‘Want to know some examples of subtle bullying? Here are a few you need to know.
Subtle bullying is the most insidious because it is sneaky. The bullying isn’t as direct, and it’s designed to fly right over your head. In other words, it happens without you realizing it and doesn’t give you a chance to respond.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn about some examples of subtle bullying, so that you can recognize it when it happens and respond appropriately and confidently.
Once you learn about these examples, you will be better equipped to address them and prevent them from happening again.
This post is all about examples of subtle bullying, so you know what it looks and sounds like, and can more easily set boundaries.
Examples of Subtle Bullying
Subtle bullying is the most demeaning and humiliating for a person. I say this because when this type of bullying happens, the bullies are slick about it.
They catch you off guard, taunting you in such a way that it can be tricky to figure out who they’re directing it at. Sometimes, you don’t even know it’s directed at you until it’s way too late for you to deliver a good comeback.
The bully may not necessarily address it to you. However, while you may be unaware, any bystanders and witnesses nearby will immediately know who the bully is insulting. It’s amusing how we tend to see things more clearly from the outside.
What’s so terrible about this is that the stealthy insults are usually hurled at you in front of an audience. And they can quickly fly over your head. As a result, you end up looking foolish for not catching it in time.
Additionally, the bully’s words may be vague and unclear, but they will still nibble at your self-esteem. They take a chunk out of your pride whether you want them to or not.
Because you usually figure it out sooner or later. It only goes to prove how vicious these covert attacks can be.
But understand that although the bully and a few others might think he (the bully) is witty or cute and that the creep slapped you with a good burn, there are reasons why these types are so slick with their mouths.
Here are a few examples of Subtle Bullying
Example 1.
A heavier family member is at a family gathering. The family is discussing the cat that has just had kittens, and one of the kittens is a runt.
The heavier family member then mentions that they were a tiny four-pound preemie at birth and that they were once the runt of the litter too.
As the heavier family member leaves to go to the bathroom, another family member remarks, “But you caught up, though.” Then they giggle and say, “I don’t think she heard that.”
But the heavier family member does hear it, and it hurts. However, being the better and wiser person, she lets it go for the sake of keeping the peace. She’s an adult, and she lets it roll down her back.
However, inside, she’s crying. But she hides it with a smile and a laugh.
Example 2.
An older father is discussing his three sons. Two of the kids are blessed with lovely homes and generous paychecks. One is poor. The father remarks that, if he ever got sick and couldn’t live on his own, he’d have to live in the closet if he had to depend on the poor child to give him a place to live.
And he says it right in front of the poor child. The poor child is the bigger person. Therefore, the poor son is the graceful one and lets it go for the sake of family harmony.
However, inside, he feels less than but masks it perfectly.
1. They’re great big cowards.
Subtle bullies are too cowardly to make a direct attack. Moreover, they count on the possibility of you not noticing their insults.
Why? Because they know that they’ll likely throw you off balance. Therefore, you’ll be less likely to counter with a good response and make them look foolish.
Or, maybe they do it in a setting that makes it difficult to respond, such as the family gathering we just mentioned.
Again, these types of bullies are cowards, and they’re probably in a superior position in the family, where they can get away with it.
2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:
They think it makes them look cute.
Passive-aggressiveness is also used to get attention and look intelligent in front of others. These bullies can only achieve this by humiliating someone else and making them look (and feel) foolish.
Moreover, if they feel bad about themselves and their position in life, they roll out the zingers to make themselves feel better. Some people need to feel superior to someone else. Moreover, they often choose the least capable person in a group.
Remember, shit always rolls downhill and lands on the bottom rat. And when something lands on the bottom, that’s where it stays.
3. To stun you and keep you silent.
Often, the shock value of the insults is such that it leaves the recipient and bystanders speechless. Shock shuts down the ability to think clearly and causes the victim to pause for a second or two.
The target is often left stunned, standing there with their mouths hanging open and unable to respond quickly and appropriately. As a result, the person appears slow and feeble-minded in the eyes of bystanders, making the bully look smart and witty.
It can also strike fear into the target and keep them from speaking out, afraid that the bully will only verbally attack them with more insults.
4. Examples of Subtle Bullying:
Easy Deniability.
If the insults are vague and indirect, there’s a higher chance the bully will escape accountability if the target catches it right off and responds to it.
Then, the bully can more easily misconstrue the message and defensively claim innocence. They can say things such as,
- “Oh, that’s not what I meant.”
- “No harm intended.”
- “I wasn’t referring to you.”
- “You took that the wrong way.”
Understand that although the garbage that comes out of their mouths may be vile and directed at you, it will often have several different interpretations. And because of those multiple meanings, the bully can very innocently explain away the put-down.
As a result, they can make you look overly sensitive or mentally unstable.
But here’s the good news!
There are ways to read between the lines and stonewall these lowlife cowards anytime they get slick-mouthed with you. Here’s how you read between the lines.
1. Listen to your gut.
If that nagging feeling in the pit of your stomach feels off and you sense something is amiss, don’t ignore it. Your gut feeling is often right, so trust it!
2. Examples of Subtle Bullying:
Quickly observe any surrounding bystanders.
Make a split-second micro-glance of the witnesses and note their reactions and who they’re looking at. Notice their facial expressions and gestures.
If you see any of these expressions below, and you’re likely to notice many of them together, you are the target of the insult.
3. The witnesses’ eyes suddenly widen, and they immediately look at you funny after the bully opens his mouth.
This happens any time a bully throws a subtle zinger at you. Naturally, you’ll notice the people around you. You’ll see how their eyes nearly pop out of their heads and the funny looks they give you.
The reason for this is that they’re wondering why you don’t tell this person to piss off. They’re standing there thinking, “Damn! Why aren’t you saying something to defend yourself? If it were me, I’d tell that smart-ass piece of garbage to go to hell!”
4. They alternate uncomfortable glances from the bully to you, then back to the bully.
Again, they’re shocked that the bully said that to you. They’re waiting on you to deliver a good response. Moreover, they’re even more appalled that they did it right in front of your face and you aren’t standing up to it.
They’re thinking, “Why aren’t you telling this creep to get fucked? If it were me, I’d handle this shit quickly!”
3. Examples of Subtle Bullying:
You hear light gasps and grunts from the “audience.”
Again, they can’t believe that this person had the balls to say that to you. And they’re wondering why you stand there and take it.
5. You see their whole faces change suddenly and mouths slightly gape open.
These people aren’t only shocked, they’re embarrassed for you. Moreover, they’re relieved that it’s you getting subtly pummeled and not them.
Anytime a bully humiliates you like that in front of others. You must respond quickly or you’ll end up seeming like a pushover. Then, everyone will start bullying you.
6. If you hear soft but Mocking giggles, chuckles, or laughter
When you hear these things, see it for what it is. These people are enjoying seeing you get owned. Therefore, rain on their little parade. Tell the bully to get bent.
I realize that this may be difficult to do if it’s a family member. In that case, you don’t have to insult them back. However, you can tell them that what they did was wrong and that you don’t have to tolerate it.
If you see any number of these reactions from people around you, you will know automatically. Therefore, you can address the problem accordingly.
Examples of Subtle Bullying:
In CLOSING
When bullies throw subtle zingers and insults at you, the last thing you should do is not respond. You must see this for what it is. Your bullies are using passive-aggression. This type of bullying is psychological and you must stand up to it as you would if the bullying was physical.
The best thing you can do is address it. And when you do, chances are that they will respect your right to be treated better.
This post gave you some examples of subtle bullying so that you’ll recognize it when it happens and address it accordingly.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. Passive-Aggressive Bullying: 7 Hallmarks of Sneak Dissing
2. Psychological Abuse Tactics: 9 Mind Games Seasoned Bullies Use
3. Bullying Tactics: 9 Subtle Moves Bullies Use to Avoid Detection