One of the saddest things about bullying is the confusion it often brings. Many targets of bullying are confused and misled as to whether or not they are legitimately being bullied or only being paranoid.
Oftentimes, when an individual is bullied and they defend themselves, others may gaslight the person by either trivializing the bullying or dismissing it. They tell the target that “it’s only in your mind” or “you’re just being paranoid”. Half the time, people convince the target of the above statements, which only forces him to endure the torment in silence. Bullying cannot thrive without silence.
Therefore, the bully is let off the hook and is free to target the same individual again in the future. The bully gets the message loud and clear that it’s okay to target this person simply because they can – and with impunity.
After so long, the victim begins to feel as if it is somehow wrong to report and stand up to bullies. The victim then questions their own sanity, thinking, “Maybe it really is only in my mind.” and often grows silent for fear of being gaslighted and seen as “paranoid”, “crazy”, “overly sensitive” or other labels that undermine and steal their voice.
If you’re a target of these mind games, let me assure you: It’s NOT only in your imagination. You are not being overly sensitive. You are not being a wimp, wuss, crybaby, crazy or whatever else unsavory people may call you.
Always remember that bullies are very skilled and convincing liars. You always know when something does not feel good. Your brain and your gut always let you know when something isn’t right!
You can see it in the way certain people cut their eyes at you.
You can see and hear them talking through their teeth.
You can hear the short and cold tone in their voices.
You can feel, deep down in your gut, the nasty vibes they exude.
This is why you should always listen to your gut feeling because it is never wrong. Eighty-six those people, pronto!
Anyone who causes you to feel bad does not deserve the time of day from you. It does not matter if they are rich, smart, good looking, popular, successful, cool or tough.
If they cause you to feel less than, ditch them! Weed. Them. Out! They are not worthy of even being in your presence. Never allow anyone to violate your boundaries, whether physical or psychological.
Self awareness is key, as is awareness of everyone and everything around you. You must get to know yourself. Listen to your body and the sensations you feel.
It is imperative that you get absolutely clear on what you will and will not accept. Only then will you be able to tell the difference and send your bullies packing.
With knowledge comes empowerment!
Being sensitive is tantamount to having a keen intuition. It’s a superpower. Thanks for pointing this out,
You’re most welcome, Janet! 😊 And you’re right- it’s a superpower! 💖🌺🌷
really a great point to bring out Cherie and so true! 💖👏👏👏
Thank you so much, Cindy. 💕💕💕Too many people doubt their own feelings and it sets them up for future abuse.
Great information.
Thank you so much, Molly! 💖💖💖
Most thought provoking post.really you have put up a nice sensitive point.I admire your thoughts,dear Cheirie!!❤🙏❤
Thank you so much, Aruna!
Welcome,my amazing friend!!❤🙏❤
A warm welcome with heart.❤️🙏❤️
This can be hard to see when you’re in the specific situation and the mind is being tricked. Thanks for the reminder, I hope it will be writen in the brains for the times in need.
You’re absolutely right, Lampelina! It’s much harder to see when the gaslighting and bullying are happening. It’s often easier to see from the outside looking in. Thank you so much for your points here! 💯💯💯
i am he said
My co-workers bullied me back when I was in my twenties. I confronted them on it and I was told that I was paranoid. I was gullible and believed them and saw a psychiatrist who also thought I was paranoid. Some years later one of the co-workers spoke to me privately and said no, that it wasn’t in my head but not to tell anyone he said that. By then I was on meds. I have a mental illness but my biggest problem has been toxic people. Enough mistreatment I took disability and stayed on it.
My heart goes out to you, Ruby! I’m beginning to realize that none of us are born with a mental illness! Mental illnesses are caused…by toxic and abusive people! I may do a post on this later.
I grew up in an extended family where the bullying came in the form as “just teasing.” It was extremely traumatizing because the jokes were funny which made the hurt feel as if it was made up.
My heart goes out to you, Adrienne. Jokes that hurt are the wrong kind of jokes. 💔
Sometimes the victim are to scared to report because it will get worse. So what’s the best way to avoid being bullied..??
You must stand up to them or you can document the bullying in a journal to establish a pattern. Or, depending on the laws in your area, you can keep a recording devise or body cam hidden on you.
So well described, coz there are people who find it nothing wrong when they see others getting bullied and if you are about to raise voice they hush you in a way that you are wrong in your part. That is really harsh, so you have well said be aware of ourselves and our feelings too
Thank you so much! 💖 And thank you for shortening it and saying in so many words, “trust your feelings.”
My pleasure, you are right “trust your feelings “
Beautiful article ,it happens in our life but absolutely self awareness is a key which alart us very often. Well shared thanks 😊👍
You’re most welcome, Priti. 😊 And thank you for your support! ❤️
It’s my pleasure 😊 stay happy 😘
😊😊😊
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Yes, even when others think we’re “imagining things” or being “too sensitive”.
Exactly, Monika! 💯💯💯