‘Want to know the importance of a bullying journal and why you should keep one? Here are all the reasons you should keep a journal of the attacks if you suffer bullying.
If you’re a victim of bullying, it can have long-term, devastating effects on your life. Sadly, school officials, corporate managers, parents and even law enforcement still can’t fully comprehend the daily torment victims endure.
Therefore, in this post, you will learn why it’s crucial that you keep a daily bullying journal and document everything.
Once you learn all about the reasons for keeping one, you will be more proactive in ensuring your safety.
This post is all about the importance of keeping a bullying journal so that you can do your own investigation and build your own case against your bullies.
Bullying Journal
Journals are one of the best ways for you to get evidence of bullying.
Moreover, you especially need one if the bullying becomes physical and you need medical attention. Therefore, here are all the reasons this documentation is important to have.
1. Bullying is Hard to Prove.
Bullies are experts at acting charming and polite in front of other people. However, they do this to hide their bad behavior. This is why people often don’t believe you when you report the bullying.
In fact, they may blame you. They may ask what you did to make the bully attack you.
Why? Because the bully will only rationalize and explain away their bad behavior. Moreover, they’ll make it sound like you asked for it.
‘You see? Bullies are very convincing liars. They’re experts at turning others against you. Thus, you should always keep written documentation of their abuse.
Here’s another reason bullying is so difficult to prove.
Bullies often disguise their behavior as harmless jokes and teasing. Therefore, people in authority probably won’t take it very seriously when you report it.
They’ll just think that you’re too sensitive and need to lighten up.
2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:
Bullies are experts at making you look like the bad guy.
This goes back to number one. However, it bears repeating. Bullies can charm the panties off a nun. Here are ways they charm people in authority and make their lies sound so believable.
Many bullies use good looks and impeccable dressing to impress others. In this, they use the halo effect, to their advantage. The Halo Effect is a phenomenon where those who look the best are the most trusted and respected by others.
Also, bullies will use your emotions against you. Let’s face it, being bullied can turn you into an emotional mess. Therefore, if you react to bullying with intense anger or crying, bullies will put on a calm and collected demeanor.
As a result, you’ll come off looking unhinged. And people in authority will take the bullies’ word over yourself. Why? Because of the calm, cool front they put up.
Moreover, while looking calm, they’ll point out your emotional reaction and twist it to convince everyone that you’re unstable.
Bullies will also play the victim and burst into tears to gain sympathy from other people.
Seasoned bullies are master wordsmiths. They can spin a story that is so convincing that teachers and supervisors will find it hard not to believe it.
2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:
Most Schools and Workplaces Protect Bullies.
If your bullies are high performers, they’re able to impress teachers, principals, and supervisors. Therefore, it’s likely that reporting them won’t help
In fact, it might make things worse.
Understand that schools and workplaces look out for their own interests. Therefore, if your bullies impress them or make them look good, you’re screwed.
It’s not uncommon for schools or workplaces to cover up incidences of bullying. The reasons they do this is to protect their precious reputations.
Moreover, they may like the bullies, a lot! So, they’ll hide bullying to protect them as well. There are countless stories of schools retaliating against bullied kids for opening their mouths.
For example, the school might contact Child Protective Services and send them to their homes to break up their families.
Remember that school officials, mainly school board members, are elected officials.
3. IT Gives You Evidence to present in court or tribunals.
The school or company may tell you that they’ll investigate the bullying. However, they either won’t do it at all or they’ll do a sloppy investigation.
Also, here’s another thing you need to think about. Any investigations they conduct will be geared toward keeping their own asses out of hot water, not to protect you.
Therefore, you must be your own detective and build your own case. Keeping a bullying journal is one of the ways you can do this.
In fact, journals are the best way you can gather evidence of bullying.
4. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:
It Establishes a pattern of the bullying events.
To establish a pattern, you must write in your journal every day. Even if you have days when the bullies leave you alone, which will probably be rare, write those days down too.
This will prove how often these people bully you and will provide prove of that if the bullying is severe and ritualistic.
5. Documenting the bulling gives you a voice.
In other words, it gives you equal say when no one else listens to you. By documenting the abuse, you can tell your side without being ignored or having their experiences trivialized by the bully or anyone else.
Journals cannot trivialize your experiences. Moreover, they can’t invalidate your suffering in any way. Journals are also confidential. Therefore, they’re the safest.
If you’ve tried telling a staff member how people bully you, only for them to silence or blame you, you owe it to yourself to document the harassment in your daily journal.
In short, if you can’t talk about it, write about it! It will probably be the only outlet you have.
6. Your story will be more credible.
Writing your bullying journal is a clear, legible, and organized manner helps you to keep your story straight. Therefore, you’ll look more credible to anyone who’s in a position to help you.
When you’re emotional from all the bullying you suffer, you’re more likely to forget important parts of what happened.
Also, emotions may cause you to ramble when you explain what’s been happening. And, the last thing you want to do is start rambling when you’re trying to report bullying.
The reason for this is that high emotions block your ability to think straight. But if you have your journal, you’ll be more likely to stay calm and tell the entire story.
7. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:
It’s Admissible in Court.
Keeping a journal gives you a legal record of the bullying. Therefore, In case the bully hurts you badly enough to send you to the hospital, you’ll have your journal to present to law enforcement.
Moreover, if you have to go to court, you can use the journal as evidence of bullying.
8. It’s good therapy for you.
Keeping a journal is cathartic and therapeutic. It allows you to express the emotions you can’t show any other way.
What to do and what NOT to Do When You Journal
When you document bullying in your journal, you must think about the quality of the information. Here’s what not to do when documenting in your bullying journal.
1. Don’t be Vague.
Write down everything in detail. Record the what, who, when, where, why, and how. Also, avoid using subjective language. And never write down your conclusions of the bullying that’s been happening.
Examples of vague statements include,
- She made me feel humiliated.
- He embarrassed me in front of everyone.
- He physically assaulted me.
- They isolated me from everyone.
Focus on what happened and the bullying behaviors you encountered, not what you feel! For example, what do the bullies do? What did they say to you? Write down your bullies’ exact words, complete with quotation marks.
For instance, if a bully got in your face and slapped you, include that in your journal. Those are the bullying behaviors you need to describe. If they yelled at you, cursed you out, and threatened you, write that down too. Be sure to write down exactly what they said to you.
2. Reasons to Keep a Bullying Journal:
Do Stick to the facts.
In other words, avoid any primal responses. Keep the inflammatory language to a bare minimum. Now’s not the time for emotional writing. Just share what they did to you in the tiniest details possible.
3. Use the 5W Rule (what, who, when, where, why, and sometimes How).
Again, write down what happened in full detail. Also, record the names of those present when the attack took place. Write down the names of bullies, bystanders, teachers, EVERYONE!
Record the time, date and place the altercation occurred. Do this with every incident that takes place. Leave nothing out!
Even if the attacks are minor, you must still record it in your journal. For example, if the confrontation is verbal, write it down.
Why? Because verbal aggression often precedes a physical one.
In Closing:
I can’t stress this enough! Keeping a journal can be the difference between people listening to you or blowing you off.
Therefore, keep very detailed records of any taunts, threats and altercations no matter how small they may seem.
Also, write everything down while it’s fresh in your mind. The last thing you want to do is procrastinate and end up forgetting a few important details.
Write your daily journal in secret. This should go without saying. You wouldn’t want anyone to see it.
Bullies are known to destroy property and rummage through your belongings. Therefore, keep your journal in a safe place. If you worry about the wrong people finding it and snooping through it, keep your journal at home.
But write in it as soon as you get home, while your memory of the days events are still fresh. The sooner you record, the better.
Keeping a bullying journal is crucial when people bully you. Don’t depend on anyone else to do an investigation for you. Do your own. Gather your own evidence.
Build your own case. It could save your life.
This post is all about why you should keep a daily bullying journal so that you can gather your own evidence and build a rock solid case against your bullies and the people in power who allow them to abuse you.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How to Document Bullying: 5 Things to Record in Your Journal
2. Bullying Evidence: 5 Smart Ways to Get Evidence of Bullying