21 Excuses Bullies Make to Justify Their Bullying

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The excuses bullies make for their rotten behavior are endless. Here are the most common excuses bullies make.

“Just because.”

“Because he’s annoying.”

“She brings it on herself.”

“I was only joking.”

“Because he’s a nerd.”

“Because she’s a loser.”

“Because he’s so stupid.”

“Because you deserve it.”

“Because you have a crooked nose (or funny ears, etc.).”

“Because he’s a wimp (wuss, geek, etc.).”

“Because she’s crazy (mentally unstable, cuckoo, loony, etc.)”

“Because he dresses weird.”

“Because he stinks (smells funny, etc.).”

“Because he needs to toughen up.”

“Because he’s black.”

“Because she’s white.”

“Because you have a big mouth.”

“Because he’s too skinny.”

“Because he has four-eyes (wears eye-glasses).

“Because she’s a metal-mouth (wears braces).

“You’re too different.”

I could go on and on! The excuses bullies make are endless. However, know that these so-called reasons have nothing to do with you if you’re a target of bullying. Understand that bullying is about power and the need to feel better than someone else. Your bullies are trying to meet their needs for validation or superiority in a hateful and hurtful manner.

When you’re being mistreated, it’s normal to want to figure out why. And the reason we want to know why it is so we can fix whatever’s wrong and make the bullying stop. But just because we correct whatever’s wrong doesn’t mean the bullying will go away, and most of the time, it doesn’t.

It only gets worse when you try to change yourself because people lose respect for you when you’re not yourself.

You may try to change yourself; you may hide, wear fancier clothes, even buy a new flashier car. But the truth is, there was never anything wrong with you in the first place. Understand that bullies target you not because there’s anything wrong with you or because you’ve done anything wrong. They’re only using you to meet their needs, and those needs are to feel better about themselves, feel powerful, superior, or better than you.

I even know adults- ADULTS, who should know better but are under the misguided impression that if people bully you, that you’re causing them to do so- that there’s something wrong with you, that there has to be something you’re not doing right, that you’re somehow annoying people and rubbing everyone the wrong way. No! This is a falsehood you should dismiss immediately!

Don’t accept it! Know in your heart that you did nothing wrong and that you’re great just the way you are! Here are things you can do to help your self-esteem and restore confidence.

Avoid these bullies like the plague.

Keep company with only those who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself.

Befriend other targets.

Do the things you enjoy and always show off your talents and gifts.

Do all of these, and your self-esteem will thank you for it!

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “21 Excuses Bullies Make to Justify Their Bullying

  1. Stella Reddy says:

    Thanks Cherie, it is working on me. I do things I enjoy, making new friends, and trying hard to stay away from those sites online. It takes time, but it does work!

  2. Arun Singha says:

    1) Keep company with only those who uplift you and make you feel good about yourself………….Doing
    2)Do the things you enjoy and always show off your talents and gifts……………Doing

    For me only one bully giving trouble since long[37 yrs]…………………..Can not escape. Can not break
    But I believe, your guidance will work.
    With knowledge power will come.

      • Arun Singha says:

        When I am happy, my bully is angry and becomes violent, when people praise me for all good works while I was in job or even now when I am in the path of enlightenment.
        I am thankful for your support.

        • cheriewhite says:

          You’re very welcome, Arun. Your bully is jealous of you because he feels that you’re hogging all the glory. Bullies crave attention and admiration and anytime you’re happy and getting praised, you force your bully to see his own inadequacies and mediocrity. So, he acts out of jealousy and insecurity. Remember that bullies like to be the center of attention and admiration. They like to be number one best. And when their targets get praised, it raises insecurity in bullies and makes them feel like they’re less than. So, find a way to use that as your leverage and your weapon against him to protect yourself.

  3. Liz says:

    Needing to know why – was my downfall. It doesn’t change things to understand and try and show compassion. Most bullies i have encountered don’t want compassion, because it threatens their perceived power. The most empowering action is to have self-compassion and keep setting boundaries and move forward. Once again, Cherie, you have an amazing blog here. Healing so many at different levels. Thank you!

    • cheriewhite says:

      You’re so welcome, Liz! And thank you for your uplifting and encouraging comment! You’re so right. Bullies don’t understand compassion because they don’t have it. The only thing they understand is power and subjugation. I’m so glad this is helping you and many others! Blessings to you, sweetie! 💕💕💕

    • Jen says:

      I second this. It is so easy to try and justify your actions to the bully, and to wrap your head around why they do what they do. Am guilty of that myself. I got to the point where I remember it is not worth the mental and physical energy wondering why person X did Y. As they say, “not my circus, not my monkeys” or as I say, “not my turn to watch them.”

  4. Kym Gordon Moore says:

    Because, because, because… 🙄 Child, they need to go somewhere and sit down….oh, and shut the front door up! Get my drift? The more you listen to their blabbering, the less you hear your powerful voice, and to be the best YOU in spite of a bully’s ignorance! Booyah! 🎤 Drop it like it’s hot!!! 🔥🌞🔥 Put some earplugs in and keep moving! 👂🏻🎧👂🏻

  5. 80smetalman says:

    While I was never bullied in the traditional sense when I came out of the service, I did catch a lot of crap off people for my choices of hair style and footwear. There were people who said that if I cut my hair and wore different shoes, then I wouldn’t catch so much of it. Thing was, I was the one who gave four years of my life to my country and wasn’t going to be dictated to by a bunch of young punks just out of high school. Your post made me feel much better, thank you.

  6. Ben says:

    Have you ever bullied yourself in a mirror Just look at yourself in the mirror and tell yourself what to do you know just say all kinds of things to yourself forcing yourself to obey the commands of yourself fool full, full self reliant Say to yourself I’m the best human I’m the best human I can be today No joke so vester 🙂

    • cheriewhite says:

      I can’t say that I’ve bullied myself in the mirror. But I have looked in the mirror and made affirmations- “Today’s going to be a great day,” “I can do this,” “I’m beautiful,” “I’m smart,” – positive affirmations. You’d be surprised at how well that works.

  7. HotelBastard says:

    Bullies are self justifiably hyperventilating on just about anyone, in a self ordered manor in order to make themselves appear beautiful & stunning.
    Unfortunately it hurts individuals, and is one of the causes of mental illness with others.

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