How do bullies pick their victims? That is the question on every target’s mind. If people constantly bully you and you want the answers as to why they chose you to harass, look no further.
Being a victim of bullying can make life much more difficult than it should be. If you’re anything like I was, you’re probably wondering why it is you that bullies are coming for and what you can do about it.
You will learn about all the criteria bullies look for in potential victims.
After learning about this criteria, your answer to the question, “How do bullies pick their victims,” will be answered and you can begin the inner work to become more bully-proof. Also, you will be able to spot other potential victims and stand up for them if you must.
This post will give you all the answers to that nagging question that plagues your mind, “How do bullies pick their victims.”
How do bullies pick their victims?
Before we get into the answers, let’s ask this question.
Have you noticed that bullies always seen to pick the same types of people to target with their bullying?
Bullies pick good people, smart people, people who are creative and seem to be going places. They also pick those who are shy and quiet – introverts.
Moreover, and, perhaps, the saddest of all, they also pick people with medical conditions, the disabled, those with special needs, and those who have some kind of perceived physical defect.
Therefore, in a nutshell, they will either pick those who are much weaker and lower on the social hierarchy or those who pose a threat to their social status or power.
But!
Exactly what criteria do bullies watch closely for in potential victims? In other words and in broader terms, how do bullies pick their victims?
There are several answers. Here’s how:
1. Bullies like to make targets out of people who take responsibility for their lives.
Most targets tend to be good people who follow rules and laws. They understand that rules and laws are in place for a reason- to ensure a safe community and society.
Most targets do not go around blaming others for their actions and behavior. More often than not, targets blame themselves and try to correct their mistakes when they make them.
Therefore, bullies see this and they see these people as easy to manipulate and make feel guilty for their (the bullies’) rotten behavior.
Because these people tend to blame themselves, bullies will blame these people even though it’s the bullies who have the issues. Over time, bullies can condition targets to accept blame for things they have no control over, such as another person’s behavior.
2. “How do bullies pick their victims?”
They pick people who are goal oriented.
This is especially so with workplace and corporate bullies.
Many targets of bullying work hard, are goal-oriented and have a truckload of self-discipline. They know that if you want anything in life, you have to work for it.
Therefore, these victims work like the devil to reach their goals and dreams. Also, they have the utmost perseverance and endurance, which are characteristics that most bullies lack.
This is why many targets mistakenly stay in toxic work environments until they end up with a psychological injury from all the bullying they endure. Bullies select these people to bully because their good traits only reflect back to the bullies their own laziness, inadequacy, and lack of purpose.
Moreover, bullies see these people as threats. Why? Because bullies lack self-discipline, and their relationships are usually superficial, one-sided, and short lived. Therefore, they will pull out all the stops to contain those threats.
Bullies will exploit these people’s perseverance by establishing one-sided friendships, partnerships, and romances with them. Next, they use the push and pull method- going hot and cold, making empty promises and love bombing the person.
The reason they do this to make the victim hold onto the hope that just maybe the bully will give them what they’ve been wanting- acceptance, approval, attention, and praise.
However, the truth is that no matter how much the person tries to better the association, bullies will never be satisfied. They will always find fault with him/her. Understand that one person can never sustain a relationship, friendship, or partnership. It takes effort from both sides!
3. “How do bullies pick their victims?”
Most potential victims of bullying are empaths.
Most targets of bullying are exceptionally empathetic people who like to help humanity. They strive for self-betterment, to empower others, and make a positive difference in the world.
This is a threat to bullies because, again, these are threats to bullies and only reflect back at them their self-centered, attention grabbing, and flawed personalities. In short, empaths force bullies to see themselves for who they truly are.
Therefore, bullies will go all out to make them pay for it.
Also, bullies are masters at gaining sympathy from others. Therefore, they target people with empathy because they assume that they are the perfect to elicit sympathy from.
How bullies extract sympathy from empaths is by pretending to be the real victims.
Moreover, the minds of the bullies, the target is supposed to feel terrible for them because they’ve had such a tough life. And because they (the bullies) have had it so rough, it’s why they behave like they do.
Therefore, the target is made to feel that he/she should just accept the abuse.
Understand that this is a load of bologna. There’s no excuse for being a total heel to people and treating them like garbage.
Also, empaths have difficulty setting boundaries and bullies take full advantage of it. They usually retaliate viciously when the empath finally gets tired of their crap and puts their foot down.
4. Most targets of bullying are people who make plans and think ahead.
Because these people plan carefully and think ahead, they have goals and dreams that come to fruition and relationships that are solid and long lasting. Bullies are highly jealous of this and they desperately seek these people just to tear them down.
5. Bullies select people who are givers and not takers.
They love to target people who are people-pleasers and reluctant to ask for help and they select them because they see these people as easy to use and degrade. Because these people have a hard time establishing their boundaries, bullies will violate them at will and to achieve their own sick ends. Understand that bullies are takers and never givers!
6. “How do bullies pick their victims?”
they pick People who are smart.
Intelligence is a huge threat to bullies. Why? Because a smart person will more than likely see through the bullies’ fake facades and call them out publicly on it.
Also, just their intelligence alone can serve as a mirror and force the bullies to see their own lack of smarts and make them feel inferior. And they will seek to punish the target for that.
Moreover, bullies want to get them before they get the bullies.
targets who appear weaker, slower, and less intelligent
These victims don’t pose as threats to bullies. But because they are seen as having weaknesses and are usually on the lower end of the social hierarchy, bullies seen them as easy targets. Therefore, they will relentlessly harass them too.
This is mostly the case with school bullies, although the popular bullies may pick the students who are confident and are high academic stars.
1. These bullies select people with low self-esteem.
Bullies know these individuals are easy pickings. Why? Because anyone with low self-esteem will be least likely to fight back.
Low self-esteem is easy to spot and bullies are experts at reading people. Bullies will notice the body language of the potential victim.
And sadly, many people who are susceptible to becoming victims give off that “bullied” vibe, or the “victim” vibe. Moreover, they do it through their body language and other nonverbal expressions.
Poor posture, downcast eyes, frown or expressionless face, poor communication, and being too quiet are all signs of low self-esteem.
Bullies see this a mile away and they take full advantage.
2. Bullies usually pick people whose communication skills need improvement.
If a person’s communication skills are lacking, they will most likely suffer in silence when people violate their boundaries. Bullies rely on the target’s silence so that they can continue to bully the target and cover up their appalling behavior.
3. “how do bullies pick their victims?”
they pick those who are disabled and people with special needs.
Why? Because, sadly, these particular targets are the most vulnerable and least valued in society. Let’s just be truthful here.
In fact, they are virtually defenseless.
The heartbreaking truth is that nine times out of ten, the rest of of society doesn’t see them as human beings. Bullies aren’t stupid. They instinctively know this.
Therefore, should it be any wonder bullies prey on sped students and disabled adults the most?
Bullies are great big cowards and all too often, the disabled and those with special needs are unwilling or unable to defend themselves properly. Because students in special education are usually low on social intelligence, they’re easy to get a reaction from and bullies can exploit this at will.
4. bullies pick those with medical issues.
Of course. People with diseases, such as diabetes and cancer are least able to defend themselves. Bullies love people who can’t defend themselves because they feel the least threatened by them.
Also, they can bully them at will and for as long as they wish. Remember that bullies are entitled little cowards.
this post answered the question, “How do bullies pick their targets.
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