Want to know why you should stop explaining yourself to bullies? Here are all the reasons you need to stop doing it right now.
Explaining yourself all the time subtracts from your value. You don’t need others’ understanding. It’s that some don’t understand, it’s that they don’t want to understand. And if someone doesn’t want to understand, no amount of explaining will ever be enough.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn to stop explaining yourself to bullies so you can reclaim your self-respect and your life.
Once you learn all the reasons why you should never reduce yourself like that, it will compel you to only provide brief answers rather than long, drawn-out ones.
This post gives you all the reasons to stop explaining yourself now and not later. That way, you’ll only provide short answers in fewer words and take back your dignity.
Stop Explaining Yourself
Explaining yourself only makes you look too submissive. Bullies notice this from a mile away and don’t think they won’t exploit it. Here are all the reasons to reserve the explanations for those who are worthy of them.
1. It’s a trap.
Abusers will often try to trick you into giving them needless explanations. This is a trap because, no matter how much you explain things to them, they will only pretend not to get it.
And why not? These people want to hurt you. They have no goodwill toward you. Therefore, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.
You must recognize that those who are toxic do this intentionally. One reason they challenge your explanations is to prompt you to provide more. Why? To throw you off-balance and keep you interacting with them.
Another reason they do this is to gather information they can use against you later.
Again, bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one. They only pretend to want it.
Therefore, it’s a trap. And you only waste your time and energy trying.
2. Stop Explaining Yourself:
You don’t owe them anything.
Ask yourself this question. Who the hell are they that you need to explain anything to? Realize that you owe nothing to anyone who abuses you.
They have no bearing on your life. They don’t pay your bills, they don’t sign your paychecks, and they aren’t your spouse or parents. Therefore, they have no say over any part of your life.
So, the next time they demand an explanation, tell them to get stuffed and walk away. They aren’t worth your time.
3. Bullies don’t care what your reasons are.
Again, when you try to explain yourself, bullies will only pretend not to get it. Moreover, they’ll twist your logical explanation and make it look like you’re just making excuses.
For example, when you stand up for yourself, they will accuse you of being rude and disrespectful. However, realize that they will only do this to gaslight you and make you feel guilty for defending yourself.
Don’t fall for it. Simply call out their gaslighting and tell them to step off. Or, you could just put your hand up and walk away.
Nevertheless, stop trying so hard to convince them. And this includes those who claim to be your friends. Let everyone else believe what they want, then let that help you decide who you should cut out of your life for good.
4. Stop Explaining Yourself:
Your bullies are already sure you’re innocent of their accusations.
What if they are accusing you of something?
Anytime bullies accuse you of wrongdoing that you know nothing about, they’re doing it to make a big show. Have you noticed that toxic people usually loudly accuse you of something in front of an audience?
Again, these creeps already figure that you’re innocent. Moreover, they are fully aware that you had nothing to do with the transgression they accuse you of.
They’re only doing this to get you to react.
5. They do it for power.
Keeping you explaining is one way they get their power. And why would they stop? You’ve probably been giving them that rush of power all along. And your bullies are addicted to it.
Bullies get their kicks by watching you stutter and stammer, trying to come up with a convincing explanation. Therefore, stop giving them free entertainment.
Remember that power rushes always wear off quickly. Therefore, they will only crave another rush soon and come back for more. Power is something bullies can’t get enough of.
6. Stop Explaining Yourself:
It’s a waste of your precious energy.
Explaining yourself to those who abuse you is exhausting. Moreover, it’s a waste of time because people will believe what they want. Not everyone needs to hear your side of the story. Therefore, be okay with that.
Besides, even if you produce evidence to prove your point, you will have to work to gather that evidence.
Therefore, do you really want to work that hard all your life? Isn’t it time that you said, “f*ck ’em” and walked away?
Realize that some people aren’t good for you. They’re exhausting to be around and suck the energy right out of you. Give these creeps the middle finger and walk away.
I promise you’ll be glad you did.
7. Stop Explaining Yourself:
You don’t have to prove a damn thing to anyone, especially those who mistreat you.
If nothing else, know this. You don’t have to prove anything to anyone. Why should you care what they think? Let them think whatever they want.
Ask yourself these questions:
- “Who are these morons?
- “Who are they that I should have to explain anything?”
- “Are they even up to my level?”
- “Do they bring anything positive and worthwhile to my life?”
Once you ask these questions, the answer will be crystal clear. Moreover, you’ll realize that you don’t owe these creeps a damn thing!
Bullies can be intimidating and threatening, I grant you that. It’s hard to resist an explanation when you’re scared to death.
In other words, it’s difficult not to begin rattling off in nervousness when you just want them to go away and leave you alone. However, trust me, they won’t! Remember, bullies and abusers always come back for more!
Additionally, all the explaining in the world won’t make things better. If anything, the harassment will only get worse because your reaction will only make you an even bigger and easier target.
Some people just aren’t worthy of your explanations. They aren’t worth the effort. So, stop. Just stop already!
8. Stop Explaining Yourself:
You make yourself look pathetic.
When you constantly explain yourself, you make yourself look like a simp. You appear as if you’re crawling up behind people who couldn’t care less.
Moreover, others will notice, and they won’t respect you. It’s funny how contagious bullying and abuse can be. When others see bullies run over you, soon, they will start doing it too.
Therefore, it’s crucial that you start explaining yourself to others. It won’t be easy. However, it will be worth it!
9. It puts you in a position of weakness and inferiority.
Many victims of bullying over-explain because they have an inferiority complex. And why not? Once you’ve suffered years of relentless bullying, it has ways of conditioning you to think that you are less than.
In a world full of human predators, the last thing you want is to appear weak. If you do, bullies will eat you alive.
When you explain, you signal inferiority. You also convey weakness. In other words, you place yourself in a position of lesser power. And you give someone else something that they have no right to – authority over you!
Therefore, you make yourself an even bigger target to those who use and abuse. Therefore, reserve your explanation for those who are truly worthy of it.
Stop Explaining Yourself:
You must stop caring what other people think.
Stop concerning yourself with others’ opinions. Explaining doesn’t work with bullies. And you don’t have to. Its the first step in getting on the explaining hamster wheel.
Moreover, you reclaim your freedom and autonomy. When you don’t feel the need to explain anything to anyone, it’s freedom unlike anything you’ve ever experienced.
You can freely be yourself, make your own decisions, and live life on your terms. Therefore, you experience freedom as you’ve never known.
Get off the hamster wheel. Doing this may seem awkward at first, and you may feel like a heel. Moreover, bullies and others may notice the change and try to make you feel guilty for it.
However, the reason they push back is that they have benefited from your explanations. And they don’t want those benefits to stop.
Therefore, you must expect this and double down. Eventually, they’ll give up.
This post provided all the reasons you should stop explaining yourself so that you can speak from a position of strength and take back your power.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond
2. What Doesn’t Work with Bullies: 10 Reactions to Stop Right Now
3. You Don’t Have to Explain Yourself: 5 Reasons You Shouldn’t
4. How to Stop Over-Explaining: 9 Powerful Mind-Hacks You Can Use
5. People with Negative Energy: How to Protect Yourself from Them