Be happy, be yourself! It’s an important phrase to know because being yourself equals being happy. When you find the courage to be authentic, there are many benefits that come with it.
When people are bullying you for only existing, the idea of being yourself can sound downright scary because you feel that it isn’t a safe thing to do.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn of all the great advantages you’ll have from just being the real you.
After you learn all these wonderful advantages, you will have the courage to just be you, without fear nor guilt.
Be happy, be yourself!
If bullies abuse you from every corner, you must gather all your courage to get comfortable with yourself, practice self-love, and to stop worrying about other’s opinions of you. I know it’s scary, I’ve been there. So, I understand your fear and apprehension and I don’t blame you.
However, when you finally stop caring about the opinions of others, bullies will eventually get tired of waiting for you to screw up, get bored, and go away.
Remember that bullies love to see you scared and that’s why they keep on doing the same childish stuff they do. And believe me, they want to keep you fearful because it feeds their egos.
Your fear is how your bullies control you. Therefore, do you want to spend years allowing them to keep control over your very existence?
What if I told you that there are huge benefits to not giving a crap?
Be happy, Be Yourself. What are the benefits?
1. You save your energy for better and more important things.
Consistently seeking approval gets exhausting. You worry needlessly over people who aren’t even worth your time. Moreover, you send the message that you need them more than they need you. And once you do that, you unwittingly tip the scales of power in their favor.
Therefore, never, ever feel that you need anyone more than they need you. Put the value on yourself instead. This way, you save your energy for only people who love you and who deserve you- your family and closest friends.
They are the only people whose opinions should matter. Anyone outside of that circle of people shouldn’t be an issue.
2. You take your power back.
When you constantly try to win approval from others, you unknowingly give away your personal power. Also, you place it in the hands of people who could give less then a rip about you.
In contrast, when you stop caring what people think, you take your power back because you permit yourself to be yourself and to think independently.
Additionally, you stop apologizing for your flaws and learn to embrace them, knowing that we’re all human and that everyone has flaws.
This is how you take back control of your life and begin calling your own shots.
It means that you start doing the things you enjoy, and you also start looking down on and avoiding the people who make you feel bad about yourself. And believe it or not, those people will notice the difference in you. And they’ll disappear.
Understand that anyone who you have to work to gain approval and acceptance from has no business in your life. Show this person the door. Fast! People like that, you can’t get rid of fast enough.
3. Be Happy, be Yourself: You discover freedom like you’ve never known.
When you stop caring what people think, you free yourself from their grip on you and take back your autonomy. In that, you take back control of your life.
On the other hand, when you seek approval from someone, you, in essence, lay a trap for yourself. Moreover, you set yourself up to be that person’s prisoner. And you can be sure that you will be discarded once you’ve served your purpose to them.
This is why people pleasing and approval seeking are so bad. Because you put yourself at the mercy of other people.
You make yourself too available to the people you’re trying so hard to score points with. But understand that people tend not to place much value, if any at all, on someone who’s always readily available.
Moreover, it’s the same with someone who is constantly around or (gasp!) someone who’s always chasing after human connection.
However, a person who does their own thing and is rare, scarce, mysterious, and allusive is usually the one who’s sought after. BE THAT PERSON!
Be that person who doesn’t give a damn what people think and watch things quickly change for the better!
Be Happy, Be Yourself: Here are a few examples and scenarios to make things easier:
1. You have a boyfriend who treats you like garbage and you’ll still do anything to hang onto him. Your world revolves around him because you’re afraid he’ll leave you.
Anytime you allow your world to revolve around someone because you’re afraid they’ll leave and that you won’t find another partner, you make yourself a slave to a partner who doesn’t give a crap about you.. As a result, you lose your value in their eyes and those of others. In short, you make yourself expendable and replaceable
2. You’re a target of bullying and your bullies have turned everyone against you. To keep from being by yourself all the time, you hang around people who don’t really like you but only tolerate you. And you do this because you’re afraid you won’t make new friends and seek attention because you feel deprived of it.
Hey! I get it, I understand the overwhelming feeling of loneliness and despair when you’re being bullied and being thrown under the bus by others who’ve turned on you. And my heart goes out to you.
However, the last thing you want is to give away what dignity you have left. Also, you don’t want to give your bullies and anyone else the satisfaction of seeing your desperation.
Know how these bullies think. Nine times out of ten, your bullies want to know how it hurts you. They want to see your wounds. They want to watch you beg and plead.
Your bullies want to see your pain because they want assurance that their abuse is working and that they still have power over you. They want proof that they can determine how you feel about yourself. Most of all, your bullies want you dependent on their say so.
Again, don’t give them the satisfaction! Be happy, be yourself!
Although they may disparage you, judge you, gossip about you, let them do it. Let them misunderstand you and let them look down their nose at you. Just don’t reward them by letting them know that their bullying is doing what they want it to do – ruining your life.
Otherwise, they’ll never stop! Because once bullies succeed in bringing you down, they will do their due diligence to keep you down.
Keep displaying strength and dignity and they’ll likely get bored and find another victim.
3. You’re a wife with an abusive husband and you let him talk you into quitting your job or dropping out of college. He promises to provide all your needs. And he does but at a high cost.
And that cost is that you give up what independence you had left and become totally dependent on someone who doesn’t love you. He only controls you and cares only for his own selfish desires.
Now, he has free reign over you and he can do to you whatever he wants. Talk about a power imbalance from hell, huh?
For example, my grandfather, who we suspect had narcissistic personality disorder, did the same to my grandmother during the mid-sixties. She worked for a T.V. manufacturing plant and allowed him to sweet talk her into quitting her job.
He promised that he would provide for all her needs and that he’d be a good husband to her if she’d only quit her job. Sadly, less than a month after she quit, he sold her candy apple red, ’66 Ford Mustang she had just paid for- behind her back! Right out from under her!
Case in point, he wanted her to need him more than he needed her. Thankfully, my grandmother eventually ended the marriage and moved on.
And when she got rid of him, she regained her freedom and lived in peace for the rest of her life!
Bullies are bullies no matter which environment you’re in! So Be happy Be yourself!
It’s all about control and the ability to dominate your life! Bullies in the home want their targets totally dependent on their approval to live in peace.
Those in the workplace want their targets to need their approval to keep and enjoy their jobs and to provide for themselves and their families.
Government bullies, better known as tyrants, want their constituents to think they need permission from them for freedom and to enjoy human rights.
Bullies at school want their targets to depend on their say so not only to enjoy having friends and a good social life, but also for psychological and physical safety.
So, how do we ensure that we never become dependent on another person?
We stop caring what people think! In that, we stop depending on their permission to enjoy life’s pleasures and fulfillment! Therefore, be happy, be yourself!
1. If you’re an abused wife, you keep your job, no matter how he may sweet talk you into quitting, no matter how he promises you that he’ll fulfill all your financial needs, and no matter how tough he makes life for you at home, or, if he wants you to drop out of college, don’t.
2. You quietly keep a private stash of money hidden away and keep saving until you can afford to bail out of the abusive marriage.
3. If you’re under the rule of a bully official, realize that the people outnumber this tyrant by the thousands and there is strength in numbers. Find a way to use that against them.
4. If you’re a target of bullying in the workplace, quietly update your resume and begin looking for another job. And whatever you do, find a way not to put the bully down as a reference. And when you find another job, quit!
5. Make friends outside the bullying workplace or school. Just because your bullies and others at work don’t value you doesn’t mean that people outside of the toxic workplace or educational institution won’t.
6. You may want to take a self-defense class to keep physically violent bullies at bay.
7. You keep your sense of self- continue to value and love yourself no matter how your bullies may mistreat you and degrade you.
In conclusion:
Although you can never control how others see you or how they behave toward you, you can control how you see and treat yourself. You have a choice of whether to keep them in your life or kick them out of it.
Remember that your thoughts are free, and you choose the way you think of yourself. You control how you see yourself. Moreover, you choose whether or not to care what other people think!
No one deserves to live, work, or learn in an unsafe environment. You’re well within your rights to walk away and never look back, or to at least, make changes that benefit you until you can walk away.
Therefore, stop caring what people think! Be happy, be yourself, and watch the benefits of it begin to roll in! Then, enjoy those advantages!
This post was all about how to BE Happy, Be yourself, and the Advantages you’ll see afterwards!
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Knowing Yourself: Why it’s the First Step in Building Confidence
2. Signs of Toxic People: 5 Tell-Tale Indicators
3. No Apology Necessary: 8 Things You Should Never Apologize For