When there’s a culture of bullying at school, everything is all about appearances. And it isn’t about what’s being done; it’s about who’s doing it.
Sadly, people often hold victims of bullying to a double-standard. If someone makes a statement, it’s never about the comment itself, but who it came from. Unfortunately, politics, whether it be on a national, local, school, or office level, is rife with double-standards.
Here are a few scenarios for examples:
1. The student body and people in the community find out that a particular girl is in a monogamous romantic relationship and that she and her boyfriend are not only dating; they have sex every weekend.
If she’s a target of bullying, she’s a “whore” or “slut.” And her boyfriend must be with her for the sole purpose of getting in her pants. It’s only a matter of time until he gets tired of her and dumps her for something better. And everyone uses her lack of celibacy as a means to persecute her.
On the other hand, what if she’s not a target of bullying (And she doesn’t have to be one of the popular crowd, she can be just an average Jane who blends in)?
As long as she’s any girl who doesn’t get bullied- she and her boyfriend are only in love, and they’re only experimenting and exploring the sexual terrain, which is only a normal part of being a young couple in love. And everyone either cuts her some slack and either doesn’t say anything, or congratulates her for reaching the milestone of finding love and losing her virginity.
Here are a few more examples:
2. A boy in the school is going out and getting drunk or high on the weekends.
If he’s a target of bullying, he’s a worthless drunk or druggie.
If he’s any boy who isn’t a target of bullying, however, he’s “cool,” he’s a hellraiser! He’s only doing what most teenage boys will try at some point during their adolescent years. And others dismiss it as his being one of the crazy kids from high school.
3. It’s discovered that a girl at school is pregnant.
If she’s a bullied girl, she’s a cheap little slut, and it’s no surprise she’s “knocked up.” People shun her like Hester Prynne in Nathaniel Hawthorne’s “The Scarlet Letter.” Everyone judges her harshly and has the attitudes that she and her baby will only live on welfare and leach from society while the non-bullied kids will move on to successful careers.
And that they will be stuck paying taxes, which will support this sorry excuse for a human being and her little spawn.
But if she’s any girl who isn’t a target of bullying, then she’s just a good girl who made a bad mistake. And everyone reaches out to her and extends compassion.
Do you see where I’m going with this?
Realize that school, office, any kind of politics and double-standards are firmly put in place to keep a select few down and oppressed.
In a nutshell, if you aren’t a target of bullying, there’s margin for error and you’re allowed to explore many worlds. You’re allowed to make mistakes. You’re allowed to be a human being.
But if you’re a target of bullying, you’re not afforded any of it. You’re not allowed to be yourself. You’re not allowed to be human because in the minds of others, you aren’t human at all. In the minds of the student body, you aren’t even allowed to be- to exist.
But no matter how they judge you, do it anyway.
1. Allow yourself to make mistakes because that’s how you learn.
2. Be yourself because that’s how you weed out the people who aren’t supposed to be in your life and attract into your world the people who belong there.
3. Be human because being human is what exposes the people who are wrong for you and shows you the people who are right for you.
4. And don’t only exist, but live! Be alive! Live life to the fullest!
5. And know that happiness is a choice! And that you do have the power to choose.
OMG, you hit it out of the ballpark with the double-standard slant Cherie. ⚾ Yes ma’am, it doesn’t matter who it comes from or how high up the ladder’s rung they may stand, double-standards have always existed. However, there’s a way to fight back and one has to know they have the power to choose whether or not to believe they matter, and not allow someone else to choose for you. 💖👏🏼💪🏽🙏🏼❤
Bingo, Kym! I especially love your last sentence!
“However, there’s a way to fight back and one has to know they have the power to choose whether or not to believe they matter, and not allow someone else to choose for you.” You nailed it here! Love it!!!
💯🎯❤🤗👏👏👏
Cherie girlfriend, thanks a million. Now if only we can get folks to believe that. But then, I don’t think we would have something to write about if they finally did huh??? ✍🏽 LOL Hugs and smooches all day long!!! 😁💖🤗💐🥰
Back atcha, girl! ❤🤗😘
I know this too well. I remember suggesting having meatball sandwiches for a school trip and I heard someone say, “That would be good.” However, because the idea came from me, it was unanimously voted down.
Yep! That’s how bullies roll, Michael! They’re so afraid of you winning at something! Or getting credit for something! That’s all it is.
p.s. You’re spot on, bullies can be such terrible hypocrites.
Absolutely 💯
There is such a Double Standard. For example take high school athletics. If the parents give a lot of money to the Booster Club or a kid is a star athlete or cheerleader they often have a different set of rules. Or if a popular kid does something wrong they are cool while the bullied kid gets punished.
Bingo!
Sadly, I’ve experienced that kind of double standard at a church I attended once (the same one where the pastor accused me of horrible things; I don’t remember if I’ve shared that). I didn’t know enough about what people said about me in school to know if I ever experienced that in school.
You never told me that and I’m so sorry that happened to you, Greg. Unfortunately, there are church bullies too- yes, the Devil goes to church too and I believe he installs bullies on the pulpit and in the congregation to sow division and discord. When I was growing up, we had bullies in a church we attended too and one was an elder.. This creep was a racist POS and ran all the blacks out of the church. When he pulled that,, we stopped going to that church.
Again,, the Devil goes to church too, Greg.. Always remember that.
I’d live to hear your story in detail and I’d even like for you to do a guest post on it if you’d like.
I may work on that guest post of one of these days. When I finish DLTDGB sometime around 2025 (or longer, considering I might need another unplanned hiatus soon now that I’m at work again), I’m planning a sequel called Just Take The Leap. It’ll be set in 2004-06; Character-Greg will be in his late 20s, facing a crisis that leads him to quit his job and set off on a new adventure. This story about the church with the problems will be one of the events that pushes him to do that, just like what happened to me in real life. It will take several episodes to tell the whole story, but I can probably abridge it for a guest post.
I made a placeholder page for the new blog already: https://justtaketheleap.wordpress.com/
I also started the dramatis personae page, with the people who will be some of the main characters from the episodes. You’ll recognize some people from DLTDGB: https://justtaketheleap.wordpress.com/dramatis-personae/
Whenever convenient. Thank you, Greg.
You are right!!do ìt anyway!!kuch to log kahenge logon ka kaam hai kehna ,dekho bekaar ki baaton me
Tum kabhi naa behna…bullying is a big problem the only way to get rid of it is mental strongness.
Thank you so much! 😊 You’re absolutely correct. Mental strength is key!
Useful article!!
Thank you so much ❤
If a fangirl of a celebrity is a target for bullying, she’s a “false idol worshiper”, if it’s a non-target, she’s a “devoted fan of (insert name)”.
Absolutely
You know you’re really passionate about what you do when you can see how it applies in every aspect of your life no matter how diverse and different it might seem on the outside! It’s a sign of dedication though! Or fatigue. Haha! Perhaps you need to learn how to wind down from the grind my friend!
I hope you get to check out my blog.
https://www.cinegists.com/grow-with-google-job
https://www.cinegists.com/fully-funded-scholarships-in-germany
Thank you, Jerry.
This topic is well explain. You should write about more discussions and I will be glad to read. Bravo, thanks to your donation on this topic.
Thank you so much! I most definitely will. 🙂
You’re welcome
Nice one
Thank you so much!
Hello, my name is Jaden and I am a part of Girl Guiding in England. I am fairly new to your page; however, I am really interested in the things you post. Recently I have chosen to work towards a badge on blogging. As a partof the badge, I must write about a bloggers experience with internet trolles. Therefore, if you are okay with it, please may you tell me about any past experiences you have had with trolles during your time as a bloggers and how you overcame these issues? Best wishes Jaden O’Connor xx