Conditioning happens when others brainwash and train you to believe something. Therefore, evil and terrible abuses get “normalized.” When you’re a target of bullying, bullies will try to condition you to roll over and take their abuse.
Conditioning doesn’t happen overnight. It’s a slow, incremental, bit-by-tiny-bit process that can also be soft and subtle. So, how do you know your bullies have conditioned you?
You know by the feelings you have.
1. If you feel guilty for speaking out and reporting bullying to authority, your bullies have conditioned you.
2. When you feel that the bullying is your fault, your bullies have conditioned you.
3. Anytime you feel like a mean and cruel person for standing up for yourself, your bullies have conditioned you.
4. If you feel guilty about saying no to anyone, your bullies have conditioned you.
Are you angry yet?
What are the statements bullies use to condition you? And what do those statements condition you to think and feel? Let’s find out:
1.“Bullying is a rite of passage that everyone goes through.”
This statement conditions you to believe that bullying is normal. But it’s anything but! Bullying is sick, perverse, and damaging to the target. So, say, “Oh no, it’s not!” And be very firm when you say it.
2.“You ‘made me’ hit you!”
This statement conditions you to believe that bully’s despicable behavior is your fault- that you somehow caused the bully to get out of line and that you deserved what you got. Again, this is a blatant lie!
No one deserves bullying and abuse. You have a right to feel and be safe. Therefore, you counter the bully’s statement by saying, “No, I did not!” And say it with full conviction!
3.“You had it coming!”
“You asked for it!”
“You bring it all on yourself!”
Again, these statements condition you to believe that you’re to blame for the bullies’ horrid behavior.
They hoodwink you into thinking their evil actions are your fault, and that you deserved it. NOT true! Remember that bullying is abuse, and no one deserves it. Say, “No, I didn’t!” or “No, I don’t, and you know it!” Be stern!
4. “You’re always trying to start something!”
“You’re always making waves.”
“Don’t rock the boat!”
“You’re always making trouble!”
“You just keep pushing it!”
“Don’t push it!”
Again, these are lies and ways to deceive you into silence.
Don’t’ fall for it. Counter the bully’s claims and always, always do it with a tone of conviction.
5. You’ll also be accused of:
“Making a mountain out of a molehill!”
“Making something out of nothing!”
“Acting like a crybaby!”
“Being a liar!”
“Not knowing what you’re talking about!”
All lies. Counter with “No, I’m not!” or “I know exactly what I’m talking about! I know what you’re trying to do, and I won’t accept it!”
Understand that you’ll hear these statements anytime you attempt to set boundaries and stand up to bullying and abuse. Realize that bullies hate it when you stand against them. Most would cut off their right arm before they’d ever admit to any wrongdoing.
Don’t let it deter you. Keep standing up. Continue defending yourself. Don’t stop taking care of yourself. Because, if you don’t, no one else will either. Therefore, all you have is you. In a situation of bullying, all you have is your voice. Use it! Don’t lose it!
But realize that if the bullies resist (and they more than likely will). If they don’t respect your commands for them to stop the abuse, it isn’t your fault nor your responsibility.
It isn’t because you weren’t firm enough. And don’t think it was because you aren’t any good at standing up for or defending yourself. It’s because your bullies are a bunch of pathetic, self-entitled turds. Realize that bullies are abusers. Therefore, abusers expect the rest of the world should bow down and kiss their asses. Nothing more.
Don’t fall for their power plays. Stand up, stand tall, and stand firm no matter what.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
0 thoughts on “4 Signs You’re Being Conditioned”
Thank you so much, Molly! 💖
Thank you Cherie for your articles. C’est un vrai bonheur pour moi d’avoir découvert ton blog. Il est vraiment inspirant 🌷. Merci pour ton partage.
You’re most welcome! 💖💐🌹🌞 Have a beautiful weekend! 🌞🌞🌞
Cherie, another fantastic post which speaks directly to me.
Thank you so much, Michael! 😊😊😊
Thanks for sharing this post, Cherie. I can relate to it so much. Although I wish I had this knowledge and courage when I was younger and definitely being bullied, it was more than that. I was also being badly abused by an adult. I was 8-12 at the time. Therefore, it wasn’t possible or easy to stand up for myself in those situations. However, having come a long way and learned an awful lot, I’m now learning to say “no” and not allow these things to happen anymore. I know that I would not fall into the same trap again as the adult that I now am. Thanks again, Cherie. Xx 💙🌼❤
You’re most welcome! 💖 I’m so sorry they treated you so terribly, Ellie. I too wish that I had known more earlier in life. But know that you were an innocent child going through a bad thing and children haven’t yet developed the concrete thinking skills nor the processing abilities to handle such abuse and bullying. And this is exactly why it’s so damaging during those formative years. Know that you’ve got thos and that we’ve got your back. 💖🌹💐🦋💞🤗
Thank you Lady there are so many of us that have had to live our lives with this it is always good to know that you are there just wish I had known you were there early on in my life because you sure have made a difference in it every sense you have become a part of it
Thank you so much for being here when I need you love you more than you know!
Thank you so much, Blake! 😊 Sending lots of well-wishes your way!