Category: abuse

the impacts of bullying at work

The Impacts of Bullying: 10 Negative Outcomes on Victims

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‘Want to know the impacts of bullying on your life? Here are all the negative outcomes you’ll face if you aren’t careful.

the impacts of bullying

It’s true that bullying undermines your confidence. However, the impacts go much deeper.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the impacts of bullying that you probably haven’t thought about and other reasons it’s important that you protect yourself against bullies.

Once you learn all the deeper issues it causes, you will be more compelled to guard your mental health against bullies.

This post is all about the impacts of bullying and all the deeper issues it causes so that you can beware and be aware.

The Impacts of Bullying

Although bullying can crush your self-esteem and instill fear into you. The consequence go much deeper. It can actually rewire your brain, therefore brainwashing you in nefarious ways.

Here are all the other negative things bullying does to your mental health.

1. Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullies start with subtle attacks. In fact, the assaults are so subtle that if you don’t watch out, you won’t even notice it. This is called gradualism and incrementalism.

In other words, bullies begin by taking teeny-weeny bites out of your self-esteem. It happens drop by drop. They take it up ever so slowly, step by itsy-bitsy step.

Again, they escalate their bullying so slowly and so tiny that it isn’t noticeable. However, you may feel that something is off when you interact with these people.

You may notice that something doesn’t feel too good but you can’t quite put a finger on it. It’s that subtle!

But here’s your first clue.

The Impacts of Bullying:

Your body will know if you pay attention to it.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you will pick up some pretty creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you’ll feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense your bullies watching your every move. They’ll scope you out, studying you like a specimen.

You may look up from whatever you’re doing or turn around and happen to see them of the corner of your eye. These people will be eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. And you’ll notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing you to see how you respond.

If you respond the way they want you too, your bullies will start committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately. They do it to soften you up by making the abuse virtually unrecognizable.

They will continue to take the abuse up little by little until it’s no longer unrecognizable.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse may be so severe that everyone around you sees it too. When you begin defending yourself, your bullies and everyone else will likely gaslight you.

Moreover, the bullying will be so out of control that the bullies can no longer help themselves. In fact, they won’t even try to hide it anymore.

At this point, why would they hide it?

Why put in the work to hide something you’ve gotten away with for so long? When there’s no incentive to stop, they can bully you out in the open. Right?

By the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying you. In fact, they’ve gotten completely comfortable with it.

And once people have grown accustomed to harming you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone. And this goes no matter what you do to protect yourself.

Therefore, when you finally get fed up and begin asserting your boundaries, they’ll only ignore you and keep right on abusing you. Through their actions, they’ll implicitly communicate that they don’t give a damn about your feelings or your pain.

Your bullies and everyone else will only see you as their victim. And they’ll damn well make sure you to stay that way.

2. The Impacts of Bullying:

People grow comfortable bullying and abusing you.

 And why not? They’ve been getting a huge, psychological payoff from it. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

At this stage, your bullies will only respond with anger and resentment when you finally stand up to them. They will be like, “How DARE you! How dare you take away our fun!”

Therefore, bullies get offended when someone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. And they’ll do everything they can to break it! All to keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies!

Again, the conditioning starts small. You must know how to recognize bullying when it first begins. Why? Because, the longer it goes on, the bigger the abuses get.

Moreover, the harder it is for you to defend yourself and put a stop to it.

Again, to recognize bullying in the early stages, you must listen to your body. Why? Because your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes bullies put out. So, pay attention!

3. It Diminishes Your Ability to Trust Yourself.

Why? Because bullies constantly attack your judgement, decisions, and feelings. Moreover, bystanders may also negate and condemn them.

Therefore, when people bully you, they teach you that, you have no right to be angry or sad because you deserve the abuse. And bullies are experts at blaming you for the bullying you suffer.

The impacts of bullying run much deeper than you realize.

4. The Impacts of bullying:

It forces you to take blame for the abuse.

You may be conditioned by bullies and bystanders. Moreover, people in authority, friends, and family may also condition you.

They may demand that you suck it up and negate your own painful feelings. In that, they’ll train you to deny that they’re abusing you.

Your bullies and their minions will train you to believe that other people’s vile behavior is your fault. Also, they’ll try to make you believe that something is wrong with you.

They’ll make statements, such as, “If you weren’t such a troublemaker, people wouldn’t mess with you all the time!” Your bullies will also snooker you into thinking that everything that goes wrong is because of you.

In short, your bullies will claim that their abuse is somehow justified.

5. You withdraw from people.

As a result, you may withdraw. Why? Because you’ll fear attracting bullies and bullying behavior from the people around you.

Bullies will make you believe:

  • That you take things wrong.
  • You’re too sensitive.
  • That you had it coming.
  • That there’s something wrong with the way you are.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you express yourself.
  • There’s something wrong with the way you come across to people.

6. The Impacts of Bullying:

You stop believing in yourself.

In short, you stop believing in yourself. Even worse, you lose trust in yourself.  You begin doubting your abilities, and capabilities. And once this happens, you become a perfect victim for more bullies.

Bullying doesn’t only attack your physical body, but also your psyche and emotional well-being. It breaks your spirit and your very soul. Therefore, the impacts of it can be devastating!

Being a target of bullying is a hell that no one who hasn’t been there can possibly comprehend. When you’re bullied, you’re in the fight of your life.

Moreover, you fight for your life!

Fighting for your life can mean fighting for your personal power and dignity. It can mean fighting to keep your confidence and self-esteem. Also, it can mean making sure the abuse doesn’t affect your performance at school or work.

You’re fighting to make sure that it doesn’t negatively impact your ability to make smart decisions and life-choices. And you’re fighting to maintain your health and your sanity. Ultimately, you’re fighting to keep the abuse from effecting your entire future.

Why? Because you know that if you allow them to break you, you give them power over your life. You may not end up dead, but you won’t really live. You’ll only exist.

7. Bullying Negatively Affects Your School or Work Performance.

Bullying puts you in survival mode. This can have a devastating effect on grades and performance.

Anytime you are a victim of bullying, bullies forcibly put you on constant alert for an attack. It’s as if you have a target on your back and you must grow eyes in the back of your head.

You become hyper-vigilant. This only breeds anxiety and leads to exhaustion. Not only is your body tire,  but also your mind.

When you need to focus on survival, safety takes priority over school lessons and work performance. How can one concentrate when they’re constantly bombarded with threats, taunts, name-calling, and physical violence?

How can a person work or learn effectively when they’re stuck in fight-or-flight mode? It’s almost impossible!

When you’re in survival mode over a long period of time, the overabundance of cortisol will cause your memory to atrophy. Moreover, it will effect your emotional regulation and ability to maintain positive relationships.

Therefore, should it be any wonder that the majority of victims of bullying have such poor school grades and work performance?

8. The impacts of Bullying:

It causes learned helplessness.

After people have berated you for so long, you begin to believe it yourself. And because it shows up in your every day performance, you simply stop trying altogether.

In conclusion, bullying can impact ALL areas of your life.

9. It Stunts Your Social Development.

Although social intelligence won’t necessarily keep you from becoming a target of bullying, it will most certainly lessen your chances of it.

Social intelligence always has and always will supersede book-smarts. It will get you much further than college degrees, awards, and credentials alone.

It’s the reason high school dropouts have become millionaires. It is also why many college graduates have ended up flipping burgers at McDonald’s.

Social intelligence is THE most important quality you can have. It’s the highest paid skill and most important asset in the entire universe.

Luckily, Social Intelligence can be taught!

In the past, people thought that social intelligence was the one skill that could never be taught. They believed that you were either born with it, or you weren’t. And if you weren’t, it was something that you had to accept.

Thankfully, we now know differently.

Sadly, if you’re a target of bullying, the abuse you suffer can batter your self-esteem into oblivion. As a result, you withdraw from the rest of the world.

When you’ve been bullied for so long, you come to believe that you’re inferior to everyone else. You’re afraid to talk, afraid to mix and mingle, afraid of any social situations.

10. The impacts of bullying:

You creative a fantasy world to live in.

In other words, you retreat into yourself and live inside your own head. You create a fantasy world, where you feel safe, wanted, and loved.

In other words, you create a world of imaginary people who accept you.

As a result, you shut out the “real world” and live in this fantasy world- this safe haven you’ve created. However, this is not good because, when this happens, you stop watching people and the world around you.

Also, you stop learning the social graces and nuances that you need to know in order to nurture relationships. And, before you know it, you become socially awkward.

You become too quiet, shy, and reserved. Moreover, you look through people instead of at them.

Instead of smiling and saying hello, you pass others by without saying a word to them.

Also, you become sullen and spaced out instead of upbeat and engaging. You feel numb instead of the emotions you should feel at different times.

In Closing:

This is why it’s important that you make a conscious effort to save your self-esteem. How you do it is to keep your heart open.

Therefore, meet new people and make friends outside the bullying environment. Create positive interactions and experiences away from your bullies or anyone else who knows you from the toxic place.

Do what you must do to keep your self-esteem intact and continue to grow your social intelligence.

No matter what happens, stay strong. Hold on as much of your confidence as possible. And most of all, know that none of the bullying you suffer has anything to do with you.

 Let me assure you. There are people out there who care. Keep the faith, keep believing in yourself, and stand strong!

This post is all about the impacts of bullying so that you know what to watch for and begin taking care of your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

how to regain your power over your life

How to Regain Your Power: 9 Ways to Empower Yourself

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‘Want to know how to regain your power? Here are 9 ways to empower yourself that you need to know about.

how to regain your power

Everyone wants to have power. In fact, it’s human nature to seek power. Because to be completely powerless is the perfect description of hell.

However, bullies can strip you of your personal power. And if you no longer have your personal power, you are powerless.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to regain your personal power so that you can take back control of your life.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be a powerful force in your own life. You will get back your freedom and your autonomy. Then you will be able to live your life as you see fit.

This post is all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and live your life on your terms.

How to Regain Your Power

Everyone wants power, if only a little of it. And sadly, bullies have ways of taking away your power.

Consequently, when a person is totally powerless, they live their life on autopilot. Figuratively, they’re only a leaf being blown around in the wind. They’re a sailboat without a sail- being blown on whatever course life dictates for them.

And it’s a terrible way to live. Without power, you don’t live. You only exist!

Really stop and think about it for a moment. To have power over nothing! Can you imagine it? It’s hard to, isn’t it? It’s the worst thing that could happen to you!

Real Power

Most people do not have to hurt others to achieve power. They feel powerful through their accomplishments. In other words, they get their power from being able to control their own lives, not someone else’s.

People who aren’t bullies get their sense of power through having success in their jobs. Moreover, they feel powerful from having successful home lives. They may have a loving family and a happy home.

Therefore, they take great pride in their families.

Their power may also come from their talents, their finances, and their physical health. This is why people start their own businesses or do strenuous workouts every day. It’s also why they aren’t afraid to display their talents and gifts.

For instance, a husband and father gets his sense of power from his ability to provide for and take care of his wife and children. A writer gets her sense of power through her writing and the ability to achieve readership.

A comedian gets his sense of power from doing stand-up comedy and his ability to make people laugh. And a singer gets her sense of power from her ability to entertain people with her beautiful voice.

An athlete gets his sense of power through competing in and winning at a sport. Also, students get their sense of power through making exceptional grades and through their diplomas and degrees.

But what do all these people have in common? It’s that they can all achieve their power without stepping on others.

Therefore, understand that getting power doesn’t always require hurting others. And there are no winners and losers. There’s equality, cooperation, and mutual respect. This kind of power is known as personal power.

And personal power is real power!

How to Regain Your Power:

Personal Power

In her book, “The Abusive Relationship,” Patricia Evans puts power in two categories- personal power and power over.

Personal power is power over your life’s trajectory. It’s the power to direct your own path- to choose your own wants.

It’s having the autonomy to make choices and decisions for yourself, and to do your own thing. There’s no need to harm another person because you already direct your own life-movie.

Having personal power puts you in the driver’s seat of your life. Therefore, you are the one who chooses your destination and which route you want to take to get there.

You are the captain of your own ship. The winds may change and blow you off course. However, with personal power, you have a rudder to steer your ship back on course.

You may have to take detours and you may have to take the long way to your destination. But you know where you’re going, and you eventually get there.

There are two types of power.

Power Over

Sadly, bullies cannot achieve personal power. Why? Because most bullies are incompetent fools who have no real intelligence. They only know how to act intelligent and fool others.

Moreover, they also have no sense of responsibility. They have no talent and no redeeming qualities whatsoever.

The only way bullies can achieve power is to inflict harm on others. The only way they can achieve satisfaction in their jobs, families, or finances is by steamrolling people.

Bullies are so inept they can’t even survive in this world without hurting others. This kind of power is called power over.

Power over is lording it over another person through force, coercion, and trickery. It violates boundaries.

Power over shows no respect or regard. Moreover, it seeks to oppress and block you from all the good things in life- love, peace, success, happiness- freedom.

In power over there is a winner (the bully) and a loser (the victim). It is a zero-sum game. Always!Power over is against personal power and it only takes it away.

If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s important that you begin taking steps to take back your personal power. Only then will you be free. And you’ll finally begin living instead of existing.

How to Regain Your Power:

Bullies use Power Over.

What do we mean when we mention, “personal power?” Simple. We mean the ability to influence the events that happen in our lives.

When bullies target you for bullying, they find ways of stripping you of your personal power. Most do this bit by tiny bit.

In other words, they gradually escalate the attacks until they leave you utterly powerless. However, there are simple methods you can use to reclaim your personal power and feel more in control of your circumstances.

9 Ways to Empower Yourself

1. Have a strong set of beliefs and principles.

When you have a strong set of beliefs and principles, you’re least likely to fall for any lies and name-calling your bullies bombard you with. Therefore, you’re least likely to allow them to influence how you see yourself.

Moreover, you won’t make decisions and choices based on their approval. Instead, you will do what you know is best for you and what makes you feel most alive.

3. Be okay with who you are.

Realize that you are perfect just the way God made you. However, know that it’s okay if you want to improve yourself. There’s nothing wrong with becoming a better version of yourself because there’s always room for improvement.

And this goes for everyone. The problem comes when you allow others’ opinions of you to change the way you view yourself.

Never put yourself down because bullies and others are putting you down. No matter what they say or how they act toward you, don’t lose sight of your worth.

Continue to value yourself and refrain from thinking that you should be like someone else. You are you. Be okay with it. Practice self-acceptance and self-love while you improve.

3. How to Regain Your Power:

Follow your goals and dreams.

What is your passion? What are the things you love to do the most? Whatever they are, follow them and do the things you absolutely love to do.

Do what makes you feel alive! Not only will you feel more in control of your life, but you won’t have time to worry about what anyone thinks of you.

Additionally, you’ll be so busy working on your goals and pursuing your dreams that they won’t even be an afterthought. And you’ll be much happier!

But be prepared for others to resist your positive change.

Get ready for bullies to notice the positive change in you and put up some resistance to it. How will they do this?  They’ll intensify their attacks.

They’ll ridicule the positive changes you make. Also, they’ll bring up your past.

However, realize that they will do these things because the new you will threaten their power. Moreover, the new happier and more confident you will be something that your bullies won’t be used to seeing.

And it will throw them off balance. But don’t allow the fear of it to stop you. Keep working on you and doing what you love. I guarantee that it will pay off later.

Understand that your bullies have grown comfortable in seeing you depressed, miserable, and beaten down. Moreover, when you begin this positive change, you take your bullies out of their comfort zones.

And most people love their comfort zones and will fight like the devil to stay in them.

4. How to Regain Your Power:

Replace negative self-talk with that which is positive.

In other words, stop beating yourself up. Realize that your bullies and abusers have conned you into believing that you aren’t good enough. But you are good enough and that you’re just as worthy as the next Joe Schmo.

Instead of saying to yourself, “I’ll never be good enough,” say, “I AM good enough now and I’m only going to get better.”

5. Walk away from toxic people.

Toxic people only want to bring you down and keep you there. These people are bullies and abusers. However, they can also be fakes who pose as your friends.

Therefore, know that anyone who even subtly insults you doesn’t deserve one micro-second of your time. You’d much rather be alone than with fake friends who throw zingers and backhanded compliments at you.

You’ll be much happier without them. So,be patient and better friends will come along. I promise you!

6. Get healthy.

When you’re healthy, you’re happy. Get outside and get some sunlight.  Don’t forget to exercise. I promise you that you’ll feel so much better! Also, you’ll have more of your power.

Taking these steps may feel strange at first. Trying new things always does. However, with time, it will become like second nature and you will feel so much better about yourself.

You’ll feel stronger, more confident and freer! Now that is power!

Moreover, you’ll be surprised at how quickly your life will improve!

7. How to Regain Your Power:

Expose the bullies by reporting them to a manager or a school staff member.

Understand that bullies and their followers may call you a snitch. However, when it comes to your personal safety, you’re not being a snitch.

You’re only trying to protect yourself by getting the teacher or supervisor involved. This may or may not work. However, it’s always wise to report the bully if you cannot take care of it on your own.

Maybe you’re a small 5′ 4″, 110 pound female being bullied at work by a 6′ 4″, 225 pound gargantuan male. In cases like these, report it to a supervisor or manager and even police, if need be.

8. Turn your pain into power.

What do I mean by this?

You can take any abuse you suffer and use it for the benefit of others. That’s a success! And it’s the best poke in the eye and slap in the face to your bullies and abusers.

I say this because I get plenty of push-back from a few of my old pals from way back when. Think about this. If you speak your truth and your former abusers lash back, it’s because they know they’re guilty.

If they weren’t guilty, they wouldn’t care so much. Also, If your voice wasn’t so powerful and you weren’t telling the truth, your bullies wouldn’t push back so hard.

The reason why you’ve probably gotten a few nasty or threatening messages is that your former abusers know you’re telling the truth. And they’re scared to death that you’ll expose them.

How to Regain Your Power:

Also, here’s another interesting point you probably haven’t thought of.

Your bullies are probably angry that they failed to accomplish their objective. And that objective was to destroy your life.

In other words, they expected you to drown. They just knew you’d crash and burn, and you didn’t!

Therefore, that’s a huge disappointment to them. It’s a blow to their overinflated egos! And now, they’re coming back to try and finish the job.

Therefore, you should welcome their resentment. Why? Because it only shows that they’re desperate.

This should only inspire you to double down on spreading awareness of bullying. And it should encourage you to keep reaching out to other victims with your message.

Moreover, it should compel you to speak to them about why people bully. And you want to call out the tactics and mindsets of bullies and expose them.

And lastly, your bullies’ behavior should make you want to warn victims of the effects of bullying. You must show other victims what to look for. In short, they only light a fire under you.

Another way you can turn your pain into power is to stop calling yourself a victim and refer to yourself as a target instead.

9. Be successful!

Success is the best revenge against bullies. Therefore, work on your goals and pursue your dreams. Go after the life you want!

Then watch your bullies lose their minds as you achieve success after success!

This post was all about how to regain your power so that you can overcome bullying and take control of your life.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Bullying and Power: 2 Categories of Power

2. Target vs Victim: 5 Reasons Your Choice of Words Matters

3. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

Encouraging Words for Bullying: You Can Overcome!

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If you’re being bullied, I want to give you some encouraging words for bullying. Also, you need to know why you deserve better and why the bullying isn’t your fault. Here are some truths you need to hear so that you can feel better and stronger.

encouraging words for bullying

When people target you for bullying, you hear mostly destructive and negative words.

Therefore, in this post, you will find encouraging words for bullying so that you can finally see yourself for the wonderful human being you are. Moreover, you’ll realize that the bullying you suffer won’t last forever and there will come a day when you won’t even have to see your bullies’ faces anymore.

Once you learn all about these exciting probabilities, you will feel so much better. Also, you will look forward to a future with true friends who love you for you.

This post will give you encouraging words for bullying that you suffer. Moreover, it will remind you that you, as much as anyone else, deserve happiness and fulfillment. Lastly, it will assure you that what you’re going through is only temporary and that brighter days are ahead of you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying

People may bully you now but they won’t always. Although the bullying is intense- even unbearable, the struggle is only temporary.

I know what you’re going through because I’ve been there. You want to speak and be heard, but you’re only told to shut up by your classmates or coworkers.

You want to just live in peace. However, no one will let you. They only threaten physical harm, further degradation and humiliation.

School staff may threaten suspension or expulsion. HR at work may threaten to terminate you. Your supervisor may also threaten you with the loss of your job and livelihood.

Moreover, others may sabotage your opportunities! I know all too well the desire to move forward and go places, only for bullies to hold you back.

You only want to escape the torment. However, you’re stuck in a toxic environment with toxic people, against your will! I know the horror of knowing that others curse your very existence and bombard you with death threats.

I know what it feels like to have others force you to sacrifice your own needs and wants for their own satisfaction! And to see others getting gratification and entertainment- all at your expense.

Also, I know what it’s like to be marginalized, shut out and devalued as a person. Additionally, I know what it’s like to even be slapped, kicked, beaten, scorned, disregarded, walked on!

Bullies Don’t only want to hurt you. They want to destroy you!

It is a feeling of being run over by a truck, whose driver then stops, throws it into reverse, and backs over you again. The driver shifts back into drive and mows over you- yet again.

He then stops the truck, opens the door, sticks his head out, and asks, “Are you dead yet?”
And any signs of life- any whimper or movement only encourages the driver to close the door, shift into reverse again, and back over you again.

Therefore, he just keeps running and backing over you until you finally succumb to the trauma and die.

Yes. This is akin to what targets of bullying endure. Bullies want to destroy you, and it seems that they won’t relent until they are sure that they have done just that.

But know this. You will not have to deal with these people forever, and Karma does repay- in spades! If you keep believing in yourself, you will become successful and happy.

And when you finally get there, your bullies won’t even matter to you.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

Know that You CAN Overcome Bullying!

You are beautiful! Smart! Awesome! And one day, you will cross paths with people who will see your worth and love you. Even better, they will love you unconditionally- just for being YOU!

You will find a teacher, school, supervisor, or employer who will see the good you bring to the table. And these people will view you as the asset you truly are!
Don’t give up. You are worth fighting for!

There is Life After Bullying

People may bully you now. They may taunt you, call you ugly names and physically beat you. They may humiliate you, and turn others against you. Those around you may make you feel sad, alone, unattractive, and rejected in the present.

But rest assured, it won’t always be this way.

Take it from someone who has been there. I had no friends in middle school nor high school until I finally transferred to my new high school during my senior year.

Once I left *Oakley High School and began attending *Roseburg High School, that’s when life began. And I took back my power and started rebuilding every part of me that my bullies from the old school had torn down.

Leaving Oakley was the free feeling you get after walking away from a toxic and abusive boyfriend.

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

As an adult, my confidence and self-esteem blossomed.

Today, I’m a very happy adult woman and have so much to be thankful for. I have a family of my own. I enjoy my job and am comfortable in my own skin. I’ve accomplished more than I thought I ever would.

I also have grown to love myself- imperfections and all.

I don’t worry about what others think of me, and I permit myself to be me and to say no when I don’t want to get involved in or do something that doesn’t feel right to me.

These are freedoms that I will never again give up. Not without one hell of a fight!

Therefore, don’t Give Up! There’s beauty on the other side of bullying
I want you to know that the bullying you’re subjected to now will not last. And there’s a beautiful life waiting for you once it’s over.

So, whatever you do, don’t give up! Stay your course, and keep fighting. Hold on to your faith and your dignity with everything you have.

It may not seem like it now, but the best is yet to come, and the right people will find you.
Today, I’m surrounded by family and friends who love and accept me for me.

Moreover, I have friends I never have to explain anything to and who love my flaws and quirks along with my good qualities. I’m so secure with being myself that I can make fun of myself and have a good time doing it.

I’m relaxed, worry-free, and best of all, safe! I’ve found my group, and you will find yours. And once you find them, they’ll be well worth the wait!

You’re worth fighting and living for. Don’t give up now. Stick around! It gets better! Much better!

Encouraging Words for Bullying:

8 Things You Must Always Remember If You’re a Target of Bullying

1. It’s Not your fault.

Realize that you can never control someone else’s behavior. People have their own minds and they will do what they want. Therefore, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s actions but your own.

Don’t let your bullies blame you for their bad behavior!

2. There is nothing wrong with you.

Understand that the issue isn’t with you. It’s them. Anyone who sets out to harm someone else always has the problem.

Also, no one is perfect. We all have flaws and quirks. Therefore, embrace yours. Never allow bullies to make you feel bad over an imperfection.

If it’s something that you can change and that you want to change, then change it. However, if you can’t, then accept and embrace it.

3. You don’t have the issue. Your bullies do.

Again, you don’t have the problem. Your bullies do. Otherwise, they wouldn’t be so hell bent on hurting and destroying another human being.

4. Encouraging Words for Bullying:

It’s not about you. It’s about them.

In other words, bullying comes from self-servitude. Bullies bully to hide their own insecurities and keep up an image.

So, it’s about them. They’re only trying to make it about you.

5. You have value.

Everyone has value, even you. Realize that you’re just as good as the next person. You are beautiful just the way you are.

And you’re worthy of love and friendship. There will come a day when the right people come along and they will love you for you.

The things your bullies bully you for now will be the things people love you for later! Even now, you still have people who love you and believe in you.

6. You are stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be.

Bullies are cowards. The reason they bully you is to make themselves look bigger and better than you. Also, they do it to hide their own weaknesses.

Therefore, you are much stronger and braver than your bullies ever will be. Why? Because you don’t have to resort to such meanness. And that alone makes it so.

Keep being your awesome self!

7. You’re more powerful than you realize

You can do a lot more than you think you can. Moreover, you’re much smarter than they give you credit for. Realize that you’re a threat to your bullies’ power.

Also, know that most bullying comes from jealousy, fear, or insecurity. And the best are usually treated the worst.

Therefore, know that you’re here for a great purpose!

8. Life always gets better.

It may not seem like it at present, but life will eventually get better. You never know what tomorrow will bring.

Therefore, please hold on. Don’t give up hope! The best is yet to come!

The purpose of this post was to give you encouraging words for bullying you suffer. stay in the fight. don’t throw in the towel just yet! you never know what the future will bring.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Be Happy Be Yourself: 3 Benefits You Reap When You Stop Caring What Others Think

2. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

psychological abuse tactics examples

Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use

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‘Want to know the psychological abuse tactics most preferred by seasoned bullies. Here are all the psychological methods of expert bullying you need to know about.

psychological abuse tactics

Psychological abuse isn’t visible to the eyes. Therefore, it’s more difficult to provide evidence of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common psychological abuse tactics bullies use so that you can easily spot it, call it by name and describe it to protect yourself from further bullying.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be better to see it as it happens and defend yourself against it.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can avoid it and keep yourself safe from it.

Psychological Abuse Tactics

Seasoned bullies prefer psychological bullying over physical bullying. Why? Because this type of bullying offers easy deniability.

Unlike the physical kind, psychological bullying is less evident to any bystanders and witnesses. It leaves no visible bruises, cuts, or wounds.

In fact, it can be so subtle that even you, the victim, may not realize it’s happening. Therefore, you’ll never be able to prove that anyone ever bullied you.

Moreover, when you finally get fed up with their crap and report them to the higher-ups, it will be easier for the bullies to deny it. Also, if you stand up to the bullies, they’ll be able to play victim and make you look like the bad guy.

What are the mind games these bullies use?

1. Playing the victim.

Bullies will deliberately instigate an altercation. If you defend yourself, they’ll take your defense and twist it to make you look like the bully.

If the bully is female, she may cry those fake tears to garner sympathy. Consequently, if others aren’t wise to her, they’ll fall for her lies and blame you.

2. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Weaponizing mental health.

Also, they can use your reaction to their abuse to brand you as mentally unstable. With this tactic, bullies can easily destroy your credibility and reputation.

As a result, your relationships will likely suffer. Even worse, your bullies may then retaliate against you by escalating the harassment later.

3. quiet bullying.

Quiet bullying is bullying by dirty looks and using the silent treatment. Moreover, a quiet bully will use exclusion to bully you.

In the workplace, quiet bullying can happen through micro-managing. Also, a quiet workplace bully can assign impossible workloads and deadlines to a targeted employee.

Remember that the most talented bullies are the biggest cowards. Also, they’re the most successful actors and actresses. They have methods of harassment which are well-planned in advance.

4. Subtle Bullying Disguised as concern.

Subtle bullying can also come in the form of glares and the silent treatment. They also use soft smear campaigns.

A soft smear campaign is disguised as concern for your well being. For example, the bully may say something like, “Bless her heart. I’m really concerned about Kathy. I hope she gets the profession help she needs before it’s too late.”

And when you defend yourself against it, the bully can use your reaction as proof that you’re unhinged.

5. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Subtle bullying disguised as jokes.

Also, subtle bullying can disguise itself as jokes and fun. When you respond to this type of bullying, your bullies will make it look as if you can’t take a joke.

Therefore, understand that these bullies go to great lengths to prevent themselves from being exposed. They’re incredibly crafty. And they commit their attacks ever so slowly and subtly.

Moreover, they will bully undercover and hide behind a veil of superficial charm, fake playfulness, and deceit.

6. Weaponizing their social status.

These type of bullies are often in the popular crowd at school. You’ll also find them in the Good Ole’ Boy clique at work.

These bullies are often able to climb up the social ladder because of their superior social skills.  Also, they have the ability to read people and predict others’ reactions.

To top it off, they have a talent for keeping up appearances.

Therefore, they’re usually well-liked by teachers, school staff, supervisors, managers and CEOs. Also, many of them excel in studies and join clubs or sororities/fraternities at school.

Workplace bullies often make themselves out to be high performers at work. How do they do this? They do it by stealing over people’s ideas and taking credit for their work.

These bullies use their popularity as a shield from accountability. Moreover, their extreme likability adds a lot of weight to their words. This is why they often get away with bullying others.

If you live in a small town, these bullies likely come from families who have powerful local connections. This is all the more reason these people keep up appearances.

Psychological abuse Tactics:

Bullies with social status may use minions to do their dirty work for them.

Understand that these bullies likely have followers. They’re too chicken to get their hands dirty. Therefore, if they want to cause you any physical harm, they will often send one of their sycophants to do it for them.

Moreover, they will often these minions incentives to get the job done. They may offer them money and social status. Or they may offer them special favors.

Afterward, the followers will have served their purpose. Therefore, the bullies will likely discard them like a used piece of toilet paper.

However understand that most of their followers don’t really like them. Most will only kiss and cover their butts to get something from them. They may hope to get a little bit of power and social status.

7. Using their talent with words.

Many of these kinds of harassers are highly skilled wordsmiths. Therefore, they’re convincing liars and have the right answer for everything.

They’re good at rationalizing their behavior and justifying their actions. Moreover, these bullies are good at conjuring up a good story. So, they’re great storytellers. You’d think some of them would’ve chosen a career in writing.

8. Psychological Abuse Tactics:

Using their social skills to bully those who aren’t as fortunate.

Bullies on top of the pecking order will use their superb social skills to take advantage of the mentally disabled. For instance, they may taunt kids with Down’s Syndrome.

They may make fun of students with Cerebral Palsy or Traumatic Brain Injury.  And they’ll push around those with physical ailments, such as Diabetes, heart defects and food allergies.

Even sadder, they may quietly bully people who are paraplegic. However, they won’t be obvious when they bully these people. Why? Because others tend to look down on those who bully those in wheelchairs.

People with weight issues, those with low self-esteem, or those with smaller builds are also fair game to these types of bullies.

Again, psychological bullies are such sniveling cowards. Otherwise, they wouldn’t select such vulnerable people to push around in the first place.

9. Gaslighting

Bullies gaslight you to brainwash you into believing that you’re losing your mind. Gaslighting always starts out subtle. However, it gradually gets more obvious over time.

Understand that the reason bullies gaslight you is to maintain their power over you. They know that once you get beyond their control, you’re likely to talk about their abuse and expose them for the monsters they are. And they can’t have that!

The term, “gaslighting,” comes from the movie, “Gaslight.” The movie is about a married couple. The husband dims the gaslights, then denies it in a way to make his wife think she’s going cuckoo.

This is why gaslighting is one of the most evil types of abuse.

Psychological Abuse tactics:

Understand that these types of bullies are the most cowardly of all.

Why? Because most of the abuse they dish out is strictly psychological. Moreover, they use these kinds of tactics because they’re afraid that someone just might stand up to them.

These bullies just might run up on somebody who will put them in their place. Even worse, they might do it publicly! 

In conclusion:

Sadly, you may have to go to school or work with these types of people. Therefore, there is no way to avoid them or to go no-contact.

 The best you can do is to see through these self-entitled, self-absorbed, and self-satisfied wimps. Also, you must learn their weaknesses so that you can find a way to expose them for the creeps they are.

This requires getting into the minds of these bullies. To properly defend yourself, you must think as they do, even though it’s not a pleasant place to be. And I’ll tell you! The souls of such people can be downright ugly!

However, sometimes it takes getting just as low, just as sneaky and just as nasty as your attacker if you ever want to expose them for what they are. Then, they’re more likely to back the hell off.

The more you know, the more you’’ll prepare and the better you’ll protect yourself from such people.

This post is all about psychological abuse tactics so that you can recognize them and protect yourself against them.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

2. Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

3. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

Bullying the Mentally Ill: 9 Reasons Why People Do It

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It’s a shame that no one wants to talk about bullies bullying the mentally ill.  It’s not even something the media talks about. ‘Want to know about the bullying the mentally ill face? Here are the details and how we can stand up for them.

Also, if you have a mental illness and people are bullying you because of it, you can use this information to stand up for yourself.

bullying the mentally ill

Whether you have a mental illness or not, bullies and human predators can weaponize it. In other words, they can use it to label you.

Remember that bullies search for any defect to use against you. Therefore, if you have a mental illness, you’re especially vulnerable.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn why bullies love bullying the mentally ill so that you can be a better advocate for yourself. Moreover, you can better protect someone else if you see them getting bullied.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to defend against bullying based on mental health.

This post is all about bullying the mentally ill so that you can stand against this insidious type of bullying.

Bullying the Mentally Ill

When bullies can con an entire community into deeming you unhinged, they can make you disappear and become irrelevant. And they can do it even after you’re dead.

The most insidious thing about this label is that, even if the person isn’t mentally ill, it can eventually cause them to doubt their own sanity. But understand this right now!

It’s not so much that they think you’re nuts. It’s that they want you to believe it. Why? Because, if they can make you believe it, then you’re more likely to live up to it.

The mental health label is the easiest for bullies to stick to you. Why? Because, although they can never prove you are, in fact, a basket case, there’s no way you can prove that you aren’t one.

The mental health label is the easiest to use.

This is why this label is the most widely used among bullies and society as a whole. Also, it’s the most common form of gaslighting. “Mentally unstable” can be used as a last resort when bullies run out of options and can’t pin anything else on you.

Think about it. They can’t as easily label you a whore if you haven’t slept around. Just the same, they can’t as easily label you a criminal if you don’t have a police record to prove it. And they can’t easily label you a thief if you never took anything that wasn’t yours.

Whereas, you can’t as easily disprove a mental imbalance. Therefore, the more we understand the ins, outs, and reasons behind the use of this label, the better we can defend against it.

Bullying the Mentally Ill:

7 Reasons Why bullies Use the Mental Health Label

Sadly, those with mental illness are the easiest to bully. Here’s why.

1. They have the least power.

 Because mental illness comes with a lot of stigma, people who have it are virtually powerless in the social arena. Bullies always target the powerless. Why? Because, without power, you’re at the mercy of everyone around you.

2. they’re least likely to be able to properly defend themselves.

When someone has a mental illness, chances are that they won’t be able to properly stand up to bullies. Put another way, they’ll likely become overly emotional when bullies attack them.

Therefore, other people won’t pay attention to the bullies’ attacks that cause the person to freak out. They’ll focus more on the victim’s emotional reaction.

Bullies instinctively know this. So, they take full advantage of it.

3. The mentally ill have the least representation.

The mentally ill are one of the largest minorities in this country. However, they get the least representation. And, without representation, you have no one to speak nor stand in your behalf.

Therefore, this leaves you much more vulnerable than other oppressed groups. Why? Because mental illness is the least visible.

You can see skin color right off. You can’t see mental illness as easily.

4. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Society gives the mentally ill the least credibility.

There’s a lot of stigma that surrounds mental illness and bullies know it. Therefore, they’re experts at using mental health stigma to their advantage.

In other words, if a person is known to have any kind of mental illness, then who’s going to believe them when they report that they’re being bullied?

5. People don’t take them seriously.

When people label you “mentally imbalanced,” chances are that no one will ever take you seriously again. People will automatically doubt everything you do, good or bad.

Anytime society sticks a person with the “mentally imbalanced” label, it can be worse than if they deemed them a criminal. Why? Because at least people take criminals, even murderers and rapists more seriously.

6. they’re the easiest targets in the world.

It’s no secret that the mentally ill are easy prey for bullies. In fact, you don’t have to have a mental illness. All it takes is for people to think you have one and they can target you for these kinds of bullying.

Therefore, the label of mental instability is the easiest and most effective label to stick to a person. Moreover, if you do have a mental illness, it just makes it easier for them to label you.

Sadly, a label like this tends to have loads of staying power. Again, it’s the hardest to disprove – especially when the object of it is being bullied and mobbed.

Why? Because there’s a good chance that any target of bullying will be an emotional wreck because of the chronic abuse they suffer.

The bullies can use your perfectly normal reactions as confirmation of mental illness. And no one else will know the difference. It’s that easy!

7. Bullying the Mentally Ill: 

People can easily weaponize mental illness.

In other words, they can use the target’s mental illness against them. They can use it to discredit them. Also, bullies can use the person’s mental illness to distract others’ attention from their own bad behavior.

Why? Because, if someone is mentally ill, the mental illness will be all people can focus on.

“Oh, my God! She’s going bonkers again!”

Others focus on your reaction rather than what your bullies did to cause it.

8. Those with mental illness are easiest to silence.

Bullies can use mental illness to keep you quiet. If you know that people think you’re cray-cray, you’re going to be too afraid to open your mouth.

Why? Because you know that people probably won’t believe you. They will only say that, because of your “mental instability,” you’re probably just having paranoia.

Moreover, you’ll be too afraid to fight back because if you do, you know that the bullies will only convincingly reverse roles and play victim. Then, others will only assume that you went postal and either hurt those poor innocent people.

If you begin shouting and cursing people out because they pushed you too far, others will only take it as you having a meltdown. All because you’re just “mentally imbalanced.”

Therefore, the bullies use your reactions to protect themselves from accountability. They can also keep their own reputations spotless as they continue to bully you.

The natural human response is to react and defend yourself when attacked. And people can easily mistake this natural response for mental illness.

9. Bullying the Mentally Ill:

Mental Illness is the easiest distraction.

Again, if the victim is known to have a mental illness, then who’s going to pay attention to the bullies when they bully this person. They’ll be too busy focusing on the victim’s reaction rather than the bullies’ behavior that caused it.

It’ll happen when people walk in on you as you’re telling your bullies where to stick it. Moreover, these people will only catch the tail end of the confrontation. Then they’ll draw the wrong conclusions.

Understand that this is what your bullies are counting on. They provoke you just to set you up to look like you’ve completely “lost it.” Therefore, any witnesses who happen to walk by will get that impression.

Bullies do this all the time to discredit you and cover their behinds. If the bully can make you look loony, they get to continue pushing your buttons freely and with impunity.

Moreover, when you defend yourself, passers-by will only sigh and think, “Uh-oh! There they go again! They’re having another mental episode!

So, What Should you do in this Situation?

The trick is to stay calm. Emotions are your enemy and bullies will only weaponize it.

Stand up to them but do it in a calm manner! Look them in the eye, and you tell them,
“You’re wrong, and you know you’re wrong! I’m not going to debate this any further with you!”

Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there slack-jawed. If the bully follows you and asks, “What’s your problem?” don’t explain it to them. They’re not five years old.

Therefore, you don’t owe them any further explanation. Say as little as possible. Just tell them, “You know what my problem is!”

The bully may continue to follow you and ask, “What did I do to you?”
Then you say, “You know what you did! Now get lost!”

Be firm but don’t yell. Yelling makes you look like a basket case.

The bully may not change their ways or their attitude. However, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing that you put your foot down and looked less “unstable” to any bystanders!

Therefore, the best thing you can do in this situation is to keep your head and continue showing them up. It may take a while. But eventually, the label will get old and wear itself out.

Then, it will lose it’s effect.

This post was all about bullies who love bullying the mentally ill so that you know how to respond without looking unstable.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Easy Targets for Bullies: 6 Groups of People Bullies Love to Target

2. Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

3. Bullied for Being Autistic: 7 Reasons Those with ASD Suffer High Rates of Bullying

4. Weaponizing Mental Health: 7 Reasons Bullies Label You Mentally Ill

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them: 5 Ways to Counter Bullying

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If you’re being bullied, do you want to know how to go about using your enemy’s attacks against them? Here are all the defense tactics you need to know about.

using your enemy's attacks against themUsing your enemy’s attacks against them is the most strategic thing you can do when you’re being bullied.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn exactly how to do this so that you can better defend yourself against bullying.

Once you learn all about these important tips, you’ll be a force to be reckoned with and your bullies likely won’t bother you anymore.

This post is all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can emerge a winner and live in peace.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them

You may not think so. But there are ways you can use your enemy’s attacks against them when you’re dealing with bullies. So, how do you do that?

There are several ways.

1. Drag them out.

What do I mean by this?

When they attack you with insults, you simply say, “That’s your opinion,” or “Opinions vary.” When you do this, you will only force the bullies to repeat the attacks over and over again. In other words, you force them drag out the insults until they sound boring to any bystanders.

I won’t kid you. This technique won’t be an easy thing to do. Any time you’re attacked, your first instinct will be to jab back with attacks of your own.

However, this will only proves ineffective. And it’ll pull you down to your bullies’ level.

This method works wonders in cases of school bullying. It can be effective in the workplace too. However, it’s much harder and usually takes much longer to have an effect on the job.

Why? Because adults are more tenacious. Also, they’re much stealthier with their bullying than schoolkids are. Therefore, again, this strategy works much better in the school environment.

2. Respond but don’t react.

Respond, yes. But react, no.

And how you respond is with short comebacks like those above. Then walk away and leave the bullies standing there, running their mouths and looking foolish.

Why? Because bullies want you to react. In other words, they want you to attack them back with name-calling, yelling and cursing. Therefore, the trick is to not give them the response they want.

When you refuse to give them the response they want , their natural reactions will be to repeat, repeat, repeat like a broken record.

In other words, you force the bullies to repeat the same attacks until they get so old and stale that bystanders get so sick of hearing it that they no longer pay attention to it.

In deploying this neat little method, you expose the bullies’ fakery. Also, you draw attention to the childishness of their attacks.

In that, you expose the weakness of the bullies’ position, which they stupidly think is their strength. Therefore, instead of turning their “audience” against you, your bullies end up alienating them.

Why? Because the bullies end up boring the hell out of any bystanders. And why not? They’ve heard the same tired insults for too long.

3. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Use their emotions against them- hypersensitivity

Bullies are the most hypersensitive people you’ll ever meet. Ha! And they say that you’re too sensitive? Oh yes! Bullies will accuse you of being what they themselves are.

But have you noticed how they explode in anger and indignation over the smallest of perceived slights? Or how bullies, particularly female bullies, will be the ones who dissolve into a puddle of tears if someone even looks at them cross-ways, or says something hurtful to them!

Or worse, they get held accountable for their bad behavior? I saw this happen at school on several occasions and I’ve got to admit, it was hilarious!

In truth, bullies have the sensitivity of the princess in the classic, “The Princess and the Pea.”

The double-standard is clear. It’s funny how bullies feel intense resentment when you speak out about their abuse. Yet, they feel entitled to do things that are a thousand times worse, not to mention, unspeakable, to you.

But we are not supposed to talk about that. Right?

Actions speak louder than words. Therefore, you need to rely less on words and more on others’ actions and behavior. That way, you can get answers to any questions you have about bullies, abusers, or anyone who does not have your best interests in mind.

4. Weaponize your bullies’ triggers.

Here’s how you expose the bullies for the brutes they are. Use their own tactics against them! How you do this is to find what triggers their emotions, then use it to your advantage.

And why not? They’ve been doing the same to you for a long time now, haven’t they? As much as I hate to say it, sometimes you must play the bully’s game if you expect to survive.

And I know it’s not a pleasant place to be. It sucks! But sometimes, you must wade through crap to come out clean on the other side.

Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Here’s how you do it!

1. Get the bullies in public.

In other words, get them in front of coworkers and supervisors, or classmates and teachers. Then very sneakily do something you know will trigger them.

For instance, you could look at them and smile as if you know something they don’t.  This is a good way to bait them into a reaction.

Then, you can stand back and watch with pleasure as your bullies yell, scream and curse. Moreover, you can enjoy seeing the “what the hell” look on the faces of any bystanders.

And you’ll laugh to yourself as your bullies expose themselves in front of everyone.

If you live in a one-party consent jurisdiction, record the outburst, and if you’re sure it’s safe, blast it all over social media.

2. Befriend others your bullies have bullied.

Befriending others the bullies have harmed also has a way of getting under their skin. Bullies hate it when you talk to people they hate as much as they do you.

Also, they especially hate it when their targets unite and form a group! That really ticks them off!

Why? Because, deep down, it intimidates them. Think about it. Bullies always run in packs and they catch their targets when they’re alone.

But when a group of victims ban together, the bullies feel threatened because they lose power. Remember that strength comes in numbers. And numbers scare the hell out of bullies.

In fact, they put them on the defense.

5. Using Your Enemy’s Attacks Against Them:

Trick your bullies into coming after you.

This may be scary to do but trust me. Get your bullies angry enough at you and they will come to you. Play on the natural human tendency to react out of anger when pushed or baited.

In other words, get your bullies to reach to your moves. Make them pursue you because they only expend their own energy by chasing you. An added benefit to this is that you force your bullies to act on your terms.

Also, when you trick them into pursuing you, you automatically fool them into thinking that they’re controlling the situation.

However, there’s one requirement for this to work:

You must remain calm.

Calmness always equals the ability to think more clearly. Emotions, on the other hand, block your ability to think and strategize effectively.

Also, when you do get your bullies to come for you, always get them on your territory. If you cannot get them into your element, then choose neutral ground. Never meet bullies on their turf! It’s much too dangerous.

If you can get them on your territory, you’ll keep your bearings while the bullies will be on the defensive. Why? Because they’ll be on unfamiliar ground. Moreover, they won’t feel you pulling their invisible strings.

When you bait your bullies, make your bait so sweet that they can’t refuse. Use yourself as bait if necessary. This works especially if they’re so pissed at you that they can’t see past their desire to “get you.”

Their intense rage will blind them to reality and they’ll be more than happy to come to where you are. Moreover, the angrier they are, the more desperate they’ll be to get back at you. And the easier they’ll be for you to lead them by the nose… right into the trap that you’ve prepared for them.

But do it with caution, of course.

And if you can get your bullies to dig their own graves, you’ve already won. To quote Sun Tsu, “Never interfere when an enemy is destroying themselves.”

Exposure is the best way to conquer bullies! So, out them! Better yet, trick them into outing themselves!

This post was all about using your enemy’s attacks against them so that you can expose your bullies without them realizing it and save yourself from future bullying.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. The Advantages of Having Enemies: 7 Powerful Positives You Can Take from It

2. 7 Secrets to Instantly Expose Bullies

3. Bullies Have Enemies: 3 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage

bullying the disabled people

Bullying the Disabled: 5 Reasons Bullies Target the Disabled

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‘Want to know the reasons why so many people participate in bullying the disabled? If you are disabled or have a loved one who is, knowledge is the first step of defense. Here are the most common reasons you need to know about.

bullying the disabled

Millions of people with disabilities suffer horrendous bullying every day. It’s bad enough that they must contend with a disability they didn’t ask for. However, it’s much worse when they must face the cruelty of bullies along with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the most common reasons bullies prefer bullying the disabled people so that you can find out what cowards these people truly are. Moreover, you can use it to give them a dose of their own medicine when you see them target someone with a disability.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will be able to more successfully defend yourself if you fall into this unfortunate category. And if you’re a perfectly healthy person and you see this kind of bullying, you can be an upstander and stand up for the person being bullied.

This post is all about bullying the disabled people and why people target them for cruelty so that you’ll have the knowledge you need to use it against bullies .

Bullying the Disabled

Before we go on, let me tell you that those with disabilities, especially people with mental disabilities, are some of the most resilient people you can find. This is what I’ve discovered.

The Strongest, Purest, and bravest of Souls

…are those with mental disabilities and those with functional needs.

If you’re from my generation, I’m sure you remember the series from the early ’90s, “Life Goes On.”

Therefore, if you remember this television series, then you automatically think of Corky Thatcher. He was the mentally challenged middle child of the Thatcher family, played by Chris Burke.

In fact, he has Down’s Syndrome in real life. Yet, he made it as an actor!

This post isn’t for personal gain. Moreover, chances are that neither Chris Burke nor any of the other cast members or producers will ever read this post.

Therefore, this post is strictly from the heart. Moreover, it’s about something that I’ve noticed on many, many occasions throughout my lifetime.

The Mentally and Intellectually disadvantaged have the purest and sweetest of hearts. However, they live in a world that looks down on them.

They’re the unwanted. People shun, ridicule, and brutalize them all the time. Yet, these angels maintain their smiles and their unconditional kindness.

Moreover, their moral compasses never waiver. They’re innocent, childlike, and have hearts of gold.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Exhibit the Most Resilience

I write books about unsung heroes, who are different and who bullies target daily. But I’ll tell you this:

These courageous, amazing real-life heroes are the best of the human race! I admire their unbreakable will and unshakeable courage.

The mentally disabled have a dogged determination, and amazing ability to keep smiles on their faces even under the most challenging of circumstances!

These are the people who have the fortitude to overcome odds that would be overwhelming to a cast majority of people. And I state this with full conviction.

These beautiful souls also work the lowliest of jobs. In other words, they do jobs that most people think are beneath them. Also, they display the best work ethic, the most dedication, and the most pride in their work. Yet, others treat them the worst and supervisors and coworkers devalue them.

Most Others Don’t Appreciate nor Value Them

These angels have more heart and soul than those who are typical and twice their ages.

You have to wonder how they do it. How do they find the resolve to go up against such tremendous odds every single day?

How do they keep pushing amid jeers, jokes, and cruel insults? Let me remind you. These are situations under which most everyday people would’ve thrown in the towel?

Here’s another reason why I salute the mentally and intellectually challenged. They don’t let on that they even realize it when the rest of the world is showing it’s booty to them.

Moreover, they’re the people who never complain nor feel sorry for themselves. On the other hand, most everyday people only crumble any time life gives them a one-two punch.

Still, people give people with these disabilities the least respect. Others devalue and abuse these people the most- all because they aren’t like them.

Moreover, these are the people who don’t retreat into drugs and alcohol. Instead, they retreat into their work and hobbies. They keep their minds occupied with things that interest them.

Bullying the Disabled:

They Display the Most Talent

I’ve found that these people show the most talent in the arts. Many of them draw and play musical instruments like professionals! Yet, others overlook those talents because of who they belong to!

I don’t claim to know for sure, so I can’t speak for all the mentally and intellectually disabled. However, through my observations over the years, I’ve come to realize this.

Maybe, those with these kinds of disabilities handle adversity with such grace and aplomb is that they’ve accepted it as their normal.

This isn’t to say that they don’t get hurt by it because they have feelings too. Moreover, they have the same desires as everyone else. They want to be loved and accepted for who they are.

We all have the desire to be apart of something and to be included. Humankind is hardwired that way.

But the mentally and intellectually challenged have such a way of bouncing back from years of repeated rejection. They come back to their cheerful selves much quicker! Moreover, they forgive much more readily and easily!

They Forgive the Quickest

That’s what makes them such beautiful souls! They’re the brightest and most brilliant lights in a very dark world! And it will go to their credit and be celebrated in The Afterlife!

Therefore, all I can say to the millions of earth angels is this:

Keep up the good fight! Keep being a shining example to the rest of the world! I love you all!

Bullying The Disabled:

those with Depression and who are neurologically diverse

Bullying disabled people is comparable to racism.

Discrimination is discrimination, and prejudice is prejudice. It doesn’t matter who’s dishing it out or who is receiving it.

Mentally ill people and the mentally disabled are still a minority. In fact, they’re the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation. It doesn’t matter their sex, race, religion, or orientation.

You may think that person is mentally imbalanced and they may not be. However, you’re still guilty of discrimination, prejudice, and bias.

Mentally ill people and those who are disabled are favorite targets of bullies.

Here are 5 reasons bullies target those with disabilities.

1. They are different.

It’s a fact that bullies will bully anyone who is different. It’s no different than being a racial minority, a woman, or being an older citizen.

2. They are least likely to have the ability or know-how to defend themselves.

People with mental illness or other disabilities are the most vulnerable, and bullies take full advantage!

3. Bullying the Disabled:

They don’t have the protections other oppressed groups Have.

In other words, they are the least represented. This makes them even more vulnerable. In fact, this puts them at the mercy of basically everyone!

Again, people with disabilities are the largest minority in the world. However, they get the least representation.

4. Many People don’t see them as human.

Therefore, they bully and abuse them at will and with impunity. Most people see those with disabilities as a drain on resources and on society.

They see them as contributing nothing to the world and long to be rid of them.

5. Others are least likely to believe them when they report Bullying and Abuse.

Therefore, their bullies and abusers get away with their abuse.

Bullying the Disabled:

The mentally disadvantaged have it even worse!

Other oppressed groups have more legal protections under the law than the mentally disadvantaged. Even those with physical disabilities have more protections.

Therefore, people who target these people, or stand by and watch it happen are no different than card-carrying racists.

There’s a term for this kind of bullying. It’s called Ableism!

Here’s something I’ll bet no one has thought of.

If a person bullies these people, they probably are a racist, homophobe, etc. They only hide it because it’s politically incorrect and against the law.

Moreover, society doesn’t consider it to be as evil or illegal to discriminate against those perceived to be mentally disadvantaged.

Those with mental illness or autism spectrum disorder are safer victims to bully. Therefore, they’re who bullies feel safer to target.

Most bullies are racists and sexists at heart because bullies don’t accept anyone who is not like them. It doesn’t matter what the difference is.

People With Autism Spectrum Disorder.

People with autism and other neurological disorders suffer extremely high rates of victimization and bullying.

It’s bad enough that they must go through life struggling with a disability they have no control over. Even worse, they also struggle with constant cruelty from people in the general population because of that disability.

“A new study finds that children with autism spectrum disorders are bullied for more often than their typically developing peers.” (healthland.time.com)

According to Time Magazine (the above link), 46% of children on the spectrum reported being bullied compared to only 10% of neurotypical kids.

And the statistics are estimated to be even higher. Why? Because many of those with ASD are nonverbal. Also, their inability to read social cues also contributes to the low reports.

They cannot recognize the subtler forms of abuse. Therefore, they can’t report anything they don’t know is occurring.

Bullies quickly zero in on the repetitive behaviors and being highly sensitive to external stimuli. So, there’s another reason. They’re easy victims.

And sadly, bullies think it’s fun to bully them.

It’s important that we teach these people productive ways to defend themselves. Moreover, we must reach out and protect them. Only then will the rates of bullying among these groups go down.

This post is all about bullying the disabled, why bullies target them the most, and what we can do to help these victims.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Who are Usually the Victims of Bullying? 11 Traits of Bully Targets

2. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

the psychology of bullying at school

The Psychology of Bullying: 7 Things that Motivate People to Bully

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‘Want to know the psychology of bullying and all the motivations behind it? Here are all the reasons of bullying you need to know about.

the psychology of bullying

To understand and combat bullying, you must first know the psychology of it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about the psychology of bullying and all the things that motivate people to bully. Moreover, you will learn the goals and intentions behind it.

Once you learn all about these important facts, you will be better equipped to defend yourself against it.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying so that you become a powerful weapon against any bully who tries to attack you.

The Psychology of Bullying

Straight up. Bullies reap many psychological rewards from bullying their victims. Moreover, it’s those rewards that motivate bullies to bully.

If you’ve fallen victim to bullying, you must know what the motivators for bullying are. Once you know these things, you’ll no longer continue to rack your brain, asking yourself, “Why me?”.

Moreover, any confusion and bewilderment will disappear and you’ll be compelled to stand up for yourself.

7 Things that motivate people to bully

What motivates bullies to bully you? Here are your answers.

1. The Desire for Power, Domination, and control.

Bullies crave power. However, the only way they can get it is by abusing their victims. In other words, the only way they can feel powerful is by dominating and controlling you.

To bullies, it’s an addiction. Power is like a drug to bullies. It gives them a rush but wears off quickly. Therefore, they’ll always come back for more.

You must realize that your bullies will never stop bullying you until you stand up to them.

2. The Psychology of Bullying:

To Cover up Truths that Make Them Uncomfortable.

Bullies may bully you because you may represent facts they don’t like. You may be an authentic person who sees through their bullshit.

Or, you may be the type who tells it like it is. This scares your bullies because there’s a chance you could call them out on their bullshit.

Therefore, they try to intimidate you into staying quiet.

Bullies aren’t concerned with facts. Especially when those facts threaten them.

For instance, let’s say that your bullies have spread all kinds of lies about you. Understand that your bullies already know the truth. Oh, yes!

They’re fully aware that you aren’t who they say you are. However, here’s the thing.

The truth doesn’t fit their narrative. Therefore, they’ll go out of their way to make the falsehoods look true. Realize that your bullies benefit from ruining of your reputation. And they’ll move Heaven and Earth to keep those benefits.

It takes a ton of work to cover up lies and half-truths. Why? Because bullies will tell the first lie and have to put out a second lie to cover up the first.

Then they’ll need to lie a third time to cover up the first two lies about you.

Lies have a way of building. They build so much that it soon becomes hard for the bullies to keep their stories straight. I mean, seriously! After so long and so many lies, who can keep up with all that?

Therefore, the best thing you can do is stay calm and play your hand correctly. Do this and your bullies will eventually spin themselves into their own web and get stuck in it.

Then you can sit back and watch them fall into the trap of their own making.

3. The Psychology of Bullying:

A Bully needs a victim.

Bullies need victims. Why? Because, to appear almighty and powerful, bullies must have someone to subjugate.

If bullies don’t have someone to dominate, they won’t know what to do with themselves. Therefore, don’t be that person.

See the bullying for what it is. It’s only your bullies’ attempts to seem powerful. Then, stand up to them. You must defend yourself, even if you must put up your fists and fight!

Once you begin standing up for yourself, the power dynamic will take a sudden shift.

In other words, you’ll automatically tip the scales of power in your favor. And you will cease to be a victim. Remember that the best way to dis-empower your bullies is to re-empower yourself.

Once you stop being a victim, your bullies will no longer have power over you. As a result, they’ll leave you alone and go search for another victim.

4. Sadism and Schadenfreude.

None of us want to admit that there are such people out in the world. However, there are people who get sick pleasure from another’s suffering.

They get even more pleasure if the sufferer is someone they despise. Therefore, the cold hard truth is that most bullies bully because they enjoy it.

They get their kicks from it. In fact, they relish it! Think about it, if they didn’t enjoy it, they would never bully.

And let’s face it. Nobody does anything of their own free will that they don’t enjoy. Ask yourself this question:

Unless someone held a gun to your head, would you do something- anything at all, that you did not enjoy? You wouldn’t because it goes against human nature.

Therefore, no one does anything unless there is a payoff of some kind in store for them. Most bullies bully because they love to inflict pain on another person.

Realize that to sadistic people, bullying others is like pulling the wings off a ladybug then watching it squirm. Moreover, these types of bullies will come back to bully you again to keep getting that pleasure.

These types of bullies don’t just get their pleasure from bullying you. They also get it from watching you react to the pain.

For instance, psychological bullies will taunt and verbally abuse their targets just to get a reaction from them. The reaction could be crying or anger.

And the more the target looks like they are suffering, the more the bullies harm them. Sadistic bullies are like sharks that smell blood in the water.

5. The Psychology of Bullying:

Fear.

Bullies fear losing power over you. Whether it’s physical attacks or smearing you, every bit of it is proof that they feel threatened.

Moreover, your bullies feel that they’re losing the battle for power or about to lose. Therefore, they double down on attacking you to reinforce their power over you.

They work twice as hard to keep you under their thumb. This often comes in the form of retaliation because you stood up to them.

In other words, you defended yourself. And the only way to discourage you from doing that again is to retaliate with greater force.

Why? Because, you just might start a huge trend and inspire others to stand up to them too. Then, the bullies would lose all respect, status, and authority (power).

6. Resentment and Revenge.

Again. When you defend yourself against a bully’s attacks or demands, you only make them look like punks. This goes double if you do it in front of an audience.

Therefore, this is another reason bullies will retaliate. They do it to punish you. Moreover, this punishment is designed to subdue you and keep you under their power.

To save their “tough” reputations, your bullies must take revenge. Revenge is, is punishment for you and justice for your bullies.

Anytime you stand up to bullies, they will often try to get back at you for it. Understand that bullies are entitled little twits.

They need gratification and satisfaction. And when you refuse to give it to them, they will resent you and desire to punish you for it.

However, don’t cave in. Realize that any time you stand against evil, it always gets worse before it gets better. Therefore, don’t give up. And don’t give in.

Be just as determined to defend yourself as your bullies are to subdue you. In other words, when they double down, so do you.

7. The Psychology of Bullying:

Deception.

Bullies have an image to keep up. And they want to look tough. In other words, the bullies are trying like the devil to cover up the fact that you’re winning the power war against them.

Think about it. If you were truly losing, they would act indifferent toward you. Your bullies wouldn’t need to become aggressive. It wouldn’t be necessary to go on the attack because you would be no threat to them nor the image they portray in public.

Therefore, they wouldn’t give you the time of day. Bullies, particularly those with narcissism, always discard those they deem to be losers.

On the other hand, threats must be contained. Those bullies see as threats are a lot of hard work. They require many attacks for the bullies to restore their power, be that power image, social status, or even physical status.

Therefore, if a bully is incessantly attacking you, it isn’t because there is anything wrong with you. And it isn’t because you’re weak.

It’s because you pose a threat to them somehow. Moreover, that threat may or may not be so obvious. It may be subtle.

For example, the bully may pick up on something that isn’t so visible. Maybe, it’s an inner strength you have that they can’t quite put their finger on.

Nevertheless, you must continue to defend yourself. The last thing you want to do is back down from these assholes.

Continue to stand strong. Refuse to tolerate their abusive behavior. Keep fighting no matter how hard things get.

This post is all about the psychology of bullying to relieve any confusion or bewilderment you may have.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Why do Bullies Bully? 7 Reasons They Won’t Leave You Alone

2. Why People Bully: 11 Benefits Bullies Reap at Your Expense

3. Bullying on Social Media: 5 Reasons Why People Do It

4. Why Bullies Target Quiet People: 11 Must-Know Reasons

healing from bullying as an adult

Healing from Bullying: 11 Amazing Recovery Tips

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Would you like to know the best things you can do when healing from bullying? Here are 11 ways to do it that I and so many other survivors swear by.

healing from bullying

Bullying is very traumatic and impacts self-esteem; it often takes many years to heal. People who’ve never endured bullying cannot comprehend how it can change your life.

The good thing about leaving a toxic environment is that once you’re gone, you can begin healing and rebuilding your life. However, in many cases, it’s easier said than done.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn the best ways to healing from bullying so that you can begin rebuilding your life and take back your power.

Once you learn all about these important techniques, you will be compelled to put them to work for you and began putting the pieces back together again. In that, you will eventually get back to the happier life you once knew.

This post is all about healing from bullying so that you can start anew and look forward to a beautiful future!

Healing from Bullying

Healing for bullying can be difficult and may time years. However with these eight tips, you’ll heal quicker and more successfully.

Here are eight things you can do that can help you heal quicker.

1. Seek Therapy.

I realize that there’s a certain amount of stigma that goes with it. However, getting therapy is the best and most important thing you can do for yourself.

You must do what you must do to take care of yourself. So, don’t concern yourself with the opinions of others.

People are going to have something to say whether you do or you don’t. Therefore, do what’s best for you and to hell with them.

2. Healing from Bullying:

Rest.

When you’re fresh out of a bullying environment, you’ll more than likely to be exhausted. Therefore, get plenty of sleep.

Also, take some quiet time for yourself. Go on a walk in the park on a beautiful day, or take a pajama day. Get all the rest you can get for a few days.

3. Music.

Music is therapy in itself. Once you’ve got plenty of rest, put in some easy listening for relaxation. Also, you can play some slow jams like TLC or Keith Sweat.

Or, you can pop in some dance grooves and rock and roll to make you dance. There’s nothing that lifts the mood like shaking your booty around the house to Janet Jackson or Paula Abdul.

 Moreover, you could rock out to some Van Halen, Judas Priest, or Def Leppard. Whatever your taste in music, you’ll feel much better when you do. So, get out those CD’s or stream some music on your computer.

4. Healing from Bullying:

Lean on the people who love you.

One of the most important things you need is a network of friends and loved ones who support you. Especially when you’re recovering from bullying!

Therefore, keep company with the people who uplift you, love you, and make you feel good. It’ll help you salvage the confidence you’ve lost.

5. Do things you enjoy most.

Indulge in your hobbies and favorite activities. Hobbies allow us to be creative. Therefore, if you create, you feel accomplished! So, rake in those little successes!

It’s those tiny little wins that will make you feel so much better!

6. Exercise.

Exercise is a major stress-buster. Moreover, you can get rid of all that negative energy like anger and depression by sweating it out in the gym or at home, to a workout video.

Whatever strikes your fancy, get moving and exercise! It will make you feel so much better!

7. Healing from Bullying:

Forgive.

Forgiving anyone who’s ever wronged you isn’t easy. However, it’s the most important thing you can do for yourself.

I’m probably going to piss a few people off with this.  In fact, there was once a time I would get angry any time someone advised me to forgive my bullies.

However, since then, I’ve discovered that forgiveness is how we heal.

I do understand if you aren’t ready. Sometime you must heal before you can forgive. Therefore, take time to process the abuse you suffered and recover first. Only you know when you’re ready.

Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what they did to you is okay. Moreover, it does it mean you have to be friends with the person who wronged you. You don’t have to let them back into your life if you don’t want to.

It’s totally up to you.

If you don’t trust the person, that’s okay too. Some people, you can never trust and you must forgive them from afar. However, do forgive them. It will help you more than you know.

8. Take a trip.

After being in a toxic environment for so long, you may need to get away for a while. Therefore, visit a family member in another state.

You can also embark on a camping trip in the mountains. Or, you can hit the beach and relax in the sun as you listen to the sounds of seagulls and crashing waves.

Whether you prefer a tropical island or an Alaskan getaway, you’ll return home feeling much better!

9. Healing from Bullying:

Treat yourself to a day or night out with the guys or gals.

You and your pals could go to a concert or out to lunch or dinner. Maybe you can go window shopping or to a bar and listen to a live band. In other words, don’t isolate yourself.

Get out and have fun. Because sometimes it pays to go out and paint the town red!

Just go easy on the drinks. Alcohol is a depressant! Moreover, if you must have a few drinks, don’t forget to have a designated driver handy.

Healing can take a while to do and may also take much work. But in the end, it’ll be worth it!

10. Treat yourself to a pampering session.

What is a pampering session. It can be anything, from a facial to a pedicure. Moreover, you can treat yourself to a manicure or a new hairdo.

Maybe you’re the type who likes a deep massage in a spa. Also, you can treat yourself to the works – all of the above! There are spas that will give you the royal treatment for a nice discount!

If you’re a little low on funds, you can also give yourself a pampering session at home. For example, you could buy some bath bombs and treat yourself to a relaxing soak in the bathtub.

Or, you can give yourself a pedicure. All you need is a small tub and some warm water to soak your feet in. Also, you can use a pumice stone, foot file, and cuticle stick to remove dead skin and rough spots from your feet and toes.

To top it off, you can paint your toenails. Whatever you like to do, practice self-care. It will make a big difference in how you feel!

11. Healing from Bullying:

Protect and defend yourself from those who wish to harm you.

This means protecting your mind and spirit from attacks as well as your body. If someone attacks you verbally, no matter how subtle the attacks may be, you have a right to respond in kind.

If some creep tries to use physical violence against you, by all means, fight back! The point is to set boundaries! And, if you need to, enforce those boundaries!

Say no. Moreover, call out anyone who tries to abuse you. Whatever you do, never take abuse lying down. Ever!

Remember that you teach people how to treat you by what you put up with. Therefore, if someone violates your boundaries in any way, call it out. Tell that person, in no uncertain terms, to stop it now!

Let them know that you won’t tolerate bad behavior from anyone. Do what you must do to defend yourself from bullying and abuse.

Remember that you have just as much of a right to safety, respect, and dignity as the next person. Therefore, defend yourself as you would your best friend!

In fact, be your own best friend! Let no one disrupt your peace. Moreover, don’t allow anyone to stand in the way of your healing!

In Conclusion:

Self-care is the most important thing you can do for yourself.  Moreover, self-care isn’t selfish, it’s essential, especially when you’re healing from bullying!

Be prepared for naysayers to tell you that you’re being selfish for taking care of yourself. However, don’t you believe it for a second!

Everyone has a right to take care of themselves. That includes you! Therefore, love yourself enough to put yourself first.

Because, baby! You’re worth it!

This post is all about healing from bullying and ways to do it so that you can recover without any disruptions and take your power back!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

2. Practicing Self-Care When People Bully You: 10 Ways to Give Yourself Compassion

3. Putting Yourself First: 7 Powerful Self-Care Practices

4. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

5. Benefits of Self-Love: 13 Reasons to Love Yourself No Matter What

confronting bullying at school

Confronting Bullying: 4 Things Bullies Do When You Speak Out

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‘Want to know about confronting bullying and the blow back you’ll likely get so that you can be encouraged to stay strong and keep speaking out and defending yourself? Here are all the ways bullies retaliate when you confront their bullying head-on.

confronting bullying

Confronting bullying isn’t easy by any means. Bullies can be intimidating and you may balk at standing up for yourself because you don’t know what the bullies might do. However, bullies are just as humanly vulnerable as you. They just won’t tell you.

This is why you must defend yourself no matter what your bullies may say or do to retaliate. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about what comes with confronting bullying so that you will be prepared.

Once you know all about this life-changing information, you will be compelled to keep your wits about you and confront bullying no matter how intimidating the bullies are.

Confronting Bullying

Confronting bullying can be one of the scariest things to do. However, if you want to ensure your safety later, it’s something you must do.

You know bullying when you feel it.

One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Bullies and others will often confuse and mislead you. They will tell you that no one is bullying you. Maybe they’ll accuse you of having paranoia.

When you defend yourself against a bully, others may gaslight you by either trivializing or dismissing what you just experienced. They may tell you, “it’s only in your mind” or accuse you of being too sensitive.

If you’re not careful, they may even convince you of it! This will only force you to endure the torment in silence. Bullying feeds on silence.

Bullying Cannot Thrive Without Silence

Therefore, people will let the bully off the hook. Even worse, they’ll be free to target you again in the future. The bully gets the message that it’s okay to target you.

So, they’ll bully you simply because they can. And they do it with impunity.

After so long, you’ll begin  to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. You’ll then question your own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.”

Moreover, you’ll grow silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “having paranoia,” “unhinged” or “overly sensitive.”

However, know that these labels mean to undermine and steal your voice.

Confronting Bullying:

It’s Not Only In Your Mind.

If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby or whatever else unsavory people may call you.

Therefore, always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!

You can sense it. Moreover, you can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.

You can see and hear them talking through their teeth. Also, you can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.

You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude. This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!

Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you.

It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough. If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out!

Why? Because they aren’t worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological. Also, never allow anyone to silence you. Speak out! Refuse their gaslighting.

Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. Also, setting boundaries is equally important. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.

It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.

Confronting Bullying:

Don’t be afraid of your bullies’ reactions to your speaking out.

When you begin speaking out about your bullies and their abusive behavior, you put them on high alert. In other words, you put them in defense mode.

This is when they’ll do one, some, or all of four things.

1. Lash out at you.

This is, perhaps, the most revealing. Many bullies and abusers will go into a tirade. In other words, they’ll scream and yell at you. They’ll curse you out and call you the ugliest names- everything but a child of God.

I know it’s difficult but don’t panic and don’t be afraid.

See it for what it is. You just forced them to reveal their true colors. Any time your bullies get outraged and attack you , that’s when you know you’ve busted them.

Again, you’ve forced them to out themselves! Yay for you!

2. Deny their abuse, and sometimes to your face.

Lots of times, bullies and abusers may confront you either calmly or aggressively. They’ll swear up and down they never bullied or mistreated you.

They may even throw out subtle hints that you must’ve misinterpreted them. They’ll claim that you “have everything misconstrued.”

Again, no matter how calmly or subtly they do it, this is gaslighting. Moreover, it speaks volumes about their character.

3. Confronting Bullying:

Defame you.

The second you call out their abuse, is the second bullies lose control over you. If these people can no longer control you, they will control your image in the eyes of others. Therefore, they’ll tell everyone who will listen what a lying, lowdown piece of garbage you are.

However, don’t let it phase you. Realize that they’re panicking and in a mad rush to do some damage control.

They’re afraid that word about their true nature just might get around and cause them to lose face. The last thing bullies want is for you to expose them.

Most of the time, your bullies will tell others that you’re experiencing some sort of mental episode. This is the classic reaction of abusers. They always attack your mental health.

Again, they’re only revealing their true colors. Why? Because if you weren’t telling the truth, they wouldn’t care. Therefore, they wouldn’t react so desperately.

See this as an admission of guilt.

4. Avoid you.

These types won’t bother you. Instead, they’ll avoid you like the plague because they’re scared.

However, this is the best outcome. If they’re avoiding you, you don’t have to worry about them bullying you again.

Why? Because they know they’ve been found out and that word of their abuse is already very quickly circulating.

So, the last thing they want is to do anything that will make them look guilty. They fear their reputations are already on shaky ground.

These people are cowards, yes. However, they’re making the smartest move by simply staying away from you. They’ll even avoid mentioning your name.

Be advised that not all people who avoid you will stay away from you for long. They may avoid you long enough to defame you to others.

Or, they just might secretly plot revenge against you for daring to open your mouth. Different bullies and abusers react in different ways. They may use one or all of the above measures to discredit you.

Confronting Bullying:

Bullies count on you staying quiet about their abuse.

You must realize that bullies and abusers, even former bullies, count on your silence. In fact, they detest, or more appropriately, fear being exposed.

Exposure is the worst thing that could happen to them. Why? Because they risk losing respect in the community. The last thing they want is for other people to see them for the monsters they are.

Bullies make everything about appearances. Therefore, when you will back the curtain, you make liars and hypocrites out of them.

So, naturally, they’re going to either attack you, avoid you, or both. They may make the following statements.

  • “Well, we were just kids then.”
  • “But that’s all water under the bridge.”
  • “Just let bygones be bygones.”
  • ”Just let sleeping dogs lie.”

They may tell you to “get over it.” Also, they may accuse you of bringing up old stuff. Understand that any time people make these statements, their main goal is to shut you up.

However, your bullies have other objectives as well:

  • Bullies say these things to minimize their past brutality and the impact it all had on you
  • Also, they want to make you look like a whiner who just can’t “let the past go.”
  • And, to cover their backsides and minimize any dents to their reputations or any backlash they might receive.

Therefore, don’t be afraid. Instead, see through it all and let them launch their personal attacks.

Before I close, I’d like to make another huge point. When you speak out about the abuse, you force your bullies to explain themselves.

Anyone who must explain and justify themselves is never in a powerful position.

So, in forcing your bullies to explain themselves you instantly snatch them out of their position of power. You move them into a position of vulnerability.

In other words, you automatically turn the tables and leave the bullies in a very helpless and subordinate place. In short, you strip them of power. Ouch!

Confronting Bullying:

Power doesn’t explain itself.

In forcing the bully to explain their past or present behavior, you instantly remove their power. And their perceived authority disappears with it.

Why? Because neither power nor authority explains itself. It doesn’t have to.

Hence the reason bullies despise even the thought of having to give explanations. It puts them in a weak and subordinate position.

No wonder bullies get nuts when you out them!

This post is all about confronting bullying and everything that comes with it so that you can gather the courage to take back your personal power.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Standing Up to Bullies: 7 Ways Bullies React When You Stop Taking Their Crap

2. Speaking Out Against Bullying: 5 Ways Bullies React When You Speak Up

3. Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

4. What Does Victim Blaming Look Like? 9 Easy Signs to Watch for

5. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

bullying and gaslighting at work

Bullying and Gaslighting: 7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

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‘Want to know about bullying and gaslighting and the different ways bullies may gaslight you? Here are all the important things you need to know.

bullying and gaslighting

Bullying is bad enough. However, when you top it off with gaslighting, it only victimizes you over and over again. You don’t have to put up with it.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and gaslighting and seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can use these gaslighting phrases and tactics to protect yourself.

Once you learn all about this life-changing information, you will be a warrior against any gaslighting some creep tries with you.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting. It gives you the seven most common ways bullies gaslight you so that you can successfully push back against it and save your self-esteem from being torn to shreds.

Bullying and Gaslighting

Before we get into the different ways bullies gaslight you, let’s first discuss exactly what bullies do when they gaslight you. So, what is the definition of gaslight?

Gaslight- to psychologically manipulate someone into doubting their own perception of reality.

Remember that bullying is all about domination and control. Once the bully selects you as their intended target, they will start out subtly. Then, they will slowly increase the severity of their abuse.

Moreover, they will do everything possible to maintain that power. And how they maintain power is to gaslight you, once you begin defending yourself.

Understand that bullies get a huge psychological payoff at your expense. Abusing you gives them that psychological reward.

And that reward is the rush of power and a sense of authority and control they get at your expense.

Psychological Rewards of Bullying.

We just mentioned some of the rewards – power, control, dominance, and a sense of authority. However, what are other psychological rewards bullies get from bullying you?

When bullies bully you, others also reward them with attention, high social status and promotions.

 Therefore, again, bullies will fight like the devil to keep those benefits. Moreover, if you speak out and shed light on their behavior, that’s when the gaslighting begins.

Bullying and Gaslighting:

How Gaslighting Starts

When you begin noticing that your bullies are abusing you, you’ll likely report it. Moreover, you’re also likely to begin standing up to them.

And once you start rocking the boat, your bullies will become angry and afraid. Why? Because you become a threat to their power.

Therefore, the bullies only increase the abuse to subdue you. But that’s not all. Your bullies also want to punish you.

Seasoned bullies maintain power by psychological and emotional abuse. This involves, gaslighting. However, it also includes brainwashing to dis-empower you.

Realize that they use these methods because this type of bullying leaves no visible evidence. Therefore, it’s much easier for them to deny it.

7 Ways Bullies Gaslight Victims

1. Persistent lying

Bullies tell vague lies, trying to make you believe that you that you are defective somehow. Also, they may try to convince you that you deserve the mistreatment.

I say, vague lies because, if you notice, they never tell you what your defect is. They also never tell you exactly what you did to deserve the abuse.

Moreover, bullies will spread lies about you to other people. They may tell them,

  • “He’s a waste of space, and he needs to realize it already!”
  • “She’s such an embarrassment! How does she even show her face in public every day?”
  • “She brought it all on herself!”

However, they’ll never, ever elaborate on any of those statements. And they won’t have to. Why? Because the people who hear these things will fill in the blanks.

They will most likely assume that you must have done something to deserve the abuse. Because, why would this person say such terrible things about you if you didn’t have it coming?

Bullying and Gaslighting:

What Your Bullies Will Say to You

  • “What are you smiling about? Nobody likes you! Remember?”
  • “I’m not bullying you! You’re just over-reacting!”
  • “You’re just being (overly sensitive, a crybaby, etc.)! You need help!”
  • “Nobody’s mistreating you! You’re just playing the victim to look innocent to everyone else!
  • “You think you’re (smart, pretty, cute, tough, cool, etc.), don’t’ you! You’re nothing!”
  • “You’re so (arrogant, ugly, etc.)!”
  • “Nobody will ever believe a word you say!”

I could go on and on.

Understand that bullies deliberately repeat these lies to convince you that they’re right. Moreover, they repeat these lies for weeks, months, even years.

However, the constant repetition has a purpose! And that is to brainwash you and turn you against yourself. If your bullies get get you to see yourself through their eyes, then they can get everyone else to as well.

In other words, if you start to believe the bully’s lies, others will too.

As a result, you become riddled with confusion. Also, you may develop social anxiety and shame. Eventually, you’ll lose the ability to counter the attacks

You must realize that this is all a strategy. And it’s designed to keep you under their control and from rebelling against the abuse.

2. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Wearing you down and forcing you to agree with them.

Bullies continue to bully you. In fact, they intensify the bullying.  But, understand that they do this for a reason.

And that reason is to wear you down until you’re is so tired of having to fight. Standing up for yourself takes a lot of energy. It puts you in survival mode.

Being in survival mode for a long time only tires you out. It depletes you of energy. This is how your bullies weaken you and take the fight out of you.

If you aren’t careful, you’ll grow so tired you’ll likely give up. And once you give up, your bullies have you right where they want you.

As a result, you’ll shut down, grow numb to the abuse and surrender to the bullies.

3. Becoming Highly Aggressive When you Call Out the Abuse

Bullies may try to maintain power by become extremely aggressive. Understand that this is designed to make you afraid. If they can subdue you with fear, then you’re least likely to keep standing your ground.

Moreover, your bullies can continue to subjugate you and keep you quiet. It also allows them to escape accountability and clear the way for future attacks.

4. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Blaming and Shaming You

Bullies blame you to take the guilt away from themselves. Moreover, when you speak out about their abuse, they will shame you for opening your mouth.

They may call you a crybaby, a wuss, a whiner, or a tattle tale. However, whatever they call you, bullies do it to shame you into silence.

5. Isolating You (Divide and Conquer)

Bullies will try to isolate you through social aggression. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you. Also they may threaten and intimidate your friends and associates for having anything to do with you.

Understand that bullies pull this tactic to get your friends to stop talking to you. If they can impose a high penalty on your friends for associating with you, the more likely they are to turn their backs on you.

If they can do this, then they can cut you off from any support or protection you may otherwise receive.

Then, once you’re isolated, the bullies then move in for the kill and take the abuse to new heights.

But wait! Here’s another thing bullies may do.

If you express a desire to leave the environment (change schools or workplaces), the bullies may try to discourage you from leaving. Moreover, they’ll do it by convincing you that you won’t be treated any better anywhere else.

They may even try to block your transfer to cut off any means of escape.

6. Bullying and Gaslighting:

Trying to convince you that you need their approval to get along.

Bullies make themselves out to be superior. They’ll try to make you believe that you somehow need their approval. If bullies can make you depend on their permission, their power and control only increase.

Bullies do this by convincing you that they are the only ones who can better your situation. In other words, they want you to believe that only with their say so will you be able to make friends and enjoy positive relationships!

In that, they make you believe that you can’t find happiness and fulfillment unless they approve.

And they will tie conditions to that approval. In other words, the bullies will make you think you must submit to their every whim to get any approval.

And they will try to make you do things you don’t want to do, no matter how demeaning. However, understand that bullies don’t honor deals! Ever!

Therefore, they will never leave you alone! And they will never give you their seal of approval. You must realize that all this is only another ploy to assert domination!

7. Making Empty Promises

Bullies will make all kinds of empty promises to get you to submit to their wishes. However, bullies never keep promises.

  • “If you do this, I’ll go away quietly and leave you alone.”
  • “Do that for me and I’ll be your friend.”
  • “If you’d only do XYZ, I’ll make things easier for you.”

Don’t you believe any of it!

You must understand that you can never appease a bully. You might for the time being. However, They will always come back for more later.

Bullies will never go away. They only make empty promises to keep you under their control. Understand that bullies have an insatiable appetite for power.

Bullies are like bottomless pits. No matter what you do to please them, they’ll only continue the torment. Therefore, you must realize that no amount of abuse is ever enough for a bully.

Remember that bullies are addicted to power. Bullying is the only way they can get that power. Therefore, abusing you is like a drug to them and they can never get enough!

Bullying and Gaslighting:

So, How Do You Stop Bullies from Bullying You?

1. Keep standing up to them. Don’t back down!

Once you begin defending yourself against bullies, expect it to get worse before it gets better. Realize that when you start standing up for yourself, you will get a ton of resistance at first.

However, you must stay consistent! Don’t give up! Don’t give in! Consistency is key here!

The more they try to take you down, the more you push back until your bullies decide that you’re too much to handle. Then, once they get the message that messing with you comes at too great a cost, they’ll leave you alone and go find another victim.

This post is all about bullying and gaslighting so that you’ll know what to expect and continue standing up to bullies until they finally leave you alone for good!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Signs Someone is Gaslighting You: The 13 Must-Know Symptoms

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Phrases to Shut Down a Gaslighter: 9 Powerful Statements to Use

4. Signs of Gaslighting: The 7 Signs You Must Know

5. Gaslighting Phrases: 7 Most Common Statements to Be Aware of

facts about respect for yourself and others

Facts About Respect: 9 Time-Tested Truths You Must Know

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Do you want to know the facts about respect and the purpose of it? Here are the nine truths of respect that you need to know.

facts about respect

Today, people, especially bullies, seem to think that they’re entitled to respect they never earn. Moreover, victims of bullying have a self-depreciating habit of giving respect to those who don’t return it.

As someone who’s been on both sides of the fence, I’m giving you truths about respect that I had to learn the hard way.

You will learn all the facts about respect and what they mean.

Once you learn all these truths, you will be more selective with who you give respect to and who to withhold it from. Also, you will know more about how to gain respect so that you can live in peace and harmony and get along better with others.

This post gives the facts about respect that every target of bullying must know about.

Facts About Respect

It’s true that we should remain humble. However, sadly, most people these days think that they’re entitled to respect simply because they exist. This especially describes those with even a little bit of power.

However, at the end of the day, no one is any better or more important than the next person. Having a degree of humility is a virtue. Why? Because we all have weaknesses, imperfections, and shortcomings.

Everyone, no matter how great, has limitations and must know what their limitations are.

Therefore, you must respect the people who respect you. On the other hand, you must also respect yourself enough to walk away from those who disrespect you.

You Must Respect yourself also.

Self-respect– it sounds good. It’s so pleasing to the ears.

However, it’s difficult to master and sometimes takes a lifetime to develop, especially if you’ve ever been a target of bullying and abuse.

When people bully, abuse, and gaslight you, it can often compel you to seek approval. Consequently, you might do some pretty drastic things to get that approval.

Sadly, many people never master self-respect because they’re under the presumption that life’s all about having a truckload of friends. Moreover, they may be obsessed with having huge wads of cash or getting all the girls.

Bullies are all about having power. Moreover, they believe that life’s all about being popular, or pretty. They aren’t satisfied unless they can be the king of the mountain, or the baddest mother on the block.

These are the bullies- the people who are constantly trying to prove themselves to others. That’s not self-respect.

Facts about respect and about Self-Respect

When you have self-respect, none of the superficial stuff interests you. Therefore, you don’t feel the need to perform cartwheels and showboat.

You feel good about yourself and there’s no need to prove your worth to the rest of the world. Why? Because you could care less what anyone else thinks.

Self-respect means treating yourself like you want others to treat you. Moreover, how well you treat yourself is determined by how you allow others to behave toward you.

You choose what you will and will not accept. Therefore, it means not settling for anything less than what you know you want and deserve.

Self-respect means taking care of yourself, mind, body, and spirit.

It means knowing who you are, what you want, what heights you’re capable of. Moreover, it means believing in yourself and never doubting what you can achieve.

In other words, it means refusing to allow bullies and abusers to convince you that you should hate yourself. Also, it means refusing the desperation to please, appease, and impress others and knowing that the only Person you should seek approval from is God Himself.

Self-respect means knowing your worth. In other words, you know the value you bring to the lives of others. Moreover, that belief stands regardless of what a few toxic people may think or say.

You continue to stay true to your values, beliefs, and convictions, whether or not they’re popular.

It means accepting and embracing everything that is you. This includes your age, sex, race, nationality, creed, body composition, weight, height, looks, quirks, and idiosyncrasies.

Facts About Respect:

What happens when you give respect to those who haven’t earned it from you?

Never respect anyone who doesn’t respect you back. Why? Because when you do, it’s not self-respect. What it is, is self-abuse.

Anytime you give unearned respect, it only reeks of desperation. In other words, when you give respect to people who don’t respect you,  you allow yourself to be a slave, a prisoner, a whipping boy.

To put it bluntly, you make yourself somebody’s bitch. You put your value, and sometimes, your life, in someone else’s hands.

Never take the respect others give you for granted.

Whereas, never take the respect you get from others for granted. Again, respect isn’t something you’re entitled to. It’s not automatic, and to think you’re owed such a commodity without earning it is arrogance. It means you’re a pompous, self-serving turd who’s full of yourself.

Bullies are people who demand respect but have none for anyone else. Therefore, here is what they fail to realize:

People may act like they respect them to their faces. However, once the bullies are away and out of earshot, people will gather and talk mad trash about them behind their backs. T

Others will know the truth. That the bullies are only self-satisfied pieces of crap who think they’re entitled. And people will call them exactly what they are and laugh at them in secret.

Here are the 9 facts about bullying you must know.

1.Respect is earned, not freely given.

Respect is not an entitlement! No! it is something you must give to get. Understand that everyone has a space to fill, even you.

Moreover, it is either mutual or none at all and there’s no in-between. Respect is a two-way street. Always!

2. Like love, respect is something money can’t buy.

It doesn’t matter how much money, power, and prestige you have. If you’re a piece of scum, you’re a piece of scum.

Besides, your money is something you can never take with you when you go. Neither can you take your power nor your prestige.

We all come into this world naked and so shall we leave it.

3. Facts about respect:

You cannot demand it nor get it through bullying and instilling fear in others.

Only gangs and mobsters demand respect- all while giving none in return. These people steal, kill, and destroy the lives of others, then have the chutzpah to demand respect from the very people they harm.

However, as mentioned earlier, people don’t respect them. They only act like they do. And believe me, they will talk smack once the bullies turn their backs.

4. Respect is something you must sometimes stand up and fight for.

There are toxic people everywhere- users, abusers, bullies. In other words, people who think they’re superior and that you’re their personal property.

Those who are evil will try to manipulate you. Moreover, they’ll disrespect you, harass you, and violate your boundaries.

They will especially do this if you’re young and aren’t experienced enough to know how the world operates. Therefore, it’s imperative that you set firm boundaries and walk away from such people.

5. Facts about respect:

Respect isn’t something you should ever have to ask nor (gasp!) beg for.

If you’ve earned it and already give respect, it should come back to you naturally. However, if you must ask or beg for it, you’re with the wrong people.

Therefore, ditch these creeps without looking back. Love yourself enough to walk away and find better quality people to keep company with.

6. Respect is a two-way street.

Like anything else, it’s a give and take. Again, no one is entitled to it, they must earn it. In order to get respect, you must give it, and that includes giving it to yourself too.

7. Facts about respect:

Respect and like are different.

When you like someone, it means you share common ground with them and like having them around. On the other hand, when you respect someone, you have regard for their human rights or you have a certain reverence toward them because of their knowledge, wisdom or position.

You can have respect for someone you may not necessarily like. For example, if you’re a recruit, you may not like your hard-nosed drill sergeant, but you know to respect them. Moreover, your mother may do things that make you not like her at times, but you respect her.

Therefore, this is the difference between like and respect.

8. Respect has a purpose.

Respect is there to ensure that humans can live together in safety, peace, and harmony. It isn’t self-serving. It’s meant for the good of all living creatures.

On the other hand, if there’s no respect, there’s no regard for the safety of others. Therefore, without it, there can only be anarchy and lawlessness.

Why? because people who don’t respect you will violate your boundaries and jeopardize your safety every chance they get.

When people disrespect you, they do it out of self-interest:

1.To feel superior

2. To look cool

3. To look tough

4. To look bigger and better

5. To boast their egos

6. To assuage feelings of insecurity and inferiority

7. To look and feel powerful

8. To feel better about themselves

9. Facts about respect:

Respect is easily lost but harder to gain.

It take a while to earn respect and you must either work or contribute something to get it. Respect can take years to build.

However, it takes a split second to lose it. One wrong statement or one wrong decision can instantly destroy any respect you once had.

Moreover, bullies can unjustly take it from you. They can smear and defame you with lies and ugly rumors. They can destroy your reputation, causing others to lose the respect they once had. Unfortunately, this happens a lot these days.

Therefore, you must do everything you can to protect the respect you get and never take it for granted. Moreover, if bullies steal it from you, you must continue to do and say things which are respectful to others no matter what.

In time, people may see your actions and realize that you’re not so bad. Even better, they may see your bullies for the liars they are and things may turn around for you. This also happens as well.

this post gave you the facts about respect to teach you what it is, how you earn it, and how to keep it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Like vs Respect: What’s the Difference?

2. Benefits of Self-Respect: 18 Good Results of Treating Yourself Well

3. How to Have Self-Respect: 7 Powerful Ways to Treat Yourself Well

4. How to Stop Being Too Nice: 5 Powerful Changes that Win Respect

bullying and psychological conditioning in schools

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

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‘Want to know all about bullying and psychological conditioning? Also, would you like to know how they relate? Here is everything you need to know about.

bullying and psychological conditioning

Bullying is just another form of abuse. As with any kind of abuse, it has the power to condition if you let it. In other words, bullying is a form of brainwashing.

Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you’ll recognize it when it happens to you.

Once you learn all about this important information, you will not only be able to know the symptoms of the conditioning that comes with bullying, you will be able to more effectively defend against it.

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning so that you can better recognize it and protect yourself against it.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning

If you endure bullying long enough, it can slowly reprogram your mind and turn you against yourself, if you aren’t careful. It will blind you to your value as a human being. It will hijack your brain and cause you to see yourself through the lens of your bullies.

Then, you will loath yourself just as your bullies do. This is what you don’t want!

So, how do bullying and psychological conditioning relate and what does it do?

Bullying Conditions You to accept Bigger and More Severe Abuses.

Bullying conditions you gradually and incrementally – bit by tiny bit. In the beginning it’s so subtle that you don’t even know you’re being brainwashed.

Bullies start off taking teeny-weeny bites out of the your self-esteem. Moreover, during the first few weeks or months, they increase the abuse ever so slowly.

Bullies do this step by itsy-bitsy step. Again, this happens so slowly and such tiny increments that you don’t know what’s happening.

Yet, something deep in the pit of your gut tells you that something is off. All you know is that something doesn’t feel too good. However, you can’t quite put your finger on it. It’s that subtle!

This is your gut instinct trying to warn you. Therefore, this is your first clue.

1. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Your body will Tell You if you pay attention to it.

Here how this happens.

When you meet your bullies for the first time, you pick up some really creepy vibes from them. Moreover, you feel it in the pit of your stomach.

You’ll sense something about these creeps that feels “off.” And sometimes, you’ll feel it before the first words are exchanged.

You’ll sense them watching your every move, scoping you out, studying you like a specimen. You may look up from whatever you’re doing and see, out of the corner of your eye, a few of these people eyeing you from a distance.

Then you,ll see them look at each other and smirk. You’ll also notice that eerie twinkle in their eyes. You might even see a micro-flash or two of contempt.

Don’t ignore this!

The Process of Escalation

Understand that these bullies are sizing you up. In other words, they’re probing to see how you respond or react to their subtle slights and digs.

If you react the way they predict or you don’t react at all, bullies will see this as a green light.

Next, they’ll begin committing slightly bigger violations. Understand that bullies do this deliberately to soften you up for bigger attacks. They make the abuse virtually unrecognizable… until it isn’t anymore.

By the time it’s recognizable, the abuse is so severe and out of control that the bullies and their minions can no longer help themselves. In fact, they’ve already gotten brazen with their attacks.

In other words, they don’t even try to hide it anymore. Along the way, they’ve stopped putting in the work to hide it.

Why? Because, by now, they’ve gotten away with it for so long that there’s no incentive to stop?

Therefore, by the time the abuse becomes obvious, it’s usually too late. Why? Because everyone has grown accustomed to bullying the target. In fact, they’ve gotten comfortable with it.

And once they’ve grown accustomed to bullying and abusing you, it’s almost impossible to get them to leave you alone, no matter what you do to defend yourself.

2. Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

What happens if you wait to long to stand up to bullies?

When the target finally gets fed up and begins asserting themselves, bullies will only double down on the attacks. They communicate through their actions that they don’t give a damn about your rights as a human being.

 Your pain will mean nothing to them. They’ll only see you as a victim and they’ll damn well make sure you stay a victim.

And why not? For so long, your bullies have gotten a payoff from abusing you. And hell will freeze over before they give up those benefits.

Therefore, when you finally begin defending yourself at this stage in the game, here’s what happens. Bullies and everyone else only responds with outrage. The unwritten message is, “How dare you!”

Bullies get super offended when anyone they deem inferior finally grows a spine. So, they’ll do everything they can to break your will and keep getting their sick, sadistic jollies.

Because, how dare you try to take away their fun? It doesn’t matter if they’ve been getting it at your expense.

Again, bullying and conditioning starts out small and subtle. Therefore, you must learn how to recognize it when it first begins.

Why? Because, the longer it goes on and the bigger the abuses get, the harder it is to defend yourself against it and put a stop to it.

I can’t stress this enough.

The one thing that will help you recognize it is that your body will feel it. You’ll sense it in the vibes they put out. So, pay attention.

3. The Environment That Conditions You Most

What is the environment that conditions and shapes you the most when you’re in school or working? I’ll give you a hint: It isn’t the home!

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

Our environments determine our mental health.

The environments you spend the most time in has ways of molding and shaping you. This goes  especially during your formative years.

For example, a child who grows up in an abusive environment will likely grow up to be an abusive adult. Moreover, they may grow up to be a weak and powerless victim to human predators.

Remember that a person’s formative years (childhood) is the most impressionable and it determines their future!

Yes. There are exceptions. A few kids do develop a strong sense of self, either through dogged determination or an outside mentor. These are the kids who make it out and create successful lives for themselves.

However, most aren’t that lucky, and it’s sad.

You have three types of environments:

  1. Nourishing Environment (Very Healthy)
  2. Neutral Environment (Somewhat Healthy)
  3. Toxic Environment (Unhealthy)

Understand that the environment you spend most of your day in, will the one that likely conditions you. And if you spend most of your day-to-day life in a bullying environment, your mental health will suffer if you aren’t careful!

For example, a certain school kid lives in a loving and healthy home. However, his classmates at school bully him mercilessly.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

4. Bullied Kids Spend most of their waking hours in school. let’s do the math.

A child or teen who is growing must have around 10 hours of sleep per day. Therefore, subtract 10 hours from 24 hours and you’re left with 14 waking hours.

The average young student then spends about 8 hours per day in school. Subtract 8 hours from 14 waking hours and you have only six waking hours away from school.

Next, we must factor in commuting time on the school bus. For the average schoolkid, this equals 30 minutes to 1 hour, one way.

Therefore, that’s 1-2 hours round trip. Keep in mind that most kids who are bullied at school are also bullied on the school bus.

Subtract that from 6 waking hours and the schoolkid has only 4-5 waking hours in her loving and nourishing environment at home.

24 Hours (One Day)

-10 hours (Sleep)

-8 hours (School)

-1 or 2 hours (School bus)

= only 4 to 5 hours awake at home

Therefore, that bullied child, although living in a loving and nourishing home environment, spends twice as many waking hours in a toxic school environment.

Consequently, the bullying they suffer at school will likely negate the love and acceptance he gets at home. Sadly, bullies may succeed in causing them to have low self-esteem.

Even sadder, the kids who suffer bullying at school and abuse at home will take an even bigger hit to the self-esteem. Why? Because these kids can’t get away from it. They have no reprieve from bullying.

Bullying and Psychological Conditioning:

In Conclusion

How a student is treated at school has a huge impact on their mental health. It doesn’t matter how loving and nurturing their home life is.

Granted, having a positive home life does help. However, the bullying a child suffers at school will likely nullify any love and acceptance they receive at home.

Moreover, adults send most of their waking hours at work. Therefore, workplace bullies can condition them as well.

So, how do we Prevent or Lessen the Conditioning from Bullying?

With children and teens, you simply create opportunities for them to make friends outside of school. This will create more positive social experiences for them.

As a result, you’ll help to create an even balance between the bullying and negativity they suffer and the friendships and positivity they enjoy. Even better, it might even tip the scales, creating more positive interactions than negative!

This will buffer the child’s self-esteem from the bullying they get at school.

You can help them create positive connections by sending them to summer camp. Also, you can do it by enrolling them in a martial arts class.

Attending neighborhood or family outings where other kids are present also helps. Also, attending church and church functions is another great idea.

This also goes for bullied adults as well. Another thing adults can do is take a course or two. This is a wonderful opportunity to establish positive connections.

There are many, many opportunities available! So, go for it! Give yourself or your bullied child these wonderful experiences! You’ll create awesome memories that will last a lifetime!

This post is all about bullying and psychological conditioning, how to recognize it, and how to mitigate it so that you can save your self-esteem.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Conditioning: 5 Signs You’re Being Conditioned

2. Psychological Effects of Gaslighting: 11 Ways it Impacts Victims

3. Negative Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: 9 Ways it Plagues Victims of Bullying

4. Bullying and Self Confidence: 7 Steps to Keeping Your Confidence Up When People Bully You

5. Your First Line of Defense Against Bullying

self-preservation instinct in animals

Self-Preservation Instinct: Defending Yourself from Bullies is Okay!

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‘Want to know all about the self-preservation instinct and why defending yourself against bullying is perfectly okay? Here are all the facts you need to know about.

self-preservation instinct

Everyone has a right to self-preservation.

In this post, you will learn about the self-preservation instinct and why it’s okay to defend yourself against bullying and abuse.

Once you learn all about these truths, you will feel better about doing what you must do to protect yourself against bullying and about self-care.

This post is all about the self-preservation instinct so that you won’t feel guilty when you must defend yourself against bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct

First, what is this instinct? It’s the natural, innate drive to defend yourself from harm and to ensure your own survival. It’s as old as humanity.

Examples of self-preservation include running from danger, fighting back against an attacker, setting boundaries, self-care, avoiding toxic people, and taking rest breaks.

Therefore, when people bully you, self-preservation is of the utmost importance. Sadly, most targets of bullying have been conditioned not to defend themselves when confronted with threats to their safety.

Therefore, you most retrain yourself to respond accordingly when people even attempt to violate your boundaries and your peace.

You must Meet your bullies where they are.

“What does this mean?” You may ask. It means that you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand.

Put simpler, when a bully is in your face, they will go no holds barred. Therefore, you can’t afford to be nice about it. There is no being polite.

There is no way to handle a bully “nicely.” Why? Because they will only see that as weakness and use it to their advantage.

Also, there is no being quiet because a bully will take your silence as being afraid.

In other words, never try to handle a bully politely. Again, you must speak to the bully in the only language they understand. And what they don’t understand is nice and polite.

For example, the bully is in your personal space and they’re cursing you out. That’s when you put your hand out like a traffic cop. Then, you tell them in no uncertain terms to get the hell out of your face.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

nice and polite doesn’t work

Understand that you may have done everything to try and defuse the situation peacefully.  However, in most cases, the bully just keeps coming back.

That’s when it’s time to get down and dirty. Remember that you’re in a battle. Therefore, when you’re in a battle, there’s no time to hold back and try to be the bigger person.

Why? Because when it reaches this level, that’s when things can get dangerous fast.

You must be willing to go off on the bully and think nothing of it. In other words, you have to call them out and you can’t do it being nice. Sometimes you must get nasty.

There are times you must get just as dirty as they do and to hell with what anyone else thinks. You’re in a situation where you could get hurt and you must protect yourself by any means necessary but legal. And self-defense is legal.

Remember that the only rights you have are those you fight for.

This is not the time to be concerned with what people think

It’s easy for bystanders to judge you and give unwanted advice when they’re have no skin in the game and are sitting safely in the cheap seats.

For example, you’re a victim of school bullying and you finally get fed up and begin fighting back against your bullies. You may have classmates tell you, “’Ya know? You shouldn’t have cursed so-and-so out because you only stoop to their (the bullies’) level.

” Really? It’s funny how they never said a word to the bully, who had you backed in a corner and was unloading on you. Now, all of a sudden, you’re the bad guy for using bad words and defending yourself?

Don’t fall for that crap! Know that you have every right to defend yourself against anyone who violates your boundaries. Remember, your bully came for you first. Therefore, you should tell the self-righteous asshole who feeds you this garbage to go kick rocks!

Self-Preservation instinct:

When you stand up to a bully, there will be bystanders who insert their cheap two cents.

Realize that when you’re forced to get nasty, there will be people who tell you that you should have handled it better. They will accuse you of being just as lowdown as the bully.

Moreover, these will be people who aren’t being bullied. Therefore, they’ll have no dog in the fight.

However, instead of worrying about their reaction, always come back with a response. Tell them this:

“Funny, you never said a word during all the times they were doing the same to me, so you have nothing to say about my behavior. Now, get lost!” And say it with conviction and without guilt.

“It’s not ladylike,” they say? Well, it’s not ladylike for the bully either. It goes both ways.

You must speak in the only language bullies understand.

Bullies don’t comprehend the meaning of class. They don’t understand morals and scruples. Moreover, they have no concept of decency and respectability. The only language bullies understand is a language that is cheap, tacky, and unsavory.

Bullies (and anyone who is even remotely impressed by them) are a dime a dozen. They really are. Therefore, there are times when you must speak in the only language they understand. Then they just might get the message and back the hell off!

If this makes you uncomfortable, I understand. It sucks when you must get down and wallow in the bullies’ foulness and filth with them. But for the sake of self-preservation, sometimes you’ve no choice but to lower your own moral standards.

The good news is that you don’t have to stay in the mud. You can reserve the nastiness for emergencies, like bullying.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Never Be Afraid of Conflict

Conflict is a part of life. It’s something we all encounter. Many targets and survivors of bullying are deathly afraid of conflict.

Why? Because they’ve had so much of it forced on them by bullies who refuse to leave them alone. Understand that these poor souls haven’t yet dealt with the hurts they still have.

 Therefore, they don’t yet know their worth and the good they deserve. Many targets and survivors of bullying suffer from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

It is because of this that they’re still stuck in survival mode.

As a result, target’s cave in. They give in to bullies to appease them just so they’ll shut the hell up and go away. Moreover, people get tired of hearing self-entitled bullies bitch, rant, and beat their chests when they don’t get their way.

So, the unspoken message is, “Look! Just take what you want and get lost!”

Therefore, if you fall into this category, I understand why you end up being this way. You get exhausted when you constantly have to battle.

Struggling to take back your autonomy and self-determination wears you out after a while. You get worn down and weary. And all you want is for people to leave you alone and let you have some peace.

And you’ll do anything to have that peace, even if it means surrendering to your bullies’ demands.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Avoiding Conflict Can Have Social Consequences.

If you go out of your way to avoid conflict, people will soon mistake you for being weak and walk all over you. Therefore, you must set boundaries.

There are times when you must say no. There are even times when you may have to show your ugly side to get your point across. You must do whatever it takes to let people know that no means no and enough is enough.

Understand that this requires courage. It means you must step out of your comfort zone and take risks. You must risk hurting others’ feelings and making people angry.

Moreover, you must risk being lashed out at and retaliated against. Moreover, you must also risk losing relationships. And no, one of it feels good.

In short, you must stand up for yourself and that means facing conflict.

Think of it this way, if you’re a target of bullying, you’re going to face conflict no matter what. Why? because people will bring the conflict to you. Hiding from it does no good because it will eventually find you.

When people target you for bullying, conflict is unavoidable and certain.

Run from conflict and you’ll end up running from it for the rest of your life!

Therefore, why not face it head on? It’s better to embrace it and stand up to people rather than to keep avoiding it. Then, you can feel better about yourself later knowing that you finally grew a spine and told them where to shove it.

You may face retaliation for it. However, you’d face it anyway. Why? Because, right or wrong, bullies will always find some justification for attacking you.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

Sometimes, Fighting Is The Only Alternative You Have

Many times throughout your life, you will hear self-righteous people preach against fighting in self-defense. When you defend yourself against physical bullies, those in power and others may tell you, “Violence doesn’t solve anything.”

If you’re a female who had to defend herself from a physical attacker, a few others may tell you, “fighting isn’t lady-like.”

Well, neither is getting your face beat in by a physical bully.

Trust me. You’d much rather fight back than to just stand there and take an ass-beating. When bullies target you for bullying and you decide to stand up for yourself, there will be people who will judge you for it.

Again, they’ll climb up on their soapbox and insert their two cents where it doesn’t belong. They’ll make comments to you that “violence doesn’t solve anything.” They may tell you that “two wrongs don’t make a right.”

You’ve heard the term, “All up in your Kool-Aid, and don’t know the flavor.” Yep! That’s where they’ll will be when you get enough of bullying and decide to take care of business.

However, what else do you do if you’re a kid at school getting their brains beat out every other day? Just stand there and allow them to hurt you over and over again?

Moreover, what do you do if you’re a female in a dark parking lot and some creep jumps out and grabs you? You do what you must to protect yourself. And if that means beating the thunder out of someone, then so be it!

Self-Defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a Right!

Targets of bullying get suspended or expelled from school when they finally defend themselves against a bully. It happens all the time. After months or years of being mercilessly bullied you grow tired of all the BS.

You’ve tried handling it through nonviolent means. However, bullies only took you for being a wuss and increased the physical attacks. Moreover, they did this until you finally got fed up and beat the living crap out of them.

Now, everyone’s surprised and outraged! Not at the bully who attacked you, but at you! But where was their outrage when you were getting pummeled without provocation?

Where was their outrage when the shoe was on the other foot? Where was their humanity when you cried out for help?

These are the exact questions you should ask anyone who gets offended by your defending yourself. Know that you’re just as good as the next person.

Moreover, realize that you have the same rights as anyone else- including your bullies. And know that you have the right to defend yourself anytime some creep threatens you with physical harm.

Self-Preservation Instinct:

It’s about taking care of yourself.

Understand that this is a part of self-care. It’s true that fighting isn’t always the answer. However sometimes, bullies will leave you no other choice.

So, if you’ve tried everything else, know that you must do what you must to keep yourself safe. And if it means putting up your dukes and getting froggy, so be it.

It’s sad when a target must fight all the time to keep themselves from being harmed. However, I don’t hold it against anyone who fights back under those circumstances.

Why? Because you have to take care of yourself or no one else will.

Tell these nosy bystanders how you feel and what you think of them. Because you can’t be nice when you’re dealing with people who wish to harm you.

Realize that there are times when you have to get funky with it! You must put your bitch-face on when things get hot. Therefore, when some schmuck is in your face, nice and polite goes out the window.

And once they find out that you aren’t as weak as they thought, they just might back off and think twice before confronting you again.

Therefore, meet the you bullies where they are. Respond in kind to bad treatment. And assert your right not to put up with bullying and abuse.

This post was all about the self-preservation instinct to assure you that self-defense isn’t only necessary, it’s a law of nature and it’s your right!

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

 2. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies

3. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. Physical Bullying: Should You Hit Back?

Speaking Up About Bullying: Be Prepared for These 8 Responses

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‘Want to know about all the ways bullies respond when you begin speaking out about bullying? Here are all the truths you need to know about.

speaking up about bullying

Many targets of bullying have had their voices stolen from them. They’re intimidated into keeping silent while others abuse and take advantage of them.

However, you can’t bite your tongue forever. Therefore, in this post you will learn what to expect once you begin speaking up about bullying.

Once you learn all these possible responses your bullies will make, you will be better prepared to confidently address it.

This post is all about speaking up about bullying so that you’ll be prepared for your bullies’ reactions and to deal with it bravely and confidently.

Speaking up about bullying

Make your voice heard when the bullying first begins.

Why? Because it will eventually come spewing out. After a while, you will snap and the stress will be as lava pouring out of an erupting volcano.

For instance, you’re calm, and people see your calmness as a weakness. Bullies began to notice how laid back you are. Therefore, they presume that if they keep violating your boundaries, there will be no consequences.

The bullying always starts subtly at first- so subtly that you don’t even notice you’re being abused.

Over several months, the bullying slowly escalates until you finally snap and show your ugly side. However, when you respond to the bullies and their audience in kind, people only use your perfectly justified human reaction to demonize you. Therefore, they make it look as if you’re mentally unstable.

But, why do they do this?

It’s because you didn’t address the bullying when it first began. In other words, you didn’t stand up for yourself in the early stages.

As a result, your bullies and everyone else have grown comfortable with abusing you. Moreover, once people become comfortable with any routine, it’s almost impossible to stop them no matter how you defend yourself.

By then, the bullying has become iron clad and taken a life of it’s own. Therefore, it’s too late to do anything.

Again, this is why you must speak out when the bullying first begins. I can’t stress this enough.

Bullies will push you and push you. They will keep digging at you until you snap on them. Then once you bite back, everyone is suddenly offended, and deems you the bad guy!

Therefore, I want you to understand that this is all a part of the bully’s playbook. The more you know, the better you can predict their behavior, and the more you’ll be able to beat these monsters at their own game.

Speaking up about bullying:

Why victims stay silent

It’s because they can’t name what’s happening to them. Sure, they can feel it and see it. However, they can’t put an actual name on it because they don’t know the names of the tactics and how to describe what’s happening.

Being able to put a name on the abusive tactics takes a lot of research and study on abuse. Why? Because bullying is abuse and abuse is bullying.

Both bullying and abuse involve a power imbalance and repeated behavior. Therefore, they’re one and the same.

Why you Should learn to name each bullying tactic

The reason why we should know the names of the tactics is this. When there’s no label to put on it, it’s much harder to explain to others. Moreover, when you can’t name something, you tend to ramble.

And because you ramble about it, people are less likely to believe you when you speak out.

There’s nothing more frustrating than to know something is happening and not know how to name it. It’s as if you have an invisible gag over your mouth. Moreover, it feels like some higher force is trying to silence you and protect your bullies and abusers.

It’s the most frustrating and downright infuriating thing in the world!

Speaking up about bullying:

The Term, “Gaslighting.”

For example, let’s use the term “gaslighting.”

Even today, many people have never heard of gaslighting. Therefore, they don’t know the proper name of the emotional manipulations they may be facing.

In other words, they don’t know that it’s called, gaslighting. All they know is that what others are doing to them feels horrible. Moreover, it leaves them feeling that, somehow, they’re always in the wrong.

Therefore, they don’t know how to fix it because they don’t know what’s broken.

Yet, in the innermost parts of their soul, they know differently. Inside, they know they’re not always wrong. However, because they can’t put a name to it, these people can’t describe what was happening to them.

Therefore, it’s much harder for them to speak out without rambling and looking like they have a mental disorder.

Learning all you can about bullying is crucial.

With that said, it’s important that you read, study, and research everything you can about bullying. Moreover, find out and study the key terms for each bullying tactic.

In fact, learn all you can the names as well as the descriptions of each tactic. Why? Because, once you do, you will be able to effectively speak out about the bullying and abuse you suffer. Also, you will be able to more effectively counter the abuse.

 Realize that if you’re a target of bullying, your bullies will expect you not to open your mouth about the abuse. Moreover, even bystanders and authority will want you to stay silent. Why? Because, in most cases, they will automatically side with the bullies.

However, it still doesn’t mean you must be quiet about it. Remember that bullying thrives on silence and standing up for yourself is paramount.

Understand that speaking up shows strength and bravery. And know that you’re well within your rights to do so.

However, when you break your silence, you must be prepared for the following responses bullies and others will give.

Speaking Up about Bullying:

8 Responses to Expect from Your Bullies and Possibly, Everyone Else.

1. “You’re being too sensitive.”

See this response for what it is – a classic gaslighting statement.

Understand that when people respond this way, they’re only shifting the blame to you. Moreover, they’re trying to shame you into keeping quiet about it.

Those who respond this way may be friends or followers of the bullies. Or, maybe they have a personal interest in keeping you quiet, such as the reputation of the school or company.

It could be that these people see your bullies as “good for the school’s or company’s reputation.” Also, the bullies may be family members or close friends of these gaslighters.

However, don’t be ashamed to speak out. You must keep the pressure on even if the bullying gets worse. This is how you set boundaries.

Understand that things usually get worse before they get better but they will get better.

2. “Just Ignore Them.”

This is another classic but worn out response. However, ignoring them never works.

Realize that bullies will only become angry at being ignored and escalate the bullying. Also, they may mistake your ignoring them for fear.

And if a bully gets in your face, how do you ignore that? It’s impossible. You might think that the best way to handle it is to put your hand up and walk around the bully.

 This isn’t necessarily a bad response. However, how do you know the bully won’t come after you and attack you from behind once you’ve walked past them?

When people tell you to ignore the bully, you must understand what they’re really trying to say. And what they really mean is one or more of three things:

They either don’t want to hear about it, don’t want to deal with it, or don’t have any answers themselves.

Therefore, keep speaking out. It’s how you set boundaries and setting boundaries is crucial in bullying situations.

3. Speaking Up about Bullying:

“Toughen up.”

Again. The people who could help you don’t want to get involved. So they put it all on you. And really, they’re not wrong. Protecting yourself against bullying IS your responsibility because chances are, no one will help you.

However, by telling you to toughen up, they’re shifting the blame onto you. Also, they don’t stop to think that, when they tell anyone to toughen up, they’d better be prepared to break up a fight.

Why? Because that’s your green light to tell the bully to shove it up his you-know-where or haul off and knock the idiot’s block off.

Then when they try to reprimand you for defending yourself, you can then use it as leverage. You can say, “Well? You told me to toughen up, so I did!

Therefore, you should do that!

Or, you can respond by saying, “No. It’s not about toughing up. It’s about asserting my right to be treated with decency and I don’t have to take that mess.” And when you say it, say it with conviction.

4. “Get over it.”

People do this to invalidate your experiences with bullying and your thoughts and feelings about it. Therefore, you should respond by saying, “No. You need to get over your denial that bullying happens here.”

Or, if it’s one of your bullies who tells you this, you can respond by saying something to the tune of, “No, you need to get over your assholery and your need for control! I’m not taking this crap anymore!”

5. Speaking Up About Bullying:

“Don’t be a crybaby.”

Bullies and their flying monkeys give this response to shame you into silence. Don’t let them do that. Tell the bully that they’re the crybaby because they’re afraid of being exposed.

Or, you can tell them that if they keep it up, you’re likely to make a crybaby out of them.

Whatever you do, don’t let it slide. Don’t react, but do respond.

6. “Stop whining.”

Again, this is another attempt to shame you into shutting your mouth. Therefore, come up with a response to counter this.

7. “Don’t be a tattletale.”

This is, yet, another attempt to shame you. Therefore, respond accordingly.

8. “Maybe you should just stay out of their way.”

Understand this. You don’t have to tip-toe around anyone. Neither must you bite your tongue to appease bullies.  And …you shouldn’t! Therefore, again, respond accordingly. Never take the blame for someone else’s bad behavior! Ever!

Speaking Up About Bullying:

In conclusion:

All of the above, so-called nuggets of advice are only meant to shame and silence you. Bullying is no different from any other form of abuse. It thrives on secrecy.

Therefore, if you don’t speak out about it, the bullying and abuse will only continue and escalate.

I realize that getting these kinds of responses makes you feel even worse. Moreover, there’s a temptation to clam up and burrow back into your hole. But don’t!

You must refuse to keep quiet about it!

So, keep speaking out about it. When people give you any of the above responses, that’s when you should only double down. Therefore, dig your heels in and speak louder! Why? Because only when a problem is addressed does it have the potential to be solved.

Keep speaking about it and setting boundaries!

It may get worse before it gets better. However, things will improve in the long run, it you continue to speak against the bullying.

And no matter the outcome, you’ll feel so much better about yourself knowing you took a stand.

This post was all about speaking up about bullying, the gaslighting you should expect, and how to stand up to it.

Related posts you’ll enjoy:

1. Defending Yourself from Bullies: 11 Best Defenses

2. Setting Boundaries: 3 Powerful Practices to Hold Your Ground

3. Fear of Setting Boundaries: 5 Reasons You Don’t Stand Up to Bullies

4. Benefits of Setting Boundaries

5. How to Defend Yourself from Bullies: 5 Powerful Strategies