It’s because I don’t feel like I’m less than. Yes, my classmates called me the most horrible names in the English language. Yes, they physically beat, ridiculed, and smeared me. And yes, they destroyed my reputation. However, I’m still not a victim because their effects on me didn’t last.
I’m a survivor. In fact, I’m more than that- I’m a winner! Because they no longer have the power to make me feel that I’m less than human. No one has that power now. I’m not a victim because I don’t allow other people’s perceptions of me to determine how I feel about myself nor define me as a person. I know who I am, and I feel good about it.
My classmates may have taken my confidence away and at times, my physical well-being. But they could never take away my soul! They couldn’t take my integrity, my individuality, and my freedom of thought.
They couldn’t take any of the things that mattered!
Another reason I don’t feel like a victim is because I don’t feel any hate nor any desire to take revenge. My energy is better spent on my family, doing what I love to do, and working on my projects. I’m too busy doing me and mine. Understand that any time you hold hate and seek revenge over something that was done to you in the past, it comes from a victim mentality and from a place of feeling that you’re owed some form of satisfaction, restitution, or atonement. Unfortunately, life doesn’t work that way.
I want you to realize that a victim mentality is never good because it keeps you trapped in an abyss of hatred and misery. Anytime you have this mentality, you’re angry and depressed all the time. You feel like the world owes you. But what you don’t realize is that even if the world did give you what you feel you’re owed, you’d still never be happy and you’d only want more, more, and more.
It’s no way to live. I was there years ago and it’s a dark and ugly place.
I’m so glad that when I finally got tired of being unhappy and unfulfilled, my eyes were opened, and I changed my way of thinking.
So, how did I shed the victim-think?
1.By refusing to allow bullies from the past to take up space in my mind and by not wasting another drop of precious energy on people who were never worth it in the first place.
2. By accepting myself, flaws, quirks, and all. I finally decided that I was okay just the way God made me and that I needed no one else’s approval, least of all, the approval of backstabbers, fakes, and drama kings and queens who only pretended to be friends but weren’t out for my best interests.
3. I made it my mission to love and to take care of myself and the people who truly mattered. And that included weeding out toxic people who were only there to use me and to see me fail- those who didn’t belong in my life.
4. Lastly, I did it by focusing on the things that were important– I focused on God, family, my closest friends, and being the best version of me that I could possibly be instead of trying to please everyone and seek approval.
It’s okay to be angry and to take time out to feel those emotions when someone does you wrong. It’s natural to need time to heal. Just don’t set up shop and live in that yucky place for long. Because, if you stay there, it will ruin your life.
I can’t stress how important it is for you to rid yourself of victim-think. It’s the only way you’ll ever reach that beautiful place of self-acceptance and ultimately, peace and happiness. And once you do, it will be such sweet freedom!
You can do this! I’ve got faith in you!
0 thoughts on “4 Proven Ways to Shed Victim-Think: Why I’m No Longer a Victim”
I enjoyed reading this and
I appreciate your hard work!. I know You have an impressive grip on this topic!.
Thank you so much, Asif! I do enjoy it thoroughly! 😃🤗
I love this post so much. I recently experienced bullying in two places I never thought that would be allowed and at am age that I thought it couldn’t happen anymore. I thought bullying left in school! But, oh no. It’s in adulthood too. I had to come a point where I had to stand up and keep pushing for my happiness. And, I can see it now! Great post! And, much needed. I’m going to read it again!
Thank you so much, Dawn. I’m so glad it helped you. And I’m so proud of you for standing strong. And yes, unfortunately, bullying happens in all ages, there’s even senior bullying in nursing homes. It’s sad.
Ugh. I hate bullying. I guess bullies don’t grow up. 😔
Most don’t, sadly, hon.
“I’m a winner”
Yes! You are!
Any thinking person can see this!
I like to call me a sometime ‘thinking man!
Please, when you have the time
drop a dime
To revisit my post
NAVY Time spent underwater
I added some snippets at the end.
You know by now
How I ‘roll’
No punches pullen!
Thank you, Lance! And yes, I’ll visit your blog and check out your new posts. I read a few of your posts yesterday. So I’ll definitely be looking for something new today. 🙂🤗
Your visits mean a lot to me.
Thank you My Good Friend
You’re most welcome ☺
The one with the submarine….
Hey, Lance. I commented on your post “Cowards Never Started and the Weak Died Along the Way” I hope it went through. Is it maybe in spam?
I don’t see your comment. You know and I know….
WP is shite!
Thank you for reading me.
I appreciate you
You’re most welcome.
I just made a second attempt to comment and, UGH! I don’t think that one went through either! Oh, well, I tried. 🤷♀️
Thank you My Friend!
Well, I went lookin’ for your comment.
I get so few.
I cherie-ish ALL of them!
See what I did there?!
I crack me up!
Again, thank you!
Crap! I just made a second attempt to post my comment and I don’t think that one went through either! 🤦♀️
I am gonna have to book a flight to Mumbai and kick me some Indian WP Customer Service AZZ
Allow me to go even further:
Everytime I get a comment, I print it out, frame it and hang it on my “I Love Me Wall.”
(Just tryin’ real hard to make you laugh)
If I can do that once per day…
THAT makes Me HAPPY TOO
😂🤣😂🤣😂 Don’t worry. It’s working. You’re doing a good job at making me laugh. 😁
You are so right.! It is tough to do when in the midst of the pain and trying to heal from it. All you want then, at least, I do, is for justice to come upon their heads. You are absolutely right, with all of the above.
Thank you so much, Ruth! And they will get justice. Karma always comes back to bite them. It may not be right away, but sooner or later…🙂
I love your will to fight Cherie. 🥊 You’re right, you are far from being a victim and to proclaim that you are more than a survivor, that is courageousness to the first power! ☝️ Keep pressing forward sweetie. Don’t stop believing! 🤩 🏆 🏋️
Thank you so much, Kym! You have such a way of making people feel awesome about themselves. That’s a gift, sweetie. You have a gift and it’s people like you who make a huge difference in people’s lives. God bless you. 🙏💖😘🤗
Lord girlfriend, let me go grab another box of Kleenex!!! 😭 God bless you for saying that, and you have no idea how much I truly appreciate your endearing words Cherie! 🙏🏼 Love you much girlfriend! 💖 💘 💝
Love you too, hon! ❤😍🤗