‘Want to know how to spot the difference between real friends vs fake friends? Here are the contrasts that you need to know.
Sadly, when people bully you, the loneliness can become so intense that you have trouble deciphering between real friends vs fake friends.
As a result, this can land you in trouble because you become so desperate for human connection that you lower your standards and pick anyone who smiles in your direction. However, you must keep your standards high.
In other words, stay picky and learn the signs of healthy people and unhealthy ones.
In this post, you will learn how to spot the differences between real friends and fake friends.
Once you learn how to recognize these contrasts, you will be able to choose your friends wisely. Moreover, you’ll be less likely to settle for creeps because you’ll have the courage to wait until healthier people find you.
This post is all about the differences of real friends vs fake friends so that you will recognize them and have the courage to be selective of the people you allow in your life.
Real Friends vs Fake Friends
“My fake friends taught me what friendship was by teaching me what it wasn’t.”
It’s been said that you don’t really learn to appreciate something until you must go without it.I say this because many of the losers I called friends back then weren’t friends at all. Therefore, these kinds of people are painful but powerful lessons if you’re willing to learn from them.
Another lesson I learned was that adult friendships are much healthier than high school friendships.
Most school friendships are superficial and are based on how popular you are and how well you can dress and how good you are at faking it. Moreover, they’re cliched, insincere, and one-sided.
So, how do you learn the difference between friend and faux? Here are the differences.
1. A Real Friend will back you up when your bullies come calling. A Fake friend will either disappear, stay silent, or join your bullies.
A real friend won’t be afraid to stand up for you. She’ll either smart-mouth your bullies or even fight them if she must. Understand that real friends are like brothers and sisters. They protect one another.
On the other hand, a fake friend is a weak little coward. They’ll never speak in your behalf nor will they fight for you if a situation calls for it. In fact, they don’t think enough of you to be in your corner.
Therefore, it’s time to stop having anything more to do with this person because they’re a waste of your time and aren’t worth knowing.
Understand that real friends are assets, whereas, fake friends are liabilities.
2. Real Friends vs Fake Friends
A real friend would never do anything behind your back. A fake friend, however, will pull all sorts of shady stuff when you aren’t around to see it.
For example, years ago, most of the classmates had droves of friends. However, they didn’t appreciate them.
I watched as the cliquey girls would horn in on their best friends’ boyfriends. Moreover, they would talk about them behind their backs. The popular crowd were the worst for this.
Therefore, realize that just because a person has a truckload of friends doesn’t mean they’re better off then you. Many people in the cliquey crowd have friends who are a bunch of vipers. Therefore, you’re better off alone then with creeps like those!
I can tell you that when I saw all this for myself, I wanted no part of “the cool kids” because they really weren’t that cool. Realize that many people are snakes and friends are only a convenience or status symbol to them
A real friend respects your boundaries. Therefore, they will avoid your partner if they have to. They know that some things are sacred and relationships and friendships are two of them.
Moreover, a real friend would never talk bad about you behind your back. In fact, they won’t allow anyone else to do it either and will stand up to any gossip who slanders you in their presence.
In contrast, a fake friend will try to hook up with your partner and talk smack about you when you’re not around. Also, they will either stay silent or join in if they hear gossip and lies about you.
Therefore, ditch and switch, baby! Real friends enhance your life. But fake friends only diminish it.
3. Real friends vs fake friends
Real friends are happy for you when you succeed, whereas, fake friends are jealous and will try to one-up you.
True friends will cheer for you anytime you win at something. They’ll celebrate your wins with you and brag on you to other people, even when you aren’t around to hear it.
Moreover, your true buddies will be happy that you have good social success because they’ll want nothing but your best.
Not so with fake friends. These people will feel jealous and resentful of you because of your good fortune.
If they’re jealous of your relationships and social fortune, many of your fake friends will stab you in the back. They’ll spread rumors and lies about you to defame you and turn others against you.
Moreover, they’ll try to break up your romantic relationships if they’re jealous of your potential to attract partners. These so-called friends will also try to come between you if they’re trying to hook up with your partner.
Also, they may try to sabotage you on the job or with a project you’re working on because they can’t stand the thought of you winning at something. Therefore, these people are a hindrance and you must give them the boot. Fast!
4. Real Friends VS Fake Friends:
Real Friends Respect Your Differences While Fake Friends Resent them.
True friends encourage you to be yourself and to stand up for yourself when someone disrespects you. Moreover, they like it when you stand in your truth.
And they’ll never turn their back on you or get hateful toward you for those differences.
True friends will allow and even encourage you to be yourself, speak your truth, and stand behind it. They wouldn’t want you to be fake for the sake of pleasing others.
Also, real friends like to hear your opinions and they accept your beliefs and convictions. They may not necessarily agree with you, but they’ll always respect your opinions. In other words, they’ll accept that you’re a different person with your own set of values.
On the other hand, fake friends will only resent you for all of it. Moreover, they’re likely to show their true colors anytime you’re show authenticity and have any differences of thought.
Sadly, you may be shocked and dismayed when the monster finally shows its face. For example, you may say something totally innocent, but something the fake friends doesn’t like.
Suddenly, the mask falls off and you find out the hard way that this person isn’t a friend at all. The fake friend then turns their back and becomes an enemy. They may even bully you like your bullies do.
Real Friends VS Fake Friends:
Here’s when fake friends show their true colors:
1. When you stand up for yourself.
2. When you’re not afraid to be yourself.
3. When you speak your truth and stand on it.
4. When you let your opinions, beliefs, and convictions be known.
5. When you call them or someone they like out on their bullshit.
Understand that if a person who claims to be your friend doesn’t allow you to be yourself. In other words, if they don’t let you to speak your mind, or show your emotions, that person is not a friend.
Therefore, you should re-evaluate that friendship and give this person the old heave ho.
Real Friends vs Fake Friends: How do you spot potential frauds?
1. Observe the people around you. Watch how they treat their friends behind their backs.
You watch people without looking like you’re watching, of course. Use your peripheral vision to scan them and your environment, and you’ll quickly pick up on the moods and sense the elephant in the room (if there is one).
If you’re in a group and you see your friends talking about their other friends behind their backs while sucking up to their faces, you can bet they will do the same to you. And if you think they won’t, you’re only fooling yourself.
Also, if there seems to be a lot of drama around these friends, you might want to think about ditching these chicks. Then you’ll want to select friends who are saner and more level-headed.
Understand that friends such as these are bad for your self-esteem. Also, it’s a reason that, once most people graduate high school, they could care less if they ever see their schoolmates again.
Therefore, pay close attention to your friends and how they act. Notice how they behave when their friends aren’t around and how they carry themselves. Also, note any negative body language and microaggressions.
2. Look for body language that isn’t congruent with words and context
Actions speak louder than words. If their body language isn’t congruent with words, background, or the situation and shows even a hint of hostility and discomfort when they’re around you, then “Houston, we have a problem.”
3. Real Friends vs fake friends:
Watch for micro flashes
If you’re not careful, you’re likely to miss those tiny, split-second micro flashes of contempt people give without realizing it. Also, they may do it when they think you aren’t aware of it.
There are good actors; don’t get me wrong, but there are certain things the body gives away involuntarily, and if you look for it, you’ll see it.
For example, when you’re around fake friends, sometimes, as you turn your back, you’ll see, out of the corner of your eye, tiny micro flashes of contempt on their faces.
Next, you’ll get that nagging feeling in the pit of your gut. Don’t ignore that because you’re not imagining things! Eighty-six these creeps fast!
4. Notice the person’s feet
You can tell a lot by the feet.
Therefore, if the person is talking to you and facing you, but their feet are pointing away from you, that means they aren’t as “with you” as you think.
So, use your feet and put some distance between you and this person.
5. Real Friends vs Fake Friends:
Watch for crossed arms while talking to the person.
If you’re having a conversation with the person and they cross their arms over their chest, that’s a dead giveaway! They’re exhibiting closed body language.
In other words, they’re closing themselves off to anything you have to say. It’s time to make an excuse to end the tete-a-tete and walk away. You don’t want this person around you.
6. Beware if someone is looking at you without blinking
This person will have that icy, piercing stare. If they do this, it’s a sure sign of contempt, or they’re trying to intimidate you. Either way, this person is not the person you want to be around.
Be sure to mirror the person’s glare. In other words, look back and them the exact same way and keep staring at them until they look away. This will let them know that you aren’t intimidated and that you don’t like them either.
Also, watch for the furrowed brow and one corner of the lip slightly raised along with the death glare.
Smiling at you with their mouth but not the eyes (no crinkles around the eyes) is also a red flag.
Again, regard these people with caution and suspicion.
7. Also take note if they look at you, then look at each other when you walk away.
Again, these people are a waste and you should see them as such.
This post was all about real friends vs fake friends so that you can tell the difference and avoid drama down the road.
Related posts you’ll enjoy:
1. How Does Bullying Affect the Victim’s Friendships?
2. Fake Friends: 13 Surefire Signs They Don’t Like You for You
3. Choose Your Friends Wisely: 9 Criteria to Judge by
5. How to Spot Fake Friends: 7 Proven Tricks to Instantly Out Them