from. Also, you will know more about how to gain respect so that you can live in peace and harmony and get along better with others.

This post gives the facts about respect that every target of bullying must know about.

Facts About Respect

It’s true that we should remain humble. However, sadly, most people these days think that they’re entitled to respect simply because they exist. This especially describes those with even a little bit of power.

However, at the end of the day, no one is any better or more important than the next person. Having a degree of humility is a virtue. Why? Because we all have weaknesses, imperfections, and shortcomings.

Everyone, no matter how great, has limitations and must know what their limitations are.

Therefore, you must respect the people who respect you. On the other hand, you must also respect yourself enough to walk away from those who disrespect you.

You Must Respect yourself also.

Self-respect– it sounds good. It’s so pleasing to the ears.

However, it’s difficult to master and sometimes takes a lifetime to develop, especially if you’ve ever been a target of bullying and abuse.

When people bully, abuse, and gaslight you, it can often compel you to seek approval. Consequently, you might do some pretty drastic things to get that approval.

Sadly, many people never master self-respect because they’re under the presumption that life’s all about having a truckload of friends. Moreover, they may be obsessed with having huge wads of cash or getting all the girls.

Bullies are all about having power. Moreover, they believe that life’s all about being popular, or pretty. They aren’t satisfied unless they can be the king of the mountain, or the baddest mother on the block.

These are the bullies- the people who are constantly trying to prove themselves to others. That’s not self-respect.

Facts about respect and about Self-Respect

When you have self-respect, none of the superficial stuff interests you. Therefore, you don’t feel the need to perform cartwheels and showboat.

You feel good about yourself and there’s no need to prove your worth to the rest of the world. Why? Because you could care less what anyone else thinks.

Self-respect means treating yourself like you want others to treat you. Moreover, how well you treat yourself is determined by how you allow others to behave toward you.

You choose what you will and will not accept. Therefore, it means not settling for anything less than what you know you want and deserve.

Self-respect means taking care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit.

It means knowing who you are, what you want, what heights you’re capable of. Moreover, it means believing in yourself and never doubting what you can achieve.

In other words, it means refusing to allow bullies and abusers to convince you that you should hate yourself. Also, it means refusing the desperation to please, appease, and impress others and knowing that the only Person you should seek approval from is God Himself.

Self-respect means knowing your worth. In other words, you know the value you bring to the lives of others. Moreover, that belief stands regardless of what a few toxic people may think or say.

You continue to stay true to your values, beliefs, and convictions, whether or not they’re popular.

It means accepting and embracing everything that is you. This includes your age, sex, race, nationality, creed, body composition, weight, height, looks, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

Facts About Respect:

What happens when you give respect to those who haven’t earned it from you?

Never respect anyone who doesn’t respect you back. Why? Because when you do, it’s not self-respect. What it is, is self-abuse.

Anytime you give unearned respect, it only reeks of desperation. In other words, when you give respect to people who don’t respect you, you allow yourself to be a slave, a prisoner, a whipping boy.

To put it bluntly, you make yourself somebody’s bitch. You put your value, and sometimes, your life, in someone else’s hands.

Never take the respect others give you for granted.

Whereas, never take the respect you get from others for granted. Again, respect isn’t something you’re entitled to. It’s not automatic, and to think you’re owed such a commodity without earning it is arrogance. It means you’re a pompous, self-serving turd who’s full of yourself.

Bullies are people who demand respect but have none for anyone else. Therefore, here is what they fail to realize:

People may act like they respect them to their faces. However, once the bullies are away and out of earshot, people will gather and talk mad trash about them behind their backs. T

Others will know the truth. That the bullies are only self-satisfied pieces of crap who think they’re entitled. And people will call them exactly what they are and laugh at them in secret.

Here are the 9 facts about bullying you must know.

**1.Respect is earned, not freely given.**

Respect is not an entitlement! No! it is something you must give to get. Understand that everyone has a space to fill, even you.

Moreover, it is either mutual or none at all and there’s no in-between. Respect is a two-way street. Always!

2. Like love, respect is something money can’t buy.

It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Besides, your money is something you can never take with you when you go. Neither can you take your power nor your prestige.

We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

3. Facts about respect:

You cannot demand it nor get it through bullying and instilling fear in others.

Only gangs and mobsters demand respect- all while giving none in return. These people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others, then have the chutzpah to demand respect from the very people they harm.

However, as mentioned earlier, people don’t respect them. They only act like they do. And believe me, they will talk smack once the bullies turn their backs.

4. Respect is something you must sometimes stand up and fight for.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, bullies. In other words, people who think they’re superior and that you’re their personal property.

Those who are evil will try to manipulate you. Moreover, they’ll disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries.

They will especially do this if you’re young and aren’t experienced enough to know how the world operates. Therefore, it’s imperative that you set firm boundaries and walk away from such people.

5. Facts about respect:

Respect isn’t something you should ever have to ask nor (gasp!) beg for.

If you’ve earned it and already give respect, it should come back to you naturally. However, if you must ask or beg for it, you’re with the wrong people.

Therefore, ditch these creeps without looking back. Love yourself enough to walk away and find better quality people to keep company with.

6. Respect is a two-way street.

Like anything else, it’s a give and take. Again, no one is entitled to it, they must earn it. In order to get respect, you must give it, and that includes giving it to yourself too.

7. Facts about respect:

Respect and like are different.

When you like someone, it means you share common ground with them and like having them around. On the other hand, when you respect someone, you have regard for their human rights or you have a certain reverence toward them because of their knowledge, wisdom or position.

You can have respect for someone you may not necessarily like. For example, if you’re a recruit, you may not like your hard-nosed drill sergeant, but you know to respect them. Moreover, your mother may do things that make you not like her at times, but you respect her.

Therefore, this is the difference between like and respect.

8. Respect has a purpose.

Respect is there to ensure that humans can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of all living creatures.

On the other hand, if there’s no respect, there’s no regard for the safety of others. Therefore, without it, there can only be anarchy and lawlessness.

Why? because people who don’t respect you will violate your boundaries and jeopardize your safety every chance they get.

When people disrespect you, they do it out of self-interest:

1.To feel superior

2. To look cool

3. To look tough

4. To look bigger and better

5. To boast their egos

6. To assuage feelings of insecurity and inferiority

7. To look and feel powerful

8. To feel better about themselves

9. Facts about respect:

Respect is easily lost but harder to gain.

It take a while to earn respect and you must either work or contribute something to get it. Respect can take years to build.

However, it takes a split second to lose it. One wrong statement or one wrong decision can instantly destroy any respect you once had.

Moreover, bullies can unjustly take it from you. They can smear and defame you with lies and ugly rumors. They can destroy your reputation, causing others to lose the respect they once had. Unfortunately, this happens a lot these days.

Therefore, you must do everything you can to protect the respect you get and never take it for granted. Moreover, if bullies steal it from you, you must continue to do and say things which are respectful to others no matter what.

In time, people may see your actions and realize that you’re not so bad. Even better, they may see your bullies for the liars they are and things may turn around for you. This also happens as well.

this post gave you the facts about respect to teach you what it is, how you earn it, and how to keep it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

April 7, 2025April 4, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know all about bullying and psychological conditioning? Also, would you like to know how they relate? Here is everything you need to know about.

Bullying is just another form of abuse. As with any kind of abuse, it has the power to condition if you let it. In other words, bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you’ll recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will not only be able to know the symptoms of the conditioning that comes with bullying, you will be able to more effectively defend against it.

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you can better recognize it and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

If you endure bullying long enough, it can slowly reprogram your mind and turn you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. It will blind you to your value as a human being. It will hijack your brain and cause you to see yourself through the lens of your bullies.

Then, you will loath yourself just as your bullies do. This is what you don’t want!

So, how do bullying and psychological conditioning relate and what does it do?

Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullying conditions you gradually and incrementally – bit by tiny bit. In the beginning it’s so subtle that you don’t even know you’re being brainwashed.

Bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of the your self-esteem. Moreover, during the first few weeks or months, they increase the abuse ever so slowly.

Bullies do this step by itsy-bitsy step. Again, this happens so slowly and such tiny increments that you don’t know what’s happening.

Yet, something deep in the pit of your gut tells you that something is off. All you know is that something doesn’t feel too good. However, you can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s that subtle!

This is your gut instinct trying to warn you. Therefore, this is your first clue.

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Your body will Tell You if you pay attention to it.

Here how this happens.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you pick up some really creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. You may look up from whatever you’re doing and see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. You’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

The Process of Escalation

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing to see how you respond or react to their subtle slights and digs.

If you react the way they predict or you don’t react at all, bullies will see this as a green light.

Next, they’ll begin committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you up for bigger attacks. They make the abuse virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t anymore.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so severe and out of control that the bullies and their minions can no longer help themselves. In fact, they’ve already gotten brazen with their attacks.

In other words, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Along the way, they’ve stopped putting in the work to hide it.

Why? Because, by now, they’ve gotten away with it for so long that there’s no incentive to stop?

Therefore, by the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying the target. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to bullying and abusing you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to defend yourself.

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

What happens if you wait to long to stand up to bullies?

When the target finally gets fed up and begins asserting themselves, bullies will only double down on the attacks. They communicate through their actions that they don’t give a damn about your rights as a human being.

Your pain will mean nothing to them. They’ll only see you as a victim and they’ll damn well make sure you stay a victim.

And why not? For so long, your bullies have gotten a payoff from abusing you. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

Therefore, when you finally begin defending yourself at this stage in the game, here’s what happens. Bullies and everyone else only responds with outrage. The unwritten message is, “How dare you!”

Bullies get super offended when anyone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. So, they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Because, how dare you try to take away their fun? It doesn’t matter if they’ve been getting it at your expense.

Again, bullying and conditioning starts out small and subtle. Therefore, you must learn how to recognize it when it first begins.

Why? Because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.

I can’t stress this enough.

The one thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes they put out. So, pay attention.

3. The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Our environments determine our mental health.

The environments you spend the most time in has ways of molding and shaping you. This goes especially during your formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment will likely grow up to be an abusive adult. Moreover, they may grow up to be a weak and powerless victim to human predators.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) is the most impressionable and it determines their future!

Yes. There are exceptions. A few kids do develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. These are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most aren’t that lucky, and it’s sad.

You have three types of environments:

Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in, will the one that likely conditions you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer if you aren’t careful!

For example, a certain school kid lives in a loving and healthy home. However, his classmates at school bully him mercilessly.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

4. Bullied Kids Spend most of their waking hours in school. let’s do the math.

A child or teen who is growing must have around 10 hours of sleep per day. Therefore, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours and you’re left with 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Next, we must factor in commuting time on the school bus. For the average schoolkid, this equals 30 minutes to 1 hour, one way.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the school bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours and the schoolkid has only 4-5 waking hours in her loving and nourishing environment at home.

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (School bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

Therefore, that bullied child, although living in a loving and nourishing home environment, spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment.

Consequently, the bullying they suffer at school will likely negate the love and acceptance he gets at home. Sadly, bullies may succeed in causing them to have low self-esteem.

Even sadder, the kids who suffer bullying at school and abuse at home will take an even bigger hit to the self-esteem. Why? Because these kids can’t get away from it. They have no reprieve from bullying.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

In Conclusion

How a student is treated at school has a huge impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely nullify any love and acceptance they receive at home.

Moreover, adults send most of their waking hours at work. Therefore, workplace bullies can condition them as well.

So, how do we Prevent or Lessen the Conditioning from Bullying?

With children and teens, you simply create opportunities for them to make friends outside of school. This will create more positive social experiences for them.

As a result, you’ll help to create an even balance between the bullying and negativity they suffer and the friendships and positivity they enjoy. Even better, it might even tip the scales, creating more positive interactions than negative!

This will buffer the child’s self-esteem from the bullying they get at school.

You can help them create positive connections by sending them to summer camp. Also, you can do it by enrolling them in a martial arts class.

Attending neighborhood or family outings where other kids are present also helps. Also, attending church and church functions is another great idea.

This also goes for bullied adults as well. Another thing adults can do is take a course or two. This is a wonderful opportunity to establish positive connections.

There are many, many opportunities available! So, go for it! Give yourself or your bullied child these wonderful experiences! You’ll create awesome memories that will last a lifetime!

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning, how to recognize it, and how to mitigate it so that you can save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

4. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

March 31, 2025March 21, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully. However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

March 27, 2025March 11, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know about all the ways bullies respond when you begin speaking out about bullying? Here are all the truths you need to know about.

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

However, you can’t bite your tongue forever. Therefore, in this post you will learn what to expect once you begin speaking up about bullying.

Once you learn all these possible responses your bullies will make, you will be better prepared to confidently address it.

This post is all about speaking up about bullying so that you’ll be prepared for your bullies’ reactions and to deal with it bravely and confidently.

Speaking up about bullying

Make your voice heard when the bullying first begins.

Why? Because it will eventually come spewing out. After a while, you will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano.

For instance, you’re calm, and people see your calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back you are. Therefore, they presume that if they keep violating your boundaries, there will be no consequences.

The bullying always starts subtly at first- so subtly that you don’t even notice you’re being abused.

Over several months, the bullying slowly escalates until you finally snap and show your ugly side. However, when you respond to the bullies and their audience in kind, people only use your perfectly justified human reaction to demonize you. Therefore, they make it look as if you’re mentally unstable.

But, why do they do this?

It’s because you didn’t address the bullying when it first began. In other words, you didn’t stand up for yourself in the early stages.

As a result, your bullies and everyone else have grown comfortable with abusing you. Moreover, once people become comfortable with any routine, it’s almost impossible to stop them no matter how you defend yourself.

By then, the bullying has become iron clad and taken a life of it’s own. Therefore, it’s too late to do anything.

Again, this is why you must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and deems you the bad guy!

Therefore, I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

Speaking up about bullying:

Why victims stay silent

It’s because they can’t name what’s happening to them. Sure, they can feel it and see it. However, they can’t put an actual name on it because they don’t know the names of the tactics and how to describe what’s happening.

Being able to put a name on the abusive tactics takes a lot of research and study on abuse. Why? Because bullying is abuse and abuse is bullying.

Both bullying and abuse involve a power imbalance and repeated behavior. Therefore, they’re one and the same.

Why you Should learn to name each bullying tactic

The reason why we should know the names of the tactics is this. When there’s no label to put on it, it’s much harder to explain to others. Moreover, when you can’t name something, you tend to ramble.

And because you ramble about it, people are less likely to believe you when you speak out.

There’s nothing more frustrating than to know something is happening and not know how to name it. It’s as if you have an invisible gag over your mouth. Moreover, it feels like some higher force is trying to silence you and protect your bullies and abusers.

It’s the most frustrating and downright infuriating thing in the world!

Speaking up about bullying:

The Term, “Gaslighting.”

For example, let’s use the term “gaslighting.”

Even today, many people have never heard of gaslighting. Therefore, they don’t know the proper name of the emotional manipulations they may be facing.

In other words, they don’t know that it’s called, gaslighting. All they know is that what others are doing to them feels horrible. Moreover, it leaves them feeling that, somehow, they’re always in the wrong.

Therefore, they don’t know how to fix it because they don’t know what’s broken.

Yet, in the innermost parts of their soul, they know differently. Inside, they know they’re not always wrong. However, because they can’t put a name to it, these people can’t describe what was happening to them.

Therefore, it’s much harder for them to speak out without rambling and looking like they have a mental disorder.

Learning all you can about bullying is crucial.

With that said, it’s important that you read, study, and research everything you can about bullying. Moreover, find out and study the key terms for each bullying tactic.

In fact, learn all you can the names as well as the descriptions of each tactic. Why? Because, once you do, you will be able to effectively speak out about the bullying and abuse you suffer. Also, you will be able to more effectively counter the abuse.

Realize that if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will expect you not to open your mouth about the abuse. Moreover, even bystanders and authority will want you to stay silent. Why? Because, in most cases, they will automatically side with the bullies.

However, it still doesn’t mean you must be quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives on silence and standing up for yourself is paramount.

Understand that speaking up shows strength and bravery. And know that you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, when you break your silence, you must be prepared for the following responses bullies and others will give.

Speaking Up about Bullying:

8 Responses to Expect from Your Bullies and Possibly, Everyone Else.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

See this response for what it is – a classic gaslighting statement.

Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you. Moreover, they’re trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it.

Those who respond this way may be friends or followers of the bullies. Or, maybe they have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company.

It could be that these people see your bullies as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” Also, the bullies may be family members or close friends of these gaslighters.

However, don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. This is how you set boundaries.

Understand that things usually get worse before they get better but they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.”

This is another classic but worn out response. However, ignoring them never works.

Realize that bullies will only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Also, they may mistake your ignoring them for fear.

And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully.

This isn’t necessarily a bad response. However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

When people tell you to ignore the bully, you must understand what they’re really trying to say. And what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep speaking out. It’s how you set boundaries and setting boundaries is crucial in bullying situations.

3. Speaking Up about Bullying:

“Toughen up.”

Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. And really, they’re not wrong. Protecting yourself against bullying IS your responsibility because chances are, no one will help you.

However, by telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you. Also, they don’t stop to think that, when they tell anyone to toughen up, they’d better be prepared to break up a fight.

Why? Because that’s your green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off.

Then when they try to reprimand you for defending yourself, you can then use it as leverage. You can say, “Well? You told me to toughen up, so I did!

Therefore, you should do that!

Or, you can respond by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

People do this to invalidate your experiences with bullying and your thoughts and feelings about it. Therefore, you should respond by saying, “No. You need to get over your denial that bullying happens here.”

Or, if it’s one of your bullies who tells you this, you can respond by saying something to the tune of, “No, you need to get over your assholery and your need for control! I’m not taking this crap anymore!”

5. Speaking Up About Bullying:

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Bullies and their flying monkeys give this response to shame you into silence. Don’t let them do that. Tell the bully that they’re the crybaby because they’re afraid of being exposed.

Or, you can tell them that if they keep it up, you’re likely to make a crybaby out of them.

Whatever you do, don’t let it slide. Don’t react, but do respond.

6. “Stop whining.”

Again, this is another attempt to shame you into shutting your mouth. Therefore, come up with a response to counter this.

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

This is, yet, another attempt to shame you. Therefore, respond accordingly.

8. “Maybe you should just stay out of their way.”

Understand this. You don’t have to tip-toe around anyone. Neither must you bite your tongue to appease bullies. And …you shouldn’t! Therefore, again, respond accordingly. Never take the blame for someone else’s bad behavior! Ever!

Speaking Up About Bullying:

In conclusion:

All of the above, so-called nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy.

Therefore, if you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue and escalate.

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse. Moreover, there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t!

You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

So, keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down. Therefore, dig your heels in and speak louder! Why? Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

Keep speaking about it and setting boundaries!

It may get worse before it gets better. However, things will improve in the long run, it you continue to speak against the bullying.

And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.

This post was all about speaking up about bullying, the gaslighting you should expect, and how to stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished: 7 Reasons to Stand Up for Yourself

March 25, 2025March 19, 20254 Comments

‘Want to know why bullying goes unpunished? Also, do you want to know why you should stand up for yourself? Here’s everything on this subject you need to know about.

It’s not only about punishing bullies. It’s more about teaching victims to stand up for themselves. Granted, yes, we must expose bullies and make them take responsibility. That, we can all agree on.

Bullies may be punished and severely so. However, there’s no guarantee they’ll will learn from it and leave you alone. In fact, it almost never works. Why? Because in most situations, when a bully is caught and held responsible, it only further angers the bully.

Moreover, it makes them that much more vindictive and determined to retaliate against you later.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullying goes unpunished. Also, you will learn why it’s up to you to stand up to them and take back your power.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prompted to begin defending yourself and take your life back.

This post is about why bullying goes unpunished and why you should stand up to them and take care of yourself.

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished

All too often, schools and workplaces ignore reports of bullying and won’t protect you. This happens more than we know.

In other words, people in power ignore you when you report that you’re being bullied. Moreover, they may re-victimize you be trivializing your experiences or worse, blame you for the bullying.

They may ask you what you did to make the bullies act out. This is the worst thing authority members do.

Therefore, you must realize that most workplaces and schools only sweep bullying under the rug. It happens all the time. Therefore, if people bully you, chances are slim to none that others will help you.

Here’s the sad truth about people, in general. If it isn’t happening to them or someone they care about, in most cases, they don’t care. It’s just the cold, hard truth we need to accept.

Here’s why most managers and school officials won’t punish bullying. And why it’s up to you to defend yourself.

1. The Bullies are in positions of power.

In other words, the bully could be a teacher, principal, supervisor, manager, or even law enforcement. If the bully is a kid in school, they may have a parent or family member in a position of power.

Anytime the bully is in a powerful place, it often takes an act of congress to hold them responsible for any damages.

Therefore, it’s up to you to stand up to them. And how you stand up to bullies in power is to set boundaries. Also, document every bullying incidence in detail.

Therefore, you must defend yourself even against bullies who are in power. It’s easier said than done, yes. However, it’s about self-preservation and you have a right to defend yourself when someone crosses your boundaries.

2. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

Staff is lazy.

Investigations take work. Therefore, most school officials or HR employees don’t want to take the extra effort.

They may take the easy way out by denying that bullying happens in their school or company. Moreover, they may accuse you of perpetuating the bullying.

If it’s a case of school bullying and your parents get involved, the school may label your parent as “that parent.” However, you must understand that this is a cop-out.

Again, defend yourself. Continue to set boundaries. And always document every incidence of bullying.

3. School Staff may be afraid the bullies’ parents will retaliate.

Most bullies learn bullying behavior at home. Many bullies learn by watching their parents bully other adults. Understand that many of these parents are self-entitled. Many hold high positions and think this gives them carte blanche to bully other people.

And they will bully teachers and school staff if they have the audacity to hold their little darlings accountable for bad behavior.

Moreover, bullies may also know powerful political connections in town. They may also be a member of the school board. Therefore, they have made the school staff fully aware that disciplining “the wrong kids” could get them booted out of their jobs and entire careers.

Again, self-preservation. Write everything down! Document! And if your bullies get physical, put up your dukes and defend yourself!

4. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

People are afraid for the company’s or school’s reputation.

Schools are notorious for trying to hide cases of bullying. Why? Because they prioritize their reputation over the well being of the children and teens.

Companies are the same way. They usually ignore you, while keeping the bully informed that you’ve ratted on them. Therefore, again, if you report that people are bullying you, don’t expect them to help you.

Most institutions know good and well when someone is bullied. However, they may consider them a threat. In worse cases, they may ostracize or try to silence the person.

Moreover, those who are bullied have less power then others. So, it’s much easier for them to ignore the bullying and pretend that there isn’t a problem.

This is why it’s so important to document and do your own investigation. Never expect anyone else to do the investigation for you.

5. They either don’t like you or they hate you.

Sadly, many people have negative attitudes about the bullied and abused. Although these are people who are in positions to help you, they don’t. Instead, they allow their personal feelings override their humanity.

Moreover, bullies are notorious for spreading many lies and ugly rumors about you. Bullying and defamation go hand in hand. And once they destroy your reputation, your chances of getting help drop significantly.

Why? Because those in power hear the lies and rumors as well. Therefore, they aren’t beyond making judgements based on what they’ve heard. Also, they may be afraid that helping you would cause them to lose their high positions.

Additionally, those in power, may even join in on the bullying. You may be one of the most goodhearted people around. But in most cases of bullying, the rumors and lies supersede the truth about you.

Therefore, in the minds of everyone around you, you’re “trouble.”

Understand that lies and rumors are powerful. They’re so powerful that they keep you locked in a prison of scrutiny and suspicion.

Moreover, bullying makes you a nervous wreck. Therefore, you cannot be your true, awesome self due to the stress bullying causes.

I can’t stress this enough. Defend yourself. Do your own investigation. Document everything so that you’ll have a record of patterns of bullying.

6. Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

they didn’t like the way you responded or reacted to the bullying you suffered.

In other words, because of chronic bullying, you may have reacted out of self-defense and exhaustion. You were so tired because bullies harassed you for so long that you really couldn’t help but to react.

Your bullies may have slyly used your reaction as proof that you have a mental imbalance. Therefore, other may think the worst of you.

Moreover, they may also think that because everyone else hates you, there must be some reason that justifies it. They may say, “Well, if you aren’t provoking it somehow, then why do so many people hate you?

Therefore, they believe you must somehow deserve what is happening to you.

Consequently, when someone in power does not like you, they may either refuse to help you. In worst cases, they may secretly take pleasure in seeing you suffer.

Therefore, realize that those in authority are just as capable as the bullies of hating and hurting those they deem undesirable. In fact, because of the powerful positions they hold, they’re more capable of it.

Again, document everything! Keep a personal record of everything that happens just in case you have a tribunal or take it to court.

7. The bullies are High Performers.

They may be athletes, cheerleaders and high academic achievers. Moreover, they may be candidates for college and schools strive to crank out college-bound students.

Understand that these kids make the school look good. Star athletes on sports teams win games and help the school team reach the playoffs. This only further bolsters the school’s image. The same thing goes for cheerleaders.

They enter regional and state cheer competitions and if they win, the schools’ reputation goes up. Therefore, the cheerleaders appeal to the self-interest of the school and school district.

It’s the same with companies. If workplace bullies excel in job-performance, they make the company lots of money. Therefore, it will be difficult to report them and convince the higher-ups to hold them accountable.

If anything, they’ll only blame you and label you the troublemaker. Why? Because, in reporting their best students or employees, you’re putting the entire school or company at risk of losing out.

This is how they’ll look at it. Therefore, document!

Why Bullying Goes Unpunished:

What you can do if you’re the victim of bullying

When authority does nothing about bullying, it’s up to you to protect yourself.

Therefore, document each incidence of bullying when you get home. Moreover, do it while the incidents are still fresh in your mind.

I can’t stress this enough. Keep your documents at home. Never take them to work or school. Bullies are nosy and they will rummage through your stuff when your back is turned. The last thing you want is for them to find your documentation.

Also, you can wear a hidden body camera or hide an audio recording device on you. However, be sure you know what the laws in your state allow before you do this.

If you live in a one-party consent state, cameras and recording devices are legal and you can use them. On the other hand, if you live in a two-party consent state, you must have the permission of the people you record before you can use them.

And you know that bullies will never allow you to record them. This goes without saying. Moreover, if you do record them and the laws in your area don’t allow it, your bullies will pounce on the opportunity to sue you.

Therefore, it’s best that you only document the bullying. However, there’s another way you can gather proof. And that is to screenshot and save any incendiary messages and comments your bullies may leave on your social media pages.

Moreover, save any bullying emails, and test messages.

The more proof of bullying you collect, the stronger case you’ll have if you must take it to the school board, company tribunal, or to court.

In Conclusion:

Too many people have been conditioned to believe that self-defense is wrong. It isn’t. It’s essential for self-preservation and everyone has a right to it.

Therefore, we must stop depending on school staff, company managers and politicians to come rescue us when bullies run amuck. You must realize that people in power won’t help you. Why? Because, unfortunately, bullies run much of the world.

So, again, you must stop depending on a rescuer because no one is coming to save you. You must save yourself. You must learn to protect yourself against bullies. At the end of the day, your safety and your dignity are your responsibility, no one else’s.

You have a right to defend yourself. You have a right to take care of yourself. So, begin doing it today!

This post was all about why bullying goes unpunished so that you can start protecting yourself against bullying and take responsibility for your own safety and well-being! You can do it! I believe in you!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

2. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

3. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

4. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

Signs of a Smear Campaign: 3 Indicators of Relational Bullying

March 24, 2025March 23, 20252 Comments

‘Want to know the signs of a smear campaign? Here are the signs of relational bullying that you need to know about.

Smear campaigns have ruined the lives of many innocent people, especially targets of bullying.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the signs of a smear campaign so that you’ll be able to recognize one and call it out.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be prepared and better able to protect yourself against anyone who tries to smear your good name.

This post is all about the signs of a smear campaign to train you to recognize it and overcome any attempts to ruin your reputation.

Signs of a Smear Campaign

It always starts subtly. Bullies start rumors by dropping a suggestion. Therefore, all it takes is one little rumor- just one! Because people will want to believe it.

If enough people do, it will become the truth even if it is a bald-faced lie. Consequently, there’s no getting away from public opinion no matter how false or unjustified it is.

If you’re a target of bullies, expect them to try to ruin you by making things up, leaking info they hear, or spreading ideas. Next, the bullies will fade into the background because they know that with everything they carefully put together, the lie they spread will stick.

They’ve done their part, and now they can sit back and let the rumor mill do the work for them. It’s that easy!

The bullies start by suggesting that you would be better off if you got professional help, moved, etc . They will say that it’s for your own good.

Additionally, they may drop an offhand comment here and another there.

1. Gossip

Gossip is purely judgmental and includes hasty generalizations about your character and private life. Moreover, it has nothing to do with the school, community, or workplace.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Gossip has 6 purposes.

To control your social status by demoting you on the social hierarchy.
To justify any punishment others may give you.
Tightening group connections.
To give higher social status to those who are privy to the negative information.
To set expectations and norms in the group on how they should treat you.
Establish, maintain, or change the social infrastructure.

Gossip justifies bullying and abuse by promoting a collective view that you don’t deserve any humanity. Therefore, instead of giving you respect or dignity, others only inflict abuse and hostility.

And once people think you deserve abuse, others will always escalate it!

Through gossip, the group establishes, maintains, or changes social hierarchies. Moreover, gossip promotes unity and shared negative perceptions of you.

Therefore, with the use of it, the group will foster justification for hostility. No one in the group considers their actions as bullying. They will only say that you “deserve it” and that they were reacting to “an evil enemy.”

Therefore, realize that all the gossip serves to provide bullies reaffirmations. And those reaffirmations are that their perceptions of you are correct, that you deserve abuse.

People may tell others to keep it secret. However, they also ask them to inform the group of any new information and updates about you.

Signs of a smear campaign:

How Gossips Cover Their Behavior

Gossips will often cover their bad behavior with a slight confession of guilt by beginning their sentences with things like,

“I know I shouldn’t say this, but…”
“Poor thing…”
“Bless her heart…”

They will acknowledge that the target is a human being. However, they’ll only do it because this gives them the green light to go on talking. Moreover, it helps them to feel less like the creeps they are.

It’s true that reputation doesn’t equal character. However, it can effect your life.

Therefore, understand that the rumors may, in fact, be false. Also, there may be zero credible evidence to back them up. But if pure speculation best fits the bullies’ goals, that’s what they will go along with.

What happens in the late stages of gossip?

In the late stages of gossip, all bystanders will become willing co-conspirators. Gossip brings scandal. In other words, it assassinates your character, integrity, mental fitness, and worth as a human being.

Anyone who questions or disbelieves the lies will immediately become an object of bullying as well. Nobody wants to be isolated. Therefore, this forces others to stay in line with the running narrative.

And if you attempt to defend yourself or speak out against the abuse, everyone else will use it against you.

Unfortunately, at this stage, the only way for you to ensure safety and escape the abuse is to leave the toxic environment. Therefore, you must go to a new place where you can start anew and reinvent yourself.

Signs of a smear campaign:

The character, Chris Chambers in the movie, “Stand by Me.”

‘Remember the character, Chris Chambers, in the movie “Stand by Me?” Although he was a great kid, he was considered a rogue and a thief.

Do you remember the scene where he was crying to his friend, Gordy? He was telling him about how he got his bad name and wishing he could go somewhere where no one knew him.

During the conversation, the character of Chris Chambers, played by River Phoenix, tearfully tells Gordy that a member of staff took the lunch money out of the teal. However, he got blamed for it solely because of his family name. It was heartbreaking to watch.

And sadly, stuff like this happens a lot. In a majority of cases, targets must leave the school, company, or community to heal and to rebuild their lives.

2. Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Rumors

As rumors and lies circulate, details are included and added to the stories. Moreover, these details have ways of being inserted into people’s memories.

For example, there have been cases of burglaries where the homeowners “thought they saw” an unarmed burglar with a gun when, in fact, there was no gun. Understand that in these cases, people don’t lie on purpose.

They really and truly believe they saw a gun in the criminal’s hand or his pocket. In fact, they actually “remember” seeing it.

Moreover, the reason they remember it so plainly is that they’ve heard and talked about it so much their brains filled in the blanks with the details based on what they heard.

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

False Memories

Bullies ask questions such as,

“Did you see her do this?”
“Did you hear him say that?”

Realize that, when they ask these questions, they only suggest that she did do this, or he did say that. It’s the Power of Suggestion at work.

Therefore, it’s so easy to influence people’s memories by presenting something in a particular way. Also, the memory will adjust itself according to a person’s stereotypes and expectations. People see what they expect to see.

Too often, people’s memories depend on social expectations- what they expect the target to do and not what he is actually doing.

Understand that memories are mistakable and can be falsified. Sure. And whether accurate or make-believe, once it becomes a memory, there’s no way to tell the difference.

If you’re a target of bullying, I want you to realize that this does happen and that you must make preparations accordingly to protect yourself better.

3. People may suddenly begin avoiding you or bullying you.

In the beginning, you may have friends and be very well-liked. Moreover, these friends may try to support you and speak on your behalf.

However, that’s when the bullies will tell them, “Oh, no. There’s more to it than what they told you.” Or, the bullies may lie to your friends by telling them that sometime in the past, you criticized them or stabbed them in the back.

Now it’s time for the bullies to stand back and let the old rumor mill do its handiwork. And, sure enough, the lies become the truth. People begin reporting things to the bullies and higher-ups in the social hierarchy- even things that never happened.

Also, as the rumors and lies spread from person to person, the bigger they get until they sound so bizarre and outlandish they’d be fit for a horror movie.

You might say, “Aw, but they’re my friends. They’d never do that to me. They know I’m a good person, and I have a clean reputation. All I have to do is tell them my side of things, and this stuff will go away.”

However, you couldn’t be any more wrong!

Signs of a Smear Campaign:

Even your friends may turn their backs on you.

Once the rumors get around, your friends will no longer believe you to be right. They’ll only think you’re a thorn in the side with a big mouth. By the time bullying is underway, your reputation is no longer clean.

Now, everyone thinks you never deserved any respect or friendship. The people around you may also feel that the reason you were so well-liked is that you conned your way into their hearts.

Moreover, they’ll say that you put on a front. They’ll tell others that you only weaseled your way into everyone’s good graces. The bullies and their followers may even accuse you of being a kiss-ass.

People will make your past accomplishments, successes, or accolades irrelevant. On the other hand, they will maximize your mistakes and failures. They’ll even add on many more mistakes you didn’t make.

In short, they’ll begin rewriting your history.

Even if others see with their own eyes evidence of your successes, friendships- anything positive, they won’t believe it. They’ll only react by claiming that you’re only a smooth-talker who’s darn good at using fake charm to manipulate others.

After your friends turn against you, they’ll deny they ever liked you to begin with.

And the friends that your bullies turn against you? Your former friends will claim that they never liked you from the start. Moreover, they’ll swear that they were only kind to you because they were afraid of you.

They can tell others they felt sorry for you, or that you smooth-talked and conned them.

Also, your former friends will tell others, “who you really are.” Also, they’ll claim that the bullies you bitched about were only reacting to your sneaky provocations.

If they ever agreed with you about your bullies, they only did so because you fooled them into it.

Telling your side of things will do no good because they’ll never believe it anyway. In other words, your embittered friends “may have fallen for it at first,” but now they’ll claim to “know better.”

I want you to understand that once they’ve made up their minds, there’s no changing them.

In cases like these, it’s best just to find a way to get out of the environment altogether. Moreover, it’s best that you never look back. You don’t want to ever have anything to do with any of these people again.

Therefore, you owe it to yourself to kick them all to the curb.

This post was all about signs of a smear campaign so that you can recognize it and be better prepared.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1.Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

2. Smear Campaigns: 4 Tactics Bullies Use to Sully Your Reputation

3. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

4. Social Bullying Examples: 7 Reasons Bullies Destroy Relationships

5. Why do Schools Ignore Bullying? 7 Reasons Schools Do Nothing

Inside the Mind of a Bully

March 20, 2025March 20, 20252 Comments

‘Want to take a peek inside the mind of a bully? Here’s exactly how they think when it comes to their targets and victims and how you can use it to protect yourself from them.

If you’re a target of a bully or a group of bullies, you must understand that they perceive you as their enemy. Moreover, this goes even if you haven’t done nothing to them. Because, chances are, you haven’t. In fact, you may pose no threat to them whatsoever.

However, the point is that, in their minds, you are a hated enemy and they refuse to see you as anything but.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn what goes on inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it to defend yourself from them.

Once you learn all about this very important information, you will know more of what to expect from bullies and how you can use it to your advantage and stay a few steps ahead of them.

This post is all about what you’re likely to find inside the mind of a bully and how you can use it for self-preservation.

Inside the mind of a bully

Again, you are the enemy. Period. Moreover, even as the bully is ritually torturing you, even if you’ve done nothing to deserve it, that bully still see you as the adversary.

Therefore, they think you should just take the abuse. And once you speak out about the bullying, a bully’s enmity will only increase exponentially.

Once bullies get a fix on you, you are all they can focus on because they feel threatened. You see, hate creates this kind of obsession in any bully. And it’s difficult for them to get rid of.

Bullies and abusers only see from their own perspective. Moreover, their perspective has you as an opponent for them to punish. You’re a threat they must contain, even eliminate.

A bully or a group of bullies isn’t concerned with the fact that their anger and hatred are irrational. They don’t think that they’re destroying a fellow human being much like themselves. Moreover, a bully doesn’t think of you as a human being with thoughts, feelings, and emotions.

You must realize that bullies are oblivious to the fact that the impetus of their violence comes from the primal part of their brains.

Why? Because, only one things matters to a bully. And what matter is that, right or wrong, you are the enemy. In other words, they view you as evil and they want revenge.

Therefore, your bullies have no inhibitions of destroying you because they think they’re the good guys. In that, they think they’re doing the right thing by destroying you.

It’s human nature. Evil enemies must be annihilated.

Inside the Mind of a Bully:

In their minds, you owe them respect

And when you don’t show the bully the respect they feel they’re entitled to, they must punish you. Moreover, if you don’t show it in the way bullies think you should, they also become enraged and seek to destroy you.

The power-dynamic between you and your bully is always zero-sum. They feel you deserve nothing but hostility and abuse. However, in contrast, you owe them respect.

In other words, they believe you should respect them as they abuse you.

From the bully’s perspective, you must atone for their flaws, shortcomings, and evil by lying down and “letting” them abuse you.

Moreover, bullies expect you to take it with a smile and a yes sir or ma’am, even ask for seconds. They also think you should be thankful that they don’t make things worse on you.

This is the mentality of bullies.

The Possibility of you standing up to them threatens them.

Why? Because, if you stand up to your bullies, there’s a risk that everyone who sees you will question their power! With bullies, it’s not about right or wrong. It’s about hierarchy.

“We’re in charge here! You’re not and you should shut your mouth and do what we want!”

In other words, you’re lower on the social hierarchy. Therefore, if you grow balls and challenge them by fighting back, you’ll likely humiliate them in front of everyone and make them look like punks!

You bullies can’t have that. Therefore, the constant torment they inflict on you isn’t only punishment. It’s the constant reinforcement of power. In other words, it’s to keep you from even thinking about defending yourself.

When you do clap back at your bullies, they’ll do one of either two things.

They’ll get the message that you’re no longer a victim, leave you alone, and go find another victim. Or, they’ll only double down on their abuse. Many bullies only intensify the abuse until they wear themselves out and decide you aren’t worth the trouble.

Or, they may wear you down. If they wear you down, the bullying will only get worse.

Therefore, you must continue standing your ground.

Inside the mind of a bully:

Most bullies are relentless.

Once you begin standing up to a bully or group of bullies, you must be consistent with it. Why? Because most bullies are relentless. In other words, you cannot stand up to them only one time and expect them to leave you alone.

Taking a stand only one time doesn’t win their respect. In many cases, it makes your bully angrier and the bullying gets worse before it gets better.

Again, it’s not about right or wrong. And it isn’t about fairness. Bullies view fairness as sappy fairy tales for babies. It’s about hierarchy and, by standing up to them, you just disrupted the social order.

Therefore, the bullies must intensify the bullying. They must teach you a lesson. Moreover, they must fight even harder to subdue you to keep their place in the social hierarchy.

‘You see? In their minds, you’ve forgotten who you are. You’ve gotten too big for your britches and too smart for your own good. Moreover, you’ve forgotten your place and you don’t know when to leave well enough alone.

However, what this really translates too is that you’ve become a threat to your bullies’ positions on the social totem pole. Therefore, they must contain the threat – you!

This is not only to teach you a lesson. It’s also to make an example out of you. In other words, it’s to let everyone else in the environment know that if they try anything like you did, or if they help you in any way, they’ll be next.

Realize that bullies have a “Divine Right of Kings” mentality. Therefore, standing up to them one time won’t work. Your bullies will only bully you harder, at first, to get you to submit.

**Do bullies know they’re Bullies?**

In most cases, YES!

Moreover, they’re damn proud of it. Why? Because, unfortunately, most people believe it’s cool to be cruel. You must accept this fact because, it’s just the truth of the messed-up world we live in.

The sad part is that the higher someone climbs, the more you see of their ass. In other words, the higher up the social hierarchy most people rise, the more brutal they are.

Why? Because the popularity and social capital serve to insulate them from accountability. Moreover, it gives them other perks like power, prestige, and influence. Therefore, they also have plenty of other powerful connections. This gives them liberties and favor that no one has access to.

Power like that is just too delicious to give up. Moreover, outside of their positions in the social arena, your bullies have nothing!

Therefore, they grow more arrogant and brazen with their bullying and abuse. However, if they ever lose face and fall to the bottom of the social hierarchy, the landing will be exponentially more brutal.

Why? Because of how they treated others when they were on top. Bullies know that if that ever happens, the humiliation will be unbearable and others will likely eat them alive!

In other words, the bullies will become targets themselves and oooh, the shame! Therefore, your bullies become desperate and will fight even harder to keep their social status!

Again, this is not the time to back down! Keep standing your ground!

Inside the mind of a Bully:

What to expect

Here’s what you can expect your bullies to try after you defend yourself and defeat them for the first time.

1. They’ll threaten the other people in the environment.

In other words, your bullies will let everyone else know that they can expect to be bullied too if they dare get out of their places.

2. Pit your friends against you.

If your bully can turn your friends against you, all the better. They may do this by accusing them of being in on your rebellion with you. Moreover they may defame each of your friends and try to turn others against them as well.

Understand that this is how your bullies use peer pressure to get your friends to turn on you. And once they do, your friends might blame you for dragging them into you and causing them to become targets.

Also, your bullies will try to make it impossible for you to make new friends.

However, understand that bullies do this strictly to isolate you and cut you off from any support. Therefore, keep standing up for yourself no matter what. And cut off any friends who turn on you because they were never your friends to begin with.

Do you really want a bunch of cowards as friends? I sure wouldn’t!

3. Inside the Mind of a Bully:

Send henchmen to physically harm you.

If they aren’t physical bullies, or, if they are and you beat the crap out of them in self-defense, your bullies will likely send others to do their violence for them. Moreover, most seasoned bullies are too smart to do something so obvious.

They’d rather not get their hands dirty. Therefore, instead of getting blood on their hands, they send a lackey after you. In fact, when the henchman catches up with you, your bullies won’t even be there.

Instead, they offer the roughneck the right incentives and send him. However, this happens only in extreme cases.

Even then, you must continue to stand up for yourself. But in cases like this, it’s better to get the police involved. But if you have to fight, do it like your life depends on it. Don’t back down.

Remember, you should never back down because, once you do, the bullying will only continue to escalate.

when and where does it stop?

It doesn’t. Bullying only gets worse until somebody dies or leaves the environment.

Therefore, if you’re a target of a bully, understand this. It doesn’t matter what the bully thinks. Neither the bully nor anyone else has a right to violate your boundaries, physical nor psychological.

I want you to know that you have a right to learn, work, or live in a safe environment. Moreover, you have a right to be in a nourishing environment that allows you to flourish. And you owe respect to no one who hasn’t earned it.

Bullies or anyone else who deliberately sets out to hurt you does not deserve anything from you. Understand that you must value yourself enough to put yourself first.

If someone is abusing you, you have every right to take care of yourself. You have not only a right but an obligation to yourself to walk away from the person.

If you can’t walk away- if the bully won’t let you walk away, then you have a right to defend yourself. Realize that you are valuable, and you matter just as much as the next person.

And everyone has flaws, not only you. If anyone bullies you, then they have no business coming anywhere near you. Always remember that.

This post was all about what’s inside the mind of a bully so that you can know what to expect and use it to your advantage.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. A Bully’s Perspective: What Your Bullies Want to Say to You

2. The 4 Stages of Bullying

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

4. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

March 18, 2025March 12, 20252 Comments

Loving yourself in an environment that hates you is one of the biggest challenges you face when people constantly bully you. However, you can do it! Here’s how to love yourself in the middle of bullying so that you can emerge from it with your self-esteem and mental health intact.

Loving yourself can be challenging when people target you for bullying. How can you feel good about yourself when the only thing you hear from others is negativity?

In this post you will learn all about ways of loving yourself in an environment that hates you. In that, you will learn ways to do it so that you can come away from bullying with a healthy self-esteem.

Once you learn all about this life-saving information, you will be able to come through any abuse with minimal damage to your mental health and move on to a happy and productive life.

This post is all about loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you can come through bullying with your confidence, self-esteem, and mental health intact.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You

People constantly bombarding you with ugly names, cruel taunts and attacks, even for a short time, makes life harder than it should be.

Moreover, after a long period of time, it can have a cumulative and devastating effect on your self-esteem. And if you aren’t careful, you too will begin to believe the cruel falsehoods that mean-spirited bullies tell you.

Nevertheless, no matter how viciously others may treat you, it’s imperative that you do everything possible to hold on to self-love. Why? Because loving yourself is the most important thing you can ever do for yourself.

Here are ways to keep loving yourself when everyone bullies you.

1. Make positive affirmations every day, several times a day.

In other words, look at yourself in the mirror each morning and say these words to yourself:

“I AM a good person.”
“I AM worthy of being loved.”
“I AM beautiful.”
“I AM important.”
“I AM smart.”

The more you give yourself positive affirmations, the more they will stick and the more you’ll believe it even if others try to bring you down. This is how you shield your precious mind from bullies who wish to destroy it.

Understand that you must do what you must do to maintain your self-esteem. Never let anyone brainwash you into thinking that you are less than.

You must love and respect yourself before anyone else can love and respect you. Also, you must take care of YOU. Therefore, love yourself enough to give yourself compassion when others mistreat you.

2. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Be willing to make difficult, even heartbreaking decisions.

You must command respect and love from others, including toxic family members that you love dearly. And be willing to make some very difficult decisions in order to either receive that love and respect or get rid of toxic people who refuse to give it to you.

Sometimes, you have to walk away for people you love and care about. And you must do it knowing full well that there is always a chance that they may never see your worth.

Moreover, this means coming to a place where you no longer care even the slightest about the outcome.

However, there is a strong chance that your value will go up in that person’s eyes. And they will eventually see your worth and treat you better than you ever thought possible. It may not happen overnight. In fact, it may take up to several years, but it can happen.

But! If by chance, it doesn’t happen, realize that you did not turn your back on the person because you did not love them. You did it only because they did not love you enough to treat you with the love and respect that you know in your heart of hearts that you deserve.

You must love yourself or nobody will love you. Never look outside of yourself for love and validation. Never depend on others for assurance of your value. Let love come from within your heart!

That means loving yourself enough to know when it’s time to let go.

3. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Stop Caring what people think of you.

No lie. This can be hard to do, especially if the people around you hate you and are bullying you. Loving yourself in a room full of people who hate you takes a mountain of hard work.

In other words, it’s real tough to do when all you hear from everyone is:

“You aren’t worth a damn!”
“You suck!”
“You’re a drain on society!”
“You’ll never amount to a hill of beans!”

I understand. If you hear that long enough and from enough people, it can break your spirit if you let it. And how you refuse to let it get to you is to see it for what it is- noise pollution!

This is why it’s so important to stop giving a tinker’s damn what anyone thinks of you. At the end of the day, what they think of you doesn’t matter.

Here’s another thing to think about. The weight a person’s opinions carry depends on their relationship with you. In other words, you give the most value to the opinions of the people who are closest to you. The ones who love and care for you.

However, the opinions of those who are out to hurt you carry the least weight. Therefore, you don’t have to place in value on the opinions of enemies, bullies, and haters.

To get offended by someone’s opinion, you must first value their opinions. Therefore, don’t give any value to things that have none.

In other words, refuse to let the incendiary remarks of a bully get to you.

4. Give yourself permission to be yourself.

That means be the authentically beautiful person you were born to be. Moreover, do it even if others don’t like it. Understand that most people are fake and they won’t like it when you relax and be yourself. Why? Because you’re their complete opposite.

Also, giving yourself permission to be yourself means knowing it’s okay to have needs, wants, and desires. Moreover, it’s okay to express those desires.

Other people might ridicule or reprimand you for asking for what you want. However, pay these people no mind and just do your thing. They’ll get over it eventually.

5. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Train your inner voice to speak lovingly to you.

You do this through practice and patience. If that inner critic starts putting you down, catch it when it happens. Then turn the negative words into words of love.

Therefore, when you do this for long enough, that voice will begin to love you unconditionally.

6. Stop comparing yourself to others.

Understand that we’re all on different paths. Some have smooth paths and others paths are rougher. However, never compare your life with theirs.

Look for the blessings in your life and be proud of who you are.

7. Give yourself permission to walk away from drama.

When bullies begin running their mouths, sometimes it’s best to just walk away and leave them standing there. Understand that you have a right not to deal with drama.

Moreover, expect your bullies to ridicule you for choosing to remove yourself. They may accuse you of being to scared to face them. However, know that it’s not out of fear that you do so, it’s out of smarts and self-care.

Therefore, realize that it’s okay to leave if you’re in an environment where you aren’t valued.

8. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Allow yourself to make mistakes and learn from them.

Everyone makes mistakes. However, not everyone has bullies who constantly shame them for it or remind them of past errors.

This is proof that your mistakes are no worse than the ones others make. Your bullies may make it seem like they are. But they aren’t. Therefore, you’re no worse than anyone else.

Continue to love and value yourself anyway, despite what others may say or think.

9. Know that it’s okay if people get angry with you.

In other words, if people get angry at you for taking care of yourself, that’s your cue that they don’t deserve to be in your life and you should ditch these creeps and move on.

Don’t let their anger discourage you from doing what’s best for yourself. Because you’re the only one who must live your life. Therefore, make your life the best life you can make it.

And to hell with what anyone else thinks!

10. Realize that you can’t control how others think, feel, or behave.

Another person’s behavior is beyond your control. Therefore, give up the urge to control the way others act toward you. Why? Because it’s impossible and it’s a waste of your time and energy.

You can never control how others view you. Moreover, you can’t control what people say to you and how they act toward you.

However, what you can control is how you behave. In other words, you can control how you respond to the behavior of bullies and other idiots who try to steal your joy.

And, most importantly, you have a choice whether to keep associating with these losers and keep them in your life. Therefore, give them the boot if possible.

You don’t need them around.

11. Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

See your bullies’ drivel for what it is – a bunch of noise!

Loving yourself in the face of bullying is revolutionary!

Therefore, you must drown out all the hot air and noise pollution your bullies emit. And you must see it for what it is. How do you do that?

You do it by seeing your bullies for the creeps they truly are.
You do it by understanding where all their vitriol comes from.
Also, you do it by thinking good thoughts of yourself and reminding yourself of your good qualities.
And you do it by reminding yourself what a bunch of pathetic losers your bullies truly are.

Therefore, keep training your brain to think highly of yourself, even when nobody else thinks lowly of you. It’s the greatest act of rebellion against bullies!

Again, see it for what it is. The judgements and verbal abuse you consistently hear from the cowardly creeps around you, is nothing but a bunch of racket. In other words, it’s noise pollution!

When you’re determined like yourself when others don’t, you refuse to let bullies get into your head.

Moreover, you train your brain to filter out the negative comments that serve no purpose but to damage your self-esteem. Also, you silence that inner critic that would otherwise nag you night and day.

And here’s the best part! When you love and accept yourself, others outside the bullying environment will likely accept you. In other words, strangers who have no history with you will be inclined to also love and accept you.

No, your bullies and abusers won’t like or love you even if you love yourself. But who cares about them?

Therefore, you must love yourself in spite of what others think of you. You will be surprised at how it protects your self-esteem. When you work to feel good about yourself, even while bullies are trying to tear you down, it will work as a buffer to the psychological attacks they launch.

You may come out of it bruised, but not broken.

Loving Yourself in an Environment that Hates You:

Learn to Love the Person You’re Stuck with For Life- You!

There’s no getting away from it, bucko! You can never run from yourself. You are confined to yourself and will take this person with you wherever you go.

Therefore, would you rather be stuck for the rest of your life with someone you love or someone you hate?

This post was all about the importance of loving yourself in an environment that hates you so that you’ll be able to buffer yourself against the attacks of bullies.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Raising Self-Esteem: 5 Easy Mind Hacks that Help

2. When You Start Seeing Your Worth, 17 Amazing Changes Happen.

3. Never Chase People Who Don’t See Your Worth

4. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

5. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness: 5 Ways to Empower Yourself

March 15, 2025March 11, 20253 Comments

‘Want to know how to overcome learned helplessness. Here are all the ways you can empower yourself and take back control over your life.

When you’ve been bullied and abused long enough, you develop a condition called “Learned Helplessness.” In other words, you feel hopeless.

You feel that there’s nothing you can do about your situation. Therefore, you give up any options you may have to make a better life for yourself.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to overcoming learned helplessness so that you can take back your autonomy and your life.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be able to take back control of your life and begin your journey back to peace and happiness.

This post is all about how to overcome learned helplessness and go from hopelessness to happiness.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness

How does learned helplessness apply to bullying?

When people bully you, many times they will either keep you from defending yourself or punish you for it. This is how learned helplessness rears it’s ugly head if you aren’t careful.

Therefore, many targets and survivors of bullying get stuck in the only life they know. Moreover, if bullying and abuse are the only things a person knows, guess what happens?

They usually stay stuck in relationships and environments that are harmful to them. Why? Because bullies and abusers have conditioned them all their lives to accept it as a normal part of life. This can happen to animals as well.

Here’s a piece from the book, “The Body Keeps the Score,” by Bessel Van Der Kolk, M. D.

“Maier and Seligman had repeatedly administered painful electrical shocks to dogs who were trapped in locked cages. They called this condition, ‘inescapable shock.’”

“After administering several courses of electric shock, the researchers opened the doors of the cages and then shocked the dogs again. A group of control dogs who had never been shocked before immediately ran away, but the dogs who had earlier been subjected to inescapable shock made no attempt to flee, even when the door was wide open- they just lay there, whimpering and defecating. The mere opportunity to escape does not necessarily make traumatized animals, or people, take the road to freedom.

Like Maier and Seligman’s dogs, many traumatized people give up. Rather than risk experimenting with new options, they stay stuck in the fear they know.”

This is interesting.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Learned helplessness doesn’t come from bullying per se. It comes more from being trapped and having no way to escape bullying.

Many targets of bullying have been repeatedly traumatized just like the electric shock dogs in the excerpt. People have abused them for so long that they’ve programmed them to stay in a miserable environment.

Moreover, others have conditioned them tolerate more abuse. It’s heartbreaking!

Nine times out of ten, the target is trapped in the bullying and has no chance of getting away from it. In other words, they’re trapped in a school they can’t transfer from.

Many victims of workplace bullying are stuck in a job they can’t afford to quit. Many parents of bullied kids can’t afford to move to a new area. Maybe zoning laws forbid switching schools.

Whatever the situation may be, there’s no getting away from the bullying.

When bullies and abusers deliberately block your fight or flight response, what can you do? What can you do when people or circumstances prevent you from running away or fighting back?

You either fly into a rage and end up committing a serious crime or you do like most victims. You shut down completely and surrender to “what just is.” In short, you give up.

L.H. comes from long-term entrapment

Therefore, many targets and survivors suffer from Learned Helplessness because of entrapment. Moreover, evil people have programmed them to believe that there is nothing they can do to defend themselves.

Therefore, bullies and abusers have trained them to believe they have absolutely no control over what happens to them.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Keep fighting and know that things will get better sooner or later.

This is why we should never allow bullies and abusers to drive us to the point of giving up. Never allow bullies and abusers to brainwash you into believing that you’re helpless.

Why? Because it will have devastating consequences for your entire life. No matter how others treat you and how bad things get, you must hold on to your self-belief.

Moreover, you must hold on to hope. Know that if you keep fighting, things will eventually improve.

Keep your eyes on your goals and dreams. Only then will you be able to break the hold that bullies or abusers have on you.

You may not physically be able to escape the bullying and abuse you suffer. However, you still have control over your mind.

You still have a say in what goes into your mind and what you choose to kick out of it. So, never allow the words of a bullying abuser clutter your brain.

Instead, fill your mind with your goals and dreams. Continue to think of things that make you feel good about yourself.

Work on devising a plan of escape and stick to it. Then, when the time is right and a door opens, put your plan into action.

Trust me, you’re worth it and you deserve to live drama-free and in peace.

Run your life. Don’t let your life run you.

The feeling of powerlessness is a gawd-awful place. You can feel you have no control over your life. Instead of running your life, your life runs you. Even worse, as much as you want to fix it, you don’t know how.

Your life may be a constant battle. You may be fighting a war you never volunteered to fight in but one you feel you’ve been involuntarily drafted into.

Moreover, in this war, you have no furlough nor R&R. Even worse, this war seems to be never-ending. You feel you’re sailing on a ship without a rudder.

Bad things keep happening back-to-back. What’s worse is that you don’t know what’s broken. Therefore, again, you have no way of knowing how to fix it.

Perhaps, the most heart-sinking thing is this. It looks as if everyone else is happily enjoying life. They’re getting what they want, or more appropriately, what you want.

Everyone… except you. And you’re sick of always being the exception.

How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

1. Recognize it in your thinking patterns.

For example, your bullies can program your subconscious mind if you let them. They will make you believe that love, success, anything good and meaningful, was for anyone who isn’t you.

Moreover, you may feel that God loathes you. It may seem that He wants to punish you by blocking you from any kind of happiness, satisfaction, and contentment. Also, it may seem that God is making sure that you see everyone else reaching successes and enjoying their lives.

And you may hate them all for it. Even worse, you may hate God for blessing them and cursing you. You may rage at Him for allowing you to suffer.

It may seem that God has left you to fend for yourself, then cut off ways for you to do it. But see all this for what it is… all lies!

Your reaction may be to stop talking to God. In fact, you may want nothing to do with Him. Your impulse may be to ignore Him flat out or curse Him in your heart. You may be angry, even outraged!

It may seem that He’s forcing you to suffer while rubbing everyone else’s successes and blessings in your face. You may have the feeling He is starving you. That He is forcing you to go without food while forcing you to watch everyone in the room enjoy a huge feast and eat heartily.

And it feels like torture. But again, it’s all lies. Therefore, never stop praying no matter what! And never allow this type of thinking to take root.

Therefore, the first step to preventing this type of mindset is to recognize it.

This type of thinking is the result of learned helplessness.

But you see? This is what learned helplessness does. It programs you to believe that you’re at the mercy of Fate!

You ask yourself, “what’s the point?” After so many disappointments and heartaches, you feel there’s nothing you can do to change your situation. You think that you’re just “stuck with it,” and “that’s just the way it is.”

Learned helplessness forces you to believe that you have power over nothing! You’re just a leaf being blown about by the wind- a car without a steering wheel.

It is as if your life has been set to autopilot and there’s no way you can navigate its direction.

You come to believe that you should just roll over and resign yourself. People and circumstances have forced you to accept your fate and station in life.

And why not? It’s easier just to go with the flow and let yourself be blown wherever the wind decides to take you.

However, you’ll do yourself so much good by resisting this type of thinking.

2. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Read Personal Development books and articles.

You must know how to change your situation and personal development will tell you how. It did for me.

For example, if you’re having a hard time making friends, I recommend the books “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie, and “The Art of Seduction” by Robert Greene! Or, you can read the Bible.

Also, read any of Joe Navarro’s books about body language. He is a former FBI profiler, and his books will teach you how to better read nonverbal communication. The better you read body language, the better you’ll communicate with others!

Begin reading personal development and putting everything you learn into practice. This requires that you be hungry for any knowledge you can use to make a better life for yourself.

And, trust me. When you’re hungry for the knowledge, you’ll devour book after book. Moreover, you’ll continue to practice the new habits you learn. And you’ll do it everyday until it became like second nature and you no longer have to think about it.

The transformation won’t happen overnight. It will take time, even few years. However, you will be amazed at the results.

Good blessings will begin to flow into your life almost immediately! They may be small at first. Nevertheless, they’ll still be blessings.

You will realize that, all along, you’ve had the power to change things only you’d never known you had it.

And power you don’t know you have is power you don’t have because it’s power you can’t use. You cannot use anything you don’t know you have.

3. Seek therapy.

You don’t have to let them shove psych meds down your throat. However, there’s counseling. Counseling allows you to talk and get things off your chest. However, this should be in conjunction with other steps like…

4. How to Overcome Learned Helplessness:

Prayer.

Believe it or not, prayer works. So, spend a minute or two in prayer and ask Him to show you what to do and what you need to understand.

5. Practice, practice, practice.

None of what you’ve learned will do you a lot of good if you don’t put it to practice. Part of reading personal development is practicing it.

You must practice every day to build your confidence and it will require stepping out of your comfort zone and facing your fears head on.

Remember, your transforming will take time. Don’t rush the process. Do everything and learn at your own pace. Patience is the key.

This post was all about how to overcome learned helplessness so that you can take back control of your life and feel powerful again.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. How to Overcome Low Self-Esteem: 7 Insanely Easy Ways

2. Signs of Low Self-Esteem and How to Correct It

3. How to Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

4. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

March 13, 2025March 11, 20255 Comments

‘Want to know how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying? Here are the reactions you need to know about so that you can learn how to re-frame them and see them for what they are. Also, here’s why you should feel good about it when your bullies react out of panic.

Remember that your bullies thrive on your silence. Why? Because, as long as you stay quiet about the abuse they inflict on you, they can continue to avoid accountability. Even worse, they get to continue bullying you freely and with impunity.

Therefore, it is of the utmost importance that you begin speaking out if you want to take your power and your life back.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how your bullies will react when you begin speaking out against bullying. Also, you will learn how much it will positively change your life.

Once you learn what to expect from bullies, you will be prepared to double down and stand your ground no matter what. In that, you will successfully take back your personal power and, with it, control over your life.

This post is all about what happens when you start speaking out against bullying and the positive life-changes that come with it.

Speaking out against bullying

Speaking out against bully starts with reporting your bullies and their bullying when it happens to you. Bullies made coerce you to stay silent. In fact, they may intimidate and induce fear into you. They may threaten physical violence or social consequences.

However, you have a right to safety and dignity. Therefore, reporting your bullies is the first step if you want to overcome bullying.

Yes, speaking out is scary and yes, it involves taking a huge risk of being retaliated against.

But understand that anytime your bullies retaliate and seek to punish you for reporting them, it speaks volumes. It shows that they’re desperate. Moreover, it shows that they’re guilty!

Why? Because if your bullies weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t need to retaliate and they wouldn’t make such an effort to silence you.

In other words, behind a bully’s retaliation for your refusal to stay silent is the knowledge of their own guilt and fear of exposure and resulting consequences. Sadly, most people still haven’t caught onto this yet.

But what if I report it and people in authority refuse to listen?

Understand this right now. Although members of authority and bystanders may not want to listen to your pleas for help, the truth is that they can never un-hear what you’ve told them.

Moreover, though they all may cover for the bully and deny they saw any bullying take place, they can still never unsee it. As long as it reaches their eyes and ears, you still have a voice.

Speaking out against bullying:

When Bullies Retaliate because you spoke out, it screams panic and desperation.

Think about this. Warplanes always get bombarded with the most flack any time they’re flying over their target. This is when the battle is at it’s absolute worst!

You see, the closer the plane gets to the target, the more the enemy will escalate their defensive attacks.

It’s the same with bullies. Any time you peg them on their BS, you’re over the target. And they will hurl all kinds of vicious attacks on you.

Therefore, accept it, expect it, and most importantly prepare for it.

Moreover, if you ever find yourself in this kind of situation, don’t let them shake you. Always remember the warplane analogy and you’ll better withstand the onslaught. Even better, you’ll be able to call it out when it happens.

You’d be surprised how much easier it is to fight against something once you can name it. A problem that you can put a name on and explain clearly is a problem you can more easily solve.

5 Things Bullies and Abusers Do When You Call out Their Abuse

Here’s how your bullies will react when you put their bullying on blast.

1. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Lash out at you.

This is the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names. In fact, they’ll call everything but a child of God.

I won’t kid you. It will be difficult to face but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

Instead, see it for what it is. By breaking your silence, you forced your bullies to reveal their true colors. Why?

Because when your bullies fly off the handle and viciously attack you, that’s when you know you’ve busted them. In fact, you force them to bust themselves just by their very reactions!

Also, you force them to explain themselves.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their “authority”- their power because neither power nor authority ever explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

In other words, you instantly snatch them out of their position of power and move them into a vulnerable position. You automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a subordinate place.

In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

2. Deny their abuse.

Bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively, claiming they never bullied or mistreated you. And, you can be sure that they’ll tell anyone who’ll listen to them the same thing.

Again, don’t let it deter you. Calmly tell them, “Don’t try to deny it because you did.” The trick is to not only call out what they did, but also to call out their denial of it.

3. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Gaslight you.

Oftentimes, when you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing the bullying or dismissing it.

They may claim that you must’ve misinterpreted them somehow. Moreover, they may question your memory of the events. They may even accuse you of imagining things.

You may hear remarks such as, “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being overly sensitive”.

Also, they may make statements such as:

“Well, we were just kids then.”
“But that’s all water under the bridge.”
“Just let bygones be bygones.”
”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it” or accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

Here are other objectives for their gaslighting:

To minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
To make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
To cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

You must realize that this is gaslighting and it speaks volumes about their character. You know bullying when it happens to you, so, don’t be afraid to counter their gaslighting.

4. Speaking out Against Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you notice their bullying and call it out is when bullies and abusers lose control over you. Therefore, if they can no longer control you, they will control how others see you.

And they will tell everyone who will listen what a lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, as difficult as it may be, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control. Why? Because they’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face.

So, expect them to tell everyone that you’re “mentally imbalanced” and that you’re having some sort of mental episode.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care and wouldn’t react so desperately. So, always see this as an admission of guilt.

5. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared. Understand that this is the best outcome because if they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them trying to gaslight you.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

However, be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others. Moreover, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth.

Different bullies react different ways and may use any or all four of the above defensive measures.

Speaking out Against Bullying:

In conclusion:

I can’t stress this enough. Bullies and abusers count on your silence. Moreover, they detest, or more appropriately, fear the possibility of you exposing them.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because it puts them at risk of losing respect in the community.

Therefore, the last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Understand that bullies make everything about appearances. And when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both.

Again, don’t be afraid. Instead, see it as they’re unwittingly revealing themselves and let them go at it. Let them launch their personal attacks.

By attacking you, they only tell off on themselves.

This post was all about the possible reactions of bullies when you begin speaking out against bullying. The purpose of this post was to help you see through their reactions so that you’ll be more encouraged to talk.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. What Constitutes Bullying and What Doesn’t

2. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection

3. Bullying and Banter: 9 Differences You Must Know

4. The Effects of Bullying: 17 Negative Results on Victims

5. Bullying and Narcissism: 7 Secret Powers of Narcopathic Bullies