You Can’t Be a People-Pleaser and Be Happy at The Same Time

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The road to happiness starts with being yourself. That means being true to your feelings, beliefs, opinions, convictions, and tastes. It also means making your own decisions and living life on your own terms. Otherwise, you’ll never be happy.

Anytime you try to fit in and be liked, you suppress yourself and your own needs and desires. You bury your true nature and stuff down your true emotions and become a robot!

You’ll jump through hoops to win the approval of others- you’ll comform to impossible expectations, put up with shabby treatment, and run yourself ragged putting everyone else’s needs before your own. In essence, you consistently shape-shift until you bend yourself in a pretzel!

To put it bluntly, you kiss arse, eat sh*t, lick boots, and become everybody’s stooge. And for what? Just to be liked?

Businessman with wind up key on his back sitting on chair and using laptop computer on city background. Manipulation concept

Forget that!

Sadly,  today’s culture dictates that you be who others, especially those in power, want you to be rather than who you are. In today’s society, to be natural equals being anti-social. It means to risk being an outcast and that’s scary for many because most people have been programmed to suppress their true selves in order to fit in and be liked and it’s the same people who expect you to follow suit.

These people think that life and the world is one big popularity contest and it isn’t. This is why we have so many who are depressed because bullies and abusers have prevented them from expressing their true emotions, their true nature, and therefore, from being their true, authentic selves.

Understand that society has programmed the majority of us to adopt values and beliefs we don’t really hold, follow social rules we really don’t agree with, and basically hate who we really are. So, we hide behind a mask of fakery.

But! Sooner or later, that mask will slip off, as it is surely bound to do. Then what?

The reality is that no one can put on an act forever- eventually our true nature begins to seep through. Then what happens?

People then see us for the frauds we were and we get shunned and ridiculed anyway. The very thing we fear and have been running from finally catches up with us.

So, why not be yourself from the start? We may be ridiculed for it but, at least, we won’t be so because we were found to be fake and living a lie. If I’m going to be made fun of anyway, I’ll be so for being me and living my truth. And I’ll do it free of depression and excess stress.

Sadly, this is something most don’t think about, which is why so many people instead hide behind a fake facade.

For example, many seek approval by showing off, doing dangerous stunts to impress an audience and end up getting seriously hurt.

If you’ve ever watched the TV show, “World’s Dumbest Partiers,” you then know what I’m talking about.

Do you remember several years back, when people were filming themselves on YouTube, Facebook, and other apps, eating Tide Pods, or participating in The Knock-Out Game? These are other examples.

It’s pathetic the lengths people will go to get attention and win the admiration of others- even people they don’t know or even like!

Realize that you don’t have to go to these extremes to be well thought of. And the people who do are only insecure wusses who’s only life purpose is to get attention and be thought of as cool.

What isn’t so cool is the many injuries and trips to the emergency room- the broken bones, the paralysis, and the deaths that result from this stupidity.

Think about this: If you end up in a wheelchair for the rest of your life because you did something stupid while trying to prove something, do you really think these so-called friends and admirers will continue to stick around?

How cool and admired will you be if you end up permanently disabled to such an extent that you can’t even go to the bathroom on your own, or worse- wipe your own behind?

Its sad that people continue to engage in risky behaviors to get the psychological benefits of attention, approval, and admiration. And they do it because they feel empty inside and are trying to fill a void.

Trying to please or impress others gets you nowhere because to do so means that you must ignore yourself and put your own wants and needs on the back burner. In many cases, it means putting your health and even your life in peril. All because you’re living a lie.

Bullies often called me chicken when I’d refuse them any time they told me to do something that had the potential to cause me injury. But I’d rather be a chicken than a turkey. And my refusal only ensured my safety.

Understand that you don’t have to do any of these things to be liked or considered cool. And if others can’t accept you as you are, then perhaps you’re keeping the wrong company and need to find better people- people who celebrate you as the unique, awesome, incredible, and amazing person you truly are.

Be yourself. Moreover, just be.

Know that you’re enough. Better yet, you’re awesome just the way you are. Accept yourself. Believe in yourself. Love yourself and all your quirks and imperfections, for we all have them.

With knowledge comes empowerment!

0 thoughts on “You Can’t Be a People-Pleaser and Be Happy at The Same Time

  1. rebecca s revels says:

    Back when I worked, I tried to fit in enough to get along. I felt fake so was uncomfortable which meant I didn’t fit. Slowly I am learning more to be me and be happy with me and hang the attitudes and judgement of others.

    • cheriewhite says:

      Sweetie, you’re making progress and that’s a great thing. And I did the same thing once upon a time- tried to fit in to get along and that fake feeling you get- the feeling of being a fraud- it’s real!

      I’m so proud of you, Rebecca. 💖 And making the change may feel awkward at first but I promise that, little by little, it will get easier and feel more and more natural.

      Have a wonderful New Year! 🕊❤

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