Still don’t understand exactly what selective outrage looks like? Here are several selective outrage examples to make it easier for you to know the context of it, so that you won’t doubt it when you see it.
Selective outrage is a form of conditioning. It is used strictly for control. And bullies use it all the time to keep their victims under their thumb.
Therefore, in this post, you will discover several selective outrage examples so that you will know, without a doubt, what it looks like.
Once you realize how it looks in real life, you will be able to call it out when you see it. You will also be able to protect yourself from hypocrisy and double standards.
This post will give you several selective outrage examples so that you can defend yourself if bullies try to single you out for behavior others get away with.
Selective Outrage Examples
As mentioned earlier, selective outrage is a form of psychological and behavioral control. Also, it is hypocrisy. People in power use it to praise one person or group and punish another. So, what are examples of this biased anger? Here they are.
1. You’re a girl who’s in a Genuine Love Relationship.
For example, you’re a girl, and others learn that you’re in a monogamous romantic relationship. You and this young man have been seeing each other for nearly a year.
Moreover, you aren’t only dating; you’re having sex every weekend.
If you’re the target of bullying, they label you a “whore.” Your boyfriend must be with you to get into your pants. And it’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of you and dumps you for someone better.
Therefore, everyone uses your lack of celibacy as an opportunity to persecute you.
On the other hand, what if it’s another girl, particularly one who isn’t a target of bullying? She isn’t necessarily a member of the popular crowd. She just isn’t bullied like you are. She’s just an average Jane who blends in well.
As long as she isn’t you, she’s only a girl in love. She and her boyfriend are only experimenting. They’re exploring the sexual terrain. Others only see it as “being in love.”
Therefore, because she’s not you, everyone cuts her some slack. They don’t say anything about it. Or, they congratulate her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.
In short, because they hate you, they resent that you have someone who loves you. So, they want to punish you for it.
Selective Outrage Examples:
2. You like to party, and you and your buddies were caught Drinking at a kegger.
You’re a boy in school who goes out, drinks, and does drugs on the weekends.
If you’re a target of bullying, people will label you a worthless drunk. Also, they’ll say that you’re a wildcard. And they won’t let you live it down.
However, if you’re anyone else, people only say that you’re a hell-raiser! You’re only doing what most teenage boys do. Therefore, others dismiss it as you being one of those rowdy kids from high school.
3. You’re a girl in high school, AND YOU’VE RECENTLY DISCOVERED that you’re Pregnant.
You’re a girl in high school, and you discover that you’re pregnant.
If you’re a victim of bullying, people call you a cheap little slut. Moreover, they won’t be surprised you’re “knocked up.” And they’ll shun you like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.”
Everyone judges you harshly. They will make predictions. They’ll swear that you and your baby will live on welfare and leech from society.
Also, they’ll predict that they and everyone else will have to support you with their tax dollars. Why? Because you’re a sorry excuse for a human being.
Another thing they might do is predict that you’ll be an unfit mother. In other words, they’ll attack your parenting skills before you get a chance to use them.
However, if you’re anyone else, they’ll say that you’re just a good girl who made a bad mistake. Therefore, everyone will reach out to you and extend compassion.
They may throw you a baby shower and celebrate the occasion. Do you see where I’m going with this? These double standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.
Therefore, if you find yourself in this situation, stand up to them. The best way to do it is to tell them to eff all the way off.
Selective Outrage Examples:
4. You’re involved in a school fight because you decided to start defending yourself against physical bullying.
No one said a word all those years your bullies were pounding your face in. In fact, some even cheered it on. However, all of a sudden, it’s a problem the moment you begin fighting back.
In other words, if your bully kicks your ass, everyone approves. But when you finally kick theirs, everyone is surprised… and outraged!
“How dare you!”
Another thing they may do is ask you what you could’ve done to avoid being bullied.
School staff and workplace managers are so guilty of this. In many cases, they ask you, “What do you think you could’ve done to prevent John from cursing you out?”
If nothing else, understand this right now! When they ask you questions like these, they’re trying to put it off on you. Don’t let them do it!
Call them out on it. Let them know that you see through that statement. Tell them you won’t accept blame for anyone else’s deplorable behavior. And when you say it, mean it.
Selective Outrage Examples:
Thirdly, they may shift everyone’s focus from the bullies’ actions to your reactions.
Anytime you call attention to their disgusting behavior, your bullies try to distract others’ attention to the way you reacted to it. And they do this to make you ashamed of defending yourself.
Moreover, they want you to doubt your own judgment. Bullying thrives on secrecy. Therefore, bullies point out your reaction, hoping that witnesses will blame you. They also hope that you’ll shut your mouth.
5. You speak out when a bully verbally abuses you.
When everyone else speaks out, they’re being assertive. They’re expressing their right not to be abused.
But when you do it, you’re being rude and disrespectful. Or, people may tell you that you’re “too sensitive.”
Whatever their response may be, they’re singling you out for things others get away with. Therefore, you must call them on it, no matter what they may try to shut you down.
Selective Outrage Examples:
6. Sometimes you like to act a little silly to have fun.
Sometimes you just need to let loose and have fun. There’s nothing wrong with that. And it isn’t something to be ashamed of.
When others cut up and act silly, they’re only horsing around and having fun. That sounds fair enough. However, it suddenly bothers people when you do it.
Instead of having fun, they accuse you of being annoying or acting foolish. If nothing else, know this. It isn’t your behavior they take issue with. It’s who you are.
But understand the hidden context here. These people hate you. And the last thing they want is to see you having fun.
So, why not keep pissing them off? Keep having fun, and to hell with what they say about it.
7. You’re friendly to strangers.
Here’s another example. A new kid comes to school. When others are friendly toward them, they’re doing just that – being friendly. However, when you do it, you’re sucking up.
Others make derogatory statements to shame you into shrinking yourself. They try to get you to stop being friendly to the person.
Understand that this is a targeted attack. When it looks like you’re about to make a friend, bullies and everyone else will feel threatened. Why?
Because if you succeed in making a friend, it will challenge the narrative. What narrative? You may ask. The narrative that you’re undesirable – that you’re a bad person.
Therefore, they will do whatever it takes to keep you from proving them wrong.
Selective Outrage Examples:
8. You offer help when you see someone struggling.
When anyone else offers help, it is genuine, and they only want to assist another human being. But when you do it, others, especially bullies, will accuse you of trying to score brownie points.
Here are a few names they may call you.
- Ass-kisser
- Brown nose
- Suckup
- Simp
Again, understand why bullies do this. It’s because they hate you with a passion. And, secretly, they can’t stand the thought of you making a friend.
Friends become allies. And you having allies threatens the power your bullies hold over you. Therefore, they’ll do anything to keep you friendless.
The best thing for you to do is tell them to piss off and mind their own damn business.
9. You’re a girl, and you like to wear tight jeans.
You’re a thin girl with a good body. You know it, and you’re confident with it. So, why not show off your curves with tight-fitting jeans?
Therefore, you confidently rock those denims. Your bullies see you. And they attack your confidence by ridiculing you and telling you that you look like a desperate slut.
But see it for what it means. Bullies despise any confidence in their victims. Why? Again, it threatens their power. So, what do they do? They try to knock you down a peg or two.
Don’t let them do it. Continue to rock those jeans. Know that you look good no matter what they say.
Selective Outrage Examples:
10. You love to dress up for school.
You like to dress up for school because it makes you feel good. Therefore, you confidently rock your outfits. Your bullies notice and accuse you of showing off to get attention.
You must understand what’s up with them. They’re probably jealous of your clothes. Or, your confidence threatens their power.
So, don’t let them cause you to dress down. They’ll only find something else to say.
11. You’re on the football team, and you score a touchdown.
You’re being bullied, and you’re on the football team. You’ve been practicing harder, and it pays off. You score a touchdown.
Anyone else would get cheers and compliments. However, they only ridicule you. Others claim that you’re trying to show off. Or, they may say you just got lucky.
This should only make you feel better. Their reactions only prove their frustration. Therefore, keep practicing and getting better.
Selective Outrage Examples:
12. You score 94 – 100 on a big test.
You take a big test and score an A. If you were anyone else, they wouldn’t say anything. Or, maybe they’d praise you for being smart. However, you’re you. So they only accuse you of trying to impress the teacher.
Don’t let this slow you down. Keep making these good grades, and to hell with what they say about it.
13. Ignoring everyone else’s missteps but being quick to point out yours.
Anyone else can make a mistake, and they’re only human. But God forbid you make one. When you’re bullies. Others get leeway. But when you make a mistake, they make a big deal out of it.
Don’t let it get to you. Realize that we all goof every now and again. Instead of regretting the mistake, learn from it.
In Conclusion
You must learn about selective outrage. Because the more you know about it, the less it will bother you when bullies use it to bring you down.
This post gave you all the selective outrage examples so that you will recognize it when you see it. Then, it won’t faze you if bullies use it to try and destroy your confidence.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Selective Outrage: 7 Reasons Bullies Use It
2. Learning to Love Yourself: 11 Reasons Self-Love is Most Important