Month: August 2022

A New Perspective on Betrayal

Leave a comment

Targets of Bullying are most susceptible to betrayal by those who masquerade as friends. The reason for this is that they long for friendship so much so that they attract abusers and users who will only exploit this longing to achieve their own ends. However, at different times in our lives, we’ve all experienced betrayal. Someone we thought was a friend did the unthinkable. And, when it happens, it’s like being kicked in the stomach.

It hurts much worse when you’re screwed over by a friend because you trusted this person. You may have even loved them. This is something you expect from an enemy, but never a friend. Therefore, when an enemy strikes against us, it’s much easier to deal with. However, when it’s someone we trusted and thought highly of, the pain is much worse. In fact, it can be devastating.

Therefore, once you’ve been betrayed, it can be hard to trust anyone else who comes into our lives, even those who may be sincere. When we meet new people thereafter, we proceed with caution and regard others with suspicion. This isn’t good either.

Why? Because, when we allow a past betrayal to cause us not to trust, we only push away those who may be sincere. We, in essence, give the creep who betrayed us power over our future relationships.

Sadly, I went through a phase during my twenties when I too was suspicious of everyone. I thought they all had ulterior motives and kept them at arm’s length. I let the fear of being hurt cause me to push others away and as a result, my relationships suffered.

Don’t Give The Person Who Betrayed You Power over Future Relationships

However, I’ve since realized that, with each person we meet and each new friend we make comes a degree of risk. Everything comes with a certain amount of risk and here’s no getting around it. And you either take the risk or you end up miserable and lonely.

Everything we do comes with risk, whether it’s going for a walk or driving to the supermarket. But you wouldn’t stop driving because of the chance of having an automobile accident. So, why would you refuse to meet and make friends because of the chance of being betrayed?

Again, life’s full of risks and you can’t allow fear to stop you from living. You must live life and you must live it to the fullest!

With Every New Person You Meet Comes a Degree of Risk

Therefore, I refuse to allow some lowlife from my past to cause distrust in humanity. Hell, no! I believe in giving the new people I meet a chance and not making them pay a debt they don’t owe. If they blow that chance, then that’s on them, and they would only reveal their true colors.

In closing, you must know that anytime you’re betrayed, the best you can do is to drop the person and move on to someone who’s deserving of your time. Understand that your time and you company are valuable. And you shouldn’t waste it with some chump who doesn’t deserve the privilege of being in your life. So, ditch and switch, baby!

But, whatever you do, don’t let betrayal cause you to distrust humanity and shut new people out! That’s a recipe for misery!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

The Degraded, The Demonized, and The Damned

Leave a comment

 

People hate it if you’re too confident, too independent, and too free. God, forbid you get too self-assured and have too much self-belief.

Society tends to punish you for those qualities. ‘You see? In this life, the world expects everyone to conform and to stay in their assigned places. Many people have invisible shackles and chains and are expected to keep them on.

If you dare to break those chain, God help you. The world will punish you. They will label you different, weird, a difficult person, and/or a rabble rouser.

However, do you really want to follow the crowd or follow your heart? Would you rather fit in or stand out?

Know that you can never achieve greatness by fitting in. Make a choice.

Realize that today’s great are yesterday’s demonized. And today’s demonized are tomorrow’s great.

Be yourself. Dare to be different. Have your own set of values and convictions. Own everything that is you, no matter how unique!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullying for Increased Social Status

3 Comments

Bullying is not only used to maintain power and control over the target. It is also used as a vehicle to achieve higher social status. And sadly, it works like a charm. The reason it works so well is that the social status of the bully is increased, while that of the target is reduced.

For many people, having the respect and admiration of their peers is of more value to their sense of self-worth than money and material wealth. Although one can achieve elevated social status through wealth and material things, it can also be attainable though bullying if the bully doesn’t have the former. On the other hand, if the bully does have money and material wealth, the social status he gets from bullying is just icing on the cake.

In other words, it’s not something he feels he must do. It’s something he wants to do because he thinks it’s fun.

A Zero Sum Game

A selfish man walks the heads of people as on the steps to the highest post behind the crown. Conceptual scene is a narcissistic and selfish person

But most bullies don’t have a lot of money. And these are the types who achieve social status through exploitation of other mistakes, flaws, and shortcomings.

Bullying is not a healthy way to achieve social status. A healthy way of increasing one’s social ranking requires some type of achievement, such as joining a positive movement or donating to a charity. However, one tiny mistake can instantly tarnish one’s reputation and all the good they’ve done.

The world is, sadly, quick to blame a person for any negative qualities or actions while slow to forgive or to give credit for good deeds. And bullies instinctively know this and take full advantage of it.

The only way they can excel up the social hierarchy is by demeaning others. And they do it by taking the tiniest mistake you make, adding to it, and blowing it up to decrease your social ranking.

The Only Way for Most Bullies to Have Power

Bullying, friendship and people concept. Girl patronizing screaming pointing finger at shy timid nerdy woman who is looking down

In doing this, bullies garner support from others who are just like them and who share the same values. After all, bullying is most effective in group situations, where people unite to serve a certain objective. Bullies never work alone. They always have people backing them.

Group bullying not only gives talentless bullies a sense of belonging, but it also tightens the bonds among members of the group. Furthermore, this collective bullying gives them not only anonymity, but also makes them more successful in bringing the target down than if the bullies worked alone.

Another advantage to group bullying is the mob mentality it produces. It’s a dark part of human nature that people conform and imitate the behaviors of other members of the group. Therefore, in groups, bullies have much more impact and can make a much bigger impact.

Bullies Never Work Alone, They’re Too Cowardly

However, understand that people who rely on their ability to bully others out of existence to achieve social gain can never achieve it any other way.

These types of people are the talentless, the lazy, and the incompetent. They have no redeemable qualities, no personalities, and no real intelligence. You must see these bullies exactly as they are- empty suits with zero substance. And, once you see them clearly, your confidence won’t take such a big hit when they come for you.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Bullying and Selective Outrage

Leave a comment

A bully’s outrage is always selective. Where there’s bullying, there’s usually a phenomenon called “selective outrage.” So, what is selective outrage?

It’s when people become outraged over something the targeted person says or does but ignores or approves when anyone else says or does the same or worse.

Here’s a perfect example of selective outrage:

For years, bullies repeatedly and viciously attack a target both physically and psychologically and no one says a word. The target finally gets fed up and beats the crap out of the bullies in self-defense. Now, suddenly, everyone is outraged and wants to punish the target for having the gall to defend themselves.

You see it all the time. It’s not about the deed itself, it’s about who’s doing the deed. Bullies will berate that target for things others get away with. This only goes to prove that they really don’t care about the (perceived) wrongdoing, slight, or sin. Bullies only want to feel like they’re better than someone else. So they take the “moral high ground” and shame the target for something they would approve of if it came from anyone else.

Here’s another example:

The target tells a legitimately funny joke and that supposedly offends and outrages the bullies. Then, sometime later, someone else tells the exact same joke and the exact same bullies who grew outraged at the target only burst into laughter and slap the joker on the back, telling the second person what a “good joke” it was.

It’s not About the Deed Itself, It’s About The Person Who’s Doing The Deed

Therefore, if they really cared about a wrong or inappropriate action or statement, they would be against it one hundred percent, across the board. In other words, if it’s wrong for one person or group to say or do, then it’s wrong for everyone. Otherwise, they’re only holding one person or group to a double standard. To sum it up, it’s blatant hypocrisy.

Understand that people who can’t have a good time themselves want another person to be as miserable as they are. Again, it’s not about the joke itself. It’s about who the person is who’s telling the joke. Therefore, bullies and their sheepy followers and conformers make who the person is the determiner of whether they should be offended and outraged.

Stop and think about it for a moment. Selective outrage is something you often see at ball games. When the home team cheats or bends the rules, people ignore or even justify it. However, when the opposing team does it, people suddenly become outraged and want to punish the opponents.

The sooner you see this hypocrisy for what it is, the better you’ll be able to expose it and weaponize it. You will be better able to stand up to this madness and come out of it with minimal damage to your psyche.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

Why Should You Care About Pleasing Bullies?

Leave a comment

Portrait of indifferent person shrugging her shoulders wearing yellow, turtleneck denim jeans overalls isolated purple violet background

Most bullies, unless they’re your boss or any member of authority, have no bearing on our lives. So, why should we care what they think? Why? Remember that your bullies hate you. Therefore, nothing you do, good or bad, will ever be right by them. In their minds, you are inherently bad because you are you. So, why do you care what they think?

Anytime you care what your bullies think, you give away your power. Once you begin conforming and twisting yourself into a pretzel to get them to accept you, they become your masters. You, in a sense, give your bullies undue value. In other words, you give your bullies value they never deserved and more so, haven’t earned!

Undue Value and Worth

Indifferent.

Basic human value is one thing. Every human being on earth in entitled to basic human value. However, anything above that, they must earn. It’s not freely given and never should be.

Never give your bullies anything they haven’t earned from you. And that includes your respect, your time, your friendship, and your consideration.

In short, never give anyone anything that isn’t reciprocated. For instance, if you’re polite to someone and they take that for weakness and treat you like dirt, then you should drop this person like a bad habit!

You don’t have to treat them like crap, but you don’t have to have anymore to do with them either. Again, you shouldn’t care about trying to please people who judge you and who hate you, because it’s a waste of time.

They Must Earn It!

Here’s something else: Anytime you get upset or angry when people insult you or have an unfavorable opinion of you, it means you unconsciously value their opinions. It means that what they think means something to you.

So, stop trying to seek approval from these people. Cease trying to be friends with them. Stop wasting so much for your precious energy on people who aren’t worth your consideration.

Remember, they hate you. And to bend over backwards trying to prove yourself to them and get their approval is a waste of your time and energy. They’re just aren’t worth it.

With knowledge comes empowerment!