Babies are so adorable! They have that charm and innocence that no other age group has. They don’t worry about what others think of them and they never try to impress others. These little darlings display sweetness, purity, complete authenticity, and hearts of gold.
Babies have not a care in the world what people think of them. They have no inhibitions whatsoever. They’re not afraid to cry and express their wants and needs. You can see it in the way little toddlers shamelessly coo, laugh, babble, skip, run, and dance. And they’ll do it in front of anyone. These little sweeties are fearless. They’re not afraid to show their emotions, express their thoughts, show their creativity.
Furthermore, their precious little souls are completely open. They give, share, and receive love with an open and grateful heart. They love being loved and doted on and will receive it with a soft coo or laugh.
Everything starts with self-love and babies are a perfect example of it.
Sadly, as time passes and these babies grow bigger, they slowly and incrementally become tainted by the ways of people and the world. Many grow up in toxic environments and with parents who excessively criticize and abuse them.
Therefore, they build a protective wall around themselves to try and keep the contamination out. Because family members and others discount, ridicule, even punish them for their feelings, they learn to mask those feelings. They collect emotional baggage as they become preschoolers, school-aged kids, then teenagers, and finally, adults.
Also, many are raised by drug-addicted, mentally ill, and neglectful adults and they build walls to protect themselves from that as well. Therefore, many must learn to raise themselves.
Low self-esteem and lack of confidence are not the characteristics we’re born with. They’re instilled in us by either by well-meaning family members who wish to keep us humble and sweet, or they’re force-fed to us by bullies and abusers.
Consequently, many babies grow into people who are under the false belief that they are unlovable. They don’t feel they deserve to have their wants and needs met. Thus, they grow into people who are filled with either anger and self-loathing, or sad, depressed, helpless victims.
Life Has Ways of Eroding That Confidence and Goodness We Were Born With.
We all go through these terrible changes, even those who aren’t bullied. Only few people in this world manage to keep that confidence and joy they were born with. Furthermore, life’s disappointments, hurts, and heartaches have ways of doing these things to all of us. However, people who are bullied and abused suffer the worst changes.
They stop expressing emotions and give up asking for anything. Why? Because sometime during their childhoods, they were conditioned by other people. These others conditioned them to think that they’re self-centered and wrong for ever needing or wanting anything out of life.
Therefore, they resign themselves to the attitude that, things are “just the way they are” and that there’s nothing they can do to change anything.
Consequently, when you tell them about self-love and how important it is, they wince at the idea because it makes them uncomfortable. But, again, other people program them to think that self-love is somehow self-absorbed and evil. I can relate to this because, when I was thirteen and fourteen years old, I did the exact same when I was first told about the idea of self-love and self-care.
The thought of looking at myself in the mirror every day and telling myself “I love you” or “You’re beautiful,” “You’re Smart,” “You’re awesome,” etc., felt both weird. In fact, it felt downright sickening because I was under the impression that it was all a sign of sheer vanity.
It’s Sad When People Can Successfully Condition You to Believe that Self-love is Vanity
Self-love can feel downright painful after you’ve wasted years and decades hating and degrading yourself. After all, it’s not something you’re accustomed to practicing. Anything new and out of the ordinary feels painful at first. Like all things, it must first become a habit. And it can only become habit through rigorous learning and practice.
‘You see? My bullies and a few abusive others sold me on the idea that any form of self-care or self-love was abhorrent and self-serving. I was under the misguided belief that self-degradation and self-criticism was a virtue. It was a sign of being humble and meek. Therefore, I thought that was what normal people did, as I watched a few family members do the same thing.
Some of my family members still do this at times and it breaks my heart. If only they could see, I mean, truly see their value. . In my eyes, their worth is more than that of gold.
The truth is that self-hatred is the equivalent of having a millstone hung from your neck. You drag it around everywhere you go because it’s exhausting. Therefore, it zaps your energy. It takes the magic, wonder, and excitement from your life. And it keeps you stuck and worse, invites more disrespect and abuse from others.
Self-love doesn’t equal Vanity, It equals Virtue!
Self-love can only come from within, never from without. It doesn’t come from a partner, a spouse, or a boatload of friends. It can’t come from a banging body or fancy clothes, hairdos, or makeup. Money can’t buy self-love. Power doesn’t give it to you and neither does prestige. Self-love comes from the heart and only the heart.
Additionally, self-love is about self-acceptance and being perfectly okay with your imperfections. It comes from being comfortable in your own skin and not caring even the slightest what others think or say of you.
In order to find peace and joy in life, self-love is a must-have. It helps you to achieve your goals and realize your dreams and aspirations. It determines your outcomes- whether you succeed or fail. Also, it helps you to better re-frame bad situations and see them as learning experiences. Self-esteem and self-love give you peace of mind.
In a nutshell, self-love gives you complete freedom! It is the key to happiness and joy!
Don’t you think you deserve to be at peace with yourself? Don’t you think you deserve happiness and joy? I do.
So, be like a baby. Love yourself. Know that your true colors are vibrant and never be afraid to show them. Dance like you’ve never been ridiculed. And play like you’ve never fallen and scraped your knee. Express your emotions. Love, laugh, and live.
You’ll be surprised at how everything will change for the better! I promise!
With knowledge comes empowerment!
19 thoughts on “What Babies Can Teach Us About Confidence”
I have always felt this too. Sad how we loose our purity and happiness with all the toxicities that come with society and the world of adults.
Absolutely, Shanti! 💯 It is sad. In the song “The Way of the World” by Earth Wind & Fire, I remember one of the verses as this,
“A child is born
With a heart of gold
The way of the world
Turns his heart so cold…”
Thank you so much for your very truthful comment.
Thank you so much, Goddess! 💖
Self-love = self-respect ❤️
You got that right, Ranjana! 💯👍
Self-love is not vanity. It doesn’t make sense that God and others love you but you don’t love yourself or feel it’s wrong to love yourself. Taking care of your body, your mind and your wellbeing are all expressions of self-love.
That’s totally right! 💯 👍 You are a person too and God commands us to love everyone, including ourselves. And to love others as yourself. ❤️
A very excellent and thought provoking post, Cherie.
Thank you so much, Michael! 🤗
You’re welcome Cherie and I have just written the post inspired by “Townies, Cronies and Hayseeds II.”
Thank you so much, Michael! I’ll go to it now!
Thank you so much, Rancy! This means a lot! 💖🌺
I love this – it rings so true to me. Watching my little ones dance like nothing else matters is just perfect and we need to be more like that. Forget the other mums in the playground, if your child asks you to dance you dance!
That’s absolutely correct! Your comment really touched my heart! Watching your child dance around and especially dancing with your child are the most precious moments! 💖
I read the whole thing. It’s not that long but it felt like an eternity. While reading, my heart was aching so bad. The pain inside about being unable to touch the love is making me wither slowly. I know the importance of self-love, and I’m walking through the road of change blindly.
I haven’t sensed how hard it was to love yourself until two months ago. I haven’t noticed all the pain I’m going through because of this until recently. You said that I should be a baby, to love and laugh and live again, but this is so hard.
With a ton of responsibilities, self-loathing, and helplessness, it becomes so hard to be as carefree as a baby.
On the bright side, part of me still wants to pursue this journey and achieve the goal of self-love. I want to be happy too, and I hope I can someday.
Thank you for the post, it hits hard in a good way.
You’re most welcome! Know that my heart hurts for you, I’m thinking of you, and I’m sending you many hugs, sweetie! 🤗🤗🤗 The pain you’re going through is a place I was in once upon a time and it’s not easy to achieve the self-love and confidence described in this post. Again, you’re in my thoughts and I’m sending you lots of love! 💖💐🌹Know that I’m hear if you need a friend.