Manipulators: 8 Ways They Manipulate

Cherie White

6 hours ago

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Want to know about manipulators and how they operate? Here’s everything you need to know.

Manipulators are everywhere, at school, in the workplace, and even in the home. Therefore, in this post, you will learn all about manipulators and the tactics they use to get what they want.

Once you learn all about these crucial details, you will be better able to spot them and protect yourself.

This post is all about manipulators so that you can recognize when you’re being taken for a sucker and drop them like they’re hot.

Manipulators

So, why do people resort to manipulation? They do it because they feel powerless inside. They don’t have the guts to come out and ask for what they want.

Moreover, they feel they can’t get their needs met any other way. Therefore, they must resort to indirect means and trickery to get their needs and wants met.

There are many ways people, especially bullies, manipulate. Here are all the tactics they use to get what they want from you.

1. Guilt Trips

Manipulators will make you feel guilty when you don’t let them have their way. And they will continue to violate your boundaries.

If you “dare” to stand up to them, they’ll become offended and angry. They will try to make you believe you are the bad guy.

Many times when I was young, others tried to constantly manipulate me. They told me that if I didn’t do what they wanted, I wasn’t a good person. Or they would imply that I wasn’t a team player.

They would accuse me of being selfish, stingy, or greedy. The other person would always say things that made me feel rotten.

Manipulators may also attempt to make you feel obligated somehow. They may refer to something they did for you and imply that you now owe them.

For example, if a partner asks a girl for sex and she tells them she’s not ready to take that step yet, the partner will then say something to the tune of, “I just took you out to a five-course dinner and treated you to a great movie…” Blah-b-blah.

Let’s be clear, you don’t owe them anything, especially if it’s a date trying to get in your pants. The same goes if someone is trying to talk you into joining them in doing something illegal.

If something doesn’t feel right and you get the feeling you’re better off not going along, trust your instincts. And say no, then tell them to either beat it or take you home right then!

2. Tactics of Manipulators:

Pretending not to understand

“I don’t know what you’re talking about!” We have all heard that line many times. Manipulators will claim they don’t understand. However, they know darn well what you’re saying, but don’t want to.

Do not fall for this! Either walk away, or tell the person, “Don’t give me that crap. You know exactly what I’m talking about.” Then, walk away.

3. Being friendly only when they expect something in return

Every single one of us has dealt with those types- you know the ones. You never hear from these people. Moreover, they may even treat you coldly when they see you out and about.

Then, suddenly, magically, out of the blue, they call you up or start being friendly. Next, they ask you for a favor, some help with a problem they are dealing with. Or maybe they need a little cash.

And so, you help the person, and once they’ve gotten what they wanted, it’s back to true blue. They disappear or go back to treating you like trash.

You must see this person for who they are. And this creep is nothing but a user. They’re one of many manipulators who get over on you and many others.

Ditch this person because they will only drain you. You don’t need them in your life.

4. Tactics of Manipulators:

The silent treatment

This is one of the most common tactics manipulators use. And they do it to exploit the natural and extreme human need for social acceptance and community.

Let’s face it. We are all hardwired for social connection. Furthermore, it’s natural to go silent on someone when they’ve done us wrong.

However, the silent treatment can also be abused by manipulators when they don’t get their way, and can be damaging to the target when used against them.

If a bully or anyone else tries to get you to do something you don’t want to do, no law says that you have to do it. And how you protect yourself against this childish behavior is to not care about it. Instead, mirror it back to them.

In other words, when someone gives you the silent treatment, you give it back to them. Always remember that two can play that game!

5. Acting as if an agreement has been made when there’s been no agreement at all

This can be the most infuriating. These creeps will often go ahead with their plans before you’ve agreed. Or they’ll tell you something like, “Remember? We agreed to so-and-so last week,” knowing darn well you never agreed to anything.

Manipulators will try to put words in your mouth to strong-arm you into giving in. They won’t even stop to think about how you feel about it. Why? Because they don’t care.

Don’t go along with this. Give this person their walking papers. Pronto!

6. Tactics of Manipulators:

Predicting negative outcomes to your plans

Anytime you have plans, there will be those who will try to break your confidence. And they will do it by giving you words of discouragement.

For example, if you plan to record a CD, they might say things like, “I’m not trying to disappoint you, but chances are your CD will never chart.” Or “I hate to say this, but it’s no guarantee a producer will ever sign you to a record deal.”

Moreover, if you’re planning to publish a book, someone might ask you, “How do you know your book will even sell?” Or they might ask, “Do you really think you’re that good a writer? You need to be honest with yourself.”

They may also ridicule and belittle your goals and dreams. They do this to make your dreams seem foolish or something to be ashamed of. And sadly, these kinds of tactics work.

They’re even more effective when manipulators use them in front of an audience.

Trust me, I had people do the same to me, but it never discouraged me. It only ticked me off and made me double down on my plans to publish my books. And the best part is, I finally did it!

I advise you to do the same. If a shady character tries to discourage you from pursuing your plans, goals, and dreams, keep going.

Realize that the reason people discourage you is that they’re so afraid that you might succeed. In fact, the very possibility of you succeeding scares them to death!

Why? Because your success would force these jerks to take a long look at themselves and their own pathetic lives. Moreover, it just might put you ahead of them.

7. Tactics of Manipulators:

Distracting you from your goals

If jealous manipulators know that you’re striving toward a goal, they will deliberately try to distract you. Again, the reason they do this is that, deep down, they’re afraid that you might succeed. Then you will force them to compare your life to theirs.

Point blank, these people want so badly for you to fail. And they want you to stay on the same level as them. Why? So they won’t be left alone in the gutter, feeling so bad about themselves.

For example, people might be real sneaky about it. They may begin inviting you to parties or trying to get you drunk.

When they do this, they can claim that they only want you to have a good time instead of sitting at home studying all the time. Or they may be more overt and interrupt you while you’re working.

Or, they may play loud music while you’re trying to concentrate. Again, these people are scared to death of your success. And they will very slyly put out all the stops to distract your attention. So, beware.

How you combat this is by politely declining any invitations. Or, you can go to a place where you can work quietly and not be interrupted or distracted.

8. Tactics of Manipulators:

Isolating you.

Abusive partners

This is, perhaps, one of the worst manipulation tactics. And it happens often in abusive marriages and relationships.

The person may try to keep you away from caring family and friends. Therefore, you must see the reasons they do it.

One reason is to control the narrative. They want to make sure your loved ones don’t give you information that could put them in danger. For instance, your family members may see right through your partner.

As a result, they may tell you that they aren’t good for you and that you should drop them. Moreover, your partner may want to keep you all to themselves. However, you must understand that this isn’t normal and should be seen as a red flag.

Bullies

If your manipulators are bullies, they may turn your friends against you. They may also make it difficult for you to make new friends.

Understand that they do this to control your social life. If they can ruin your reputation and turn everyone against you, they can make you lonely. Moreover, they can cut off any support you might otherwise receive.

And it’s all to maintain power over your life.

Tactics of Manipulators:

in conclusion

These are only a few tactics manipulators use, but they are the most common. Other tactics include gaslighting, physical abuse, and fear.

Your best defense against them is knowledge. When you know their tactics and personalities, you can better predict what they’ll do. Then you can block their attempts to control you.

With knowledge comes empowerment.