‘Want to know how to deal with bullies? There’s a right way and a wrong way to handle them. Here are the 7 do’s and don’ts you need to be aware of.
Bullies have all kinds of tactics in their bag of tricks. They have tactics you probably haven’t thought about yet. Moreover, there’s a wrong and right way to deal with them.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn how to deal with bullies. You will learn the wrong and right ways to handle them so that you know what measures to avoid and which to use.
Once you learn all about this important information, you will be better able to make yourself less a target and handle bullies wisely.
This post is all about how to deal with bullies so that you can take care of yourself in any bullying situation.
How to Deal with Bullies
In order to better know the right ways to handle bullying, you must first know what ways to avoid. Here are the wrong ways of dealing with bullying that you need to know.
The Don’ts:
1. Don’t Ask them, “Why”.
Why? Because they will never tell you why they treat you so inhumanely. Understand that keeping you guessing is half the power bullies have over you.
Bullies are notorious for withholding information. In fact, withholding information is a silent bullying tactic all it’s own. Therefore, they’ll never tell you why they bully you.
In some cases, the bullies, themselves, don’t really know why. However, if they did, they probably wouldn’t tell you the truth.
So, why won’t they tell you the reasons they mistreat you?
Simple. It’s to keep you confused and bewildered. Keeping you befuddled is a power all its own. Because when you’re confused, you can’t think clearly.
And if you can’t think clearly, the less likely you are to figure out what to do to escape the bullies and their abuse. Or worse- how to defend yourself, conquer your bullies, and win your power back.
Keeping you confused is a huge chunk of the power bullies have over you.
Understand that bullies will never relinquish their power. Never! And to be truthful as to why they bully you would be like giving secrets to the enemy.
To be honest and tell you what they hate about you would be like giving their power away to you, and they’ll be damned if they ever!
I want you to know that there’s nothing wrong with you. You must know in your heart that you never did anything to deserve the brutal treatment your bullies continuously dish out to you.
They are the messed up ones. They are the ones with the problem. Moreover, they are the ones who will have to answer for what they’re doing one day, either in this life or the next.
Therefore, instead of focusing your attention on trying to find out why your bullies are giving you problems, focus on self-care.
Instead of asking, “Why me?” ask, “What can I do to take care of myself?” or “What can I do to remove myself from the situation?”
Think about what options you have and weigh each of them carefully. Then quietly begin making plans to get out of there as soon and as safely as possible.
2. How to Deal with Bullies:
Don’t give them any apology. Ever!
For anything!
Why? Because bullies will only see your apologies as weakness. And you can never appease a bully. Realize that when you apologize to a bully, you’re taking responsibility for things that aren’t your fault.
And when you give bullies apologies that are undeserved, you take accountability for their deplorable behavior. Furthermore, you’re giving your bullies exactly what they want and they know it.
Bullies and abusers will try to force you to apologize for something you know isn’t your fault. In other words, they’ll try to make you sorry for things that are beyond your control.
Moreover, they’ll even try and make you apologize for something that doesn’t need an apology. Therefore, respond but don’t apologize.
In other words, don’t say, “I’m sorry,” or “I apologize.”
Here are ways you can respond to bullies who pull this crap. And these are very powerful responses. When you use these, you respond to these bullies without accepting blame. You also respond with strength and power.
- You’ll get over it.
- You’ll be alright.
- By the end of the day, this won’t even matter.
- It’s no big deal.
- This isn’t a crisis. Everything’s going to be okay.
3. How to Deal with Bullies:
Don’t explain anything to them.
When having a conversation with bullies and abusers, they will often try to trick you into explaining yourself to them. This is a trap because, no matter how you much explaining you do, they’ll never accept anything you have to say.
It doesn’t matter how logical your explanation may be, bullies will only pretend that they don’t understand. They’ll only keep challenging and criticizing your explanations just to get you to give even more of them.
Know that they do this on purpose.
You must see this tactic for what it is and what it’s meant to do. It’s all designed to throw you off balance. Moreover, bullies want to keep you running in an endless hamster wheel of explanations and justifications.
Therefore, the important thing to bear in mind is that this is a trick! Bullies really don’t need an explanation from you. In fact, they don’t even want one.
They only pretend to want it. What your bullies really want is to bamboozle you and keep you interacting with them.
Why? Because the longer your bullies can keep you engaging with them, the more chances they have to twist the things you say. Then, they can use them as proverbial bullets to fire back at you later.
Therefore, don’t explain a damn thing to them. You must realize that you don’t own them any explanations. You don’t owe them squat!
How to Deal with Bullies:
Do’s
1. Do stand up to them.
You must stand up to bullies. Never ignore them and never handle them with diplomacy or politeness.
Remember that bullies don’t respond to politeness, diplomacy, or pleasantries. They only respond to strength and power. Therefore, you must communicate to them in the only language they understand.
In other words, you must respond with strength and power! And sometimes that means being brutal!
For instance, physical bullies only understand the language of fists. So, you must be prepared to put up your fists and fight if necessary!
2. Gather your own evidence of bullying.
If you’re a victim of bullying, it’s crucial that you get evidence of it. Keep a daily journal and document the bullying, using the 5W Method.
Also, save any electronic evidence of cyberbullying. Why? Because if they bully you at school or work, they’ll probably find you online and bully you there as well.
Therefore, save any mean and threatening texts, emails, social media posts, and private messages on three or more flash drives.
Furthermore, depending on the laws in your state, you may be able to wear a body cam or record the bullying on a digital audio recorder.
And save any medical records and doctor’s reports if you ever need medical attention because of a physical bully.
3. How to Deal with Bullies:
Report the bullying to authorities.
Report the bullying to the principal, human resources, or the police. If the bullying is happening at work, fill out a grievance form. They also have bullying forms at school that you can fill out.
If all else fails, report the bullying to the police and get a restraining order. They may not do anything. However, the idea is to establish a paper trail.
And be sure to get copies of the paperwork. If there are reports on file and copies of them in your possession, you will establish evidence of a pattern of bullying.
This is a must in case you have to take it to court later.
Here’s another thing I want to mention. When you report bullying, schools and workplaces may try to assure you that they’ll do an internal investigation.
However, most of them don’t. And if they do conduct an investigation, it’s usually a sloppy one. This is why you must quietly do your own investigation.
This may require a lot of work on your part. Moreover, you may have to go through many channels. You will need patience because it will take some time.
But when you’re being bullied, you can’t afford to be lazy. Be proactive. Gather your own evidence. Be your own detective. I guarantee you that it will be worth it in the long run!
In Closing:
There are right and wrong ways to handle bullies. However, if you do everything right, you can overcome bullying. And you can emerge a winner!
This post was all about how to deal with bullies so that you can know what to do and what not to do when you encounter bullying.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Bully Proof: 7 Do’s and Don’ts for Victims of Bullying
2. Saying Sorry Too Much: 4 Reasons You Do and How to Stop It
3. The Explaining Trap: 3 Reasons Bullies Set It and How to Respond